03x17 - The Return of the King

[bunniefuu]

Cheers, baby. Cheers.

So are we gonna talk about that?

What? That handcuff on your wrist.

Jesus, give me a break. It's a bracelet, that's all.

It's called the Love Bracelet though, right?

I don't know what it's called.

That's what it's called... a Cartier Love Bracelet.

Does this mean that Vince and Amanda are in love?

No, it means E knows way too much about jewelry.

Is that what it's called, Vince?

I don't know what it's called, Turtle.

All I know is you're annoying me.

Amanda got me a gift, a very nice gift, and I happen to like it, all right?

So stay off my ass.

You guys are not gonna believe the luck of the Irish.

We've got a sure thing running in the fifth.

Really? Are you serious?

How do you know, Drama? Because I know the pony's granddad.

And in horseracing, as in life, a good lineage is the surest way to predict a fine performance.

Well, how come you're from Vince's lineage and all your performances suck?

All right, Johnny, who's the granddaddy?

Kingmaker. Remember that name?

Kingmaker?

No. Who's that?

Come on, Kingmaker... he came home for me at 10 to one at Belmont.

That's how I bought the Lincoln. Any of this ringing a bell?

Not really. No.

I thought you bought your Lincoln from selling weed at the high school.

That rings a bell. Whatever.

You guys wanna win some dough with me or not?

Yes. Obviously.

Definitely. But it's not till the fifth race, so can we do another sh*t?

You guys are doing sh*ts at 10:30 in the morning?

Relax, kid. It's a holiday.

What holiday is it? Yom Kippur, ret*rd.

Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot.

No wonder there was no traffic.

Hey, chief, can we get a couple sh*ts of Cuervo over here, please?

Yeah. Coming up.

I hate this. I'm starving. Now you know what Mommy goes through every day to make a hot body for Daddy.

Ari! Daddy's just kidding, sweetie.

Sarah, we fast and make other important sacrifices today to show God we're sorry for our sins.

Daddy ate a breath mint. What?

Now you're gonna have to atone for ratting Daddy out, baby.

What, do you think God wants my breath to smell?

Ari. There he is, little Nicky Rubenstein.

Sheila, how are you? Good to see you. How are you doing?

Happy new year. Where's the old man?

He's on a plane to Colombia.

On the highest of holidays, would you believe?

Ma, stop. We've got enough stress today.

Your father's got $100 million in the bank. How much stress can you have?

Well, "Medallion"'s falling apart.

It's "Medellin," Mom. Why the f*ck can't anyone pronounce it?

Do not curse in the temple. Excuse me. Benicio walked and my father's trying to prevent the whole crew from doing the same.

He's been saying Benicio's gonna walk for weeks.

No, it's official. Check out "US Weekly." There's a picture of him on a catamaran with some blonde bombshell in Anguilla.

It was Antigua. Antigua, Anguilla... who the f*ck cares?

All right, excuse me, excuse me.

The point is, Haggis is freaked, okay?

And Gatoff is giving us till sundown tonight to find a replacement or he's gonna shut the whole thing down.

I hear Cruise is going for 10¢ on the dollar.

No no no no. I want your boy, Ari. I want Vince.

He's not my boy anymore. Then put me on the phone with him, 'cause this girl's agency is closed for the f*cking holiday.

Ari doesn't have a phone, Nick. It's Yom Kippur.

Nick doesn't either because I frisked him before we walked out.

Look, since you won't commission Vince on this, commission us, okay?

The back end could be huge.

Jesus Christ, it is Yom Kippur.

And look who just said "Jesus Christ." Your father agreed to this?

I know that you know I speak for the family.

Now come on, help a fellow member of the tribe.

Ari.

My hands are tied, Nick. I can't do it.

Not today. No business. Thank you.

50 to one... that's your sure thing?

The bigger the odds, the bigger the payday.

I'm in for a G.

A G? Are you out of your f*cking mind?

Trust me. I'm putting in five bucks, that's it.

Yeah, I'm good for 10. Pussies.

Are you really feeling this, Johnny?

Yeah, they're underestimating him, bro, just like they did his granddad.

And you remember what he got us? The Lincoln, baby.

Remember all the good times we had in that car?

First Knick game we ever went to was in that car.

First Giants game too. First trip to A.C. Also.

We never took the Lincoln to A.C.

You might have been out of town, Johnny.

Jesus Christ, who drove?

What's the difference? Come on, we're in.

Well, it's only money. I'm good for five Gs.

Five Gs?

We're all gonna get rich today, baby.

But let me go first. I don't want you guys f*cking up my odds.

Look at this.

What is this, a drunk dial, Ari?

Sorry, E, the Manischewitz is not flowing till sundown.

What do you want? I have an offer. Are you interested?

Yeah. Call our agent.

Ironic that on my people's holiday I'm working and she's not. Such is life.

So call her tomorrow.

Benicio just quit "Medellin" officially.

They want Vince but they need him fast.

Says who? Phil Rubenstein.

I'm standing right next to his son/co-producer right now.

Nick, say hello. Hello, E.

Hey, Nick. We want Vince. This is no bullshit.

What's going on?

Ari's with Phil Rubenstein's son Nick right now.

They want you to do "Medellin."

This is the third time Ari has promised you this movie, E.

Yeah, but this time it's real.

By the way, this is also the third time you promised me that you guys would stop talking to him.

We're not talking to him. We're talking to Nick Rubenstein.

Ari represents him. It's not our fault.

No, I guess not. But I guess it's my problem.

So what, I'm supposed to just show up at a temple on the most religious day of the year to discuss business?

You're not just showing up. They're expecting you. They're gonna meet you in the alley behind the southern entrance next to the dumpsters.

What, should I bring a g*n too? Come on, Eric, this is absurd.

What's she saying? She doesn't want to go to temple.

Let me talk to her. She'll go to temple for Vince.

She'd go to the Gaza Strip in a yarmulke for Vince.

You realize that this has to be locked down by sunset, right?

Yes, Eric, I heard you, and I will meet them anywhere else.

Amanda. Put Vince on.

Can I talk to her? Why did you want me to call her?

I didn't want you to feel left out of the process. Come on.

This is not a good situation, Vince.

Hello. Hey, Vince.

Okay, it's Yom Kippur. This is ridiculous.

I know, I know.

I know.

Looks like you're the third wheel now, huh, E?

A tiny little spare wheel.

Oh, there he is.

We love you, King!

Aw, he looks out of shape. What are you talking about?

Look at those glutes. f*cking beautiful.

Do you wanna win money on him or f*ck him, Drama?

Don't talk uncivilized at the track, E.

What'd she say?

It's all good. She's heading to temple now.

That was a sure thing.

This will be the easiest paycheck you ever made, except for that stint at Spearmint Rhino.

Stop wasting time, Ari. You've got a lot of begging for God's forgiveness to go back to. Okay, look, Amanda, I spoke to the big studio chief this morning, okay? And he's prepared to meet Vince's quote.

Great. Then this should be easy.

Fantastic. So we've got a deal at three mil.

Um, no, because Vince's quote is six mil.

S-six?

What's the matter, Ari, short-term memory loss?

Ari, is it six? Yeah, Nick, it's six.

I should know, I got it there.

Okay, are we doing a deal or talking about glory days?

I could swear my father said it was three.

Whatever. Deal. It's a deal. We'll do it at six.

Great. Have Arthur sign off, call me, and we're closed.

Done. We get Vince on the plane tonight, dot the "I's" in the morning, yes?

Uh, no. Arthur calls first.

Uh, Amanda...

...Amanda, Arthur Gatoff is a very religious man. It's Yom Kippur.

The man doesn't even let his kid go to Les Deux on Friday night.

I give you the Rubenstein family word we have a deal at six.

The Rubenstein family word?

That is really reassuring, Nick.

Wow. Okay, Amanda, we've changed, all right?

Neither one of us has had a sip in over a year.

Here's my number. The phone will be on all day.

Mom told me to find you.

You did. I'm in the bathroom. I'm not feeling well.

I'm on my hands and knees. I'm very sick right now, honey.

You want me to lie?!

That is the beauty of Yom Kippur... as long as you apologize by sundown, doesn't matter what you do.

Now go. I'll be back soon.

What the f*ck are we gonna do?

Let's go get Gatoff.

He's at Wilshire Orthodox. It's two miles away. You got a car?

No. You? No. Call a cab?

Got any money? No, Mom took it. You?

The wife took everything but my fillings.

So what now?

Now, like our desert-dwelling ancestors we walk.

Aw...

Come on! You're the King! Go, baby, go!

Easy, Drama. He's in last.

Shut up, Turtle. He's pacing himself.

He looks like he's on a leisure walk.

Okay.

Sure you can take me to the airport.

Yeah, sounds like a great sendoff.

Okay, bye.

It's all good. She said the money's no biggie.

They're just waiting for the studio head to sign off.

What? Nothing.

Your giggling's making me a little nauseous.

Giggling? There was no giggling. I laughed.

Sounded like a giggle to me.

If your voice goes up in pitch past the high C, it's a giggle. You hit a D there, bro.

Whatever. Whatever is right, 'cause look who's making his move. Go, King!

Holy sh*t!

King's Ransom on the outside...

Come on, baby! 50 to one! Make it home!

To the finish line, it's King's Ransom and Go For Broke.

Now Go For Broke fighting back.

King's Ransom trying to hold the lead, but here comes Go For Broke driving hard on the outside and into the lead.

And at the wire, it's Go For Broke!

Go For Broke, in another strong...

What? Oh, well.

90° this time of year? I mean, can anyone really debate global warming at this point?

Should have thought about that when you took your dad's G4 to Jamaica last year.

Hey, you try flying commercial with 12 lbs of kush.

But those days are behind me, Ari.

The polar icecaps are grateful, Nick.

Good Yontif.

This is wildly inappropriate, coming to my shul on this day of all days to discuss money.

I have a bad enough reputation here after the hellish divorce I've just gone through.

At least you're at a place where you can meet a nice Jewish girl, Arthur.

Come on, we were at temple too.

This is time-sensitive. God will understand.

We all have to take care of our own...

Ari, I have to go back inside.

Arthur, look, you said you'd meet Vince's quote.

You said his quote was three. I was wrong.

You and your father have been wrong about a lot of things on this one, Nick.

Maybe animation is more your bag.

Wow.

You cut the Rubensteins like that on a high holiday?

I'm sorry. Forgive me.

Arthur, I forgive you. Just make a quick phone call. It'll take a second.

Nick, I don't know what goes on at that half-church reform synagogue of yours, but here we don't talk business on Yom Kippur.

Now please, before I get angry...

All right.

Call Amanda, tell her she's gonna throw this movie away.

She doesn't trust us, Nick.

Which one of you tried to f*ck her anyway?

Both. But in my father's defense, he was legally separated at the time.

What's your excuse? I don't have one.

I still want to f*ck her.

Let's call E. Why?

Put the fear of God into the little Irishman.

He's more of a neurotic Jew than you are.

It's okay, bro.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Winning ain't everything.

It would have been nice if you at least placed, though.

What? I had a hundy on that.

Don't make him feel worse, Turtle.

So if you can't race him anymore, then what?

Are you gonna put him out to stud?

No, he's sterile. So it's either the dude ranch or the glue factory.

The glue factory? You're kidding.

Unfortunately, in this game sometimes you gotta cut your losses.

Well, how about I cut your losses for you?

How much to take him off your hands?

Johnny, hey, what are you doing? Are you crazy?

I owe his granddad, bro. Plus, I'm flush with network funds anyway.

How much?

Two grand.

Two grand? Yeah, Ari.

Do you want this movie, E? What are you talking about?

I'm talking about money. Your girl is asking for too much of it.

No, Vince spoke to her. She said it was all good. We were just waiting for the studio to sign off. It's 3:30. They're not gonna sign off.

They've gone as high as they can go.

So unless she starts slashing prices like Crazy Eddie, it's bye-bye, Bogota.

Well, how far off are they? 100%.

It's an arthouse movie. She's trying to turn it into M:i:III.

I think she's trying to blow the deal.

The clock is ticking.

Get back to me, E. I gotta run.

I don't even know what to say.

I do. I'm sorry. I will fast the whole week to prove to you how sorry I am.

Just get your ass in that temple and set a good example for your children.

Give me the phone.

And the bat phone.

Thank you.

Vince, I'm completely shocked to be hearing this, because when I left they said there was no problem and nobody's called me back since to tell me otherwise.

Well, will you call them back, please, find out what they're talking about, lock this thing down?

I wouldn't even know where to reach them. I don't have Nick's number.

Well, you do have Ari's.

You want me to call Ari?

I know you hate dealing with him, but do it for me, please.

Sure. Thank you, Amanda.

I appreciate it. Bye-bye.

Yep.

What, she didn't want to call Ari?

Understandable, no?

What? I mean, you know, do you think there's maybe any truth to what Ari was saying?

That she's trying to screw this up? Why would she do that?

Maybe she doesn't like it for you 'cause she didn't find it for you.

Come on. Or maybe she doesn't want you to go away for six months. Handcuffs, Vince.

Aw, the downside of f*cking the representatives.

You agree with these guys too, Johnny?

Don't get me wrong, Amanda's a hot-looking broad, but she ain't never had a piece like you, bro.

Huh. You think Vince is a piece, Drama?

It's a figure of speech, jackass. Whatever.

Whatever whatever.

What is your problem? My problem is the deal isn't done, and you're talking to her like she's your girlfriend and not your agent.

She's dealing with it. I hope so.

Where are we gonna keep this guy, Drama, seriously?

Right here, till we find him a good home.

What's the problem?

No problem.

On this holiest of days, God asks us to look within ourselves and ask forgiveness for the things we have done to wrong each other.

Though a solemn day, we can look at it with hope, for in this year we will be better.

We will act out of kindness and selflessness.

I think that's your phone.

Have you ever heard of "vibrate"?

We will practice the call to action...

What if that was Amanda?

Nick, it'll have to wait.

What if it was Vince? What if it was E?

Nick, it will have to wait.

Look, I can't afford to wait, okay?

I'm the one who f*cked up the quote. My father says any more mistakes, I'm gonna have to get a real job.

Ari, I'm gonna end up drunk again selling insurance.

I have to go back to Arthur.

Ari, don't.

Baby, the kid is melting down like Phil Mickelson at Winged Foot.

I can't abandon a brother in peril, not on the high holidays.

Abandon me again, Ari, and you're gonna have to do a whole lot more than pray.

I wouldn't move, Daddy. We must face the wrong we have done to others this year and the wrong that has been done unto us.

$5000 to board a horse, and that doesn't even include food. I am so pissed right now.

You think you're pissed? Wait till the gardener sees he has to clean up more than just Arnold's sh*t on Tuesday.

Maybe you should return him, Johnny.

I can't, bro.

I love him.

Yo, the King just left the building.

What do you mean?

I mean he just walked right out of the gate.

Where did he go? He didn't say, Drama.

You can't babysit for two seconds, can you?

How is this my fault?

King! King!

I told you.

Well, get in the car, Turtle. We gotta find him.

We'll be right back. Come on, you fat bastard, let's go.

Shut up.

It's Amanda. Hello. Hey.

So I left word for Ari and I'm just waiting for a callback.

She's waiting for a callback. What?

Well, she should call Ari again. Let me talk to her.

Hold on. E wants to talk to you.

Hello. What's up, E?

Uh, Amanda, you should call Ari.

We have a deadline. The sun's starting to set.

Eric, what do you want me to do? I left a message and I said yes.

Well, what if he doesn't get it in time?

Eric, do you really believe that Arthur Gatoff is gonna scrap an $80-million movie based on some ridiculous deadline?

Well, that's what the producer of the movie says, so yes, I do.

Okay, Eric, the producer and his new high-powered agent are trying to hold a g*n to our heads and you're falling for it.

He calls this an arthouse film? This is 50 arthouse films.

So, please, just relax and all will be fine. Trust me, okay?

Okay?

Okay.

Now I will call you when I hear something.

What'd she say?

She thinks the deadline doesn't mean sh*t.

What do you think?

I think she's been on this movie five minutes.

We've been chasing it two years.

I don't want to lose this movie, Vince.

So what do you want to do? I'll do anything you want.

I want to go find Nick and Ari ourselves.

Old school E ain't playin'. Alrighty.

King! Oh, King!

Are you around here, King?

He's a horse, Drama, not a housecat.

I think we'd see him if he was around. Don't even talk to me, Turtle.

I did not leave the gate open, all right?

I told you it opens automatically with the sensors.

Not when I go out there, it don't.

That's 'cause he's a horse, Drama. He weighs 3000 lbs.

Just drive the car. All right, relax, we'll find him.

We'd better. 'Cause if anything happens to him, I'll never forgive myself.

Look.

Thank God.

King! King!

All right, don't crowd him, don't crowd him.

Step away. Step away from the horse. He gets a little nervous.

How are you doing, buddy? Where have you been?

Is this your horse?

Indeed it is, young lady. Indeed it is.

Cool. The cops have been asking everyone.

Excuse me, Officers, it's this guy's horse.

Can we eat yet?

In five minutes, Shel, you can eat till you drop.

Okay okay.

Excuse me.

I'm not even making a call. I'm just checking messages.

In four minutes, Ari, when the sun is down.

Look at your uncle.

Shelley!

Sorry sorry. I'm a bad Jew. sh**t me.

Hey, Ari.

Oh, will you look at this, huh?

The boys from Queens are in the market for some brisket.

Sorry to bother you. We don't mean to intrude.

We tried to call you but no one was answering.

Well, that would be my fault. I have his phones.

What's up?

We're in, Ari. Whatever it takes. Just tell us how to get a hold of Nick. That's easy. You got a phone?

What? They're not Jewish.

Don't you dare answer that phone, Nick.

Hey! My life is falling apart!

I haven't eaten in 10 hours!

So get off my ass!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Hello. Nick, I'm standing here with Vince.

Hey, Nick. He's in.

I'm in, Nick. Whatever you need.

He'll jump on a plane tonight, lock a deal down tomorrow if everyone agrees to be fair.

Yeah, well, life's not fair, guys.

What do you mean?

It's over. It's over. The sun has set.

What are you talking about? We've still got two minutes.

We're good to go. He pulled the plug, Ari.

Gatoff yanked it right out of the f*cking wall.

What do you mean, Nick? I mean it's gone.

Eric, it's gone. The movie is gone and there's nothing I can do about it.

6:58. Everybody can eat.

Thanks, I lost my appetite.

$5000 bucks for not having a permit.

That's twice what I paid for the big boy.

And you're gonna keep getting tickets, Drama.

You gotta give this guy back.

They'll send him to the glue factory, Turtle.

No go.

We gotta find him a good home.

Do you know anyone that's got horses?

You know everyone I know, Drama. No.

I got an idea.

Oh, this doesn't sound good.

Oh no, it's good. It's very good for my horse and my career. Come, boy. Come on, King.

Where are you going? Help me get him in the trailer.

Guys, I know how much you wanted this, and as a friend I can only say I'm sorry.

Thanks. Thanks, Ari.

Hey, you know, and thanks for not bashing Amanda during this.

I know you've been dying to.

I think the situation speaks for itself.

Ari. Sorry sorry.

See you, Ari. Good night.

He would have never let this happen.

No, he wouldn't have. So what now?

Now I deal with it.

Take me to the restaurant.

Hey, Eddie.

Hey, Johnny. What's up?

Sorry to bother you. I hope you're not in the middle of dinner.

No no, we just finished. But how did you get my address?

Good one, Eddie. But I've been here before.

Have you?

Haven't I?

What's going on? Are you nervous about the premiere?

Look, people are gonna watch, trust me, all right?

No no, I feel good about that.

I just came by to say thank you

'cause I owe you big time for this one.

And I won't let you down. That's good, that's good.

I appreciate that, all right?

And I brought you a gift as a token of my appreciation.

A gift? Yeah yeah.

Come here. You're gonna love it.

Turtle!

You bought me a horse?

Yeah, well, I thought since you have small kids...

Are you out of your f*cking mind? This is Beverly Hills.

What am I gonna do with a horse?

Oh my God, a horse!

Is that for my birthday? He's so beautiful!

Thank you, man.

Nice.

Do you want me to go in with you?

No, I got it.

But wait. It'll be quick.

I'm sorry, Vince.

Are you?

What does that mean?

It means, Amanda, I chased this movie for two years harder than I've chased anything in my life and I wanted it so badly.

I know, Vince, and I wanted it for you.

It doesn't feel that way. No? How does it feel?

It feels like you stalled. And I'm just wondering, are you stalling as my agent because you don't like the project or as my girlfriend because you don't like the idea that I'll be gone for six months?

Ari convinced you that I stalled?

I lost a project. What difference does it make who it was?

The difference is, you have never let Ari go.

Well, maybe I shouldn't have.

No, maybe you shouldn't have.

But let me just tell you this:

I didn't lose the movie. The movie was lost when Nick Rubenstein barged into Arthur Gatoff's temple for the second time this afternoon like the spoiled little baby he is.

Now Arthur pays people to make his life easier, but today Nick didn't do that.

Instead, he aggravated him even more.

And I know this because Arthur called me right after sundown.

And you know what he said? "This movie was plagued since day one.

I'm gonna cut my losses. But I love Vince.

I'd love to do just about anything else with him.

Let's set a lunch."

I feel stupid.

Probably doesn't happen to you a lot, huh?

So what do we do now?

Now, Vince, we say goodbye.