04x38 - Klimpaloon Ultimatum

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Phineas and Ferb". Aired: August 2007 to November 2015.*
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Stepbrothers adventures during their summer vacation.
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04x38 - Klimpaloon Ultimatum

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ There's a hundred and
four days of summer vacation ♪


♪ and school comes
along just to end it ♪


♪ So the annual problem
for our generation ♪


♪ is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket,
or fighting a mummy ♪


♪ or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something
that doesn't exist ♪


Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots or
locating Frankenstein's brain ♪


It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird,
painting a continent ♪


♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see, there's
a whole lot of stuff to do ♪


♪ before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry.

♪ So stick with us, 'cause
Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪


♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas
and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪


Mom, Phineas and Ferb
are making a title sequence!

Candace: Okay, Stace.
Let's try again.


[mumbles] No!

It's really more in
the cheeks. Like this...

- Nyang, nyang, nyang!
- Oh, I give up!

It's a good thing you won that contest
to perform back up with Love Händel.

Yes, in the ballad of Klimpaloon,
I will be playing Klimpaloon.


- Check out my klimpy style.
- Girl, I have already cashed

that cheque. And I don't
even know what that means!

Both: [giggle] Girl talk!

Mom: Honey, the limo's here
to take us to the award show.


- Be right there! I gotta go.
- You go, girl!

Let's never speak of this again.

- Come on, boys, time to go!
- You guys look great!

Well, Lindana and Max Modem
have to look their best

- when presenting our category, don't we?
- What's you got there?

This is the first journal of the
famous explorer, Sir Alvin Shackleberg.

He was the first person
to sight Klimpaloon,

the magical old-timey bathing
suit that lives in the Himalayas.

We got this to help Candace
research her "Nyang, nyang, nyangs"

- for the Ballad of Klimpaloon.
- How marvelous. It reminds me...

Sorry, dad, there's
no time for that now.

We gotta go while I'm still in the zone.

- Nyang, nyang, nyang, nyang....
- She's good.

It's like Klimpaloon was
right here in the room with us.

Whoa! Sweet limo!

Ferb, I know what
we're gonna do tomorrow.

How do we do it?
Hey, where's Perry?

[chattering]

Ah, Agent P. I see you got the memo.

It's transcendental
meditation week. Namaste.


[rhythmic drumming]
Doofenshmirtz has been spotted...

Carl, enough with the
drumming! [drumming stops]

Sorry, sir, I just, sort
of, got into a groove.

Anyway, Doofenshmirtz has
been spotted as a seat filler

at the th Annual -hour
Tri-State Area Music Awards.

As you know, Doof's brother,
Roger, is emceeing the event.

We're not sure what Doof's up to,
but we need you to suss it out.

That's the... that's the cloud.
Good luck, Agent P.

Live from Random stadium:
Random Swimwear presents


th Annual -hour Tri-State Area
Music Awards. The Tristies!


Sponsored by Random Swimwear.
Be wet, arbitrarily.


Tonight's musical guests
include Love Händel,


Slamm Hammer, Tiny Cowboy,
Guys in the Parque,


Danny and the Jay-tones,
the Paisley Sideburn Brothers,


Marty the Rabbit Boy
and his musical blender,


and many, many more.

Seriously, many more,
'cause it's... it's hours.


Please welcome your host and
lovable Mayor, Roger Doofenshmirtz!


We've got a lot of great
music for you tonight,

and a lot of other music.

So let's get things started, shall we?

Please welcome to the stage our presenters
for the fact-based song category,

the girl who just wants to have fun

and the guy who, I guess,
wants fun to have him.

Lindana and Max Modem!
[cheers and applause]


Yeah! [whooping]
Go Mom! Go Dad! Yeah!

Just go, just go. I'll fix it later.

- Our first nominee for...
- ... the fact-based song category is,


Slamm Hammer with their hit
Trees are made of wood.


[playing heavy metal song]

♪ Wooow!
Trees are made of wood! ♪


[feedback whining]

[audience applauding]

- Oh!
- The second nominee in fact base song category


- Excuse me. Pardon me.
- ...The Hockey Hooligans with Hockey Z- .


[Hockey Hooligans
playing rock song]

Excuse me. Excuse me, pardon me.

# oh, yeah #

Doofenshmirtz: Excusez-moi.
Con permiso, por favor.


Hockey Hooligans: # Don't turn
away I'm talking to you, sir... #


[chuckles]

[song continues playing on stage]

Aha! Perry the platypus!
Your timing is incredible!

And by that I mean completely credible!

But you've found yourself
in a hairy situation.

Because of the trap, which is a wig.

Stop me if you've already
made the connection.

Anyway, you're just in
time for my latest inator!

Behold!

I know what you're thinking, and no,

I did not invent a spray
bottle, Perry the platypus,

But just stay with me through
my backstory, all right?

You see, I was reading the
Danville city charter, again,

when I learned an interesting fact.

Back in -aught- , Danville
actually elected a warthog as mayor.


The public was fed up with the
previous administration and thought,


"hey, what's the worst
that could happen?"


[squeals] Nepotism, that's
what. He filled the cabinet


with his uncles and
brothers and distant cousins.


And all of city hall was full
of swine! Except for one chair


that they kept empty so, you know,
it wouldn't be so conspicuous.


So, it was decided
never to allow another

warthog to be in a
position of authority.

[beeping] [stutters]
Perry the platypus, are you texting?

While I'm monologuing?

You know, I'm just gonna
hold on to this until I'm done

'cause I can get your full attention.

Anyway, I'm thinking, "nepotism,
city hall, my brother Roger,"

And suddenly I knew what to do.

Turn my brother into a warthog!

So, through the use of
pseudo-technology I created this elixir,


that, when sprayed on an individual,

actually transforms them into a warthog!

What? I said "pseudo."

Anyway, once I collected
enough elixir, I put it in this,

my warthog-sprayer-inator!
See?

There's a method to my lameness!
I'm gonna find out when Roger's on stage

and then I'm gonna turn him into
a warthog in front of everybody!

That will remove him from power
because of the aforementioned

warthog nepotism act.

But, you know, the embarrassment's
just a... it's a cherry on top.

Right thos way Mr. Mayor.
[gasps]


Now's my chance!
Peace out, Perry the platypus!

[crashing]

Love Händel with Candace Flynn!
You're on in five!

Omg! Omg! Omg! Omg...

I guess, just introduce the next act.

The last nominee in
the fact-based category,


the ballad of Klimpaloon
sung by Love Händel...


...Who are joined by contest winner...

Both: ...Candace Flynn!

[audience applauds]

[whistling]
Go, Candace!

Stop! I object!
[audience gasps]

This song does not belong in
the fact-based song category!

Klimpaloon is not real!

All: What?

My nana told me stories

- about Klimpaloon!
- Well, that's not good enough.

Seeing is believing. And no
one has ever seen Klimpaloon!

Um, excuse me, but I have seen him.

That's right! You tell him, Candace!

I'm afraid that's not
good enough either.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mittington Random!

Thank you, Max, uh, whoever.

Mittington Random here,
sponsor of the show

and president of Random Swimwear.
You're welocme.

According to the rules, if fact
based song is called in the question,

physical proof must be
presented here within hours.

- How are we supposed to do that?
- Well, actually, you can't.

- Wait, what?
- Oh, Daniel.

The rules clearly state
that the band along with the

presenters are to be locked in
a sound-proof booth for hours

or until evidence is provided,
whichever comes first.

- Wait a minute. Why presenters?
- I can't hear you

'cause you're supposed to
be in the sound-proof booth,

- so move along.
- Oh, okay.

Candace! You're in charge!

Okay, sorry for the inconvenience,
folks. But it looks like

we're gonna have to move this
category to the end of the show.

[soft calypso music playing]

Phineas, Ferb! We need to find Klimpaloon
and bring him back within hours.

We're way ahead of you.
Ferb's rounding up the g*ng.

Those darn kids! I'll
stop at nothing to make

sure they don't prove the
existence of Klimpaloon.

Nothing!

You're on next, Mr. Mayor, after

- the pork-based world music act.
- Now's my chance!

No! Oh, Perry the platypus!

Swine Flute! You're on!
Where's your tambourine player?

No show, man!
[laughs]

Look at you, Perry
the rasta warthogipus!

[grunts]

Kid, you've got the goods!

Announcer: And now, here's Swine Flute!

[tambourine jingles]

More tambourine, man!

Isn't anyone gonna talk
about how we got here so fast?

Sorry, Buford, we don't have
the time for that right now.

- Ferb?
- Two words, travel montage.

I got two words for you, cli-ché.

[music]

[all whooping and screaming]

Oh, yeah.

Anyone else get the feeling
we're being followed?

- Baljeet: No, not a bit.
- Isabella: Paranoid!


Okay, Ferb, where to next?

- That's it?
- We lost the auction for volume two.

- We've got sniped.
- What about that cave

- up there with waving Klimpaloon totem?
- Baljeet: If Buford is now


the brains of this operation,
my life has lost all meaning.


Buford: Watch it. Long
underwear makes the best wedgies.


Candace, make the sound!

[echoing] Nyang, nyang, nyang, nyang!

- Nyang, nyang, nyang, nyang!
- All: Whoa!

- It's him!
- Isabella: Klimpaloon! Yay!

- We found him!
- Wish I could un-see that.

[all gasping]

- Got him!
- All: Mr. Random?

This unforeseen plot twist is
brought to you by Random Swimwear!

[soft calypso music playing]

Wow! I totally thought that shadowy
figure was gonna be Slamm Hammer.

[crowd applauding]

Roger: Welcome back to the Tristies.

Our next category...

And then the hobo gave it
back to me, quixotically.

And that was the day before we met.

So the next day at breakfast, I
ordered poached eggs with salmon.

But I didn't have
poached eggs with salmon.


I wonder how the boys are doing.

- Get us down from here!
- Uh, that really doesn't align

with my plans, so not gonna happen.

Look, if you're going to
destroy my chance at stardom,

I think I deserve an explanation.

All right. I do like the
sound of my own voice.

So, for years now, I've wanted
to find the elusive Klimpaloon.

And finally, after
countless hours web surfing,

I found Shackleberg's journal
on an online auction site

only to lose the first
volume to you two!

I did manage to get his second journal,

but it only contains
the last page of the map,

the map that you have in volume one.

So I concocted a long, convoluted plan

to get you to lead me right to him. Huh?

Hmm. Yeah.

- But why?
- You see, sales have gone flat.

You can only reinvent the bikini
and board shorts so many times.

But if I could convince the world to start
wearing old-timey bathing suits again,

that's revolutionary!

But to do that, I was
gonna need a gimmick.

- Nyang, nyang, nyang!
- What a combo!

He's self-propelled, he's got a
weird, disturbing face on his chest,

and he makes unintelligible noises.

Seriously, just the whole
package is irresistible!

And he's all mine!
He's all mine!

- You can't own him.
- He's a living thing!

- He belongs to the ages.
- Well, the ages should have kept

their receipt, because
he belongs to me now.

And once I unravel his
secrets, I'll make a fortune.

Ah, there's my ride. Brought
to you by Random Swimwear!

We can't let him unravel
Klimpaloon's secrets!

Unravel? I've got this!

Knot untying patch, check!

- Come on! We've got to save him!
- Baljeet: But how?

Mr. Random is already miles away.

We have no idea where he is
going and no way to get there

- except on foot!
- Wow, what is with all the negativity?

Enough already. Time is running out

and I am not going to blow my big break.

Let's look around. Maybe
we can find some clues.

See? Now that's constructive.

Look!
It's one of Klimpaloon's threads,

and it's trying to find
its way back to him!

- Follow that thread!
- We cannot follow a thread!

Again with the negativity.

Maybe we can use it as
a homing device. Ferb?

Let's go!

Baljeet: Is no one going to talk
about where we got the snowboards?


Candace: There's no time for that now!

Come on! Come on! Come on!

Oh, man! Roger's not on
until the end of the show?

- Can I get mics to him?
- No. Who do you think you are?

- I'm his brother.
- Nepotism will get you nowhere with me.

Yeah, well, maybe not yet, but
wait till Roger's a warthog.

I do not know what that means.

Phineas: That must be
Mr. Random's fortress. Follow me!


- Now what?
- Okay.

I'll just create a
diversion here so that

Buford and Baljeet can
flank them from the left.

Ferb can then use his
intimidating shout to scatter them

so that Isabella can
come in from behind.

That should work unless
they have reinforcements.

What do you think,
Baljeet? Can you give me

- a number crunch real quick?
- Uh, give me a sec.

I am coming up with a
. % chance of success.

- Well, we've seen worse.
- All right guys, let's do this.

Buford van Stomm!

- He just ran in.
- Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!


- Dang it, Buford!
- Stick to the plan, man.

Stick to the plan!

What the...

What? I used gamer strategy.

Okay, now I just have
to set the spritzer,

and the timer, and whoop, there he is!

My brother the warthog,
mayor no more.

[laughs]

[sighs]

You know, it's not the same
without Perry the platypus.

I can't believe he ditched me!

One lousy award and he
goes all diva. [scoffs]

[reporters chattering]

What the heck is all this?

That's just so wrong.
They're just horrible!


You'll have to excuse me if this
device seems incredibly threatening.

It's only because it is
incredibly threatening. [chuckling]

[all gasping]
Klimpaloon!

As you clearly saw, my
previous attempts to create the

future of swimwear without
Klimpaloon just were not working.

You fiend!

Look, I'm giving
"old-timey" here a new twist.

Flash back to fashion forward.

It's a little high
concept, but take a look.

♪ We're flashing
back to fashion forward ♪


♪ yes, the old is the new new ♪

♪ one size fits all with
just a little stretching ♪


♪ be you ' " or ' " ♪

♪ why rely on inspiration ♪

♪ when the old stuff's tried and true ♪

♪ we just revamped a tired idea ♪

♪ and made a new old-timey
swimsuit for you ♪


- Pretty catchy, don't ya think?
- Yeah, if by "catchy" you mean

"sucks the life out of the room
and makes me wanna puke," then yeah.

Anywho, now that I have the original,
I can figure out what makes him tick.

Which brings us back, obviously, to
the incredibly threatening machine.

So, it's time to extract
Klimpaloon's life force,

And, uh, then, of course, infuse
it into my latest swimwear line.

- We have to do something!
- How about this?

Random: Aw, come on! Did we blow
the breaker again, Fred? Fred?


Frederick, it's...
That stings. [crash]


Phineas: Come on, guys! Now's
our chance to free Klimpaloon...


- Buford: Buford van Stomm!
- Baljeet: Oh no, not again.


[crashing]

- Buford: So I did it again.
- Candace: So what do we do?


Phineas: Save Klimpaloon, of course.

- Nyang, nyang, nyang.
- There he is! Follow his voice.


- Buford: Got him!
- Baljeet: Ow! That is me!


Whoops. My bad. That
wedgie was unintentional.


I got him! Let's go!

Guards! Don't let him escape!

Oh, they are too fast. We
are never going to make it.

Ok, we gotta split up.
Ferb, hide Klimpaloon

under your jacket to keep
him quiet and I'll lure the

guards the other way with
my "nyang, nyang, nyang-ing."

- Just get him to awards show.
- But Candace, you'll miss your big chance to...

Saving Klimpaloon is more important.

Now go!
Nyang, nyang, nyang...

All right, hold on.

That way!
Follow that vintage swimwear!

Buford: Good thing
they left the door open.


Nyang, nyang, nyang, nyang...

All: Oh! Cold! Cold! Cold!
[shivering]


Great, I'm reduced to yak transport.

Got it, boss. It's go time.

...and that's how we met.

Okay, folks. On stage in five.

- Righty-ho.
- Wow. What a great story.

[snores]
Bobbi! Come on!


Huh? What? Wait up, guys!

And now to present our
final award for the evening,


which of course was supposed
to be our first award,


but you remember that whole "does
Klimpaloon exist" hullabaloo.


Anyway, welcome again
Lindana and Max Modem!


[audience applauding]

Unfortunately, due to lack of evidence,

it appears that love händel
has been disqualified.

So without further ado,

the winner of the award for
best fact-based song is...

Wait! We have the evidence!

I'm sorry, kids. The
journal isn't good enough.

You need actual, physical proof.

But we do have physical proof.
Ferb?

Nyang, nyang, nyang, nyang.
[cheering]

I thought you said you'd stop at nothing
to keep them from finding Klimpaloon.

That's right.
I did nothing and stopped.

- How did you find him?
- And why are you all in parkas?

There's no time for that now! Mr.
Random is a ruthless venture capitalist

who captured all of us in his
Himalayan fortress where he performed

inhuman experiments on
bathing suits and tried to steal

Klimpaloon in pursuit of a
revolutionary swimsuit sales gimmick!

Oh, Candace, not here. Not now.

No, Mom, really, Candace
is telling the truth!

[scoffs] What an active
imagination these kids have.

We don't really have time for that
now. We need to present an award.

[all gasping]
No, no, let's get the award done.

Tick, tick, tick, time's a-wasting.
Shall we?

Well, obviously Klimpaloon is real.

So it gives me great
pleasure to present the award

for best fact-based song to...

...Love Händel,
for the Ballad of Klimpaloon!

Thank you.
Thank you so much!


And a big thank you to all of the
kids who brought Klimpaloon here.


[cheering]

Come on, Candace, take your place.

[pop rock music playing]

♪ Oh! ♪

♪ oh! ♪

♪ oh! ♪

♪ he stands in winter
he's striped and frozen ♪


♪ he is completely out of style ♪

♪ he got no hands
he got no feet ♪


♪ all mouth and teeth
but he don't smile ♪


♪ he's made out of wool
he's itchy to wear ♪


♪ he's got broad
stripes and savoir-faire ♪


♪ he's out of place almost everywhere ♪

♪ since ♪

♪ he's a costume out of time ♪

♪ both ridiculous and sublime ♪

♪ seems innocuous, but
I'm afraid he's scaring me ♪


♪ he's the magical old-timey bathing
suit that lives in the Himalayas ♪


♪ they call him Klimpaloon ♪

♪ Klimpaloon ♪

♪ if you're between Tibet and Nepal ♪

♪ and you're quiet
and you can hear the call ♪


♪ of Klimpaloon ♪

♪ Klimpaloon ♪

Both: Nyang, nyang, nyang, nyang,
nyang, nyang, nyang, nyang, nyang.


♪ he stands in winter! ♪

[cheers]

Wow! He really is magical.

Actually, he's being
pulled up by a cable.

Thanks, Miguel.

- Let's hear it for Love Händel.
- Look at them, enjoying them tryin'!


[mockingly] "Ooh, we're so happy.
We saved Klimpaloon. Let's all sing."

Well, enjoy it now, because I
will get my hands on Klimpaloon!

I'll unravel his secret even if I have
to rip him apart, stitch by stitch.

And then the moronic people
of the world will b*at a path

to my door and beg for my
cheap Klimpaloon knock-off line

'cause consumers are just
like Lemmings, mrainless little

animals that I can manipulate
right off the fiscal cliff

like the puppet master
I am! [laughs sinisterly]

Uh, uh, um...

- Was that thing on?
- Audience: Yes! Yes, it was!


- My career's over, isn't it?
- Audience: Yes! Yes, it is!


[timer dings]

And I'm a warthog.

Curse you, Perry the...

Well, I guess he doesn't
really get credit for this one,

he was just playing
tambourine with Swine Flute.

It's not really...
[sighs] Well.

- Sort of anticlimactic for me.
- So where is Klimpy?

Don't tell me he ditched us for
one of those swanky after-parties.

I guess he's on his way
back to the Himalayas.

- Buford: See you, Klimpy.
- Baljeet: Safe travels!

I don't want him to go. I
want him to stay with us.

Klimpaloon doesn't belong to
us. He belongs to the ages.

I said that back in the Himalayas!
Does no one listen to me?

Baljeet: Uh, how are we getting home?

♪ We're flashing
back to fashion forward ♪


♪ yes, the old is the new new ♪

♪ one size fits all with
just a little stretching ♪


♪ be you ' " or ' " ♪

♪ why rely on inspiration ♪

♪ when the old stuff's tried and true ♪

♪ we just revamped a tired idea ♪

♪ and made a new old-timey
swimsuit for you ♪


Pretty catchy, don't ya think?
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