01x18 - Life Expectancy

[bunniefuu]

Previously on B Positive...

-I have cancer.
-What?

I got Adriana into the
clinical trial in Switzerland.

Really? I mean,
-that's incredible.
-I know, right?

Few years ago,
I was making millions.

Now I'm doing Cameos
and autograph signings.

Maybe I should sell
some of my football stuff.

What? No!
Why not?

I can get some nice cash
for my jerseys and helmets.

Well, I just
found out that... [sighs]

...I can do the transplant
surgery on Tuesday.

Oh, wow. Really?

Yeah, but I'm gonna keep
with the original date

so I can go to Switzerland
with you.
No.

You can't do that. So much
could go wrong before then.

I really want to do this, okay?

Let's worry
about getting you healthy,

and then we'll worry about me.

Oh, you're so selfless.

It's really annoying.

So, I should look
for flights?

Look for flights.

Okay, toss,
-sell or keep.
-All right.

This picture
of you and Papa John.

Toss.

-You and Tom Brady?
-Sell.

You and Gisele?

[growls softly]
Keep.

Right? [laughs]

Thanks for helping.

Hopefully, this stuff
is worth some decent cash.

Hey, um, can I keep some of
these boxes? I'm gonna need them

when I move out of Drew's.

Yeah, sure. You excited
about living with Gabby again?

Ugh. Actually...

I love Gabby, but I'm not sure

the party lifestyle
is my thing anymore.

You can only
snort coke with a busboy

in the IHOP parking lot
so many times

before it loses its glamour.

Wow. Your glamour is
some people's rock bottom.

So what's your plan?

Oh, I don't know, but

I have two months
to figure it out.

Hey, I have a crazy idea.

You know me so well.

You are looking for a place.

I have a place.

Oh, you mean move in here?

Yeah. Why not?

Oh, Eli.

The me a year ago would've
immediately said "yes."

I would've said it to a guy with
a braided goatee and two DUIs.

[laughs]

But...

the me now has
to say "no."

Look, I know it seems fast, but
I think it'll be a good thing.

I like us... a lot.

I don't want
to mess this up

by rushing into anything.

Yeah, I get it.

I like us, too.

So we're cool?

Ooh! [laughs]

Keep. [laughs]

♪ The more you give ♪ The more you give♪

♪ The more you live ♪ The more you live♪

♪ Your happiness is relative ♪ Happiness♪

♪ But if you're feeling
like crap ♪

♪ It's time to face the fact

♪ It's your prerogative

♪ Your prerogative♪

♪ To be positive.

What's all this?

Oh, well, just

a little sampling
of all the delicacies

that await us in Switzerland.

Swiss cheese, Swiss chocolate,

and, um,
California wine,

but I opened it
with a Swiss Army Kn*fe.

Ah. Drew...

And that's not the best part.
Cannoli?

Oh.

Just in case you need
to be rescued.

Although, to be honest,
he'd be useless in a crisis,

but still, pretty cute, right?

You are amazing.

I concur.

But I can't stay.

I'm on my way to the airport.

What? But our flight's
not till Friday.

I'm going by myself,
and I'm leaving tonight.

Hang on.
What are you talking about?

I thought about it a lot,

and I can't let you delay
your transplant for me.

Yeah, but I said
I'm willing to take that risk...

And you always say
to tell you what I want.

This is what I want.

Adriana, I...By the time

I come home,
we'll both be healthy.

We'll get back together,

realize impending death was
all we had in common,

and then I'll dump your sorry,
healthy ass.

Well, as long as I have
something to look forward to.

I got to go.

Oh. Okay. Wow.

Uh, well, I...

I guess this is goodbye.

Not goodbye.

Just... see you soon.

-Yeah. Soon.
-Hey.

Don't be sad.

Good things are happening
for both of us.

You're right.

I'll call you when I land?

[sighs]

Hello.

[laughing]:
Well, I'm sorry.

Okay, you are good in a crisis.

Thank you.

-Oh, no.
-Everything all right?

This expert on intermittent
fasting was supposed

to do my podcast,
but she got lightheaded,

fell off her Peloton
and broke her nose.

-Oh, my God, that's awful.
-I know.

I wish it happened
during my podcast.

That definitely
would've gone viral.

If you need a guest
for your podcast,

I've got a great
convention speech on gingivitis.

I'll save you
two-and-a-half hours. Floss.

-This is great.
-What?

This. All this.

I'm gonna miss you guys.

You've all become
very good friends.

Aw, Drew. We feel the same way.

You've been here a week.

I'm an empath.

I take on the feelings
of those around me.

Anxiety.

Confidence.

Calmness.

Shame, rage, sadness.

Damn, you get me.

We'll miss you,
too, Drew.

And I have
a tradition.

On my patients' last session,
I get them a gift.

You didn't get
me anything

when I was going in
for my transplant.

There's that rage.

Oh, I love this.

And everyone wrote
a little note.

[both chuckle]

"To my biggest
fan, all the best,

Eli Russell,
number 84."

Sorry. Reflex.
Sign my checks the same way.

Thanks, guys. This means a lot.

So, what are you getting Gina
for her kidney-donor gift?

That's a thing?

Yeah, something to thank her
for the sacrifice she's making.

Maybe a couple
of tickets

to the Knicks game
so she could take her boyfriend,

whoever that might be.

You're telling
me this now?

I'm terrible
at gift giving.

I'm the guy at 7-Eleven
on Christmas morning.

Last year, my mom got
beef jerky and scratchers.

You got 24 hours.

And as you consider
how much to spend,

remember, it's not too late
for her to keep her kidney.

Hey!

Happy last day
of having sad toxin blood.

Try finding

that card at Hallmark.

Hey, babe.

Gina, so nice
you came for my last session.

I wouldn't miss it.

All right, everybody.
Drumroll, please.

[soft whoop]

Congratulations,
Drew Dunbar.

You are officially
done with dialysis.

[whooping] Yeah!

Oh. You're the best.

Thanks for everything.

Of course.[laughs]

-Don't be a stranger.
-MEGYN:
Congratulations.

-Love you, man.
-Get in here,
you guys. Come on.

[laughter]

You too, Gina!

Really? So sweet.

[laughter]

All right, take

as much time
as you want.

Thank you.

[door closes]
Um...

it's pretty small.

I'd have to get
rid of some things.

Like my furniture.

I know it's not perfect,
but Gideon loves a fixer-upper.

Unless it's a man.
I've spent way too many years

being an emotional Home Depot.
Mm-mm.

You're right. I can

find a way to
make this work.

I can... I can put a
mirror here and here

and... here.

You know, funhouse chic.
[laughs]

And there's a lot of storage.

Yeah.

I can put all my... [gasps]

Great. Just great.

Don't worry. You can fix it.

Can I? 'Cause, uh,
I don't think I can. [laughs]

[inhales, exhales]

-Are you okay?
-Yeah.

Everything's fine.
Couldn't be better.

Except I...
I have no idea what the hell

-I'm doing! Oh, my God.
-All right, all right.

Slow down. What's going on?

I don't know who I am.

I know who I was
when I was with Drew,

but after tomorrow,
I'm not gonna be

Gina the kidney donor anymore.

And I don't want to go back
to being Gina the party girl.

And I don't want to be Gina
the van driver anymore.

I just want to be Gina the...

[screams, groans]

What's the...
[screams, groans]

That's the thing. I don't know
what the [scream, groans] is!

Oh.[crying]

I don't know
who I'm supposed to be.

[cries]
Oh.

And I don't know
what I'm supposed to do.

[sobbing]
Oh.

It's sticky.

[crying]
Take a deep breath.

[sniffles] Oh.

Oh, and wipe your
-snot on my sleeve.
-Oh, my God.

God.

[sniffling]

-Change is hard.
-Yeah. [exhales]

But look at it as a
chance to start fresh.

Right? Hey, the Chinese
character for "crisis"

is the same as
"opportunity."

And it's only slightly different
from "little potato,"

which is apparently what I
got tattooed on my shoulder.

Everybody but me has
their whole life figured out.

Everybody has careers
and-and families, and

here I am, in a crappy apartment
with a sticky ass. [sobs]

So, what do you think?

I'll take it.

[sobbing]

[doorbell rings]
MAN [over TV]:
And what a success it was.

[TV turns off]

-Julia. Hey.
-Hey.

Wait.

Was I supposed
to pick up Maddie?

Or drop her off?

Hang on, is Maddie here?[chuckles]
No.

I just stopped by to wish
you luck and give you this.

-Oh.
-It's just a little something.
You know, nothing big.

Well, last present you gave me
was divorce papers,

so the bar is low.

Oh, socks.

And they're brown.
You know me so well.

It's for when you're
in the hospital.

I know that your feet get cold
when you're nervous,

and I don't want them to
mistake you for a dead body.[chuckles]

I appreciate the thought.

Hey, and, um,
thank Gina for me.

If she hadn't have stepped up
and donated,

who knows where you'd be?

Trust me, I think about that

every day.

There's, like, so many
people out there like you.

Honestly, it kind
of got me thinking.

Maybe I should do
this for someone.

Give someone a kidney?

[chuckles]:
Yeah, that'd be amazing.

I can think of three peop...
two pe...

three people.[chuckles]

I mean, I could save
somebody's life.

Plus, it would look great
on my Tinder profile.

[phone chimes]

-Ah. It's Maddie.
-Yeah.

She's really
-worried about you.
-Yeah,

she keeps sending me
the prayer hands emoji.

And I send her back skulls
and ghosts,

and then she sends
the middle finger,

and I tell her she's grounded
for the rest of my life,

and she says,
"That could only be two days."

It's the best conversation
we've had in months.

[laughs]

Middle finger
emojis. Cute.

Real middle finger when
I pick her up early

from a party, not as much.

Hey, um, I want
to get Gina a gift

to say "thank you,"
but nothing feels right.

You got any ideas?

I don't know, but
whatever it is,

just make sure it
is from your heart.

Hmm. I was thinking
about diamond earrings.

Oh, yeah, diamond earrings
are good. Screw your heart.

Hey.

What are you doing up?

[exhales]
I couldn't sleep.

Yeah, me, either.

I had the weirdest dream.

The doctor took out my kidney

and then another one

and another one.

My body was like
a little kidney clown car.

Well, I had a dream

that kids were playing Operation
on my body.

Every time they hit the sides,
my nose lit up.

[chuckles]

You know,

I almost didn't go
-to that wedding.
-What?

The wedding
-where we reconnected.
-Oh,

totally.
Who has a cash bar at a wedding?

That's why I walked off
with their Instant Pot.

I was going through a divorce.

I didn't have anyone to go with.

I knew they would stick me
at the loser table.

Yeah, your table was woof.

Trust me, I remember.

You and the other bridesmaids
walked by and said,

"That table is woof."

[chuckles]

If I hadn't have gone, my life
would be completely different.

I know.

You wouldn't have gotten
my kidney.

Not just that.

I wouldn't have gotten you.

Moving in here,

driving me crazy.

Which I have thoroughly enjoyed.

Yeah, I liked it, too.

You completely changed my life.

What?

-No, I didn't.
-Are you kidding?

I had a meltdown today
with Gideon.

About what?

To be specific, um...

everything.

I don't know what's next for me,

and I feel
like one of those balloons

that breaks away, and you see it

flying by aimlessly.

Then it pops and lands somewhere

and ends up choking some duck.

I've got something for you.

I was going to give it
to you tomorrow,

but now feels
like a pretty good time.

You didn't have
to get me anything.

Oh, no, many people
told me I did.[chuckles softly]

Aw. It's a donor key chain.

And it says, "I
shared my spare."

Yeah, mine says,
"I run on spare parts."[chuckles]

That's so cute. Thank you.

Well, actually,
the real gift is the key.

To the house.

I want you

to know that you can stay here
as long as you want.

Or not. Uh, I admit,

it's more of a gift for me
than it is for you.

[chuckles]

Truth is...

...I don't want you to leave.

You've completely changed
my life, too, Gina.

And I can't imagine

what this house will be like
without you.

I can't imagine
what I will be like without you.

Damn it, I should've gotten
the diamond earrings.

Julia was right a...

Hey.

It's perfect.

I'd love to stay.

-Really?
-Yeah.

Being here with you...

makes me feel safe,

and, um...

Because of you,

I feel like my life
means something.

[chuckles softly]

-Thank you.
-No,

thank you.[chuckles]

Wait, did you say
-"diamond earrings"?
-Yeah,

but you already accepted
the key. No backsies.

[scoffs]

Okay, you all set?

Yep. All right, Cannoli.

Aunt Julia's gonna take care
of you for a few days.

And remember,
don't be weirded out

when you smell Mommy's kidney
inside Daddy.

I almost want to postpone
the surgery

to unpack how weird that was.

All right, are we taking

your car or mine?

I don't know.
Why don't we go for a walk?

[Gina gasps]

Get out of town![chuckles]
You deserve to be

cut open in style.

Does it have a bar?

You can't be sober
for 30 more minutes?

Oh, my God. Paul?

Your dad hired me
to capture the moment.

We are the same age!

A videographer. A limo.

It's like our kidneys
are going to prom.

And I won't have to take
my cousin this time.

[laughing]

Oh, allow me.

Hi.

Okay, bye.

Paul.

["Make It Sweet" by Old Dominion
playing]

-Cheers.[chuckles]:
-Cheers.

♪ I know you get tired...

-Hey.
-Aw.

Look at the light.

♪ But let's make
a little lemonade ♪Yeah!

♪ If lemons is all we got...

Oh. I don't...

♪ 'Cause I'm stuck on you,
you're stuck on me ♪

♪ I never gotta wonder
where my honey be ♪

♪ I ain't savin' all my sugar
for a Saturday night... ♪

[laughs]

[whoops]

[gagging]
Bug! Bug in my mouth!

We're not supposed to
eat before surgery.

♪ We've never seen

♪ Don't waste another mile
or a minute not kissin' me... ♪

ALL:
Surprise!

♪ Life is short, make it sweet [laughter]

Good luck, you guys.
We love you.

And remember,
you always want the dr*gs.

Always.

I'm so glad you're in my life.

[voice breaking]: I know
this isn't goodbye, but...

[crying]:
Oh, God.

Damn it, Jerry!

Remember, it doesn't matter
if you win or lose.

It's how you play the game.

Well, obviously, this matters
if you win or lose,

"winning" being living
and "losing" being dy...

Yo, can we take this over?

Hi! Gina, I know I was
really against this at first,

but I am so excited
for your surgery.

Surgery?

Is somebody getting bigger cans?

Good luck, guys.
I-I know it's gonna go great,

but just in case,
could you Venmo me,

like, like, right now?

[barking]

Buongiorno.
[chuckles]

I'm sending you both
so much love

and all best wishes
for a very successful surgery

and a very speedy recovery.

I'm having
the most wonderful time

with my daughter here in Italy.

Don't roll your eyes, Amy.

This may be
the last thing they hear.

Love you, Dad. The
surgery's gonna go great.

Drew, we are
so excited for you,

and Gina,
we can't thank you enough.

I hope Drew got you
those diamond earrings.

Oh, Dad, one last thing.

No.[laughs]

Love you.

♪ 'Cause I'm stuck on you,
you're stuck on me ♪

[camera clicking]♪ I never gotta wonder
where my honey be ♪

♪ I ain't savin' all my sugar
for a Saturday night... ♪

What's all this? No, no,
you got to get out of here.[laughs]

You can't be here.
Let's go.

Come on, come on.
All right, everybody out.

♪ Let's find a road
we've never seen ♪

All right.

You're not from
the insurance company, are you?

Oh, no, no. No.♪ Life is short

♪ Make it sweet.

All right.
-They're ready for you.
-Okay.

I guess this is it.

Fly like the wind, little dove.

See you on the other side.[chuckles]
You know it.

Wait.

-Gina?
-Yeah?

I love you.

I love you, too.

[monitor beeping steadily]

ANESTHESIOLOGIST:
Okay, are you ready?

Honestly, I don't know.
[chuckles softly]

You know it.
Let's get this party started.

All right, I need you
to count backwards from ten.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Six.