New York City restaurants are
always looking for the next new angle...
...to grab that elusive
and somewhat jaded Manhattan palate.
Last year, it was "Fusion-Cajun. "
Last month,
it was "Mussels from Brussels. "
And tonight, it's "S & M. "
Samantha's PR firm was hired to do
the opening party for La Douleur Exquise.
Translation: The Exquisite Pain.
Of course, we were all invited.
This is what happens
when the Mayor shuts down the sex shops.
Pops up in your cuisine.
Stanford!
I know where I'm taking Mother for dinner
the next time she's in town.
-Honey!
-Excuse me.
Let her through!
-What are you wearing?
-The invitation said "kinky."
I kinked my hair.
The Iadies are inside. Go have fun.
Next!
Excuse me,
but when did wild sex come back in style?
I think it was the weekend
you spent at the Barneys warehouse sale.
Three Cosmopolitans, a Diet Coke,
and a vodka Martini with a twist.
I said olive.
Bad waiter, bad waiter.
-What do you tip for that?
-Anyone else want a whack?
How does he wait on tables
dressed Iike that? It's humiliating.
The summer I worked at Howard Johnsons,
I wore an orange hat.
Don't be so judgmental.
This is just a sexual expression.
AII these people have jobs
and pay their bills.
They're just having fun with fetishes.
I wonder what your fetish is?
Charlotte has a thing
for Crabtree and Evelyn potpourri.
-I don't have a fetish!
-We all have a fetish.
The difference between us and them is:
They're putting it out there
where everyone can see.
I think it's healthy and fabulous.
It was Iovely to see you all.
And remember Iadies:
Whipping on the first date
is considered forward.
Sit your ass down, Mistress Carrie.
There are drinks present.
No can do. Big's flying to Paris tomorrow
for business and I wanna say goodbye.
Why not give him a goodbye
he'II never forget?
Sacrebleu!
Go get him, girl.
Laugh, it's a joke.
Wait, wait. Not so fast.
Let me see.
Baby.
Baby?
I wasn't sure if it was the cap,
the crop, or me, but it worked.
Meanwhile, at a fetish across town,
Stanford Blanche had a secret sex life.
A very active secret sex life
on the Internet as "Rick Plus. "
It all started innocently enough
as a goof on a lonely Friday night.
But pretty soon he was logging in
hours and hours on his favorite website.
It was a comfort to know
that others shared his underwear fetish.
Sometimes as many as , hits a day.
No sooner had Rick Plus
entered the chat room...
...that he got a message from his favorite
on-screen pal, "Bigtool U. "
Some fetishes can only flourish
behind closed doors...
...in the very late night hours on a laptop.
While others are out in the broad
daylight where everyone can see them.
Charlotte, like every other normal woman
in Manhattan, had a thing for shoes.
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
-Beautiful shoes.
-Just got those in.
-Would you Iike to try them on?
-No.
I'm just Iooking.
I have way too many shoes as it is.
Size seven?
Size seven.
You are bad.
I'm just trying them on.
I can't even afford them. I'm saving
for a summershare in the Hamptons.
Beautiful.
Look at that craftsmanship.
I Iove them.
-How much?
-$ .
No. I can't.
PIease take it off before I start to cry.
$ .
-Why?
-Shoes were meant to be Ioved.
You're gonna need a beautiful sandal
Iike that in the Hamptons.
Thank you so much.
-Buster.
-Thank you, Buster.
While one woman was uptown
eyeing her artful new sandal...
...another was downtown eyeing
Art of Scandal:
The Life and Times
of Isabella Stewart Gardner.
Miranda was obsessed with reading
historical biographies. In fact...
...she spent all last weekend in bed
with Philip of Spain.
'Morning.
That's very good. Crazy Horse and Custer:
The Parallel Lives
of Two American Warriors.
Stephen Ambrose. Great writer.
I know. I just finished his...
...Meriwether Lewis and Thomas Jefferson:
Undaunted Courage.
Amazing.
I'II pick that up right after I finish
F.D.R.: The New York Years.
Jack.
Miranda.
And right after Miranda picked up
EIizabeth I by Jasper Riley...
...Jack picked up Miranda.
Big and I stayed in bed all morning...
...which gave us just enough time
for coffee and some last minute details.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'II be back in a week and you can sit there
and watch as I unpack.
There. I helped.
Before I forget, Charlotte wants to do
a share in the Hamptons.
Are we thinking about it
or should I go in on that?
-Don't think I can.
-Why, not a big fan of the $ crab salad?
There's a possibility
I'm not gonna be here this summer.
I may have to move to Paris for work.
Just for a while.
For how Iong a while?
I don't know.
Seven months, maybe a year.
Nothing's definite.
Wait!
Wait, wait, wait.
How Iong have you known?
It's been in the works for a while.
I'II know more details after this trip.
When did you plan on telling me?
When I knew more. Nothing's definite.
Don't get carried away.
There's the car.
I have to go, or I'II miss the plane.
We'II figure this all out when I get back.
I wanted to k*ll him!
He's standing there giving me
the "what's-the-big-problem" eyes.
I don't understand, Iike it's my problem.
Calm down.
There are ways to make this work.
It's seven months.
You can go visit in Paris.
-He can come back here.
-It's not about that.
It's about the fact that I wasn't even
a factor in his decision-making process.
-Totally.
-Men do this all the time.
Women walking around thinking "we."
And their version of "we"
is "me and my d*ck."
Totally.
Just tell me what's going on!
Is that too much to ask?
"Carrie, I'm thinking about going to France
for the rest of my Iife!"
-Am I right?
-Totally.
One minute he's all over me,
and the next he's pushing me away.
And I just cannot believe
this is happening, again!
Yes, calm down.
There'II be no breaking of things.
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
I must be a masochist or something.
That's when I first realized it.
I was in an S & M relationship
with Mr. Big.
Excuse me.
In love relationships, there is a fine line
between pleasure and pain.
In fact, it's a common belief
that a relationship without pain...
...is a relationship not worth having.
To some, pain implies growth.
But how do we know
when the growing pains stop...
...and the "pain-pains" take over?
Are we masochists or optimists,
if we continue to walk that fine line?
When it comes to relationships...
...how do you know
when enough is enough?
When you read The Complete w*r Memoirs
of Charles de Gaulle...
...get back to me.
On Tuesday night,
Miranda and Jack had dinner.
In the biography of her life...
...this would go down
as the best first date in history.
This is kind of what I wanted to show you.
Mark Twain Iived here.
Right around the time he wrote Huck Finn.
Really?
Come on.
-It's private property.
-I know.
I'm gonna show you his Iittle house.
Right there, number .
It's cute.
Just when Miranda thought
she could read Jack perfectly...
...he opened an entire new chapter.
No.
Someone might come by,
we could get caught.
I know.
A chapter entitled:
"I like to have sex in places
I can get caught."
With my one man out of town in Paris...
...I found time to have drinks
with my other man.
I need your advice.
But in order to get it,
I have to confess something.
-I'm asking you not to judge me.
-Who am I to judge anyone?
I had bangs in the s.
I have cybersex on the Internet.
And this would be the nonjudgment part?
My name is Rick PIus.
No, you didn't!
Rick PIus: How sad is that?
I think it shows a great deal of restraint.
You could have been "Rick ."
So, I've been chatting with this guy
and we have a really great time.
But now he wants to meet
and I don't know if I should.
Let's figure this out.
What do you know about him?
His name is Bigtool U.
My God.
Come on, Carrie. This is serious.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Rick.
Where does he want to meet you?
At an after-hours gay club
in the Meatpacking District.
Makes sense. Tell me why you want to go.
He seems hot. It's exciting.
I haven't had good sex
since before Cats was on Broadway.
I say go.
Have a naughty Iittle adventure.
Be safe, have fun.
What if he disses me?
He said he's really great Iooking
and has a really ripped body.
Well, are you Rick PIus?
I'm so getting your point.
After Rick Plus went home...
...I decided I was just drunk enough
to call Big.
It's me. What are you doing?
I'm in bed.
I think it's called sleeping.
So, you're funny in France?
It's : in the morning.
What is it?
I would Iike to know...
...how you could even think
of going to Paris...
...and not even think
about discussing it with me.
I think about you all the time.
What's he doing? What's he thinking?
But you, no.
When were you planning to tell me?
Are you still there?
Yes.
Okay, because I think about you
all the time.
No. Correction, correction.
I think about us all the time.
Can we get into this another time?
I was sleeping.
It's never a good time for you. You're
always sleeping, or you're going....
You're always going, "Taxi!"
Then you're on a plane to France
for maybe a year.
You're a freaking old man.
You should be thinking
about somebody else.
This is not fake us. This is real.
Even if you don't know it, it is.
I am a woman.
A wo-man!
Have another cocktail, Woman.
This isn't about cocktails.
This is about basic human decency.
This is about taking responsibility.
It's about being a grown-up.
It's about being a man.
I am a man.
I'm a tired man.
It's : in the morning here.
You better get used to it because if you
move, this is how our relationship will be.
You'II be sleeping when I'm eating
and I'II be sleeping....
sh*t.
sh*t.
Are you still there?
I'm going to bed.
I have an important meeting at : .
Fine, hang up. Don't call me
when I'm sleeping because...
...I have a job here too, you know.
sh*t.
Even through my Cosmopolitan haze,
I knew I had gone too far.
Take off your panties.
What?
I want to give you head.
In the cab?
You're not serious?
The driver is right there.
Yes.
Yes!
Take Ninth Avenue.
A few days later on the way home,
Charlotte couldn't help but notice...
...a gorgeous pair of Italian slingbacks
in the window.
I just came in to Iook.
You have a very high arch.
-Are you a dancer?
-No.
Such well-formed feet.
I was in Miss Debbie's Twirlers
when I was a Iittle girl.
They are so beautiful.
For anyone else, $ .
For you, free.
What? No, Buster.
Why would you do something Iike that?
Because these beautiful feet are tired
and they need a Iittle rub.
When a shoe fetish meets a foot fetish,
all reason goes out the shop window.
I am way overreacting
to this whole France situation.
I think Charlotte's right,
there are ways to work this out.
What made you change your mind?
I completely Iost my sh*t to Big
on the phone.
And I realized how close this whole thing
is to really blowing up.
Yes, it's painful sometimes,
but it's worth it, you know?
The guy has to go there for work.
And what is so awful about spending
a week here and there...
-...with your boyfriend in Paris?
-Nothing, it's so romantic.
Great, your Iove Iife takes you to Paris
and I'm f*cking in the back of a cab.
-That's Iovely.
-And not just there.
We've done it in the bathroom
at Bond Street.
I just ate there!
The elevator at the Marriott Marquis
and a public restroom in Central Park.
How very "George Michael" of you.
We've actually never done it Iying down,
or inside, for that matter.
This is supposed to be a relationship,
not Outward Bound.
You've got to get him in a bedroom
and find out what's really there.
I'm a Iittle afraid to try.
He Iikes the thr*at of getting caught.
What if being with just me isn't enough?
Excuse me, Miss Charlotte,
what is happening south of your ankles?
-They're new. Do you Iike them?
-I Iove them! $ ?
No, not that much.
-The guy just kind of gave me a deal.
-How much?
Free.
-Why?
-And where is he?
He just wanted me to have them.
He just really Ioves it
when people Iove shoes.
Sweetie, this is New York City,
nobody Ioves anything that much.
Well, I Iet him hold my feet. Just a Iittle.
The second she said it out loud,
she knew what she had to do.
Hello, again.
I can't keep these shoes you gave me.
-Why?
-You know why.
You've already worn them,
I can't take them back. Keep them.
No, thank you!
-Then I'II throw them in the garbage.
-No, they're too beautiful.
I'd buy them, but I can't afford it.
What about a trade?
Six new styles just came in.
I've never seen them on a foot.
Charlotte looked down
at the exquisite shoes.
The smell of leather was intoxicating.
AII I have to do is try the shoes on?
Charlotte felt like Cinderella.
Cinderella in a dirty, kinky, freaked out,
storybook, parallel universe.
Thank you.
Big arrived on the : p.m. flight.
I was at his door by :
to welcome him home in style.
Bonjour, voila le French hat,
Voila, le French fry.
And it doesn't stop there.
I have le Big Mac, and Ie Filet de Fish.
What is all this?
It's an apology for being le bitch.
I've been thinking about this.
We can make this work.
We'II do le phone sex.
If things get really bad,
then I'II move to Paris for a while...
...and write Le Sex in le City.
-That would be great.
-Which one?
I don't care.
But you'd be moving to Paris
for yourself, right?
I mean, don't move for me.
Why would I move to Paris
if it wasn't for you?
I'm just saying...
...I don't want you to uproot
your Iife and expect anything.
-I am such an idiot!
-What the f*ck?
I'm running around town in a beret,
buying your greasy food...
...and you don't even care
if I'm in your Iife!
-Would you calm down?
-No!
I'm so tired of calming down!
Look, I have to be in a relationship...
...where if I have to go to Paris,
I have to go to Paris.
Fine, go to Paris.
Then what happens to us next year...
...when you decide
you just have to go to Brazil?
This isn't about us! This is about work!
This isn't about work.
This is about us getting closer...
...and you getting so freaked out...
...that you have to put an ocean
between us.
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
Why is it so hard...
...for you to factor me into your Iife
in any real way?
I guess old habits die hard.
Maybe I can't do this anymore.
I understand.
I bet you do.
You said you Ioved me.
I do.
Then why does it hurt so f*cking much?
On the way home I was furious.
Not with Big, with myself.
I was the real sadist.
He might be the one with the whip,
but I was the one who tied myself up.
Tied myself to a man
who was terrified of being tied down.
And downtown,
in the Meatpacking District...
...another terrified man
was preparing to face his fears.
Take them off.
Excuse me?
Stanford panicked.
He hadn 't been seen in his underwear...
...by a roomful of men
since seventh grade gym class.
What's it gonna be, pal? In or out?
So, Rick Plus undressed.
It would have been rude
to stand up Bigtool U.
To her surprise, Miranda had no trouble
getting Jack to agree to make love...
...in his bedroom that night.
Let's do it in bed.
Suddenly, her fear of his fetish ended.
Miranda realized that Jack's excitement
wasn't about getting caught.
It was about her
and she really began to let loose.
Something she'd been unable
to do outside.
Jack? Is everything all right?
Who was that?
It's my mother. My parents are visiting.
Son?
They sound Iike they're coming in here.
Are they coming in here?
At first, Stanford thought he'd be shunned
for lack of the popular six-pack abs.
But then....
Never seen that kind before.
They're French!
I bought them in Paris.
Turn around.
Stanford Blanche had never felt
more special.
Nice.
Bigtool U?
Excuse me?
Another beer for you?
I'II buy.
Stanford learned that sometimes
a brief encounter can be quite fulfilling.
I went to bed at : .
I was still wide-awake at : .
There were no words left.
We'd said them all.
After we made love, I knew it was over.
Did I ever really love Big
or was I addicted to the pain?
The exquisite pain
of wanting someone so unattainable.
What are you doing over there?
Go to Paris.
I'm not gonna come.
Let's not pretend
we're something we're not.
It's okay.
Come to bed.
I wanted to go to him,
but I felt like I was tied to the chair.
Some part of me was holding me back,
knowing I had gone too far.
Reached my limit.
And just like that,
I had untied myself from Mr. Big.
I was free.
But there was nothing exquisite about it.