01x03 - Foreign Bodies

[bunniefuu]

Previously on B Positive...

Drew... [EXHALES]

I'm afraid you're in renal failure.

Hang on, you're saying, uh...

you're saying I need a new kidney?

What if I give you my kidney?

- [CHUCKLES]: What?
- I'm totally serious.

And this is not the wine talking

or the weed or whatever
that pink pill was.

Hey, will you promise me something?

What?

Travel.

See the world.

Travel? You have a panic att*ck

whenever I spend the weekend
at Grandma and Grandpa's.

I cannot count on this woman.

Why not?

She's just so...

out there.

She's still drinking,

and there is some shady stuff going on.

I saw a gentleman I owe some money to.

What kind of gentleman?

- The bad kind.
- What kind of money?

The kind they break your thumbs for.

Look, you're doing this
incredible thing for me,

so I want to do something good for you.

What do you think about...

moving in with me?

[CLEARS THROAT] Take it.

- _
- [LOUD PANTING]

Gina!

Gina?

♪ Day to night to morning ♪

♪ Keep with me in the moment ♪

♪ I'd let you had I known it ♪

♪ Why don't you say so? ♪

♪ Didn't even notice ♪

♪ No punches left to roll with ♪

♪ You got to keep me focused ♪

- Gina?
- Hey, roomie.

What are you doing?

I'm practicing my TikTok.

My followers love my new place.

That's wonderful.

Hey, I have a question.

Why is there a giant dog in my house?

Oh, that's Cannoli.

I'm training him for a friend.

Okay. So you're a dog trainer now?

For $300 a week,

I'm anything you want me to be.

Hey, by the way,

Connecticut water, thumbs-up.

Great. Yeah.

Um, look, I love that you're here,

and I want you to feel

totally at home.

But we need to establish
some boundaries.

Oh, boundaries. Yes.

I am so with you on the boundaries.

Are you? Because I can hardly
park my car in the garage

because of that giant
barrel thing in the way.

It's a fermenter.

- A what?
- A fermenter.

I make my own beer.

Artisanal.

You make beer?

Oh, don't worry.
I'm not hitting up my own supply.

I mostly sell to the
old folks where I work.

Oh. Okay.

So you're a dog
trainer and a bootlegger.

And a licensed body piercer.

Waist up only.

Hey, come here, Cannoli!

Yeah. It's breakfast time.

Oh, that's not breakfast.

That's not breakfast.
Train him. Train him!

I did.

That's his best trick.

- ♪ The more you give ♪
- ♪ The more you give ♪

- ♪ The more you live ♪
- ♪ The more you live ♪

- ♪ Your happiness is relative ♪
- ♪ Happiness ♪

♪ But if you're feeling like crap ♪

♪ It's time to face the fact ♪

♪ It's your prerogative ♪

♪ Your prerogative ♪

♪ To be positive ♪

She leaves her stuff everywhere,
Plays music all night long

makes beer in the garage...

And ketchup goes in the
fridge after opening.

It says so right on the bottle.

Ow, what was that for?

You're complaining to people
who would give their left nut

for a kidney.

Now throw me that back,
it wasn't a gift.

Coming at you.

I am so sorry I saw that.

This girl is saving your life.

That's all that matters.

She's your tight end,

and you're the quarterback
she's protecting.

Eli, this guy can't throw an apple.

Don't make sports analogies.

Look, obviously
I appreciate what she's doing.

I just wasn't expecting to have
another teenager in the house.

I mean, she makes TikToks.

Yeah. They're really good.

You watch them?

Not in a creepy way.

I just love the choreography.

Can I give you my take?

I'm not going anywhere.

[CHUCKLES]: Everybody
makes that joke once.

That was yours.

Your mistake was you thought

you moved a kidney into your house,

but you moved in a human being.

[RINGTONE PLAYING]

Hello, potential spam caller.

What is up?

Okay, let me save you some time.

I'm not gonna give you my
social security number.

Besides, it seems like
your heart's not really

into scamming me.

Just take a minute, think about

what you really want
to do for your life.

You have a beautiful voice.

Yeah, I'm sensing maybe you
could go into broadcasting.

You-you could even be a DJ.

Yeah? Okay, so you tried that?

Okay, so you failed once.

That doesn't mean
that you should give up.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

I'm so sorry, I have to go.

Hold on. Um...

you hang in there,
and you keep on dreaming. Bye.

Hi, can I help you?

Hello. Is Drew here?

Uh, no, he's not.

Who are you?

Oh, I'm Gina. Who are you?

I'm Julia, his ex. The ex.

I don't know,
I'm really not used to saying it yet.

Oh, I should have recognized you

from the pictures in his bedroom.

Come on in.

So... [CLEARS THROAT]

are you and Drew...

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Um, I'm his kidney donor.

Drew needs a kidney?

Um...

Let us chat in the kitchen.

Yeah, let's.

So he invited both you
and the dog to live here?

Well, he invited me,

and then I invited the dog.

His name is Cannoli.

But he also answers to Rizzo.

Gina... I got you some jellybeans

because I appreciate you.

GINA: I'm in the kitchen.

And I'm not alone.

[QUIETLY]: Great.

Hey...

When were you planning on telling me?

Well, I assumed she knew.

Drew, how serious is this?

Ah... Gina, can you give us a minute?

Well, you are talking about
one of my internal organs,

so I really think I
should be here for this.

Here.

Thank you.

I was waiting for the right time.

[SCOFFS]: Drew, it's me.

We may not be husband and wife anymore,

but I still really care for you.

Aw.

Oh, look, root beer.

I know, you're right.

I should have said something.

So, how did all this happen?

I know Gina from back in high school,

and she graciously agreed

to get tested for compatibility,

and now she's donating a kidney.

Thank you.

I'm a giver.

Why didn't you ask me?

Well, 'cause of Maddie,

And we can't have the
surgery at the same time.

Plus, you haven't exactly
liked me in quite a while.

One could say actively disliked.

He is a prickly pear...

who doesn't like to
have his hair tousled.

Don't worry, I'll be fine.

I hope so. Hey...

when should we tell Maddie?

Well, I'll handle it.

I think it should come from me.

Are-are you sure?
Because I'm happy to do it together.

Yeah, but we're not together.

But we could be.
I mean, you know, for things like this.

Thank you, but I got it.

Okay. See ya.

I don't know why I did that.

That was just muscle memory. Bye.

Hey, I thought
we handled that really well.

Maddie!

Maddie, don't look away.
I know you saw me.

If you don't come over here right now,

I'm gonna start ♪ singing. ♪

- ♪ Do re mi. ♪
- Okay, okay.

What are you doing here?

I switched with Mom.
I thought we could hang out.

Have some quality time.
Go get some fro-yo.

Fro-yo? You and Mom splitting up again?

Do you want fro-yo or not?

I'd rather have a cappuccino.

No way, come on, that's all caffeine.

- You're too young.
- Never mind.

Just take me home.

[SIGHS]: Fine, we'll go get coffee.

I have peripheral vision.
I can see you smiling.

I think it's going okay. I just...

I wish he and I were, you know...

Doing it?

No.

Maybe you need to do it.

[LAUGHS]: From your mouth to God's ear.

I'll have sex with you.

How am I supposed to share
a house with somebody

and see them every single day

and not have some kind of friendship?

- We don't even have to kiss.
- Hey.

I read about this one
donor and recipient,

and every year on the
anniversary of their surgery,

they go to Dollywood.

All I get from Drew is,

"Don't put your Crocs
in the dishwasher."

Well, sweetheart,
maybe you should just...

I... Don't force it. It doesn't fit.

- Yeah, that's what she said.
- [GROANS]

Honey, the guy needs a kidney,
you offered him one.

He never said, "Let's be friends."

Well, I know,

but I thought when you give
somebody a piece of your body,

there'd be some sort of
spiritual connection.

There's a piece of my body...

Which I will rip off
if you don't shut up.

Gina, got to think of your
relationship with Drew

as purely transactional.

Besides, you don't need more friends.

I'm your friend.

And as your friend, I can say this:

lose the Crocs.

What's a Croc?

Plastic shoes she wears.

Oh, yeah.

It is a bad look.

So, how's school going?

Fine.

Well, do you like
any boys in your class?

O-Or girls?

Or maybe you feel like
you're the wrong gender?

If I ever feel like a man
trapped in a woman's body,

you'll be the first to know.

Great. Thank you.

Well, there is one thing I
wanted to talk to you about.

I'm gonna be totally fine,

but it looks as if I
need a small surgery.

- I need a kidney transplant.
- What?

Not to worry. I have the best doctor.

And I know everybody says that.

No one ever goes, "Oh,
I got this really mediocre doctor,

but he gave me a great price."

This guy really is the best.

He was in a magazine.
They called him the Kidney King.

In the photo, he had a crown,
everything, so...

Where do you get a new kidney?

Uh, well, there's this woman,

uh, Gina, that I knew
back in high school.

She's donating one of hers.

- Why?
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]

Well, she's just being a good person.

Who knows, maybe in 20 years,

you might want to donate one
of your kidneys to, uh, Sofie.

Sofie didn't invite me to her birthday,
she can suck it.

The-the point is, uh,

in 20 years,

you may want to do something nice

for someone you knew back in school.

That's what Gina's doing for me.

In fact, I invited her to stay
with us for a little while.

You should see her dog.

- He's bigger than you.
- Yeah.

Great. Could this operation not work?

- Could you...?
- No.

No, no, no. I'm not gonna die.

Look, I'll be out of the hospital
in two or three days.

This new kidney's gonna
give me all this energy,

I won't be as pale.

Who knows? I might even get abs.

I'll get a two-pack.

That's one more pack
than I currently have.

Swear.

What?

That you're not gonna die.

Yeah, Maddie.

I swear.

Okay.

Please stop putting sugar in that.

No way.

You have your own food. Go eat that.

Okay, one bite. Just a little bit.

- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
- [PHONE CHIMES]

_

_

_

_

_

_

_

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

- Hey.
- Hey. How was your day?

Well, I complained about
you to my elderly friends.

It was fun.

Well, I complained about
you to my dialysis friends,

so checkmate.

Uh, by the way,
I had a chat with my daughter

about the surgery and you,

and things went better than expected.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, she's upstairs, processing.

What does that mean?

Well, she's just a little scared.

Totally normal.

Hmm.

Gina, do not get involved.

I'll handle it.

Boundaries, remember?

Totally.

Our little secret.

_

Oh, my God.

Hi.

Who are you?

I'm Gina.

Gina with the kidney?

Well, I prefer "Gina with the boobs,"

but kidney's okay.

- Uh, do you mind if I...?
- Yeah.

Sure.

Thanks. Okay...

[GRUNTING]

It's okay. It's okay.

I do yoga.

[EXHALES]

You know, there's a trellis out there

if you ever need to sneak out at night.

Okay.

I just... [CLEARS THROAT]

wanted to introduce myself.

I figure, I'm giving your dad
one of my kidneys,

so we're practically related, right?

Uh, I guess?

Ah, cool room.

- Thanks.
- Ooh, Purple Pop lip balm.

[SNIFFS] Mmm, good choice.

Um...

I just,

I-I wanted to tell you

that it's okay to be freaked out
about your dad.

I would be, too.

It takes so much
self-control not to eat this.

He said this wasn't a big deal,

but I looked it up and it is.

It's very serious.

Yeah, it is.

He could die.

He could.

And I could die.

And so could you

if you keep letting strangers
through your window.

Hey. There's a really small chance

of anything happening to him.

Well, he still should've
told me the truth.

Maddie, your dad is wound
pretty tight on a good day,

so throw in a divorce and
a couple of dud kidneys,

I'm surprised he's not swinging
from a pipe in the basement.

Hey. Come here.

Do you know why your dad

is so desperate for a kidney?

It's you.

He said, "I have to stay alive
for my daughter."

So that is the reason that
he is putting up with me,

and trust me, I am a lot to put up with.

You don't seem so bad.

I just stole your lip balm.

Why are you doing this, anyway?

Well, why wouldn't I?

I've known this guy since high school.

Oh, God, I can't even
picture him back then.

He was cool.

Okay, that is not true.

He-he used to lecture us

about cancer while we were
smoking behind the gym.

So, who knows, maybe he saved my life,

and now it's my turn to save his.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Hey, maybe we don't mention
this to your dad?

He doesn't like it
when I get too involved.

But you're giving him your kidney.

I-I think you're involved.

B'zactly.

[GRUNTS]: Okay. Here we go. Here we go.

- Please be careful.
- Oh, I got it. I got it.

GINA: Uh-oh.

I'm good. I'm like a cat.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

Drew.

Gina.

Drew.

I'm gonna have to change my last name.