06x20 - Epiphany

[bunniefuu]

A mother protected her son.

Here in America,
we actually get divorced

- before we get married again.
- I will explain it all away.

Your father told me
you called off the wedding.

Evil came to Wisteria lane.

- Susan, how is she?
- We don't know yet.

- Nobody's talking to us.
- It struck again...

- Can't believe she's dead.
- I didn't know her

but I guess we're
sorta connected now.

- You would've liked her.
- And fear set in.

Whoever att*cked Julie
is still out there.

There is obviously a
madman on the loose.

The stage was set...

I'm a little out of your league,
don't you think?

For the k*ller...

What are you doing?

To strike again.

There is a house
in the town of Fairview.

Inside this house lives a monster...

The kind who kills young women.

You may ask how such
a monster came to be,

and that's a very
good question, indeed.

I'm out of scotch.

I'll buy you some more
while I'm out.

You got any in your room?

No. And stay out of there.

I know you've been
stealing my booze.

Stop being so paranoid.
I don't even drink.

- Sure you don't.
- I gotta help Mrs. Scavo fix her car.

You can wait a little while, right?

His name was Eddie.

Everyone thought he was harmless...

Until the day his mother
went into his room.

She was just looking
for a bottle of scotch...

But found the truth instead.

Soon everyone
in town would be asking,

"How could such a monster
come to be?"

Sadly, the answer...

Would satisfy no one.

I met Eddie on a Monday.

He had just turned 4.

If you're smart,
you'll take up jogging now.

Don't wait till you're my age.
It's too late.

- I can't do anything!
- At this point I'd settle for anything.

Do the dishes. Wipe down the counter.
You've given up!

- I'm doing the best I can.
- What's going on in there?

You know what?
I don't need this crap. I am done!

Baby, I said I was sorry!

- Too late. I can't take it anymore.
- But you can't walk out.

- We have a kid!
- No, you have a kid.

I never wanted him.
I never wanted any of this!

Excuse me!

- Is this your child?
- What's it to you?

I'm sure you don't want to be
talking like this in front of him.

- I was just leaving.
- Hank, don't do this!

Don't leave me here.

I don't want to be alone.

Eddie, come here.

Come here,
I have to get ready for work.

It's you.

I just wanted to check in,

see how you guys are doing.

Also, I made you a little something.

You're kidding.

It's nothing special,
just macaroni and cheese.

Come on. Let me heat
this up for you.

- I don't know.
- And then we can talk.

And if you want to complain
about your husband, I promise,

I won't defend him.

Don't just stand there, then.

Come on in.

He's a handsome little boy.

Looks just like his father...

which is a shame.

Maybe Hank will reconsider.

He's serious this time.

I'm all alone
with a 4-year-old to raise.

Isn't there anybody
who can help you?

- Family, your mother?
- My mother.

God forbid.

What about friends?

I have a great group of friends
over on Wisteria lane.

We've helped each other
get through all sorts of problems.

I've never really been the
type of woman to have girlfriends.

And now

I'm 35 years old with a kid.

I'm guessing I'm not really going
to be having any boyfriends either.

Don't be ridiculous.
Women in your situation find love.

You just have to look for it.

- I guess.
- Well, I've gotta go.

If you like,
I can stop by next week.

You don't have to do that.
We'll be fine.

Eddie, say good-bye to Mary Alice.

- Good-bye.
- You take care, Eddie.

So cute.

He's gonna be
a heartbreaker one day.

Just like his father.

Hi, Eddie.

Remember me?

I brought you a little something.

I'm not supposed to open the door.

Tell your mom I'm here,
and she can open it.

She's not here.

Well, tell your babysitter then.

You do have a sitter, don't you?

Eddie, where exactly is your mother?

Oh, my gosh!
What are you doing here?

Look, it's my friend, Mary Alice.

Nice to meet you, Mary.

The name's Ron.
Can I buy you a drink?

Thanks, but I'm not gonna be here
that long. Get up. You're leaving.

She can't leave yet.
This party's just getting started.

Did you say your name was Ron?

Shut up, Ron.
I have Eddie in my car.

Has something happened?
He's not hurt, is he?

- He's fine, no thanks to you.
- Who's Eddie?

Her 4-year-old child
who she left at her home, unattended.

You got a kid?

You might wanna lead
with that next time,

before I spring for
the screwdrivers.

Don't you wanna get my phone number?

Look at what you've done.

I am this close
to calling social services.

You might wanna change your tone.

Let's go.
You've got a little boy to look after.

I know I should have stayed home.

But I was already dressed
when the sitter canceled,

and I really just needed
a couple of hours to myself.

He's 4 years old, Barbara.

What if he had gotten sick?
What if he had hurt himself?

I know.
It was really stupid.

You've got to promise me
you will never

- do something like this again.
- Never again.

I swear.

It's just...

What?

I really need a man.

My heavens. I should
have been home hours ago.

Don't worry about us.
We are good now.

I want you to be happy,
Barbara. I do.

It's just...

Being a mother means

always putting his needs
ahead of yours.

You're right.

That's exactly what it means.

Come here.

It's not your fault
you ruined my life.

Gabrielle met Eddie on a Tuesday,

The day she moved
into the neighborhood.

Carlos, I'm bored.

I can't go get my nails done, because
I'm waiting for the freaking movers!

Besides, I doubt this town
even has a SPA.

It does, have annoying people who come
to your house with welcome baskets

and say things like,
"Hot enough for you?"

No! You are not
going into another meeting!

Just because I moved here
for your job, doesn't mean you...

Damn right we're
gonna talk about this tonight,

and it will be hot enough for you.

Looks like it's just
you and me, Chanel.

Who the hell are you?

- How did you get in here?
- Through the window.

- How did you get in?
- With my key. I own this place.

I've been playing here since the other
people moved. Can I still do that?

Get out. Go home.

Did you know
you're really beautiful?

Okay,
maybe I was a little rude earlier.

- What's your story? What do you do?
- I'm a kid.

- Right. So why aren't you in school?
- It's summer.

Right. Well,
I don't really do the kid thing.

So, where do you live?

A couple of streets over.

The house with the weeds.

That's the moving van that
has a lot of boxes I have to unpack.

You better hit the road.

Or I could stay here
and help you unpack.

Follow me.

You missed a spot.

- Sorry.
- Don't apologize.

You do good work. Maybe next time
you'll be ready to do a French tip.

Should I get that?

Keep your voice down.
It might be one of those Stepford wives

with another "Welcome to
the neighborhood" cake.

Does it look like I eat cake?

Some of the neighbors are nice.

That lady with the red hair
makes her own Halloween candy.

The one whose parents
named her after cheese?

No, thank you. I like my robots
a little more lifelike.

Though she's not as bad as that blonde
chick who's always yelling at her kids.

There are people on fire
who are not as loud as she is.

And then I thought,
maybe for a second,

that Susan Mayer lady and I
could friends.

And then she started talking.

Good. I think they're gone.

Can we watch our shows now?

Just as soon as you finish unpacking
those boxes in the kitchen.

I did it this morning.

If you can sew, I am locking you
in my basement,

- and you are staying here forever.
- Cool!

Eddie, I was kidding.

You've been coming here
every day for a week.

Doesn't your mother mind?

Are you sure?
Maybe I should call her.

She has this new boyfriend,
and they like their alone time.

Then why don't you
stay for dinner? I'll cook.

- Great!
- Although, you are the one who

unpacked the pots and pans, so,
I'd hate to mess up your system.

I'll cook.
I can heat up soup.

More than I can do.

Yao Lin, how sick are you, really?
If you can dial a phone,

you can come in and do three loads
of laundry and wash some dishes.

You know I can't understand when
you speak in your native gibberish!

Surprise, babe.

What are you doing home?

I was at work and I started
thinking about my lonely...

beautiful wife.

And that big beautiful bathtub
upstairs we haven't christened yet.

You pig.

So you're saying you don't
wanna take a bath with me?

I guess the pans can wait until Yao Lin
recovers from her double pneumonia.

All right.
We've done the tub.

Maybe we should christen
the guest room next.

That sounds great,
but I need to get going.

Wait a minute. You're going back
to work? This is a nooner?

I can't take the whole day off.
I already canceled

- two meetings and a lunch for this.
- So how long do we have?

Five more minutes.

Don't just sit there.
Fondle something.

What the hell? Who are you?

- You know this kid?
- He lives in the neighborhood.

I knocked. No one answered.
So I came through the window.

We're naked. Get out!

She told me I could come over.
Who's this guy?

He's my husband, Eddie! Get out!

This is how you've been
spending your days?

- He's lonely. I'm lonely.
- There are women on this street

- you can be friends with.
- They're all so weird.

Your best friend is a 9-year-old boy.
That's weird.

He has no one in his life.
His mother totally ignores him.

I'm thinking of going over
there and saying something.

Stay out of it.

This is where we live now, I don't want
us to be known as the nosy neighbors.

- But he's so sad.
- I don't care.

Stop using him as your excuse.
Cut him loose

and get out there and
start making a life for yourself.

Buddy?

Edie, I'm sorry
Carlos yelled at you.

It's just...
we were cleaning the tub.

I know what sex is.
I'm not stupid.

No, you're not,

which is why you should know you can't
just break into people's houses.

It was okay when I was
unpacking your boxes.

Look, Eddie, I really like you.

But the thing is,

we can't hang out so much anymore.

I need to make friends my age,
and you need to make friends your age.

You know what?
You're not so pretty.

Bree hired Eddie to
help out on a Wednesday,

and she helped him in return.

It's looking wonderful, Eddie.

Same time tomorrow?

Sure, Mrs. Hodge.

I think you gave me too much.

Call it a bonus for a job well done.

You don't need to do this.

I'm sure you could
use a little extra cash.

Do you have a girlfriend? Mayber
you could buy her something nice.

I don't have a girlfriend.

You're still young.

It wouldn't matter how old I am.

Girls never notice me.

Did it ever occur to you that they might
be waiting for you to notice them?

Are there any girls that you like?

There is this one girl at school.

Do you ever talk to her?

See? She has probably
noticed you lots of times

and wonders why you don't
walk up to introduce yourself.

I wouldn't even know what to say.

- Does she have nice eyes?
- She has nice everything.

You can start
by mentioning her eyes.

Trust me. You can never go wrong
with a genuine compliment.

This is good stuff.
Anything else?

Once you have her attention,
you've gotta woo her.

- Woo?
- Yes. Give her a little gift

so she knows that you're
thinking about her.

Flowers are nice.

Roses are even better.

And then eventually,

you can work your way up to jewelry.

I can't afford all that.

Now you can.

Excuse me.

Are you Eddie Orlofsky's mother?

- Who's asking?
- Bree Hodge.

Your son has been doing some painting
for me over on Wisteria Lane.

You're not the woman who has sex
with her gardeners, are you?

Good heavens, no. That's...

somebody else.

May I please speak to Eddie?

He's not here.

Then maybe you can help me.

A few weeks ago, I gave Eddie some
advice on how to talk to girls.

I'm glad someone did.
The kid is a lummox.

What I didn't realize is that

the object of his affection
is my daughter Danielle.

He gave her roses and then
more roses, and then I found

this in my mailbox.

Big spender.

Just like his dad.

It was a lovely gesture.

Sadly, Danielle doesn't return his
feelings. She spends most of her time

- with the other cheerleaders...
- Say no more. She's out of his league.

- That's not what I mean.
- You want me to talk to him?

Yes. If you could
just say something to

- let him down easy.
- You got it.

What's going on?

This lady says
you've been stalking her daughter.

- I didn't say that.
- You said he is harassing some girl

he has no chance with.
What the hell else do you call that?

I was trying to woo her.

Woo her?

My God. That's hysterical.

There's no need to mock him.

Who is mocking? I am thrilled.

I always figured the only girl
he'd end up with would be

blind, deaf or inflatable.

But now that I know
how good he is at wooing...

Please don't laugh at me.

I'll do what I want, Romeo.

And don't worry.

I'll make sure he stops
hassling your daughter.

I'm sorry.

It's been a few days.
I wasn't...

sure if I'd be seeing you again.

I didn't wanna come back,
but I needed the money.

No, I don't blame you
for being angry.

I don't wanna talk about this.

I wish you had told me that Danielle
was the girl you were interested in.

Right, then you could have told me
that she was out of my league

- and saved my mom the trouble.
- I wouldn't have said that,

and I definitely
wouldn't have laughed at you.

Why not?

It's pretty funny.

Nerdy freak wants to date
popular cheerleader?

The only thing I see
when I look at you

is a nice young man, who isn't treated
as well as he should be.

Tell Danielle she can relax.

I won't be talking to her
anymore. I've been forbidden.

Danielle would be happy
to talk to you, as a friend.

I don't want a friend.
I want someone to love me.

Well, of course you do.

I think I...

I wanna work now.

There is someone out there for you.

You just have to be patient.

For how long?

I feel like I'm waiting for someone
who's never gonna show up.

There are girls out there
who will say "yes" to you.

You just have to find them.

Yes.

It's half up front and half after.

So where do we go?

Down there.

Don't worry, cutie.

No one's gonna see us.

You can do whatever you want.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I forgot something.

I got you these.

Please don't laugh at me.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Let's just go.

Susan first noticed Eddie

as the boy who sold her coffee.

Then one Thursday,

she noticed something more.

That's amazing.

- I didn't know you were an artist.
- I was just... I'm fooling around.

- What can I get you?
- No, let me see it.

Look at the shadowing
and the blending.

It's really good.

My mom thinks I'm wasting my time.

She says there's lots of people
way better than me.

You tell your mom that I have
an expensive, worthless art degree

that says I know what I'm taking about,
and you have huge potential.

You think?

You just need to work
on your technique.

I could help if you want.

Seriously?

That'd be great. Thanks.

Okay, whatever you want...
on the house.

I'll have a large,
triple-sh*t latte.

That's funny. Your husband
was in here earlier,

- and that's exactly what he ordered.
- Actually, he's...

now my ex-husband.

- I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
- No. It's fine. We've all moved on.

Mike's dating the woman that lives
across the street now, and I'm...

adding a double chocolate
brownie to my order.

We're all very happy.

Well, if it makes you
feel any better,

I'm sure a lot of people
would like to date you.

You have huge potential, too.

Brownie.

Right.

Eddie, the detail is amazing.
Your use of perspective....

I can't believe you've come
so far in just a few weeks.

Well...

I had a really good teacher.

That's sweet.

But actually, I think
that you've outgrown me,

which is why
I have a surprise for you.

What?

I signed you up for a 2-week seminar
at the Art Institute.

Before you say you can't afford it,
I already wrote the check.

This is, like, the nicest thing
anybody's ever done for me.

- But I can't go.
- Why not?

My mom would never let me.
I mean, she thinks

- this whole art thing is stupid.
- You can't let her do this to you.

You have such a gift.

Listen to me.

When you love something that much,
you can't just let it go.

That kind of love is the one thing
that keeps us going,

whether it makes sense
to anyone else or not.

This is just about the only thing
that makes me happy.

Then to hell
with the rest of the world.

Are you there? It's me, Eddie.

Come on in! I'll be right down.

Hey, those art classes were amazing!

The first three days, they had us do
nothing but portraits from memory.

And then they brought us down
to the beach to do seascapes.

I've got so much to tell you!

Me, too.

Why are you wearing that?

I'm getting married.

- To who?
- Mike.

But he divorced you.

- He made you so unhappy.
- He did.

But then this madman kidnapped MJ,
and so I went after him,

and then Mike came after us,
and he saved us both.

So we fell back in love.

This doesn't make any sense.
It's so quick.

I know.

Are those éclairs?

They look messy. Get them away.

So, yeah, it is quick.

I can't believe in

two hours,
I'm gonna be marrying Mike.

And promising him
I'll be with him forever...

for the second time.
I have zero credibility.

Look at me.

I don't know
if I'm gonna make it down the aisle.

Are they chocolate?
No, I don't wanna know.

- Don't do it.
- They just smell so good.

I mean the wedding.
If you're not sure, don't marry Mike.

I booked the church,
I bought the dress.

I have to marry somebody.

You could marry me.

I have some money saved up.

Okay, you almost got me.

You are so sweet.

You saw that I was freaking out and
you knew that I needed a good laugh.

I don't know
what I'd do without you.

I have to finish getting ready.
Come to the church if you want.

What the hell?

I can always use my bouquet
to cover the stain.

By the power vested in me,

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

You may kiss your bride.

I was just getting some coffee.
How sweet of you to visit.

Well, it's the first day that
they allowed non-family members.

I still can't believe it happened.

I keep asking myself,
how can there be

this kind of evil in the world?

What kind of monster
would do this to her?

It wasn't a monster.

No, monsters are big and strong.

This was done by some
weak, insignificant

piece of garbage that doesn't even
deserve to be on this earth.

Anyone who could do this to someone
as sweet as Julie and you...

He should just
do everyone a favor and just...

k*ll himself.

Anyone that could do this...

is too cowardly for that.

You're right.

It was during a Friday
night game of charades

that Lynette was clued in
to the truth of Eddie's life.

Three words.
Third word. Third word.

You. You.

Pregnant. Bloated.

Swollen. Huge.

- Lady, Tom. I'm a lady.
- No talking.

Better than hitting.

Du Barry was a lady.

Three times a lady.

- Tramp and the Lady?
- No. My Fair Lady!

Yes. Yes!

Tramp and the lady. Really?

Coming!
It's not easy

when you're swollen,
bloated and huge.

Where's my kid?

Hey, Barbara. He's in here with us.
You want to come in?

No.

Get out here.

- What are you doing here?
- Why didn't you answer your phone?

That was probably our fault.

We were playing charades,
and you know how loud that can get.

I guess my invitation
got lost in the mail.

- You gotta come home.
- It's not even 8:00, mom.

- I don't care.
- I'm having fun.

You should have thought about that
before you hid my stuff.

- I didn't hide it.
- Everything okay?

- It's nothing.
- Yeah, he hides my booze.

And then acts all ashamed
when I call him on it.

I know you hid it,
you little bastard.

Mrs. Scavo, it's okay. It's okay.

Mom, come on. I'll walk you home.

I don't think you should talk
to your son that way.

What do you care? Huh?
What is he, your pet project?

You feed him a little dinner,
Lynette, and then you

let him play your stupid games
so you can feel good about yourself?

I got your number.

I'm out of scotch.

I'll buy you some more
while I'm out.

Got any in your room?

No. And stay out of there.

Hi, Mrs. Scavo.
I'm here to fix your car.

You are so sweet
to remember this. Thank you.

So...
how are things at home?

Are the tools in the garage?
I should probably get started.

- We got any cake left?
- I'm not sure.

You okay?

I don't know. I keep
thinking about last night.

Yeah, me, too.

And I'm just so...

livid.

That Barbara
is an infuriating woman.

I am livid at us...

the way she talked to Eddie
and we did nothing.

I know. But we can't force her
to be nice to her own kid.

That's what everybody always says.

But we all know the woman
is a drunken nightmare.

We complain about her,
we gossip about her,

and then we watch her
walk into that house,

where we know
something bad is happening.

But we do nothing.

Well...

I'm tired of being one of the people
who does nothing.

Eddie is an adult now and
he can leave whenever he wants.

He's probably so damaged,
he doesn't know how to leave.

Where are you going with this?

Ma, I'm back from the store.

What is that?

Your scrapbook.

I don't understand, Eddie.

There are all these
newspaper articles in here,

about girls in Fairview
who've been...

strangled or m*rder*d.

Why would you collect this stuff?

Don't just look down at your feet.

You gotta tell me the truth, okay?

Did you have anything to do with...

hurting those girls?

How could you do
something like this? Oh, God.

I didn't raise you to...
to be like this.

Didn't you?

What is that supposed to mean?
This is my fault?

You're upset.

Why don't you sit back down
and have something to drink?

You're gonna try
to blame this on me.

No way.

Screw you.

- What are you doing?
- What do you think I'm doing,

- you moron? I'm calling the police!
- Don't do that. Put that down.

I always said the worst mistake I ever
made in my life was having you.

- Perfect timing.
- Mrs. Scavo, what are you doing here?

Are you okay?
Oh, my gosh, you're trembling and...

- I'm just... I was on my way out.
- Then I'll make this quick.

Tom and I have been talking, and...

we would like it
if you would move in with us.

I know it's a big change, but
you've gotta get out of here, Eddie.

This isn't a healthy situation.

I guess it could be better.

Is she passed out?

This is what I'm talking about.
This is why you need to get out of here.

I mean, look at her...

dead drunk.

I'll come live with you.

Great. So just pack your bags
and come on over.

I hope you like meat loaf.

You want me to come in and help you,
or do you want me to come back later

- to talk to her?
- Believe me, Mrs. Scavo,

she wouldn't hear a word.

There is a house
in the town of Fairview.

Inside this house lives a monster...

The kind who kills women.

You may wonder

how a monster like that came to be.

The answer is simple...

Monsters are created...

by other monsters.