There are over seven million people
in New York, not including house guests.
Visitors are a vital par
ofthe city's economy.
Most single people in Manhattan
do not buy furniture
until facing the arrival
of an out-of-towner.
- Great couch. Where'd it come from?
- l have no idea.
Everything in Miranda's new aparment
was hand-picked and arranged
by Charlotte's friend Madeline Dunn,
an upcoming interior designer.
- l've been looking for one ofthose.
- That's very stylish for a pull-out.
l'll have that end table for you
tomorrow.
Thank you.
- This is a sofa bed?
- lt's what stared this whole thing.
l needed a sofa bed for Jeremy.
lf he sleeps on it while staying
in my fabulous aparment,
l may have to throw myself
out a window treatment.
Jeremy was an old friend of Miranda's
who'd lived in London for several years.
He was coming to New York
to scope out the job situation.
Miranda suggested he be her house guest
because his emails had stared
to border on firatious.
Meanwhile, l had become
a frequent house guest of Big's.
Do you have a spare toothbrush
l could use?
- A sparetoothbrush?
- l'll bring you a new one.
Excuse me.
There's only one pink brush head
and Big was giving his to me.
lt was the most encouraging moment
so far in our relationship.
When Jeremy arrived, he was even more
adorable than Miranda remembered.
- l love your fat.
- Thanks. How the hell are you?
Especially when he said...
l'm tired of dating.
l'm ready to get married.
- Miranda, are you here?
- Coming!
- That must be my end table.
- My end table's afraid to go out alone.
l hope you like the finish.
lt's a hair darker than l was thinking.
- Sorry to interrupt.
- That's beautiful. ls it Biedermeier?
lnspired by Biedermeier. Good eye!
l'm addicted to ''Architectural Digest''.
Jeremy Fields.
- l'm sorry. This is...
- Madeline. Madeline Dunn.
Pleasure.
Thanks for bringing that by.
We were just about to go out for dinner.
Did you want to join us?
Last week l was doing an interview
at a restaurant...
Miranda was in the situation
every woman dreams of:
she was on a truly great first date.
''Just be careful not to eat any buckshot!''
Unforunately, it was somebody else's.
l should get Jeremy home.
You must be jet-lagged.
Actually, l feel great.
l slept on the plane for once.
- Well, l'm pretty b*at.
- Did you want to go?
No, not if you're...
Go ahead.
l can find my way back.
Right, we don't have to...
Except l forgot to make a copy
ofthe key.
Jeremy could use my key.
Of course.
l gave you a key.
Well, then. Goodnight.
A week later, Miranda threw Jeremy
a going-away party.
l'd like to make a toast
to my good friend Miranda,
who not only put me up, she threw
this soiree in celebration of my deparure.
OK, Miranda. l get the hint.
l'd especially like to thank her
for introducing me to Madeline,
an incredible woman who must be drunk
because she just agreed to marry me!
The only thing going away
was Miranda's dream.
Congratulations!
lce. We should get more ice.
They say when you get a place
of your own, someone will propose.
l thought it would be to me.
The woman owes you
a morgage payment.
- How is this possible? They just met.
- lt's love at first sight.
This isn't love. lt's two people justifying
a week of non-stop f*cking.
On my furniture.
l have to redecorate.
lt's encouraging. lt means that even
if you're not dating anybody,
you could be engaged
in a couple ofweeks.
Or date someone for a year
and get an electric toothbrush head.
Why are women obsessed
about getting married?
Married people just want to be single.
lf you're single,
the world is your smörgasbord.
ls this where Jeremy Fields'
engagement party is?
The red awning.
And it's a going-away party.
- l can take you there if you like.
- Were you going?
l was leaving as there were
no handsome men there,
but maybe the tide is turning.
My aparment is going
to be lucky for everybody but me.
What aparment isn't lucky for Samantha?
This is all your fault.
You introduced me to Madeline.
l could have hired a gay decorator
and this wouldn't have happened.
Then they might never have met.
And Jeremy would have fallen
in love with me.
Why not me? What am l doing wrong?
Am l invisible?
- Can l help you?
- l live here!
That night, l needed a little reality check.
l was just at this party
and two people who met a week ago
announced their engagement.
- And?
- lsn't that a bit shocking?
This is New York, nothing's shocking.
We've embraced public urination.
But these people think they're soul mates.
- Did they actually use the term soul mates?
- Several times.
l give them three months.
What are you wearing?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- l believe in lust at first sight.
- l'm serious.
- So am l.
Come on, l need a visual.
l don't know. A top, strapless.
Denim.
- Were you asleep when l called?
- Yes.
- Sorry.
- That's OK.
But next time, be at the door...naked.
l stared to wonder.
ln a city as cynical as New York,
is it still possible to believe
in love at first sight?
l'd given up on the idea,
but now l know
that if you don't believe in love at first sight,
you haven't experienced it.
Love at first sight is for Carmen Electra.
lt's too faky for New York.
Here, women want a blood test and an
ATM receipt before giving you their number.
How can you believe in love at first sight
in a city where people jerk off on you
in the subway?
A bride four weeks from her wedding
has no time to meet for coffee,
so l joined Madeline for an hour
in the presence of absolute cerainty.
Flowers, fowers everywhere!
l'd like each bridesmaid to carry a different
fower. Tulips, irises, lilies...
Charlotte should have the tulips!
You know she's one of my bridesmaids?
We asked Miranda to do the guest books
as she introduced us.
You know, Carrie.
l'm such a fan of your column.
Would you write something
to read at our wedding?
- What does she want you to write?
- A poem about love.
- l hope you said no.
- How can you say no?
lf l knew that l wouldn't be
in charge ofthe guest book.
Why did l agree to this?
l write about sex, not love.
l might have to get married now.
That guy l picked up at Miranda's...
lf you're engaged,
l am selling the aparment.
Hardly.
That night, we went back to my place.
Tug my hair, tug my hair!
lt all seemed so familiar.
She was having a déjafuck.
- What's wrong?
- l've slept with you before.
- Yeah, like years ago.
- Why didn't you say something?
l thought you were playing
the sexy stranger game.
- lt was kind of a reunion.
- You forgot someone you slept with?
We're not in single digits any more.
You didn't share a cab with this guy.
You slept with him.
- Maybe we did it in a cab.
- l'd like to forget some men l've slept with.
- l keep a list.
- How sweet: ''Men to do today''!
l'm offiicially out of men to f*ck.
l have to get married or move.
- Lovely! Can l use that in my poem?
- lt's yours.
- Wait till you see my bridesmaid's dress.
- ls it hideous?
No, we got to pick our own.
lt's this amazing, backless, black satin.
- Pretty sexy for a bridesmaid.
- Madeline just said it had to be black.
Honey, calm down.
l've been tasteful and appropriate
at seven weddings.
lt's always: ''Don't look at me,
look at the bride.''
This time people
are going to look at me!
This whirlwind wedding was creating
a great deal of stress
for everyone but the bride and groom.
The next night, l made the mistake
oftelling Big about the poem.
Love, glove, dove.
Dove is good.
Love is like a dove.
Or a big fuzzy glove.
l might have stolen that
from a greeting card.
- Thanks.
- What? This is fun.
lt's not supposed to be fun.
lt's someone's wedding.
- A wedding is serious to some people.
- Then ''shove'' probably won't work.
- When is this wedding?
- lt doesn't matter. You're not going.
Yes, l am.
l wouldn't miss you reciting
''love, glove, dove'' for anything.
Things with Big were good.
He was going with me to a wedding.
Can l just say...wow!
l need a few minutes.
The card's here for you to sign.
l don't need to sign it.
Your name's on the invitation, too.
Really?
lt was my first time to get something
other than ''Carrie Bradshaw and guest''.
How'd they get my name?
l guess Madeline must have asked
Charlotte or something.
lf you don't want to sign the card,
it's not a big deal.
Would you like to sign the guest book?
Would you like to sign the guest book?
Would you like to sign the guest book?
At least we get to see who's arriving alone.
Samantha could be counted on
to take life's lemons
and make them into Spanish Fly.
- Where do they want the gifts?
- Excuse me, l'm not the gift person.
Christ! My rerun's here!
Of course.
You met him at the engagement party.
l have to star writing things down.
l also have to star drinking heavily.
Where's Big?
- lnside, looking bored.
- That's my look.
Should l be bothered that he wouldn't
sign the card?
l'm glad l didn't ask him
to sign the guest book.
That would have put him over the edge.
Charlotte wasn't kidding about the dress.
lt was hard not to notice her.
- Look at you!
- Oh, my God!
l am so late!
- Are you with the bride or the groom?
- Actually, l'm a bridesmaid.
Are you Charlotte? l'm Marin Healey.
l'll be walking you down the aisle.
All her life, Charlotte had imagined
doing exactly that
with someone exactly like Marin.
l'll show you
where you're supposed to be.
Are you seeing this?
He never even looked at me!
While Miranda felt invisible,
l felt far too visible.
l'm in the programme?
l barely know the bride and groom.
- They barely know each other.
- l'm between the vows and the fish.
Am l in there?
No, of course not.
- l'd better find Big.
- l'm coming with you.
Can you leave the guest book
unattended?
People know what to do
with the guest book.
The ceremony was shor and sweet,
just like the engagement.
...our newly-weds: Mr Jeremy Fields
and Mrs Madeline Dunn Fields.
lt's amazing.
Six months to find me an end table
and she plans a wedding in four weeks.
Five bucks says your end table
lasts longer than her marriage.
People have said a lot of nice
things about Jeremy.
l am here to make a rebuttal.
- l have known Jeremy a long time.
- Which is more than the bride can say.
l only hope that some day l can have
what you two have:
, little napkins with my name
on them.
And, of course, someone to love.
Cheers!
And now, we have a very special treat.
One of my favourite writers,
Carrie Bradshaw,
has agreed to share a poem
that she wrote for the occasion.
sh*t.
As l made my way to the microphone,
l could only think one thing:
dead woman walking.
His hello was the end of her endings
Her laugh was their first step
down the aisle
His hand would be hers to hold forever
His forever was as simple as her smile
And suddenly it hit me: two people
were committing to a life together
and l couldn't even get a guy
to be on a card with me.
He said she was what was missing
She said instantly she knew
She was a question to be answered
And his answer was l do
l had no choice
but to embrace the moment
and pass off my tears as tears ofjoy
for the happy couple.
Can l have the salad dressing?
- l want three or four kids, too.
- How about dog versus cat?
l think that this should be our song.
Then we should dance to it.
Are they in the Evelyn Wood plan, too?
Sorry, l had to take a call.
Did l miss anything?
You missed my poem
and most ofthe reception,
but a slow dance makes you
forgive and forget.
l hate to dance
while people are eating.
Well, l'll be at the bar
where people are drinking.
Say hello to my date.
- l think l know you from somewhere.
- lt's very possible we've f*cked.
- l think l know you from college.
- Then we probably f*cked in college.
- Another cosmopolitan, please.
- And a Scotch, straight up.
lt's the famous poet, Carrie Bradshaw.
Can we not talk about the poem, please?
lt was perfect. Except the crying.
What was that about?
Big took a call during my poem.
lt's not imporant to him.
Nothing is imporant to him.
The guest book person
also puts the gifts in the van.
Will you help, or should l wait for someone
else not to see me so l can end it?
l'll help you.
What street do you want to stand in?
lfthey get married in less than a month,
l'm not going.
- Careful. That one's from me.
- What are you giving them?
The dancing frogs.
Even on the verge of breaking
the speed record for relationships,
Charlotte took her duties as bridesmaid
very seriously.
- lsn't it beautiful?
- How do we do this exactly?
We throw string around
and write something funny on the mirror.
Some people throw condoms on the bed,
but l prefer rose petals.
l would love to wake up in rose petals.
lt was all so romantic.
The bed, the rose petals...
...the bed.
Technically, it wasn't a third date,
but they'd had dinner and been dancing.
Charlotte worried she'd made a mistake
by sleeping with a man
she thought she could marry.
- Then something wonderful happened.
- l want to introduce you to my parents.
Charlotte was back on schedule.
Did you see us?
We've been dancing up a storm.
- Would you like a free lesson?
- My dad is quite the dancer.
That would be great.
ls she the one?
You're a beautiful dancer.
- May l cut in?
- lf you must.
lsn't he something? He's very smar.
He's pretty much my role model.
He used to take me to his offiice...
Your father just felt me up.
We were dancing and he put his hand...
My parents have been married
for years.
My dad would not cop a feel just because
some girl is wearing a slutty dress.
lt was clear to Charlotte that Marin
wasn't going to take her side now or ever.
Did the last four and a half hours
mean nothing to you?
Darn! We missed the chicken dance.
Excuse me, have you seen my date?
l'm sorry. l had to help Miranda
put the gifts into the van.
- So, are you ready to go?
- Have they cut the cake yet?
l don't know, but l can tell you
how it turns out.
lf you want to go, go.
- What's wrong?
- You wouldn't even sign the card.
The card?
l'm afraid we don't want the same things.
Things like cake?
l want someone who's going to be
with me until the end...
...of a wedding.
- l'll stay.
- You will?
Single ladies, it's time for the tossing
ofthe bouquet.
- lsn't the bouquet tossed at the end?
- Congratulations. You lucked out.
l'm going to say goodbye to my friends.
Big moment.
Big and l are leaving.
He's crossed his pain threshold.
Everybody ready?
One, two, three!
- OK, girls. See you tomorrow.
- Night, night.
Let's get our coats.
Some people know
they're meant to be together.
l knew l was meant to go home
and have cake in bed with Big.
Maybe we're more the fuzzy glove types.