01x29 - The Curse of the Cross-Eyed Moose

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

OK, here we are. Two double
Meh Burgers with extra pickles.

Boy, I love Meh Burger.

Something about their mediocre
food makes my stomach rumble.

[rumbling]

So that conveniently timed event
wasn't you?

Well, it wasn't only me.
We'd better find out what caused it.

- Want to throw me at its face?
- More than anything.

- [Eggman] Cut!
- Huh?

Grrr!

Gah!

Ugh!

I'm used to you ruining
my plans, schemes, weapons,

fortresses, confidence
and robots,

but now you've gone too far.

What, Egghead?

That robot wasn't supposed
to be destroyed in this scene.

Now I'm gonna have to rewrite
the entire second act.

Orbot! Script!

- Are you making a movie?
- Not a movie, the movie.

And there may be a way
to save the sh*t you ruined.

Would you like to play
Sonic the Hedgehog in my film?

- No way.
- He's an irritating character

who constantly annoys me.

It's the role
you were born to play.

Come on, Egghead.

This movie thing is a ruse
to distract us from some evil plan.

No, it's a film.
Something totally new.

Not a drama, not a documentary,
but somewhere in between.

Sort of like brunch.

Yeah, with rotten eggs
on the menu.

Sorry, not interested.

You know, you could
encourage me once in a while.

Do you have any idea
what's going on outside?

Judging by your outrage,
I'd guess someone's having fun.

Eggman is making a movie.

I know, he wanted me
to be in it. I turned him down.

He found someone else
to play you.

Duh... maybe if I knock down
enough robots,

then chilli dogs will fly out.

[Eggman] Cut!

Good. But remember,
you're Sonic the Hedgehog.

So make it louder and stupider.

Let's go again
in three, two, one.

Duh! Duh!

Duhh...

What's this? Sonic the Hedgehog
causing trouble yet again?

I'll make quick work
of that menace.

- Cut!
- Hey! Only I say cut.

This film is a joke.

You cast Dave the Intern as me?

You turned down the part.

I knew you'd get it wrong.

Tell you what,
if you agree to play you,

I'll let you have creative input
on your character.

[clears throat]
My client will do it.

You'll need someone to look out
for your best interests.

- I'll be your manager.
- Huh.

OK, I'm in.

Excellent. Dave, you're demoted.
Back to catering.

I never stopped
doing the catering.

Oh, no! My enchiladas!

Ohh! Ohh!

Lunch is gonna be late.

In this scene
the giant robot chases you.

You run up that wall,
jump off the top

and do that annoying thing

where you turn into a pointy ball
and blow up my machine.

- Mm... that sounds dangerous.
- [both] Yeah. So?

My client will definitely not
be doing any stunts.

But he has to destroy
the robot.

I want this
to have universal appeal.

And one thing
everyone can relate to

is having their robots destroyed
by a meddlesome hedgehog.

Then hire a stunt man.

If you need me to do my stunts,
I also have a Knuckles costume.

Action!

Stunt man in!

And... action!

Cut! Great scene, Sonic.
I like the new ending.

Let's set up for the next sh*t,
people.

[gasping]

Cut! Stunt man!

Action!

Stunt man!

Action!

Ow! Hot.

Oww! Hot, hot, hot!

Don't ad-lib!

This footage is absolutely spectacular.
Isn't it, Yesbots?

- Oh, yes.
- You've done it again.

Mmm.

Yo, Egghead. I've been reading
the rest of the script...

- And?
- It's confusing.

You present yourself as
an underdog and a powerful tyrant,

which makes no sense.

I'm a very complex character.

- Absolutely.
- Couldn't agree more.

Who's gonna believe
that an evil scientist

can't defeat a hedgehog?

Absolutely. Correct.

Anyone else have something
to say about my script?

Eggman is the worst director
I've ever worked with.

You've never worked
with another director,

so he's also the best director
you've ever worked with.

I'm an actor.
I was being dramatic.

- But this script is a mess.
- Let me see.

Hmm.

If he just covers the origin
of his moustache in a flashback

instead of putting it
at the beginning...

I didn't think of that.

This part where you battle
Drillbot could be pretty cool,

but it belongs at the end.

And he spends too much time
on this musical number.

Hand me a pen.

Hey, Egghead,
Tails and I saved your film.

What are you talking about?

This is dreadful.
Sonic would never say that.

We do the script my way
or I walk.

This film must be my vision,
not yours.

Mine! Mine, mine, mine!

If you know everything,
Mr and Mrs Know Everything,

then where's your camera,
your robots?

Neither one of you
even has a beret.

I hate that hedgehog.

- Sonic?
- I'm busy.

Please.
You've got to stop Dr Eggman.

From making a movie?

The movie's all a ruse.

He's just pretending to film

so he can use Drillbot to drill
for Unacquireum under the set.

Why are you telling me this?

Then he's going to use
the Unacquireum

to build an all-new robot army
and throw out all the old ones.

Including us.

He's going to melt us down
and use us for scrap.

My lifelong dream was to not be
melted down and used for scrap.

So much for your scheme,
Egghead.

[Eggman] Cut!

Terrific! That's a wrap.

Terrific? I saw through your ruse
and foiled your evil plan.

It wasn't a ruse, Sonic.
It was a double ruse.

Yeah. That's approximately...
two ruses, give or take.

Quiet, you.

Thanks for appearing
in the last scene of my film.

[laughs crazily]

The old double ruse.
How did I not see that one coming?

[applause and cheering]

This film has success
written all over it.

I think the question
on everybody's mind is...

what will your next project be?

The plan was always

that this would be the first
instalment of a quadrilogy.

Better than a trilogy
because it's four instead of three.

What's that, per cent?

Ooh.

There's supporting actor Sonic
the Hedgehog with his manager.

Ignore them. This is my night.

[music]

[excited chatter]

Shh.

Now that I finally have
a moustache,

I can embark on my dream
of world domination.

[all laugh]

What? Stop laughing.

I order you to stop!

I can finally fulfil
my lifelong evil dream.

Building my own theme park.

[all laugh]

Grrr!

Why aren't they hypnotised?

They're supposed
to be hypnotised.

In your haste
you forgot to install

the Movie Mindslaver Device
into the camera.

So much for my triple ruse.

OK, everybody out.

[all groan]

[music]

This really is quite good.

Ooh! Here's the scene
where I watch my movie.