03x05 - Little Big Head Man

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR:
Previously on Superman:

There's nothing out there
but death.

A distress signal

coming from the edge
of the system.

I'm too late.

[MACHINES BEEPING]

Maybe not.

Yeah, I saw on TV
that Intergang's back.

Oh, yeah?

MARTHA:
They're a bunch of hoodlums

with terrible weapons.

Don't even blink.

Children,
defend your granny's honor.

A super...girl?

You called, Granny?

GRANNY:
Girls, this ninny noodle

wants to play rough.

Make her last moments special.

[♪♪♪]

Lashina.
Stompa.

Mad Harriet.

Tear them apart!

Run, Jimmy!

[SHRIEKS]

Aw, poor baby.

Let me kiss it
and make it worse.

Ew!

Hands off, gruesome.

Pity we have to k*ll
the little dumpling.

She'd be perfect
for my Female Furies.

After a little brain surgery.

Aah!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Nice teamwork, ladies.

Don't just stand there,
you ninny doodles.

Finish her!

[CHATTERING]

Hey! We can't
let them do that.

Are you nuts?
She's dog meat.

And so are we,
if we stick around here.

Come on, Amy.

But what about
Supergirl?

What about her?
I'm outta here.

[GROANING]

[♪♪♪]

That's it, girlie.

Now I'm gonna
have to put my foot down.

Aah!

MAN:
So we can expect
to see quite a display

from Fleischer's Comet
as it passes our orbit.

Not too close, I hope.

Well, two-and-a-half
million miles or so.

Quite close
in astronomical terms,

but not close enough
to thr*aten.

[RUMBLING, PEOPLE SCREAM]

An earthquake
in Metropolis?

MAN:
Run! Move it!

Sorry, doc,
looks like your comet

just got bumped
off the front page.

Right, Clark? Clark?

Heads up, and off.

[ALL GASP]

Kara, I thought I told you
to stay out of trouble.

Who, me?

I'm not in trouble.

And by the way,
it's Supergirl.

See? Super...girl.

Right.

Hello, big boy.

Come to help your little friend?

Ain't that a kick.

Superman! Aah!

[♪♪♪]

Aah!

[SCREAMS]

Stop, or I'll fire!

Play with fire,
and you might get b*rned.

[LAUGHS]

Can I cook,
or can I cook?

[ALL LAUGHING]

Well done, my darlings.

He'll make an excellent toy
for the master.

Take him now.

Drat.
I'm such an old pudding head.

Where did I put
my Boom Tube controller?

Allow me, Granny.

Thank you, kitten.

Bless you.

Oh, no.

GRANNY:
Good morning, sunshine.

Where's Supergirl?

Still on that mud-ball planet
of yours.

We throw
the small ones back.

[ALL LAUGHING]

What do you want?

No time for idle chatter,
pumpkin.

We've got to get you ready
to meet the master.

Lovely.

[YELLING]

AMY:
I still can't believe
that Granny and all this stuff

are from another planet.

I'm from another planet.
It happens.

Hey, isn't this what brought
that traveling freak show here?

Looks like it.

It opens those Boom Tubes
to Apokolips.

If that's
where Superman is,

that's where I'm going.

Supergirl, wait.

Good luck.

Thanks.

I'm gonna need it.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[BEEPS]

What a toilet.

Yow!

Wouldn't wanna meet him
in a dark alley.

[MACHINE WHIRRING]

[♪♪♪]

[ANIMAL GROWLING]

Oi! Got something there, boy?

[BARKING]

[♪♪♪]

[SCREECHING IN DISTANCE]

[♪♪♪]

Oh, great.

Uh, listen.

Um, Amy, I just wanted
to say thanks.

You know,
for helping out.

Well, I helped
make this mess.

I figure I should
try to square things.

What was Granny
doing here, anyway?

What did she want
with you guys?

She was always sending us out
to get electronics and stuff.

So what did she do
with it all?

There's gotta
be more than this.

You know,
there's a room in back

she always kept locked.

Bingo.

[♪♪♪]

[GASPS]

Geez.

Granny's been busy.

[♪♪♪]

Aah!

Yes!

[PANTING]

[HORN BLARES]

[GRUNTING]

Dance, monkey-boy,
dance.

Show a little more spirit.

The master awaits you.

Hang on, Clark.

[CONTINUES GRUNTING]

Kneel before
Lord Darkseid.

I said, kneel,
you big meatloaf.

Ever proud,
eh, Kryptonian?

I must say,
I find it wearying.

What was this bootlicker
doing on Earth, Darkseid?

I thought your business there
was settled.

I never settle.

What I cannot have, I destroy.

If you att*ck Earth,

it'll be a breach
of your treaty with New Genesis.

I am well aware
of our agreement.

However, if the Earth
were to be destroyed

by a natural disaster, say...

a stray comet...

well, then I could not
be held accountable.

That comet isn't coming
anywhere near Earth.

It will now, pork chop.

Thanks to my darling
Doomsday Magnet,

which I built
on Earth myself.

An old lady
needs her hobbies.

[MACHINE BEEPING]

What are you
looking at?

It's some kind
of clock mechanism.

[BEEPING]

Don't look at me.
I didn't touch anything.

[ENERGY SURGING]

Uh-oh.

This is not good.

Definitely not good.

What are you doing?

Making up for past mistakes.

Aah!

Where's a superhero
when you need him?

DARKSEID:
The die is cast.

Within the hour, the comet will
collide with your paltry planet.

The impact
will create a dark cloud

that will cover the world,
snuffing out all life.

Ooh, the devastation.

Can you just picture it?

SUPERGIRL:
I can.

[♪♪♪]

I've seen one planet die,

and I'm not gonna stand by
and watch it happen again.

Noble sentiments, my dear.

Aah!

Kara!

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTING]

No.

Darkseid!

Aah!

You've got a lot of guts
coming here, blondie.

And we're gonna
spread 'em all over Apokolips.

[GRUNTING]

[♪♪♪]

[GROWLS]

[SCREAMING]

Okay, sugar. The main event.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[♪♪♪]

DARKSEID:
Most impressive...

but ultimately futile.

There is no escape.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Superman!

The Doomsday Magnet.

JIMMY:
You know what this is?

Yeah, it's scrap metal.

Supergirl, don't--

Some fireworks, huh?

Now, what'd I do wrong?

I might have been able
to use the magnet

to repel the comet
back into space.

Oops.

Now I'll have to do it
the hard way.

Wait!

It's entering their atmosphere.

Nothing can stop it now, master.

Nothing!

[♪♪♪]

Stay back.
I'm gonna try to deflect it.

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

Well, girl, you always wanted
to save the world.

[♪♪♪]

Kara!

Awesome.

Oh, great
and powerful Darkseid, I...

Furies, teach Granny
the price of failure.

No, my precious girls.

Don't!

Don't hurt your beloved Granny.

GRANNY [SCREAMING]:
No!

[♪♪♪]

You keep staring at your byline,
you'll burn a hole in it.

What?
Oh, uh, heh. Yeah.

It just looks so...good.

It's a big story.

You should be proud.

So tell us, Jimbo,
is she as cute as her picture?

See for yourself.

All right!

There she is. Hey.

[♪♪♪]

That reminds me, Jimmy.

My cousin's in town,
and something tells me

you two would hit it off
just fine.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]