02x04 - Lyin' Eyes

[bunniefuu]

Look, duct tape is
pretty much a miracle creation

that right now is holding
this ship together.

But that isn't one of its uses.

Quill, Rocket informed me

this binding ribbon
was excellent body armor.

Uh, of course he did, Drax.

Did he also happen to mention

how to get that armor off your body?

How would that be a problem?

Hmm.

Rocket? Is everything all right?

What? No. No, no.
Everything's swell.

So, let's skip the formalities, Broker.

Word on the street is, you've been
getting into the high-risk market.

I could, in theory, broker
a deal for the Cosmic Seed,

assuming that's why you contacted me.

Cosmic Seed? Oh...

That's so last cycle.

I got something better.

Found it inside Thanos' asteroid.

Yes! Oh, that will do.

I'll come by your ship.
What's your dock number?

Ain't the kind of deal I want
to share with my partners.

How about I meet you at Starlin's?

Whoa!

This is not body armor.

It is a painfully effective adhesive.

I demand an apology.

You should apologize to me for
wasting the last of my duct tape!

That stuff don't grow
on trees, you know.

Now leave me alone.

I will not leave your side
until I receive an honorable apology.

I have made amends by
conserving your supply

until you find a true duct tape tree.

Now, is there something
you wish to say to me?

Yeah. Take a hike!
I'm meetin' somebody.

Uh, so's I can buy parts
to fix our ship.

Yeah, that's it.

Drax the Destroyer.

Where ya been hidin' yourself, buddy?

Greetings, J'Que. Drax the
Destroyer does not hide.

I have been guarding
the galaxy with my friends.

Yah!

Okay.

Hey, how about a whirl on the
F'saki table for old times, huh?

Drax the Destroyer will play.

And win, as I win at all things.

Alas, I do not possess any units
to purchase a F'saki to race.

Fine. One game.

Then you gotta leave

so's I can conduct my business.

- I accept your apology.
- It ain't an apology!

It's insurance that
nothing's gonna go wrong.

Hey! What happened here?

Can't remember? Too bad.

You two ain't goin' nowhere
till these damages are paid for.

I do not remember
causing these damages,

so I will not accept payment for them.

Where's my Pocket
Dimension Storage Vial?

If you deadbeats won't pay,

then you're gonna be
part of the damage.

Fear not.

I will fend off these F'sakis with my...
Where is my a*?

Well, great!
Our weapons are gone, too?

You know, whatever happened,
I blame you.

I cannot accept blame
for something I do not recall.

Then let me refresh your memories.

You two and your other friend
destroyed my establishment!

What other friend?
We don't have friends.

Not true, Rocket.
We have many friends.

Quill. Groot. Gamora.

Aah!

What is wrong with...

Ugh!

Yondu.

I do not consider Yondu a friend.

Neither do I. But that's gotta
be who J'Que was talking about.

Yondu must have slipped
a knockout arrow on us.

And stole my vial.

And we have no
krutackin' way of finding it!

Or maybe we do.

Follow that arrow!

What is so important about
this vial Yondu has taken?

Were you not on a mission
to get repair parts?

Uh, the parts
are in the vial, obviously.

We need them!

Oh. Sorry.

When did you have time
to obtain the spare parts?

Stop asking krutackin' questions!

Perhaps we should enlist
the help of our allies.

No way! 'Cause we don't
want 'em to know we...

I mean, you lost our parts, do we?

But surely our absence
would cause greater concern.

Hey, Gamora, you notice how
peaceful it's been around the ship?

Now that you mention it.

I am Groot.

Eh. Probably just a coincidence.

Ah, there you are, old friend.

Was wondering where you flew off to.

Yo, Yondu, give us back
that vial you stole.

I didn't steal
nothin' from you, varmint.

Now, I won that vial, and your weapons,
fair and square in that F'saki race.

Which wasn't rigged at all.

- Oh, yeah? Tell it to the F'saki!
- Huh? Heh...

They sure like them treats
you got stashed in your pocket.

Eh, mmm...

Uh, pure coincidence.

You made us unconscious,
and destroyed the tavern.

Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.

Who knows?

I ain't no detective.

I know ways to use this w*apon.

Uh, wait, wait, wait!

I'd love to give you back the vial,
but the thing is, I don't have it.

I ran into the Broker.
He had units, and...

What was I supposed to do?

You sold it? To the Broker?

Why? Somethin' important in it?

It contains parts to fix our ship.

Well, flarg.

We got a whole hangar
full of ships here.

I can rip off any part you need.

It wasn't just parts, it was...

It was the last lock of tail
fur from my sainted mother!

I did not know this. There is
nothing more important than family.

Except maybe our weapons.

Hand 'em over, Yondu.

My vial!

Give it back, or I decorate
the room with your insides.

Please! I don't have it anymore.

It wouldn't open, so I sold it
as a blind lot to an auction house.

Do you respect Rocket's mother?

I'm sure that I do.

Then you will tell us the
location of this auction house.

It won't be easy to get into.

It's a very selective crowd
with exclusive entry bands.

These aren't your kind of people.

No people are my kind of people.

But that won't stop us. We're pros.

"Undercover" is our middle name.

Incorrect.
My middle name is "the."

Oy.

Okay. Don't mess this up.

Fear not. I will impress you

with the false identity skills you
and Quill have been teaching me.

No entry without a wrist band.

I do not require a wrist band.

For I am Dra... Drackson.

Drackson the Flame Broiler.

- I am catering this event.
- Oh, yeah?

- And who's he?
- He is the main course.

Well, let's see if you're on the list.

Drackson...

Uh, here you are.

We're actually on the guest list?

No. The "terminate
on sight" list.

Two against one?

We got this.

Then clearly, you've never met...

The Blood Brothers!

For the honor of Rocket's mother!

Aah!

You cannot defeat us.

For we are of one mind!

Aah!

You share a brain?
Hmm, makes sense.

Aah! Which one's
using it right now?

So you guys share everything?

That's gotta be awkward sometimes.

Like right now!

That was just to get your attention.

And now you're out cold!

See? That's why I always
say sharing is overrated.

Taking, on the other hand...

Keep your eyes peeled.

The vial's gotta be
somewhere, ready for sale.

Eye-peeling is
a barbaric practice.

My people outlawed it long ago.

Hmm.

Weird.

Tell me, friend,
have you ever considered

maximizing your potential
through belief?

Behold, Drax the Destroyer!

Is this not maximum enough?

The Believers can show you how
to move beyond the physical

with the power of your mind.

Believers, huh?

We met one of those
crackpots on Spartax.

Ain't you a little far
from home out here?

Our ranks expand, thanks to
the work of our patriarch.

We now have eyes and ears
across the galaxy.

Complete bodies would be more useful.

A Golden Age is coming, my friend.

We believe an item at this very
auction will usher in that age.

These are the same nutjobs
who thought Quill was the Chosen One.

I wouldn't take 'em too seriously.

Here, brother.

This will point you to
the nearest Believer ship,

so you can join us
once you see the light.

Thank you, but my eyesight
is already perfect.

We ain't here to make friends.

Those two are nuttier that
that antenna lady on Spartax.

You mean her?

Mantis? She'll recognize us! Hide!

Oh!

Hail, Mantis, celestial
protege of the Universal Believers.

Brother Raker. Brother Arokine.

I have located the vial.

I believe it emanates the energy
signature predicted by the prophecy.

Aah!

The prophecy states
the item that lies within

will bring about a new Golden Age.

Or the destruction of the universe.

But we believe the Golden Age...

will be the outcome.

Come. We must exercise the mental
powers granted by our belief.

We believe the others at this
auction will not bid on the vial.

You hear that? Those wackos
could destroy the universe!

But how could your mother's tail fur
bring about the end of the universe?

Have you met my mom?

Point taken.

Aah!

Ugh! Truly foul.

Where are we?

You know how Knowhere's a big head?

Well, this is the sinus cavity.

They use it as a vault.

The vial wasn't in the auction house,

so this is the only
other place it could be.

I believe I came
to the same conclusion.

- Hey, that's mine!
- Not anymore.

I received an anonymous tip

that you were looking for this vial.

- Yondu!
- I knew I needed

to obtain it before you did.

I couldn't risk having the
Golden Age tainted by doubters.

- You're gonna give that back...
- No.

I believe I will walk through
that door, and you won't stop me.

Ha! Doubt it, sister.

Your small-time brain
whammy-jammies

won't stop us from taking what's ours.

I might not be powerful enough

to mind-control
you both alone...

But together, we are.

Ebony Maw? You left the Black
Order and joined the Believers?

The Believers
actively recruit beings

with elevated mental powers.

We will be the elite
when the Golden Age arrives.

We believe they have the vial,
and should be disposed of.

Why does the world
keep goin' upside down?

No one will find you
on this abandoned moon,

so try not to struggle.

Because if you struggle,
you'll sink faster.

And we want this to go nice and slow.

For the record, I still blame you.

If I must meet my fate,

at least it shall be with a true
and honest companion by my side.

Yeah, honest. Right.

Hey. What's that doing here?

Scram! Let us sink to our doom in peace.

Wait. F'saki are strong.

Come, small warrior.

Let us put aside
our enmity and band together.

Ain't you noticed by now?

Making friends never works for us.

Being annoying, on the other hand...

Take that, you little chump.

What ya gonna do? Ow!

Thanks for the ride, chump!

Thank you, noble beast.

Your assistance was helpful this day.

Yeah, was. Now b*at it.

I am hungry. I am fatigued.

It is time we called
the others for help.

Ugh!

Fine. Quill, come in.

You there, humie?

Ugh! Must have got
quicksand in there.

I can fix it. Won't take long.

Almost done!

You have been
saying that for three days!

I am starving!

Aah! Why did I get us into this?

You have repeatedly asserted
that this is all my fault.

That's 'cause I've been lying!

You think I'm your honest
and loyal friend?

Newsflash: I ain't.

The vial don't got
anything from my mom.

It's got Thanos' sarcophagus thing.

I've been lying, so I could sell it
and pocket the units for myself.

Now the Believers could use
it to end the universe,

and it'll be all my fault!

Some Guardian I am.

Even Quill is less useless than me.

Stop. You're making me blush.

Guys! How'd you find us?

The peace and quiet was a nice change,

but on the fourth day, we
actually got a little worried.

Yeah. So we fixed the ship ourselves,
and followed one of Rocket's trackers.

I am Groot.

Deceiving me and branding
me with your visage?

I should have eaten your
carcass when I had the chance!

Go ahead. The vial's gone.

And the universe is
probably gonna go, too.

He's right. We have no idea
how to find the Believers.

Perhaps this will help.

We believe you wish to know
more about the power of the mind.

Join the Believers on our flagship,

currently at these coordinates.

Welcome, new recruits.

Thanks to technology provided
to us by our patriarch,

we are able to convert mental
energy into physical energy.

Our ship is literally powered
by positive thinking.

This is our Belief Converter.

Even those who lack
advanced psionic abilities

can power the device simply
by stating their belief.

We believe. We believe.

We believe we can open the vial.

Not again!

This is not the object we seek!

You told me I used up
the last of your duct tape!

More lies!

- Doubters!
- I believe they will be captured!

By a handful of unarmed fanatics?

I doubt that.

And that is why you will fall
to the power of belief.

att*ck!

Oh, so they can do that now.

That and much more.

I believe your w*apon will malfunction.

Aah!

I believe I can combat you.

I believe I can overpower you.

I believe you suffer from root rot!

I am Groot!

I am Groot.

I believe you cannot harm me.

Where is the sarcophagus?

- I don't know.
- I don't believe you.

That's ironic.

You are right to doubt him.

Everything from his mouth is a lie!

What just happened?

They're powered by belief!

But if they don't know
what to believe...

Then no more power.

Which means Rocket
needs to keep up the lies.

Oh, yeah. That, I can do.

Yo! I gave the sarcophagus
to the Nova Corps.

Or maybe I didn't.

But I tipped 'em off,

so they'll be here
any minute. Or not.

Either way, I rigged
your ship to explode.

Nah, I didn't. Did I?

The doubt is draining
our belief batteries.

We are powerless!

Hey! Remember when you said this ship
is powered by positive thinking?

Yeah, you might want to
believe it back into orbit.

Your pathological inability to tell
the truth actually proved useful.

Hey, you can't spell "believe"
without L-I-E.

Nine rolls of duct tape,
a month's supply of pellets,

assorted items that go boom,

but no sarcophagus.

Howdy, varmint! Soon as
I realized how taken you was

with the contents of this here vial,

I broke into the auction
house vault and grabbed it

before you or anyone else could.

Wish I could see the look on
your fuzzy face.

But I can't, 'cause I'm off

to sell this here box
to the highest bidder.

Have a nice day!

That backstabbing, furless Ravager!

What did that Believer prophecy say?

That the sarcophagus would
bring a new Golden Age?

Or destroy the universe.

We need to get to Yondu before
he does something stupid.

Gonna be rollin' in the units now.

Time to see what's under the hood.

Rocket, I have decided to forgive you

for your deceptions, since you
undoubtedly learned a lesson.

Ho-ho, I sure did, pal.

Honesty is the worst policy.

No, the lesson that
your lies have consequences.

Yeah. Great consequences.

If I wasn't such a good liar,

we'd have never got off
that Believer ship alive!

- Hah!
- I am Groot?

Holo-photos?

I didn't take any holo-photos
the other night.

I do not remember any of this.

Ah! Too much truth! Shut it off!

Rocket!