04x16 - Chapter Eighty

[bunniefuu]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Hello.
You'll recall Jane and Rafael

finally said
the four-letter word. I love you.

And guess who Rafael
didn't love?

This guy.

I thought you focused on

commercial real estate.

Sure. My-my partners do.

So he decided to bet on himself

and find a property to develop.

Unfortunately...

Chase cut me out
of the deal.
What?

And speaking of being
double-crossed,

Petra's lawyer, J.R.,

was working against her
for a while,

but then J.R. came clean
and confessed everything.

The minute I realized you
didn't k*ll your sister,

I told them I wanted out.

And then this happened.

So, yeah, things are
getting real between Petra

and her lawyer-slash-lover.

But alas, it looks like Petra

may need her lover to be her
slash-lawyer again, after all.

I saw the whole thing.

Petra k*lled Anezka
in cold blood.

I know! Straight out
of a telenovela,

which reminds me,
Rogelio's American adaptation

ofThe Passions of Santos
was moving forward,

and the fabulous River Fields
agreed to be his costar,

even after this happened.

My eyebrows.

And Xiomara, well,

she faced
her breast cancer diagnosis

with courage and grace.

And she was healing
from her mastectomy.

So all in all,
things are looking up.

So let's dive in.

When Jane Villanueva
was years old,

she decided to move in with
her boyfriend, Rafael Solano.

And, friends, it was romantic
and exciting and...

Expensive. Wow.

A one bedroom
in this school district

doesn't come cheap,
so we're going to have

to make some lifestyle changes.

I'm in.

I can live off of love.

Love and... mm!

This is what we'll need.

First and last month's rent
plus security deposit.

Okay. Wow.
Yeah.

All right. Well,
let's start saving.

Ramen for dinner?

Sounds good to me.

And, friends, save they did.

And little by little,
they were pushing that line.

Who needs CrossFit?

Which brings us here, now.

I worked five extra
shifts this week.

You worked four.

I subtracted money
for our weekly bills

plus Mateo's new
karate session,

and I factored in the prepaid
rent on this apartment

plus a pair of cufflinks I
sold that brought in $ .

I know this is
normally your thing,

but I happen to excel
at budget worksheets.

Really?

Nothing?
I just made a spreadsheet joke.

I thought you'd be
all over that.

Sorry. I'm just
so in the zone.

Well, you are gonna have
to hit pause for a second

to take this in.

We saved enough for
first and last month's rent

on the one bedroom upstairs.

Oh, my God!

Are you... oh.

Yay! We saved enough.

We did, and we have
an extra $ .

Nice!

So, can you take a break
for an open house in an hour

so we can stake
our claim?

Oh. Oh! Stake a claim!

Yes! Yes, yes!

That's actually the expression
I've been looking for.

[chuckles]

Sorry. It's like this faucet
turned on in my brain,

and now I can't turn it off.

I'm happy your writing
is going so well.

[scoffs]
Better than well.

I'm finally on a roll.

Okay. This place was worth
taking a break for.

Right? Feels massive
compared to my studio.

Ah. Couch over here.
Nice play area for Mateo.

And your desk
can go right here,

by the window.

I can already see it.

Mwah.

[chuckles]

Sound it out, buddy.

[chuckles]

Ready for school!

JANE:
Who wants some eggs?

[laughs]

RAFAEL:
So what do you think?

I think we need
a dining room table.

So you want this place?I so want this place.

And a dining room table.

I think we should take the $
and go to the flea market.

Hmm?
Hmm.

Now, come on. Selfie for my mom.

Mm-hmm.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow. Somebody's feeling better.

How was your run?

Three miles.
No pain at all.

I feel strong.
Ready for chemo.

I've got this.

You've so got this.

And you have the
right mind-set,

the power of
positive thinking.

Exactly. I can see myself
crossing the finish line,

which is why I've decided
to do those cold caps.

Are you sure?

The doctor said the
caps can be painful.

I can handle it.

And I'll feel so much better
if I finish chemo with my hair.

Get on with my life after,
leave cancer behind me.

So, are you up for being
my cold cap coach?

Try saying that
three times fast.

You have to do
some training.

They're apparently tricky
to put on.

Of course. I'll be your
cold cap commando,

your follicle friend,

your hair helper.

[chuckles]

Thanks. Now go get ready
for your meeting.

You can't be late.

So sorry I am late.

[angelic choir singing,
bells chiming]

Wow. Your eyebrows look even
thicker and more magnificent.

How is that possible?

RIVER:
The very best

international team of eyebrow
transplant specialists.

Shall we dive right in?

I called this meeting

to talk about the script,
since I have final approval.

Right now there is way too much
crazy stuff happening.

It's hard to know
what to pay attention to.

What?

You have one
very long eyebrow hair.

Oh.

[blows]

Ah, yes. Right.

Side effect
of a new brow cream.

My point is there's
too much crazy stuff

going on in this show.

So, in the next draft,
we need to really ground it.

I love grounding.
I'm all for grounding.

Let's ground it
into the ground.

But what does that mean?

Like practically, in
terms of the script.

I was thinking, what if the maid

isn't actually
his long-lost mother?

What if she's...

...simply the maid?

Oh, that's nice.
I love that.

Oh, so grounded.
[laughs]

Great.

And in act five,

when Steve hits his head exiting
Air Force One after coming home

from visiting the troops

and gets amnesia,
let's lose it.

The-the airplane ride
or visiting the troops?

The amnesia.

Oh, River, please.

That is a key plot twist,
a classic telenovela trope.

I have to say,
I agree with River.

I do, too.

What a surprise.

Okay. No amnesia.

Perfect.
I've already forgotten it.

Now, let's talk wardrobe.

ELLIE: Are you wearing Mommy's blouse?

I'd call that
a camisole.

Oh, there you are.

Okay, girls, go
put your shoes on.

Quick lawyer moment.

I got an e-mail from the D.A.
this morning.

He wants to meet
about the case on Thursday.

I think this means

they are officially dropping
the charges against you.

[sighs]:
Oh. Finally.

Surprised it took them this long

to realize my mother is the
world's most unreliable witness.

[romantic music playing]

Dinner and drinks downtown
to celebrate tonight?

Mm. It would have to be late.

I'm crazed with work
and the nanny canceled.

Unless you could pick the
girls up after karate.

[romantic music distorts, fades]

Sorry. I-I didn't mean
to overstep.

I just think we should
keep boundaries

in the kid department.
For now.

Absolutely. Understood.

Forget I mentioned karate.MATEO: Hi-ya!

Hey! What did we
say about karate?

Stays in the dojo.

That's right.

You keep your hands to yourself.

Who are you texting?

No one. Sorry.

I was just putting down
some ideas

for a new piece I'm writing.

Your next book?

Ugh. Let's not jinx it.

Everything okay?

Yeah, sorry.
That was, uh, Chase.

As in the guy who cut you
out of the real estate deal

that you put together?

Well, now he wants
to cut me back in.

What? Out of the blue?

Uh, Mateo, slow down!

Yeah, well,
he needs to buy a couple

of the surrounding lots.

And there's a holdout,
guy named Harold.

My dad's friend.
Known him for years.

Chase thinks maybe
I can persuade him to sell,

and if I can,
he would let me back in

because I'd have something
"real" to offer.

Huh. Let's make this
a practice run. Hmm?

This is where we'd discuss
important things,

like whether or not
you should go into business

with a guy you can't trust.

Well, I guess
I know how you feel.

No. Come on.
Let's pro and con it.

Pro: this is a way
into a big opportunity

and with no capital.

I don't have a lot
to offer otherwise.Mm-hmm.

And con...[glass shatters]

Aah!LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Uh-oh.

That definitely
sounded like a con.

MAN:
You break it,

you buy it.

Of course.
We are so sorry.

How much is it?

, .Dollars?!

How would you like to pay?

Ay. Looks like Mateo
broke the clock and the bank.

You will sit there,
Mateo, and not move.

And that money is coming out of
your piggy bank. You understand?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: That
better be a huge-ass piggy.

So much for the apartment.

Got any more
expensive cufflinks?

I'm totally out of cufflinks.[chuckles]

Hmm, I could always
call that guy.

He's the one that offered me
a job selling time-shares.

Maybe I should
just do it.

No way. That is not your dream.
That is your anti-dream.

We'll figure it out,
somehow.

Come on.

RAFAEL: It's a short-term
solution, but it could work.

If Rafael sublets
his apartment

over spring break
and over the summer,

we can make back
the money we lost

and move into a new place
before the school year.

[chuckles]
Ma, that's too much food.

So, do you guys want
to stay in our guest room?

Thank you, but I think
you need your peace and quiet.

But if Raf moves
back here for a bit,

we can afford
the one bedroom by fall,

and most importantly, our
whole family can stay together.

Oh.

Sorry, River had
a few more script notes.

Turns out she hates
dramatic entrances.

No problem.
You're back.

Let's toast.

To Jane and Raf's
future apartment.

No way, Ma. Tonight,
we are toasting you.

To the strongest,
bravest person I know.

You nervous, my love?

A little. You?

That cold cap training
was intense.

What's a cold cap?

[shivering]

Is it too tight?

No. It's just so cold.

It's like a slushie brain freeze
minus the slushie.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Sounds like a poop sandwich

minus the bread.

Remember, Xiomara,
think positive.

Right. I've got this.

WOMAN:
Don't overthink it.

Just like
swaddling a baby.

[sighs]
That's very helpful.

I happen to be
an expert swaddler.

Thank you, baby.

You're welcome...
baby.

Another pro tip:

There's a freezer in the back.

Keep your caps there instead
of lugging that cooler around.

Don't worry.

I'll make sure she doesn't
run off with another man.

Thank you.

He'll get the hang of it.

My husband used to
put it on so lopsided,

I looked like the love child
of LL Cool J and Davy Crockett.

[both laugh]

I'm Donna.

Xiomara.

Do you have any friends
with the C-word, Xiomara?

Uh...
Cancer.

Oh. No.

Oh.

Well... you do now.

JANE: Mom said that
her first session was okay.

She made a friend.Of course she did.

Hey, Abuela.

[laughs]

Oh, oh. You're serious?

But you know that we have sex.

You know, I actually love
staying in Mateo's room.

It's only three weeks.
She's doing us a favor.

But what about the summer?
No sex, no...

Going down?

I've never been so happy to have
my head at room temperature.

[chuckles]

I'm sorry.
It's just that you're...

Rogelio de la Vega!
It is I, yes.

Oh. [stutters]

Hmm?

So talk to River.

She is the one
who requested the changes.

So try again. Come on.

Remember the power
of positive thinking?

JANE: Maybe I'm being
overly optimistic,

but I really think
this could be my next book.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Now who's jinxing it?

That's amazing.
And Chase offered

to pay for a lawyer
to draw up a contract.

Protecting me from him.

Wow. Okay. Now we're talking.Right?

Mmm.

Look at us.

My book, your hotel.

Our dreams are kind of
within reach, huh?

Okay so now we're just
jinxing things left and right?

You know what else is
working out perfectly?

Seriously, stop tempting fate.

My grandma's out.

[giggling]

[screams]

[Jane screaming] I told you. Geez!

The coast is clear.
Abuela took Mateo to church.

[sighs]:
Oh.

So...

What went down after
your grandmother saw my junk?

Oh, nothing too crazy.

I'm an adult!
Adults have sex.

[disgusted grunts]

No more sex in the house
is the bottom line.

We'll have to sneak around
like teenagers.

Not that I ever had sex
when I was a teenager.

We still have all our spots
at the Marbella.

Eyes on the prize.Eyes on the prize.

How'd it go with Chase?

H-He said all the right things.

And it's real, Jane.

I mean, if the city
approves the plans,

then I'll start getting paid,
like, really paid,

when we break ground,
which is in three months.

Really paid as in...?

Maybe even a two bedroom.

Ooh! Look at us.

Moving on up
before we've even moved out.

What's wrong?

The guy is such a douche bag.

I mean, do I really want to go
into business with him?

Long-term?

I don't know.

What do you mean?
You always have an opinion.

It's a hard call, and I haven't
even seen the property.

ROGELIO:
Your opinion is so important.

Which is why I've been saying
yes to all of the changes.

But things have
gone too far.

While you know more
about American television,

I am an expert in telenovelas.

So I must take a stand
for the form.

Is this about the lavender?
Fine.

A purple tie for
the inauguration scene. Happy?

It's not about the lavender.
Or not only about the lavender.

It's about everything.

The maid has to be his mother.

And I have to have amnesia.

And the Oval Office
has to be a heart

because we're co-presidents,
and two ovals form a heart.

It's cheesy!

It's romantic.

And romance is what
novelas are about.

A p*rn of emotions.

This can't just be an ordinary
American soap opera.

I am starring in it,

which means that it is
the opposite of ordinary.

Then you leave me
no choice.

I own the rights to The Passions of Santos,

so if you can't
respect my vision,

I will take
the rights elsewhere.

Well played, Rogelio.

I underestimated you.

Thank you. Most people do.

I will call the studio,

and I will tell them
to restore the script

to your original vision.

RAFAEL:
Try to envision it.

And don't look at the graffiti,
or the trash,

or... whatever that is.

[laughs] So where
should I look?

Start here.

We'd go clean
and modern.

rooms, all with
a private balcony.

Saltwater pool.

Cabanas. Outdoor bar.

A spa?

With glass walls

on one side looking
out over the water.

[sighs] Can you see it?

I can see it.

You know what else I see?

How excited you are.

You have to do this.

Just protect yourself.

Make sure you have
a good lawyer.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Speaking of...

The D.A. is not dropping
the charges against you.

What?

It's ridiculous, but apparently
your mother's story checks out.

She told investigators

that Anezka was watching
Game of Thrones,

and even told them where
the episode was paused.

That could be a lucky guess.

Or my sister texted her,

or my mother got her hands
on that police report.

I would've seen her.
J.R., she's lying.

Trust me, no one else was
in the room where it happened.

The room where it happened?

The room where
it happened, right.

But your mother said
she was in the bathroom.

Well, she's lying.

And we will prove that.

And then I will get this case
dismissed with prejudice.

I'm good at my job.
I will catch her in a lie.

XIOMARA:
You're gonna get us arrested.

[laughs]Put those things away!

Oh, please.

It's part of the sisterhood.

Come on. Just feel 'em.

Whoa.

Just the right balance
of perky and supple.

[smacks lips]
I'll take one of those![both laughing]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Now that's what I call
ordering off the menu.

Why is it so hot?Ah, it's the radiation.

We call it "the hot toddy."

[both laughing]

Ah. I never thought

someone would make me laugh
this much about cancer.

Well, you know, it helps
that I'm high as a kite.

[laughing quietly]Really? Weed?

Takes the edge off the
cold caps, trust me.

And you got to do what
you can to feel good.

Because it does get harder.

Yeah. I'm just trying
to stay positive.

I want to cross
that finish line.

I know.

JANE:
I so know.

The hotel's
gonna be great.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And
speaking of crossing a line...

Hey! Mateo!

Don't you ever lay a hand
on my son again!

I can't believe you would
ever hit Mateo.

I don't care what he was doing!

Okay, okay,
you need to calm down

and watch your tone.

And we talked about this.

Hold on, wait. This
has happened before?

Once. I told her not to do it.

Then you should have told me.
We are not a hitting family.

We also do not yell
at my abuela.

This is her house, so you need
to show her some respect.

[sighs]

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean
to raise my voice at you.

Just promise me
that will never happen again.

Excuse me?Abuela!

You cannot spank my son.

Understand?

My house, my rules.

Understand?

Then I'm not
staying here anymore.

JANE:
And then Abuela said

good riddance,
and he left,

and the whole thing
is just such a mess, Mom.

Aw, hon. They probably just
need time to cool off.

I hope so.

Man, I'm gonna need to cool off
if I keep walking with you.

Chemo hasn't slowed
you down at all.

I know, right?
I really do feel good.

Just give everyone time.
It will get better.

It's gotten so much worse.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I'll say.

Abuela claims that
she's forgiven Raf,

but the way that
she glares at him,

ugh, I wouldn't want to come
over to the house either.

So he doesn't.

Are you sure
you're okay?

I can get to the bench.
Keep talking.

Well, between
his real estate project,

our different shifts at work,
and my writing schedule,

we're like ships in the night.

He's only a month away
from breaking ground

on the hotel
though, right?

Yeah, which means we're
a month away from a payday.

[chuckles][groans softly]

Are you sure
we shouldn't stop?

I can get to the bench.

That's the finish line.

Ugh, poor Xo.

It's so hard to
see her like this.

You and Raf need to carve out
some alone time.

Oh, we have a hot date planned,
at the Marbella storage closet.

Capped off with
fried fish sticks,

free from
the kids' buffet.

Okay, we're at the bench. Sit.

You know what,
while Xo catches her breath,

why don't I catch you up
on Jane and Raf's finances?

Okay, in the last nine weeks,

Jane and Rafael have saved
enough money to...

pay off the freaking clock.

So, in other words, they're...

back to square one.

I'm ready.

[groans softly]

Talk to me
about your writing.

It's going well.
I can't wait for you to read it.

Oh, me, too.

As soon as I don't have
chemo brain.

The only thing worse
than chemo brain?

Chemo brain freeze.

I wish there was more
that I could do for you.

Distract me. Keep talking.

So, the sets are done?

Yes. Uh, I am meeting
the production designer

later today to see them.

How have you been feeling
this week, Xiomara?

Well, uh... tired, nauseous.

Uh, but I-I know it'll pass.

You have a great attitude.

Donna's late today.

She's gonna love
the fake eyelashes I bought her.

Yeah.
[chuckles]

What?

Donna had
an unexpected recurrence

with complications.

She...

passed away three days ago.

What? I don't understand.

It happened suddenly.

Things progressed quickly.

I am so sorry.

She wanted me

to give you
her pot brownies.

Xiomara...

No. I'll be okay.

[sniffles]

It's just the cold cap.

PETRA:
I just feel so helpless.

The thought of you meeting
my mother without me?

Baby, come on.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ooh. We're up to "baby" now.

You've already prepared me
for what I can expect.

The hook, the eye.

The absolute hatred for me.

Look, she may be
a good liar,

but I'm a better lawyer.
I'll catch her.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which brings us here... now.

And why were you in the
bathroom for minutes?

IBS. You know
what that is?

I do.
expl*sive diarrhea.

Okay, so you went
to the bathroom.
Mm-hmm.

And then?I was about to leave,

but I heard all this yelling,
so I pushed open the door.

Uh, sorry.
I missed that last point.

I pushed open the door,

and I saw Petra
standing by front door.

And then Anezka,
she say something,

but I could not hear what it was
because the toilet was running.

But Petra, she turned,

and she charged her sister,

and she shoved Anezka
over the balcony!

Voomp!

Then Petra's heel broke.

Wait. Petra's heel broke?

That wasn't in your original
statement to the police.

I must have forgot.

Are we done here?
I'm getting hungry.

[phone chimes]

[phone chimes]

WOMAN: You're gonna love
what we've built here,

Mr. De La Vega.

And voila!

But...

this is just a regular
oval Oval Office.

River approved it.

It looks like
a double-breasted

poop emoji!

River approved it.

Oh, my God, they
cut the amnesia!

I'm guessing River approved it?

What the hell are you doing?!

I need to apply
this extremely rare cream

to my eyebrows,
or the transplant won't take.

I don't believe you.Oh, it's true.

I had it shipped
directly from Paris.

I'm not talking
about your overrated bushes,

you diabolical diva!

I'm talking about
all of the changes

we agreed to-- the sets,
the costumes, the script!

The executives and I decided
to go in a different direction.

You can't.
Iown the rights.

To the telenovela,
but these past two months,

I have secured
the underlying rights...

to the short story
the telenovela was based on,

which means that I can do
this show any way I want.

[gasps]

Oh, please.
Don't be so dramatic.

If you knew anything
about telenovelas,

you'd know that everything
is supposed to be dramatic!

[door slams]

That hateful hen set me up.
You know what we have to do?

Pack up your dressing room?Get revenge.

Have you ever
k*lled anyone, Rudy?

Kidding.

But you haven't, though, right?[ringtone playing]

I need to take this. Go.

Alba called.

You weren't home,
so she was worried.

We came here every week.

And now...

[sighs]

I'm sorry.

I'm trying to be
positive for you.

For me?

I don't need that.

I just mean...

it makes you feel better,
which makes me feel better,

because I hate
when you so worry so much.

But with Donna...

I didn't have to do anything
or be anything.

She just got it.

That makes sense.

But no, you don't have
to worry about me.

I need you here.

Positive, negative.

Whatever you're feeling.

But what if that's not possible?

I'm sorry.

[voice breaking]: I know
that's an awful thing to say,

but Donna was here,
and now she's gone, and...

that could be me.

That's not going to happen.

But it could.
It could happen.

I think
it's just hitting me

that... there is no finish line.

I thought once chemo was over,

I'd put it in the rearview
mirror and leave it behind,

but it doesn't work like that.

Donna was fine.

For five years, she was fine,
and now she's not here anymore,

and that just sucks.

It does.

So, I am gonna quit
those stupid cold caps.

If I lose my hair, so what?

They hurt too damn much,
and every day is hard enough.

[sighs]

Thank God.

It was t*rture
just watching you.

[dish clinks in distance]

Abuela, why can't you let it go?

This whole thing
with Rafael.

You're not. You're
still being cold,

so he doesn't want
to come over,

which means I hardly
get to see him.

I mean, we're falling asleep
FaceTiming each other.

No. Why are you still so mad?

Too old?

You're a long way
away from that.

No.

Abuela.

I know, Abuela. Shh, shh, shh.

It's okay.

[sighs]

Yeah, I think we'll be okay.
Caught your mother in a lie.

She said she pushed
the bathroom door open.

The door pulls in.

It's enough to discredit
someone like her, someone...

who's lied before.

Well, that's great news.

So what's wrong?

She said something else.

Something I can't
stop thinking about.

Oh, I'm so sorry.
Did she give you details

about her bowel movements?
Look, it's a whole thing.

About what happened that night.
In the room.

She said Anezka

said something,

and then you charged at her
and your heel broke.

What? That's ridiculous.

And I checked
the crime scene photos.

There was an unexplained nick
in the floor,

right where she said.

Are you saying you believe her?

I'm saying...

I'm confused.

She's a convicted m*rder*r

who's conspired to k*ll me
on multiple occasions.

I know, but...But what?

[scoffs]

She got in your head.

I knew it.
I knew she would.

She didn't.

She did.

What? So, what now?

Do you want to examine the shoes
I was wearing that day?

Go ahead, take a look.

If I k*lled my sister
and the heel broke,

wouldn't I have
thrown them away?

I'm sorry. I just...

Get out.Petra...

Look, you don't have to be part
of my kids' carpool routine,

okay, but I do need
my girlfriend to trust me!

That's not fair.You know what's not fair?

That I'm in this situation
in the first place,

and you know that!

Please, just go.

RAFAEL: Hello? Anyone home?Oh, in here.

Oh, sorry.

No, it's okay. Come in.

No. I shouldn't have
yelled at you.

I know that...

Me, too.

Aw.

Can I get out of your bed now?
This is a little weird.

[sighs] So, now things
can go back to normal.

You can move in
for the summer.

Yeah. Jane?

Mm-hmm?

I don't think I want to move
back in with your grandma.

And it's not because
I don't love her.

You know that I do.

It's okay. I get it.

I just miss you.
We never see each other.

But it's just
another month, right?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And then...

That's the other thing
that I need to tell you.

Oh, no.

Chase just called.

I guess the city permits

are taking longer than expected.

How much longer?

Could be as little
as six months,

or as much as a year.

Oh. Wow.

[laughs]

Well, that's okay.

We'll just hang in there.

I don't even know
if it's worth it.

Of course it's worth it.

Go back to the lot.
Remember your dream.

[chuckles]

Now go, because this is
my designated writing time.

Okay, got it.
[laughing]

Leaving now.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And so, friends,

Rafael went
to remember his dream.

[doorbell rings]

[TV turns off]

I'm looking for Rogelio.
Is he here?

River Fields.

It's you.
Hi, there.

Wow. Hi.

You must be Xo.
Nice to meet you.

Now, where the hell

is your delusional
has-been of a husband?

He-He's not home.

What's wrong?

Y-You seem angry.

Beautiful and tall

and so angry.

He leaked a blind item
to the press

about me being a diva!

Oh, food.

I need food right
this minute. Oh.

Wait, no!
Mm-mm.

Oh.

[mouth full]:
I'm okay. I'm fine.

I stress eat.

Where is he? Where's Rogelio?
I'm gonna track him down.

Yeah, you're not going anywhere.

You just ate a pot brownie,
and trust me,

they're really, really strong.

What?Give me your car keys.

Might as well
make yourself comfy.

I'm actually watching
a telenovela.

Amor de dos Caras. Have you seen it?

I've actually never seen
a telenovela.

What?

And you're adapting one?
Girl, sit your ass down.

I'll turn on
the subtitles.

[sighs]

Okay. All you need to know
is that Marisa and Vera

are twin sisters.

Marisa m*rder*d
Juan Miguel

and is posing as Vera,
who is secretly dating Hector.

Oh, and Hector
might go to jail.

I came clean to the D.A.

What do you mean?

I told them what I did.

How I was blackmailed

into working against you,
but then changed my mind.

What?

And in light of these
mitigating circumstances,

the D.A. doesn't have
a case against you.

And it was dismissed
with prejudice.

[cork pops]

[fanfare plays]

What about you?

I'll be disbarred.

You did that for me?

It wasn't for you.
It was for me.

I've been marching towards
this day for a long time.

When my past would...
catch up with me.

And I just kept
pushing the line.

But I can't anymore.

I can't bring
an innocent person--

you--

down with me.

I'm just... overwhelmed.

I know.

I'm sorry I
didn't trust you.

But it's over.

It's really over.

RIVER:
She seems so conflicted.

Well, Paloma's
always playing an angle.

Last week, she seduced
Eduardo's therapist

to get her to suggest
he change his will.

OMG, no, shut up.

[sighs] I think I'm beginning
to feel this brownie.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
You think?

Shh! Here comes the main couple.

Okay, what's going on?
Where are you taking me?

I went back to the lot
like you said.

Mm-hmm.And I realized something.

The most important piece
of real estate in my future

isn't some big hotel.

It's a one bedroom apartment
with you.

That's my dream.

[exhales]

Which is why...

[gasps]

You took that real estate job?

It's a full-time
position with a salary

and good health insurance, which
means I can support us both.

But...I've already done the math.

Okay? You can go down to
one or two shifts a week

so you can really
focus on your writing.

You are on a roll, Jane.

Let's bet on
your dream now.

Mine will come.

Oh, that is
hella romantic.

What'd I tell you?

Oh, and Elena deserves
that kind of happiness.

Right?

Mm.
[exhales]

Mm, here's the big,
sweeping kiss.

♪

Aw!

[door closes]

[gasps]

What are you doing here?

Oh, Rogelio, I love
telenovelas so much.

What?They're everything.

They surprise you
and move you

and make you feel alive.

So, let's do Steve and Brenda
your way.

Really?

Shh, it's not over yet.[ominous music playing]

Huh. How can they move past
that epic kiss?

Oh, the scary music means
they're getting ready

for the classic Friday
night cliffhanger.

[ringtone playing]

It might be my new boss.

Hello?MAN: Do you accept a call

from the Miami-Dade Federal
Women's Correctional Facility?

Yes.

I have some
important information for you.

Look, I don't care what
you know about my parents.

I already told you, I'm not
giving you Luisa's location.

Rafael, trust me.

What I know is
going to change your life.

Forever.

[all gasp]

Now... now we have to wait
to find out what happens?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
You do, River Fields.

That's why it's known

as a classic
Friday night cliffhanger.