[Candace SNORING]
But, Your Honor, how could
I have robbed that bank
if I was already wearing
the prison jumpsuit?
It, it just doesn't make any...
[GASPS]
[Buford HUMMING]
Someday I wanna finish that dream so
I can find out if I'm guilty or not.
What?
[HUMMING]
Voilá!
[CHIMES]
- Buford, what are you doing?
- Just trying out my new...
Male announcer: Tuff Shoo Laysizz!
No, I mean what are you doing
in our backyard so early?
There are two things you should
know about the Van Stomms.
One,
we always set our alarms on time,
and two, if we don't,
we show up early and take our lumps.
We've even got a song about it.
That's okay. I do not need
to hear the song.
Too late! Well...
♪ Van Stomms wake up better ♪
♪ Than anyone else on Earth ♪
♪ It's because we
have rules for sleeping ♪
♪ That we seem to know at birth ♪
♪ Rule one is to set the alarm clock ♪
♪ To precisely the proper hour ♪
♪ And make sure you've
got time to eat breakfast ♪
♪ Get dressed brush your
tooth and maybe a shower ♪
♪ We're careful with our alarm clocks ♪
♪ We're not sloppy
like most other chumps ♪
♪ 'Cause rule two's if you
mess up and set it too early ♪
♪ You show up and takes your lumps ♪
- Does that answer your question?
- Oh, yeah. That explains a lot.
So that's why I got up early.
What's your excuse?
I'm just getting an early
start on busting my brothers.
You know, you should really find
a new hobby. You've got no skills!
Ha! I'd like to see you
keep their contraptions
from disappearing at the last second.
Is that a challenge? Because you
should know that we Van Stomms
never back down from a challenge!
- Well...
- Stop, stop, stop! I challenge you.
- Just as long as you don't sing about it.
- Her loss.
The Van Stomm "Accept a Challenge"
song has a k*ller bridge.
It goes to an F sharp minor
in the key of G!
[SNORING]
Monogram: Calling Agent P.
Agent P!
Wakey-wakey, Agent P.
Over here.
No, not on the computer screen,
though that would have
made infinitely more sense.
To the right. Down a bit.
Over a bit more.
That's right!
Hi-ho!
Carl installed a nano-screen
on this trading card a few days ago
disguised as
a Flynn-Fletcher family member.
- Can you guess which one?
- Can you take that off already, Carl?
- You're creeping me out, man.
- Okay.
Sorry to wake you up so early,
Agent P, but evil never rests.
And by evil, I mean Doofenshmirtz.
It's not even A.M.
and our surveillance cameras
have spotted him at the
local caffeination station,
ordering the largest, most
caffeinated beverage they sell.
Nothing good can come from
this hideous spurt of energy.
- So get to it, Agent...
- Phineas: Way to floss, Ferb!
Phineas: Who knew fighting
plaque could be so much fun?
Oh! Sounds like your boys are on
their way back. Get to it, Agent P!
Come to think of it, I know
what we're gonna do today, Ferb.
Hey, where's Perry?
That's strange.
I know. We normally do
this later in the day.
Yes. Yes, we do.
Sweet!
With Buford as my busting stooge,
now I can concentrate
on more important things.
Announcer: It's time
for Girls Freaking Out!
Ooh, I love this show!
It makes me feel so normal.
Okay, Candace, I'm off to the beach.
Vivian called and said
the waves are crankin'.
- I'll have my cell with me.
- Oh, that's okay, I'm outsourcing today.
Everything will still be here
when you get back.
Well, I certainly hope so.
See you later, hon.
Chorus: [SINGING]
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
Gotcha! And you don't even know
it yet. That's the beauty part.
Watch this prolonged
unnecessary series of events.
[RATTLING]
[EVIL LAUGH]
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, well, watch this.
Here it goes. Here it goes.
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yes!
Ha! I win!
I know, it's a little
over the top, but I was
inspired by this board game
I loved when I was a kid!
Well, actually, it
was Roger's board game,
but I would sneak a peek
of it through the keyhole of
his door and, you know, it
looked like I would love it.
But I borderline backstory.
You see, I have so much evil energy
from my soy-venti-latte
extra-caf-and-a-half
quadruple-sugar
blood-pressure-bombarino, love it!
So I spent the whole morning building
this complex, giant version of the game.
Really, I'm surprised you
didn't see it flying in.
Okay, beholding time!
Behold. My Loofa-Flex
Dill-Pickle-inator.
What does it do, you ask?
Well, it will launch all
of my enemies into orbit
and keep them floating there
so far into the atmosphere,
that they won't bother
me anymore. Cool, huh?
[CAT YOWLING] Yeah, I know,
the name's a little weird.
But, hey, I, I bought it off
the internet and my rights to
it expire tomorrow, so I was
kind of forced to use it today!
I have so much energy
from just that one cup of coffee,
I just keep rambling and rambling...
Oh!
You know, that trap was always
the lamest part of the game.
I always thought that...
[GRUNTS]
Hey, Buford! You're here early.
The early bully catches
the nerd, my friends.
- Hello!
- And my point is made for me.
- Hi, guys.
- I am here, also.
- What you doing?
- Well, the inspiration for today's activity
manifested as we performed
our morning ablutions.
I love it when Phineas uses
unnecessarily long words
for common things like brushing
your teeth and washing up.
- Yes. It is gratifyingly erudite.
- It's not as cute when you do it.
[SIGHS]
I am cognizant of that fact.
Introducing the Dental Hygienosphere!
A thrill-packed adventure
through the exciting and colossal
world of dental hygiene!
Now who's with us?
- All: We!
- It's a little preachy for my
- taste, but count me in, too.
- I'll help with the superstructure!
Ooh!
I will spray on the enamel coating!
And I'll sell ballooths!
- Balloons in the shape of tooth?
- Oh, you mean toothaloons.
- Yeah, that's toothaloons.
- Where do you get "ballooths" from?
And I'll lock it all down
and make sure it doesn't move!
All right, safety first, I guess.
Knock yourself out!
Let's see how the rookie's
doing on his assignment.
[MUSIC]
Hmm, not bad.
I kinda like his style!
Toothaloons!
Get your toothaloons here!
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
Phineas: All right, everybody!
All aboard the toothbuggys!
Ferb even installed dental
floss themed seatbelts!
Mmm, minty!
All: Whoo-hoo!
Not so fast!
I knew it!
You're giving up and just
going on the ride for fun!
Not hardly. I swiped this bad boy
from the orthodontists' section
to cut off stuff stickin' out of the ride
that could snag a passing
plane as I go along!
Listen, this thing getting snagged
on a plane is just the tip of the bicuspid!
It could shrink down to the size of a
real tooth and get lost in the grass.
Or turn to ice and melt into
nothingness. For all you know,
it could turn into a giant
Ducky Momo and fly away!
- Are you prepared for all that?
- Well...
Dit, dit, dit!
I don't need to hear
the "We Prepare For
Every Eventuality song."
Fine, for the record thou, it's the
"Be Prepared For Every Eventuality" song.
It's in the imperative tense.
Wow!
The periodontal level was awesome!
Phineas: Hang on to
your retainers, everyone,
as we travel through the pulp chamber,
passed the cementoenamel junction,
and up, up, up
to the apex of the crown!
- Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
- You know, this is pretty tame
compared to other roller coasters,
but when you compare it to other
dental-themed rides, it's a rush!
Now you see me, now you don't!
Now you see me, now you don't!
[LAUGHING]
[GROANING]
Hey, where'd you go?
I've got you now, Perry the Platypus.
Ouch.
I've completely protected their
invention from airplane snags,
stray balloons, meteorites,
flocks of wild gazelles,
and giant cracks that form
in the crust of the Earth.
- What if it turns into water?
- Covered.
- What if it turns into smoke?
- Covered.
What if space harpies descend from
the sky and have it for breakfast?
Aw, come on! Really?
- Totally covered.
- Really? And how did...
I sprayed it with Space Harpy Repellent.
Yeah, okay. Just make sure it's still
here when I come back with my mom!
- Mom! Mom!
- If there's one thing us Van Stomms do,
we make sure things are still there
when people get back
with their moms. Well...
Hold still so I can
hit you fair and square!
Ow! Really?
Oh, man!
Random green rays from the sky!
I forgot about random
green rays from the sky!
Oh, no!
Not on my watch.
Oh, man! I've run out of
conveniently placed objects. Bingo!
- Comin' through!
- My toothaloons!
Yeah, they weren't sellin' anyway.
Not on my watch!
Oh! The helium t*nk!
Actually, it's kind of ironic
when you think about it.
Not on my watch!
Yes! The human shield
tactic never fails.
Huh?
Man, I knew I should've
hung on to that laser.
- Whoo-hoo!
- Whoo-hoo!
- Let us go again!
- Maybe not.
[SCREAMS]
I guess they ain't called...
Male announcer: Tuff Shoo Laysizz!
- ...for nothing.
- Prepare to be blitzed by my
inexplicable, newfound
martial arts mastery!
[GRUNTING]
[CHUCKLES]
I hate to ask, Perry the Platypus,
but have you seen my other...
Oh, there it is!
Oh, yeah, that, that's
what I was planning to do.
Perry the Platypus, looks
like this is the end for you!
[GRUNTS]
That's just not nice!
[SCREAMS]
Well, I hope that lands in the backyard
of a giant who needs a fake tooth.
Hey, did you say...
[IMITATES ELECTRICAL BUZZING]
Buford: You know, it's kinda
nice to sit back and relax
after all that manual labor.
Uh-oh!
[SCREAMS]
I've got a song about how Van
Stomms fall from the sky, too,
but it doesn't end well.
- That was so much fun!
- Too bad Buford missed it all.
I wonder where he got to?
- Hello!
- Hey, Buford, are those...
Male announcer: Tuff Shoo Laysizz!
Yes. Yes, they are.
Right over here, Mom.
Ta-da!
Hi, Mom! Hi, Candace!
What are you guys up to?
Buford, are you okay?
Just puttin' my new
laces through their paces.
Okay, then.
Then I'm going inside.
- Who wants pie?
- I do! Yeah, me too!
- Baljeet: I always want pie.
- Buford, explain yourself!
- Well...
- I am out of here!
♪ If we Van Stomms don't succeed
on the very first try... ♪
then we just give up.
Doofenshmirtz: Just in
case anyone's wondering
what happened to ol'
Doofenshmirtz, I'm okay!
[CRASH]
Yeah, well, okay.
Well, obviously not now.
Well...
♪ Van Stomms wake up better ♪
♪ Than anyone else on Earth ♪
♪ It's because we
have rules for sleeping ♪
♪ That we seem to know at birth ♪
♪ Rule one is to set the alarm clock ♪
♪ To precisely the proper hour ♪
♪ And make sure you've
got time to eat breakfast ♪
♪ Get dressed brush your
tooth and maybe a shower ♪
♪ We're careful with our alarm clocks ♪
♪ We're not sloppy
like most other chumps ♪
♪ 'Cause rule two's if you
mess up and set it too early ♪
♪ You show up and takes your lumps ♪