03x11 - Gotta Get Outta This Place

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Guardians of the Galaxy". Aired: September 2015 to June 2019.*
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"Guardians of the Galaxy" picks up where the film left off and they patrol the universe protecting it from various villains that thr*aten it.
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03x11 - Gotta Get Outta This Place

Post by bunniefuu »

[PHYLA]
Guardians of the Galaxy,

you are accused of high crimes

against the Kree Empire,

and will be detained here
until your trial.

[GAMORA] Brace yourselves, Guardians.

Kree prisons are notoriously harsh.

And yet Drax finds this one

sleekly designed.

[QUILL] You know, I got to say, Gamora,

not really feeling the harsh here.

I am Groot.

[ROCKET]
Hoo hoo!

I always wanted to be thrown

into a place like this.

Seriously, Rocket?
You wanted to be thrown

into a place that looks
like my grandmother's house?

Flarg, yeah.
The cells are modular.

They move around at random,

so it's impossible to plan an escape...

for anyone but me, of course.

Welcome, dearies,

to the Kree Monolith of Justice.

I'm Doctor Minn-Erva,
your dedicated guide

to the world of rehabilitation.

[SNICKERING]

Follow my rules, little rodent,

and we'll get along fine.

I ain't no...
[MUFFLED GRUNT]

Deviate from my rules,

and there will be dire consequences.

No one escapes from my facility.

[CHUCKLES]

Challenge accepted.

[QUILL]
Okay, look, I get it.

Every fiber of your being
is telling you to escape.

But this time, we got to stay put

so we can go to trial
and prove our innocence.

[GAMORA] Hate to say it,
Rocket, but Quill's right.

For once, resist your natural
instinct to be yourself.

So the rumors are true.

Let's see how tough you Guardians are.

Yaah!

[GROANING]

Violent intent is an infraction
of Doctor Minn-Erva's rules.

It's the rehab module for both of you.

No.

Not the rehab module!

Time to follow my rules.

Number : nobody messes with us.
[THUMPING FOOTSTEPS]

You! Guardians
of the Galaxy...

[ROCKET SHOUTING]

Yaah! Oof!

Anyone got a problem with that?

[GROANING]

[PHYLA] You might,

considering you just knocked out

your defense counsel.

Defense counsel?

[GAMORA] Phyla,
you already captured us.

What are you doing here?

I will be the Accuser in your trial,

which shouldn't last long,

considering the state
of your defense counsel.

Come on, you ugly lawyer, wake up!

Fine. I'll be
our defense counsel.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Wait.
You are serious?

Seriously delusional.

Very well, counselor.

You can start by making
a full confession.

What? Wh...
That we were tricked

into stealing some mystery
box from the Kree,

which was stolen from us?

If you will not confess
the location of the item,

then your only hope
is for a friendly witness

to testify on your behalf.

Okay, we saved the galaxy,
like, a dozen times.

How hard can that be?

[QUILL] Oh, hey, I know those guys.

Yes. They all came
to testify...

against you.

Did anyone come to testify for us?

Huzzah!

Fandral.

Fandral of Asgard,

is it possible

the Guardians could have breached

a secure Kree facility and robbed it?

By all means.
They are excellent thieves.

If anything in the galaxy went missing...
[CHUCKLES]

I would wager it was
stolen by the Guardians,

especially that rascal Peter Quill.
[LAUGHING]

I hate that guy.

Silence.

The Supreme Intelligence
will have order.

The accused will step forward
and confess their crime

and the location of my property.

Okay, Your Blobbiness,

I admit that it looks
like we're guilty.

But here is the twist.

We were set up,

framed by a con artist and schemer

known as Howard the Duck.

And this is the same Howard the Duck

you claim stole your ship
with the item on board.

Can you describe
this Howard to the court?

I am Groot!

That is him. The scoundrel!

[GRUNTS]

Can you all confirm

the defense counsel's story
that you were framed

by this Howard the Duck?

- I am Groot. Yes.
- I can.

Whoever heard of a talking duck?

Who even knows what a duck is?

What are you doing?

I won't rat out a fellow outlaw.

It's part of the Outlaw Code.

Seriously? This again?

Somebody must have set up Howard.

Somebody in this room.

The Guardians of the Galaxy are guilty

of high crimes against the Kree Empire.

You will undergo severe interrogation

until you confess your crimes,

after which

you will be ex*cuted

painfully.

[ROCKET] We're about
to be interrogated,

so the less you know about this plan,

the better.
[GRUMBLING]

Drax, find me a Universal Hex Bolt.

Every drainage system
in the galaxy has one.

Try the exercise yard.

This colorful jiggling dessert

is giving me more than enough exercise.

Gammy, I need a half dozen
of those guards' buttons,

but no one can know they're missing.

You'll have to swipe some
from the prison laundry.

Groot, you got the tough job.

I need that.

[TOILET FLUSHES]

Quill, I need a transducer coil
switch from that food dispenser.

No, no.
That's a fake assignment.

You always trick me into
getting a part you don't need,

and then you laugh about it later.

[GROANS] I don't got time for this.

Okay, fine. You can
be the distraction.

Ow! [GRUNTS]

[GROWLING]

I take it back!
You can be the distraction!

Aah!

Uhh!

[BURBLING]

[GROANS]

Peter Quill, I know from
studying your records

that when a Guardian is
involved in a prison fight,

it is often a distraction

for someone like you.

Almost.

Huh?
[CHUCKLES]

[DOCTOR MINN-ERVA] What are
you hiding there, rodent?

Get this through
your thick blue skull, lady.

I ain't no rodent!

There's no need for that tone.

Aren't those the same inmates

who tried to att*ck us
when we got here?

And now they are rehabilitated,

as you all will be.

[SHOUTING]

Stick to the plan.
[BELL DINGS]

I am Groot?

Uhh.

What the flarg?

[GRUNTING]

I ain't talkin'.

That's no attitude
for a good little rodent.

I ain't no rodent!

[GRUNTS]

And I definitely ain't good.

I know this is a process for you.

[GRUNTING]

I'd like to process you
into a million pieces!

I've decided it will be best for you

to have a period of Total
Immediate Mental Eradication

Of Unacceptable Temperament.

Or what I call a TIMEOUT.

[YELLS, GRUNTS]

This supposed to scare me?

Ha! I never had
so much fun in my li...

[ELECTRICITY ARCING]
[SHOUTING]

[SIGHS]

Uhh!

Prisoner, resume exercise.

[SIGHS]
You call this exercise?

I call it forced labor.

[GRUNTING]

How can it be labor
if it is not laborious?

[GRUNTING]

Behold. The Universal Hex Bolt!

Intent to escape is an infraction
of Doctor Minn-Erva's rules.

[WHIRRING]

[GAMORA]
You're up, distraction.

[SHOUTING]

[SHOUTING]

Aah!

[GRUNTS]

Ah.

[GRUNTING]

I... am... Groot!

I am Groot!
[GRUNTING]

[GROANS]
Huh?

Yes! Our weapons!

[GRUNTS]
Aah!

[SHOUTING]

[SHOUTING]

If you will not learn
to do the right thing,

I will teach you
not to do the wrong thing.

Oh-ho, I'll show you.

[SHOUTING]

Yaah!

Such defiance.

Perhaps you need another turn
in the TIMEOUT box.

No! [PANTS] No, thank you... lady.

Oh. So polite.

I think we're making progress.

Now, that's a spin cycle.

There are the buttons Rocket needs.

You will require a distraction.

[SHOUTING]

[SIGHS] Apparently,
I've already got this.

I'm always the distraction!

We need backup!

[GRUNTS]

Oka... Not the face!

Not the face!
[RUMBLING]

[SHOUTING]

[GASPING, COUGHING]

I got the buttons Rocket wanted.

[COUGHING]
As did I.

[COUGHS]
Me t...

Never mind.

[GRUNTING]
[SNAP]

I am Groot.

I don't need you to turn the Guardians

into model citizens,
Minn-Erva.

I need a confession!


You are compromising Kree justice

for your own personal obsession.

You may be an Accuser, dearie,

but don't think you can accuse me.

I will have results within the hour.

Sadly, Rocket, we've run out of time.

Hey, I got all day.

The cranial interrogator
can take you back,

back to the time your
behavior problems began.

You can start afresh,

if you survive.

[ELECTRICITY ARCING]

[GRUMBLING]

[ARCING INTENSIFIES]
[GRUNTING]

[QUILL] We got everything
Rocket asked for.

[GAMORA]
Almost everything.

I am Groot.

Without Rocket, we still have no idea

what to do with any of it.

I am Groot!

Yeah!
[SHOUTS]

[GRUNTING]

Rocket, I know you want to be good,

and I have made you something
to help you do just that.

Comply, and the pain will all stop.

[GRUNTING]

That's right, punks!

Who's a distraction now, huh?
[LAUGHS]

Gloat later.
We need to get Rocket.

[BEEPS]

Welcome, dearies.

[DRAX]
Where is our friend?

[QUILL]
Rocket!

Oh, good. Whew.
You're still yourself.

I'm better than myself.

I'm a good little rodent now.

Your friends have broken my rules.

Subdue them.

You don't have to listen to her.

I don't have to. I want to.

[YELLS]

Rocket, no! Uhh!

That woman has damaged your mind.

She freed my mind. Raah!

[SHOUTING]

[ALL GROANING]

[DOCTOR MINN-ERVA]
Now, be a good little rodent

and put your friends
in the TIMEOUT box,

would you, dearie?

Uhh!
Aah!

Aah!
Uhh!

There we are.
Eh...

A good little rodent.

She did it. She actually broke him.

And from the looks of that light show,

I'd say we're next.

[ECHOING] Okay, everybody,
resist the mind control.

Think of my favorite songs.

[ECHOING]
We hate your songs.

Fine. But whatever you do,

don't stare at the...

the...

lights.

The lights...

Stare at the... Huh?

[ROCKET] If you're watching this,
then either I'm krutacked,

or my plan is working perfectly.

You losers better have
all the components,

'cause you're gonna rig them up here

inside the TIMEOUT box.

Ha! See?

Even creepy granny lady
can't stop Rocket

from being Rocket.

I am Groot!

[DRAX] But did Rocket leave
us these instructions

before or after he was rehabilitated?

So neat and well behaved.
[CHUCKLES]

Now I need you to confess the location

of the item you stole from the Kree.

I do not know where it is.

I believe you, dearie,

but your friends may
know something more.

I will get them to confess.

Please, may I do that for you?

Oh, you are such a good little rodent.

Come give your
Auntie Minn-Erva a hug.

I cannot bear to watch.

Well, don't just stand there, dummies.

Get to work.

But you hugged her.

Yeah, so I could swipe these!

Now would be a good time
to tell us what your plan is.

So, you know all the power outages

you guys caused getting this stuff?

Well, the generator's
already rerouted all systems

to the biggest power
consumer in the place:

the TIMEOUT box.
[WHIRRING]

So what do you say we flush this joint?

[WHIRRING]
[RUMBLING]

[GASPS]
Guards!

If you can't escape from prison,

then you got to escape with prison!

Go stop Grandma Nutjob

while I fly us out of here.

You've all been very naughty, hmm?

Uhh!

[QUILL] Our weapons!

Thanks, Rocket.

Ah-ah-ah!

I wouldn't do that,

or you'll be in for quite a shock.

Or you would be

if I still had my knitting needles.

[GRUNTS]

Uhh! Oh, this is unacceptable!

Lady, we're the Guardians
of the Galaxy.

We don't just break rules,
we obliterate them.

Then obliteration
is what you shall receive.

If you will not be rehabilitated,

you will be punished.

Disable that module!

I want them alive!

Have to say, I kind of liked
her better in the chair.

Uhh! Aah!

Hold still, dearie.

Aah!

Now behave.

[GRUNTS]

Ah-ah-ah.

Stop right there, rodent.

So rude.
Didn't even say "please."

I think some naughty warden
needs a little rehabilitation.

Aaahh!

I'm thinking an outpatient program.

Show her the door.

Aah!

No! Noooo!

[WHIMPERING]

Minn-Erva?

Ohh!

The prisoners are getting away!

Oh, look at that.

Ladies are too slow to follow us.

We have escaped the inescapable,

but I have yet to devour
the un-devourable.

Never mind.

I think we have bigger issues,

like tracking down
that stolen Kree package

and clearing our names.

I am Groot.

No. I won't rat out Howard.

But ain't nothing in the Outlaw Code

says we can't get some
payback on that krutacker

for setting us up.
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