03x07 - If the Shoe Fits...

[bunniefuu]

MARY JANE: Previously
on Being Mary Jane...

Patrick, you're already
an hour behind today.

- No, I'm getting better.
- No, I don't need better.

If you wanna work at KO
Cola, you have to perform.

I am required to be on the
ground in Syria and Nigeria.

GREG: The last thing
that we need to do

is to send a recently outed reporter

in the middle of hostile territory.

- It's SNC's call!
- You have some nerve...

I quit.

Do you really think it's worth it?

They're not letting
us be real journalists.

We're puppets, Mary Jane.

Yeah, well paid puppets.

And?

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Guess who's back?

You found my summer bag.

Oh, you've gotta stop doubting me.

My first name is Fendi

and my last name is Birkin, baby.

(LAUGHING)

SALESMAN: Yes, Miss Paul,
that's how you do it.

Oh, you're gonna have all these
heifers wanting to ketchup,

no mustard.

I need to see it with
my work outfit, though.

I don't know why, but go do your thing.

Yes, life has been given.

I told you, you can rock this
bag with everything.

How much is it?

(SIGHING) If you have to ask.

That looks like a birthday bag to me.

ASSISTANT: Oh, I'd say so.

SALESMAN: Now you know you'll
make that $ , back.

Thank you. Swipe.

It's good.

- It's the best.
- It's an investment.

- Absolutely.
- Right.

NIECY: Girl, this Bump 'n Go
will smooth, straighten,

and tame your hair and give
it the body that it needs.

- The key to it is the Ultra Ceramic Tourmaline technology.
- Hmm-mmm.

It guarantees a smooth,
straight emulsion that won't

that won't pull out this
beautiful head of hair.

I'm not gonna front.

This do how my hair lay.

But $ , though?

I'd have to sell one of
my kids to afford this.

- Sorry, girl.
- I understand, girl. No worries.

But real talk.

You need to be doing
hair, not selling these.

KIKI: I told you nobody was
gonna buy those expensive-ass

- flat irons, Niecy.
- Where did you come from and why?

(LAUGHING) I'm just saying.

I sold three today, so...

So, you're buying lunch, right?

No, I'm brown-baggin' it today.

Again? Girl, you never eat with us.

Well, I'm trying to save up money.

Treyvion is always in my
pockets with his big-ass feet.

He grew out of those shoes
that I got him two weeks ago.

I go through the same
thing with Jaycion.

He's wearin' a T and
he's barely walkin'.

Yeah, and you know, I've gotta give

my grandparents some
money for watching him.

Girl, why? They're grandparents.

They like watching kids.

Girl, you need to start
looking out for yourself.

You've worn those
leggings so many times,

they can probably stand up on their own.

(WOMEN LAUGHING)

(CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY)

I'm just saying.

Listen, I don't have money

to buy clothes for myself and my kids.

I just don't.

KIKI: That's what I mean,
girl. You need to work the mall.

I am working at the mall.
What are you talking about?

- No, I mean "work the mall."
- Oh...

- Today's pay day, right?
- Hmm-mmm.

My girl Brenda down at Wet Seal

is gonna hook us up with
her employee discount.

- Why?
- Because Chante hooked her up

with hers last week at her job.

You get one, right?

Yeah, I get %.

You need to come with us.

Brenda will hook you up
and whenever she needs

a flat iron, you can
just return the favor.

- That's how we do.
- That's how we do... Why you touching me?

- You don't know me.
- Okay, okay.

This only ?

(ALL LAUGHING)

SALESMAN: You'll make
that $ , back.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Hello?

Oh, perfect. I'm coming right out.

(MESSAGE ALERT CHIMES)

Oh, just a sec.

Happy Birthday to me. Set it up.

- Happy Birthday.
- Thank you.

♪ All I do is win, win,
win no matter what ♪

♪ Got money on my mind
I can never get enough ♪

♪ And every time I step
up in the building ♪

- ♪ Everybody hands go up ♪
- MARY JANE: ♪ Everybody hands go up ♪

- ♪ And they stay there ♪
- ♪ And they stay there ♪

- ♪ And they stay there ♪
- ♪ And they stay there ♪

- ♪ And they stay there ♪
- ♪ And they stay there ♪

- ♪ Up down, up down, up down ♪
- ♪ Up down, up down, up down ♪

- ♪ 'Cause all I do ♪
- ♪ 'Cause all I do ♪

- ♪ Is win, win, win ♪
- ♪ Is win, win, win ♪

- ♪ And if you goin' in ♪
- ♪ And if you goin' in ♪

- ♪ Put your hands in the air ♪
- ♪ Put your hands in the air ♪

- ♪ Make 'em stay there ♪
- ♪ Make 'em stay there ♪

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

MARY JANE: I can't believe you.

This picture doesn't work here?

That you're selling your house.

Save the theatrics, MJ.

You knew I was going to go to Nigeria.

It's not like you read it
on my Facebook or something.

- It still feels the same.
- Okay.

And why are you moving things around?

I like your house the way it is.

I have a man that's
interested in my house already

and I want him to see the
house in its best light.

What's wrong with your feet?

New shoes.

I see why they call them Red Bottoms.

Look at the bottom of my feet.

(SIGHING) Three words.

Keep the mystery.

A blow dryer, ten minutes at a time.

It'll loosen up the leather
in your shoes. No biggie.

See, now, that right there,

the fact that you even know that

is all the more reason you have to stay.

Who else is gonna give
me random fashion facts?

Oh, come on, girl, you're gonna be fine.

That's what the internet is for.

You know that's not why
Nigerians use the internet.

(MARK LAUGHING)

All them damn email scams.

Uncle Owajewan just hit me the other day

talking about "I got
ten million dollars,

"but I'm gonna need your
bank account information."

Easy. Nigeria has done nothing to you.

Nigeria has taken my
friend and I don't like it.

It's just not the news
I needed to hear today,

- especially today, of all days.
- (MARK SIGHING)

What's going on today?

Are you kidding me?

MARK: (SIGHING) No, Mary Jane.

There's just so much going
on in my mind that's gotta...

- Can you just tell me?
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)

I hope you get bubble guts
in Nigeria. How about that?

You know, that's not funny.

Hey, Patrick, I knew
you wouldn't forget.

- PATRICK: (OVER PHONE) Mom had another flare up.
- What?

PATRICK: Yeah, she fell
and bumped her head.

The doctors kept her overnight.

She was in the hospital?

Oh, she's fine, Mary Jane.

We just brought her home.

I'm on my way.

MARK: Everything okay?

- Patrick!
- Shh!

I just got Mom to sleep.

(SOFTLY) Why was Mom going
up and down the stairs anyway?

This was bound to happen.

Well, she's hard-headed. You know that.

They need to move to a one-level.

Yeah, right. Let me know how that goes.

Something's gotta change.

Why didn't you call me?

I'm always gonna be at work,
but that's no reason not to

tell me my mother's in
the freakin' hospital.

Well, you've been through a lot.

Thought we could handle this one.

- Okay.
- She just needs to rest, slow down a bit,

and she'll be back to
her old stubborn ways.

Oh, joy. What are you making?

It's a roasted carrot turmeric soup.

I read that turmeric is a
good anti-inflammatory herb.

It'll help Mom with her joint pain.

But you're making her a cake.

That's the last thing she needs.

Uh, D'Asia asked me to bake my
famous chocolate triple-fudge cake.

I love that cake.

Well, I'll save you a slice.

Oh, you're gonna save me a slice.

How about I save you a slice?

- Oh, nah, nah, Letta, that's for me and my niece.
- Oh!

What are you doing here?

- Oh, Mom fell. Didn't you hear?
- Yeah, I know Mom fell.

But you fly across the country
'cause Mom fell?

She's my mother, Letta.

I know, she's mine, too, but
she's fallen hundreds of times.

Why would you k*ll your frequent
flyer miles 'cause Mom slipped?

Look, y'all don't love her like I do.

(LAUGHING)

Whatever.

How's L.A.?

It's cool.

Profitable. (EXHALES LOUDLY)

I bet.

Are you staying out of trouble?

Letta, just 'cause Mom fell, doesn't
mean we need to stand in for her.

I know, right, chill.

I got this.

Oh, you got this.

Hmm-mmm. Hmm-mmm.

So, you're baking that cake for D'Asia.

I thought D'Asia didn't like chocolate.

Well, I guess she does now.
(LAUGHING)

And you take a red-eye across the
country because Mom slipped.

What other reason do I have?

Oh, you guys are funny.

What? Oh, y'all are funny.

Funny what?

Y'all are funny.

Oh, play dumb, play dumb,
'cause you're good at it.

I gotta go, but this is good.

This is good. This is good.

What's she laughing at?

I don't know. Hey, hey,
are you open after work?

We need you for the night shift to help

Mama to the bathroom and stuff.

Oh, yeah, to come back and help.

Sure!

'Cause I'm helpful.

I'll be back tonight
to "help."

What's wrong with you?

Oh, hey, tell Mom
"Get well soon, kiddo!"

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

- What's she talking about?
- I don't know.

MARY JANE: You guys are funny.

(PATRICK LAUGHING)

DELIVERYMAN: Watch your
back there.

Excuse me.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Hey, buddy... How's it going?

Hey.

I'm just trying to finish up these orders
before I head over to the Blue Grill.

I'm trying to get them to try
a few cases of our bacon soda.

Well, if anyone can sell
that crap, you can.

Hey, I'm about to take a donut
break, if you're interested.

- Oh, is it donut time already?
- Yeah.

I'll see you in the break room.

(SOFTLY WHISTLES) Donut time.

- All right.
- (CLEARING THROAT)

Oh, Jesus, Jessie, you're
gonna pop a blood vessel.

I need a perk quick today.

I've gotta stay awake so I can
finish all this paperwork.

Oh, that works too fast for me.

I snort it and your boy will
be shakin' like Kylie Jenner

at an R. Kelly concert.

Actually, better luck there
than being at the adoption

agency when Woody Allen rolls through.

- (MEN LAUGHING) - JESSIE:
Katie, you hang with us

during donut time,
but you don't want any donuts.

You're not a narc are ya?

It really works that well, huh?

Tell her. Patrick?

Well, before a-bombs,
Patrick couldn't even focus.

He was all over the place.

Couldn't work our system,
lost track of orders,

the true definition of
a screw-up.

Look at the man now.

One of our top sellers in the company.

He's still ugly, though.
Look at him.

Well, as long as your mama thinks
I'm hot, I ain't trippin'.

- Oh.
- (LAUGHING)

Does it really work?

PATRICK: It does for me,
but, hey...

You'd have to make that call.

MEN: (CHANTING)
Katie, Katie, Katie...

Okay. Give me the other
half of the pill.

If Patrick Square-Ass
can do it, so can I.

Ooh.

Yeah, Katie.

All right.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: We
wanted to come here.

I wanted to be here because
Africa is on the move.

- Africa is one of the fastest growing regions...
- (PEOPLE APPLAUDING)

FEMALE REPORTER: There's
a battle raging as we

arrive and fresh troops
are being sent in to fight.

Cameroon and Chadian soldiers
are trying to hold this bridge.

It stands between
them and Boko Haram

on the other side of Nigeria.

Those who survived
this latest m*ssacre

are tortured by what happened.

MALE TRANSLATOR: Look at this.
Those are all b*llet holes.

There were
people. No one moved.

What about the kidnapped girls?

- Oh, yes.
- Are you worried about them?

I worry about them, too. Yeah, my
sister there. My brother is too.

FEMALE REPORTER: Many of the
people in this congregation

have relatives and
friends in the area

where the schoolgirls were taken.

And intelligence sources say
they're using satellite imagery

and tracking to try to
pinpoint where the girls are.

Whatever is their motive,
the innocent girls,

the little children,
should not be made victim.

FEMALE REPORTER: Our sources
say a deal was struck to free

some of the Boko Haram families
in return for some of the girls.

But the deal collapsed when
the Nigerian President went to

the Summit in Paris and
his Western backers,

including the British,
were vehemently against it.

KARA: So, that's the
package. You like it?

MARK: I love it.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey.

Hmm?

I get it.

(SIGHING) Yeah.

When you make decisions for yourself,

it affects others.

- Yes, it does.
- Yeah.

But, if it helps,

you'll remember, I didn't
wanna work with you.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Well, now that I'm leaving,
maybe you can have my office.

No, I actually prefer my
paycheck, thank you very much.

- (MARK LAUGHING)
- You know, I can't...

I can't spend the office and I
certainly can't feed my kids the office.

I can't clothe my kids with the office.

- So, I'm good.
- (LAUGHS)

Well, my sweet, mean and twisted Kara...

KARA: Mmm?

I will miss you most of all.

Take care of yourself out there, okay?

I'll be really pissed if
something happens to you.

I will.

Okay.

I look forward to
giving you a good show.

I appreciate it, Kara.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(MESSAGE ALERT BEEPING)

Happy Birthday!

(ALL CHEERING, HOOTING)

(KARA LAUGHING)

You care. You actually care.

KARA: Of course we do,
mama. We love you! Come here!

Happy Birthday.

Thank you.

- KARA: You're welcome.
- (INHALES DEEPLY)

(ALL CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

Thank you.

Now cut this leaning tower of a cake.

Yeah, well, it was in the passenger
seat and I was texting and driving.

So, anyway, how old are you now, anyway?

You know not to ask a lady
such questions.

Of course. No, no, no, of course.
I was just trying to figure out

- if this was the first or second time...
- It's the first time I am...

... you turned .
Right. Right.

Your cake is better.

She just started baking, so
we're gonna eat it and like it.

I'm gonna be right back. I've gotta get
these boys started on their homework.

- I'll get you some cake when we
get back, okay? - Bye, fellas.

- Bye, guys.
- Bye.

Did you get my email?

No.

WOMAN: Happy birthday, MJ.

Didn't you tell me your brother
was out in L.A. working

for Barbara Ling-Cho,
the developer?

Yeah. Why? Why? What's up?

Apparently, there are some
investment groups, ten in all,

that have signed a petition accusing
Barbara Ling-Cho of bid rigging.

Why?

Probably because it was
announced that Inglewood won

the bid in L.A. to build
the new stadium.

- (SIGHING)
- Yeah.

Two years ago, Cho acquired
a bunch of property

in public auctions at the
lowest price point possible.

No one thought nothing of it.
It's Inglewood.

But then it's announced that a
certain stadium is being built

dead smack in the middle
of Cho's properties.

Now either she's lucky
or an evil genius.

Well, my brother just started working for
her, so he... He wouldn't be involved.

I hope not.

I know Jake on Arthur's team
was talking

about doing an investigative
report on it.

Oh, now he wants to do something
that requires effort. Nice.

It's a good story.

We should do it.

If your brother wasn't working for her.

I... I sent the email.

Take a look and Happy Birthday.

Thanks.

Hey, guys.

I brought you some snacks.

Thanks, Mom.

- You're welcome.
- Yeah, thanks.

Here you go, baby.

Sure.

If you guys need anything, Theresa
is standing right outside.

- So you just ask her.
- Okay.

Okay?

Can we play on our iPads when
we're done with our homework?

- Yeah. Sure.
- Thanks.

- Wow, thanks.
- You're welcome.

Have a good show, Mom.

Thank you, baby.

NIECY: That's a pretty color.

Okay, so you mean to tell me I can
get all this stuff on a discount.

Yes, Niecy, we're good.

Okay.

Girl, this dress is fire.

Oh, you're gonna wear that while
you're serving pizza at Saborro's?

- No, hater, I'ma wear it to the
Drake concert. - You got tickets?

Yeah, girl. You know Junior and
his home boys are scalpin'.

- You should come.
- I mean, I can,

if I could get
somebody to watch Jaycion.

Your mama can't watch him?

Nah, she's been trippin' ever since
she got her new boyfriend, so...

Niecy, you wanna come?

Junior got a homeboy.
He ain't takin' nobody.

Hm, how's he lookin'?

I mean, he's all right.

He's got a little chipped
tooth, but he's real funny

and he got a job at the bank.

Oh, is he a teller?

Nah, girl, he's a security guard.

Well, you know I've gotta find
somebody to watch the kids.

My grandmother is sick, so my
grandfather can't be watching them.

He's gotta look after her.

Girl, have your babies'
father take care of them.

NIECY: Girl,
they're barely around.

Jaycion's father's the same way.

He ain't never around.

Baby daddies have it so easy.

- They come and go as they please.
- Right.

Now, see, that's why
I ain't havin' sex.

- Renee, shut up.
- Renee! Why, why would you say that?

Why? I'm just sayin'.

I like my freedom.

We do, too.

Oh, come on, Niecy, let's go
pay for these.

Renee is so stuck up.
I can't stand her.

Then why do you hang out with her?

Because she has a car.

(NIECY SCOFFS)

Hook us up?

CLERK: Who is she?

Oh, Niecy's cool. She works at
that kiosk over by the food court.

- Where they sell the hair supplies?
- Hmm-mmm.

CLERK: Oh, that's so fine.

They got some fly stuff over there.

So, next, Niecy's gonna
hook me up with one of those

flat irons on your
employee discount, right?

Oh, yeah, we can do that.

That's what I'm sayin'.

This shirt's on sale.

You get another %.

Okay, cool. We can do that.

How much do I owe you?

(ALL LAUGHING)

There were three fatalities.

The investigation is still
ongoing and the FBI is also

going to look into the case.

Now, on a lighter note, some of
our viewers may remember our story

about one of America's
truest treasures...

Whiskey the Cat,

the ferocious feline who became a hero

when he fought off a pit bull
protecting his six-year-old owner.

He sustained a deep
laceration on his side

and I am proud to report

that he's back home resting comfortably.

Thank God, for Whiskey.

Whiskey the Cat!

Seriously, Whiskey the Cat?

- (KARA LAUGHING)
- I shouldn't even let you sit in my car

making me read that crap.

KARA: No, no, no. Hey.

You read it with dignity, okay?

Whiskey the Cat is
America's truest treasure.

Pet stories are skewing well.

What the hell can I tell you?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Don't snort in my car.

(SNORTING LAUGH) I'm sorry.

We should bring Whiskey in this car.

(SNORTING LAUGH) Oh, my goodness...

How much is this thing anyway?

You know, it's not about the
price. It's not about the price.

It's... It's, um... It pays for itself.

- KARA: Oh.
- And it's good for the environment.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

KARA: Right, the environment.

Right, right, right.

Don't you have to set up a... A whole
charging station and whatnot for this car?

How much is that?

MARY JANE: It's not that much.

You should buy one.

- A Tesla?
- Yeah.

Yeah. No, I'll wait,
thank you very much.

Why?

Because I have them.

That's why.

(BOYS LAUGHING)

What are you guys watching?

Video of this man.

He puts butter on stairs
and watches people fall down.

- (MARY JANE LAUGHING)
- That's not funny.

- MARY JANE: No, actually, it is.
- No, it's not.

Did you guys see the one
where they put the baby oil

on the bathroom floor
for when people come

- out of the shower?
- Oh, God.

No, where'd you find that?

Stop encouraging them.

- It's so good.
- Seriously, zip it.

Guys, hey, go wait in the
car for a minute, please?

Fine.

I'll be there real soon.

- Later, fellas. Thanks.
- Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, my goodness...

Oh...

John had to work, so I
picked them up from school.

And they heard I was
coming to see "The Tesla,"

so they wanted to tag along.

It's all good. Please.

How are you doing?

Oh, girl, if I don't have sex
soon, I'm gonna freakin' break

the shower head off.

I'm not even joking.

Okay, uh, I was talking
about you and John shacking up

and the kids and the whole thing.

But, yeah, that... That works.

You know, we're trying to work it out.

Today was a good day.

How are you feeling with Mark leaving?

I wanna kick him in his face,

quite frankly, now that you ask.

I mean, I had that damn
show running on autopilot,

easy money, and now I've
actually gotta work for it.

They wanna rotate in some
anchors and see who sticks,

just like they did on Talk Back,

because I'm not overwhelmed, as it is.

It sounds stressful.

- Yo, if you ever need a place to crash...
- Mmm-hmm?

You're more than welcome to stay here.

Thank you. That's sweet. I
might take you up on that one.

All right, time to go.

(LAUGHING) Where are you going?

To, uh, the surprise party
my family's throwing for me.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Are you sure? Because nobody
called me to invite me.

That's kinda weird.

Well, maybe it's just a family thing.

I mean, even PJ flew in.

Girl, PJ ain't flyin' in for you.

You know he's a mama's boy.

Patrick baked a cake, okay,

triple chocolate cake, my favorite.

It's a party. They did not forget me.

- All right.
- I'm unforgettable.

Oh... Without a doubt.

Let me let you get to your "party."

- Let me get with... Where's the damn door handle...
- It's right there.

... on this Tesla?

Right there, grandma.

What happened to door handles?

Oh, my God...

I'll just be going into
my little Volvo now.

- Bye.
- Go on with your party and chocolate cake.

- (MARY JANE LAUGHING)
- KARA: All right, guys, we're outta here.

Chocolate cake.

Seriously?

Letta, what are you doing here?

Uh, I came back to help
with the rotation, remember?

Oh. Actually, Mom's good.

She's been chillin' most of
the day, slept most of the day.

Uh, I guess those meds
she's on put her out.

So, you don't need me.

I guess not. (CHUCKLES)

Well, where's everybody else?

Uh, where is everybody?

Patrick's home. Dad went
to pick Niecy up from work.

Wait! You guys really
forgot my birthday?

Damn, it is the st.

Oh, my God.

Wait, oh, wait! Letta, Letta, Letta...

I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.

Look, I've been dealing
with Mom and work stuff.

Work stuff?

Yeah.

You mean like bid rigging?

- Huh?
- Huh?

Seven years of college
and all you got is "Huh?"

How about "So?"

Your arrogant little ass

is actually admitting to being involved.

- Look...
- Have you lost your mind?

I'm tired of white businessmen
telling us to play one game

while they're playing another
that's helping them build wealth.

- Yeah, okay, the Bushs and the Kennedys...
- Yeah.

... and all the Rockefellers, yes, they did
some shady stuff to build their empires.

Key difference... They're white!

Well, good you know that I'm
just following the American way.

And it's also the American way
to bury black men under the jail.

- (SCOFFS)
- You're facing a Federal investigation.

- Uh-uh.
- No, there is way too much money on the table

and if you think that they're gonna let
an Asian woman and a black dude get it,

- you're delusional.
- Letta, I set up a different company.

- All right, look, it's hard to trace me back to Barbara.
- Okay.

My setup, oh, God, Letta,
my setup is so tight.

I have a chance to make $ million.

She's already under investigation.

You're... You're aware of that?

Get out while you can.

Baby, you're the fall guy.

You show up just in time to do her time.

Come on.

Don't you think I've thought about that?

No, I don't think you've
thought about that!

No, you didn't think about that!

Letta! Look, look, look, I'm
not stupid, okay? $ mil...

That's about all of us,
all of us building wealth.

Look around you. Our parents
are in their golden age

and should not be in the position
they are financially, all right?

They're supposed to be relaxing,

not taking care of Patrick's daughter

or their grandchildren.

Blah, blah, blah. What do
you think happens to Mom

when she finds out you're in jail? Huh?

It'll k*ll her.

Is the money worth it to you?

Is it that important to you?

We have a nephew named
Treyvion who has a mother

with a penchant for hoodies.

Now get this, with all my
pedigree, they barely want me,

okay, they barely want me.

Do the math, Letta.

He's well on his way to
minimum wage if we're lucky.

Selling him a little short
for three, aren't you?

Am I?

We live in the South where they sh**t
at kids named Treyvion for sport.

Look, if I can...

No, no, when...

When I make this work,
I not only set myself up,

but I set up the generations
and put the Pattersons

back on the road to greatness.

You're not the only
one thinking about that.

Selling weed and bid rigging, PJ,

is not gonna make you a hero.

It makes you a criminal.

And you're way too smart for that.

I get it.

Honestly, I absolutely get it.

But what you're trying to do,
it also comes with the burden

of worry and shame and guilt
and constantly having to look

over your shoulder for
the rest of your life.

$ million is a lot of money.

But it cannot buy you peace of mind.

I'm gonna go check on Mom.

HELEN: Are you all right?

Hmm?

Well, you got my arm all up in
the air like I'm a scarecrow.

Sorry, Mom.

I don't know why you all
doing all this fussing over me.

Oh, you fell.

You treat me like I'm dying.

Hmm.

Did you get under the arm?

MARY JANE: Oh.

Can you stand, Mom?

Yes, I can stand.

Just get the towel and
dry me 'cause I'm cold.

Oh...

We're gonna have to turn the heat up.

Thank you.

Okay, okay, okay, I've got this.

Okay.

(GROANING)

Thank you.

(GROANING)

What's wrong?

My leg.

Which one, Mom?

Oh, this old right one.

Okay, where?

- In my calf.
- Okay.

Yeah.

(SIGHING)

Oh, that's better.

Yeah?

You know, I always hated dancing.

Well, I mean, I liked dancing, but...

I thought I looked silly.

I didn't want people to laugh at me, so,

I never danced in public.

Not even at our wedding.

- No?
- Uh-uh.

Just couldn't do it.

(SIGHING) And now these old
legs won't let me change my mind.

Well, for an older gal,
you've got great legs.

Whenever you get a chance to dance...

(WHISPERING) Dance.

Okay.

(KISSES)

Happy Birthday, Pauletta.

Thanks, Mom.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(SIGHING)

- You're out?
- I'm outta here, baby.

All right.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)

NIECY: Oh, thank you. (LAUGHING)

- Where are you guys coming from?
- NIECY: Hey.

PAUL SR.: Niecy's job.

MARY JANE: Oh.

Getting in a little overtime, huh?

No, you know, I got off
early, so I did a little

shopping.

You just got your first check

- and you're already shopping?
- That's right.

So now you're not the only
fly Patterson in the family.

(LAUGHING) Did I say that right, Niecy?

Yeah, Grandpa, you said it right.

What have you got?

Okay, a Coach bag.

- Hmm-mmm.
- Cute.

What's this?

A bedazzled Michael Kors shirt.

Hmm-mmm. Fly, right?

Uh, no, dumb.

How much did all this cost?

It only cost $

including this. Happy Birthday.

Baby, I don't want you
spending your money on me.

How much was your check?

It was $ and I got commission

and I did a little overtime this week.

So, you spent half your check
on stuff you didn't need.

NIECY: (SIGHING) Is that
song always gonna be the same

or is it gonna change?

Yeah, when you realize the
whole point of you getting a job

was so that you could finally
take care of your responsibilities.

PAUL SR.: Come on, now, come on.

This is her first check.

(NIECY SIGHING)

(MARY JANE LAUGHS)

I don't always like
saying the hard stuff, Dad.

Then don't sometimes.

Look, I felt the same way.

But she needs to feel the
independence of the money.

Look, you were the
same as a little girl.

Well, as a little girl,
I didn't have kids.

You know, I think it's time you
stopped punishing her for that.

They're here.

And maybe she didn't
do it the right way,

but she's progressing.

You... You think that's progress?

Can I be honest?

(LAUGHS) I don't think
that's ever been your issue.

I had an abortion.

Pauletta...

You did what?

I did the... The
reasonable, responsible thing

because I couldn't look at my Dad

and have him see a burden,

a pathetic burden.

But...

Now I see that if I
had just had the courage

to come talk to you and Mom,
I could have done what Niecy

and Patrick do,

just let other people carry my load.

I... I could have had a...

A... A baby.

Who cares if... If
David wanted to marry me?

Who cares if I could handle it.

I've got my family, right?

But, instead, I'm here,

pissed that my whole entire family

forgot my birthday and
I could have been home

blowing out candles
with my six-year-old.

Baby...

Wow.

Come here. Come here.

PAUL SR.: I'm so sorry.

(DOOR OPENING)

♪ Thanks for the times ♪

You didn't think I'd forget
your birthday, did you?

I did.

(LAUGHING) All right.

MARK: Make a wish.

(BLOWING)

Nice.

(BOTH APPLAUDING)

I can't believe you sold
your house that fast.

Come on, girl, you know us gay boys.

We're good at curating
houses everyone wants.

Well, you're more than welcome
to stay here, if you like.

You know, sweetheart,

I think I'm gonna go see my
parents before I ship off, you know.

Oh, I did find a crew in
London, top notch, vetted.

I'm gonna go see them in London

before I head off to Nigeria.

Geez, you quit your job and
you head out to parts unknown

to chase a story.

MARK: Yeah, I know.

You're not scared?

I'm scared as hell. (LAUGHS)

I don't know what's
gonna happen, Mary Jane.

I really don't have a clue.

But it really scares me not to
do what I wanna do, you know?

It also feels so great
to live in the moment.

You know you hurt my feelings, right?

- What are you talking about?
- When you said I wasn't a real journalist.

I did not say that.

You did.

Okay, well, I'm sorry.

That's why I'm gonna miss you.

You never did tell me
what I wanted to hear.

- (MARK LAUGHS)
- Jerk.

MARK: (LAUGHS) Okay, so hear this...

(SIGHING) I love you, Mary Jane.

And I don't know everything.

- I know.
- (MARK LAUGHS)

MARK: (ON AIR) As
some of you know,

today is my last broadcast.

It saddens me that I won't be
coming into your living rooms

on a daily basis.

But I will be back with
more impactful stories

that pushes our thinking forward.

So, it's not "goodbye,"
but "I'll be seeing you."

Five years.

Wow.

An amazing five years.

I guess it has come down to this...

It is time for me to push on
to the next part of my journey.

It gets me every time, though.

(SIGHING DEEPLY) Old Mary Jane, huh?

(LAUGHS)

Man...

I'm doing what I wanna
do, but I'm gonna miss you.

MARY JANE: I'll miss you, too.

(SIGHS) Wow.

I guess I'm gonna be free for some time.

(SIGHING DEEPLY)

You know what?

While I'm gone, Kara...

KARA: Hmm-mmm.

Make sure she gets my office.

KARA: No, thanks.

- (ALL LAUGHING)
- Lance.

Yeah.

You get the furniture.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hey, why not?

Thank you for an amazing five years.

I appreciate every last one of you.

To good times!

ALL: To good times!

- Cheers!
- ALL: (APPLAUDING) Cheers!

MARK: I love you, Mary Jane.

And I don't know everything.

- MARY JANE: I know.
- (MARK LAUGHING)

(SONG PLAYING)

Oh! Oh!

Uh-uh.

That song always reminds
me of when you got drunk and

thought you could out dance your girl.

You really need to stop
because you know you could not

see me that night.

It sounds like a challenge to me.

You know what you wanna do, mama.

You feelin' froggy.
Let's leap. What? What?

(MARK LAUGHING)

Okay.

- You stretch out.
- Okay.

You stretch out.

Go, girl.

- (GRUNTING)
- Listen, you know when a man's right.

He engine on. You're power walkin'.

What the hell. Let's go.

You got to stress that running man.

You gotta really turn up.

Oh!

And... (GRUNTING)

MARK: Uh-oh!

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)