01x08 - Science Fair

[bunniefuu]

ADULT DEAN: The Jefferson Davis
Junior High School science fair

was only a couple days away,

and a few of us stayed late
to work on my project.

By th grade, I'd taken my game
to the next level.

Then... add a catalyst

and stir and...

- Whoa!
- Whoa!

[Laughter]

Just wait till I make
my own yeast out of potatoes.

Hey, I bet you could win the
science fair this year, Dean.

Me? No.

Of course I was winning.

I'd been doing experiments
ever since my aunt

got me my first chemistry set
when I was .

I was still holding out hope
that a lab accident

would bestow me with
superpowers, but no luck yet.

♪

Goliath is kinda cool, huh?

See, in comics, you could be
a nerd and be cool.

Peter Parker, Bruce Banner, Hank Pym...

all were superheroes that
started out as scientists.

What you doing, nerd?
Reading like you white?

Leave my stuff alone!

Or what, dork?

In that moment, the spirit of
every scientist superhero

coursed through my veins.

Standing before me was the most
evil supervillain ever born,

and I owed it to the world
to do something.

- [Students chanting "fight, fight"]
- Read! This! Science! Boy!

Hey! Pick on someone your own size!

You know he can't fight!

Was there anything more
embarrassing than your crush

calling you a wimp in front of
the entire school?

Get off my son! You know he can't fight!

Yeah. Guess there was.

Mom, what are you doing?
I almost had him.

I did not raise you
to be out here fighting.

What is your name, young man?

Michael Simms, ma'am.

Back then, there was
an unspoken agreement

that Black parents
were allowed to parent

not just their own kids, but
all the kids in the community.

Both of you, butts in the car.

Now!

♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh and I know ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Through the highs and the lows ♪

♪ I'mma find my way home ♪

♪

Unh-unh. You wanna fight?

Then you're gonna have to pay the piper.

Your parents are gonna wanna
hear about this.

Come on.

Let's go. Come on.

[Car door closes]

[Knock on door]

Michael, are your parents home?

Who was supposed to pick you up?

My brother.

But he usually has to work late.

Are you home alone?

I-It's fine.

[Sighs]

♪

[Car door closes]

- Tell me about your friend Michael.
- He's not my friend.

How do you begin to describe
someone that is so evil,

diabolical, dastardly, antithetical

to everything good in the world?

He's a butthead.

♪

Can you believe this boy's situation?

I mean, clothes thrown
all across the sofa.

And I'd hate to see the kitchen.

- Probably dishes everywhere.
- It's a real shame.

Mm-hmm. And I was talking to
some of the moms...

- You mean the moms busybody gossip line?
- [Laughter]

Speaking of which, Miss Doris said

she saw you at the mall,
and I said that was impossible

because you told us
you were at the library.

Keys.

- Mm.
- [Keys jingle]

Now, anyway, as I was saying,

I found out that Michael's
older brother is years old.

Can you imagine?

A boy being raised by someone

who's practically a child himself.

Well, at least they have each other.

I bet Michael could use some guidance

and a warm meal, too.

Michael definitely didn't need
another meal.

He was already the size of
a linebacker in th grade.

Okay, Lil.

I see where this is going, and no.

You let that boy in here,
he gonna steal something.

I don't know what you mean.

You can't fix every baby bird
with a broken wing.

- Even if it is Dean's friend.
- He's not my friend.

You remember Homeless Joe?

How many batches of hot water
cornbread you bring him?

- Still on that stuff.
- Well, that ain't the cornbread's fault.

And what about your Cousin Joanne

who needed $
to start that hair salon?

Mm-hmm. Then she met a man
with a Cadillac,

and we never saw her again.

Well, I will not apologize
for being Christ-like.

Hmm. You weren't so Christ-like
when that co-ed from my college

needed a place to stay. [Laughs]

[Laughs sarcastically]

What that girl needed was a job

and a shirt with a neckline.

Mm-hmm.

Anyway, I'm not gonna be
helping Michael. Dean is.

What? Why me?

Because you said so yourself.

He doesn't do well in school,

and look,
we've been blessed with so much,

which is why you do so well.

I think it'd be a good idea
for you to help someone

who's less fortunate.

What my mom was asking
was just as ridiculous

as asking Spider-Man
to team up with Doc Ock.

[Chuckles] I mean, sure,
it happened once,

but only because Spidey had amnesia.

Wait, can't I help Homeless Joe?

I bet he never finished school.

This is happening.

♪

I promised my mom
I'd offer to help Michael.

Sure, I'd been working on
my project for a month

and he hadn't even started his.

That's totally fair.

My mom says I have to help you
with your science project.

Shut up.

Cool.

Oh, well. I tried.

♪

I knew my mom was hoping I'd try harder,

but there was no way I was
teaming up with a guy

that's been tormenting me since
we were in the nd grade.

Oh. That's Michael Simms

in your kitchen.

Huh.

Well, it was nice knowing you, man.

I'm gonna work at my house. [Scoffs]

Mom! What is he doing here?

I told you he didn't want my help.

Yes, and I'm sure you asked
very sincerely.

My mother definitely had my number.

And since I'm not about to let
this boy show up empty-handed,

we decided to make a potato clock

using one of your old science kits.

But you're gonna do all the work
yourself, you understand?

Yes, ma'am.

But those are the potatoes
from my project.

Sweetheart, don't be silly.
There are plenty of potatoes.

Who knew root vegetables
could be so interesting?

Uh, I did.

Michael was just reading about
the role electrolytes

- play in conduction, weren't you?
- Yes, ma'am.

Well, all right, then.
Go ahead. Keep reading.

We don't have all year.

"An elec-trolyte

is a soob-sti-nin-a-nence

which e-mits ions when..."

[Slams table] Dangit!

You don't use that language
in school, do you?

Yeah.

I mean, no.

Sorry, ma'am.

All right. That's what I thought.

Now, keep going.

I can't.

Listen, you use that word
"can't" one more time,

and not reading will be
the last of your worries.

What was my mother doing?
You don't poke the bear.

She was racking up a swirly tab

that I was gonna have to pay
for tomorrow at school.

♪

♪ It's easy to see ♪

♪ You better be ♪

Your mom said I have to ride the
bus home with you after school.

He was coming back for more?

What type of madman would do
homework with my mother

if they didn't have to?

You're not gonna hit me?

What a weirdo.

[Groans]

♪

While my mom spent
the last couple of days

working with my archnemesis
on a rudimentary potato clock,

I was working on splitting oxygen atoms

like a real scientist.

- [Laughter]
- Unfortunately, Michael Simms

was clearly intent on
disrupting my peaceful lair.

LILLIAN: That's hilarious, Michael.

Dean never told me how funny you were.

Well, maybe if I got to drink
beer and watch Richard Pryor,

I'd be funny, too.

Mom loves spending time with her
new favorite son, huh?

Shut up, Kim.

But she had a point.

What if they got so close,
my mom tried to adopt him?

♪

Now, don't blow up my house, son.

♪

- Now, wait just a second.
- The lighting's better in here.

Remember to keep them from touching.
It won't work if they do.

Which reminds me, I have to check on

my potato yeast that I'm making.

By myself. From scratch.

Mrs. Williams, where do these wires go?

You connect your two potatoes
to the clock?

- [Door opens]
- Mm-hmm.

- [Sighs] Sorry I'm late.
- Then you move those...

Dinner almost ready?

Ooh, I'm so sorry.

We were working so hard,
we completely lost track of time.

At last. The one cardinal sin
in a Black household

is putting someone above
the dad in the food chain.

There's no way my dad
was gonna stand for this.

I'll just heat up leftovers
since you're busy.

Well, that was unexpected,
but at least family dinner

meant Michael
would finally have to go home.

Michael, it's getting late.

You should stay for dinner.

Drat. Curses. Zounds.

All that stuff.

Perhaps there's still time
to poison his next course.

Michael, can I offer you seconds?

Yes, please.

I'll just take bologna to the office.

Uh, you know, Michael, Kim has
been looking at colleges.

Is that something you might be
interested in doing?

Haven't I seen you hanging
around Jacque's house?

- I don't think so.
- Yeah.

No, it was definitely you.

Man, those parties are so loud.

And the kissing.

I've never seen that many people
locking lips in my life.

- Keys.
- [Sighs]

[Car horn honks]

Oh. Must be your brother.

I'm so proud of the work you did today.

That clock is really coming along.

You know, if you applied
yourself, one day,

you could become
a really great scientist.

[Chuckles]

[Door opens]

Thank you, Mrs. Williams.

Good night. And good luck tomorrow.

Good night.

[Sighs] Well, mm.

This is really great.

♪

Hmm.

♪

Huh.

Project's coming along nicely.

I guess.

Is that a nuclear power plant?

Maybe.

I found your potato water
on the counter.

- You want me to put it in the fridge?
- Whatever.

Obviously, I was handling the situation

with the utmost maturity.

You know, I'm so proud of you
for doing all this on your own.

Yeah, and maybe I'll become
a great scientist one day, too.

Okay.

Come here.

I get that this is probably
very uncomfortable for you.

How could you be so nice to
someone who's so mean to me?

[Sighs]

Well, the thing you have to
understand is that Michael

hasn't had an easy life.

You get love from me
and your father every day.

Michael isn't blessed
with that type of love.

There are things he misses out
on that we take for granted.

So, he's allowed to b*at me up?

The reason Michael lashes out
is because he's angry.

What could he possibly be angry about?

He gets to keep everyone's
lunch money every day.

Well, it's complicated.

I think the big part of it is
the fact that his parents

aren't there to support him
the way we do for you.

Then he shouldn't have k*lled them.

[Scoffs] He didn't. Dean.

Michael shared with me that the
reason his mother's not around

is because she's not able
to take care of him.

She had to go into a mental hospital.

It happened a few years ago,

when he was around your age,
and he hasn't seen her since.

Oh. That is bad.

Wait, does that mean

if something happens to you and Dad,

- I have to live with Kim?
- [Sighs]

First off, nothing is gonna
happen to us,

but it's important to put
yourself in someone else's shoes.

That's why I helped him.

I can't imagine how hard
his life must be.

Does that make sense?

Right.

And I hope you remember that
I'll always be proud of you.

Now, get some rest.
Got a big day tomorrow.

- Good night.
- Good night, Mom.

♪

Despite the years of bullying,

I found myself genuinely feeling sorry

for Michael and his mom.

Pretty sure he still k*lled
his father, though.

Ah, the science fair.

One of the best days of
the year, next to Christmas,

my birthday, and Mama's
short rib Sundays, of course.

Carrol, how's it going?
Hey, Tom, good luck.

You're gonna need it. Just kidding.

♪

- The boy ain't right.
- Oh, shush.

So, you feeling confident?

A little.

A little? Please.

I was gonna win this thing hands down.

I mean, look at the competition.

A baking soda volcano?

What are we, in nd grade?

♪

Oobleck? Wow.

You mixed corn starch and water.

Did you do that yourself? Heh.

Why is Neptune bigger than Jupiter?

Come on, Larry.

Everyone knows it's seven times smaller.

If I'm looking at the future of NASA,

then the Russians have nothing
to worry about.

Hey, Dean, check it out.

I painted my shoe box so it
looks like an actual oven.

Cool, right?

MICHAEL: S-Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Michael.

I'm glad you made it. Everything okay?

Yes, ma'am.

Hey.

Good luck.

Thanks.

You know, Lil, in spite
of my concerns, I got to admit,

you were right this time.

Wait, is that my shirt?

I knew he was gonna steal something.

See, you can't help some people.

I gave him the shirt, Bill.

He didn't have any good clothes to wear.

Besides, you haven't worn
that thing in years.

And like I said, you were very wise.

♪

Michael, this looks interesting.

Did you do this all on your own?

Um, I had some help.

Can you tell us about your project?

Um, it's a potato clock.

And how does it work?

Uh, it tells the time?

[Chuckles] The science, son.

Oh.

Um, well, the potatoes have acid,

which eats the nail,

and that makes... electrons.

The penny then picks up the electrons,

and that makes electricity.

Oh.

Can't wait to see you apply
yourself like this in the classroom.

Even if it was a low bar,
I was happy for Michael.

It was the first time I'd seen him smile

when he wasn't b*ating somebody up.

Let's just hope he remembered
that other things

could make him happy.

[Sighs] Our future scientist.

What have you made for us?

Today, I will be demonstrating

the principles
of a nuclear fission reactor

with a dash of pizzazz.

Nuclear power plants generate heat

by splitting unstable uranium atoms.

In my experiment,
I will be creating a similar

exothermic reaction by splitting oxygen

and unstable hydrogen peroxide

with potato yeast I made myself.

Safety first, though.

You never know when there's gonna be

a cool nuclear meltdown
of radioactive foam.

Just a moment.

You know, uh, potato yeast
can be a slow catalyst.

[Students murmuring]

Maybe it just needs a good stir.

Uh, the ratios are probably
a little off.

Uh, maybe I need a little bit
more hydrogen peroxide.

As my nuclear reactor turned
into a sad swamp,

I realized that I had been so distracted

by my mother and Michael

that I hadn't made my yeast properly.

Ta-da?

[Giggling]

My yeast must have d*ed.

Shame. I was really excited
for this one.

- [Laughter]
- I guess science is about failure, too.

I had never known this level of
embarrassment before.

Science was my thing.
How could I let this happen?

[Laughter]

I don't know what you're laughing at.

At least I did my project by myself.

You needed help from my mom

because your mom is so crazy,
she got locked up.

[Laughter]

♪

I'd finally vanquished the supervillain,

so why did it feel like I had lost?

Wait a minute.
Was I actually the villain?

♪

As kids, we don't pause to
think that every supervillain

probably has a complicated backstory.

And that superheroes don't
always do the right thing.

Or that there are some things
in this world that hurt

even more than getting b*at up.

♪

[Thunder rumbles]

♪

♪

♪

They announced the winner
of the science fair.

I didn't even make it
into the top three.

♪

I know I didn't deserve to win.

No, you didn't.

God don't like ugly, Dean.

Yikes. I guess that business-casual belt

was also a Lasso of Truth,
but I had it coming.

How you treat people comes back around.

Remember that.

I'm really sorry.

I expect you'll find a way to say that

to Michael one day, too.

Yes, ma'am.

I figure you'd want to start
practicing for next year.

Thank you.

All my mom wanted to do was
help someone less fortunate,

and I ruined it.

I wasn't a superhero at all,

but if I kept my head down
and watched closely,

I had the chance to learn
from an actual superhero...

my mom.

Maybe one day, in an alternate universe,

she'll have her own storyline.

Hopefully, it'll be a rare reboot

that's better than the original.

- Finally found a box big enough.
- Goodwill will be very happy.

I'm very proud of you, son.

I found a few more shirts
I'm not gonna use anymore.

Wh... That's my lucky belt.

Mnh-mnh. Trust me,
I'm doing you a favor.

But as disappointed as I was in myself,

the fact is in all comic book stories,

every great failure sets up
a sequel where the hero

gets a chance to redeem himself.

He just needs to take that
first step forward.