01x11 - Looks and Books

[bunniefuu]

Hey, um...

My friend was wondering, uh...

If I gave you a joint, would you have sex with me?

-What? -[LAUGHTER]

I can't believe you did it.

-Lindsay! -Hey!

Hey, guess what? We got a gig.

Yeah, Stroker's brother's gonna let us play at his party.

Uh, he's even gonna loan us a Marshall stack and a Peavey bass cabinet.

It's, like, total pro equipment.

Yeah, we're gonna blow the roof off his garage in a most rock-tagious way.

Wow, that's really great, you guys.

Yeah, so we just need your parents' station wagon to pick up the amps.

What?

You guys can't use my parent's car.

They're insane about it.

My dad even calls it Betty.

Lindsay, please.

I mean, we need to get those amps.

Don't be lame.

I'm not being lame, Daniel.

My parents are never gonna let us borrow their station wagon.

Well, didn't you say that your mom plays bridge or something on Tuesdays?

Yeah, so?

So she won't even know it's gone.

Just grab the keys.

We'll be back before she finishes the first hand.

I don't know.

Oh! Squirrel!

Lindsay, whoa! Jeez, my neck!

Just run over the stupid squirrel, Linds.

Aw.

Lindsay, you are a terrible driver.

-Shut up, Daniel. -You are.

How far is this place, Japan?

No, we're almost there. It's on the next block.

No, Daniel, I told you.

It's not on Hancock. It's on Warren.

It's on Hancock. I was just there.

Hey, could you put on some real music?

I hate this new wave crap.

No, no, leave it on, man. That's Joe Jackson.

His bass player's unbelievable, man.

Hey, there's Valerie's house, you guys!

You guys, I'm telling you, we're going the wrong way.

No, we're not.

Lindsay, please drive like a normal person.

I am driving nice.

Yeah. Yeah. Roll down the windows

'cause I got a big one a-brewing.

Oh, no, please don't.

Ew. Ken, you better not.

-It's coming. -Ew!

Those Miller farts are unbelievable.

-Ken, you better not. -Lindsay, that's it!

That's the house over there! Right there!

-Where? -Watch out!

Oh, my god!

Oh, my god.

♪ I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation

♪ You're livin' in the past, it's a new generation

♪ A girl can do what she wants to do

♪ And that's what I'm gonna do

♪ And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation

♪ Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

♪ Not me Me, me, me, me, me, me

♪ Wah! No!

♪ No, no, no, no, no, no

♪ Not me Me, me, me, me, me, me

♪ I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation

♪ I've never been afraid of any deviation

♪ And I don't really care if you think I'm strange

♪ I ain't gonna change

♪ And I'm never gonna care 'bout my bad reputation

♪ Not me!

I can't believe I forgot my math book.

I hate being in school after it's out.

Makes me feel like a janitor.

Janitors are cool.

I'd like to be a janitor.

Why? So you can show up with the red sawdust after a kid throws up?

No, 'cause janitors make way more than teachers.

It makes up for all that gross stuff they have to do.

-Why? -Oh, you.

Because I'm a girl.

Come on, girls can call guys.

Girls do not call guys.

-Sure, they do. -No, they don't.

Come on.

What's so great about him anyway?

It's the hair.

Oh, come on.

She likes him because of his hair?

Of course.

He's got the feathered thing going.

Girls love that.

Yeah, all the men my mom dates have feathered hair.

I heard her talking to her girlfriends.

She said, "Any guy with feathered hair is foxy."

But it's just hair.

I mean, why would girls care how you comb it?

That's women.

They get turned on by weird stuff.

Oh, my god, look at my car!

What were you doing?

What were you thinking about?

-I am so, so sorry. -What is wrong with you?

Didn't you see me pulling out of the driveway?

Hey, lady, she said she was sorry.

You know, we're all a little upset here.

Don't talk to me now. Do not talk to me.

Barbara, could you call the police?

The police? Come on, lady!

Calm the hell down, all right?

Kim, knock it off!

God, this is all your fault!

What? Lindsay, how is this my fault?

"Oh, that's the house!" That's when you were-

Hey, hey, hey, guys!

Take it easy.

It's both your faults.

What? This is not my fault, Daniel.

You're the one who talked me into this.

I didn't talk you into anything.

Do you have any idea how much trouble I am gonna be in?

You are gonna pay for every last cent of this damage, young lady.

Hey, lady, there's something you might not have heard of.

It's called insurance.

Oh, please, you just stay away from me.

-Just stay away. -Ma'am-

Yeah, who wants to be near you anyways?

You're too sexy.

Oh, please. Oh, man.

[GROANS]

I could call the police. You know that?

I could call the police and report this as grand theft auto.

I can send my own daughter to jall.

You know that?

I'm so sorry, Daddy.

You know what?

I don't think I believe anything you say anymore.

Why should I?

You're grounded.

I can't even tell you for how long.

You'll be coming home from school every day and sitting in your room.

No stereo, no radio, no TV, no telephone.

Nothing.

And you are not to hang out with those burnt-out friends of yours...

Ever again.

Ever!

Do you hear me?

Don't worry. I won't.

You'd better not.

Hey, Lindsay.

I saw the smashed car in your driveway.

Just wanted to make sure everything was okay.

Are you okay, Lindsay?

Yeah.

No.

It was so terrible, Millie.

It just didn't sound like anything you've ever heard.

It was just this thud.

It was so scary.

Who was in the car with you?

Who do you think?

Sorry, Lindsay.

If you want, I can go get my Uno deck.

No, I'm fine.

Did you hear what happened at the mathlete scrimmage against North Lake?

Katie got so nervous when she went up to do her round that she got a bloody nose.

And then, she didn't know it. She had to sneeze, and she blew blood all over the place.

She looked down, and she saw it on her shirt, and she fainted.

Uh-uh.

No, she didn't.

Well, no, but...

She was gonna.

It was pretty funny.

So, how's the team doing this year?

They, uh-it's been cool.

Not as fun as last year.

I really miss you, Lindsay.

All the mathletes do.

♪ ["SLIP KID" BY THE WHO]

♪ I've got my clipboard, textbooks lead me to the station...

Oh, man.

How am I gonna get this on without messing up my hair?

[FABRIC RIPPING]

♪ Gonna run till my feet are raw

♪ Slip kid, slip kid Man!

♪ I'm a soldier at 13

♪ Slip kid, slip kid, realization

♪ There's no easy way to be free

♪ No easy way to be free Boy, I can just imagine how much those pirates are gonna charge me.

Just pretend you know a lot about cars.

But I don't.

They can smell it, the bloodsuckers.

Yeah-

What's the matter?

Lindsay, you want some bacon?

No, thanks, Mom.

I'm just gonna have some juice.

Oh, my goodness.

What?

Sam.

Hey, Dad.

Sammy, you look so handsome.

Just like one of the Hardy boys.

Thanks.

Hey, Sam, wait up.

Bye, Mom.

Bye, Dad.

Wow.

My goodness, don't the Weirs look nice today?

Thank you.

-See you. -See you, Sam.

[LAUGHS]

What, did you just come from church?

So how'd things go with your Dad?

Was he pissed?

No. Not at all.

He was really happy that I stole his car and smashed it.

Hey, if it makes you feel any better, the party got moved till tonight.

You know what, Daniel?

That doesn't make me feel any better

'cause now I'm grounded, so I can't go to any of your stupid parties ever.

Why don't you just sneak out?

Why don't you just go to Hell?

Whoa. God, Lindsay.

Oh, shut up, Kim!

I'm sick of you guys getting me in trouble all the time.

I'm sick of you guys, period.

Maybe you're just on your period.

[LAUGHS]

Yeah, Daniel, that's exactly it.

I'm on my period. You figured it out.

It was a joke.

Oh, sorry.

It's hard to pick up on the subtlety of your wit.

What's up your butt, princess?

You are, Daniel! I'm tired of you using me.

You're the most selfish people I've ever met in my life.

Look, I know you don't care about being smart or going to school or anything else, but just because your lives are such lost causes, don't keep assuming that mine is.

What was that all about?

I don't know, but it was pretty funny.

Shut up.

You know, who asked her to hang out with us anyways?

Like we need her little judgments all the time.

My life ain't a lost cause, you know?

Hers is.

She's just a big baby.

I told you guys that from day one.

It's like hanging out with my grandma.

Yeah. Well, little miss perfect doesn't know what I'm gonna do with my life.

She doesn't know what my plans are.

What the hell are your plans?

I got a lot of plans.

Like?

Who are you, my guidance counselor?

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna wait for my dad to die so I inherit his company.

Then I'm gonna sell it and move to Hawaii.

Great plan.

I don't hear anything better coming out of you.

Well...

I'm gonna be, like, a lawyer or something.

I'm gonna put the police on trial.

I'm gonna get guys out of jall and stuff, you know?

Yeah, maybe you can break Daniel out of there.

Screw you, man. I'm not going to jall.

Okay. What will you be doing?

Plenty.

Now if you're done grilling me, Mr. Rosso, why don't you give me a dollar so I can get some Sno Balls?

Okay.

You guys, I'm telling you, this... it's not about the accident.

Lindsay's really depressed that I broke up with her.

She's got to get over it though, you know?

Yeah, Nick. Sure.

So, I guess you're gonna be, like, a psychiatrist or something.

No. I'm gonna be a DJ, man.

And maybe, um, a lumberjack.

The name of the company is Texas Instruments, but I heard it's made in Taiwan.

Hey.

Is it okay if I sit here?

Yeah, sit down, Lindsay.

-Hi, Carey. -Hi.

-Hi, Erin. -Hi.

Look, Lindsay. Erin got a new calculator.

It graphs and everything.

I got it for my birthday.

That's cool.

-Can I see it? -Yeah.

Do you have a calculator, Lindsay?

No. My dad won't buy me one.

He says Einstein did fine without one and so should I.

You don't need one, Lindsay.

Yeah, remember that judge at the intra-districts last year?

He called you the human calculator.

Oh, yeah.

I think he had a crush on you.

What?

Ew, he was, like, 40 years old.

That's so gross.

Hey, Lindsay, I'm having a slumber party Friday night.

All the mathletes are gonna be there.

You wanna go?

Well...

Yeah, I would, but I'm grounded.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you should ask your dad.

It's just across the street.

It's gonna be a lot of fun.

Yeah? Maybe.

Well, it's an interesting look, Sam.

Nah, your hair's not long enough to be feathered.

I think it looks weird, like you're trying to be all fancy or something.

I don't think you should worry with how you look, Sam.

My mom always says that you should be happy with what the good lord gave you.

Well, the good lord gave you a lot, Gordon.

Bill!

My whole family's big-boned. It's genetic.

Besides, the world loves jolly fat guys.

Burl Ives, Jackie Gleason...

Santa Claus, uh, Curly, Raymond Burr.

No, Raymond Burr's not jolly.

Well, he was extremely nice to me at last year's auto show.

Hey.

Do any of you guys have a pencil I could borrow?

Oh, hey, Cindy. How's it going?

It's okay. Today in chemistry, I sat on a piece of chocolate and had to go home and change my pants.

Oh, yeah.

Sam, did you wear a hat today?

Because your hair looks kind of flat.

Got one.

Thanks.

I'll bring it right back.

You better.

Oh, man.

You can't just comb your hair different and expect Cindy to start liking you.

You have to dress different, too.

I dress okay.

Sam, you look like your mother dresses you.

[SCOFFS]

Hey, well, at least I don't dress like a ventriloquist's dummy.

Don't k*ll the messenger.

I know I look good.

I dress well, and I groom myself properly.

Look around.

The whole school dresses better than you do.

Change your clothes, change your life.

Pirates.

We live right outside Detroit, and they can't find a fender?

Now I get two weeks of driving around town looking like some kind of hillbilly.

Hey, Dad, can I borrow some money?

Hm?

Uh, I wanna buy some new clothes tomorrow.

Oh, Sammy, I'll take you to the mall.

We'll use my credit cards.

And then we can go to Magic Pan and get crepes-

Oh, no. Mom!

You always get me something stupid, like Garanimals or something like that.

I wanna buy my own clothes.

Good idea, Sam.

A man has to learn to dress himself.

You know, got to cut those apron strings sometime.

Dad?

I was thinking of going back to the mathletes...

And I'll have to stay after school for practice.

Is that okay?

Dad?

Well, yeah. I suppose it would be okay.

But if this is some kind of ploy, then heaven help you.

It's not a ploy, and thanks.

Okay.

-Okay, what's the gag? -There is no gag.

I thought you wanted me back on the team.

I'd love to have you back on the team if you're serious.

I'm serious.

That's great.

There's just one problem, Lindsay.

I'm gonna have to put you in the reserves.

Really?

Aren't there any open blocks?

No. It's a big team this year.

Look, why don't you start coming to practices until you get caught up, and maybe in a couple of weeks, we'll see what we can do.

All right?

-Yeah, okay. -All right.

[BELL RINGS]

I got to go to class.

No, come on. Let's get out of here.

Dez gave me the keys to his place.

We'll go earn some extra biology credit.

What's your problem?

I told you. I have to go to class.

Oh. Okay, Lindsay.

You know what? Shut up, man!

I thought you were the guy that had all these big plans.

Yeah, I went to all my classes yesterday.

I could barely stay awake.

Then drink a cup of coffee and get it together, Daniel.

I'm out of here.

So Carl Sagan says, "That's not a cosine.

You don't know your asymptote from a hole in the ground."

[LAUGHTER]

-Oh, hi, Lindsay. -Hey, Shelly.

I hear that you have to be on the reserves.

That's too bad.

You know, Shelly, if you give up first block, then Lindsay could have her spot back on the team.

-Millie. -Just kidding.

Don't kid about first block.

[NERVOUS LAUGH] Sorry.

You know, M.I.T. looks way more carefully at your application if you've been a first block.

I just can't believe that you would give up being first block just to hang out with freaks.

God, Shelly!

It's true! I'm not putting her down.

I mean, they're the ones who made her get into that car accident.

I bet you they were all high.

Nobody was high.

Oh. Was that Kim girl with you?

She's pregnant, you know.

My neighbor works at the free clinic, and he said that he saw her over there the other day.

Just because a girl chooses to live her life differently than you do doesn't mean she's automatically barefoot and pregnant.

I didn't say she was barefoot.

I mean, don't get all mad.

Anyway, you know her better than I do.

Mr. Kowchevski, I want you to make me first block.

Nice to see you, too!

Look, at least put me back on the team.

I am the best person at math in this school.

Well, actually, I think that I'm the best person at math in this school.

Okay.

But come on, let's cut the crap, Kowchevski.

[SIGHS]

Okay. You're right, Lindsay, the team needs you desperately.

I mean, if it wasn't for Shelly, we'd be in the toilet.

I cannot bounce anyone from this team.

They've been coming every day, Lindsay.

It wouldn't be fair.

This is the mathletes, not the football team.

What is the difference? It's still a team.

So if you're gonna have a team, you might as well have a winning one.

Otherwise, what the hell is the point of competing?

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

Looks like a disco.

Hey, guy, you can't eat in here.

I'm not done. I can't throw it away.

Well, I can't have you getting mustard all over our garments.

Yeah, maybe you should wait outside.

No, no, no.

There. All gone.

Excellent. Well, uh, what can I help you gents out with today?

Yeah, uh, I wanna buy some new clothes.

Something that'll make me look like the best-dressed kid in school.

Well, I've got a question for you.

You wanna be a stud, or do you wanna be a super stud?

Super stud, Sam. Go for super stud.

All right, then. Walk this way.

All right, guys. Check it out!

It's the latest thing in.

It's the hottest thing going in Europe right now.

-What is it? -This is a Parisian nightsuit, and I predict every trendsetting guy in this city's gonna own one.

Wow.

-Really? -Really is right.

Buy this garment, and I guarantee you'll be perceived as a man of distinction by the ladies.

I don't know.

Hey, guys, look at me.

You know, I'm not a handsome man, but I learned how to style my hair, started wearing some of these clothes.

It's been pretty cool.

All right, g*ng, I've had to make some tough decisions about who's gonna be competing tomorrow, and some of you are not gonna like that.

Lindsay, you're on the team.

She rejoins and gets into competition in one day?

That's not fair!

No, Shelly, it's not fair, but if we lose against Lincoln tomorrow, we're gonna blow our home advantage for the rest of the year.

This is just a little insurance.

Well, then, who's gonna get bumped?

Well, that's strictly a decision based on the last few practices.

Millie, would you mind sitting out tomorrow?

Oh.

No, Mr. Kowchevski.

That's fine. I don't mind.

No, Mr. Kowchevski, I-I don't think Millie should...

No, Lindsay, that's cool. The team really needs you.

No, we don't!

This is completely unfair to you, Millie.

-I said it's OK, Shelly. -Doesn't matter. She's not...

This is unfair to all of us!

You know, mind your own business!

This is my business!

-No, it's not. -Shelly, I'm not trying-

Ladies, ladies!

This is just for tomorrow's scrimmage.

This isn't the last chopper out of Saigon, so can we please just crank down the drama a notch, okay?

♪ ["FLAMETHROWER" BY J. GEILS BAND]

Ow! Ow!

Hey, Cindy, what's happening?

Hey! Hey, Cindy!

Hey, Cindy, what's up?

Hey, ouch! Ow! Ow!

Oh? Oh!

♪ Well, she's a flame

♪ fla-a-a-ame

♪ flamethrower

♪ She's a...

Let's you and me get outta here.

♪ She's a flame

♪ fla-a-a-ame

♪ a red-hot blower

♪ She's a

♪ flamethrower tonight Ow!

Jeez, Millie, don't you ever clean your room?

I just did.

I'm really glad Mr. Kowchevski kicked me off the team so you can be on it.

He didn't kick you off the team, Millie.

He just put you on the reserves.

Yeah, I know. Don't worry.

How much does Shelly know about trig?

-Is she good at it? -I think so.

We don't have too many trig questions.

Yeah, but when you do, does she get 'em right?

I don't know. I forget.

Millie! Come on, think!

If I'm gonna blow Shelly out of the water, I gotta know this stuff.

Think Mr. Kowchevski'll move you to first block?

He'd better. If I'm gonna be on the mathletes, I'm gonna be number one, or else I'm not gonna do it.

-Hey, Mom. -Hey, honey.

I think I'm gonna eat in my room so I can cram for the scrimmage.

Oh, Lindsay, you've been studying nonstop.

Why don't you take a little break?

Mom, I can't. Not if I wanna win.

Lindsay, there is more to life than competition.

Not if you want to wipe out Shelly Weaver.

-Ah. is she from Lincoln? -No, she's on our team.

Oh.

-Hey, Lindsay? -What?

Are you having fun?

Yeah, of course I am.

♪ ["LOOK SHARP" BY JOE JACKSON]

Hi.

Hey.

♪ Okay, what you say Hey!

♪ Tell me what they're wearing

-Hello! -♪ this year

♪ Go on and laugh at me 'cause you don't see

♪ that I got something going right here

[LAUGHTER]

♪ You gotta look sharp

♪ You gotta look sharp

♪ And you gotta have no illusions

-What the hell is this? -Oh, man.

Whoa! Hey, Henson, look!

-It's the new disco Ken doll! -[LAUGHS]

Hey, pull the string and make him talk!

I'm telling you, you can light them.

It's methane.

Yeah, but what if the flame goes back inside you?

Do you-do you explode?

Hey!

Oh, my god.

I guess Elvis hasn't left the building.

Hey, don't make fun of him. That's a Parisian nightsuit, in case you didn't know, Hey, you guys-

A Parisian? Ooh la la!

No, no. It's a iumpsuit.

My grandpa in Fort Lauderdale wears them all the time because he's too lazy to put on pants.

Listen, I gotta get out of here!

Head for the front door.

Hey, hey, what the...?

Why did you buy that?

Hey, you were the one that said I should dress better.

Yeah, I didn't say you should dress like Evel Knievel.

Hey, guys, I think we're directing more attention toward us by doing this.

This is cool.

I feel like I'm in the secret service.

Get me to the front door.

[BELL RINGS]

Test.

-Hey, what are you doing? -W-we gotta go.

We got a pop quiz in Whitman's class, remember?

Oh, man! Okay, uh...

Okay, tell Whitman that I missed the bus.

Okay.

'Souse me. Where you going?

Yeah, uh, I was just gonna go outside to get something.

Yeah? Well, unless you're going out to drive a bus, you'd better turn around and get your butt to class.

Sorry.

Nice duds, junior.

Okay, now, who wants to take a cr*ck at identifying all the prepositional phrases in these sentences?

No takers, huh?

Okay... Sam.

Do you want to come up here and give it a sh*t?

Come on, Sam. Make me proud.

My, don't you look nice!

[COUGHING] h*m*.

[COUGHING] h*m*.

[SCATTERED INSULTING COUGHS]

Hey, hey, hey!

Now-now if Sam wearing something different to express his individuality makes him a "h*m*," well, then, I guess we should all be proud to be "h*m*."

Now you go ahead, Sam.

You're not gonna b*at me up, are you?

No.

What are you reading?

The, uh, "The Monster Manual."

It's a "Dungeons and Dragons" handbook.

Do you play?

-No. -You should.

You'd make a good dungeon master.

I can tell.

-Yeah? -Oh, yeah.

Thanks. Can I ask you something?

Sure.

What do you make of me?

Excuse me?

[SIGHS] Well, if someone asked you...

"What do you think of Daniel Desario?"

What would you say?

Would you say he's a loser?

Um, no. No, you're not a loser, 'cause you have sex.

But, if you weren't having sex, then we could definitely debate the issue.

Right.

You get good grades, huh?

Yeah, don't you?

No. I get terrible grades.

I don't even like thinking about school

'cause I think about how bad I'm really doing.

I was even left back once.

Ouch. Well...

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Someone sent my dad a card with that on it for his 65th birthday.

Your dad's 65?

70 now.

When I'm 45, he'll be 100.

[LAUGHS]

You know, you're a pretty interesting guy, Harris.

Yeah, I mean, you do your own thing.

You're comfortable with yourself.

You got it pretty wired, huh?

Yeah, I guess I do.

I don't have sex, though.

[LAUGHTER]

Okay, people, listen up. Let's not get cocky just 'cause we have the home-field advantage.

Now you all know your stuff, so just stay clearheaded, and we blaze through this.

Now let's go kick some Lincoln butt!

-ALL: Yeah! -Come on! Let's go.

Good luck, everybody. Good luck, Shelly.

Thanks. Same to you.

Good luck, Lindsay.

Even though I know you don't need it.

[WHISPERED] Go, first block.

Nick?

Oh, what are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

I was just, um, k*lling some time.

All right, I gotta get going.

Mrs. Amendella?

Hi, it's Sam from next door.

Yeah, my mom's not home. Do you know where she is?

Oh, okay.

All right, well, I'm at McKinley.

You think you could pick me up?

Excuse me, aren't you Deney Terrio from "Dance Fever"?

No, I told you, it's Chrissy from "Three's Company."

[LAUGHTER]

-What do you want, Alan? -I just wanna know something.

-Exactly how q*eer are you? -Shut up.

No, really, really, I'm serious.

You know, just when I think he's as q*eer as he can be, you go and do something even queerer.

Let me alone, Alan! I'm sick of you!

Oh, my god. It's go time!

Hey! Alan, how many times a day do I have to tell you to be cool?

I'm just trying to talk to Sam.

Yeah, yeah, it looked like you guys were having a regular meeting of the minds.

What's this all about, Sam?

Mr. Rosso...

I need a ride home.

If the hour hand of a clock moves K radians in 48 minutes, then K equals...

They're a tough team.

You nervous?

I don't get nervous.

Wow. That's great.

I wish I was that confident.

It comes with being first block.

Yeah, I remember.

0.4.

Correct.

[APPLAUSE]

Well, guess I'm up. Wish me luck.

[APPLAUSE]

Whoo!

Woo-hoo!

Question one:

If the longer diagonal of a rhombus is 10, and the large angle is 100 degrees, what is the area of the rhombus?

-42. -Correct.

Whoo! Woo-hoo!

You okay, Sam?

I thought you were gonna change.

Do I have to go back to school?

I mean, I'm sick of everybody laughing at me.

So? Let 'em laugh.

Who cares?

Sam, when I was about 20, I was hanging out in this h*nky-tonk down south when a big bunch of rednecks surrounded me.

They started making jokes about my fringe vest, my hair.

Calling me a hippie, a woman.

They dragged me into an alley, made me dance, told me to bark like a dog.

Did you do it?

Yeah.

Pretty much had to, there was ten of them.

What happened?

It doesn't matter.

What matters is that I never lost pride in who I am.

Mr. Rosso, I dressed up just to impress Cindy Sanders.

Sam, some of my friends are the dirtiest, stinkiest guys you'll ever meet, but they date more women than you or I could ever hope for.

It's all about confidence.

It's true.

If I say I'm the coolest guy in the world and I believe I'm the coolest guy in the world, then suddenly I become the coolest guy in the world.

I'm telling you, it sounds weird, but it works.

But I'm not cool.

You're not?

No.

Hm.

Well, then take a look at this kid.

Because that's a cool kid.

One horizontal and one vertical asymptote.

Correct. Well done, McKinley.

Woo-hoo! Go, Lindsay.

If arc sine x equals 2 arc cosine x, then x equals...

Damn, I've never felt so stupid in my whole life.

-0.9. -Correct.

Perfect round to McKinley.

You were great, Lindsay. You were so great.

You're a born mathlete.

Okay, Shelly, come on.

Let's give 'em that old McKinley one-two punch.

Good luck, Shelly.

A sphere is inscribed in a cube.

The ratio of the volume of the sphere to the volume of the cube is...

Come on, Shelly.

We just went over this last week.

-0.52:1. -Correct.

Did you guys see Shelly when she missed that square root problem?

She started sweating like a pig.

[LAUGHTER]

Hey, Millie, now maybe Kowchevski will kick her off the team, and you can get your block back.

I guess. I hope so.

I mean, I kind of felt bad for Shelly, though.

Forget her. She had it coming.

Oh, hey, you guys, come here.

You've got to see M.I.T.'s dorms.

Wait a minute. If I think I'm cool, then people will think I'm cool, too.

Yeah, that's what Mr. Rosso said.

Yeah, and he's cool.

Yeah, but I already think I'm cool.

But nobody else does.

Maybe that's because you're not.

Hey, shut up. I am so.

So am I. I'm really cool.

You know what, Sam?

You actually do seem cooler all of a sudden.

I think it's working.

Mr. Rosso's some kind of genius.

Lindsay.

Where are you going?

Millie, I gotta go home.

What's the matter?

Are you gonna go use your own bathroom?

No, it's...

I just can't do this.

Really?

Yeah. I mean, it's been great hanging out with you, but it's just not where I'm at anymore.

Things are different now.

What do you want to do?

I don't know.

But I don't think I want to be a mathlete.

That's okay. I understand.

But can we still play Uno sometimes?

I mean, when you've got nothing else to do?

Yeah, we can always do that.

Millie, we'll always be friends.

I'll see you around tomorrow, okay?

♪ ["TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME" BY SUPERTRAMP]

Hey, do you guys want to maybe go see a midnight movie?

I think there's a foreign film playing at the State theater.

A foreign film? Is that the kind you have to read?

-[LAUGHS] -What's the point?

The point is trying not to be a dumb-ass for once in your life, that's what.

That's the point, apparently.

-I'll go. -Thank you, babe.

It just better not be about a guy who talks a lot.

[LAUGHTER]

Hey.

Hey.

What's up?

Nothing. What are you guys up to?

Nothing.

Actually, we were just about to go see a foreign film.

Cool.

You know, just because.

Can I come with you guys?

Sure.

Can we borrow your dad's car?

-Aww. -Shut up, man.

Come on, Linds, you can ride with Kim and me.

Come on. Let's go.

Hey, Lindsay?

I just wanted to tell you I'm really glad that you're feeling better about our break-up.

I think you're handling it really well.

Uh, thanks, Nick.

I think I'll be okay.

Hey, I didn't get all gussied up to sit here alone, man.

I'm coming. Let's go.

Follow me, 'cause you're going down, Desario!

-Come on, get in! -No, turn it off.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING, LAUGHING]

♪ Long way home

♪ Long way home

♪ Long way home

♪ Long way home