"Cheers for Fears"
Candace: I'm totally sunk, Stace.
I've been working on Jeremy's
birthday present for months,
but it's not even close to
being as good as I want it to be.
Ugh. Lame.
Oh, come on, Candace.
You're overthinking this.
Jeremy will love anything
you make. What's your worry?
I just wanna do something really
special to show Jeremy how much I care.
Something way over the top!
Something that defies
the laws of physics
and exceeds the boundaries of
the imagination... Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
- No, no, no, no, no. Anything but that!
- You're going to have to ask for help from...
- Phineas and Ferb. [GROANS]
Well, now that we've ironed out the
bugs in our fusion-powered popper,
the popcorn is nice and fluffy.
And no longer glowing,
so we're good to go.
[MUMBLING SULLENLY]
What's that, Candace?
Let me talk to her, guys.
I speak "sullen."
[BOTH MUMBLING SULLENLY]
Candace messed up, and now
Jeremy's birthday is ruined.
Hey! You completely
misinterpreted what I said!
- Nuance.
- So, what's going on, Candace?
[SIGHS] It's Jeremy's birthday
and I wanna do mething
really special to show I care
and you guys are good at
doing, you know, what you do,
and well, all I have is this
scrapbook and I don't wanna blow it.
So, can you help me, huh?
Wow! This is great!
It's like a blueprint!
Ferb, I know what else
we're gonna do today!
Great! Start working your magic.
And no pressure, but
it's gotta be perfect!
We'll do our best.
- [MUMBLING] Thank you.
- Oh. She said, "Where's Perry?"
You have got to work on your sullen.
Hey there, Agent P.
Well, it's horrific movie night
at my house, where a bunch of
agency guys get together and make
fun of ridiculously bad movies.
He's always the guy
shushing everybody.
Well, there's a time for fun and
a time to pay attention.
[SCOFFS]
Anyway, Agent P, when we went to rent
tonight's horrific horror classic,
"Night of the Living Torso,"
it was already gone.
In fact, all the movies
within the horror genre
throughout Danville
have been checked out!
Which is definitely a bummer
and could possibly be evil.
Go check on Doof and see if
he's bogarting those movies.
Uh, before : , if possible.
- Candace, I'm headed out.
- Okay, Mom.
- What's with the box?
- Oh, uh, nothing.
I just wanted to see what
this stuff looked like outside.
Candace, is this a ploy
to get me to go outside
- to see what the boys are up to?
- No! Er, I mean, no need.
Just go, and, uh, feel free
to stay out for a while.
Stay out all afternoon in fact.
[GIGGLES NERVOUSLY]
Reverse psychology. Nice try, hon.
I'm glad to see you changing it up.
- See you later.
- Okay, bye.
So, here's all the
Jerem-obilia I could find.
- Now, what?
- Cool.
Now, just go around
town and take pictures
of all the Jeremy related
places and things you can.
The camera will transmit them back to us
to incorporate into our Mega
Interactive Scrapbook-aganza.
No problemo. Candace
is on field duty. Peace!
I'm sorry. Were you
going to say something?
Okay.
[CHORUS SINGING]
# Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! #
[SCREAMING] Ugh. Isn't
that always the way?
Right at the exciting part,
that's when the doorbell rings.
Or, you know, a platypus breaks it down.
Anyway, behold the Worst Fear-inator!
What?
Oh, yeah, I guess from your point of
view it's a little difficult to see.
Let me just get this out of
the way for you. Here we go.
Now, in my never-ending
pursuit of domination,
I discovered that the best evil rulers
used fear to keep people in line.
So to get in the right headspace,
I did what any logical
evil scientist would do.
Rented all the scary movies
in Danville for research,
even the lousy ones like
"Dead Batteries."
Which is actually better than
its prequel, "Batteries that Work,"
which was just a bunch of portable
electronic devices functioning properly.
Once I was terrified,
I was able to analyze
the fear-based synapses of the brain
and extrapolate some wonderful data.
Basically, I sh**t
someone with the machine
and whatever they're afraid of
actually appears in real life!
What do ya say, Perry the Platypus?
You like being a guinea pig?
Actually, you'd look
kinda cute as a guinea pig.
I wonder if you'd be teal.
I bet you would.
I bet you'd be a cute
little teal guinea pig.
Something to think about for the future.
Anyway, Perry the Platypus, let's fire
this baby up and see what scares you.
Because you know, it's going
to materialize right over there.
All right, so what are
you afraid of? Where is it?
What the hey! Nothing?
[READING]
Ugh, that figures. I guess you'll
just have to hang around! [LAUGHS]
Oh, wait, this one's better.
I'll just leave you here because
you're all tied up! [LAUGHS]
[STUTTERS] One last one.
You're gonna love it.
See you later, because it isn't
my tail that's upside down!
No? No, no, I should've stuck
with the first two. You're right.
Ooh, score!
That awning is the same
color as Jeremy's eyes.
And daffodils!
Just like the ones he
gave me on our third date!
Incoming. Perfect.
Same color as Jeremy's eyes.
Huh, flower.
I'm drawing a blank.
Daffodil. Third date.
Right. Now the machine
will take the images
and print them in
a giant, scaled-up form.
Nice touch.
Smells like my Grandma.
I thought your grandma
smelled like ant pheromones.
No, that's the other one.
These should really make
Jeremy's Birthday Scrapbook-aganza
- a full sensory experience!
- Great.
Just what I always wanted.
To fully sense Jeremy.
Okay, what else? Ah!
- 'Scuse. Hot cocoa.
- Hey!
[SLURPS]
[SMACKS LIPS] Not bad.
Although Jeremy prefers it
with a little more cinnamon.
I gotta make a note
of that for the boys.
I guess my fortune came true.
"You will share your cocoa
with a long-necked teenager."
- See? Right there.
- Mine just says:
"Your boyfriend's gonna get a
fortune cookie at a French cafe."
Get ready, Perry the Platypus!
The Tri-State Area's about to
confront its fears! [LAUGHS]
[SCREAMS] Ow! Ow!
I landed on my jawbone!
Right on that weird
sticky-outy part under your ear.
[STAMMERS] And my jawbone
landed on the remote.
Oh, Doof.
Okay. Nothing bad will happen as long as
I don't think about anything scary. I...
[BANGING ON DOOR]
Oh, no! I couldn't help it. It
just popped in there.
It can't be.
Vending machines are taking over!
I said it could happen!
No, stay back, stay back.
[WHIMPERING]
No, no, no, no, I'm really not
hungry. Really... [STUTTERS]
No, no, no, not the
tiny vanilla cookies!
How long have those
been in there? [GAGGING]
Okay, Candace. The
Scrapbook-aganza is complete!
Plus, we got Love Handel to
come in for a live soundtrack.
Okay, guys. Performance level.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm gonna need a test
run so I can make notes.
- Sure! You're the boss.
- That's right.
[LOVE HANDEL SINGING]
♪ The way you play guitar
That crazy octave reach ♪
♪ Your uncle's meatball sub
We must have eaten two each ♪
♪ Here's where you ate that soup ♪
♪ And got that stomach flu ♪
♪ Your blue eyes
Make me melt with a wink ♪
♪ You're always so polite
You never say when I stink ♪
♪ It's a giant D scrapbook ♪
♪ And it's all about you ♪
♪ I know that I can be high-strung ♪
♪ Enough to make a
lot of boyfriends flee ♪
♪ But you're still here with me now ♪
♪ Let's make some more memories ♪
♪ Let's make some more memories ♪
♪ You had hunky ankles
in that sandal commercial ♪
♪ The time you saved that tree ♪
♪ It was so controversial ♪
♪ It's a giant D scrapbook ♪
♪ It's a giant D scrapbook ♪
♪ It's a giant D scrapbook ♪
♪ And it's all about you ♪
♪ And it's all about you ♪
That sounded great, guys, but
it's a B-natural in the chorus.
- Told ya.
- That's what I was playing.
Doofenshmirtz: No! No! Not that!
Anything but the fake red
licorice! It tastes like...
[MUFFLED GRUNTING]
What possessed me to make
such a horrifying inator?
[MUFFLED GRUNTING]
Well, I guess now we know
what scares vending machines.
Well, Candace?
Do you think Jeremy will like it?
Yeah, I just have a few notes here.
It's perfect! I love it, guys!
- I love it, love it, love it, I love it...
- She had me at smiley face.
Perry the Platypus! You're back!
I am never setting that puppy off again.
Oops!
It's really perfect.
I'm glad Mom's gone for the
day, 'cause my biggest fear
is that this is just gonna fly
away before Jeremy gets here.
[CAR HORN HONKS] [GASPS]
And there he is. Whoo-hoo!
Uh, did anyone else see
that weird green beam?
I wasn't gonna mention it.
Jeremy! Jeremy! Jeremy!
Jeremy! Jeremy! Jeremy!
You gotta see what the
boys built in the backyard.
No, no, no! No! No!
It's gone!
My worst fear has come true.
I totally blew it.
Let me guess.
You had your brothers build me something
super cool for my birthday
and now it disappeared.
It's okay, I get it.
We don't have the invention anymore,
but here's what we used as a blueprint.
Candace designed it herself.
♪ It's a regular-sized scrapbook ♪
♪ And it's all about you ♪
♪ And it's all about you ♪
Oops! I really meant to hit
the self-destruct button.
I'll just get this for you.
Uh, so, uh, do you need
your parking validated...
Oh, oh, you found a spot on
the street! Ah, lucky you.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus
and all that. You know.
Isabella, you've been
awfully quiet all day.
I have just earned my
hours of silence patch.
I can see why you don't talk much,
Ferb. I actually quite enjoyed it.
I ended up having an inner
dialogue with myself all day.
Welcome to Ferb Land.
Yes, but the universe
is constantly expanding.
Then, what is it expanding into?
ALL: Ooh!
Okay, now my mind is blown.