07x07 - Tequila and Coke

[bunniefuu]

I'm up for anything, Billy.

So if you've got a good idea, bring it.

I look forward to the challenge.

Are you a director? Are you kidding?

This is Billy Walsh. Once upon a time he was the best.

Really? Well, it's still in there but priorities shift.

Oh yeah? What are your priorities now?

I'm married. And you're with me tonight, sweetheart.

Have a good evening, all right?

Think of something good for me, Billy.

It's marinating, all right? It's marinating.

What the hell was that?

You had your tongue in my mouth five minutes ago.

You should have seen this kid.

He tried to play it off but the kid was indeed terrified.

Right or wrong? Poor baby.

I'd never jumped out of a plane before.

Did you like it? It was amazing.

To be honest, when I got in the air, I felt complete peace.

Let's do it again tomorrow. Absolutely.

You're on! Ah, hear hear.

Cheers. Cheers.

You guys have anything besides tequila?

Uh, no. But it's the world's best so enjoy it, Chris.

Ugh, what is this, like a sponsored party?

No, it's some good free tequila, so drink up.

My girl likes vodka, Turtle.

Trust me, an Avión margarita will change your life.

Like playing for the Knicks would have. Enjoy.

I'll give you 1000 bucks to get me some vodka.

Yo, E, what up? I just want to make sure Vince is ready for his meeting tomorrow. What's he got to do to get ready?

He's got to rest.

He's resting. Look, it's very important that Vince make a better impression than he did at the last meeting.

Understood. Who's there?

Uh, just a few people.

What people?

We were at Goal and Vince announced an after-party.

Awesome. Do me a favor.

Make sure the kid's in bed early. I'm on it, Ma.

Thanks. Later.

What's wrong? They're having a party.

You jealous? Jealous of what?

Girls, I don't know.

No, are you kidding? I'm as happy as I can be.

I just want to get Vince's focus back.

Just give me your focus.

Done.

Good morning, Ari. Is it?

What are you laughing at?

Nothing. Then don't.

Anything?

I've been refreshing "Deadline Hollywood" every 15 seconds like you asked.

Nothing about you on there. How is that possible?

Maybe you're not important enough to warrant a story.

"Deadline Hollywood" would run a story about me having a loose stool much less having recorded tapes of me.

Well, you're gonna need to relax or everyone here is gonna panic as well.

I am not panicked. I just want to know what's going on.

Get Anna Fowler on the phone.

Do not go into the lion's den without an invite, Ari.

I'll be fine. I'll give her a scoop. Oh, you got one?

Yeah, I'm gonna tell her you blew Mickey Rooney and gargled with it.

She'll love it. I've got Anna.

How are you, Anna?

Hey, Ari. You calling to gloat?

Gloat about what? Lizzie Grant leaving Amanda's.

Leaving? She's been there one day.

Wait, you don't know about this?

Uh... Then why are you calling me?

I like you.

I did hear that you and Lizzie had some angry words when she left you.

That is not true.

When she left I was devastated.

Lizzie has been like a daughter to me.

But sometimes a good father has to let his daughter go free so her wings can finally sprout.

Why the f*ck are you calling me then, Ari?

Do I really need to start digging here?

No.

Then you'd better give me something.

Howard Stern... is gonna be the new host of "Jeopardy."

Oh, come on. You didn't hear it from me.

The NFL peeps are calling. I'll call 'em from the road.

Is Howard Stern really gonna host "Jeopardy"?

Where are you going? I'm gonna go see Lizzie.

I think I found a chink in her armor.

I don't think you should talk to her, Ari.

I think that you know what I think about your thoughts, Babs.

Love the delivery truck, Turtle.

It gets the job done. How come you still got Alex?

I thought you got rid of the car service. I let him keep me.

Really? Yup.

Thanks for bringing this over, man.

Anything I can do to help spread the word that is Avión.

How many calls have you gotten today? 40 already.

That's sick. That's just from Vince tweeting.

Wait till we stick his face on billboards.

Listen, who else are you giving this to in the area?

That stuff's like oil, kid. Everybody wants it.

But I'm ground zero for breaking product in Hollywood, you know that.

You're the first place in the states to have it.

And if you put it in front of the Patron so no one can see that, I won't give anyone else within three miles stuff for a month.

I think I can make that happen. How much more can you get me?

How much do you want? I'll take 25 cases to start.

How about I get Vince to tweet that you're the only place in town that has it, you take 50?

Done. See? That's why I let him keep me.

His brain turns me on. I thought it was my body.

Huh-uh. No? No?

Yeah? You up?

Yeah, of course.

You know you've got that meeting in 45 minutes.

Yeah, I know. You want me to go with you?

No, E, relax. I'm all good.

All right, good. I'll talk to you later. Bye.

You have to go?

Yeah, I've got to go win over my director.

You have a couple minutes.

I'm exhausted. I'm not sure we'd accomplish much in a couple minutes.

You relax, I'll accomplish.

I'm up, I'm up!

Just checking.

What are you doing, Billy?

Working. Uh-huh.

I do my best work while meditating. That's cool.

I think I got a k*ller idea for Drama.

What is it?

Vince, I've got one great pitch in me and I'm giving it to E and Drama in an hour.

Going through the proper channels, I like that.

Good luck. Thanks.

What do you got? Meeting.

Oh right, superhero stuff.

You ready? Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

You don't look ready. Why not?

You look tired. I do?

Yeah, and you smell.

Or maybe I smell. I sweat when I meditate.

Vince, you okay?

Yeah.

Took a Vicodin last night. It knocked me out good.

Guess I'm still not awake.

Okay.

I'm gonna wash my face, grab a cup of coffee.

Yeah, maybe grab a few, huh?

Lizzie. Are you kidding?

This time I confess I am following you.

Why? I feel bad.

I heard that things aren't working out too well for you over at Amanda's.

Where'd you hear that? I have ears everywhere.

It has nothing to do with you. I haven't slept in two days.

That has everything to do with you.

I can't help you sleep, Ari.

I need those tapes back.

"Deadline Hollywood" has them.

No they don't.

Ari, why didn't you promote me?

Honestly. Honestly?

My wife wanted me to get rid of you.

Wow, okay. That's a lot more honest than I expected.

Not to mention I wouldn't peg you as the type to bend to your wife's demands.

Well, you would be surprised.

She wanted you gone long before you asked for that promotion.

Then you quit and I didn't have to do anything. What if I hadn't?

I still wouldn't have promoted you 'cause you weren't ready.

Someday you will be, but not yet.

Honestly. I still disagree.

Do you also disagree that had I given it to you, other people, not just my wife, would have made excuses as to why and you wouldn't be recognized for your work?

That is such a bullshit double standard.

I don't make the rules. Not all of 'em anyway.

You know, I actually respect that you're still standing your ground.

Well, let's call a truce. Move on.

Yeah, I would if I had somewhere to move on to.

Well, come back to me.

Yeah, with my tail between my legs.

Then for sure no one would respect me.

You can find a job. Something better.

Maybe you can help me find that. How?

Ari, come on, you control this town.

If you believe in me, help me.

Being an agent was just a means to an end.

I would love a studio job.

I'll make some calls. Do more than that.

I need those tapes, Lizzie.

I don't know what's on them. All right, I talk a lot.

I'm mean with words. My actions usually aren't.

If they're as bad as I've played them in my head...

They're worse. ...that could be a real problem for my family.

And for the NFL. The NFL will be done, of course.

And you know how much I want that.

But that will be nothing compared to what I think might happen with my wife and kids.

Show some compassion.

I already have, Ari.

This whole thing was Amanda's idea... to sue, now this.

That's why I'm not gonna be working with her anymore.

I appreciate that.

I would appreciate a job.

If you were gonna send the tapes you would have sent them already.

Who knows, maybe five years from now I might be going through a nasty divorce and I might displace my anger at all men towards you.

I will find you a job. I'll get you those tapes.

We could have been good together.

We were good together.

I think the bottle needs to be updated.

The bottle? The label feels dated to me.

I'm about to give you mid-morning sex and you're thinking about labels?

My mind can't stop. I've got a million ideas on how I can make this company really pop.

You know what 50 Cent told me?

He made 50 mil in music and 150 mil in vitamin water.

Maybe we can make that.

I'd just like to be able to pay my rent.

You got to dream big.

It's Carlos. May I?

Yeah.

Hey hey, Carlos. Quick question:

What do you think about updating the bottle?

What do you mean? It feels a little dated to me.

Turtle, slow down.

The bottle is a cool shape, I'll admit that.

But I've promoted clubs and I've bartended and the simple fact is you need a bottle that's easy to grip and ours isn't that easy.

We'll talk about it when I come up later this week.

Why are you coming up? So we can talk.

About what?

Well, first off I can't get you 50 cases for this Gil Turner's. Not by tonight.

Why not? 'Cause I don't have that many in LA.

You said whenever I need supply to call and you could have 'em to me in an hour.

I meant for friends or for a party, not so you could sell. That's not your job.

I gave you stock in this company to get Vince to do an ad campaign, not so you could be my salesman.

Jesus, I already put on Vince's Twitter that the cases will be there tonight. You're gonna make me look bad.

Stop doing things on your own.

You're going to make yourself look bad.

Carlos... Turtle, I'll be there on Friday.

We'll talk.

He says he can't get me the cases we need.

So call Gil's and tell him. He'll understand.

He'll understand that I don't deliver when I promised to and more importantly when Vince promises to.

How many cases do we have left here?

Eight maybe. Eight.

I can find the rest. How?

I've just got to make some calls.

So how are you, Vince?

I'm good, I'm good. I just want to say I'm sorry about our last meeting.

Bringing a date obviously wasn't the most professional thing to do.

I'm sorry.

I was more concerned with the fact that I thought you were drunk.

I wasn't.

One glass of tequila.

And you're tweeting about tequila now.

You really like the stuff, huh?

It's a company my friend got me into.

But don't worry, no more tweets about it.

My fingers are sealed.

You know, my lips are sealed but you tweet with your fingers.

Oh, that's funny.

So look, Vince, here's why I wanted to have this meeting.

Obviously, as you know, your commitment to do "Air-Walker" is what gave the studio the confidence to greenlight the movie.

And your directing. Well, thank you.

Hopefully that had a little something to do with it.

But here's the deal.

If we're gonna go spend more than a year of our lives together, I need to know that I can count on you.

You can. I need to know that everything about you and your personal life is in control and in order. It is.

It is.

Because I've known you for so long I feel superconfident that I can tailor a character around your voice.

And I have the perfect character.

I'm ready, Billy. Show me what you got.

What the hell is that?

I mentioned something about this to you earlier and I think you thought I was joking, but I wasn't.

What is it? It's you, Johnny.

I don't follow.

Did you draw that? Yeah.

It's pretty good. Thanks.

What does that have to do with me? It is you, Drama.

You're a high-strung simian trying to make it in a human world that just doesn't get you.

Is this some kind of joke? No, it's not a joke.

Here, say something. Say something?

Yeah, hold this up here and say something.

Get that out of my face, bro. See? His voice is perfect.

You want me to voice a mean gorilla?

No, he's not mean. He's misunderstood.

Like you, he's named Johnny.

We call it "Johnny's Bananas."

That's not funny.

It made me laugh. Can you write a script?

I already did an outline while I was meditating.

I just have to transcribe it to paper.

Great, what's it say? Can you pitch it to us?

Okay, so Johnny's ex-wife is a nasty little black widow spider monkey named Julie.

She's getting remarried to a baboon named Ronald.

It's a big ceremony. It's the talk of the town.

But when Johnny stops paying alimony she tells him it was only a love ceremony;

That it's not legally binding and that she's taking him to court.

And then Johnny goes bananas.

Tell me what happens.

Does he win? You'll have to read it.

Who cares if he wins? And I'm not reading it 'cause I lose.

Are you making fun of me, Billy? Is that what you're doing?

No, Drama, I'm obsessed with animation.

You ever see "Family Guy"? That dog Brian, he kills me.

He kind of is me. Was me.

I mean, this stuff moves people.

And just imagine how your plight as a misunderstood gorilla can move countless angry men.

I'm starting to get angry now!

This is my first sh*t at my own show and you want me to hide behind a cartoon monkey. And you're liking this?

I'm intrigued. Well, I'm not intrigued!

Not even a little bit. What a waste of my day.

Drama!

What are you doing, Billy? That's what Johnny will do when he gets angry.

You like it, right? I'm intrigued.

Mark, I don't want you to take this personally.

Take what personally?

You know those cases of tequila Vince sent you?

Yeah. We need 'em back.

What? No no, I'm serious.

We're calling everybody we gave 'em to.

What's there a botulism recall on 'em or something?

No, nothing like that. We have a buyer that I promised to deliver to but I can't get any in time.

What kind of rinky-dink sh*t did you get Vince involved with?

I told you invest in the water company, dude.

AquaHydrate is blowing up. I know, I see it everywhere.

Hey, Vinnie Chase is doing a recall on his free tequila.

Let me speak to him. Did you give Diddy some?

You're in trouble. He's here, hold on. It's Turtle.

Hey, Turtle, I told you you should have had Vinnie invest in Ciroc when I told you about it.

It's not too late though, Turtle.

Doesn't sound like you're doing too good with the tequila.

Call Rob Baldwin, have him pick it up at the house.

But I want my water back, all right? Don't call me no more.

Oh, 23 cases. Great.

Yup. Who else did you give 'em to?

I sent 10 over to James Cameron.

Can you call him? Mmm, no.

It's the Terminator.

Why do I have to give this girl a job?

Because I am asking you to and because you can.

And you think she'd be good for me? I know she would.

But she wasn't good enough for you. She was great for me.

But you fired her. I didn't fire her, she quit.

What is going on here? I need a favor.

I got... Thanks.

I got you your job, all right?

So this is the least you can do for me.

What do you owe her, though? Did you f*ck her or something?

What is the matter with you?

You were the last person I was with before my wife.

No one since. Wow, that was over 20 years ago.

You're actually one of the good guys, despite what they say.

I need this, Dana, or those naysayers may be proven right.

What does she have on you?

She is a star. That's all that matters.

She's a TV agent. And what, you think that she can run a studio?

I was a TV agent. They offered me the job to run this studio.

The job that I gave you. I need a favor.

Fine, I will meet her. Great.

But I need a favor as well. Anything.

I want a baby.

What?

I'm pushing 40, I don't have a man.

I want a baby with your sperm.

Seriously?

No, I'm just f*cking with you.

I need sperm with thicker hair.

Ah, so what do you need? Lenny Kravitz.

For what? You know Jim Enders, director?

The gay guy that won Sundance. He's not gay.

Come on. He's not gay, but even if he was...

Okay, so what do you need?

I dated him. Okay, he's not gay!

And he's directing "True Violet."

What, the one with Russell Crowe? And Charlize.

I didn't know that. It just happened.

So he wants Lenny to play a small part that he thinks can steal the movie. He's desperate.

You know I put Lenny in "Precious"?

That's why I'm asking. Done.

Done done done.

Then done. I love you, Dana.

And if I ever cheat on my wife it will be you I'm f*cking.

I look forward to it.

It's Randall Wallace calling.

Oh, great. Thanks. This is about the Vince meeting.

Hello, Randall.

How did it go?

Well, that's good to hear. Yeah, Randall's a really good guy.

I think we're gonna have a lot of fun on this one.

Great. What are you up to for the rest of the day?

Sasha and I are gonna grab a bite to eat.

All right, enjoy. Always.

I'll talk to you later.

He said the meeting with Randall went great.

Why wouldn't it?

Now we just got to deal with the other Chase brother.

You know, I think this actually could be pretty funny.

Pretty funny? With Drama it'll k*ll.

It literally looks like him.

Billy, I didn't know you were still here.

Well, Drama drove me and then left, so where else would I be?

Hey, I wrote up that one pager if you want to send it over to your guy at the studio.

I think we should probably get Drama onboard first.

I think if the studio likes it he'll jump.

You're probably right. Ari's calling for you.

Great.

Hey, what's up?

What the f*ck is going on?!

Hello to you too. What's your f*cking problem?

My problem is that Wallace is not happy about his meeting with Vince.

I just spoke to Vince. He said the meeting went great.

Did he? Yeah, why? What did Randall say?

He said he thought Vince was on coke.

What? That's what he said.

I hope you told him he wasn't. Eric.

Ari, I've known Vince for 30 years.

He's never done coke a day in his life.

Whether he has or hasn't, Wallace's impression of him was not good.

What's the studio's impression of him?

I'm waiting to hear back from Dana on that.

I'm gonna call Vince. I've left word for him already.

Let me know if you hear from him. I'll talk to you later.

What was that?

Randall thinks Vince was on coke at the meeting.

Come on. I know, right?

Maybe I should call Randall.

Maybe you should call Vince first.

I don't even know why I sent Pauly Shore bottles, but that jerkoff should have just sent them back.

You've got 40 cases. I'm sure it's gonna be fine.

I don't think so.

I'm sorry I couldn't get you more, Randy. Yeah, me too. It's crazy.

Everyone wants the first bottles sold in the states.

I'm gonna get you more as soon as possible.

Any idea when that would be?

Sitting down with the big boss this week. I'll find out.

Well, if they like the taste you might have yourself a winner.

Oh, they'll love the taste. And I'm sure we have a winner.

All right, thanks again. Take care, man. See you later.

Who are you calling? The press;

Create a little buzz.

Hey, Turtle, yo. Is Vince coming down for this?

I don't know if he's gonna have a chance to stop by, but you guys should buy a bottle of this stuff if you can get one.

Yeah? You think it's that good? I know it is, Yori.

All right, thanks. Oh, use that piece, and I'll let you know where Vince is next time we go out.

Done. Later.

I got a good feeling you're gonna be able to pay your rent.

Lenny, it's a no-brainer.

A no-brainer for who, Ari? For you.

Two scenes with Russell Crowe, are you kidding me?

Did you read the scenes? I don't need to read them.

The director's passion for you is unmistakable.

He's an up-and-comer.

If you want this acting thing to become more than a hobby, then you step up and do this. Trust me.

Read the scenes. Why?

Because there's no dialogue, Ari. I'm shirtless with a guitar.

I think the director wants to f*ck me.

Lenny, he dated a girlfriend of mine.

Look, I can turn the best of them. Either way, I'm not doing it.

Lenny! I've got to go. I'm in temple.

It's my niece's bat mitzvah Saturday and I've got to help her get her voice right.

All right, man. Hey, Ari, I've got to go.

Lizzie Grant's waiting.

Thank you for running over.

You really delivered that fast.

I thought that I did when I called.

And I still think that I will, but I haven't yet.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I am as well.

Do what you can.

Really?

I should not have done this in the first place.

I don't want to blackmail my way into a job.

This whole thing is starting to eat away at my insides.

Nothing but respect from here on out.

Thanks, Ari.

Good luck.

Did you ever make it on with the NFL people?

Oh no. Get my new partners on the phone.

Are you okay? More than okay, Babs.

More than okay. Lizzie gave me the tapes.

That's great, but... but... But what?

Did you not see "Deadline Hollywood"?

No.

Somebody told Anna Fowler what was on the tapes.

Amanda? I don't know.

But it's bad.

I'm sorry, Ari.

I've got Jerry Jones and your wife both calling.

Ari?

Jerry Jones.

Jerry, how are you?

Better than you, it seems.

I've just gotten off the phone with our publicist.

It's all lies and rumors, my friend.

Listen, I can clean it all up.

It doesn't matter.

I don't do scandal. The NFL doesn't do scandal.

It's too bad. We were excited about this.

So was I. Good luck with this thing.

Thank you.

You wife's still on hold. Should I put her through?

Jeez, the phone's blowing up.

Something's going on.

Oh my God.

His wife must be freaking out.

Yeah, I'm sure.

What would you say if you read that stuff about me?

I don't know.

Is there even a chance that could happen?

I don't think so, no.

It's Vince, finally. Vince, where the hell have you been?

We decided to drive up the coast. We didn't have any service.

We've got a problem. What now?

Wallace thinks you were on coke at the meeting.

What? Yeah, Dana's freaking out.

He told that to the studio? Yes.

And what did you say?

Ari told me, I told him no way.

Well, I hope Ari sets them straight.

He's got his own problems right now. Oh, really?

Vince, you said the meeting went great. I thought it did.

I mean, maybe I was a little nervous.

And I was tired so I drank a lot of coffee.

I can't believe he called the studio without telling me right to my face.

I'll call Dana and tell her I've known you 30 years;

I've never seen you do coke. Okay.

Thanks.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

You sure? Yeah, I'm sure.

Look, E, I'll see you on Monday.

All will be well. Okay, I'll talk to you later.

You're bad. Why?

You totally just lied to him.

No, I said all will be well and it will be.