03x09 - Grief is a Mouse

[bunniefuu]

The Massachusetts Law Society
is so looking forward to your speech.

They triple confirmed with me
that you were coming.

I'm sorry. I'm just a bit preoccupied
with family matters.

This wouldn't have anything to do

with why none of your family was present

at the memorial for young Stearns,
would it?

Sadly, yes. My son is
behaving abominably,

my wife has taken to bed, and now
even Emily is upset with me.

Oh, Emily. Well... [SCOFFS]
She's always been a bit of a handful.

[CHUCKLES] Bit of
a wild child, that one.

I suppose.

Well, I was going to keep this part
a secret till we got to Boston.

But you look like someone who
might welcome some good news.

What's that?

Edward Dickinson,

you won't just be giving a speech
at the Law Society tonight.

In fact, you'll be greeted

by the leaders of the
Massachusetts Republican Party,

who plan to offer you the nomination

for the next Lieutenant Governor.

- Lieutenant Governor?
- Mm-hmm.

- It's an honor.
- Indeed it is.

I am thrilled to get
you back into politics

and to leave your stuffy
Whig days behind you.

Edward, think of it.
You'll be a Republican.

At last, you'll be on
the right side of history.

I'm afraid I cannot accept.

Edward, you were made for this position.

You are a pillar of Amherst,

which is now one of
the most pro-abolition

townships in the whole state.

And you have a measured and
traditional approach to the law.

I may have the credentials,
but I don't have the desire.

I need to be in Amherst with my family,

not in Boston with Republicans.

I beg you to take a
moment to consider...

My decision is final.

- [GASPS] Geez.
- Stop the carriage!

[CARRIAGE DRIVER] Whoa!

- What is this?
- I'm letting you out.

[STAMMERS] Here?
We're halfway to Boston.

What about the meeting
at the Law Society?

- Edward, you never cease to disappoint me.
- Oh, God.

You are a backwards-thinking,
stuck-in-the-mud, stuffy, old Whig.

You simply cannot accept that the life
of this country is moving on.

So I suppose that means
it will have to move on without you.

So, get out. Now!

- Edward Dickinson, you are a coward.
- What?

- And a milksop.
- [GRUNTS]

And a mouse!

- How?
- Now, driver!

Conkey.

Yes.

All right, I am a mouse.

But I need to get home
to my little mouse family.

[SHEEP BLEATING]

[BIRDS TWITTERING]

[SIGHS]

[EMILY] To know the worst
leaves no dread more -

I wonder what she wants
to talk to us about.

I don't know, but I guess it's urgent.

I got a box with a piece
of cake inside of it

on top of a note card
that said, "This is urgent".

Yeah, I got one too.

Hmm.

There she is.

Emily. You wanted to see us?

Ah. Brother, sister.

Yes, I summoned you.
Thank you for heeding the call.

[WHISPERS] Why is she talking like that?

I summoned you because we have
a matter of great urgency to discuss,

something that concerns the three of us

and our mutual future as siblings.

Call it a sibling summit, if you will.

- I will.
- I have no idea what's happening.

William Austin Dickinson,
despite your recent efforts

to establish a distance
between yourself and this family,

the fact remains that no such separation

has officially or legally been created.

Therefore, the family, effectively
and forthwith, remains intact.

- Hence, consequently, and ergo...
- Ergo?

Ergo, you are still our brother.

And you are still our father's only son.

What in the world?

Emily, whatever it is you're trying
to say, can you say it in a way

that doesn't sound like we're on trial
for some very boring crime?

Okay. Dad asked me
to be the executor of his will,

and it turns out he is giving
everything to Austin, including us.

What do you mean "including us"?

When Dad dies, Austin
becomes our guardian.

He gets the house,
all the assets and us.

We are just another piece of property.

[GASPS] Oh.

Uh, well, I mean, yeah. I figured.

When you don't have a husband
and your father dies,

you belong to your brother.

It is a patriarchy after all.

Okay. [CHUCKLES] Well,
I am not just gonna sit here

and let my brother
take control of my life.

I don't want to control your life.

I don't even want to be
a part of this family.

Dad messed all of us up.

And I've got my hands full dealing
with my own personal trauma.

- Yes, about that.
- Okay.

Austin, you have spent the past
few months, shall we say,

drawing our attention to all the ways

in which our father has failed us.

And I am ready to admit now
that you were right.

About what?

Our father has been
a tremendous disappointment.

- Yes.
- He has behaved exactly and at all times

in accordance with contemporary
social expectations and norms,

which is to say, he's
been a real assh*le.

Yes, well, I'm glad
you can see that now.

I can.

You were right. I was wrong.
I should've never chosen him over you.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

Wow.

Okay. Thank you.

And yet, here we are...

[SNIFFLES] ... with you next in line
to his patrimonial throne.

And the two of us, powerless.

- Your subjects.
- I truly don't see you that way.

Which is why we are having
this conversation.

- I need you to make a promise to us.
- What promise?

That you will not allow
history to repeat itself.

What exactly do you mean?

The past is the past. It's gone.

And there is nothing
we can do to change it.

But if we are willing to face the past,

then maybe... maybe there is something
we can do about the future.

So, Austin, will you promise us

that you will not be the same
kind of man our father was...

that no matter what
the laws of society say,

as long as we live together,
you will treat us with respect

and you will give us the freedom,
all the freedom that we deserve?

Sisters...

you can count on me.

[CHUCKLES] All right.

On one condition.

What?

Vinnie has to get rid of her cats.

- Ooh, I agree. I hate those cats.
- No!

- Just am not a cat person.
- Yeah, me neither.

I am not getting rid of
my cats, you guys.

Vinnie, we spend $ a week on milk
and cream. We can't afford that.

Question: What is your
position on foxes?

- What?
- Never mind. It's not up to you.

We are independent women, and you
just promised to always respect that.

We will go over the details later?
Should we shake on it?

- [GRUNTS]
- [CHUCKLES]

Okay, I want to.

Love you, big bro.

I love you guys.

Oh. It's honestly weird not to be
drowning in grief for a moment.

[AUSTIN CHUCKLES]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

Making the world a better place
one Dickinson at a time.

Okay, Mom. Up and at 'em.

It is a brand-new day.
Whoo! It's beautiful.

And it's time for you to get out of bed.

Leave me alone.

Nope. I am here to cheer
you up and comfort you,

whether you like it or not.

Please don't jostle me.

Mom, you need to be jostled.

You have been in bed for over a week.

I can't just let you lie here
and die of sadness.

Plus, the house... the house is dusty.

We need you back on broom duty.
You're the broom queen.

Flattery isn't going to work.

I'm simply too riddled
with grief to go on living.

There's a hole in my heart
that's never going to be filled.

Could we talk about it?

The only person I wanna talk to
is my sister Lavinia. And she's gone.

You know, even when people die,
their spirits can stay with us.

I'm telling you, I saw the spirit
of Aunt Lavinia at her funeral,

in the shape of a bird.

Come on. That's impossible.
She hated birds.

She did? I never knew that.

Nobody knew my sister as well as I did.

Nobody loved her like I did.
I miss her so much.

Tell me what you miss.

Oh, everything.

You know what I was
thinking about today?

The way she would
slip her hand into mine

whenever we were next to each other.

She did it ever since we were
children. No thought to it.

Just as if we were
meant to be conjoined.

Go on. What else?

The sound of her voice,
the jokes we shared,

the way she could make me laugh.

We always spoke the same language.
We were cut from the same cloth.

She was at once part of me
and the person I wanted to be.

That's having a sister, I guess.

Yeah. I'm glad I have one.

You and Lavinia are so lucky to be

growing old together
under the same roof.

I wish I had that experience,

instead of leaving home
as young as I did.

Honestly, sometimes
I'm envious of you girls.

Oh, Mom, I didn't know
you felt that way.

Your relationship with your sister
is the most precious one.

[MOUSE SQUEAKING]

Be grateful for every moment you share,

because, one day,
she won't be there anymore.

Mom, when was the last time
you cleaned this place?

Oh, I don't know.
Feels like f-forever. Why?

Because I... [CHUCKLES]

I think I just saw a m-mouse!

- Mouse? There's a mouse in my bedroom?
- Yes. Yes.

Where is it? Where did it go?

Ha! I just saw it. It's over there.
It ran into the corner.

How is it that Vinnie has cats,
and we still get mice?

Haven't you girls been cleaning at all?
The house must be filthy.

I'll get a broom. I'll chase it.

- No. I just had a thought.
- What thought?

My sister, your Aunt Lavinia,
she hated birds...

- Yes, you mentioned that.
- ... but she loved mice.

She used to keep them as pets.

She'd feed them cheese and name them

after all of her favorite
fairy tale characters.

- Rapunzel, Rumpelstiltskin, Snow White.
- Cute.

And sometimes, she'd play pranks on me
because she knew I was afraid of mice.

- Once, she put one in my bed.
- Okay, rude.

Emily, don't you see?

That mouse, I believe it's
the ghost of Aunt Lavinia.

Oh, my God.

Mom, I think you're right.

I'd know the ghost
of my sister anywhere.

That mouse has her exact vibe.

I got her.

Aunt Vinnie, is that you?

- Don't hurt her.
- I'm not gonna hurt her.

Mom, Aunt Vinnie is here with us.

She's here to listen to
whatever you need to tell her.

Go ahead.

Oh.

Sister?

Sweet Vinnie, is that really you?

[SQUEAKS]

Talk to her, Mom. Let it out.

I'm sorry that I left home so young.

I'm sorry that we didn't have
the chance to grow old together.

[SNIFFLES]

I'm sorry that having husbands
and children kept us apart.

Keep going. Mom, this
is helping. I can feel it.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

- You were the best friend I ever had.
- Hmm.

[SNIFFLES] And I'll miss you
every day for the rest of my life.

[SQUEAKS]

[SOBS]

And now I'll let you go. [SNIFFLES]

- [SNIFFLES]
- [CHUCKLING] There she goes.

Those were the things
I wanted to say at her funeral,

but I didn't get the chance to.

She's heard you say them now.

[SMACKS LIPS]
My heart still has a hole in it.

[SNIFFLES] But now there's
a little mouse that lives in the hole.

Mom, that is so beautiful.

I think I might put that in a poem.

Really? [SNIFFLES]

That would make me very happy.
[CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES]

[SNIFFLES] Right.

Time to get dressed and sweep
every inch of this house.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Mrs. Dickinson is back!

[LIVELY POP MUSIC PLAYS]

Oh, Austin. Good. You're here.
I just brought out the tea.

Is somebody here?

Yes. George Gould. He came to see you.

George. W-Why are using
the fancy tea service for George?

Hey, buddy.

I came to say goodbye.

George.

A uniform.

Just picked it up from the tailor's.

Fit's just right.

[EXHALES SHARPLY] So you're...

So you're off to fight?

Yes, I am.

I got my draft card a couple days ago.

I'm joining the Massachusetts st.

That's the same regiment as Frazar.

May he rest in peace.

Buddy,

I can't believe this.

The Union need all the men they can get.

Every man in Amherst is getting
drafted. Cards come every day.

I-I'm surprised
you haven't gotten yours yet.

Yes. Well, um... [SMACKS LIPS]
I'm sure mine will come soon.

Mmm.

Any day now.

George Gould, you're very brave.

Just doing my duty.

I've been called to fight,
and I will fight.

Because I believe in a better country,

same as John Brown,

same as Frazar.

[INHALES SHARPLY] There's
something I have to tell you.

- Both of you.
- Austin. What is it?

I-I've done something that I don't think

either of you can ever forgive me for.

What could be so bad?

I paid someone to go to w*r in my place.

My draft card came,
and a few days later,

I... I went off to a bar, got drunk,

and I paid the Irish bartender
to go in my place. I...

[SNIFFLES] It was later that day that

we found out that
Frazar had been k*lled.

I just...

I couldn't leave him.

[SUE] Leave who?

The baby. Our son.

I want to be a good father.

I don't want to be
the kind of father I had.

I don't wanna be that kind of man.

I wanna be different.

And I want our son to be different too.

And if I go off and... and leave
him and never come back,

how will I teach him?

How will I make sure

that the future of the Dickinsons
is different from the past?

Now, there's gonna be a dead Irishman
off in a field somewhere,

and I'll be right here.

A traitor.

And coward.

Austin.

I understand.

You don't have to say that, George.

But I mean it.

You've done what you've done.

A-And there's no going back on it now,

but that doesn't mean all is lost.

You can still make up for it.

There is work to be done
in all corners of society.

You don't have to go to w*r to be a man.

You might find ways to make this
country better by staying right here,

at home...

while you're looking after your family.

Whoo-hoo! Mmm.

We left it all on the floor.

- Yes, we did.
- Mm-hmm.

- Some people want it to happen.
- [SOLOMON] Mm-hmm.

- Others wish it would happen.
- [EVERETT] Yeah.

- And some people make it happen.
- Whoo! That's right!

- We made it happen.
- [HENRY] Yes!

We turned a negative situation
into a positive situation.

- We play to win!
- Yeah!

[MICHAEL] Greatness is
an evolutionary process.

Ha ha!

- I believe I can fly.
- Go, Michael Jordan.

I believe you can fly too,
Michael Jordan.

I do too.

In fact, I just saw it happen.

We flew over those Southern boys.

They never even saw us coming.

They just heard the sounds of our wings.

- Henry, that's beautiful.
- We were like birds.

Hell yeah, man. We moved
together. We flew together.

- Mm-hmm.
- b*ttlefield Boys for life! You hear me?

- b*ttlefield Boys.
- You hear me?

- A murmuration.
- A murmur-what?

A murmuration.

That's what you call a flock of birds
that flies synchronistically.

[EVERETT] Oh.

Starlings are the classic example,
but geese have been known to do it too.

- Henry, have a drink.
- [HIGGINSON] Hey! There you are!

We ain't in class no more.

- [ALL LAUGHING]
- Everybody! There you are!

- Holy sh*t! That was epic.
- [WALL] What the hell?

- [WALL] Look who's here.
- [ERASMUS] You all right there, Colonel?

Yes, I'm just... [BREATHES DEEPLY]

It's been an emotional
hours. [LAUGHING]

Aw. As soon as I realized
what you'd done,

I feared you were all dead.

[CHOKES] No. We not dead. They dead.

[ALL LAUGHING]

I'm sorry, sir,

but in the end, we decided to go
ahead and create our own future.

So I see. And what a
victory you have won.

It's incredible.

Though I will say you caused
quite a stir back at the base.

Saxton doesn't know what to do
other than yell at me.

We never meant to cause you trouble.

Please. You reminded me how much
I miss being a troublemaker.

[CHUCKLES]
I'm a reformer, not a conformer.

To be honest, I actually feel like, uh,

like I lost my way a little bit,

which is why I'm going
to be taking a sabbatical.

A "sababa"?

A sabbatical?

Yes, I have much to ponder,
much to reflect on.

And I'll be taking some
time off to do that.

While I'm gone,

you'll be in charge.

I've decided to make you a sergeant.

I'm sorry. Me? In charge?

- Yes, you.
- [MICHAEL] Whoo-hoo!

You've more than proved yourself.
Don't you think, guys?

- Hey!
- [HIGGINSON] Who could be better?

- Yeah.
- Henry.

[ALL CHANTING] Henry, Henry,
Henry, Henry, Henry, Henry!

- [ALL LAUGHING]
- Go ahead, Alphabet!

- [ERASMUS] Hey!
- It's settled.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

[HENRY] And where will you go?

Home, Boston town. But first, Amherst.

Amherst?

Yes. There's someone there
that I just have to meet.

A poet whose words have brought me

so much comfort and clarity
during these bitter months.

Her name's Emily Dickinson.

Henry, what is it?
You look like you've seen a ghost.

I know Emily Dickinson.

- What?
- I used to work for her family.

Wait. [CHUCKLES] You're
telling me that this whole time,

I've been with someone
who knows this person?

Somebody who's actually
been in her presence?

This genius who... who captured

emotions that I didn't
even know I possessed?

Her lines still haunt me.

Check this out.

My Life had stood - a Loaded g*n -

In Corners - till a Day

The Owner passed - identified -

And carried Me away -

- Okay. God dang.
- Some white girl wrote that?

She spittin'.

Henry, honestly, you have to tell me.

What is she like?

You know, you should really
discover that for yourself.

- You're absolutely right.
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah.

All the more reason for me
to leave at once. [CHUCKLES]

Higginson, wait.

Yeah?

If you're going to Amherst,

there's something I
need you to do for me.

[SNIFFLES]

- Hmm.
- [BIRDS SQUAWKING]

[CHUCKLES] Well, would you look at that?

[ERASMUS CHUCKLES] Beautiful.

- [SOLOMON] Mmm.
- [ERASMUS] Wow.

I'll tell y'all, now that
I learned how to fly...

- Yeah? Go on, tell us.
- Mm-hmm?

I'll never walk again.

[SIGHS]

[KNOCKING]

Emily.

I came to see you.

Uh, come in.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

Oh, you have guests.

Austin invited some people
over to say goodbye.

Goodbye to who?

[SUE] George. He's going to w*r.

Not George too.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[SIGHS]

Well, I wanna say bye to him then,

but I want some time
alone with you tonight.

All right.

Is there, uh, something specific
that you want to talk about or...

There is,

but it can't be said in words.

[GASPS] Emily. Emily, the guests.
[BREATHES HEAVILY]

- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
- The two of us.

Okay? Tonight.

"Come, let's have one other gaudy night.

Call to me, all my sad captains.

Fill our bowls once more.

Let's mock the midnight bell".

That's from Shakespeare Club.

- Let's party, my platonic friend.
- [CLICKS TONGUE]

["INSIDE OUT" PLAYING]

[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[SONG CONTINUES]

[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[MOUTHING] Watch me.

[SONG CONTINUES]

[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

- [SONG ENDS]
- Helen!

Come on in, honey.

Dinner's hot.

What on earth?

Betty.

Good evening.

Mr. Dickinson, what happened to you?

You look like you've
been living underground.

Well, I'm all right.
I'm all right. I'm...

I was thrown from a carriage
halfway to Boston.

So I decided to walk home, but I'm fine.

Your coat is in tatters.

You must be starving.

Would you... Would you
like a bowl of soup?

Oh, no, no, no. You're too kind.

It's meatball soup. Very hearty.

Meatball soup?

Why don't you come on in?

There's plenty of food.
I'll mend your coat for you.

You can't go home to Mrs. Dickinson
looking like that.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Hi, Mama.

I was playing fairies in the woods.

- She has quite the imagination, this one.
- That's just like my Emily.

Mr. Dickinson's gonna come
eat some soup with us.

- No, I... I coul... I...
- Now, you hush.

I can't let a man go hungry.

He can sit in Daddy's chair.

She misses her father.

Yes. Well, I'm sure he misses you.

Being a father is one of the
greatest gifts in the world.

So, yeah.

I've been working on a new
performance piece about grief.

We've all been processing
so much grief, you know?

We've lost loved ones.
And we've lost more than that.

We've lost an old world.

We've lost the way things used to be.

So, what's the new piece?

Yeah, it sounds amazing.

Well, it's site-specific.

I do it in the barn with a dying sheep.

Not Old Bessie?

- Yes.
- [EMILY GASPS]

- No.
- I sit across from Old Bessie...

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]

... and I stare into her eyes,
and I think about death.

I picture the sheep slowly dying,

her body slowly decomposing,

her eyeballs popping
out of their sockets

just as Joseph's eyeballs
must have popped out,

one by one.

- Pop! Pop.
- [GASP]

I meditate on the basic reality
that one day we will all be dust.

[MUSIC STOPS]

It's called Sheep No More.

It's dedicated to the memory
of all my dead ex-boyfriends.

Wish I was sticking around
long enough to see that.

Oh. There is no audience.

I do love sheep.

These years of w*r have really
changed all of us, haven't they?

[AUSTIN] Yeah.

Sometimes I feel like we've
inherited a totally different world

from the one our parents knew.

Maybe that's a good thing.

The world is messed up, but...

I think we can all find ways
to make it better,

even if just a little bit.

I wanna believe that, George.

And I don't know what my way
is yet, but I'm gonna find it.

And whenever you come back home, I...

You'll be proud of what I've done.

Well, then, I hope I come back.

[EMILY] The way Hope builds his House

It is not with a sill -

Nor Rafter - has that Edifice

But only Pinnacle -

[ABIAH] Look on the bright side, George.

Now that you've enlisted, you'll
receive a free copy of Drumbeat,

the Union Army newsletter
my husband and I publish

with the help of
Abraham Lincoln himself.

The President.

Here. I happen to have
a spare copy right here.

Oh, and Emily has a poem in this one.

A poem?

Oops, I mean, anonymous does.

I don't understand.

Emily, I gave them one of your poems.

You... did?

I said it had to be anonymous.
I knew that you'd want it that way.

But your work is so powerful.

And I just felt like
the country needed it.

[CHUCKLES]

Will you forgive me?

Hey, you should read it to us.

Oh, that would be huge.

- Yes. A poem by Emily.
- She won't do it.

- She never reads aloud.
- Emily, do it. Just this once.

[GEORGE] Would you, Em?

It'd be the greatest
goodbye gift for me,

to have your voice
in my head while I'm...

out there.

I'll do it.

I'll do it for all of you. [CHUCKLES]

But mostly for Sue.

[BREATHES SHAKILY]

These are the days
when Birds come back -

a very few -

a Bird or two -

To take a backward look.

These are the days

when skies resume

The old - old sophistries of June -

A blue and gold mistake.

Oh fraud that cannot cheat the Bee.

almost thy plausibility

Induces my belief.

Till ranks of seeds their witness bear -

and softly thro' the altered air

Hurries a timid leaf.

Oh Sacrament of summer days,

Oh Last Communion in the Haze - Permit

a child to join -

Thy sacred emblems to partake -

Thy consecrated bread to take

and thine immortal wine!

Thank you for publishing my poem.

[CHUCKLES] Thank you for writing it.

You know, this...

this right here...

this is better than any poem.

[BREATHING DEEPLY, SIGHING]

[EMILY] All the letters I can write

Are not fair as this -

Syllables of Velvet -

Sentences of Plush,

depths of Ruby, undrained,

Hid, Lip, for Thee -

Play it were a Humming Bird -

And just sipped - me -

[EMILY BREATHES HEAVILY]