03x10 - Unity

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Hello, citizens.

Me see no trouble.

Me world am good.

[WHISTLES]

[GASPS]

Man in danger.

Me save you.

You be okay now.

Oh-ho.

Oh, well.

Me save
more people tomorrow.

Hello, Superman.

Hello, Mama.

Hello, Da-da.

Hello, "Lu-tor."

Lois.

Mwah.

Ha-ha. Me love

Lois' funny
head trick.

Krypto...

Daddy home.

[GROWLING, BARKING]

Funny Krypto.

Daddy love you too.

Tickle, tickle, tickle.

[YELPS]

[GROWLS]

Another day complete.

Time to relax.

Aw.

Reruns again.

MAN:
This is so sad.

I can't take it anymore.

Who there?

Where am voice from?

The greatest hero
in the universe,

reduced to saving rocks

and playing house.

If I'd stay quiet
one more second,

I'd need a colossal
barf bag.

Ha!

You funny, little
big-head man.

Mr. Mxyzptlk,
at your service.

Mr. Mzzy-Plzzy?

Ah, don't bother.
You'll give yourself a hernia.

Just think of me
as your guardian angel.

You see, Rocky,

I've had my eye on you
for a while.

And, brother,
did you get a raw deal

from that lunkhead,
Superman.

But Superman am friend.

He give me planet
to protect.

[IMITATES BUZZER]

Wrongo.

Superman played you for
a chump, chum.

[MOANS]

Huh?

MXYZPTLK:
The real reason

he stuck you here
was to get rid of you.

He was jealous
of your great powers,

and couldn't stand
the competition.

See? Out of Earth,
out of mind.

Wanna see what your pal

really thinks of you?

[IMITATING BIZARRO]
Look at me.

Me am Bizarro.

Me great big dummy.

[ALL LAUGH]

Huh?

Them no laugh at me.

[GRUNTS]

Me make Superman pay.

[CRASH]

[GASPING]
No air.

Oy. Amateur.

Now,
you were saying?

Me make Superman pay.

That's my boy!

[LAUGHS]

Where am Superman?!

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

[GASPS]

Where am Super--

Oof!

Where am Superman?!

Not here. Honest.

Uh, listen, Rock,
I'm just spitballing here,

but something
inside me says...

what about
that place?

Me try there.

Yeah, I figured.

Oh, and, uh,
one other thing.

Listen to this.

What?

Some maniac
in a Superman costume

just smashed up Mandel's
department store.

If I didn't know better,
I'd say it sounded like--

Where am Superman?

BOTH:
Bizarro?

Lois.

Ow, let go.

Why you laugh
at me?
[GROANS]

Me thought
you my friend.

Now, I'm sure we can
settle this calmly.

Go away!

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

Clark!

No Clark.
Oh!

First,
Lois answer to me.

[♪♪♪]

Look, I'm sure
if we all just

calm down
and talk this over...

You no laugh at me again.

[SCREAMS]

Whoa!

Oof!

I wondered who was pushing
reporters out of windows.

Clark. I-is he--?

A little shaken up,
but he's fine.

Now it's my turn
to ask questions.

[MOANING]

All right,
Bizarro.

How did you get here,
and what do you want?

Oh, I don't
think

he's in a mood
to talk.

[SCREAMS]

Why you not
laugh now?

[GROANS]

Out of my way,
road hog!

[HONKS HORN]

Mxyzptlk?

I thought you promised
to stay away from Earth forever.

No, no, no.

I only said I wouldn't
come back and bother you.

And I'm not.
Old Rock-head here is.

And I can guess
who got him riled up.

Well, I may have said
a word or two in passing,

but you really can't
blame me for--

[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMS]

MXYZPTLK:
I should be selling this
to cable.

WOMAN:
As you can see,

humankind has come a long way
from its primitive roots.

Once a savage
beast,

man is now
a civilized creature.

[CRASH]

[ALL SCREAM]

Pardon me, citizen.

[MOANS]

[GRUNTING]

[LAUGHS]

This is great.

Mxy.

Hiya, Gspie.

You're just in time
to see the fun.

Popcorn?

Baby, you know
you shouldn't be here.

If the tribunal hears
what you've done--

Ah, why do
those schmoes care?

I ain't done
nothing wrong.

Nothing wrong?

Try lying,
tampering with humans,

breaking interdimensional law
for the umpteen-millionth time.

Lighten up,
sweets.

I'm just having
some laughs.

[GRUNTING]

Hey, 10 bucks
says Bizboy

mops the floor
with Superhead.

You in?

The leaders aren't
gonna like this.

Like they'll ever find out.

Hey!

Whoa!

What gives?

[GRUNTS]

JUDGE:
Mr. Mxyzptlk.

Oh, nuts.

You have been accused

of breaking
the interdimensional law,

maliciously
torturing members

of a less advanced
species.

And most heinously,

going back on your word.

Was that wrong?

Such conduct is
completely unbecoming

to the superior beings

of the fifth-dimensional
land of Zrfff.

If it please
Your Honor,

I present
documented proof

the defendant suffers

from a chronic
psychological fixation,

and should not be considered
accountable for his actions.

Go, girl!

Furthermore--

JUDGE:
Silence!

[SCREAMS]

Gspie?
Yoo-hoo.

I'm dead.

Look, guys, what the tree
here said is right.

I can't help
if I keep goofing

on that big lox,
Superman.

It's what I do.

I don't need
punishment.

I need
understanding.

You know how it is.

Fish gotta swim
and birds gotta fly.

I've gotta bug that jerk
till I die.

Or he does.

Oh, yeah, Mr. Big sh*t.

Mr. Truth-Justice-
and-the-American-Way.

Ha!

He's a bug,
you hear me!

A bug!

He sickens me.

Enough!

Because you are
determined

to repeatedly inv*de
the third dimension,

this tribunal sentences you
to stay there

for no less than one
dimensional interphase...

Fine by me.

Twenty minutes
and I'll be running the joint.

Without
your powers.

What?

If, after 90 days,

you have performed
one good deed

for the beings
you once tortured,

you'll be reinstated.

That
is all.

Whew.

No! Wait!

You can't!

Mxy.

[GRUNTS]

Ha! Fine.

So I don't have powers.
So what?

It'll be worth it
to see Superdupe get his.

I'm laughing at you,
you hear?!

Laughing!

Say, where is
Blueboy anyhoo?

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

Yah!

[SCREAMS]

Ow.

[GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

You've got to listen to me.

So you trick me like before?

Send me away again?
Ha!

Oh, I don't feel so good.

But it's still worth it.

Huh?

Listen to me,
my friend.

Mxy's playing you
for a fool.

Little big-head-man
my friend.

Him say you enemy.

Him lie like rug.
Trust me.

No!

[GRUNTING]

[GROWLS]

[SIZZLES]
[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Secure the area.

[g*ns COCK]

Now me am world's
greatest hero.

Fire.

[GROANS]

Why you att*ck?

Me am hero.

Now, before
he recovers.

Fire.

[SCREAMS]

I hope I ain't missed
the m*ssacre.

Whoa, Rocky.
Where you going?

Supershlub's
that way.

Why bad men sh**t at me?

Hey, easy on
the material, Frankenstein.

Send bad men away,
Little Big-Head.

Send them away.

I'd love to help you,
Rocky,

but power-wise,
my t*nk is dry.

No!

[GURGLES INDISTINCTLY]

Send them away.

Do it!

Kltpzyxm. Kltpzyxm!

Oh, mama,

this was
a bad idea.

[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMS]

Give him another.

[SCREAMS]

[SHRIEKS]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

One more blast
and he's dust.

I guess there's
no other option.

Do it.

[GRUNTS]

Hold your fire.

You okay?

Whew. That thing's
got a kick.

[BIZARRO GROANING]

You save me.

Why?

Because I knew
Mxy tricked you.

If it makes you feel better,
he's done it to me. A lot.

Now do you believe
I'm not your enemy?

Sorry.

I accept
your apology.

And just to prove
there are no hard feelings.

What this?

A peace offering.

[HISSES]

Uh.

Hm.

Peaceful. Mm.

That'll keep him quiet
till I can fly him home.

Kltpzyxm, Kltpzyxm!

And you better split too,

if you know
what's good for you.

Sorry, Super.

The wet blankets
that run my dimension

said I gotta
perform a good deed

before they
let me back.

In other words, three months
of community service.

[CHUCKLES]
Yeah.

So, uh,
press your cape?

Actually...

I have something
more constructive in mind.

Hello, citizens.

It good to be back.

World am safe.

Me see no trouble.

Me say,

me see no trouble.

I heard you
the first time.

Okay, let her rip!

[WHISTLES]

Huh?
[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

Watch it,
you big jerk!

Three months of this?

I don't think so.

I quit.

[GROWLING, BARKING]

[SCREAMING]

Nice doggy.

Heel! Play dead!

Help!

Life am good.

[♪♪♪]