"Knot My Problem"
♪ There's a hundred and
four days of summer vacation ♪
♪ and school comes
along just to end it ♪
♪ So the annual problem
for our generation ♪
♪ is finding a good way to spend it ♪
♪ Like maybe ♪
♪ Building a rocket,
or fighting a mummy ♪
♪ or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪
♪ Discovering something
that doesn't exist ♪
Hey!
♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪
♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪
♪ Creating nano-bots or
locating Frankenstein's brain ♪
It's over here!
♪ Finding a dodo bird,
Painting a continent ♪
♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪
Phineas!
♪ As you can see, there's
a whole lot of stuff to do ♪
♪ before school starts this fall ♪
Come on, Perry.
♪ So stick with us, 'cause
Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪
♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas
and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪
Mom, Phineas and Ferb
are making a title sequence!
Phineas: Okay, g*ng, today we're
going to tie a legendary knot.
Whoa, whoa, we're just starting?
No... no intro, nothing?
- Just getting right into it.
- Yep, we're just doing the knot.
Wait!
How can we do something not?
No, it's "knot" spelled with a "K."
I didn't think it was
spelled with a "K."
No, it's "knot," spelled with a "K."
- I don't understand your pauses.
- Let me start over.
Today, we're going to
reproduce the Gordian Knot.
Well, why didn't you say
so in the first place?
I've heard of that, but I
can't remember the story.
I'll get this. Back in the
day when men wore miniskirts...
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.
Alexander the Great was
vacationing in Gordium
when he came upon a celebrated ox-cart
that was tied to a post using
a knot that was so complicated,
it was impossible to untie.
So he just sliced it in
half in one bold stroke.
A simple solution to
a complicated problem.
Hence the phrase,
"Cutting the Gordian Knot!"
- I've never heard that phrase.
- Sounds new to me.
Trust me, it's a thing.
So we'll tie these
ropes around our waists,
follow this blueprint to recreate it,
then it's up to us to
figure out how to get loose.
That will make us the second
people to tie the Gordian Knot,
- but the first people to untie it.
- What if we cannot untie it?
No problem! Our mom was
always really good with knots.
There was this one time when Candace...
Hey, I thought we
weren't going to bring up
- the clothesline incident ever again.
- Phineas: Oh, right.
Anyway, would you mind
getting Mom if we get stuck
in the ginormous Gordian
Knot we're making?
When it gets big and
weird, I'll go get Mom.
Excellent! Does everyone
have their ropes tied?
All right, let's see.
Isabella and Buford,
make two loops where you're standing.
Great!
You're good to start climbing.
Baljeet, turn twice counterclockwise
and then dive in five
loops from the bottom.
Then Ferb and I will do this and this
and this and we'll join you inside.
- Shall we?
- Absolutely! Let's go, bro.
Baljeet and Ferb, twist to the
right and wiggle towards the top.
Hey, where's Perry?
Morning, Agent P.
It seems that Dr. Doofenshmirtz
has been hitting every
all-you-can-eat buffet in
town, which can't be good.
I mean, if anything were
to happen to Doofenshmirtz,
we would have to make some
drastic cuts over here.
Especially in the
"non-essential-personnel" department.
Good luck, Agent P.
[VACUUM WHIRRING]
Oh, and don't worry about the
mess. Carl will take care of it.
Carl: I guess, that
makes me essential, huh?
Don't get cocky, Carl.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
Jeremy: Hey, Candace.
Hi, Jeremy. What a nice surprise.
- Ooh! What's that?
- Oh, it's an old mini safe of mine
that I found in the back of my
closet. I've had it for ages,
but I haven't used it in so long
that I forgot the combination.
I thought your brothers could open it.
I figured that's a "safe" bet.
[CHUCKLES]
- So what's in it?
- That's the thing...
- I don't remember.
- Maybe, it's a rare baseball card.
No, I sold all those long time ago.
Um, could it be your favorite
toy car from when you were a kid?
No, I traded that for this safe.
Well, maybe it's something
cute, like your baby teeth.
No, definitely not.
I've still got those.
Ew! I mean, cute.
Yeah, the tooth fairy never
visited me when I was a kid.
Anyway, could you give this to your
brothers? I got to rush to work.
Sure. I'll give it to
them as soon as they
finish their Ferbian Knot. Don't ask.
- See ya later, alligator!
- In a while, crocodile!
You guys have got to work on
your pet names for each other.
- So what's in the safe?
- I don't know.
But it's not baby teeth.
Phineas: Okay, everybody!
Two twists to the left and
we should all see daylight.
Well, I just earned my
overcoming claustrophobia patch.
[GRUNTS]
Daylight! Ha, ha!
Now what?
Now we burrow back in
and untie ourselves.
You got to be kidding me.
Who looked at this idea and
said, "Yeah, that'll be fun."
You see, this is what
happens when we have no intro.
I have been making mental notes
of the paths and probabilities
as I have gone along.
It will be a piece of cake.
If I just walk
backwards, it should work.
The heck with this game, I'm
just gonna chill here for a while.
Hey! Who's pulling on my rope?
Doofenshmirtz: Over
here, Perry the Platypus!
I am just having a little lunch. Why
don't you pull up a chair and join me?
What do you think?
Pretty clever, right?
It's my new "high chair" trap.
I thought of a high chair, 'cause
you're just a little guy, aren't you?
Yes, you are, you're
just the little guy.
[CHATTERING] You're not
getting out of this, so...
Why don't you enjoy the food?
It's all-you-can-eat,
you know.
You're good?
You're already full, right?
Me, too.
I barely touched my plate.
That's how these all-you-can-eat
places make their money.
They charge you like you're
gonna eat a week's worth,
but then, when you fill
up after, like, two plates,
then they've really made a profit.
That's why I'm opening my own
all-you-can-eat Drusselsteinian buffet.
Look, I've already made
a commercial for it.
Doofenshmirtz: All-you-can-eat
Drusselsteinian Buffet.
It's food the way
your mother never made.
We've got Hassenfloffer
Entrail Waterzooi,
with Gopher Gut Au Gratin.
Fuzzy Fungus Flugelbrotchen!
And an assortment of
tripe based desserts!
Those brave enough can
try our new Mystery Lump!
Remember, Doof spelled
backwards is food!
You know, come to think of it, it really
should be called the "all-you-can-stand,"
because Drusselsteinian food is
terrible, that's the beauty of it.
Nobody will be able to
finish even one plate's worth.
My profit margin will be huge!
But first, I've got to eliminate
the competition with this.
The Eat-it-all-inator.
You see, it gives people a huge
appetite, so everyone will eat so much
that all of these all-you-can-eat
places will go out of business.
Then my restaurant will be packed!
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
Maniacal laughter.
What do you suppose it is?
It's probably some dumb boy stuff,
like firecrackers or turtle shells.
Or maybe it's his secret inner
thoughts written as a sonnet.
No, no, no, no. That's not it.
I've got to think more like my
brothers. You know, use my imagination.
- This could be dangerous.
- Maybe it's a secret spy plan,
or a glass eye, or
Abraham Lincoln's beard!
Now just watch what happens when
I zap those people over there.
Huh?
What happened?
How could I miss?
Oh, I am so hungry all of a sudden.
[MUNCHING]
Phew! That was great. I can cut out the
middle man and do all the eating myself.
I'm going back for seconds!
[MUNCHING]
How can you eat like
that and stay so thin?
Oh, I built an
All-you-can-eat-inator
and it speeds up your
metabolism, so you don't
gain any weight no matter
how much you eat, ever.
You should mass produce that machine.
Everyone would buy one.
You'd be a millionaire.
[SCOFFS] Don't worry about
me making money, mister.
I've got a complicated plan.
Like I'm gonna take advice
from some guy in a diner.
♪ There's a legend I've heard,
or so it's been taught ♪
♪ 'Bout Alexander the Great
and the Gordian Knot ♪
♪ Looked it up on the Net
so that we could recreate it ♪
♪ Now the knot we have here
is quite complicated ♪
♪ It's got closed bends, loop
splices, bowlines and lashings ♪
♪ Maybe we can loosen it
with just a little thrashing ♪
♪ Square knots, sheepshanks
and all kinds of hitches ♪
♪ When it comes to good strength ♪
♪ there's an embarrassment of riches ♪
♪ It's already a knot
So ready or not ♪
♪ We're gonna try to untie it,
though it's terribly taut ♪
♪ So it won't be for naught,
we'll give it all that we've got ♪
♪ To untie the un-untieable knot ♪
♪ We don't know what it is
But we know what it's not ♪
♪ It's not a Gutenberg press
or a coffee pot ♪
♪ It's not a car or tractor
'cause the safe's too small ♪
♪ And a fish or a piano
wouldn't make sense at all ♪
♪ It's already a knot
So ready or not ♪
♪ We're gonna try to untie it,
though it's terribly taut ♪
♪ So it won't be for naught,
we'll give it all that we've got ♪
♪ To untie the un-untieable knot ♪
♪ To untie the un-untieable knot ♪
♪ To untie the un-untieable... ♪
Not... even close!
That's it, I'm getting the boys.
Chorus: Perry!
Phineas: Looks like we've all got
just a few more moves to get untied.
Except for Buford, who's managed
to tie himself into a knot.
I'm a victim of circumstance.
Phineas and Ferb, you've got to open
this safe and tell me what's inside!
- It's driving me crazy!
- Sure, we'd love to...
As soon as we finish
untying the Gordian Knot.
- All right, it's big and weird. Ma!
- In a minute, Candace.
[MUNCHING]
Ha!
You're too late, Perry the Platypus.
Buffet number two is history.
I am starting to feel
a little full, though.
Hmm, I thought it would
last more than a few minutes.
Better give myself a little boost.
That's more like it.
Wow, I am so hungry I could
eat everything at buffet
number three, baby!
Yeah!
Oh, give up, Perry the Platypus
those chairs are...
Oh, man, I swallowed my inator.
Oh, well, at least you
can't destroy it now,
because it's inside my
stomach. So, today, I win.
[GRUNTS]
Okay, you broke it.
I can feel all the little pieces
just rumbling around in there.
I'm starving.
What's that sweet smell?
Probably licorice. We
used it to make the ropes
as a failsafe in case Mom wasn't around.
Perfect!
[MUNCHING]
Wow! I never knew Candace
was such a licorice fan.
Hey, thanks.
[MUNCHING]
I am so in love with her right now.
- What?
- Nothing.
That's a solution to the
Gordian Knot that even
Alexander the Great
wouldn't have come up with.
[PANTING]
All right, Candace,
what am I looking at?
I ate it. It was the size
of the house and I ate it.
- You ate it?
- I know, I don't believe it either.
- Well, what is that?
- It's a safe. I can't open it.
Give me that thing.
I've got an opener
that can open anything.
Para usted, senorita.
A pencil?
This is what I've been
obsessed with all day? A pencil?
Oh, I remember that! In
grade school, a pretty girl
loaned me that pencil and
I've kept it ever since.
A pretty girl? Who was she?
Candace, that pretty girl was you.
See, those are your teeth marks.
Okay, Candace, you can eat
the rest of that pencil,
unless you'd like to join us all
for some chocolate triple-layer cake.
All: Yay!
Ugh. Ugh!
Oh, there you are, Perry.
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, my baby teeth just fell out.
- Why don't you put them in here?
- Ew! I mean, cute!
"Mind Share"
Meap: It was good getting down
around town with my main men,
Phineas and Ferb!
I think those translation sideburns
are really working for you, Meap.
Rock and roll!
- Meap.
- Later, Meap!
Isabella: Hi, Phineas!
Whatcha doing?
Aw, you missed it! We were just
talking to Meap on the Galactic web.
What is that, flashing on your screen?
Hmm... I don't know.
Let's open it up, Ferb.
Hi, my name is Morg.
Have you ever wished that you
could pop off to another planet
on the other side of the
galaxy for a quick visit?
Well, now you can,
with Mind Share Vacations! Hmm...
You and your friends can trade
places with me and my friends
for the interplanetary
vacation of a lifetime!
That sounds like fun!
Imagine relaxing on a hot
rock by the pools of Nin
surrounded by beautiful newps!
Or splort through the tube worm
forest of Pootwhistle Foomp!
Whoo-hoo! Hmm...
Here's how it works.
Your mind comes to lodge
in his head, and his mind
goes to stay in yours.
Only your mind makes the trip. Hmm...
All you have to do is build
this highly sophisticated device,
and be on your way to pri...
A Mind Share Vacation of a lifetime!
Ferb, I think I know what
we're going to do today.
It sounded like he almost said
we are on our way to Perry.
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, where is Perry?
[BEEPING]
Monogram: Morning, Agent P.
We have intelligence
that Doofenshmirtz may have
taken up square dancing.
He cannot be allowed to use one
of our beloved American traditions
for his evil purposes!
So get out there and make sure
he do-si-doesn't do that, I guess.
[CHATTERING]
There, finished!
Well, that was easier than I thought.
Let's fire this bad boy up!
[BEEPING]
Brace yourselves for fun, because
we're going on a Mind Share Vacation!
- Baljeet: Did it work?
- Phineas: I think it did.
Buford: Hey, wait a second.
Where the heck are we?
Oh, prison. We were
on our way to prison.
Isabella: That's what he almost said.
Morg: Hmm, our escape
plan worked perfectly.
We are now free to ransack this planet!
Everyone, celebration noises!
[ALL GARGLING]
[BICYCLE HORN HONKING]
Okay, that's enough!
Ferb: It appears as though
we've been transported
into some sort of
intergalactic hoosegow.
I was framed!
I'm afraid we've all been
duped into aiding in the escape
of some rather brilliant
galactic prisoners.
- And they did it with this little gadget.
- Phineas, that's you!
That's right, losers! Hmm...
We pulled the old switcheroo!
In case you chumps have
any ideas about coming back,
we're setting the device
on our end to self-destruct
in one hour!
Alien : Why are we waiting
an hour to destroy it?
Alien : Have you no sense of drama?
Sayonara, suckers! Hmm...
- Ain't that the squirts!
- Well, look on the bright side...
- I got nothing.
- Hey, guys, I just realized something.
I'm the only fly in a prison
full of frogs and lizards.
Luckily, I do not think,
anyone else has noticed.
Inmate : You're mine, flyboy!
- Inmate : Fresh fly!
- Inmate : We're gonna get you!
Well, it was nice knowing you.
I think, I figured out how
we can reverse this thing.
We'll be back in our
own bodies in no time,
barring any unforeseen...
[ALARM BLARING]
What's that?
Out of your cells, ladies.
Surprise inspection!
Cell number , don't
make me come down there!
Morg! What are you and your
misfits up to this time?
- What's that?
- Oh, uh...
Contraband! One more
infraction out of you nerds
and I will put you all in
the hole for good, you got it?!
The guard just took our only connection
back to Earth. Now what are we gonna do?
I think we might be able to rebuild it,
if we could just get the parts.
We need to find a guy who
knows how to get things.
Every prison has one.
- How do you know what every prison has...
- Uh-uh, don't go there.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Where
on Earth do you think you're going?
We're going to Lotsmo to steal food.
What? Are you pretending
to be aliens or something?
Hmm... Yes. Pretending.
Hilarity noises.
[ALL GURGLING]
[BICYCLE HORN HONKING]
I'm not gonna tell you again!
[HONKS]
Gotcha! [CHUCKLES]
I know what you're thinking.
Why the snazzy get up?
Why the boots?
Well, you see, I met this girl,
Rosie, on a square dancing website
and I may have led her to believe
that I'm an expert square dancer.
Hey! Don't give me that
self-righteous look.
It's the web, man! Everybody
stretches the truth.
You don't think that cat really
eats cheeseburgers, do you?
Anyway, that's why I made
these boots, to help me dance.
See, they have these little microphones
that hear all the commands
of a square dance caller,
and they move exactly to those commands,
making me the perfect square dancer.
So, I really want to
make a good impression.
Maybe you can come along and,
you know, make me look good.
What do you say?
Will you be my wingman?
There's my guy!
Oh, yeah, and by the way, she also
thinks I'm a champion bull rider.
So if it comes up, you...
Hey! Don't look at me like that!
Red: There must be a guy like me
in every prison in the universe.
I'm the guy who knows how to get things.
Dragonflies, a warm rock
if that's your thing,
or maybe a lily pad for
your kid's graduation.
So when Morg and his friends
needed parts for a mind swap device,
they came looking for me.
Psst! [WHISPERING] I understand you're
a guy that knows how to get things.
Stop it! Stop it!
What is wrong with you?
Spit him out!
I am sorry.
I skipped breakfast.
- What is it you are looking for?
- Here, we made a list.
You can find everything
you need in the dumpster
out back of the Lotsmo on Flyway .
So, then, you can get us the stuff?
No, I'm not the guy who "gets" things.
I'm the guy who knows "how to get" things.
You would have to tunnel out
of your cell and crawl yards
through the prison gunge pipe
just to reach the outside.
That's the length of
five football fields.
I know how long a football field is.
Red: Later that day,
to make their escape,
those boys crawled through
yards of foul-smelling nastiness
I can't even imagine.
Five hundred yards. That's the
length of baseball banners,
one tennis court, a medium sized
male elephant and a croquet wicket.
It wasn't long before they found
everything that they needed.
Great! Let's hurry up and
put this thing together.
The sooner, the better.
But if we do the mind swap here, those
criminals will still be out of jail.
You're right. I haven't thought of that.
Red: So even later that day,
those boys crawled
back through yards
of foul-smelling nastiness that I...
Actually, it is not as
bad as you would think.
Yeah, gunge is actually
quite refreshing.
Red: Oh, well, it was still yards.
That's the length of
two volleyball courts,
a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier
a large three drawer filing cabinet,
- three friends...
- Buford: We're not listening anymore.
Red: Oh. Okay, then.
Ooh! Check it out, Perry
the Platypus. There she is.
That's Rosie.
She's from Hazel Park.
[WHISPERS]
By the race track.
Why don't you go over there
and sit with the other wingmen?
And you can, you know, give me
hand signals in case I get stuck.
Right?
Hi, there.
I'm JohnnyRingoinshmirtz .
Oh, so nice to finally
meet you face to face.
I must say, I like
a man with a strong chin.
Oh... [CHUCKLES]
Well, thank you.
A lot of people just focus on,
you know, the weak forehead.
- So you... so you care to dance?
- Well, I would love to.
♪ Do-si-do with all your might ♪
♪ Join elbows and circle right ♪
♪ Now join hands with the lady fair ♪
- # And promenade... #
- Well, Johnny, I'm impressed.
Well, these boots were
made for dancing. Literally!
Hello? Earth?
Hello?
[SCREAMS] Why are you talking
like my little brother, lizard boy?
It's me, Candace. Phineas!
Outer space alien super
crooks from a planet
of frogs and reptiles
have taken over our bodies.
Okay, what do you want me to do?
Really? You believe that
weird story just like that?
Yeah, it's been a long
summer, kid. What do you need?
Well, okay.
We need you to find those aliens
that look like us and get them
to stand on the Mind Share
machine staging area, over there.
- The what?
- You know, that platform thing.
It's the only way we can get
our brains back into our bodies.
Okay.
Oh, the machine is set to self-destruct
in one hour, so you gotta hurry.
Right, I'm on it, Phineas.
Morg: Hmm... Quickly, now. Get all
that gluten on that transport vehicle.
Hmm... Let's go!
I've seen Argonian moon
sloths that move faster.
[SQUARE DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
Hmm... What is that?
That sound...
I feel compelled to obey its
hypnotic quadrilateral voice commands.
Hmm... Must seek out source.
Where are they going now?
You got me all tuckered out with
that fancy foot work you been doin'.
- What should we do now?
- Oh, well, let's see.
We could rub our stomachs and...
Point to our mouths...
And later, we can roll our eyes
and put our head in our hands.
I thought we could get something to eat.
Oh, that sounds good, too. Let me...
Hang on, let me check.
Let's go!
Oh, rhinestone encrusted
oracle, command us with
your quadrilateral, right
angle voice commands! Hmm...
♪ Allemande with the ol' left hand ♪
♪ Hand over hand and heel over heel ♪
♪ The faster you go the better you feel ♪
♪ Now allemande right with a two and fro ♪
♪ Duck on under, don't be slow ♪
- # Two more times, then turn around... #
- Of course!
♪ Lift her up and set her down. ♪
♪ Now grab hands and... ♪
[YELLS]
♪ Listen up, dweebs, and listen good ♪
♪ You're gonna do what I say you should ♪
♪ If you're a reptile four by four ♪
♪ All join hands and head for the door ♪
That's right, cross on through there.
♪ Out the door and all turn west ♪
♪ Together now, don't be a pest ♪
♪ Wait right here for all of us ♪
♪ We're about to board
the Main Street bus ♪
[ALARM BLARING]
Out of your cells, ladies!
Inspection time!
Oh, Candace better hurry up.
♪ I'm gonna get my brothers back ♪
♪ You cosmic kleptomaniacs ♪
♪ So get on up with a hop and a spring ♪
♪ Climb up on the... ♪
The...
What the heck did
Phineas call that thing?
Number , front and center.
Number !
Candace: Oh, what did he call
it? The transfer stage arena...
The mind swap place...
The, the, um...
- Come on, Candace, hurry!
- Oh, I remember!
♪ Climb on up that platform thing! ♪
What have you got to say
for yourself this time, Morg?
We were framed! Hmm...
Candace, you did it.
That's right and when Mom gets
home, you're gonna be so...
- And just in the nick of time.
- Oh, never mind.
Oh, Johnny, isn't it amazing how
well we square danced together?
♪ Shake your butt, shake
your body, shake your body... ♪
Doofenshmirtz: It's the boots!
I don't usually have
boogie fever... [STAMMERING]
Oh, Johnny Ringoinshmirtz, you
said you only square danced!
Well, I could never go
out with someone who would
stretch the truth on
the Internet. Goodbye!
Oh, come on! You don't think that
cat really plays the piano, do ya?
♪ Shake your butt,
shake your body. Shake! ♪