02x02 - Episode #2.2

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Twin Peaks". Aired: April 8, 1990 - September 3, 2017.*
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Series follows an investigation by FBI Special Agent Dale and local Sheriff Harry into the m*rder of homecoming queen Laura Palmer in the fictional town of Twin Peaks.
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02x02 - Episode #2.2

Post by bunniefuu »

Buddhist tradition first came
to the land of snow

in the 5th century A.D.

The first Tibetan king to be touched
by the dharma

was King Hathatha Rignamputsan.

He and succeeding kings
were collectively known

as the Happy Generations.

Now, some historians place them
in a Water Snake year, 213 A.D.

Others in the year of a Water Ox,
173 A.D.

Amazing, isn't it?
The Happy Generations.

Agent Cooper, I am thrilled to pieces
that the dharma came

to King Ho-Ho-Ho, I really am,

but I'm trying to focus
on the more immediate problems

of our own century here
in Twin Peaks.

Albert, you'd be surprised
at the connection between the two.

Color me amazed.

Ronette Pulaski
has woken from her coma.

And?

I'm thinking she's gonna have
quite a story to tell,

- when she regains the ability to speak.
- So she's not talking?

Mm. Waking but silent,
probably shock.

I'm gonna show her the sketches
of Leo Johnson and Bob,

the man Sarah Palmer saw
in her vision.

The man who came to me
in my dream.

Has anyone seen Bob on Earth
in the last few weeks?

No, not yet.

Okay. I performed the autopsy
on Jacques Renault.

Stomach contents revealed...

Let's see:
beer cans, a Maryland license plate,

half a bicycle tire, a goat
and a small wooden puppet,

goes by the name of Pinocchio.

You're making a joke.

I like to think of myself
as one of the Happy Generations.

And by the way,
the fat boy wasn't strangled.

k*ller snuffed him with a pillow.
He was wearing gloves.

Tape used to bind his wrists
was stolen

from the hospital supply closet.
That is it.

If Jacques has any secrets,
he'll be taking them underground.

- What about the mill?
- Well, preliminary suggests arson.

I nominate Leo Johnson.

We'll have to get a statement
from Shelly Johnson.

Hospital says she's well enough.

How do you feel?

- Me?
- I believe it's customary to ask

after the health of one
recently plugged three times.

Thanks for asking.

- Don't get sentimental.
- Who sh*t me, Albert?

My men are interrogating
the hotel guests,

the usual bumper crop
of rural know-nothings

and drunken fly fishermen.
Nothing so far.

The world's most decrepit
room-service waiter

remembers nothing out of the ordinary
about the night.

No surprise there.

Señor Droolcup has, shall we say,
a mind that wanders.

Albert, my ring is gone.

One day here, the next day gone.

So?

I'm glad you're with us, Albert.
We need the very best.

Dedication to duty wasn't the only thing
that brought me back here, Cooper.

- What else?
- Windom Earle.

Agent Earle?

He's retired.

To a nice comfy chair
complete with wrist restraints

at the local laughing academy.

What happened?

Nobody knows.

Your former partner
flew the coop, Coop.

He escaped. Vanished into thin air.

That's not good.

Hello?

Mrs. Tremond?
It's Meals on Wheels.

Hello?

Enter.

Mrs. Tremond?

Can I put your meal here?

Yes, that's fine.

Miss?

Oh, hi.

Sometimes things
can happen just like this:

Creamed corn.

Do you see creamed corn
on that plate?

Yes.

I requested no creamed corn.

Do you see creamed corn
on that plate?

No.

My grandson is studying magic.

That's nice.

Who are you?

I'm taking over Laura Palmer's place
on the Meals on Wheels.

She's dead.

Did you know her well?

No.

Okay, Mrs. Tremond.

I'll be back tomorrow to pick this up
and to bring your lunch.

They used to bring me
hospital food.

Imagine that.

Young lady?

You might ask Mr. Smith next door.

He was Laura's friend.

Mr. Smith does not leave his house.

Hello?

She seemed like a very nice girl.

Thanks, Harry.

Ronette?

I can't get this thing to work.

Excuse us, Ronette.

"Stop.

Read operating instructions
beneath seat before using.

Stand next to chair or stool.

Do not remain seated.

Place foot on base

and pull seat all the way up

until you hear a click."

Sorry, Ronette.

Ronette,

can you hear me?

Okay.

I'm glad you're feeling better.

I don't want to upset you,
but we need your help.

I'm gonna show you some sketches.

We need to know
if you've seen these men before.

We need to know if these
are the men that hurt you, okay?

Do you recognize this man?

Is this the man that hurt you?

Mm.

Ronette.

Train. Train.

- Ronette?
- Tr... Train, train.

- Nurse. Right away.
- Train?

- Train?
- Tra...

Are you in the train car? Train car?

Train, train, train!

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Train!

Okay, okay. Stay calm.

Train, train.

Brother Ben,
we've got two ledgers

and one smoked cheese pig.

Which one do we burn?

And it ain't gonna be my pig.

The real ledger shows the mill
slowly sinking into bankruptcy,

masterminded by Catherine.

The one she faked,
for public consumption,

shows the mill
turning a healthy profit.

So which one do we burn?

Catherine's dead,

we put all of our money on Josie,

Catherine takes the fall for the fire,

Josie pockets the insurance money,

sells us the mill and the land and...
No, wait a minute.

First she has to get dear Pete
to sign on the dotted line.

Why does Pete have to sign?

Andrew's will calls for Catherine
or her heirs to approve of any sale.

So which one do we burn?

Once Josie sells us the mill,

we could get a better price
if it appears to be more profitable.

So we burn the real one.

On the other hand,

the real one would hold up
under any future scrutiny.

Depending upon how one looks
at the situation, it appears

they both have merit.

I know.

Maybe we should burn both of them.

It looks like we are 100 percent certain
that we're not sure.

Jer, obviously something
requires burning.

And since we don't wanna set fire
to your smoked cheese pig,

why don't we, uh,

try these?

Marshmallows!

Ben, where are those hickory sticks?

Margaret,
it's always very nice to see you.

But if you're gonna spit
your sticky pitch gum out in the diner,

please use an ashtray

and not the counter or the booth
like you did last time?

I'll have a bear claw.

You wear shiny objects
on your chest.

Yes, I do.

Are you proud?

No, achievement is its own reward.
Pride obscures it.

Cream?

My log has something to tell you.

Do you know it?

I don't believe
we've been introduced.

I do not introduce the log.

Can you hear it?

No, ma'am, I cannot.

I will translate.

Deliver the message.

Do you understand?

Yes, ma'am.
As a matter of fact, I do.

No messages, Deputy Brennan.

Listen to me, Lucy Moran.
You just listen.

When the Tacoma Sperm Bank
was looking for donors,

naturally, I applied.

It's my civic duty,
and I like whales.

A routine physical examination
revealed that I'm sterile.

Sure, I thought it meant
I didn't have to take a bath,

but the doctors told me the truth.

They told me I can't have babies.

So, what I wanna know now is
why are you having one and how?

Hello, Hank.

I bet Lucy asked you
to wait outside, huh?

Might've.

You know,
that's an awfully cute buck, Harry.

Let's not waste our time.

Okay.

Why don't you

just sign in like a good boy?

Keep your nose clean
for another week.

It's really nice to see you again.

Interesting piece of work.

How long were you
and Hank friends?

We grew up together.

Hank used to be
a Bookhouse Boy.

Back then,

Hank was one of the best of us.

Sheriff Truman,

I have Ben Horne
on the phone for you.

Would you like me
to transfer him to you?

Well, not him but his phone call?

Put him on, Lucy.

Mr. Horne, this is Lucy.

I'm gonna transfer you now
into Sheriff Truman's office.

He's in there with
Special Agent Dale Cooper.

Okay, so hold on.

Sheriff Truman,
I've transferred Ben Horne to you.

It's the line with the light
that's blinking.

- Yes, Ben.
- Harry,

Audrey's missing.

- What?
- For as much as, uh, maybe two days.

You hold on.

Audrey Horne is missing.

One insurance policy, unsigned.

"Un"?

The agent said that Catherine
was concerned

about certain irregularities,

such as Josie being named
the chief beneficiary.

Agent wasn't supposed
to show it to her.

Well, considering
Catherine's smoky fate,

for our side, it's all for the best.

Well. Win a few, lose a few.

Let's get those pickled icemen
on the blower.

Gentlemen,
I've been giving this a lot of thought.

This mill fire will put contract signing
on hold for the moment,

so we must ensure that the moment,
our moment, does not pass us by.

I therefore recommend
we make a quick

but cordial follow-up phone call
to Iceland,

a little gentle handling,

let Einar know
that we're right on top of this thing.

We can handle that.

Ben Horne for Einar Thorson.

Oh. Now, this is a coincidence.

Einar.

What's that?

Where did you hear about it?

Mr. Palmer called
to tell you about the fire?

No, no, I wouldn't call it
a disaster at all.

It's just one of those things,
an unfortunate development.

But I assure you, Einar,

that it in no way
will affect our development plans.

Jerry Horne here, Einar.

Full speed ahead.

Yes, yes, of course, Einar.

We will fax all pertinent details
to you.

Yes, yes, I promise.

Listen, I don't want you to worry
your attractive blond head about this.

Einar, I'm in a meeting. Gotta go.

Leland?

Leland, here's an idea.

Let's take you off
of damage control,

let you concentrate on something
that you can handle.

Like my tax return.

I know him.

Excuse me?

My grandfather's summer house
on Pearl Lakes.

He lived right next door.

I was just a little boy.

But I know him.

I've gotta tell the sheriff
about this right away.

Jerry,

please k*ll Leland.

Is this real, Ben,

or some strange and twisted dream?

The b*llet lodged in Leo's spine...

It's all right, Shelly, come on.

The b*llet lodged in his spine,
but we removed it successfully.

As for possible paralysis,
it's too early to tell.

Leo lost a lot of blood,

most of it before we had a chance
to operate.

I fear the resulting oxygen deprivation
starved his brain,

induced the coma you see here.

Is he a vegetable?

Is he in pain?

He's not in pain.

Beyond that, it's hard to say.

Can you make him better?

We can maintain his current state.

Offer nutrition, life-support.

Beyond that,
the only ally we have is time.

I'm sorry, Shelly.

Me too.

Are they gonna put him in prison?

I know he's a suspect
in several felonies.

I guess at the moment
he's kind of in prison anyway.

Yes, he is.

Come on, I'll take you back
to your room.

Norma's waiting downstairs
to drive you home.

Hello, Twin Peaks Sheriff's Station.

Who may I say is calling, please?

I'm sorry, I can't connect you
with Sheriff Truman

unless you tell me
what your name is.

You won't?

I'm sorry, but I can't connect you
with Sheriff Truman

unless you tell me who you are.

I'm terribly sorry,
but I'm going to have to hang up now.

Hey, I'll take it from here.


No. No, you won't.

No, it's okay.

Okay, but watch out for this one.

Okay.

Why is the vacuum cleaner off?

Look at those toes.

What toes?

I brought the ice.

Frosty? My little snowman.

I feel a cold front moving in.

Mm.

Hi, Emory.
You remember me? Huh?

It really looks like you got yourself
in a fix here, huh?

Well, guess what.

I'm gonna tell you a nice
little bedtime story. Are you ready?

Once upon a time there was
a sweet, innocent girl named Red...

That's me.

And she met a bad old wolf...
That's you.

- And she kicked the crap out of that
wolf and she told her daddy all about it.

Then she told the police,

and the bad old wolf
went to jail for a million years.

- What do you want?
- I wanna know everything you know.

Perfume counter, Laura Palmer,
Ronette Pulaski and One-Eyed Jack's.

You're insane.

Heh. I'm insane?

Well, I'm Audrey Horne
and I get what I want.

- Understand?
- Yes, all right.

I work for the owner
of One-Eyed Jack's.

- Who is?
- I work for the owner

- of One-Eyed Jack's.
- Who is?

Your father.

He owns it all.
Hell, he owns everything.

I run girls
through the perfume counter.

I recruited Ronette and Laura.

- Did Laura come here?
- One weekend.

She was using dr*gs.

We threw her out.
I never saw her again, I swear.

Did my father know
that Laura was here?

Yes, yes, he did.

Mr. Horne makes it his business
to entertain all the girls.

Did she know he owned this place?

Owned what?

- One-Eyed Jack's!
- Yes! Yes. Probably she did.

Laura always got her way.

Understand?

Just like you.

Why don't you change the station?

That's good.

Yeah.

I made the call.

Told them I was Leo's cousin.

Leo gets his disability

as long as he stays out of prison.
It's a lot of money, Shelly.

Over 5,000 a month.

But you only get it
if he stays at home.

I don't care about the money.
I don't want Leo home.

Leo is in dreamland.

You can stick him in the corner
and hang doughnuts from his ears.

Sheriff Truman wants me
to make a statement.

No way. Look, they can't force you
to testify against your husband.

All you gotta do is get Leo home,

sit and collect the checks.

Leo owes you, baby.

Now we can really make him pay.

You want something nice?
We can buy it.

You want to go someplace special,
sit in the sun?

It's on Leo. Understand?

I guess it would be nice
not to have to worry about money.

I have a lot of bills I have to pay.

Bills? Forget about bills.
I'm talking about a new way of life.

Together?

What do you think?

I think I wanna get comfortable.

That's why I got
my dad's Continental.

Mm.

Bobby Briggs,
I'm gonna eat you up.

Promise?

Just watch me.

Diane, I received
some very bad news today.

Windom Earle has vanished.

The disappearance
of my former partner

is extremely troubling.

I also learned that Audrey Horne
is missing.

Audrey's absence touches me
in ways I could not predict.

I find myself thinking not of clues
or of evidence

but of the content of her smile.

Who is it?

It's Major Briggs, Agent Cooper.

Just a moment.

- Major.
- May I come in?

Please.

I have a message for you.

From whom?

I'm not at liberty
to reveal the nature of my work.

This secrecy pains me
from time to time.

Any bureaucracy
that functions in secret

inevitably lends itself to corruption.

But these rules I have pledged
to uphold.

I believe a pledge is sacred.

Speaking as a man

and a fellow employee
of the federal government, so do I.

Well, I may reveal this much:

Among my many tasks

is the maintenance
of deep-space monitors

aimed at galaxies beyond our own.

We routinely receive
various communications,

space garbage,
to decode and examine.

They look something like this.

It's radio waves and gibberish,
Agent Cooper.

Till Thursday night.

Friday morning, to be exact.

Around the time that I was sh*t.

The readout took us by surprise.

Row after row of gibberish.

And all of a sudden...

"The owls are not what they seem."

Why did you bring this to me?

Because later in the morning...

"Cooper,

Cooper. Cooper."

My God.

That was really good.
Let's try it again.

Just you and I

Just you and I

Together

Forever

In love

Just you

Just you

- And I
- And I

- Just you
- Just you

And I

And I

Together

Forever

In love

In love

We go strolling together

In love

We go strolling forever

Oh

- Just you
- Just you

- And I
- And I

Just you and I

And I

Together

Forever

In love

Just you

And I

Just you

And I

Just you

And I

Just you

And I

Just you

Donna.

Donna, what's wrong?

Nothing.

Donna?

Donna, what's going on?

I'm trembling, James.

You made me.

Donna.

Donna?

Yes?

There's a telephone call for you
from a Harold Smith.

Oh, okay. I'll get it in the hallway.

Okay, Dad. I got it.

Okay, sweetheart.

Hello?

Mr. Smith?

I received yours.

I wanted to talk to you.

We can meet?

Okay.

The owls are not what they seem.

The owls are not what they seem.

Laura!

Laura!

Agent Cooper.

- It's me, Audrey.
- Audrey?

Where are you?

Why aren't you here?

Audrey, this is no time
for schoolgirl games.

I want you home now.

I saw you in your tuxedo.

You look like a movie star.

Audrey,
if you're in any kind of trouble...

I am in trouble,
but I'm gonna come home now.

Audrey? Audrey?

Trouble, Miss Horne?

You don't know what trouble is.

Not by a long sh*t.
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