05x05 - Chapter Eighty-Six

[bunniefuu]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: All righty,
you'll recall Jane was in love

with her baby daddy Rafael

and they even moved in together.

And while Jane was moving out,

Alba's pretend husband
Jorge was moving in.

So, yes, the Villanuevas
were making strides.

But then, Jane's ex-husband
Michael returned from the dead.

And he wanted her back.

- Do you still love him?
- I don't know.

NARRATOR: Straight out of
a telenovela, right?

Well, imagine this.

Rogelio's baby mama Darci

was dating
his archrival, Esteban.

And Petra? Well, you'll recall

her crazy ex-husband Milos
was out to get her.

But J.R. came to the rescue.

And then Petra did
the right thing for once.

Are you sure you want
to call police on man that owns

two-thirds of Marbella Hotel?

- (YELPING)
- NARRATOR: Because she loved J.R.

And friends, they finally
got back together.

J.R., I mean it.

I will never lie to you again, ever.

I love you.

NARRATOR:
I know, romantic, right?

So what could go wrong?

When Jane Gloriana Villanueva
was years,

eleven months
and seven days old,

she was exactly three weeks
away from turning...

? O-M-G,

that is so old.

(LAUGHS)
Whoa.

(LAUGHS)

Well, I don't feel old, Mateo.
I feel great.

Like I'm exactly
where I'm supposed to be.

ROGELIO:
Agreed.

And, by the way,
is there anything in particular

you were thinking of doing
to mark the occasion?

What?

That was just a casual question.

JANE: Actually...

I thought it might be fun
to have a party this year.

A party?

(LAUGHS) Yeah. There's so much
to celebrate, you know?

Raf and I are moving in soon.

I'm about to start
writing full-time.

You filled up your punch card

at the coffee shop this morning
and got a free latte.

JANE:
You know?

Life is good.

I really think we need
to blow it up.

Yes, exactly! Blow it up!

Let's blow it out, let's blow
the roof off this joint!

- JANE (LAUGHING): Oh.
- RAFAEL: Wow.

Okay. What about
two signature cocktails?

"Jane-a-colada"
and "Jane and Tonic"?

- And two choices of cake?
- Yes, Matelio!

And an ice sculpture
in the shape of Jane's head.

I think it should be
a unicorn party.

Yes, Matelio,
because Jane is like a unicorn.

There's no one else like her.

- And could we get a real unicorn?
- What?

Can we, Mom? Please?

You know, you only turn once.

Let's get a real unicorn.

- Yes!
- (SHOUTING) Yay.

(LAUGHING)

NARRATOR:
But alas...

that was all before this:

I need you to leave.

MATEO:
I don't want to leave.

I want to stay here with Daddy.

NARRATOR:
Which led to this:

- (SCREAMS)
- What? Who's there?

- Oh, my God! No! No, no, no, no.
- Jane.

I didn't know
you were coming home.

No, no, no...
Please don't get up!

(SHUDDERING EXHALE)

Rafael told me to leave.

(SOBS)

(GASPS, WHIMPERS)

NARRATOR:
Which brings us here, now.

Rafael, I love you.

I-I... I just need
to hear your voice. I...

I don't know what to do.
Please, call me back. I love you.

NARRATOR: Yeah.

She's been doing that
a lot lately.

I don't want a party anymore.

What am I celebrating?

My relationship is in crisis,

I got kicked out
of my apartment,

my son hates me.

(GROANS)

Oh, my God.
Is that a gray hair?

(GASPS)

Where's my phone?

No, I'm gonna call Marlene
and cancel that meeting.

(GASPS)

Uhp.

(SIGHS) I can't.

I don't have pages to discuss,

I haven't written a word
since Michael came back.

(FRIDGE CREAKS)
(SIGHS)

NARRATOR: He couldn't
have gone for oatmeal?

Hmm.

I don't know,
it was pretty awkward.

I saw his...

(GROANS)

XIOMARA:
Mm... incredible.

I can finally eat desert without
feeling instantly nauseous.

And I definitely like
the banana the best.

Then it should be yours.

What do you mean?

We're tasting cakes for Jane.

Yes, but I've been thinking
you should have a cake as well.

To celebrate being
done with chemo.

You're out of the woods now.

(GASPS)

The cake could be you...

literally coming
out of the woods.

I'm not out of the woods yet.

Until after the PET scan.

It's too early to celebrate.

Let's just keep
the focus on Jane.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

NARRATOR:
Ah, saved by the...

- Baby!
- Who wants an adorable baby

to breathe germs all over them?

(GIGGLES)

Me.

The doctor said my immune system

can handle the exposure.

Yes, he did.
Yes, he did.

Are you ready to spend
quality time with Daddy?

(FUSSES, CRIES)

(COOS)

Ti-Ti-Tickle.

(BABY WAILS)

Sorry.

She's really clinging
to me these days.

(WEAK CHUCKLE)

Just be...

(RAPID WAILING)

She's acting like
I'm a stranger.

What did you do to her?

Just loved her.
(COOS)

Relax.

Esteban's had more
face time lately.

She'll warm up
after a couple nights with you.

That's right.

She will.

She just needs
more face time with her daddy.

Her real daddy.
Not daddy's stand-in.

'Cause you're my baby girl.

My precious baby girl.

(SPEAKING BABY TALK)

(BABY CRYING)

NARRATOR:
Oh, dear.

You know, let's check in
on Rogelio's other baby girl.

NARRATOR: Geez,
maybe we should get Esteban

to hold her.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

I'm sorry I haven't
answered your calls,

but I need some time;
my life's a mess.

- Uh, that's not why I'm here.
- (CAR DOOR SHUTS)

- Uh, I just...
- JANE: Oh, my God, Rafael's here.

He can't see you.
Oh, God.

Oh... Go, go.

Hide.

NARRATOR:
Phew. That could've been bad.

Hey, Mr. Sweetface.
What a nice surprise.

So glad to see you.

We're just here because Mateo
forgot his block castle

for show and tell.

Hurry up, buddy.
We're gonna be late.

Uh, wait! Mateo, stop.

Where's my hug?
I miss you.

I'll get it.

Oh, uh, no, don't.

I, uh...
It-It's just a mess in there.

That's fine.

You're obviously busy.

(SIGHS)
We're going.

I need the dragon, too.
(GRUNTS)

- RAFAEL: Mateo, stop!
- Mateo!

Why is he in my room?!

- Yeah, why is he?
- It-It's not what it looks like.

Looks like Michael is
in our son's bedroom.

- I was just telling him to leave.
- That's true.

- Stay out of this!
- I hate you.

This is all your fault!

We're leaving.

- You have to go.
- Okay, but can I just tell you...

Not right now.

I have to talk
to Rafael and explain.

I know you want answers
from me, but...

It's not about that.

What is it?

My life insurance company
wants their money back.

They found out I'm alive.

They think I committed
insurance fraud.

What?

Yeah, I know.
It's ridiculous.

But people fake deaths
for money,

so we have to prove we didn't.

We?

Well, yeah.

You're the beneficiary,
so you're liable, too.

Anyway, the company wants
their grand back.

I don't have it.

After you d*ed, I had
to take some time off of work.

I used the money
to support myself.

MICHAEL:
I figured as much.

Which is why we need
to provide documentation

to prove that you really
believed I was dead.

Can you help me with that?

Yeah. Of course.

But later, okay?

My family's falling apart.

PETRA (LOUDLY):
Hurry up.

You're going to be late
for your Mandarin lessons.

Once the girls are gone, maybe
I can take this afternoon off

so we can spend
some time together.

And then, maybe
you can spend the night?

I'm bar-tending until about : .

Don't make that face every time
I mention my job.

I lost my license
to practice law. I have bills.

I just feel bad.

Don't. It is what it is.

Come over after?

Look, um,

I'm actually not ready
to spend the night yet.

Let's just take this slow.

Yeah. Got it. No-no problem.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Oh, hello, Temp.

There's an emergency
at the brunch buffet.

They ran out of shrimp.

How did this happen?

The shellfish vendor said
Milos canceled the order.

NARRATOR:
Ah, good old Milos.

He called and said

no shellfish until you
talk to him again,

and he asked that when
you speak to him that you...

(CHUCKLING): "not be
crabby or shellfish".

- You think that's funny?
- No.

If you laugh, you're fired.

Go! Call the prison,
set up a phone call.

I'm surprised you're
still in touch with Milos.

Only because he owns the hotel.

Trust me, he's the last person
I want to talk to.

NARRATOR:
And the last person

Rafael wants to talk to?

Thanks for meeting me.

I was gonna go to your office

and make another
big scene, but...

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

NARRATOR:
I swear, that wasn't me.

Those are actual crickets.

I'm so sorry about everything
that happened this morning.

I didn't invite Michael over.

He came because of a legal issue
with his life insurance.

But then you and Mateo
showed up, and I panicked.

I didn't want you to get
the wrong impression,

which of course ended up
happening anyway.

Yeah.

I'm so sorry.

I love you.

Yeah, but you love him, too.

No.

I mean,

yes, because he was my husband,

so a part of me still loves him,
but not the way I love you.

And the point is that
I'm choosing you.

I can get over those feelings.

- Get over them?
- That's not what I mean.

Come on, I know you, Jane,
you're gonna have to explore it.

- That's not true.
- It is true.

Otherwise, he wouldn't
still be here.

And I don't want to wait around
while that happens

'cause I'll just end up
in a bad place.

So what are you saying?

You need to move the rest
of your stuff out.

That's it?

We're just... over?

I just can't do this again.

(EXHALES) Wait.

I want to pick Mateo up
from school today.

I need to smooth things
over with him.

ROGELIO: Don't be sad,
my sweet, little daughter.

You have a party
to go to tomorrow.

Your big sister's turning ,

but don't be jealous.

When you turn ,
you're gonna have...

(BABY CRYING)

a big party, too,
with lots of cake

and ice cream and balloons.

(CRYING CONTINUES)

Shh...
(CRYING STOPS)

Don't take it personally,

he just has a way with babies.

You really have a talent, Smush.

Yes, well,

we all have talents.

Mine happens to be acting
and executive producing.

I just watched a cut of
The Passions of Steve and Brenda

and it's phenomenal.

Come here, sweet Baby.

(BABY STARTS CRYING)

Oh, oh, it's okay.
(CRYING STOPS)

You're okay.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, boy. Baby needs
a diaper change.

I got it, Mush.

(BABY LAUGHS)

Could you please stop gloating
about your career to Esteban?

Could he please stop
gloating about the fact

that he's so good with Baby?

He wasn't, I was.

Because his whole life
is looking after Baby right now.

Sebastian El Gigante tanked,

and he's been struggling
to get his next role.

Oh. I didn't know that.

Yeah.

So cut him a break, okay?

Of course.

Barry, I need a favor.

MARLENE:
No way.

NARRATOR:
Ah, Marlene.

I know I asked you
to catch me up on your life,

but I was not expecting
all of that.

NARRATOR:
Jane's former teacher,

current mentor,
and future golf partner.

Well, once. Jane sh**t a ,

nails an old lady
in the back of the head,

and gets asked
to never come back.

Yeah, so that's why I haven't
gotten much writing done.

Wow. I am so sorry for you.

That is... wow.

You don't look that sorry.

No, no, no, I am, truly.

This is... this is just
such great material.

The love, the heartbreak,
the conflict.

Well, it doesn't feel like great
material when you're living it.

It feels horrible.

A-At least when
Michael had amnesia,

I wasn't breaking up
my entire family...

That! That sentence.

You have to write that down.

I know, I'm sorry,

it's a terrible situation,

but write it.

I can't write.
I'm too emotional.

Well, at least take notes,

so you can remember
all the details later.

I don't think I can handle
taking notes

on some of the most painful
moments of my life.

Just pretend you're an observer.

Write in a dispassionate
narrative voice.

NARRATOR: Hey!
Narrators are not dispassionate.

We have a clear point of view.

Detached. Objective.

NARRATOR: Would you
rather have Siri narrate this?

Okay. I'll give dispassionate
narrator a try.

NARRATOR:
Fine, so will I.

(NARRATOR WITH ROBOTIC VOICE):
Here is Jane, taking Marlene's advice

while waiting to pick
her son up from school.

Oh, look.
Mateo dislikes his mother.

(LIVELY VOICE):
See? Boring!

Come on, sweetie, let's go.

Hey, I know you're
mad at me, but... Wait!

Mateo, don't you
run away from me!

Hey! (PANTING)

(GRUNTS)

You know better than

crossing the street
without holding my hand!

I'm not going with you!
Do not touch my body!

WOMAN:
Is something wrong?

Oh, he's, uh...
I'm his mother.

No, she's not!
Stranger danger!

Are you really
this boy's mother?

- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not!

Here, I'll show you.

Here's one of us together.

That doesn't look
like him at all.

No, it's j-just a weird angle.
Hang on. Stop it.

Okay, Mateo,

it's time to go now.

What are...?

(GRUNTS)

I hate you! I hate you!
I hate you!

I hate you!
I hate you!

I hate you! I hate you!

NARRATOR:
Write it down, Jane.

Write it down!

NARRATOR: You'll recall,
we last left Jane...

I don't want to hear
another word!

NARRATOR:
Geez, okay.

Go to your room, Mateo.

- What's going on?
- He ran away from me.

Across the street, with no adult
holding his hand,

and then he pretended
like he didn't know me.

Well, he's had
a rough couple of days.

Yes, he has, but even so,
he can't run into the street.

I just think we can give him
a pass,

given the circumstances.

- A pass?
- He's upset.

And he won't do it again.
Right, buddy?

XIOMARA:
So he totally undermined you?

Yes, in front of Mateo.

I know he's upset,
but we have to co-parent!

- Don't yell at me.
- I'm not, I'm yelling at Rafael!

I agree. When it comes
to co-parenting,

you must do whatever it takes,

even get someone
a job in Mexico.

I'm not following, Dad.

I had a small co-parenting
issue of my own,

which I solved by sending
"the issue" away.

You got Esteban a job in Mexico?

How is that good co-parenting?

It's a lead role. Barry had
to pull a lot of strings.

And while Esteban's gone,
Baby will bond with me.

That is not good co-parenting!

That is you thinking
of yourself!

What is wrong with you?

Are you really yelling
at Rafael again?

No, Dad, I'm yelling at you!

PETRA: I don't get it,
why are you angry?

Because I went to get my phone
and picked up yours

and saw this e-mail to Milos.

- I didn't e-mail Milos.
- Unbelievable.

It's right here, Petra,

how you said you won't
testify against him

if he gives you the hotel.

What are you talking about?

I didn't write this.

- It's from your account.
- Yes, I know,

but I'm being set up.
You have to believe me.

Really? The last time
we went down this road,

you let me believe that
you were innocent for months.

And you honestly think
I'd lie to you again?

I swear this wasn't me.

I'll-I'll prove it to you.

(SIGHS)

JANE: Okay.

Lots of proof.

Oh, it's for my birthday party.

Yeah. Big one coming up,
if I remember correctly.

Don't worry. I'm not gonna crash
your th birthday party.

I found a bunch of receipts, uh,
from your funeral arrangements.

You can send that to the
insurance company, right?

Yes, that's great.

Wow, you went really big
on the flowers.

Oh, yeah. Spared no expense.

Uh, plus medical files

and witness testimonies
from the LSATs.

That's got to be enough.

If not, I can always
take out a loan.

I could split it.
Cut corners. No vacations.

Have you been taking vacations?

No vacations ever.

But I do aspire to be a person
who takes vacations.

We were pretty good
at planning stay-cations,

as I remember.

Um, so we didn't get to go to
Puerto Rico for our honeymoon,

so this is... well, it's not
that, but something else.

Michael.

NARRATOR:
Ah, yes.

What to do
in such a passionate moment?

We actually might need
that document for the case.

- Hmm?
- You write a dispassionate note.

Okay, that one doesn't
look dispassionate.

(PEN SCRATCHING)

I see you, Rogelio.
What do you want?

You have excellent
peripheral vision.

I just came by to bring Baby
this adorable lavender tutu.

And see if I could get some more
impromptu face time with her

before the party.

She's sleeping in the nursery.

You can wait here
until she's up.

I notice you have
your rage face on.

What are you doing?

Filling out a Darci Factor
breakup workbook.

I feel calmer already.

Wait. Breakup?

Esteban took a job sh**ting
a telenovela in Mexico,

and he broke up with me.

- Darci. Look...
- Be quiet. I'm fine.

No. Listen, this
is all my fault.

I was jealous of
Baby's attachment

to Esteban, and...
I got him that job.

No kidding.

We realized that, you jackass.

And it was
a really dumb thing to do.

But the fact that
he broke up with me

to do this show, well...

well, you exposed some real
problems in my relationship.

Darci Factor rule # .

"Use the fight
to shine a light."

Better I know now than later.

I'm so sorry this happened.

Well, if you really feel bad,
you can meet Esteban

and pick up
some of Baby's stuff.

I can't see his face right now.

Darci Factor rule # .

"When it ends,
don't be friends."

Are you okay?

No.

(SNIFFLES)

But I will be.

NARRATOR: Okay. Let's get out
of this sad place,

and head over
to our birthday girl.

Okay, just as miserable. Noted.

Yeah, yeah, I'm hurrying.

NARRATOR:
I didn't want to say it, but...

I'm just not in the party mood.

(PHONE RINGING)

It's Rafael.

Hello?

MATEO: Hi, it's me, Mateo.

Oh, hey, Mateo.
I can't wait to see you tonight.

The unicorn can't wait, either.
He told me.

I'm not coming.
And unicorns don't talk.

What do you mean
you're not coming?

I'm sick.

Are you really sick,

or are you just mad
because my...

(PHONE BEEPS)

He hung up.
(GASPS)

Hi, you've reached
Rafael Solano,

- please leave...
- Voice mail. I'm done. Mm-mm.

My son is not missing
my unicorn birthday party.

What are you doing here?

Look, I know you're unhappy with
me, but we are co-parents first.

We have to be on the same team.

Do you think that
I want to have a party today?

No. But I'm having one
and my son needs to be there.

And no matter how you feel about
me, you have to support that.

He says he doesn't feel well.

And he's clearly faking it
because he's mad at me.

And you're letting him
get away with that.

And letting your feelings get in
the way is not good parenting.

Come on, Mateo. Let's go.

Oh...
(GASPS) (VOMITS)

NARRATOR: Impressive
commitment to faking it.

Oh, sweetie.

Here, Mommy will stay, too.
Let me take care of you.

No. Go away.

It's okay. I got this.

You can go.

(CRYING SOFTLY)

RAFAEL: You know, it's okay
to want Mommy right now.

No. I'm mad
until you're not mad.

No. No, we are separate people.

And no matter what happens
with me and Mommy,

your mommy loves you.

Do you still love her?

Always.

We're just figuring out
the way we love each other.

NARRATOR:
True, for the record.

PETRA:
Please don't cry.

Then stop yelling at me.

I'm not yelling at you,
I'm... you're just here,

- and I'm angry, okay?
- No...?

Shh. Did you find
the security footage

from the time
the e-mail was sent?

Yes. You were right.

You were f*ring
Travis the busboy.

Yes. I knew it.

W-Wait. Where am I?

Oh.

T-That's okay. Travis can
vouch for me, say I was there.

I don't think Travis will want
to help you since you just fired him.

Shh. No one asked you, Temp.

Jane!

Look, right there.

You know, I should get
to her party a little early.

Gift-wrap this.

ROGELIO: Hey, I'm gonna be
a few minutes late.

Esteban isn't here yet.
How does the house look?

It's the unicorn party
of your dreams.

Okay, good.

Oh, make sure Jane's head
is away from the door

so it doesn't melt.

Got it.
(DOORBELL RINGS)

Oh, thank God. It's him.
Okay, see you soon.

And don't worry, I look amazing.

Hello, thank you
for stopping by.

I'll just take that
so we can both be on our way.

Hold on.

I want to show you
exactly where everything is

so Baby always has
what she needs.

I put her favorite paci
in the front pocket

and her second favorite paci
in the back pocket.

Great. Thank you.
Thank you very much. Bye.

Wait.

I also brought another bag,
with some of Darci's things.

Could you give it to her?

Yes, of course.

(CRYING)

What are you doing?

I'm crying, man.

I love Darci, and my heart has
broken into a million pieces

that my body
can no longer contain.

Then why did you
break up with her?

Because it was the right thing
to do, for the family.

W-What is that supposed to mean?

I came from a messed up family.

My father and my mother's
three lovers hated each other,

and the constant fighting
really messed me up.

So when I found out
the lengths you went through

to get me out of Baby's life,

I realized

that I could not put Baby
through that.

Because I know
how Baby would feel.

Because...

I am Baby.

(BABY BABBLES)

Anyway,

let me get her car seat.

NARRATOR:
Ugh, parenting.

It's hard sometimes.

But hey, come on, Jane.

The party. Focus on the party.

(TIRES SCREECH)
Maybe she just went to get ice?

NARRATOR:
Ah, yes. You'll recall

we last left our Jane

fleeing her own unicorn party.

This is bad, people.

Where is she going?

I'm coming with you.

You are?

Yes, of course.
I care about Jane, too.

And she needs her
to corroborate an alibi.

Someone get that little donkey
with a horn out of my house.

I don't care
how magical it may be,

I am not dealing
with unicorn poop.

- How will we find her?
- XIOMARA: Easy.

We're a Find My Friends
kind of family.

Okay. Where'd you go, Jane?

NARRATOR:
Found her.

XIOMARA:
Jane!

What are you doing here?

- What are you doing here?
- I wanted to be alone.

Yes, I can. I'm a grown woman
and I can run away if I want to.

Oh, no! My notes!

(EERIE MUSIC)

(SHOUTS)

No!
DARCI: Oh, no.

What is he doing here?

Esteban still loves you, Darci.

He only broke up with you
to protect Baby from us.

ESTEBAN:
You know how I grew up.

With my father and my mother,

and Diego and Matias and
Alejandro always fighting.

I can't put Baby through that.

Well, that's a better reason,
at least.

I thought you wanted
to sleep with some

sexy telenovela bombshell.

You are the only sexy telenovela
bombshell for me, Darci.

Aww. See?

Great, so now you can make up.

No. It's still over.

- Wait, wait.
- Why?

Because what happens the next
time he does something stupid?

He won't. Will you?

- I won't.
- You will.

And I'm stuck
with this doofus, Esteban.

Okay, that's true, you are.
But I can do better.

I want to do better,
because it's best for Baby

to be surrounded by people
who love each other.

And you two love each other.

Please, Darci.
Take Esteban back.

Please, Darci. Take me back.

Fine.

But if this
ever happens again...

(CLEARS THROAT)

Oh.

How about a champagne toast
and a foot rub

to celebrate the end of this
dark time of separation?

You don't have to do that.
It was only one day.

Hmm. Darci Factor
rule # .

"Want to keep your mate?

Then take every chance
to celebrate."

That's really good advice.

Now, I should find Jane.

Oh, she's not here.

What? Where is she?

NARRATOR:
Oh, look. Found her again.

I'm sorry, hon.

Oh, it's okay.

Celebrating my th birthday
while sitting in a ditch

feels pretty right, honestly.

(NOISEMAKER SOUND EFFECT)
PETRA: What happened?

Just seeing everyone
waiting there,

and, uh, having to walk in
without Rafael,

I couldn't do it.

Because then, it would be all
so real that this is happening.

(CRYING, STAMMERS)

I know it's just a stupid
birthday party, but celebrating

without Rafael feels
like I'm accepting

that I'm moving forward
without him.

XIOMARA:
Yeah, we're here for you.

- As long as it takes.
- PETRA: Absolutely.

Hey, don't worry. Rafael will
realize he's making a mistake.

Want me to call him
and yell at him?

(STIFLED LAUGH)
No, don't. I'll figure it out.

Aww, there's that smile.

Can I just grab that napkin?
Hmm?

Well, the one you're holding. Do
you mind... can I just have it?

Thank you. Yes! Great.

"Jane can't pick up her check
until Petra is done viciously

"f*ring Travis, but Jane
doesn't even feel bad for him

"because all she can think about
is how lucky he is that his kids

are still speaking
to him." Yay! (GASPS)

This plus the video is the proof
I need to save my relationship.

Okay, I'm off. Oh, hey.

You got this, girl.
Okay? Happy birthday.

Oh, it was Marlene's idea.

She told me to write
dispassionate observations

about my life instead
of trying to write.

Hmm.

"Michael still
mispronounces 'deficit.'

"And even though he talks
slower, his eyes

still look the same before
he's about to make a joke."

"He's slower to laugh

"than he used to be,
but when he does,

it's still contagious."

"As Jane sat there with
Michael across the table,

"the urge to take his hand
was so strong that suddenly,

"Jane felt like she was
back in their old apartment,

"living their old life.

And if she was being honest,
she liked that feeling."

Hon,

these don't seem
very dispassionate.

NARRATOR:
Told you.

Narrators always have
a point of view.

It seems like there are
feelings there, for Michael.

And if there are,

why are you trying so hard
to get Rafael back?

NARRATOR: Friends,
exactly four weeks ago,

Rafael's girlfriend was four
weeks away from turning .

Let's get a real unicorn!
(CHEERING)

There goes my gift.

Ha.
(LAUGHTER)

But really. What do you want?

Nothing. We're saving money.

Still.

A card telling me
how much you love me.

(LAUGHS)

Which, for the record,
he wrote that very night.

Very not dispassionately.

But alas, that was before...

Michael got his memories back.

Which led to this...

I need you to leave.

Leaving him here,
at this moment,

four weeks later.

RAFAEL: "A card, telling you
how much I love you.

"That's what you said.

"Which feels impossible, Jane,

"because I love you with
everything that I am.

But I guess this sums it up:
will you marry me?"

(HEART b*ating)

- (EXHALES)
- (DOORBELL RINGS)

Thanks for coming.

Thanks for asking me to.

Uh, you were right.

I wasn't being a good parent.

I should have supported
you, and I'm sorry.

And also...
We should talk about... oh.

Uh, go ahead. You.

I was just about to say
you were right.

NARRATOR: And friends,
it feels cruel to point out

that his heart
had opened, briefly.

I can't just dismiss
how I feel about Michael.

But alas, that's my job.

I've been running away from my
feelings because I'm confused,

but it's-it's not fair

for me to ask you to stick
around while I sort through it.

Yeah. Yeah,
that's what I thought.

What's she doing here?

You're spending the
night at Mommy's place

- like we talked about.
- But...

Get your stuff.
It's not up for debate.

(GRUNTS)

J.R.:
He looks devastated.

What did you say to him?

(STAMMERS)
T-That's not the point.

The-the point is,
I was f*ring the busboy

and Jane was writing about it
at exactly the same time

the e-mail was sent to Milos.

So it couldn't have been me.

Someone was setting me up.
Milos, probably.

Yeah, okay.

I believe you.

Look... but wait.

Running around that ditch,

trying to find
a piece of paper...

I can't do that.

If we're going to do this...

Us...

I need you to trust me.

How am I supposed to?

After what happened?

How can we be in a relationship
if you can't?

Look, I get taking things slow.

That's fine.

But you have
to believe, deep down,

that I would never
lie to you again.

And I don't know, deep down,
that I do believe that.

It's hard.

You lied for a long time.

And I work at a bar now.

- You said you didn't blame me for that.
- I don't.

But it's a constant
reminder, and...

well, the truth is,

it's hard to feel safe with you.

Okay.

Okay?

I'll have to work harder, then.

To make you feel safe.

NARRATOR:
Also working hard...

Do you want me to read
you a bedtime story?

No.

Do you want a kiss?

And maybe it was
Mateo's constant rejection

or the return of Jane's
complicated love triangle

or the fact that she spent
her th birthday in a ditch,

but in that moment,

Jane couldn't run away
from her feelings.

(SNIFFLES)

Mommy, are you crying?

No, I'm fine. I promise.

Oh. It's okay, Mommy's
just going through a lot,

but it has nothing
to do with you, okay?

I'm sorry I ran away.

Yeah, that wasn't okay.

Oh...

But honestly?

I understand why you did it.

Because today, I ran away
from my own birthday party.

You did?

I didn't even go inside.

I-I just drove up, I saw all
the people and then I ran away.

Then what happened?

Well, I actually
ended up in a ditch.

(CHUCKLES)

And then Abuela and Bisa
and Auntie Petra,

they showed up..

XIOMARA:
I hope Jane's feeling better.

She's a strong,
capable -year-old

with impeccable genes.

She'll be fine.

Even if she doesn't feel
like celebrating right now.

And speaking of celebrating...

(CLEARS THROAT)

It's a Rocovery basket, for you.

It is filled with everything

you've been deprived
of during chemo

to celebrate that you're
on the path to recovery.

Rogelio, I told you,
I don't want...

I-I know, I-I know,
we can't celebrate

the ultimate victory yet.

But we can celebrate
smaller victories along the way.

Thank you, Rogelio.

Of course.

Not just for the basket,

but for being my rock
through all of this.

NARRATOR:
And from one happy couple

to, well, Jane and Michael.

So I submitted the evidence,

and the company agreed
to settle for $ , ,

which I can pay in installments,

- so we're all good.
- I can help.

No. I'll take care of it.

I also wanted to bring you
your belated birthday gift.

(GASPS)

Thanks, but I already own,
like, copies.

Well, this one's different,
'cause I really wanted

to talk to you
while I was reading it,

so I wrote down
my reactions instead.

And I noted a few places
where I thought

Martin could have been
a little funnier.

(LAUGHS, SNIFFLES)

Happy birthday, Jane.

Or Josephine.

♪ ♪

Oh. Oh...

(SIGHS)

NARRATOR:
And so, friends,

without knowing
where she was going,

Jane began to write again.

UNICORN:
Happy birthday, Jane.

From one unicorn to another.

(KEYS CLACKING)

NARRATOR:
Uh-oh.

Looks like Rafael may be
the one running away.