05x09 - Lamentations

[bunniefuu]

- [SNARLING]
- [SCREAMING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

- Winnie, what are you doing?
- Leave Helen alone!

- Get...
- sh*t!

- Get off her!
- Get off her, get off her!

Get off of her!

Jesus Christ! Now!

Now!

- [SNARLS]
- [SCREAMS]

[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, I'm going to die!

[SCREAMING]

♪ ♪

[WHIMPERS]

♪ ♪

[GASPS]

[GROWLS]

♪ ♪

Oh, thank God.

She's completely lost her mind,

I mean... what are you doing?

♪ Oh, but, dear, the sky is low, watch ♪

- All right.
- Everybody, back in the van.

- Come on, come on.
- Just step in.

- Is there a minute I can...
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Your energy is a little bit hostile.

- If you could just...
- Watch your head.

- Heard it, like an animal...
- So scary!

I hope Winnie's okay.

I'm pretty sure that she has the flu.

I'll have you step up in, please.

- Hey! Don't push me!
- Don't push him!

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Don't push me!

- All right.
- Is this all of you?

- Yeah.
- Yes, sir.

Where is your queen?

We don't know, officer.

Oh!

We got the crazy one
detained in our car.

They say she ate two old people,

but we can't find any trace
of the bodies anywhere.

I think they're all f*cking nuts.

Well, let's head back to the city.

Follow us.

Welcome aboard the Tunnel Access .

The door is closing.

Officer Brentline and
Officer Sweetapple,

it feels like you want
to go to New York City

Police precinct number .
Did I get that right?

- Yes.
- Sorry, you need to speak up.

- Can you please repeat?
- Yes!

Please, speak confidently,
so we register your answer.

- Yes!
- Jesus Christ!

f*cking beta-version bullshit.

I heard everybody on the force

who got one was bitching about it.

- [SNARLS]
- Shut up back there!

[QUIET GROWLING]

[SOMBER MUSIC]

♪ ♪

I don't want to go to jail.

I think jail would be quite joyful.

- But I just got reborn.
- I want to go out.

Elliott, where the hell
are Dory and Drew?

BOTH: ♪ When the moon
is in the Seventh House ♪

♪ And Jupiter aligns with Mars ♪

Drew, I love your singing voice!

- Thank you!
- I do, too!

I've always wanted to pursue it.

I goof around with it

because I've been too afraid to,
you know, lean in.

Well, once we give these pills to people

and the world is finally at peace,

you can spend the rest
of your days singing!

That is so true!

- And you know why?
- Why?

- Because...
- BOTH: ♪ This is the dawning

♪ Of the age of Aquarius ♪

♪ The age of Aquarius ♪

♪ Aquarius ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Aquarius ♪

- [SHRIEKING]
- [GASPS]

- What's wrong?
- Do you want to explain this?

Are these birds evil?

Hello?

- Okay.
- I'm sorry, Liquorice.

Once again,
I don't know why you're mad at me.

"Jack Hallwood feeds
birds at the age of ."

- Does that not alarm you at all?
- Lower your voice.

Sometimes it just takes me a second

to catch up to your wisdom.

Jack Hallwood, son of
Chantal Witherbottom

and John Hallwood.

What does this mean?

- It means you're a slut!
- Okay.

Okay, so you're saying
that this -year-old man

is my son with that child?

The point is you cheated on me!

- No, I didn't, I swear.
- Not yet, at least.

But you will and this proves it!

- Okay, you know what?
- I will not apologize

for something I have not done.

Do you understand what I'm
talking about here, Chantal?

The end of the world is
just one condom away.

- Okay, I will wear a condom.
- Is that what you want to hear?

- It's too late for that.
- Do you know what's coming?

Cannibals! Flames!

Total annihilation! Ah!

[GRUNTING]

- [GROANING]
- [SIGHS]

- You're faking it.
- Ah!

Okay, I am not falling for it.

[SCOFFS]

If you think I'm calling an ambulance,

you've got another thing coming.

[GROANS]

[LAUGHS] Baloney.

[SIGHS]

You don't think it was

the pill that made Winnie sick, do you?

- What?
- [SCOFFS]

No, El. That would be, like...

an extreme reaction, wouldn't it?

Well, this is what happens
when things go untested.

- [METALLIC THUD]
- Oh!

- What the hell was that?
- [THUDDING CONTINUES]

- Oh, my God.
- Aah!

Officers, I think

there's something wrong with the car.

Oh, something's loose and
flapping around up there.

- All right, all right.
- I'll pull over.

[GROWLS]

Hey, we've gotta pull over for a second

to check some sh*t.

- Copy.
- Pull over.

A pullover is a garment worn
on the top half of the body.

Do you accept this definition?

- I accept.
- Pull over the car.

- Pulling over.
- Thank you.

[MUFFLED COUNTRY MUSIC]

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God!
- Oh!

♪ ♪

Oh, my God...

What the hell?

Okay...

- Ooh!
- [ALL SCREAMING]

- What's going on?
- Mike!

- Ow!
- Ow!

- Ah!
- [SHRILL SHRIEKING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

I think there's, like,
a hawk or a condor up there!

[DISTANT SCREAMING]

- Oh, holy sh*t.
- What is that?

It's a lady?

It's... it's a lady eating them!

[ALL SHRIEKING]

♪ ♪

[SCREAMING]

- Open door!
- I'm sorry.

Please speak with resolve.
We didn't get that.

- Open door!
- Open door!

Open door policy

is a term used to refer

to when a supervisor

leaves their office door open

in order to encourage transparency

within the company's community.

- Do you accept this as a...
- No!

No! Open the door!

- You said, "Open door."
- [SCREAMING]

Oh. Ooh.

Oh!

[SCREAMS]

Is that Helen?

[ALL SCREAMING]

- Oh, good Lord!
- Oh!

It's so freaky!

Kick the door open!

[ALL SCREAMING]

♪ ♪

[ALL SHOUTING INDSTINCTLY]

Go, go, go!

[ALL SHRIEKING]

We're closed.

It's all broken! [PANICKED CHATTER]

[GROWLS]

[PANICKED CHATTER CONTINUES]

Open up that door!

- Open this door!
- Oh!

[ALL SCREAMING AND PLEADING]

[SHRIEKING]

Go, go, go, go, go!

♪ ♪

[BOTH SNARLING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[PANICKED CHATTER]

♪ ♪

Dory, there's hundreds
of people camped outside

of Lyte Headquarters,
like, grieving you.

- What?
- Look.

ALL: ♪ Enlightenment, enlightenment ♪

♪ It's coming and it's coming ♪

♪ And it's coming right now ♪

♪ Enlightenment, enlightenment ♪

They still believe in the cause.

Then that's who should get it first.

We go there, and we
distribute what we have,

and the whole world will change.

How's that grilled cheese, sugar?

- Oh, my God.
- It is so, so good.

Like, what did we do to
deserve grilled cheese?

[LAUGHTER]

- Okay.
- You sound like me.

It is scrumdiddly-dum-dumcious, though.

[LAUGHS]

[ALL SNARLING]

They're going to
break the f*cking glass!

- They can't.
- It's bulletproof.

- Why would it be bulletproof?
- Because I'm mafia.

Might as well say it.

- What is going on?
- What is happening?

Look at Helen!

She looks sick just like Winnie.

- Okay, okay, everyone.
- Okay, everyone.

Don't be mad at me!

But last night,
I switched the enlightenment jelly beans

for real jelly beans,
and I think I accidentally left

some of the enlightenment
jelly beans in there,

and that's what Winnie must have taken.

And it turned her into that thing?

I mean, unless she has a crazy period

or something, I don't know.

Wait, so I'm not enlightened?

I mean, you could be, sweetie,

but it's probably just
from your own inner work.

- Oh, my God!
- Marty, you're bleeding.

- Oh, gosh.
- [GAGS]

I guess I'll need a Band-Aid, right?

[TENSE MUSIC]

- No!
- sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

- We have to isolate him!
- Why?

Marty, have you been paying attention?

Because you've bitten,

and you're gonna turn into a zombie.

- Just get out!
- Can't you k*ll him?

Aren't you mafia or something?

My role is more like the gossip.

- Okay, a zombie?
- Okay, you guys sound insane.

That's so clearly not
what's happening right now.

Like, I've seen this all
the time at music festivals.

They're just dehydrated.

[SNARLING]

- [ALL SCREAMING]
- Oh, my God!

You're gonna clean that up.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

[WAILING]

- Hey, everyone.
- In here, serious, quiet!

[HISSING]

, what's your emergency?

- Zombies.
- Oh, my God.

Excuse me,
did you for real just say zombies?

Uh-huh.

What happened to Elodie and Leonora?

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

[SNARLING]

[VIDEO GAMES CHIMING]

What was that?

- [SNARLS]
- [PANICKED GASPING]

He's in here.

The police will be here any minute.

It's going to be okay. We'll be saved.

I'm really glad I didn't get
emotionally attached to anyone

who has thus far turned into a zombie.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

I just realized
something that's actually

- kind of really very bad.
- What?

So Winnie ate the jelly bean
and turned into a zombie.

Yeah.

Dory has the rest of the jelly beans.

Yeah?

Didn't she say she was
gonna pass them out

to as many people as she possibly could?

Oh, God.

That would be, like, really bad, right?

What if that's what Drew and
Dory are doing right now?

- We have to do something.
- But I don't want to.

I don't want to either,
but I think that this thing is,

like,
actually spreading really f*cking fast.

She's right.

The R-Naught on
this thing is disastrous,

and I don't want to do the math,

but the aggressive nature of this

is likely to significantly
reduce the population.

Oh, God.

We have to stop it.

- You're right.
- Are y'all psycho?

You can do whatever you want,

but I'm going to stay right here

until the authorities
come and fix everything.

I'll come with you.

I feel really bad that
I created this formula.

[TENSE MUSIC]

[DISTANT SNARLING]

♪ ♪

Follow me.

♪ ♪

- [HISSES]
- [GASPS]

♪ ♪

Go back in. Go back, go back,

go back, go back.

♪ ♪

We'll go in the go-karts and
ride those back to Brooklyn.

The only problem is that the go-karts

are on the other side of this place.

- Okay, okay.
- You ready? You ready?

- We've got this.
- Yes. Yes.

- You people are nuts.
- There are literal zombies.

Let the people with the proper
training handle the situation.

You're going to get yourselves k*lled.

- Shh!
- Pepper, stop.

♪ ♪

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

[MOUTHING INAUDIBLY]

[WHISPERING] Go.

♪ ♪

I want to get out of here.

I think they're gone.

- I'll check.
- Be careful.

[BALLS RATTLING]

- Yeah, okay, let's go.
- Get up.

- [GASPS]
- [GROWLS]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

- [SNARLING]
- [SCREAMING]

Okay.

They're going to be here any second now.

No need to be scared.

[DOOR THUMPS]

[WHIMPERS]

[DOOR RATTLING]

♪ ♪

This can't be the right way.

Why would there be
an exit in the laser tag?

Okay, I squatted in
the laser tag for a week

shortly after coming out, just trust me.

- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Portia, shh.

- There's a zombie in here.
- Shh right now, shh.

Be quiet, Portia.

♪ ♪

- [GASPS]
- What?

- It's okay.
- It's nothing, it's nothing.

- Oh, my God.
- It's nothing, just...

Okay. Okay, okay.

Okay, there's an exit.

- [ROARING]
- [SCREAMS]

- [SCREAMS]
- [PANICKED CHATTER]

- Oh, my God, oh, my God!
- [SCREAMING]

Oh, no!

Get off of my f*cking friend!

[SCREAMS]

- Oh, my God!
- Get the...

- sh*t!
- Close the door!

[PANICKED CHATTER]

- Go, get it, go!
- They're coming!

Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe!

- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God, no!

- Come on!
- Drive!

Oh, my God, make it go! Make it go!

- I don't know how!
- I don't know how!

No! No! No! No!

- Oh, my God!
- Push the gas!

[BOTH SHOUTING]

Make it go, God damn it!

♪ ♪

- No!
- Please!

Please! Close doors!

Close doors!

Please speak with a kinder tone.

Close doors, please!

[SNARLING]

- We're going to die!
- Okay, I got it!

- [SCREAMS]
- Whoo-hoo!

- Oh, my God, go!
- Go!

Come on, come on, come on!

- Oh, no!
- It still doesn't go!

Come on!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

- Oh, my God!
- Go faster!

- Oh, my God!
- Whoo!

The midtown women's morgue in Manhattan

has been quarantined this morning

due to an unnamed contagious outbreak.

The building has been sealed,
and the block evacuated

as authorities attempt
to contain the spread.

Details about the disease
are being withheld,

for the time being,

so please make sure to
stay clear of that area.

- Oh, no, scary.
- Yeah.

It'll be fine.

It seems like they
have it under control.

- Yeah. Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- This was incredible.
- [CHUCKLES]

Hi, are you Mrs. Liquorice Montague?

- I am, yeah.
- Hi. I'm Dr. Amanda Baby.

I'm so sorry, but your
wife... she passed.

Mm...

What was wrong with her?

Well, she just kind of had every

awful thing you can have:

scabies, mites, tapeworms,
heartworms, hookworms,

roundworms, fleas, ticks,
bedbugs, body lice.

They just kind of ate away
at her from all sides,

and then, of course,
they ate each other.

But that's not possible.

- We shower with iron pellets.
- Mm.

I'm going to write you a prescription

for an antibiotic
because there is no way

you haven't been exposed to something.

And can you please not sit
on any of the other chairs?

We'll have to burn that one.

Oh, before she choked
on her last breath,

she asked me to give you this.

I want to say she said it
was a letter from the future.

Are you from the future?

Am I from the future?

No, sweetie. I'm from right now.

You can pay up front.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Okay, Drew and Dory are probably headed

to Lyte Headquarters. Put it in!

Are we even going to be
able to make it that far?

Honestly, I do not know
how this thing is still going!

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God.
- Look!

- Wow.
- Aw, how beautiful.

My God.

♪ ♪

Hey!

- It's her, it's her!
- [EXCITED INDISTINCT CHATTER]

She has risen! She has risen!

[ECSTATIC CHEERING]

- I'm alive!
- I'm alive!

[CHEERING]

- Let her speak!
- Let her speak!

Today is a good day!

[ALL CHEERING]

Because today is the day

that humanity's true nature is revealed.

[ALL CHEERING]

I bring you the pills.

[RAUCOUS CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Are you ready? [CHEERING GETS LOUDER]

I said, are you ready?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Oh, God!

- Oh, come on!
- sh*t!

Come on!

- sh*t!
- Oh!

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Babe, it's Dory!

- Perfect timing.
- Oh, my God!

She has the beans! She has the beans!

Oh, my God, we have to
get out and stop her right now!

- Dory!
- Dory!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

- Yeah!
- Open your hands!

Open your mouths, and open your hearts!

[CHEERFUL MUSIC]

[CROWD CHEERING RAPTUROUSLY]

- Dory!
- Stop!

Stop!

♪ ♪

- Dory, stop!
- Dory!

♪ ♪

♪ Let's have a good time ♪

♪ Everybody,
you know we gonna dance, whoa ♪

♪ I say hey ♪

♪ Get it right ♪

♪ Good people having good time ♪

♪ I say hey get it right ♪

♪ Good people having good time ♪

♪ You know it's okay ♪

♪ Do what you want to, do it all day ♪

♪ Yeah, you know that I'm gonna ♪

♪ All right, good times ♪

♪ Hey, hey, show a lot of love ♪

♪ Be all about it Take it every day ♪

♪ Got to get it I'll shout it,
all right ♪

♪ Good times, good times,
good times, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hands up high We'll get down low ♪

♪ Won't go back Just let it go ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Off the top, hey, that's our song ♪

♪ Know we're gonna
dance all night long ♪