02x07 - Bee Kind

[bunniefuu]

A civilian d*ed on your watch.

I reported what I reported.
And that's that.

I'm gonna need your badge and your g*n.

Alex, are you okay?

My name is Don.

And, uh, I'm an alcoholic.

- I say we mutiny.
- We'll call it "Jeff's Mutiny."

This lifelong vow thing

is gonna be a lot harder to
get out of than we thought.

You got weak, Walsh.

Do you think this is going to work?

I have to try.

[SHIP WHIRRING]

[YAWNS]

So, uh...

Eric said this was okay?

Uh-huh.

Why did you bring a human on the ship?

As a trophy.

Oh, Jonathan, you are wicked.

Where should we mount his head?

Maybe somewhere public, to
motivate and inspire the others?

Yeah...

Sick assh*le wants to mount his head.

[SIGHS]

I hope this chamber works.

Yeah, I mean, it worked for Kurt.

Of course, uh, humans are a
more simplistic life-form.

He's lying there because of me.

I got to make it right.

I have a confession.

I, uh... I, too, got close to
one of my subjects... Kelly.

In StarCrossed? You dirty dog.

Yeah. We, uh... We broke up,

and now I'm an alcoholic.

- What?
- Yeah.

You drank one day.

And now I'm on that road to recovery.

- [ALARM BLARING]
- There's been a security breach!

We have an intruder.

It's in there. Eric wants
us to get rid of it.

I don't see anything.

[GASPS] There!

[BUZZING]

It's a bee.

I heard about a guy on another
ship that got stung by one,

and his head exploded.

- That definitely didn't happen.
- You weren't there.

Yeah, you guys brought the bee up here.

You were both down on Earth.

So was Kurt!

D-Do not blame Kurt!

You know, I bet you it was Don.

- I...
- Guys,

if we can't get rid of a bee,

how are we gonna get rid of a Cube?

Oh, guys, the bee's moving.

Huh?

Ohh! Ohh!

Holy sh*t! It flies!

Aah! Aah! Run for your lives!

[SCREAMS] Aah! Get away!

[WHIMPERING]

Guys, it's got me cornered! [CRIES]

The other day, I tried
to order a burrito.

Well, I ordered the burrito,
but then, I couldn't eat it,

because it reminded me of Ozzie.

Tastes and smells will often remind us

of the people that we love, so...

Why not try switching to
enchiladas for a while?

I-I'm sorry. Can we stop
talking about burritos?

Alex Foster has not returned
any of my calls... right?

And I have a lot of valuable
information to share with her.

Yeah. What is up with that?

Is anyone trying to solve Ozzie's case?

I talked to the FBI for minutes,

and they did not write down
a single thing that I said.

Well, what were they
supposed to write down?

What the inside of her car looked like?

Weren't you handcuffed the whole time?

Guys, an American journalist
was m*rder*d on U.S. soil.

There is no FBI follow-up,
no news coverage.

That doesn't sound strange to you guys?

The news doesn't usually
cover heart att*cks,

unless it's someone, you
know, super famous.

- A soap-opera star.
- Soap opera stars.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna tell
you guys something right now

I don't know about y'all,
but I'm not healing

until whoever k*lled Ozzie
is behind bars, or worse.

This is an FBI cover-up.

Area , Roswell, Jimmy Hoffa...

Now Ozzie Graham.

That's it. Raise your hands if
you think this is a cover-up.

Okay, fine. I admit it...
It reeks of a cover-up.

It does.

[TELEVISION TURNS ON]

Traffic on I- will be
delayed for some time.

Now over to Ozzie Graham for
a breaking news bulletin.

Thanks, Sue.

Disgraces FBI agent Alex Foster

has been suspended
indefinitely by the FBI.

This is the latest in a
pattern of rejection

that began with her parents
abandoning her as an infant.

Oh, sources say she's moping around,

feeling sorry for herself while
my K*llers remain at large.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

WOMAN: So, next up we have a
spectacular gold-link bracelet.

Now, if you think this
is beautiful on TV,

it is about , times
more beautiful in person.

Sorry, Ozzie.

Looks like I won't get the
chance to catch your k*ller.

♪

The fact that Chelsea was
even willing to do this

gives me hope.

And I know that, with your help,

we can get our marriage back on track.

It's always good to have hope, John.

But have you thought
about how healthy...

a divorce might be?

Divorce? We didn't come
here to talk about divorce.

I would be doing you

a disservice as a marriage counselor

if I wasn't willing to discuss
all possible options.

I don't think we should talk
about in our first session.

Well, Doug is the
counselor, honey, right?

So let's let him counsel.

But...

you are the only good thing
in my life, Chelsea.

Why don't we try imagining
life without Chelsea.

Just imagine... imagine doing
whatever... whatever it is

that gives you joy,

without me coming home and nagging you.

"Pick up those socks!

Take a bath!"

It says that bees are the deadliest

non-human animal in America.

You're only looking at
the bad side of bees.

They also pollinate flowers,
and they make honey.

Tell that to the people
that d*ed last year.

It's blood honey.

- [BUZZING]
- Holy sh*t!

- Don't do that!
- [LAUGHS]

- It's not funny.
- It's pretty funny.

- Geez, come on.
- [BUZZING]

I said stop it. Knock it off.

Okay, that wasn't me.

Oh.

It's back. Oh, no! I'm gonna die!

The bee's out to get me!

- Wait, wait! Hold on a sec.
- Wait!

- Where are you going?
- Oh, go away, bee.

Shoo! Go, bee! [CRIES]

Come on. That's it, bee. Come on.

Come on, bee. Look at
this big yellow flower.

Oh. And... fetch!

It worked. [CHUCKLES]

Where'd you get that flower?

Don's desk.

- Damn it, Don!
- What?

You brought the bee on the ship!

Tha... sh**t.

Dante should've been
here seven minutes ago.

Doesn't he care about his job?

Oh. Oh, no, I know I'm
getting a free pizza.

That's where this
conversation is starting.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

That better be Dante.

You're not pizza.

[SNIFFS] Oh.

Do you want to open a window?
Sort of a strong smell.

It's the smell of failure.

You get used to it after a while.

Yeah. Smells a lot like my divorce.

There you go. So, what brings
you guys to Albuquerque?

Meth?

Okay. We're here to get the
truth about how Ozzie d*ed.

Well, you might want to call the
cops, because I can't help you.

I got suspended from the FBI.

- Suspended? Why?
- Huh?

Because I'm a terrible agent.

I let Walsh get away, and
a man d*ed on my watch.

So you're just gonna give up?

Uh, yeah. I think so.

Mm-hmm.

Y-You can't just quit.

We need your help to find answers.

All right. Whatever happened
to that Alex Foster

that kept me handcuffed to her car

and would not allow me a pee
break for the entire ride

because she was so
determined to catch Walsh?

- Huh?
- She got her ass handed to her.

And now she's wearing the same
pajamas she's been wearing

for six days in a row.

- Ew.
- Okay, Alex.

Did Annie give up when Miss
Hannigan tricked her...

- Don't.
- ...and kidnapped her...

- Don't you dare.
- ...and she ran away

and went up that crazy, weird
crane thing and risked her life?

Don't bring my favorite
musical into this.

- I know what you're doing.
- Is it working?

- No.
- Oh.

Look, I get it.

I've been here with the fried
rice and the box wine,

and I got to say, Ozzie deserves better.

All right, I'll... I'll
tell you what I'll do.

I will talk to the agent
who's on the case now,

and I'll set up a meeting.

But that's all I am promising you.

- Okay.
- Okay.

And as a mental-health
professional and a friend,

honestly, you should really just take...

I know. I'm gonna shower.
You're gonna feel better.

Yeah. And we'd like
to stay here tonight.

- Do you have a spare room?
- [BELL TOLLS]

I'm so sorry.

Going to you for the marriage
counseling was John's idea,

and I thought if I said no,
then he'd be suspicious.

No, yeah. I... I understand.

It's just... It's incredibly awkward.

I have to say, Chelsea, he seems
sincere about reconciling.

I know. He's doing these...

These different things in bed, as well.
He's trying...

- No. Okay.
- You know what? Forget it.

Okay. I just...

I think that it's too little too late,

Doug, really, I do.

I'm sorry, but I'm just gonna rip
this marriage off like a Band-Aid.

I think it's for the best, right?

Doug!

I'm nodding. Yes.

I forgot you can't see me.

I'm nodding. I agree, I agree.

We can't have screw-ups like this.

You always do this.

I've never brought up a bee before.

No, not a bee.

But do you remember that time
you brought up that human cold,

and I was sick for months?

And you seem to have forgotten
the biggest screw-up...

The time that you brought up a
human woman filled with babies.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that one.

I didn't know. She was
wearing a very flowy dress.

- [WOMAN GROANING]
- What's wrong with this subject?

I don't know.

Oh, there's something coming out of her.

There is?

Ugh! Don!

She's giving birth.

- Aah!
- [WOMAN SCREAMS]

- Wow. What?
- That is beautiful.

What the hell is that?

It's a human baby.

Ugh. Get it away from me.

Where's the mother?

Oh, she just left.

She... Wha... What do you mean?

Another baby was coming out of her.

I beamed her back down.

- Where?
- I don't know.

Somewhere on Earth. I had to act fast.

Who knows how many
more she had in there.

I don't want a ship full of babies.

What do I do with this one?

You brought her up here
in the first place.

You figure it out.

Not my circus, not my monkey.

I wonder whatever happened to her.

I hope she's safe.

Oh, you hope she's safe. What about me?

That bee could be anywhere.

Just like that baby.

Excuse me. [CLEARS THROAT]

I have an appointment on Earth.

Oh, hey, Don,

make sure you bring us
back some scorpions.

Yeah, o-or a rattlesnake.

[CELLPHONE RINGS]

Hi. Chelsea?

Hi. Uh, I did it.

I told John about us and
that I want a divorce.

You... You did? How did he take it?

You know, um...

Well, not... not very well.

That's actually why I'm... I'm calling.

He wants to talk to you.

- To me? About what?
- Oh, I don't know.

He mentioned something about
maybe kicking your ass.

♪

All right. Here's our guy, Ramirez.

He's a good agent, but just so you know,

- he's a little obsessed with me.
- Oh.

Do you want me to act
like your boyfriend?

No, please don't. Don't do that.

- No?
- We're here.

- Don't.
- I'm so glad you called.

I've been really wanting to see you.

Who are these people?

"These people"? [SCOFFS]
We're concerned citizens.

Actually, we're your bosses.

Our taxes pay your salary, guy.

- They knew Ozzie Graham.
- Oh.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Are you? Are you?

- He just said he was.
- What's wrong with this guy?

- Richard.
- Just... Okay.

This is everything on the case.

Feels light.

There's hardly anything in here.

I put a gift in there for you.

Where's Ozzie's stuff?

- That's all they gave me.
- What?

I worked on the case for one day,

and then Agent Saunders
told me to shut it down.

It's been officially closed.

It's been closed?

But Walsh is still missing. A man d*ed.

There's a k*ller at large.

Look, you didn't get this from me.

Except for the gift.

- It's a bracelet.
- I don't... I don't want it.

- Well, can I...
- You can't.

- Can I call...
- No.

[CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[COUGHING] Cover-up! [COUGHING]

I can't believe the FBI
would tamper with evidence.

Ozzie's laptop, his journal, his
phone... they're all missing.

What kind of world do we live in

if you can't trust a government agency?

- Try the real one, okay?
- Look at this.

Almost the whole report's
been redacted...

My third-man theory, the bright
light, Ozzie's last words.

Wait. Ozzie said something
to you before he d*ed?

Ozzie, what happened? Are you okay?

- Trust Walsh...
- Ozzie, it's okay. I'll get help.

Find the others.

"Find the others."

God, it still haunts me.
"Find the others."

What does that mean?

Uh, other aliens, other
experiencers, other...

- "others."
- And the bright light.

I mean, why would they redact that?

I don't even know what it was.

Meh! Survey says... aliens.

Why else would they redact
all of your findings?

It sounds like you saw something
that they don't want explained.

But you know who are experts
at the unexplainable?

StarCrossed.

The FBI may have given up
on Ozzie, but we won't.

We may not surveillance capabilities,

the parking situation at
the church is not ideal...

It's not. And, honestly, that
ant problem is terrible.

- It's so gross.
- It's really bad.

But we will listen to you,

and we promise not to redact
anything that you say.

[CLAPS] Everyone? So sorry.

Rehearsals are cancelled, please.

Please, practice at home. Thank you.

Thank you, Linda. Thank you, all.

Rehearse at home.

Exit, please. Please exit, thank you.

Can I, uh... Can I have a
word with you, Father?

Oh, no.

Um...

[WOMAN GASPS]

This is a sacred area!
You're not allowed up here.

My wife was a sacred area.

[SIGHS]

- You... Oh! Okay.
- Ohh!

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Oy, my Bobby!

John, stop it!

He's a priest!

- He's a wife-stealer!
- No, John, stop it!

Fighting Doug won't solve anything!

I don't love you anymore! I love Doug!

- You love him?
- Yeah.

I love you, too, Chelsea.

Oh.

John, I'm sorry.

Our marriage is over.

It has been for a...

a l-l-long while.

I know. I know it is.

I cheated on you again.

With a lady at a gas station.

Oh.

I have a problem.

I'd like to share a story about
something I did a long time ago

that weighs heavily on my heart.

I was delivering a baby

when, suddenly, the mother disappeared.

I tried to find her, but I could not.

So I did the only thing
I could think of.

♪ You told me that this
time you are leaving ♪

DON: Goodbye, little one.

♪ To beg you to stay would be a crime ♪

♪ I hope you'd give us ♪

♪ Another chance to love ♪

♪ So I'll see you when you come again ♪

I just...

always felt guilty about abandoning her,

and I'm worried that she
never found her family

or that she grew up all
alone inside of a store.

We all do a lot of messed-up
stuff when we're drunk.

Oh, I wasn't drunk. This is
way before drinking, ever.

I never heard about alcohol
when this happened.

Oh. You drank after?

No, no. I just read your pamphlet,

and I'd like to make amends.

- I understand it's step nine?
- Yeah.

That's great, Don, but the steps
need to be done sequentially.

I know. So I did steps one
through eight this morning,

'cause I really want to help
this baby find its mother.

Want to make it right.

This is Jeff.

If you're listening to
this, it means I'm dead.

This is a record of our last moments.

Our ship was boarded by
a hostile intruder...

A bee.

What are you doing?

I'm making a record.

Future generations
should know how we d*ed.

No one's dead yet.

We've got the bee
trapped in the airlock.

What? Why didn't you tell me?

You're welcome. Okay.

Now that you're safe,

I've got some unfinished
business to take care of.

Good news. I successfully
captured the bee.

Crisis averted.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah.

It's in there.

Now, when I press this button,

the bee will get sucked out into space.

- Let me do it.
- No, I trapped it. I'm doing it.

Well, let's do it together, then.

- On the count of three.
- Okay, on three.

One...

Ha! [LAUGHS]

I got rid of the bee! [LAUGHS]

Now I can tell Eric I saved the ship,

and it'll be the truth.

You bastard.

Oh, you're a sore loser. Suck it, Kurt.

GINA: So, as far as the FBI is
concerned, the case is closed.

"Heart att*cks."

No, this is bullshit.

This would never happen
at the post office.

They make a bigger deal
about losing a package.

We're talking about a
man's life here, people.

- A man's life.
- Yeah, I-I'm not,

like, a huge conspiracy-theory wing nut,

- like...
- Excuse me.

...but this situation just
jumped from suspicious

to shady as hell.

Sorry. No offense.

No, no, no. It's okay.
It's why I'm here.

I really want to help you
guys get to the truth.

If only there was something that
could help explain all this.

I wonder what it could be, Alex?

[WHISPERING] Aliens.

At this point, Gerry,

I'm open to entertaining
all possibilities,

because Ozzie deserves justice.

But, for the record, I
still think it's Russians.

- Russians?!
- Nope. Nope.

We just talked about how it's aliens.

- Wrong!
- Russians. Ooh!

We don't know it's not the Russians.

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys,

we're welcoming a new member, okay.

Taking a new path can be scary.

But we must not be afraid
to do that that is right...

Even if no one agrees with you,

even if it's hard...
Especially if it's hard.

You meet someone who, uh,

changes your life in a
way you never expected.

I've met that someone.

And I'm going to walk
down a new path with her.

Today is my last homily.

From... From today on,

I will no longer be Father Doug...

...but just Doug.

♪

[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

♪

[LOCK RATTLING]

♪

Whoever this is, you're
making a big mistake.

This isn't a mistake.

It's payback.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

♪

All right.

I dug my own grave.

All right, now comes the hard part...

You have to k*ll me.

I'm calling your bluff.

Is that so?

That's just pointing,
that's not k*lling.

k*lling's harder. Look...

You've gone soft.

That's all right.

I mean, you're a disgrace
to your own species.

[SIGHS]

We're gonna find all you
traitors who've gone soft.

You can't hide forever.

I'm glad I k*lled your human friend...

[g*nsh*t]

[BODY THUDS]

I'm glad I k*lled you.

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]