01x06 - Kobayashi

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Star Trek: Prodigy". Aired: October 2021 to present.*
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In 2383 a crew of young aliens in the Delta Quadrant find an abandoned Starfleet ship, the USS Protostar and take control.
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01x06 - Kobayashi

Post by bunniefuu »

[dramatic music]

[exciting music]

♪ ♪

[dramatic musical flourish]

[screaming]

[all panting]

Jeez.
How fast were we going?

[groans]
Around Warp -point...

Pog's gonna puke...

Proto-Drive has gone offline
and inoperable.

Slowing to impulse power.

- My father, is he...
- We lost him.

- But where are we?
- Computer, chart our trajectory.

We began in the Delta Quadrant.
And landed...

[gasps]

- Hmm, , lightyears away.
- Huh?

Ha-ha, nice try!

No juiced-up starship
in the galaxy's that fast!

- How is that even possible?
- I... I have no idea.

Come on.
Almost, almost, almost.

[grunts]

♪ ♪

- Dal, may we have a word?
- Uh, yeah, sure!

Just doing... [clears throat]
important captain stuff.

What's on your mind?

- Or all of your minds?
- Uh, well, we've been talking.

And arguing, uh...

- We want to go to the Federation.
- The Federation?

Can't we just
enjoy our freedom a bit?

- We just got away.
- And barely escaped with our lives.

- The Diviner is still out there.
- And we can't expect

that Proto-Drive to save our
hides if it ain't even workin'.

I'm scared, Dal.

- Maybe they can help us?
- Maybe. Or maybe they'll arrest us

for stealing a Starfleet ship.

Ah, don't feed us that mudslop.

We're refugees.
They gotta understand.

So you all wanna go,
even if your captain's

- completely against it?
- Uh-uh-uh.

Self-appointed captain.

- Aside from you, it is unanimous.
- Oh.

Uh, nuh-uh, we haven't
heard from Murf yet.

Hey, uh, where is Murf?

[wind whooshing]

[cries out]

♪ ♪

- Murf? Where are you?
- Murf?

[sighs]

Murf? Oh.

- Hmm.
- Well, uh, I should probably go.

Wait.

I never thanked you
for coming back for me.

- If you didn't, I might not have...
- It's fine.

Janeway wouldn't let us leave
till we had everybody.

Oh.
Right.

Yeah, well...
[clears throats]

Well, uh...
we cleared a bunk for you,

whenever you're feeling better.

♪ ♪

Short 'n' slimy, you in here?

[wind whooshing]
Whoa! What is this?

[Murf grumbling and screaming]

- Janeway?
- Ah, Holodeck Program

Andoria Four is up and running.
Classic.

- Holo-whato?
- Holodeck.

As in "holographic simulation room."

With thousands
of unique programs,

you can experience such stuff
as dreams are made of.

- Ah!
- [chuckles] It feels so real.

- Computer, end program.
- Huh?

That's not all she can do.

Wanna skydive on Ceti Alpha Five?

- Huh?
- [gasping]

[both screaming]

Fight in a kal-if-fee
gladiatorial match?

[dramatic music]

[loud growling]

[both scream]

Defeat Count Dracula?

[dramatic organ music]

How about a Jane Eyre
holo-novel?

- It's my personal favorite.
- Oh, Mr. Poggy!

You've arrived
at our cotillion just in time.

After postprandial canapés,

- we have a five-hour poetry recital...
- Ah, yeah.

- Then we'll watch...
- Hey. What about this?

The "Kobayashi Maru"?

An advanced Academy training
module designed to test

the greatest captains Starfleet
has to offer.

- Greatest captains?
- Oh, boy, here we go.

Not sure you're quite ready
for that one.

How about your silly little
cone and disk game instead?

Little more your speed?

I think I can handle
some little Starfleet test.

Janeway, dismissed.

What about the rest of the crew?

Nah.
Once I ace this thing,

they'll see I'm just as good
as any Federation crony.

Then they'll have to listen
to their captain.

[gasps]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

You have chosen
the Kobayashi Maru.


Please select your desired crew.

This is gonna be fun.

Hey, I found Murf!

Better not be eating our Chimerium.

Or the photon grenades!
No, no, no, no, no!

That's not food!
Spit 'em out!

That's not good.

Curious. Your tibialis
anterior has already healed.

You are in perfect health,
aside from low serotonin.

Why have you not left sickbay?

It's because I'm sad, Zero.

Since I cannot read your mind,

may I borrow a phrase
Janeway taught me.

- A penny for your thoughts?
- I don't belong here.

And after what happened
with my father,

I don't belong anywhere.

I too felt the pain of loneliness
when your father took me

- from my Medusan hive mind.
- I'm sorry.

I didn't know.
But I should have.

But just as I found
new purpose,

you may as well,
here, on our crew.

Why would you need someone
who speaks a few languages

on a ship
that can translate all of them?

Ah. But language is
more than translation.

It is interpretation.

I have struggled to interpret
the things I've seen,

why the Diviner chose this ship
over his own daughter.

- And you think I have the answers?
- No.

But perhaps
we could find out together.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[groaning]

You are growing weaker
by the day.

We... will... find it.

Many failed before.
Years wasted.

Even if The Protostar is here...

Then I will make a Progeny.

No. We cannot defy The Order.

And if my species dies with me,
what of The Order then?

An offspring is a liability.
Emotions can be exploited.

It is a chance!

We are so close.
Please, do this for me.

♪ ♪

Gwyndala,

you are my blood.

You are my spirit's song.

And when I fall,

you will rise to replace me.

There is no barrier
we cannot overcome.

♪ ♪

For we are Vau N'Akat!

♪ ♪

What about this JT Kirk guy?

I'm pretty sure we already
have a captain on board.

Computer, just give me
some of the best you got.

Acknowledged.
Populating crew.


Communications Officer Uhura.

All decks standing by, sir.

Chief Medical Officer
Beverly Crusher.


Looks like you could use
some help, Captain.

Chief of Security Odo.

- Hmm.
- And Science Officer Spock.

Request permission
to come aboard.

I like this guy.
You should take notes, Jankom.

Permission granted.

Pbbt.
This is gonna be easy.

What's the sitch here?

Outpost Two coming into
sensor range, Captain.

I have a blip
on the motion sensor, Captain.

Captain, I'm getting something
on the distress channel.

Now we're talking.
Put her through.

Imperative!
This is the Kobayashi Maru.


We have struck a gravitic mine
and have lost all power...


[radio static crackling]

[laughs]

What a bunch of whiners!

Sir, that ship is located
in Gamma Hydra Section Ten.

- The Neutral Zone.
- Okay. What's the big deal?

Look, the Neutral Zone is all
that separates the Federation

from the Klingons.
No one is allowed in.

Entry into which
by either side

would constitute an act of w*r.

I'm reading lives, Captain,

shields failing,
hull breach imminent.

- They're running out of time!
- Um...

Quick show of hands.
Does anyone know these people?

Excuse me?
What does it matter?

So nobody then.
Okay, this one's easy.

Reverse course
and warp us outta here.

You heard the Cap!
Back it up!

Not acceptable! Their very
lives hang on what we do.

- Or on what this vessel fails to do.
- All good points.

Everybody, everybody,
calm down!

I'm in command,
so I'm allowed to...

I don't care
whether it's allowed or not.

- I will not do it!
- You can order me all you want.

As of now,
I'm resigning my commission!

Ooh! Let's do that.
Yes, mutiny!

Yes!
Mutiny! Mutiny! Mutiny!

No! Sheez.
Everybody cool it!

Ugh! Fine.

- Change course for the Neutral Zone.
- That's not good enough.

We may very well start a w*r!

But you just told me
to go in there.

[alarm blares] We have two
Klingon ships closing aft of us.

They're in - - mark .

What the...
where'd they come from?

Battle stations!
All hands, battle stations!

We are surrounded. Photon
torpedoes locking on target.

Ahh!

Simulation complete.

[Dal chuckles]

- Simulation. Right.
- Oh! Jankom Pog knew the whole time.

Captain assessment score %.

Leadership %.

- Judgment . %.
- Oh, come on!


[laughs]

Jankom Pog is gonna blast
this out to the others.

So my crew never
respects me again? No!

I can do this!
Boot it back up.

♪ ♪

Why would my father
need a ship

with an engine this powerful?

And why was our advisor
so shocked by its capabilities?

Maybe we should go
to the source. Janeway?

Happy to help if I can.
Fire away.

I'd like to know what was
this ship's purpose

- before we found it?
- The Protostar's mission

was to enter the Delta Qua...
Quadrant and...

and... I...
I have no record of that.

Why was it buried
in Tars Lamora?

- That information is unavailable.
- Just as I thought.

- Her memory core is damaged.
- Actually, no.

My memory's just fine.
But it's... classified.

How peculiar.
If her memories are classified,

perhaps there is a way
to access them.

If you're gonna poke around
in my head,

I'll need some coffee first.

Uh, Zero?
I got a question.

- Hey! You're outta sickbay.
- Thought I'd make myself useful.

Zero, what would happen
if you ate photon grenades?

- Asking for a friend.
- One would explode into

a burst of gamma rays
and cease to exist.

[gasps]

Um, gotta go!

[grunting]

[laughs]

Jankom's lost count
how many times you've failed.

Just joking, it's .

I don't care what the crew
thinks anymore.

This is personal.

- Boot it back up!
- Attempt number .

The phenomenon of
your stubbornness

belongs in a medical textbook.

Ah!

[laughs]
Lemme guess, Cap.

- You're gonna get them next time? [laughs]
- Boot it back up!

- Huh?
- Attempt number .

- Fire everything!
- Captain, are you quite all right?

- Boot it!
- No!

- Attempt number .
- I'm not going to let this happen again!

Not again!

Boot it back up!

- [alarm blaring] Attempt number .
- Ghay'cha'?


[tense music]

♪ ♪

I believe he has lost the
capacity for rational decision.

Yes, he's infuriating, sir.
How can you stand it?


Again!

Again!
Again!

- Why can't I b*at this thing?
- Whoa, calm down.

- It's just a game.
- Game?

That Starfleet game is telling me

I don't have what it takes
to command a starship.

What are you saying, it's right?

That The Federation's
got something I don't?

Uh. Yeah, tons of stuff.

Uh, uh,
maybe if you listened

to your crew once in a while,
you'd do better.

Or... or maybe someone
on my crew isn't loyal enough!

- Oh!
- Computer! Arch!

Huh?
[grumbling]

Hey, come on! Who's gonna
point out your mistakes?

- Seal the entrance.
- Ah!

Give me a better engineer
while you're at it.

[huffs]

Thank you, sir!
And call me Scotty.

Murf!
I... I don't know what to do!

I'm sorry, but

please don't explode
into gamma rays!

[burping]

Ahh!

♪ ♪

Whoa.
That was crazy.

[gibbering, farts]

I bypassed
the command functions,

but there's a passcode
prescription... uh, encryption.

- Access denied.
- Guys! I think Murf's gonna be okay!


I think he might be indestructible.

Not to one-up her,
but does Jankom have a...

Shh!
Gwyn needs to concentrate.

Odd.
The Universal Translator has

- not converted this data stream.
- Because it's written

in the language of my home world,
Solum.

- Oh.
- On a Federation ship?

- How is that possible?
- It's not.

My father and I
are the last of our kind.

And we've never encountered
Starfleet before.

- Maybe I can cr*ck it.
- Remember, it is not mere translation.

But interpretation.

"There is no barrier
we cannot overcome.

For we are Vau N'Akat."

♪ ♪

Access granted.

[cheering]

Okay. I finally cracked it!

Earpiece, keep that mic hot.

Mustache and Jellyman,
know your roles.

Pointy Ears and Big Red,
with me.

On my mark.
Ready?

- It's go time.
- Imperative!

- This is the Kobayashi Maru.
- "This is the Kobayashi Maru."

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we hear you, Koby!

Why don't you enjoy
some relaxing tunes?

["Thunderstruck" by AC/DC playing]

- All channels are totally jammed, Captain.
- It's a little loud!

Which means
our stealthy Klingon pals

can't hear what's coming next.

Engage impulse
in a barrel roll loop!

Overload the warp core
%!

The plasma inter cooler's gone.
The engines are overheating!

Frankly, I fail to see
any point at all.

Gotta keep them
on their toes, Jellyman.

I've blown up so many times,

I see now,
the only way out is chaos.

Three, two, one.

Presto!

Got a present for ya,
and it comes with a message.

What's that old Klingon
saying again?

Oh, yeah.
[chuckles]

"Revenge is a dish
best served cold."

- Scotty, eject warp core!
- You've got it, Captain.

♪ ♪

Phasers, full spread!

♪ ♪

Sweeping the area of Outpost Two.

- Sensor reading indefinite.
- And the Kobayashi?

Despite your unconventional tactics,

- they're still alive.
- [laughs] Yes!

Sensors are picking up
a Klingon Battle Cruiser

- rapidly closing on the station.
- No!

Impulse and weapons
are offline.

We're dead in the water!

If only we could get off
this stupid bridge.

Transporter operational, Captain.

♪ ♪

How big is this Holodeck?

[speaks Klingon]

♪ ♪

Did I do it? Did I win?

Wait, you didn't say
you could super pinch.

My congratulations, Captain.

Dal to Enterprise,
you guys clean up here.

I'm gonna personally escort the
Kobayashi Maru back to safety.

This is your captain, signing out.

Stay safe out there.

[computer beeping]
Wait. Stop!

♪ ♪

No!

[dramatic music]

Am I correct in my assumption
that you've been disturbed

by what you consider to be
a failure on your part?

I sat in the seat,
I gave the commands,

I tried to win at any cost,
and I still lost.

And what is it that makes
one man an exceptional leader?

No disrespect intended,
but you must surely realize

you can't announce
the full truth to the crew.

You're the captain of this ship.

You can't afford the luxury

of being anything
less than perfect.

If you do, they lose faith
and you lose command.

But I'm not perfect.
I've never captained a ship.

I've never had a crew.
What do I know?

But the needs of the many
outweigh the needs of the few.

So a good captain

puts the needs of the crew
before himself.

Maybe I should be using
these ears more than my mouth.

It is the only logical conclusion.

In your own way,
you are as stubborn

as another captain
of the Enterprise I once knew.

[chuckles]

- Live long and prosper.
- Hm?

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

Computer, just curious,

how was I supposed to b*at it?

The Kobayashi Maru
is a no-win scenario

designed to test how one
reacts to a hopeless situation.

[laughs]

Almost had it.

Hey, guys.
Just wanted to say,

I thought a lot about what you
told me this morning, and...

- what did I miss?
- Data fragments.

Corrupted but readable.

The USS Protostar was a prototype,

- fastest in Starfleet...
- There's so much!

It'll take months
to get through this raw data.

But answers may lie within.

Good thing Dal made us
go back for ya, huh?

♪ ♪

Ooh. Who are they?

[gasps]

Whoa.

♪ ♪

[distorted] Mayday, mayday!

This is Captain Chakotay
of USS Protostar.


Chakotay?
He's the captain?

Captain, warning,
we're being boarded!


♪ ♪

I'm suddenly realizing...

you aren't my first crew.

[dramatic music]
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