03x10 - Happy Together

[bunniefuu]

[PANTING]

[YOWLING]

Hey, Mac!
What are you doing?

People gotta work over here! [YELLING]

Hey! Hey!
Get back here!

Whoa!

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]
[VEHICLE HORNS HONKING]

No, you aren't getting away that easy.
[HORN BLARING]

[GROANS]

This is not the way to contest
your parking tickets, Quill.

Oh, come on, Dey.
The meter just ran out.

Never heard that one before.

All right, fine. [THUD]

I can't pay my parking tickets, okay?
I'm broke.

[LAUGHS]

Not even you could blow
an entire fortune in a week.

Seriously, you blew
an entire fortune in a week?

Hey, you know what? I saved the
galaxy, like, a dozen times.

So, technically, you owe me your life.

And technically, you owe the
Xandarian Parking Bureau units.

You can pick up the Milano at
the impound yard after you pay.

[GRUNTING]

[SIGHS]

I'm broke, I'm alone,
and I lost my ride.

Eh. But I still
got my tunes.

[DISTORTED WHINE] Aw! [GROANS]

I seriously hate this galaxy.

♪♪ [TECHNO]
[QUILL] Okay, just act cool.

No one needs to know you're broke.

Word to the wise, Quill.
Finish your drink

before you mutter about being broke.

What? Where'd you hear that?
I never said I was broke.

And don't you repeat it,
especially to them.

But, you know, make sure
you give them the check.

♪♪ [CONTINUES]
[DOOR BELLS JINGLE]

[BELCHES] [ROCKET] Whoa! Give
me two of what he's having.

Rocket! Groot!
What?! Great to see ya!

Why? You need units?

Me? No. Why?

Do you need units?
[FAKE LAUGH]

I am Groot.

Units?

[FAKE LAUGHING]

No way!
Like Groot said,

we're both
still super-rich.

Really, Rocket? 'Cause that's a pretty
fake laugh for such a rich guy.

It's real. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha!

I've heard more authentic
laughter from Thanos.

Gamora! It's Gamora!
Hey!

Did I mention how much
I missed your perceptive wit?

[BELCHES]

Just like you two lovebirds to g*ng
up on poor defenseless me.

[TOGETHER] We are not lovebirds.

I am Groot?

Hmm, uh...

[GRUNTS] [GRUNTS, CLEARS THROAT]

You can shout all you like, but I do not
answer to the name Drax the Destroyer.

Also, I am on a break.

Why are your faces
turning a reddish hue?

What?
No, they're not.

Your face is...
Why are you wearing an apron?

It turns out that heroics
cost far more than destroying.

You know what else costs? Your drinks.
Time to pay up.

I, uh... You know what?

I think I left my unit tablet
in my other fur.

Guess this round's on you, Quill.

[LAUGHS]
Yeah. The...

Well, the thing is, well...
[PATRON] Put it on my bill.

Howard! How ya been,
ya old quacker?

What, hanging around with
this knothead wasn't enough?

You had to get more loser sidekicks?

You closely resemble a creature
I once saw being auctioned off.

That's 'cause I was auctioned off.

And imagine my surprise
when my fellow outlaw Rocket

didn't raise a paw to stop it.

'Cause who'd wanna pay for
you, am I right, Howard?

You'd be surprised.

[LAUGHING]

I'm just krutackin' with ya.

You were only following
the Outlaw Code.

[LAUGHS] Oh, get a load of this duck.

Who here has heard of an Outlaw Code?

Who here's heard of a duck?

Wha... Seriously?

The Outlaw Code is followed by the
worst scoundrels in the galaxy.

So what do you want?

It ain't what I want.

It's what you losers need.

Namely, a job.

I am Groot.

Aw, don't tell me the knothead's
still mad about that time

I put termites in his terrarium.

Nah.
Groot always forgives.

I am Groot!

He just never forgets, on account
of his photosynthetic memory.

- Now, tell us about this job.
- [QUILL] We'll take it!

I mean, uh, we will
at least hear you out.

Oh, the gig's quick and easy,
but it'll take all of ya's.

Some smugglers crash-landed
in Kallusian space

with a certain item in their cargo.

They had to ditch said item, but now
they want it back. What do you say?

No. Absolutely not. I am Groot.

Well, if that's the consensus...

Guys, guys, guys!

Ain't we being a little hasty here?

Okay, I didn't want to admit this,

but Quill's completely broke!

No, I'm not.
You're broke!

If you guys really wanna
be heroes, save Quill

by doing this job and giving
him your share of the units.

I don't need units!
[DRAX] But Drax does.

My current employment is hardly
sufficient for paying off my debts.

Also, dish washing chafes my fingers.

I'm in. But this is
a one-and-done deal.

Doesn't mean we're getting
back together.

Well, technically, I mean,
we were never together...

Oh, wait. Oh, you meant the team.
Okay, all right, fine.

You know what? I'll do it. But
not because I need the units.

I am Groot!

Come on, bud. I...

Uh, you need those units.

Please?

[SIGHS]

Great! Here are the ship's
last known coordinates

and the item's energy signature.

Half payment up front,
half when you deliver.

Thought you left that
in your other fur.

Yeah, we're way past that, Quill.

Now rev up the Milano,
and let's get going.

Yeah, okay, about that...

[BRAKES HISS]

[ROCKET] You losers
remember how to do this?

We haven't been split up that long.

- It's just like riding a bicycle.
- Agreed.

What is a bicycle?

[GAMORA] And why didn't you
just pay your parking fines?

- 'Cause I ca... I won't, on principle.
- Can I help you?

[MUFFLED GRUNTING]

You didn't see nothin'.

[HEAVY EQUIPMENT ENGINE WHIRRING]

Such senseless destruction.

I think I'm in love. [QUILL]
Yeah, well, too bad.

'Cause the object of your affection
is about to crush our ship.

Fear not. I will pilot
the Milano to safety.

What? Drax, no!
You're a terrible pilot!

[ROCKET] Groot, help me
take out that tether!

I am Groot.

What do you mean,
"Ask Howard to do it"?

Don't tell me you're still mad at him.
I am Groot!

Ugh! I never should've
agreed to this job.

Groot, stop Drax. The rest of
us will disable the tether.

[GRUNTS] Drax will not be defeated
by a primitive theft-prevention device!

- I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot!
- Ha!

[ENGINE REVVING]

[RUMBLING, CRACKLING]

[QUILL SHOUTS]

What's going on up there?

We're being driven
by a nine-foot tree

and a guy who can't figure
out how to put on a shirt! Take a guess!

[HEAVY EQUIPMENT CLANKING]

Uh, guys, I don't think
that's our biggest concern.

[ALL YELL]

[ALL YELL]

- I am Groot!
- [GRUNTS]It is not my fault!

This device will only allow me
to turn left!

[LAUGHING]

Quill continues to be wrong.
Drax is an excellent pilot.

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

[ENGINE REVVING]

Quill, I said keep
the red wires out of my way!

They're all red wires!

Some are more red than others.
Groot could tell the difference!

- Then go get Groot!
- I'll get him!

Anything's better than
listening to you two bicker.

[GROANS] We never should've
gotten the team back together.

[ALARM BEEPING] Drax, slow down!
Groot, go help Rocket.

I am Groot!

Fear not. Drax will evade our pursuer.
By turning left!

Cut us loose!
Cut us loose!

Behold, I am Drax
the Maker of Left Turns!

You're also Drax the Forgetful.

Hey, wait for us!

[WIND HOWLING] [QUILL] Okay, maybe
this time we don't split up.

In case some people leave
you hanging, [THUNDERCLAP]

literally, in the middle of a mission!

I am Groot!

What did I do?

[CLANKING]
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]

[GRUNTING]

Is this sticking close
enough together for you?

[YELLS] Or would you like
me to hold your hand?

[GRUNTS]

I believe he would.

I don't know what's more annoying...
those two or Mr. Pouty Face here.

[GRUNTS]
I am Groot.

I do not like Howard better than you!

Now, how's about we focus
on what we came here for?

[BEEPING]

The signal's coming
from right behind this door.

[GRUNTS]

[BEEPING HASTENS]

[LOUD BEEP]
Don't touch it!

I think Howard...

I am Groot!
[ALARM BLARING]

I was going to say, "I think Howard

might have underestimated the
level of security on this ship."

I am Groot.

[ROCKET] Aw, krutack!
That's Halan Skin Fog!

[QUILL] That sounds bad. Is it bad?

[ROCKET]
Only if you like having skin.

[ALARM CONTINUES BLARING]

Your feathered friend set us up.

I am Groot!

No. No way Howard did this.
It's against the code!

Yeah, I'm really starting
to hate this code.

[WIND HOWLING]
[THUNDERCLAP]

[GROANS]

Whatever this is, it's not worth
the units. It's staying here.

No way!
I need those units!

You know, for you guys.

Fine. I admit it.
I'm broke.

I only did this for the units, and
maybe because I missed you guys.

Some of you, anyway.

- Ah. Clearly, he means...
- I know who he means.

Ha! I knew it!

And I ain't leaving this till
I see what's in... [YELLING]

[THUNDERCLAP]

[GAMORA] That's the symbol of the Kree.

[QUILL] As in Ronan the Accuser's Kree?

Ruthless warmongers Kree?

Yes, that Kree.

Unless there is another Kree
I am unaware of.

I am Groot! Aah! [GRUNTING]

No, Howard did not
throw us to the Kree.

He ain't like that.

Hey!
[YELLS]

Broke or not, we are not
getting mixed up with the Kree.

I'm putting this thing back now.

Why? The Kree'll
come after us anyway.

[YELLS] We should finish the
job, take the units, and run.

[FEMALE VOICE]
Interesting plan.

I do anticipate one problem, though.

I am Kree Accuser Phyla-Vell.

And there's nowhere to run.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Now give me the case and surrender.

If you're an Accuser, how come you don't
have one of those hammer thingies?

Okay, never mind.

I won't ask again.
[DRAX YELLS]

[GRUNTS]

The code says to never surrender.

What are you talking about?

The code says always surrender
and find a way out later.

Just like old times, right?

[GRUNTING]
Aahh!

[GRUNTS]

Get to the Milano! Go!

Aah!

[ALL CRY OUT]

I am Groot!

[GRUNTS]
Whoa!

[GRUNTS]

No!

[STRAINING]

Aahh!

[GROANS]

She doesn't want to hurt the case.

Stand back, or I'll torch this thing!

You have no idea
what's in there, do you?

Nope. But I have it
and you don't.

So drop your sword.

[GRUNTS]

Go! Now!

[MILANO'S ENGINE REVS]

[HOWARD] So, you losers
actually got it.

Color me surprised.

We're about to color you taxidermied,

so tell us what this thing is and why
a Kree Accuser wants it so badly.

Howard, you and me go way back,
but Quill's right.

Ya gotta tell me what's in this case.

So the knothead couldn't pry it open
with his little twigs, could he?

I am Groot!

Now, don't get your foliage in a bunch.

I'll tell you everything you
need to know at the drop site.

Sending the coordinates now.

- I am Groot!
- What?

If we don't like his answer, we can
b*at him up after we get the units.

[THUNDERCLAP]

[WIND HOWLING]

Rocket.

Idiot. Other idiots.

I am Groot!

Oh, relax. Howard's just being Howard.
He don't mean nothin' by it.

Where's the case?

We left it on the ship,
as per the code.

Code says I can't hand over the units

till you hand over the case.

Code also says
I can't hand over the case

till you hand over the units.

Ugh! Okay, let me guess.

Code also says you gotta haggle.

[TOGETHER] Uh, duh. [THUNDERCLAP]

Code don't say nothing about that.

[YELLS]

You just added additional
charges to your rap sheets.

You wanna surrender,
or go for an even dozen?

[COUGHING]

Drop your weapons before I turn you all

into one big, smoking crater.

[GRUNTS]

[RESTRAINT DEVICES CLICKING]
Uh, where's Howard?

- I am Groot!
- Don't be ridiculous.

Howard's got his own ship.
Why would he steal ours?

Because he's also stealing the item
on board! [ENGINE POWERING UP]

What? Let us go!
We gotta go after him!

No one is going anywhere.

Eyes on me, and everyone listen.

Guardians of the Galaxy,

you stand accused of trespassing,

breaking and entering,
resisting an Accuser,

and stealing a classified asset
from the Kree Empire.

Uh, technically, the duck in our ship

is still stealing said asset.

I do not know what a duck is.

But as soon as I've dealt
with you, I will personally

hunt down your accomplice and retrieve
what's ours with extreme prejudice!

Now hold out your hands.

Don't worry.
I'll have us out of jail

before we even get jumpsuits.

And, thanks to Howard,
we'll still have half our units.

That krutackin',
double-crossin' birdbrain!

Reneging on a payment
ain't part of the code!

The only code I care about
is the Kree Code of Justice.

[RUMBLING]

The volcano is reigniting.

It doesn't feel any hotter.
Maybe it's just settling.

[YELLS]

Or it's an acid volcano!

Why can't we ever just have
a regular volcano?

[ROCKET] Howard wants
to steal our ship?

Then we'll steal his.
[BEEPING]

I am Groot!

[GROANS]

I am Groot!

So the Accuser's hurt. She was
trying to hurt us, if you remember!

[SIGHS]
I just want it on record

that this goes against
every code I've ever heard of.

But ain't no code worth more
than my best bud.

[SIGHS]

Get the ship running.

Me and Groot gotta do something
really krutackin' stupid!

Ohh! That's kind of
our thing!

Good luck.

[GROWLS]

She better find Howard
and b*at the feathers off him!

I am Groot!

[GRUNTING]

We got her!
Go, go, go!

Okay, I may...

may have been wrong about Howard.

I am Groot.

[SIGHS] And I really do need the units.

[QUILL]
Called it!

But coming back together
as a team ain't been all bad.

Just, like, % bad.

I would say % or less.

I am Groot.
[GRUNTING]

We are clearly better together.

On a strictly professional
level, of course.

[GROANS]

[GASPS]
Where am I?

You are on a ship.
We saved you.

[QUILL] Because we're heroes.

And now that we know that, I bet
we all learned a valuable lesson

about not judging... or
arresting... people too soon.

I couldn't agree more.

You idiots really are heroes.

But that in no way changes my job.

A Kree Accuser
never releases a prisoner.

However, I will recommend
that once you are found guilty,

your execution is swift.

Oh, come on!

Hmph! Best bud or not, next time,
I'm leaving her in the volcano.

I am Groot.

I gotta ask, why all the fuss?

If you just wanted
whatever's in this case,

why'd you make me ditch
the Guardians in the volcano?

Because...

they broke my things.