05x11 - Chain Migration

[bunniefuu]

George Sr. had convinced his wife

to join him in their search
for a son...

Nobody's chasing him.
What's the big deal?

...who thought he'd broken out of prison.

Well,
we just want to find him

before he does something stupid.

Well, stupider.

- My left, your right.
- Your left, my right.

Although, it is the only way
to ride one of those...

We have to get these manacles off.
We have to find a hardware store.

...when you're chained to a guy.

- My right, your right.
- My right, my left.

I remember there's a hardware store...

my left, your right... or a Build-A-Bear

I used to go to, but that was,
like, let me think,

Justin Be-Bear is seven...

that was, like, seven years ago.

Your left, my right.

Why do you think
he'd be at the mall?

Well, the last time Buster ran away,
he came here.

And this is where his favorite stores are.

There's Drink-A-Juice
and there's Paint-A-Plate

and Build-A-Bear and...

Oh, there's a tiny train.

Now, admittedly, he's not 28 anymore,

- but...
- No, you're right.

But don't you think
he would've smelled me by now?

Oh, good point.
Maybe the Popcorn Plantation

is masking your scent.

Ooh, we gotta get you out
of the food court.

Now the story
of a wealthy family

who lost everything, and
the one son who had no choice

but to keep them all together.

It's Arrested Development.

Buster was missing,

and George Sr. was eager
to make it look like

- that was something he cared about...
- Oh, wow!

...in order to woo his wife.

Didn't I used to have one?

Yes, but it was real.

- ♪ Sugarfoot, Sugarfoot ♪
- That's what it was.

- Let's get one.
- Which is how Lucille

- thought of a way...
- Can you make one of those

from a wallet photo?

...to let Buster know

the authorities weren't after him

- and get a little dig in.
- Let's go.

♪ Sugarfoot... ♪

I have a better idea.

Why don't you just pick out
anything you want?

George, we should not
be spending money.

We owe it to the Chinese,
and if we don't get them their money,

they're going to be looking for us.

Well, I wouldn't worry
about that because I have Michael

at the Bluth Company

going through the books,
and he's gonna free up

some cash.

You have Michael looking
through our books?

Where he had recently
discovered and printed...

- A map.
- ...a very provocative piece of evidence.

There's only one way to find out.

And so, Michael set out
to get conclusive evidence

that his parents were building a wall.

Unfortunately, the speed of the printer

made it very clear why

Two Hour Teeth went out of business.

- Come on!
- Come on! Let's go.

Tobias and his family

were also playing a waiting game

during business hours
in the Tent City where they had found

- a new home.
- You know, if you add water

- to the freeze-dried ground beef...
- Shh.

...it tastes just as good
as any hamburger

- I've ever had underwater.
- Shh. That was meant to last

all week.

Oh. Oh, duh.

Damn. Well, you know what?

I saw a guy pushing a shopping cart
full of supplies in it.

That's what I'm talking about.
When he leaves it, I'll grab his cart.

But as it turns out,
Tobias had been squatting

- in the very chain store...
- Oh, it's right here.

...where his brother-in-law
was now trying

to repair a chain problem.

Yeah, I see the problem.

The leg chains are all mixed up
with the bike chain.

I could cut the bike chain

- if you want. We have a bolt cutter.
- Can't we untangle it?

It's a rental.

- Do you have time to wait?
- You know,

maybe we could check out
that popcorn place.

Am I crazy, or am I smelling popcorn
and Chanel No. 5 butter?

Can we go get some popcorn

and just leave the bike?

- I'd have to cut the leg chains.
- Leg chains? No.

These are stage manacles.
We were in a play.

Well, if they're from a play,

- they're probably not even locked.
- What?

Have you guys even tried, uh,
just unclamping?

Are you kidding me?

We didn't even check.

Ironically,
finding out they weren't shackled

was a bonding moment for the men.

That would've saved time
when we were trying

- to get the pants over our heads.
- What's good about this

is they're looking for two guys

who are manacled together
on the run.

- Ah.
- The Inside-Outside Bandits.

So are we saying that it's safer
to go our separate ways?

- Is that what you're saying?
- I guess so. But, I mean,

- where will you go?
- Well,

realistically I could
sniff out Mother somehow,

but she wouldn't want me.
Maybe I'm better in prison.

I'm no good on my own.

Look, I'm not... I'm not in a hurry to,
you know, go it alone.

I mean, if you want
to hang out, I mean...

- You mean it?
- Sure.

- Where would we go?
- Oh, I mean,

we like the same things. We could go

anywhere we want.
I mean, the most important thing

- is that we're outside.
- Inside.

- Outside.
- Inside.

- Hmm.
- Meanwhile,

another father-son team
had had just about enough

of their time together...

- Please be done.
- I think it's good.

...when the printing process
finally concluded.

- It is a wall.
- Oh, sh**t, know what?

We didn't uncheck
"Make Background Tongue."

I mean, why do they
even call it Two Hour Teeth?

And the Inside-Outside Bandits
found a solution...

- Feels like we're outside.
- It feels like we're inside.

...to their temperamental mismatch.

- Sort of meets all our needs.
- Yeah.

Are you hungry?
'Cause there's some dried food

out there that's still
technically everybody's.

You don't think we should wait
until the store closes?

I mean,
we're technically in their display.

Okay, here's what we do.

When I go out, you just be still,
and if anyone looks in,

you pretend like you're a mannequin.

- Can you do that?
- You're looking at a boy who faked a coma

for two weeks
to get out of a spelling bee.

As the final group
of the spelling bee

- makes its way to the stage...
- That was

to get out of testifying.

No, that was a three-month coma.

- Another no-show to testify...
- Hey, before I go,

if something happens out there,
and I get caught

and I don't come back,
I just want to tell you that...

this... this... being with you has been...

ah, it's been...

I cherish it.

My son.

All right, fine. Be that way.

Meanwhile,
Lucille had taken a phone call

from the Chinese investors...

...she was eager not to upset.

- Well, the Chinese want dinner with us.
- They're in town?

- They want to go over plans for the wall.
- Wait.

Did you tell them we don't have Lindsay?
We lost the election.

We can't catch a break on this.

It makes you not even want to do business
with a hostile nation.

They're gonna demand
their money, and...

Oh, this dinner is not going to be fun.

But being fun was something
George was eager to prove.

Know what looks like fun?
That tandem bicycle built for two.

- How much fun would that be?
- What are you, nuts?

I have to call the restaurant.

You call.
I'm gonna check out the Tent City.

They have tandem bikes.
Boy, would we have fun on that.

And that's when George Sr. did find
the more fun version of himself...

His brother, Oscar.

Hey.

I should've gone
to the Tent City in Santa Ana.

You have Buster
stashed away somewhere.

What do you mean, in a tent?

Are you gonna turn me in?

No one's chasing you, okay?
Buster's a free man. Here's proof.

They throw these in with the posters.

Actually, he's not technically free.

He still has to officially sign out
from prison and pay their $75 process fee.

So, hey, Daddy, you're the one paying.

Gee, I'm kind of sorry
my time with Buster has to come to an end.

- We're getting close.
- Tell me about it.

I'm trying to win back Lucille,
but it's a little tough right now.

I'm fighting against the competition.

What, is she dating?

No, I'm talking about Buster.

And we're really bonding over
this "we miss our son" bullshit.

Well, I'll tell you what.
You front me the $75 to sign him

out of prison, maybe we keep
this "Buster's on the run" charade

going a little longer.

And so a deal was made.

But before Oscar could even
not share the news with Buster

that they weren't on the run,

Tobias would not solve a mystery
he wasn't trying to solve himself.

Oh, sorry, wrong tent. I...

What am I doing, apologizing
to a mannequin that looks like...

- Buster?
- Oh, guys, keep it down.

I can hear you all the way in cano...

What are you doing here?

- Tobias?
- I live here.

- So do we.
- Oh, not for long.

Rumor has it they're gonna
knock down these tents

- and put in a Santa Ski Village.
- Wow.

Seems like we were just celebrating
the second of July.

We're already talking
about December 19.

Well, we're definitely
still on the run.

Too bad
we can't go back to Maeby's.

She had quite a sweet setup
over at the Spotted Palm.

My daughter has a place
at the Spotted Palm?

Yeah.

She should get better acquainted
with her sibling and mother impersonator.

No, you have to be 55 and older.

Well, that sounds like a challenge

to any family that wasn't
a ragtag troupe of folks

whom I wish to become actors.

As it turned out,
Tobias's daughter, Maeby,

had been playing a part herself,

although she was eager
to recast the love interest.

Hey, how we feeling?

Any better?

- I don't know.
- The doctor said

the headache should be gone at this point.

But I'm having trouble tracking time.

But I guess it's only been a day

- since the accident, right?
- Oh, my God.

I can't believe
you're asking me this again.

- Have I asked before?
- He hadn't.

- Every month.
- Oh, no. That can't be

- right.
- Right.

See? You always say "right."

I'm sorry, it's just, Stan,
we've gone over this so many times.

No, they hadn't.

In fact, this had only happened
a few hours earlier.

Oh.

- I must seem like a broken record.
- Old man.

You also always say "old man."

Listen, Stan,
this isn't easy for me to say.

I've let you stay here
because I felt responsible for...

coming in just as those two men

hit you over the head,
which you thought was me.

And it wasn't because I was just trying
to stop them, you know?

But before that,

we did end things between us.

I know, but maybe

there's some spark, there's some way
that we can rekindle,

now that I'm alone
and you're alone, and...

Right, we're alone.

I don't have two criminals to pin it on.

Maybe we can try again.

I was trying, Stan, okay?

It's over. It is over!

A real lady lets it itch.

- She doesn't jam two fingers...
- Voices up.

Hi, I'm Mrs. Featherbottom.

♪ Thank you for being a friend ♪

I'm Bev.

♪ Traveled down a road and back again ♪

And I'm Mrs. Bettywhite.

♪ Your heart is true
You're a pal and a confidant ♪

We're just three... 56-year-old women

looking for a place
to rest our weary asses.

Oh,.

Hello.

Back at the cottage,
George Sr. kept up the illusion

that he had no idea where Buster was.

I don't know about you,
but I'm... I'm so worried

that I can't keep looking anymore.

Me, too.
We have to take care of ourselves.

Why don't we just order some dinner in?
What do you think of that?

George, it's two o'clock. Go home.

I was thinking, it could be a, um, dry run
for tomorrow night's dinner

with the Chinese.
They're gonna be looking at us,

Lucille, very closely,
and we have to be a real team.

You know, in the Chinese culture,

a good marriage portends
a good business relationship.

I think I can eat a piece of fish
without giving away how I loathe you.

Whoops. Now, see?

It's those little inadvertent slips I fear

will come out tomorrow night
if we go in cold.

Well, then it's a good thing
I've asked my friend to stop by,

who happens to be an expert
on the Far East, as it turns out.

- Your friend, you don't...
- Oh, Dusty.

Have you ever met George,
my soon-to-be ex-husband?

- Ah.
- They had met,

when George, after a failed attempt

at ocean balling to impress his wife,

gerbilled up to the beach
that had been under the domain

- of a surf g*ng called...
- Get out of here!

- ...the Newport Bay Boys.
- Locals only!

What's your business on the beach, bro?

I'm, uh, visiting...

...visiting my wife, Lucille Bluth,
and I just...

- What?
- Yeah.

Well, that's why you look familiar.

I helped her take down
all your pictures.

You're Dustin Radler.

Out here, it's Dusty.

Sorry about the confusion, man.

Yeah, this beach
has always been known

as territory of the Newport Bay Boys.

Okay, uh, I'll just...
I'll find my way out of...

No, no, you're not using those steps.

Those steps are just
for the feet of the Bay Boys.

Get back in the ball, dude.

But I... I... I ca...

Okay. Could you tell Lucille, uh...

that I... I d*ed...

doing something that looked fun?

- Ay.
- The Bay Boy?

I ought to throw this guy out of here.

This is the g*dd*mn expert?
Because the only thing he's expert at

is getting sand out of his trunks

and pissing on another man's tree.

- And the law.
- And I play some guitar.

And I know a lot about Eastern culture,
too. I surfed in 'Nam.

- Oh, you served in Vietnam?
- Surfed.

I surfed in Vietnam.

Two group tours.

Picked up a lot, too. Mostly tchotchkes,
but some cultural elements, too.

He knows what he's talking about, George.

We went for sushi last night,
and he never touched his fork.

Well, a little bit for the rice.
It's the hard part.

But not when the guy was looking.

He didn't want
to insult the employees.

You know, with all these Asia-y cultures
and, uh, whatnot,

they all are interested in honor.

They all understand
that your opponent needs to save face,

for this is the only way you, yourself,

- will save face.
- Oh.

So, I just want to be clear with you.

If you think that I enjoy being put
in the position of ridiculing you,

intimidating you, emasculating you,

you're wrong, little guy.

- Could you...
- Wrong.

Could you excuse us for just one mom...
I'm gonna talk to my wife.

Yes. I will give you that respect.

Maybe I'll just go upstairs
and watch the big TV.

But someone else
would soon show up

who was tired of being emasculated.

Ah, of course.

I knew you would both be here.

Michael, finally.
We need this money.

So, uh, how's that going?
Did you... Did you find anything?

You could say that. Yeah.
You both wanted me to go look

at the books, but I guess you didn't think
that I was smart enough to find this.

This was a file on a computer drive
called "Gated Community."

- What is that?
- Don't play dumb.

- What's playing dumb?
- Stop it. You know exactly what this is.

This is a border wall

between Mexico and America.

That doesn't look like a mouth to you?

Well, you gotta get rid
of the tongue setting, and anyway,

but on a regular printer,
I have more than enough proof

that you guys are building a wall.

The wall, okay?

Between America and Mexico.

A wall, by the way,
that you once claimed

- to be on the other side of.
- No.

The property is
on the other side of the wall.

Th... That's all over now
because the Mexican Romney said

no refundo.

I mean, we can't even pay back
the investors.

They're Chinese.

There's Chinese Romneys?

No, the only Romneys
are the Mexican Romneys.

- Well, and the regular Romneys.
- Well, I mean, yes.

Obviously the... the regular Romneys,
but...

So you spent Chinese money
that you cannot return,

and you wanted me to look
in the books, so that I would

do the right thing for the family
and offer to sell off Sudden Valley?

The only thing that you cannot sell off
without me, right?

And then what,
you give the money to the Chinese?

We just wanted to tell them
where we were first going

to build a... a model wall, a prototype.

By that time,
there will have been the election,

and Hillary doesn't want a wall.

Yes, that is a good point.

I wish her voice weren't so grating.
Oh, that voice!

Shrillary.

You okay? Is everybody all right?

Yeah, we're fine. Go on.

- Go on upstairs.
- Right on.

I got an idea. Why don't you just try
being honest with the Chinese?

In what way?

You tell them the truth, Dad.

- What truth?
- You made a mistake.

You lost the money. You feel bad.

Nothing you can do.
You hope they understand.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Oh, good. You better figure it out,

'cause I'm not gonna let you
ruin the family again.

This generation.

They go to one therapy session,
and all of a sudden

their parents are "terrible people,"

because they once sold tract homes to...

God, who even remembers now?

S*ddam Hussein.

Yeah. So... I mean, something like that.

Michael's parents
weren't the only ones

using him for Sudden Valley,

as Oscar,
who was trying to convince Buster

they were still fugitives,

had agreed to move into the attic.

Are you sure nobody saw us get
in the truck once we found it?

Yeah, can you believe we finally
come across the getaway truck,

right after we find out
we're no longer, uh...

I mean, I hope not.

- Me, too. Me, too.
- It didn't help things

when your hand flew off
on the 405, but...

Well, it's probably behind the seat.

And did you notice that banner?

It said, "Welcome Home
From Prison Again, Buster."

I mean, it's like, did they expect me
to come home from prison?

Yeah. I think they were just being ironic.

- I mean, it's like a...
- Oh.

A not-surprise party.

Like if Buster was coming home,
he'd expect a surprise party,

so it wouldn't be a surprise.
Since he's in jail,

we're gonna throw a party and not tell
him since there won't be guests.

- Yep.
- Well,

I am surprised she went through
all that trouble.

- Oh, so I guess it worked.
- Mm-hmm.

But I hope this is okay for you.

- Oh.
- 'Cause it might be

a couple of months.

Oh, we're not gonna be up here
for a couple of months.

I mean, I can't do that.
I mean, that's... For me,

- that's, uh, pretty scary.
- No.

Because we're the Inside-Outside Bandits,

and the only thing
that scares us is not being safe and cozy.

A guy could have a mighty nice life
up here.

Do you...
You want us to die here together?

You're hungry.

I'll go downstairs
and get us some food.

- How does gummies sound?
- Necessary.

I don't get it.

But the model house
had another visitor.

Good, Buster. I saw your truck.

Glad you're here. Hey, uh...

So I'm gonna kind of need your help

with a little, uh, "magic trick" of sorts.

So, favor.

I cannot do you a favor, Gob.

I am on the lam. I escaped from jail.

Escaped. Yeah, I don't think so.

- They released you, Buster.
- No.

- Oscar freed me.
- I don't think so.

Uh, I think I'd know if I wasn't
on the lam.

I mean, unless he happened
to do that exactly

when I was released,
so I thought I was running,

- but... wasn't.
- Right.

But that would also be
what exactly what happened, but...

Yeah, but Oscar and I are living
in the attic.

I mean, that's because I'm a wanted man.

Impossible.
You weren't even a wanted child.

Which reminded Buster
of the poster

he'd seen earlier that day at the mall,

and which he now realized
had another meaning.

So no one's out there looking
for me?

But if that's true, I guess technically

now we don't have to live in the attic.

So I'll just go back to living
with George Sr. as my father,

and then Oscar can go back to his life
with... without me.

Well, that's good news for him, huh?

Please don't tell him.

He's... He's in my life now,
and... and I know it's not honest,

but I want to kind of keep that going
a bit longer.

Your secret is safe with me, Buster.

No strings attached.

- Aw.
- If...

you help me get rid of this big,
dead-body-shaped thing.

- What is it?
- I just told you, it's...

Mm.

It's from a magician friend.
It was part of his big...

his big final farewell disappearing act.

Need I remind you, Buster,
that as my one-time assistant,

you are still bound by the
magician's assistant oath.

Mm. Say no more.

- Bye, Oscar.
- I'm on the phone!

On the next Arrested Development...

Gob makes good on his second obligation
to the Gay Mafia,

by arriving
for heterosexual conversion therapy...

My name is Gob Bluth.
I'm here for a 12:30 un-gaying.

...determined to prove it doesn't work.

Hey, Gob. It's me, Ann's mother.

Who?

That's the one. So I just have
some papers for you to sign.

Just some legalese stating that
if you k*ll yourself

as a result of the therapy,
it's your fault, not ours.

Yeah. Boy, wish I could pray
that sweater away.

Unfortunately for Gob...

- Uh-oh.
- ...it works a little too well.

Oscar and Buster attempt
to keep each other in the dark...

We should keep an eye out
for cops.

I'm watching out for cops.

...but can't resist a non-gummy dinner.

So where should we go out?

- There's a Coco's by the beach.
- Oh...

There's a Coco's in town.

Let's do it.

Although Buster decides
to run an errand

for his brother on the way.

Just dropping off something
for Gob.

It'll take me a second!

But unfortunately for Buster...

Return from whence... you came.

...he does so from

a long-thought-missing piece
of evidence.

Hey, the stairs on our getaway truck
are pretty sticky.

I wonder if there's, like,
a really tall car wash around here.

Oh, yeah. I... I noticed there's
a blood-like substance back there.

But that's a tomorrow job.
That's for the daytime.