04x11 - Chapter Seventy-Five

Episode transcripts for the 2014 TV show "Jane The Virgin". Aired October 2014 - July 2019.*
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"Jane The Virgin" revolves around a devout young Latina woman, who must decide what to do after her doctor's error causes her to be artificially inseminated. Based on the Venezuelan telenova Juana La Virgen.
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04x11 - Chapter Seventy-Five

Post by bunniefuu »

OMG, friends.
We left Jane dating Rafael in secret.


See, this way they could
figure out their relationship


without all
the outside pressure.


And speaking of pressure,
Petra asked Jane


to ghostwrite
her lifestyle book.


And on the career front,

Rogelio's public feud
with River Fields


left him closer than ever
to achieving his goal.


The studio just offered
to greenlight

the American version
of Santos,

if I can get River Fields
to costar with me.

Xiomara's
career goals were less certain.


It's kinda late to start
thinking about a new career.

Rafael lost all his money

and had to bartend
at his own hotel.


So yeah, he was
pretty bummed about it.


Especially because he could
have gotten his money back

from his sister,
only she'd taken off.

And Petra could have
stopped her.

How long did you leave
my sister in an institution,

knowing she wasn't
hallucinating?

But Petra had bigger problems.

She was a person of interest
in her sister's death.


And holy hell!
Her lawyer, Jane,

a.k.a. J.R.,
was working against her.


And yes, I said, "was,"
because she changed her mind


once she thought Petra
was innocent.


Oh. And it seemed
Petra was starting


to feel something new too.

And whoa,

it may have been a dream,

but the nightmare was real.

Someone was out to screw Petra.

I know. Straight out
of a telenovela, right?


Which this is, after all.

When Jane Gloriana Villanueva

was years
and seven months old...


she started acting
a little... strange.


Jane.

Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah.

- Totally fine.
- Oh.

I was restocking,
and I accidentally

broke a few glasses.

- I'll grab the broom.
- I'll clean it.

Don't worry about it.

Abuela.
You're home early.

Why are you all sweaty?

I just went for a run.

Oh. In that?

Yeah.
It was... It was

really freeing,
to be honest.

Jane.

What are you doing
in the supply closet?

I was just looking for some,
uh, toilet paper.

To reframe
this, Jane wasn't going crazy.


I'll clean it.
Don't worry about it.

It was... It was
really freeing, to be honest.

- Jane.
- Huh?

What are you doing
in the supply closet?

So yes,
friends, as you can see,


context is everything.

Which brings us here, now.

Excuse me.
Are-are you the manager?

I certainly am, sir.

Yeah,
my steak is cold.

Well, I will take it back right
away and comp your whole meal.

And nice shirt.

I know, seems like Jane

is really loving her
job these days.


Oh!

But like I
told you, context is everything.


My last day at The Marbella.
This is so sad.

Sad. Right.

But I'm leaving you in
good hands with Regina.

Hey. What's
going on here?

We're having a party for Jane.
Since she sold her book.

- My book.
- Our book.

I mean, yes, sure,
ours, of course.

Jane's my ghostwriter.

Well, congrats
to you both.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

I missed it? Damn.

I couldn't get
away from the bar.

Why is it that when
you're in a hurry,

everybody wants
blender drinks?

It's okay. We can
celebrate privately later.

Or... how about now?

Meet you
in our usual spot?

Rafael, your break's
not for another and there's

a pack of kids out there
screaming for daiquiris.

Wow, look at
Regina, coming in hot and hard.


I have to head out, anyway.

This isn't my dream.

This is America's dream.

I mean it, Teri Hatcher.

You're perfect for the role.

Your wit, your talent,

your youthful appearance
that rivals only mine.

To remind you,

Rogelio had been offered
a chance to remake


The Passions of Santos
for an American audience.


I love you for this.

The studio loves you
for this.

To be clear:
the studio loved River Fields...


I can't even fathom
them wanting anybody else.

Who Rogelio hated.

Think it over, Teri Hatcher.
Remember,

you are my
number-one choice. Bye.

I thought your number-one
choice was

- Eva Longoria.
- Don't say it. It's too painful.

Ah, yes, Rogelio's Holy Grail.

I thought I had a way
to get in touch with her

through
my ex-hairdresser

who knows her third
assistant, but no luck.

She's so evasive.

So I'm exploring
other leading ladies,

all of whom I will passionately
pitch to the studio tomorrow

to get them off River Fields.

Because there's
no way in hell

I'm working with that
nine-toed she-devil.

Well, after what happened,
I'm sure

she's not too psyched
to work with you either.

To remind you:

att*ck her.

The point is I have
a big meeting tomorrow,

and... I was wondering
if you'd watch Baby.

Just this once.

This is such an important
meeting. Please.

Fine.

Just this once.

Thank you, Xiomara.

You're the best
woman in the world.

And with your help,
I will vanquish

the worst woman
in the world.

Oh, that's Brad.

- Huh?
- He teaches the p.m.

hip-hop class,
so we're carpooling.

Ooh, hello, Brad.

Hello, Nicollette Sheridan.

Let me just say, you are

my number-one choice
for this role.

So listen.
I've read the first chapter.

And I can't believe
I'm saying this, but...

I have no notes.

What?

I know.
It's very unlike me.

But I-I actually thought

it was quite well done.
So bravo.

This is amazing. Wow.

I guess I'll dive into
the next chapter.

Ooh, which means
I'm ahead of schedule.

And my schedule is very aggressive.

Did my daddy send you
a picture? I want to see.

Oh, no. Sorry.

I have to tell your daddy

that it is rude
to text during brunch.

When is he gonna
come back?

When he forgives Petra for lying,

keeping his sister
in a mental hospital,


and leaving him with nothing.

Soon. He's just...
very busy right now.

Mm.

Saved by the doorbell.

- Maybe that's him.
- Or not.

You're under
arrest for the m*rder

of your sister...
You have the right

to remain silent.
Anything you say

- can and will be used
- What are you doing?

against you... in the court of law.
- I don't understand, what's happening?

Jane.

- Yes?
- Yes?

Oh, you must be
the other Jane.

Other Jane.
Who's story do you think this is?


I-I'm sorry.
Who are you?

Petra's lawyer,
Jane Ramos.

A.k.a Other Jane.

You're not at all
what I pictured.

Whoever you are,
Petra Solano is ready

to be released on bail.

Oh, Petra.

Are you okay?

- Yes, I'm fine. Thank you.
- Okay.

Ah, yes, the moment

Petra had been dreaming of.

♪♪

Thank you for
bailing me out, J.R.

This is
absolutely ridiculous.

I didn't do anything.

They found
the missing screws

from the balcony
in your office.

What?

Well, someone
must have planted them.

My mother. It had to be.

I agree. And I have a call
in to the D.A.'s office.

I'm going
to get you off, Petra.

Yeah, well,
I just wanna get out of here.

The, uh, twins
just went down.

Good. Thank you.

Are you okay?
I've survived baseless

m*rder charges before.
I don't need your pity.

I was just asking.

I should take this.

Hello.

Be nice.
I was trying.

She's the one
that snapped at me.

Try harder.
She was just arrested.

It's not all about you,
Rafael.

That was my publisher.

They got wind
of the m*rder charge,

and now they're putting
a pin in my lifestyle book.

Which means it's canceled.

Remember, Jane,

it's not all about you.

- You okay?
- Of course.

It's just a book. My whole life
is not riding on it.

Right. Totally.

It's just a book.

Don't look so glum, Jane.

You may not have a book
to ghostwrite or a salary,


but at least you still have...

a dentist appointment.

Hi, Mr. Sweetface.

How are you?
Uh, good talk.

I know I don't
want to work in an office.

No, you don't.

What's going on here?

Welcome to the job fair.
We are on the hunt.

Mm. Maybe I can be
a party planner.

No way. You hated
planning your wedding.

You're right. Forget it.

You looking for a new job
too, Rogelio?

Oh, no. Not for me. But for
an incredibly lucky woman.

I'm compiling a list
of, uh, leading ladies

ranked by availability,

tolerability, and whether
their face muscles

can still show emotion.

Right. Okay, then.

Hey, you could
just go back

to your job at the Marbella.
Kick out Regina?

No way. Plus, I want
something more stimulating.

That's why ghostwriting
was exciting.

So what are you thinking?

Actually,
maybe going back

to teaching
in some capacity.

Ah, yes. The old adage:

Those who can't
ghostwrite, teach.

I could try
high schools again,

or community colleges
or online classes.

I am a published author.

Oh, and I have to get out
of the Marbella.

I know what you mean.

If I have to make
another banana daiquiri...

Then get in on the job fair.

You know what?
Okay.

Maybe I'll start
putting out some feelers.

No, don't.
Fillers are a terrible idea.

They have disqualified
half the actresses on my list.

Oh, no, no. Feelers.

Like "job feelers."

Oh. Okay, good.

But still don't do anything
to that beautiful face, ever.

Noted.
Except maybe around the eyes.

Okay. I'm off.

First step
on the teaching train.

- Why would you want to teach?
- Temporarily.

Until I get my writing
off the ground.

I started
teaching writing

temporarily too.
years ago.

Don't give me that look.

I'm fine. Instead of seeing
myself as a failed novelist,

I choose to see myself
as a successful teacher.

A-plus
reframing, Professor Donaldson.


I just need a stimulating job
to tide me over

while I work through
writer's block.

Well, if you're sure,
I actually know

they're looking for someone
to fill in at Southern Miami.

An old colleague sent an e-mail
asking for recommendations.

That's amazing.

The colleague
is Jonathan Chavez.

- Oh.
- As in...

I mean,

I'm sure he remembers you

because of all the...
You know.

The bibbidi bobbidi.

First of all, there was
no bibbidi bobbidi.

Secondly, no one has
ever called it that.

Then you should
reach out to him.

Unless things went badly
between you two?

You're crying.

No, I'm not crying.

I'm not cry...

No, it was totally cool.

Great. Then I'll get you
his new e-mail address.

Ah, yes.
How do you craft an e-mail


to the guy you almost
lost your virginity to,

but instead wound up
just losing your dignity?

Nope.

No.

Too flirty.

It's not flirty.

You're using too
many exclamation points.

You're so! Happy!
To hear!

Are you jealous of a guy I
haven't spoken to in years?

- A creepy guy.
- He's not creepy.

He wasn't my advisor
when we got together.

And I pursued him,
remember?

You're just being
overprotective,

which is sweet,
but I need to get this done,

so will you
stop distracting me?

Okay. I was just
coming to tell you

I got an interview for this
commercial real estate gig.

What? You serious?

Mm-hm. So how many
exclamation points

are appropriate in
my response e-mail?

Oh, at least .

You're so! Excited!
About! The job!

We need passion. Chemistry.

- Heat.
- And that's why we want River.

You guys were
expl*sive together.

I can assure you, I will explode
with any of the ladies

on my carefully curated list.

Any of these women
would be phenomenal

as first ladies
to my president.

Way better than River Fields.

Hm. I don't know.
I'm just not

feeling
any of these choices.

Well, that's absurd. I mean,

I have
every single Jennifer.

- Can you get any of them?
- No.

I'm just trying
to get a sense of your taste.

But keep reading.

I can get
the Desperate Housewives.

Except one.

- Alfre Woodard?
- Yeah.

She was unavailable.

Eva Longoria.

Honestly, that's
the first name I've heard

that comes even close
to River.

If you could get Eva,
we would go for it.

Speaking of going for it...

Ow! Ooh!

- Ow! Ow!
- What? What? What happened?

Ooh, I think I pulled a muscle.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No.

Don't ever apologize
for doing that.

Hey, Jane, you home?

Um...
Coming!

Not anymore.

Just stopped by
before class.

Hey.

Rafael was just, uh,
helping me

with, uh, my, um...
Drawers.

Yes, the-the dresser drawers.

Yeah. They got
all messed up,

and I had to force them
back in. Ahem.

What's up with your leg?

Oh, um...

I think I was just
overcompensating

for the leg that I broke,

and then I put pressure
on the other leg

while I was, uh...
fixing those drawers.

So here's a weird thought.

What do you think
about me going back to school?

Are you serious?

I was looking
through this catalog,

and there's so much in here

- that could be interesting.
- Ma.

That's amazing.

I'm just thinking about it.

I've never been
a school person.

Why don't you pick a class
and ask the professor

- if you can sit in?
- They do that?

Definitely.

Speaking of professors...

Oh, wow.
Chavez replied.

Oh, yeah?
What... What'd he say?

- He wants to meet tomorrow.
- That's great.

I should head to Petra's.

- Uh, Jane, thank you
- Hm?

For letting me help you
with your drawers.

See you later.

And be nice to Petra.

She's the mother
of your children, and...

People make mistakes.

So I just want us
to move past everything.

Because we are family.

Thank you.

I'm pretty rattled,
honestly.

What exactly is going on?

It's my mother.

She's framing me. Again.

Or reframing, as it were.

- Why?
- I don't know yet.

- Do you know where she is?
- No, but we're looking.

- "We're"?
- My lawyer.

You like her?

Look, it doesn't matter
if I like her.

The point is, I trust her
to get me out of this mess.

A mess, I'll
remind you, J.R. partly
created.

What happened?

I have to tell you something.

You're scaring me.

Look...

a long time ago,
when I worked for the DA,

I tampered with evidence
to get a client off.

This girl,
she sh*t her abuser.

The system's a joke.

She was gonna get
life in prison.

W-what does this
have to do with me?

A few weeks ago,
I got an e-mail.

Someone knew about it.

Said I had to even
the scales,

make sure someone guilty
and rich went to jail.

They threatened
to expose me.

The minute I realized you
didn't k*ll your sister,

I told them I wanted out.

Well, this
certainly reframes everything.


You planted the screws.

No.

I didn't do that, I swear.

It must have been
the blackmailer.

Your mother,
I can only assume.

I've never spoken
with them directly.

They leave me these burner
phones like it's .

Look,
this is everything.

Copies of all of
my correspondence.

All of the background
information

they gave me about you.

I'm sorry.

I felt trapped, and...

I couldn't find a way out.

I'm going to have you
disbarred.

Hopefully thrown in prison.

I understand.

But I do want to say:

no one will work harder to
get you out of this than me.

Get out.

A framed
narrative, you should know,


allows one
to tell multiple stories


within a larger context.

You nervous?
Want me to come with you?

Yes, I'm showing off

because we're at a college.

Think my mom being there
will make it

less awkward?
Sign up for your class.

Unless you want me
to come with you?

Think my grown-ass daughter
being there

- will make me seem less old?
- Good point.

My point
is this story's framed.


By me, of course.

Which means
you see things in pieces,

not the whole picture.

Which, I suppose,
is also true of life.

Jane. Hi.

H-hi there.

These are some
of my grad students.

Um, Ben,
Cam, Marissa.

Yeah, Jane was where
you guys are a few years ago,

and she just published
her first novel.

That's incredible.

- It's so nice to meet you.
- Wow.

Thanks.
Nice to meet you too.

So, my famous
ex-student.

Oh, stop.
One barely-selling book.

A published novel?

That is no small feat.

Thank you.

And I was really excited
to hear about the job opening.

Since I have
a connection on the inside.

- Oh, I mean...
- No. I know...

I know what you meant.

I talked to the head
of the department.... Henderson

Gave her a cheat sheet
on you,

and she's interested.

Can you lead a guest
seminar Thursday?

She'd observe,
and we'll take it from there?

As in this Thursday?
Uh, we're, uh...

we're in a bit of a bind.

Not that you're
not excellent.

Thursday sounds perfect.
Thank you so much.

My pleasure.

So, um, here's a question.

Um, do we have to disclose

that we had
a personal relationship?

To Henderson?

Like, is there
a university rule

about hiring someone
who, um...

Cried
and didn't sleep with you?


No. Uh, we're fine.
Don't worry.

But you should get to work

on your seminar.
And if you have questions,

feel free to e-mail or...

Call! Line two.

American Bar
Association.

- Hello.
- Thank you for returning

my call so quickly.

I need to report an attorney

whose gross misconduct

I believe to be grounds
for immediate disbarment.

I have proof
of everything sh...

And friends,

that's when Petra saw
the whole picture.


Let me call you back.

My mother doesn't
have a right hand.

As you can see,

the photographer's
holding the document

in their right hand,
so my mother

is not
blackmailing you.

Or she isn't acting alone.

Maybe. Except I still
can't figure out

why she'd
want me in jail.

My mother doesn't do
anything without a reason,

and I'm worthless
to her in jail.

But clearly someone's
trying to frame me,

and you're my best chance
at drawing this person out.

I'll do it.
But I don't trust you.

See my predicament?

So you're going to prove
your loyalty to me.

Since now I know
you're the kind of person

- who will break rules.
- What are you asking?

Find a way to get those screws
rendered inadmissible.

I don't care how you do it.
Just get it done.

I need someone who's willing
to do whatever it takes.


A real go-getter.
You know what I'm saying?

Selling timeshares to
the elderly... It's, uh...

It's not as easy
as you might think.

You gotta work
the funeral circuit.

You gotta schmooze it up
at the early bird buffet.

These people don't know
what to do with their money.

- But I do. Heh, heh.
- I thought you focused on...

commercial real estate.

Oh, sure, my-my partners do.

But this is
way more lucrative.

More turnover, you know?

Hey, handsome fella
like yourself...

You could make a k*lling

with the mah-jongg
ladies, huh?


Oh.

- Someone's in a good mood.
- I am.

I hope your leg
is feeling better,

'cause I'd love to get working...

on those drawers again.

Hm.

Wait. Does that mean
you got the job?

They made me an offer.

Amazing!
But I turned it down.

Wait. Why?

'Cause of this.

It's an amazing
property, undeveloped,

no tourists yet, but
it is going to explode.

My buddy Chase can
put together a group

to invest and build
a hotel.

- And you'd...?
- Manage it.

What?

Hello, anyone here?

Thought you'd be back by now

Do you mind if I borrow that
book you were telling me about?

To reframe this....

Okay, maybe not exactly
a reframe.


Just emphasizing that...

well, it's getting creepy.

Mm. Whoa.

What's that smell?

That is the glorious scent
of Eva

by Eva Longoria.

I may have oversprayed.

I'm just trying
to get inside her head

to find a connection,
any connection.

Well, good luck.

Oh, did you ask
about sitting in on a class?

Yup, and they said yes.

So I decided on

art history and...

Did Eva just say
what I think Eva said?

Are you kidding me?

I'm descended
from Benito Juárez?

President Benito Juárez?

Xo, she is descended

from th-century
Mexican president

Benito Juárez!

Yeah? And?

My mother was always
very proud to be descended

from th-century
Mexican president

Benito Juárez!

Which means...

Eva and I... are related.

We are... family!

Rogelio!

Inhala, exhala.

Oh.

Thank you.

- You didn't have to do that.
- Yeah, I did.

You were right...
I was a jerk.

It's hard for me
to not automatically flip

to the practical,
and that's so wrong.

Well, your apology present
is already being put

- to good use.
- I'm glad.

I wanted to get you a gag gift
that wouldn't waste money.

Of course you did.

I just want you to know,

I do believe in you.

Thank you.

So how's the grown-up
building project going?

Well, uh,
Chase lined up a meeting

for me to pitch some VCs.

- Ooh.
- You know what VCs are?

No.

Venture capitalists,
money guys.

I'm pitching that they give me
a finder's fee which I'd apply

to services I would render
as a project manager.

Which really means
I don't put any money in,

but I still get a small
percentage if it pans out.

Well, that sounds
downright practical.

I mean, not that it matters.

O-okay, uh,
you drop off your paperwork.

Our general contractor
is having a setback

at the construction site.

See you guys later.

Friends, let's reframe this.

Wow. So another grad student?

Yeah.

And I don't know why,
but knowing that...

It just makes
our whole thing feel...

Skeevy?

Different.

I-I mean, in my head,
I was this... transgression.

We knew it was wrong, but we had
this undeniable chemistry.

But if there's someone else,
if I'm one of many...

- It's skeevy.
- Not yet.

I mean, maybe they have the
same kind of crazy connection.

Or maybe it's his M.O.,
which would be...

Really skeevy.

- Where are you going?
- To Internet stalk him.

Find out if it's a pattern.

Now that's a pattern.

Wow. That shirt is so loud,
I can't hear myself think.

I know your favorite colors
are maroon and turquoise

because I have been studying
everything about you.

Sorry.
I'm a little nervous.

Oh. Relax.
We're family, right?

- Fifth cousins once removed.
- I don't care how removed.

Ever since I've become pregnant,
I'm all about family.

So...

I'm sorry I was so hard
to get ahold of. Water.

Amazing. Should we get
down to business?

- I've had meetings today.
- Yes. Yes, of course.

What do you think about
the project?

Go.

We like the idea
of an Americanized version of

The Passions of Santos,
but the script

needs work.
We think... That's enough.

- I'm training them.
- You are incredible.


I know.
So she's not wrong.

Taking
the most popular show

from Latin America
and importing it here?

I like the sound of that.

We can lean into the twists
and the turns,

call it an homage.
Heh, heh.

Oh. Sorry. Something
is in my eye.

Anyway, the, uh,
female character

needs to be
reconceived.

Are you open
to my story ideas?

Absolutely, of course,
anything.

Well, then, great. I'm in.

- He, he, pending a screen test.
- Screen test.

What monsters
would make someone

of your stature
take a screen test?

Should
we laugh?

No. No.

Uh, the screen test
is for you, not me.

Uh, uh, a-a scree...

a screen test
for my own show?

Rogelio, I need to make sure
you can rise up to my level.

I mean, let's face it.
I don't have much to go off of

since you're
a relative unknown.

Did she just call

her unknown relative
a relative unknown?


Don't be nervous.
You'll be great.

When this is all done,
you're gonna have your own show.

Because, let's face it,
I could fart

- and they'll greenlight it.
- Heh.

Oh. Did I fart today?

Not yet.

Okay, remind me
to do it in the car.

I heard it's good
for the baby.

This is outrageous.

What'd you find out?

According to my
Facebook sources,

Chavez hooked up with at least
four other former students.

See? I told you
he was a creep.

Go back to working
on your pitch.

It's done. I'm ready.

So, what are you thinking?

It's just weird.

I didn't feel like he took
advantage of me at the time.

I had a huge crush on him,
and I went after him.

But knowing that he slept

with all these other grad
students... It just...

reframes everything.

You should report him.

For what?

He's not Marissa's
advisor. I checked.

And there's no clear
university policy.

Well, there should be.

I mean, those are some
intense power dynamics.

We dated, and
I was your employee.

You were accidentally
inseminated with my child.

So was I the only
employee you ever dated?

No.

Not in my life.

When I worked for my dad,

I mean,
I-I took advantage of that.

But I'm
a different person now.

I know.

So...
what are you gonna do?

I'm not sure.

What do you think?

The backpack's overkill,
right?

Ma, no, you look great.
Don't be nervous.

I just don't want the other
students to make fun of me.

These are college kids,
not eighth grade bullies.

They'll be busy texting
and watching TV.

Ow!

That weird drawer injury
still bothering you?

Yup. Heh.

- Is that Marissa?
- Yeah.

What did you decide?

Are you gonna
say anything to her?

I don't know. Maybe
it's not my place.

Or it's...
uniquely my place.

I guess the question is,

would you have wanted to know
when it was you?

Ah, friends, what a moment.

Our Jane, once a student
of creative writing,

now teaching it.

Makes you think.

Ooh, let's drop in
on this bit!

Notice how the narrator
functions here.

Riveting, Professor Jane!

And it's precisely because
the narrator doesn't comment

on every moment that the
storytelling is so effective.

Fine. I can take a hint.

The narrative distance
allows for

the story to unfold
naturally,

making the
reader accept

these magical realism elements
without question.

Take, for example,
the man's wings.

Márquez describes
the man

as very old and...

in the mud before
casually telling us

that he couldn't
get up, uh,

"impeded by his
enormous wings."

Let's discuss

this introduction
to magical realism.

- Yeah.
- Honestly, I think

that line sets the tone
for the whole story.

Of course, I'd want to know

if Chavez slept
with students before me.

I thought I was special.

He was gonna be my first.

So yes, this moment
changes our perception.

And perception,
of course, is crucial

to pointillism.
And interestingly,

there is a scientific
tie-in here, uh, an antagonism

that occurs in the brain,
used to detect color.

To that I say,
que Seurat, Seurat.

So chromoluminarism

evolved into pointillism.

And what would you say
evolved from there?

You.

You've been quiet.

- Any ideas?
- Uh...

no.
I'm... I'm just auditing.

That's okay. You are
still encouraged to participate.

Any contemporary styles
spring to mind?

I know this isn't
your idea of fun,

but lack of chemistry
with a costar

can sink a project, so...

want to make sure we
make sense on screen.

I have no doubt we will,
sweet Eva.

After all, it runs in the family,

since my cousin
thrice removed

courted your fourth
cousin, Griselda.

Boy, that is distant.

Wh... Did you
just say Criselda?

- Yes.
- Or Griselda?

What?

Did you say Criselda
or Griselda?

Cruh or Gruh?
Gruh. Griselda.

'Cause... my fourth cousin
is a cruh, not a gruh.

Griselda's my great aunt.

Wait, I have a great aunt
named Griselda.

Oh. No.

She's my grandmother's sister.

Wait, that doesn't...
That doesn't make us fifth cousins.

That makes us
"cousin" cousins.

Well, it's fine.

Now that I think about it,
you do look like my Uncle Beto.

Okay. Let's test

this chemistry.
Um...

Let's see kissing cousins.

Whenever you're ready.

Yup.

Of course you look like
my husband, the president,

but how can you be if you
don't have any of his memories?

I don't know.
All I know

is that I want to devour you.

I suppose there is one way

we can find out
if you're really him.

K-kiss me.

Mm. Okay.
Come on.

We need to show them
our unmistakable

and searing chemistry.
Mm-hm, mm-hm. Mm.

No! Oh. No.

Honestly, I'd rather

watch my parents screw.

The screws are out.

I got the judge to rule
them inadmissible.

Wh... How?

Chain of custody
issue.

The cop left them in
his cruiser,

instead of logging them
into evidence right away.

Which means it's compromised.

Did that happen?
Is that true?

It appears that it is.

I told you,

I'm going to get
you out of this.

Good.

'Cause if you don't,
your career is over.

So that's it for me.

Uh, thank you so much for
listening and participating.

Thank you.

Hey, Marissa,
do you have a minute?

Ooh.

Uh, I just wondered
if we could...

talk sometime, one on one.

About what?

Look, the sexual dynamic

between a student
and a professor

is a complicated thing.

It can be really thrilling,
uh, in my experience...

Look,
all I said was

that it was cool
you published a book.

It didn't mean
that I'm, like, into you.

What?
First,

you stared at me
through the lecture,

and now you're straight-up
hitting on me.

Oh, no. Marissa,
that was... Aah!

What Marissa said
is technically true,

but there is very
important context missing.

My leg cramped,
and I accidentally

grabbed her... breasts.

While talking about
sexual dynamics

between professors
and students?

I agree. That discussion
was inappropriate.

In fact...

that sort
of relationship

is inappropriate...
Even though it

is not technically
off-limits here.

Though, for the record,
I think it should be.

Because it involves
very tricky power dynamics.

And even if a student
thinks she wants something,

she might really
regret it later

when she's older
and smarter

and has more information about
how that's a pretty gross abuse

of power, especially
if it's a pattern.

So no, I didn't get

the teaching job.

But at least I got
to say my piece.

How was your class?

You know, fine.

Intense.

- I'll be right back.
- Marissa.

First, let me say again
how sorry I am.

I definitely
didn't mean to do...

what I did.

I was just trying
to warn you about Chavez.

I saw you kissing him
the other day, and...

and I don't know,
the same thing happened to me

when I was his student.
And I've since learned

that this is
a pattern of his.

And I wish I had known

back when I was
involved with him,

so I just wanted to pass
that information on to you.

Just so you have it.

Sisterhood and all.

It's not like she's my sister.

Cousins are sexy
in Florida,

but Eva made such a stink.

I'm sorry, Rogelio.

Are you okay?

No.

School sucked.

I-I just didn't fit in.

I felt like an old lady.

A dumb old lady.

What's with
the suitcase?

I have to fly to
New York tomorrow

and beg River Fields
to meet with me.

Oh.
And...

I wanted to ask you
if-if you could

watch Baby for me
while I'm gone.

- Why can't Darci do it?
- She's going away.

And if I ask her
to reschedule,

she'll make
an Eva Longoria-style stink

on how I'm going back on
my promise to be Baby's danny.

Which I'm not.

Yet.

Okay, forget it.
I just thought,

since you're not
doing anything...

That's right.
I'm not.

I'm just trying
to figure out my life,

which you would have noticed
if you paid attention,

instead of just thinking
about yourself!

I have a dance class to teach.

What's wrong?

Chase cut me out
of the deal.

What?

I thought he
was your friend.

Yeah, well, I guess not.

And I didn't
protect myself legally,

so the VCs took advantage.

I am so sorry.

Yeah.

But you know what?
I'm actually okay.

It's funny.

I'm even still
a little... excited.

So I put together
a deal, right?

Which I haven't done
since I found the Marbella.

And I remembered
I'm actually good

at spotting properties
and seeing potential.

So this one didn't work out,

but maybe the next one will.

Wow. Yes, exactly.

- I know, right?
- Yeah.

I don't know. For the first
time in a long time,

I actually feel like
I have a plan.

I'm really happy
for you, Raf.

- Hey.
- Hm.

What's going on?

It's nothing.

You're inspired.
That's so great.

And everything's
not about me.

Come on, Jane.

Like I said earlier,
we know whose story this is.

Are you upset 'cause
you didn't get the teaching job?

No.

I'm upset because
I'm relieved I didn't get it,

because I don't want
to be a teacher.

Or a lounge manager.

You're a writer.

You published a book.

I know.

And that was a goal
of mine for so long,

you know, this-this
thing I can work towards.

And after I got there,

I imagined that my
life would change

because I would be
this... big success.

But it didn't.

Hey.

Oh.

So first, I've been lost
most of the time I've known you.

So... you are allowed
to take a minute.

Thank you.

And you will find a path.

And friends, at that moment,

she did.

You're the only thing
I'm really sure about.

Yeah?

Yeah.

And I... I think it's real,

and it's right, and we
should tell our family

that we're together.

That's right. No more secrets.

At least not for that Jane.

Actually,
let me reframe this for you.

Good. Now tell them you
want to meet in person.

That
definitely ain't her dance class.


And to reframe
this moment, friends:

Xo's decision
to walk through that door

would change her life
forever.
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