05x08 - Queen's Gambit

[bunniefuu]

No... I don't think

nervous is the right word.

And... and it's not
anxious, either.

- How about terrified?
- Yes. Bam.

That is exactly the word
I'm searching for.

- Argh.
- OK. Relax, Grandpa.

Just give me
a second... and there.

- 67.3%.
- See? I told you!

You're in the lead!

Well, no doubt thanks in part

to that awesome TV commercial
for your campaign.

- Now, hang on, guys.
- This is just a straw poll.

The real election is not
until tomorrow.

Nevertheless,
the people have spoken.

Well, talk is cheap,
and I need ballots.

Hey, early birds! You guys
were all gone before I got up.

Yeah. Uh, the straw poll
came in.

- And?
- Why don't you ask

- our new city councillor?
- Wow!

- Dad, that's awesome!
- Yeah, well, let's not

go counting chickens just yet.

Do you remember my home games,

- when I was a kid?
- Yeah.

Do you remember
what you told me every time

- before I hit the ice?
- Take your skate guards off.

- After that.
- That I was proud of you.

- That you were the best.
- And?

- And that you were gonna win.
- Aww.

I rest my case.

Matt Shade.

Oh. Hey, man. Long time.

What?

Sure. No problem.

Who was that?

The chef from
my old restaurant, Ethan Danes.

- Not the Ethan who...
- You remember?

How could I forget?

- GET OUT!
- But you agreed

- to do this interview.
- That was before I knew

you were an idiot. OUT!
Take your stinkin'...

Are you still recording?!
SHUT THE DAMN THING OFF!

- Hey, hey!
- That's an expensive camera!

GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN,
YOU SON OF A BITCH!

I SAID GET OUT!

OK. So Ethan may have
some issues.

- He should be locked up.
- Didn't he get sued

- by...
- Yeah.

Yes! The woman
that said that he...

He didn't deep-fry
her chihuahua.

Look. I know he may look like...

- Homicidal?
- Psychotic?

...passionate, but that's

what makes Ethan such a genius.

Once he redesigned our menu,

we were getting
five-star reviews.

And now, suddenly,
he needs PIs?

I wonder
who he threatened this time.

Excuse me. We're looking
for Ethan Danes.

Oh... you've found him.

- Ethan?
- And I have a mystery

only you can solve.

Ah...

♪ I see you and you see me ♪

♪ Watch you blowin' the lines
when you're makin' a scene ♪

♪ Oh boy, you've got to know ♪

♪ What my head overlooks ♪

♪ The senses will show
to my heart ♪

♪ When it's watching for lies
'cause you can't escape my ♪

♪ Private Eyes
They're watching you ♪

♪ Private Eyes ♪

♪ They're watching you,
watching you, watching you ♪

♪ Watching you ♪

So... what do we call you?

I'm still Ethan,
but this...

is Contessa Chablis.

Ah!

- And when did this...
- Four years ago now.

I kind of always wanted to,
but I never had the guts

to follow through.
And then, one day,

everything changed.

- And here we are.
- You own this place?

Mmhm. Used to be
a rundown supper club.

I put in a state-of-the-art
kitchen,

added a mirror ball and presto!

Nanette's, a high-end restaurant

featuring a nightly
drag spectacular.

Well, congratulations
on everything.

- Thank you.
- Are those your real eyelashes?

- Of course.
- Shut up.

So is the glue
that holds them on.

We'll talk.
But I do need your help

- as private investigators.
- Yeah, of course. What's up?

Nanette's is sponsoring
a street party tomorrow.

We're putting a stage out back

so we can showcase
our lovely ladies.

All the money will go
to the Rainbow Railroad.

It's a charity
that helps protect

LGBTQ communities
around the world

- from persecution and v*olence.
- That sounds awesome.

- How can we help?
- We've had a robbery.

Several wigs, gowns
and jewellery pieces

have gone missing from the club.

- Was the jewellery real?
- Uh, yeah.

The wigs were all custom builds,
designer gowns

just dripping
in gorgeous genuine crystals.

You always did have
expensive taste.

I remember my truffle invoices
from the restaurant.

- You know me.
- Go big or go home.

So we're talking thousands?

Tens of thousands.

And with the thief
still out there, I'm afraid

our fundraiser will be
the next target.

Why haven't you gone
to the police?

I needed to speak
to someone I trust.

So you want us to figure out
who's behind the theft?

I would love you more
than I already do, my friend.

Between rehearsing
the show tomorrow

and handling the catering,
I'm up to my ass in alligators.

Understood. Where did
the robbery take place?

Please, walk this way.

- Isaac, this is Matt and Angie.
- The PIs?

What, no trench coats?

- They're at the dry cleaner's.
- Along with our fedoras.

- Cute and sassy.
- Guys, Isaac,

my smartass partner...

in business and life.

Now, I must go find
that Public Service person.

They want my autograph...
the street party permit.

Isaac'll fill you in.

Did you really know Ethan
when he was

- a beer and not a cocktail?
- I sure did.

- Best chef I ever had.
- Oh, me too.

This where the thief got in?

That's right, Ms. Sherlock.

And they hammered
the lockup open.

Wow. Every girl's
dream closet.

But they didn't
take everything?

By my count, four gowns,

two dripping
in precious crystals,

four pairs of custom
embellished heels.

And, let me tell you, size 13

impostor Louboutins do not
grow on trees.

Plus a half a dozen wigs.

Do you think someone who works
here could be responsible?

No way. None of our girls
would pull that crap.

- We look out for each other.
- And how much jewellery

- is missing?
- Some earrings, some necklaces.

And some of it was costume, but
they snagged some real ice too.

What kind of thief steals

a couple wigs
and gowns and leaves

all this valuable stash behind?

You just sign right here,
and we are good to go.

Oh. Uh, one more thing.

Oh, here it comes. How much?

Oh, nothing like that.

We just need you to move
your performance stage

27 feet west along the alley
to give better access

- to emergency vehicles.
- That is not a problem.

In that case...

here is your permit.
Good luck with your fundraiser.

- Oh! Did Isaac get you sorted?
- Yeah.

Doesn't it strike you as odd
that not everything was stolen?

- It just strikes me as lucky.
- Maybe the thief was interrupted.

We're gonna need to talk
to your staff next.

- Maybe start with Maurice.
- He came

with the place. He's been here
longer than anyone.

Matt. We'll meet you over there
in a minute, sweetie.

- What's up?
- That's what I wanna know.

So... dish.

- Oh, no! No, no, no.
- We just work together.

Oh. So you're
still a dumb jock.

- Are you out of your mind?
- Oh, really!

Now who's the queen of denial?

Matty boy, I just don't want you
to make the same mistake I did.

- Which was what?
- Cheat myself out of years

of happiness because I was

too afraid to tell the truth...

to the people I loved.

Out of curiosity,
where were you last night

- after closing?
- Same place I always am...

in bed with the girlfriend,
praying to God she stops snoring

before I go insane.
Hey, there's a little game

I like to play.

Citrus or sweet?

- Citrus.
- Sweet.

- Huh.
- Uh, Ethan tells us

that you've been here longer
than any other employee.

- 22 years.
- It's like a second home.

So, um...

herbal or floral?

- Herbal.
- Floral.

And, um, I remember

from my restaurant days
bartenders are usually

one of the last ones
out after closing.

- Yeah, that's right.
- Final show ends at one.

If I do my wash down,
run my inventory,

I'm lucky to be
out the door by two.

Spicy or smooth?

- Spicy.
- Smooth.

Why am I not surprised?

Last night, you didn't happen
to see anybody suspicious

- hanging around?
- Yeah, maybe an angry customer?

Nothing hinky I could spot.

You know, average crowd,
average night.

Now, I don't mind admitting

you two are
a bit of a challenge.

All right. I want you
to be straight with me.

- It's really good.
- It's delicious.

Maybe I'll put it in the bar
menu. Call it Opposites Attract.

Hey, you know who you should be
talking to? Chantal.

She owns Taffeta's. It is
a drag club in the west end.

- What's her beef?
- Well, beyond the usual

east end-west end rivalry,

Chantal lost her best performer
to this club.

Bet she wasn't
too happy about that.

She was in here a while ago
screaming blue m*rder.

Guess we're heading
across town. Thank you.

So maybe it wasn't
just a simple robbery.

Maybe Chantal was
out for revenge,

trying to sabotage
Ethan's street party.

- Possibly.
- I'm still gonna get Zoe

to scan Ethan's socials
for haters.

We should probably check
the club's financials too.

Why? You think
he's hiding something?

I just wanna cover
all the bases.

For all we know, Ethan could've
staged the robbery

- to collect the insurance.
- Oh, come on.

- I know he's your friend, but...
- Why hire us then?

Maybe to make his claims
look more legit?

You're damn right,
I was pissed. That little diva

could barely put
one foot in front of the other

when she came in here,
begging for a gig.

And after you'd invested
time and money in her career...

And turned her
into a star performer...

Which took all of my
Henry Higgins, let me tell you.

She left Taffeta's
for Ethan's club.

Just ripped my heart out
of my chest and bashed it

- to a thousand pieces.
- So you wanted revenge.

- It's totally understandable.
- Look,

I know that I made a few...

drunken threats,
but that's all they were.

- You sure about that?
- Just between us girls,

I'm not proud of my outburst.

The last thing
I wanna do is perpetuate

a bitchy queen stereotype.

In fact, ever since
that unfortunate incident,

these luscious lips haven't
touched one drop of alcohol.

- Really?
- And I've been meditating.

Ohm...

Can't you just feel
our hearts...

resonating?

- Sure.
- Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, just to be clear, you...

- didn't break into Ethan's club?
- No way!

I'm all about forgiveness
and love now.

That doesn't seem
so forgiving.

Baby steps, honey.

Gaga wasn't built in a day.

So you have an alibi
for the night of the robbery?

Yeah, I was in Montréal,
talent scouting.

Any witnesses
that we could check with?

Oh, absolutely. Cher, Madonna,

Judy... oh, and it was Montréal,

so you know there were
at least three Celines. Heh.

Oh, my God. Their poor little
hearts just go on and on

- and on.
- All right. Thank you.

- You talked to Lips yet?
- I beg your pardon?

Professionally known
as... Apocalips?

- Ethan's DJ?
- Now, I'm not one to spread gossip...

- Perish the thought.
- But I heard that boy

just sold his car,
camera and even part

of his precious vinyl stash.

Sounds to me like somebody
needed some quick cash.

- Mr. Apocalips?
- Let me guess.

You must be d*ck.
You must be Tracy.

Close enough. Ethan told you
we'd be asking some questions?

Yeah. That man may know
his way around a kitchen,

but he knows squat
about sound systems.

And that's what you're doing
down here in the basement?

Just trying some cable out
for the outdoor party.

Could you put your finger here
while I connect the splitter?

- Sure.
- Gotta minimize

the through connects
to reduce signal degradation.

Are you wearing contacts?

Or are your eyes
really that blue?

No. Those are really

- my eyes.
- Huh.

You can let go now.

So we're just
trying to nail down

where everyone was
the night of the robbery.

- I was at home in bed asleep.
- Alone?

Well, everyone has
an off night.

So no witnesses.

Well, it's not like
I'd need an alibi.

- And why is that?
- Because I would never rob

this place. I mean,
that'd be like stealing money

- out of my own pocket.
- I don't understand.

Ethan's been talking
about expanding the nets.

Last month, he opened up
the club to private investors.

Oh. That's why you were
selling off your stuff.

There were only
so many shares available.

I knew Maurice and a couple
of girls were jumping on board,

so I scrounged
enough together to also say

- I'm a proud co-owner.
- And why would you rob a place

- you have a stake in?
- As smart as she is beautiful.

What are you doing this weekend?

Have dinner with me.

All weekend?

Think about it.

- You hear that scream too?
- Sure did.

Maurice!

He's dead.

So the witness says
she saw the k*ller take off

- down the alleyway.
- So you have a description?

Well, she's
pretty freaked out.

All she remembers is
blonde hair,

high heels
and a blur of sequins.

Does that sound
like someone you know?

It sounds like Ethan.

Did... did you
just run that red light?

- Yeah, it was yellow. Mostly.
- Just relax!

Danica just took him downtown
for questioning.

- Ethan is not a k*ller.
- I agree. Mostly.

But just because he's
passionate about his craft

doesn't make him
a homicidal maniac.

- I understand.
- I mean, even if he suspected

Maurice of the theft,
he would just turn him in.

He wouldn't k*ll him
in cold blood.

OK, but they have to be related,
right? The robbery and the m*rder?

Too much
of a coincidence otherwise.

And if the same person's
responsible for both,

then... I wonder if Maurice

found out something that made
him a thr*at to the thief?

A thr*at that had
to be silenced.

Why didn't you
report the robbery?

There was no point.

You guys wouldn't have
done anything. Come on.

You know there is no love lost

between the cops
and my community.

You know, I've been
to your club... with my wife.

I took her there
for her birthday last year,

and you brought the house down.
You were amazing.

Thank you.

My point is not everybody
likes to be stereotyped.

Fair enough.

There's been a m*rder,
and I have to ask you

a couple questions.

Now, your drag costume matches
the one that witnesses say

- they saw the k*ller wearing.
- Somebody saw a tall queen

in a sequined gown
and blonde wig.

That description could fit
a dozen girls

in the east end alone.

And for that matter,
the wardrobe stolen

from my club is similar.

Yes, and it really
would've helped

if you'd reported
the items stolen.

I don't know
how reliable your witness is.

It was night.
The alley was dark,

and from what
my partner told me,

- that woman was terrified.
- That's all true.

And we might not even be having
this conversation

- except for this.
- And what is this?

Your rap sheet.

- OK. We're done.
- And?

So I think I believe him,
but it's not up to me.

Well, what about
Maurice's girlfriend?

So, at the time of the m*rder,
she was at a hen party

- with half a dozen girlfriends.
- Are you holding Ethan?

Yeah. We're just waiting
on initial forensics.

Uniforms found
a bloodstained hammer

out behind the back of the club.
And in addition

to being the m*rder w*apon,
I'll bet it's the same hammer

used to smash the wardrobe
lockup in the club.

Danica, there's no way
that Ethan used...

Do you know
that he has a rap sheet?

- He's got a record?
- For what?

Aggravated as*ault.

You didn't know that Ethan put
two guys in the hospital?

I think I'd remember
something like that.

- Danica's just doing her job.
- She has no choice.

Yeah. I know. Doesn't mean
I have to like it.

Hey, bosses...

what if we're looking
at this case the wrong way?

- All ears.
- Well...

the robbery and the m*rder have
to be related, right?

- It stands to reason.
- Question is how.

Maybe the robbery was
the first part of a setup.

The thief steals some wardrobe
to use as a disguise

when he or she kills Maurice.

Do you think the k*ller is
trying to frame Ethan?

Yeah. Maybe.

So we're looking
at a personal vendetta?

Anyone have it in for Ethan?

Somebody from
his restaurant days?

Or one of the guys
he put in the hospital.

That's great news, babe.

I love you too.

Ethan's been released.

- That is good news.
- It'd be better news

- if they knew who the k*ller was.
- Danica's doing her best.

- You can trust her.
- Yeah, I don't trust that easy.

- Especially not cops.
- It's just that with...

- Ethan's as*ault record...
- Hey, that's not fair.

- All that crap was my fault.
- What do you mean?

A few years ago, I was
walking home late one night

after work. Ran into a couple
of drunk muscle heads.

Yeah. They tried to use me

as their own personal
punching bag.

But, luckily, I was sober,

and they were high,
so I was holding my own.

Until... one of them
pulled a Kn*fe.

As he cut me here,

I looked up, and I saw
this gorgeous 200 pounds

of manliness just running
across the street.

- Ethan.
- Yeah.

Yeah, he plowed
right into those guys

and just started b*ating
the crap out of them.

My own personal superhero.

By the time the cops arrived,
the Kn*fe had disappeared.

So it was their word
against yours.

The cops didn't believe
that Ethan was a good Samaritan.

Even with my testimony,
they charged him,

along with the other two,
with aggravated as*ault.

Do you know what happened
to those guys?

Who knows? That was four
years ago, and they were just

passing through on their way
back to their one tooth town.

So not likely suspects.

Well, at least you and Ethan
had one hell of a meet-cute.

It's the one good thing
to come out of that night.

We clicked. First, as friends.

Ethan said that one day,
everything changed.

Was that because of you?

Well, he always knew
who he really was.

But it can be scary.

You know, sometimes,
a baby bird just needs

a little nudge out of the nest
before he can fly.

And then, you both went in
on the club. Right?

Starting off,
we were strictly business.

The club was doing well,
so, you know,

why complicate things?

- It's my daughter.
- I gotta take this. Excuse me.

Hey, honey.

You know, after a few months
of working together

day and night,
Ethan and I sort of...

- well, damn.
- Weren't you worried?

I mean, that it would blow up...

the business, the relationship?

All poor excuses we use
to protect ourselves

- from the truly terrifying thing.
- Which is?

Love, babydoll.

Oh. Yeah. That old thing.

You know, now,
we're stronger than ever.

And it took a leap,
that's for sure,

but holy Barbara
what we would've missed out on!

You know what I'm saying?

- Maybe I'm just...
- not much for leaping.

Well, you just gotta trust

that the one you love will be
there to catch you.

If Maurice's death wasn't
a revenge k*lling, we're back

to the idea that he may have
known something

- about the robbery.
- Something that got him k*lled.

This is Maurice's locker.

Well, if there was a clue
in there about the robbery,

- looks like it's gone forever.
- Maybe. Maybe not.

Isaac said Maurice drove
a blue sedan.

Something like that one?

- Angie, get down!
- Ah!

- Did you get a plate number?
- Just a partial.

It might be enough to track it.
Did you see their face?

- Nah, just a blonde wig.
- At least we know we're

- getting closer to the truth.
- Even if it gets us k*lled.

All the parking lot attendant
remembers is

a lanky blonde. Said he was
mesmerized by all the sequins.

What about the security cam
near the booth?

I checked it. The k*ller went
straight for the car.

Avoided the camera
like she knew it was there.

If Maurice was hiding something,
she might already have it.

And if she does,
she'll dump the vehicle.

I gave Zoe the partial plate
number. She's already on it.

- All right, good.
- Oh. And, by the way, thanks.

For calling Zoe?

No. Jules told me
how supportive you've been

of her and Don
and this whole election thing.

- I didn't do much.
- I just put up the poster

in the agency window,
and... Jules and I handed out

some flyers together.
Besides, it was fun.

Well, she really enjoys
spending time with you.

Well, the feeling is mutual.

By now, I almost feel
like part of the family.

You are part
of the family, Everett.

Oh. That's Zoe.

She called in a favour
to a friend

at Traffic Operations.
A camera just caught

our blue sedan heading
through an alley

downtown 10 minutes ago.

So our mysterious blonde
dumps the car.

Probably missed her
by seconds.

That is the cleanest interior
I have ever seen.

Yeah, a lot of bartenders are
neat freaks.

If Maurice was hiding anything
in there, it's long gone.

OK. Say I'm our k*ller.

I've already been spotted
by a couple of witnesses,

- and I'm driving a stolen car.
- Yeah. I'd wanna change

from Danielle to Dan as soon
as I could find a blind spot.

Like an alley?

Rock, paper, scissors.

Ha ha!

Be careful. Watch out
for broken glass and...

- rotting food, hazardous waste.
- Your concern is overwhelming.

Oh, did I mention
giant cockroaches

the size of your head?

Ugh.

No cockroaches, but...

I did find a blonde.

Hey, Zoe.

Did Danica find out
anything about Maurice?

Says he was a boy scout
Not even a parking ticket.

- Sorry.
- It was worth a sh*t.

- But here's the good news.
- Or... not good news.

Actually, it could be seen
as bad news. It depends...

- Zoe.
- Right. Our bartender...

Maxed out his credit cards
with cash advances,

and he recently got
a loan for $10 000.

Yeah. Apocalips said
that Maurice just bought in

to the club. He must've
needed some quick cash.

- Guy wasn't making a fortune.
- Also, he was behind

on child support payments.

The weird thing is the bank loan

only has a six-month term on it.

Like he was expecting
a quick windfall.

So if Maurice didn't commit
the robbery himself...

maybe he knew who did.

Hello! Now I'm definitely not

gonna finish this lace front.

Something borrowed
or something new?

I can do May West to Celine
and every shade in between.

But you are definitely not
a cheap queen.

So... why haven't I
seen you before?

Let's just say
he's new to drag.

- Don't be scared, honey.
- It won't change who you are.

- It'll reveal the true you.
- Yeah. We're more interested

in revealing who wore this wig.
Do you recognize it?

I'm... I'm a friend of Ethan's.
Ethan and Isaac hired us

to look into the thefts
at their club.

- You should've led with that.
- I've been finishing up

a dozen fierce ass wigs
for tonight's

Rainbow Railroad fundraiser.

OK. So it's an old one of mine.

At least... the previous
incarnation of me,

before I became the one.

Do you remember
who you made it for?

I've crowned
too many queens to count.

But it's from my organic period,
and I only do synthetics now.

Well, we think
the k*ller was wearing it

when they m*rder*d Maurice.

Poor Mau. I couldn't
believe it when I heard.

- You knew him?
- He may have been

a rough diamond, but...

oh... how he sparkled.

Did you see him recently?

No. I used to work

at Nanette's,
long before Ethan bought it.

It paid my way
through design school.

Back then, Maurice and I were
just busboys.

But we used to meet like spies
in that dusty basement.

We'd drink stolen champagne
that he hid behind an old grate.

- What is it?
- It smells like aftershave.

Yeah. It was worn
by a man. We know that.

But, clearly,
what you don't know...

is that no doll would ever
cross-contaminate.

Cologne, yes.
Drugstore aftershave, never.

And see here?
There's no glue on the hairline.

And this lace is stained
with foundation.

The makeup goes on
before the wig's in place,

- not after.
- And...

- all that means?
- Wake up, ladies!

It means you're not
looking for a queen.

Tell me you've tried on

women's clothing before? I mean,
I've worn plenty of men's.

Heh. Yeah, it's not
exactly the same thing.

Besides, you look
good in anything.

Like that time you wore
one of my hockey jerseys

when you stayed
in the guest room.

Oh, yeah. That night.

Well, you shouldn't undersell
yourself there, Shade.

I think you'd
probably look great in...

chaps and a sombrero.
Aren't athletes supposed

- to be open to anything?
- Well, if it helps their game, sure!

We had a goalie once
who wore a leopard print garter

for an entire playoff run.
We wouldn't let him take it off.

Well, I bet that wasn't
just 'cause you were winning.

This must be the grate
Raphael was talking about.

Hey, I think I found something.

Looks like a... piece
from one of the stolen gowns.

Huh.

There's more to this case
than meets the eyeliner.

How about this?

Nanette's is robbed.

The thief stashes
the stolen dresses in the grate,

accidentally tearing
a piece off of one of them.

- So maybe it's an inside job.
- They...

hide the stolen goods
behind the grate,

where Maurice discovers them.

Then he gets bumped off
for his trouble...

Why would you m*rder somebody
over a pair of Manolos

- and some costume jewellery?
- That's a good point. Revenge?

It's not an east end-
west end rivalry.

Yeah, and Chantal's alibi is
as tight as her fishnets.

- She was in Montreal.
- Which brings us

back to Maurice. OK.
Maurice discovers

the stolen items
in his favourite hidey-hole.

He figures out who the robber
must've been and blackmails him.

Which is how he planned
on getting out of debt.

Only the thief doesn't
pay him.

- He kills him.
- Yeah.

Over stolen wigs and gowns?

- No.
- No.

- None of this makes any sense.
- Also...

why would you rob Nanette's
the day before a fundraiser

that would've put
at least 100K in Ethan's safe?

Oh, my God.

If Maurice would've just come
to me, I would've loaned him

- the money to buy in to the club.
- Oh, you know Mau.

- He was always too proud to beg.
- I wish we had better news,

guys, but we need more time
to figure things out.

And with Maurice's k*ller
still out there...

You want us
to postpone the fundraiser.

Just for a few days.

It's up to you, babe.

Liza had vocal cord surgery,
two hip replacements,

and three miscarriages,
and she did not miss

her Broadway opening.

No. She sang louder
and better than ever.

When we opened this place,
we wanted it to be a beacon

for the community.
I'm with Ethan.

- Our voices will be heard.
- If that's how you feel...

we'll be right there with you.

OK. Thank you.

Remember what this is
all about, girls.

We honour Maurice,
but we sing and dance

and glitter for our brothers
and sisters around the world,

and we're gonna say with
one voice: We are still here,

and we can do anything together.

And if someone needs help,
we can show them how to find

their own yellow brick road
to a better life.

Let's go. Break legs. Ooh!

You there, partner?

I'm thinking about
your drag queen name.

Can't believe it took you
this long. What is it?

Eye Shadow. Get it?

- It's not bad.
- I'm, uh,

- seeing a lot of latex.
- And I'm seeing a lot of chafing.

Well, you've gotta suffer
for your art, baby.

They make a good team,
Ethan and Isaac.

Looks like they found
a way to have it all.

Hey, handsome.

Well...

Raphael said the wig
that we found had foundation

in the hairline and no glue,

so I was looking
for something loose and sloppy.

Look, forget it.
Can you see anything?

Nothing yet, but I think
the bad guys'll probably wait

to make their move until
the money's all been collected.

Here we go. Stay in touch.

- Copy that.
- Enjoy the show, Scarlet.

Hello, darlings!

All that glitters
may not be gold,

but if that bitch shines,
you better believe

- I'm gonna use it, right?
- Yas!

- ♪ I feel my heart start ♪
- Get it!

♪ To pitter and patter, mm ♪

♪ I feel my blood rush ♪

- Woo!
- Yeah!

♪ Faster and fast... ♪

♪ No control ♪

♪ Of my own soul ♪

- Apocalips seems preoccupied.
- He just missed a couple of cues.

Like what you've seen so far?

Open up your hearts
and open up your purses.

And, just as I promised,

not a toe touch, wheelbarrow
or heel kick in sight.

Hey, uh, I'm gonna
follow the money.

- Be careful.
- We are here

for the cash, but we are not
bringing the trash.

Woohoo!

Not, today,
ladies, no. Today, we have

- something special.
- Shade, DJ's on the move.

- Shade? Where are you?
- A blonde

and beautiful bombshell
descended from Heaven

to entertain us mere mortals.
Please, welcome to the stage

Contessa Chablis!

Hello...

you gorgeous creatures!

Thank you for coming out. Oh!

Some more than others.
Haha! Call me.

Oh, I love spending time

with you, my royal courtiers.

Angie, are you there?

I asked you here
to raise some money

for the Rainbow Railroad,
darlings,

because none of us are free
and safe until everyone

is free and safe.

Now, let's get
this gorgeous party started!

Angie!

Take it easy. They're gone.

- How long was I out?
- Only about 30 seconds.

They had a car waiting,
but the plates were covered.

- Help! Help!
- The bank was robbed!

Police!

- Help!
- Help!

Please, please, someone, help!

So apparently,
all the perps wore ski masks

and goggles. I've got an APB out

on the car,
but without the plates...

- What about our blonde?
- No one remembers her.

All the employees,
the customers, they were held

face down on the floor,
held at gunpoint.

Security cameras?

The branch manager's
getting us a copy of the file.

All the cash was stolen
from the vault.

Witnesses on the street
say they saw

people running out of the bank,
but here's the kicker:

- No one saw the robbers leave.
- It's crazy, where did they go?

Apparently, they vanished
into thin air.

- OK. The alarms go off.
- The bank employees rush out.

- No heist crew.
- So how does the blonde

in the alley connect
to the robbery?

You know, that's
the million-dollar question.

Witnesses told Danica
the perps wore ski masks

- and hoodies.
- Well, if I was

gonna do a bank job
and then change into a doll

to make my getaway,

I'd want to put
my makeup and hair on

at home, then lose
the hoodie. And voila.

Voila. Walk out of the bank
as an employee or a customer.

- Mm-hmm.
- OK.

Do you see anything?

Stop.

Rewind.

See them? They're wearing
my stolen gowns,

those three faux queens.

It is either
their first time out...

Or they're not there
for the music.

Look at that one.

Her wig is loose.
Just like Rafael said.

Look. There's a tear
in her gown that matches

the piece that we found
in the basement grate.

But the sequined blonde, her
gown's so tight, there's no way

she's got the bank loot
on her. Unless...

How far did they ask you
to move the stage?

Just 20-some feet
down the alley.

There's the truck
that moved the stage.

Where's that truck now?

- What are you doing here?
- Just following the money.

- You lost me.
- You missed some cues today.

Very unprofessional.
Something weighing on your mind?

If people found out
you've lost the passion,

the only places you'll be
spinning are bingo halls

and jellyfish festivals.

Maybe he's
officially retired now.

Hmm. He's got enough money in his
golden parachute to pay for the lawyers.

- What lawyers?
- To b*at the m*rder rap.

- I had no beef with Maurice.
- Oh no?

Even after he found the stolen
clothes in the basement grate

and put two and two together?
All he wanted was a little

hush money to buy a piece
of his beloved Nanette's.

Don't have time for this.

- Looks heavy. Need a hand?
- How about a foot?

Oh! Oh!

Never bring a blade
to a glitter-g*n fight.

How about you start
spinning some truth for us?

We know you didn't pull
the bank job on your own.

- Bravo!
- Vince.

You couldn't keep
your mouth shut.

- No, man, I didn't say anything.
- He didn't have to.

We realized the Public Services
department has access

- to city blueprints.
- We know you didn't want

the stage moved
because of some city bylaw.

You needed it moved to hide
the manhole in the alley.

Yeah, keep talking. You're
just digging deeper graves.

Hey, man, no more k*lling.

- Keep your mouth shut.
- Too late. We already know

that you and your boys robbed
the bank then changed

into the stolen drag clothes
in the sewer tunnel.

You climbed up to the manhole
under the stage,

stashed the money in the trailer
and disappeared into the crowd.

- Ladies first.
- No, no, wait!

- What the hell are you doing?
- Trying to save your life.

- I can save my own damn life!
- No, you can't.

- You already got sh*t once.
- Enough!

I've always wanted
to g*n butt a bureaucrat.

Wow! Not even

a bank robbery could k*ll
this party.

Looks like
an even bigger turnout

- than before.
- Shake it!

Well, I'll be.

Looks like we've got
another party to go to.

- Don won?
- By a landslide.

Haha! That's fantastic!

Something to celebrate?

- Ah, it's been a good day.
- We foiled a bank heist.

You made a bunch of money
for the Rainbow Railroad.

And it's all thanks
to you two.

It's that time!

Well, he certainly knows how
to make an entrance, doesn't he?

He certainly does.

You didn't get a full glass
of Chablis earlier,

so tonight,
I'm gonna make that up to you.

May we all

celebrate our truth

and love the someone we love.

♪ Baby, do you understand now ♪

♪ Sometimes, I feel
a little mad ♪

♪ But don't you know
that no one alive ♪

♪ Can always be an angel ♪

♪ And when things go wrong ♪

♪ I seem bad ♪

♪ I'm just a soul ♪

♪ Whose intentions are good ♪

♪ Oh, Lord, please
don't let me be misunderstood ♪

♪ Baby, sometimes,
I'm so carefree ♪

♪ With a joy that's hard ♪

♪ To hide ♪

♪ Sometimes, it seems ♪

♪ That all I have to do
is worry ♪

♪ And then you're bound
to see my other side ♪

♪ I'm just a soul
whose intentions are good ♪

♪ Oh, Lord, please
don't let me be misunderstood ♪

♪ I'm just a soul ♪

♪ Whose intentions are good ♪

♪ Oh, Lord ♪

♪ Please don't let me be ♪

♪ Misunderstood ♪

Woo! Wow!

Hey.

Whoa! Pecorino cheese!

- Sal's never disappoints.
- Yeah.

Listen, uh, I want
to thank you, Matt.

- For what?
- For your pep talk

yesterday.
It meant a lot to me.

Ah, you were always
there for me, Dad.

I'm just glad it worked out.
I heard it wasn't even close.

83% of the vote?

It was a Saturday m*ssacre.

- The people have spoken.
- Green space over greed.

Yes! I can't take
all the credit, though.

Jules is a force.
I'm so proud of that kid.

- Yeah, me too.
- Where's the corkscrew?

Uh, it's in one
of those drawers over there.

Hey, have you seen Jules?
I want to congratulate her.

Yeah. She and Liam are
on the couch in the living room.

Hey, have you guys
seen Jules?

Yeah, she asked me for
a blanket a couple minutes ago.

- Why would she need a blanket?
- The heat's on.

Probably so she and Liam can
snuggle up on the porch...

under the moonlight.

Yeah, I should probably go see
if they're hungry.

- Oh, they're hungry, all right.
- I meant for pizza!

You see the smoke coming out
of his ears?

They've been living together in
the coach house for how long now?

No expiration date
on being a father.

OK. I'll follow you out.

- See you, Becca.
- 'Night, Ange.

Hey, guys.

- Mr. Shade.
- Hey, Dad.

He thought
you'd want some pizza.

- Oh, thanks, Dad.
- Yeah, you can just

- leave it on the table.
- Yeah, but it's nice and hot

right now; You wouldn't
want it to go cold.

- You're right.
- Let's take it back to our place.

- Thanks, Dad. Great idea!
- No, no. I meant

that you could
eat it here...

- Bye!
- See ya!

Love you both.

Yeah. Love you too, honey.

Isn't young love great?

- And stupid.
- So stupid.

When I was 14,

I jumped off the roof
of a garage to impress a boy.

God forbid you'd
just talk to him.

When I was Jules' age,
I was just a...

Dumb jock?

It's funny. Ethan called me
that yesterday.

What? Why?

No reason.

Point is,

him and Isaac make it
look pretty easy.

All of it.

What "all of it"?

Well, you know.

Business, friendship,

whole enchilada.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess they do.

I should go.
It's a workday tomorrow.

Well, yeah, it's
a workday for me too.

I know, but it's
a family thing, and...

Yeah, you're part of the
family. Why don't you stick around.

I'll see you tomorrow, Shade.

Aren't you tired of this?

Tired of what?

This thing that we do
where we... get close

and then you pull away,

I pull away,
you date someone,

I date someone,
but it never lasts.

Wait, are you blaming me
for you and Jada?

No.

Do you know why
none of my relationships

for the past five years
have worked?

- Don't do this.
- Because no matter who I'm with,

I always compare
them to you,

and they always
come up short.

- Stop it, Shade. Stop it.
- Because you

are the most perfect woman
for me

- that I have ever met.
- Shut up, Shade.

OK? I don't want to talk
about these things.

I don't want to talk
about how you give me

the baby corn in your Thai food
even though you love it or how

when I woke up in the hospital,
you were there

holding my hand or...
how you're always there for me.

I don't want to talk.

Wow.

Yeah.

Haha.

- Son of a bitch.
- Made me kiss you first.

- Yeah, I guess I did.
- Yeah.

So what do we do now?

I have absolutely no idea.

Crap.