JUDY GEMSTONE: I want to do things, too.
Why does Daddy always overlook me?
Ni hao, Daddy.
That means "hello" in Chinese.
I studied so much, even though
I wasn't allowed to go with y'all.
That's wonderful, baby doll.
That operation you're building there,
that prayer center.
We're scared you're gonna run us
out of own hometown. [CHUCKLES]
BABY BILLY FREEMAN:
I'm Aimee-Leigh's little brother.
As children, we had a singing duo.
My sister's gone,
you over here drownin'.
You're trying to cash in on
her name every chance you get
and were nowhere to be found
when she needed you most.
It's our daughter.
Kelvin here specializes
in youth ministry.
What time's youth group Wednesday night?
It's my parents.
SCOTTY: All right, buckle up, bitch.
What in the Good Lord is going on?
Nothing. Them just some
fellas I play car pranks with.
[TV STATIC DRONES]
[BRIGHT TONE]
[MOTOR WHIRRING]
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪♪
Oh, really?
Does Dad even know about this?
Uh-uh. Doesn't matter if it scrapes
the side of the house...
Just pull it in.
- No!
- I don't think
you're appreciative of
what I've done here.
Why does it have to be my house?
- It should be in your house.
- You found 'em?
Yeah, you bet your ass I found 'em!
- Stop.
- I chased those m*therf*ckers
down and captured their vehicle.
This is my van now!
[METAL CREAKING]
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
- Aah!
[LAUGHING] Yeah! Yeah!
Why'd you do that?
- Let's m*rder it!
- What's...
Oh! Judy!
- Put that down. You're being reckless.
- Almost sent a shard
almost right in my eye.
Hey, y'all.
What's going on?
Keefe.
Sickening.
That shirt is not as long
as you think it is, bud.
Ah, cool mushroom tip.
Just... just go back inside, buddy.
[LIGHT PERCUSSIVE b*at]
♪♪
[WHISPERS] Very sorry about that.
[BRIGHT CHOIR MUSIC]
Well, we tried to give
y'all everything you needed.
We don't have a smoke machine
or a fancy sound system.
- [WOMAN SOBBING LOUDLY]
- Don't have a climbing wall
for the youth or preachers
who seem to think
they're some sort of famous movie stars.
[SOBBING CONTINUES]
[CLEARS THROAT] My wife
and I will continue
to hold prayer meetings every
Wednesday night at our house.
And, uh...
we will find a space
that is more suitable...
to our numbers.
Oh, God help me! Jesus, please!
[SOBBING]
Amen.
I'm sorry about how all
this has turned out.
Maybe you could take comfort
knowing that this is all,
somehow, part of His plan.
Wish I understood that plan.
He's gonna have some purpose
for bringing them Gemstones here.
Oh, boy.
[SLOW COUNTRY MUSIC]
♪♪
I can't possibly imagine.
♪♪
[LAUGHS] Hoo-hoo! Look at that sh*t.
Just like the one I
gave Johnny Seasons...
Took all them fools down.
Took 'em downtown. [LAUGHS]
Well, results come easy
when you love what you do.
So true; if you love your job,
it doesn't feel like work.
Aw. BJ made that up.
He's really good at sayings.
I don't know much about you, BJ.
Eli never really brings you up much.
Well, that's 'cause BJ and Daddy
are still kinda forming
their friendship.
I look forward to growing closer to you
over the years, Dr. Gemstone.
In an organic way, of course.
Great.
Well, how you make your money, BJ?
Uh, I work at Low Country Optical.
Thought you worked at the grocery store.
No, Daddy.
He doesn't work at the grocery store.
He works in the grocery store.
Well, what about you, Judy?
What's your Daddy got
you doing these days?
I'm just, uh, working with Martin.
With Martin? What, doin' secretary sh*t?
She helps in the entire organization.
- [EXHALES]
- Yeah, but she's a Gemstone.
Seems strange to me she's
not front and center
like everybody else.
I don't know,
maybe that's just me talkin', now.
No, that's not just you talkin'.
[CHUCKLES]
I've been wondering about it.
Been hearing a lotta other
people wondering about it.
Tons of people talkin' about it, and...
Less chitchat, more play.
[FUNKY MUSIC]
♪♪
That was a beautiful sh*t, Tiff.
[GIGGLING]
♪♪
Hey, come here.
- What?
- You and I?
We deserve a lot more than we get.
Now, we both have gifts
that we are more than willing to share.
Yet for some reason,
somebody's always standing in the way.
You got a church.
You get more than I get.
Yeah, Judy, I got a church.
But when you got star
talent like this right here,
a little Jesus house in
the middle of sh*t Town
don't seem so hot.
That was a great sh*t!
That was a beautiful sh*t.
There's plenty of qualities
that your mama had
I see plain as day in you.
- Like what?
- I see your hair,
your face.
I mean, it's all...
I mean, it's similar.
It's different, but it's similar.
And beautiful, like her.
You got a lotta good things.
- Mm-hmm.
- Lot of 'em, lotta things.
Seems a sin to let all
that talent go to waste.
Tell my daddy that all the time.
[CHUCKLES]
But he don't listen, does he?
- Mm-mm.
- Let me tell you something.
Ol' Baby Billy's listenin'.
Why don't you come by the
prayer center tomorrow?
I'd like to talk to you
more about this, now.
♪♪
[SOFTLY] Come on,
tryin' to figure out that one.
Well, are we gonna talk
about what's going on
with that red van?
What?
Come on, you're being silly now.
This ain't one of your podcasts.
This ain't "Serial."
It's not some Lifetime movie.
Don't get all wrapped up and
try to solve the mystery.
- There's no mystery.
- But baby,
you were in a high-speed
chase last night,
and now that van is parked
over there in Kelvin's garage.
I mean, in what part of
the world is that normal?
Well, I told you,
we do elaborate pranks.
I mean, like George Clooney
and the Impractical Jokers.
- We go big.
- I mean, come on.
H... how is that even a prank?
Th... just, like, a van flippin' over?
Yeah, that just... seems dangerous.
Look, I didn't pull off that prank.
That was a prank they were doin'.
I mean, obviously,
that wasn't really that good of a prank.
The counter-prank is gonna
be where the big laughs are.
Maybe I'll put shaving
cream inside that van.
Put a bunch of Chinese food...
Szechuan, f*ckin' wontons
all inside that van,
maybe cram some crickets
in the glove box.
- That'd be funny, right?
- [SMALL LAUGH] Mm.
Yeah, I guess so.
- Morning, baby.
- Morning.
What's with them glasses?
Oh, cool guys wear 'em.
Haven't you heard?
[SCOFFS] Lemme see your beautiful face.
- I'm kinda in a hurry.
- Gideon, take them glasses off.
Mom, I can't, I gotta go.
Glasses off now.
Go on, take 'em off, Michael Jackson.
- [GASPS]
- Oh, sweet Lord.
Baby, what did you do to your face?
I just wiped out on my dirt bike.
I didn't wanna tell ya.
I knew you'd freak out.
No, baby, you need to go to a doctor.
- No. No doctors.
- We... yes.
It's all good, I feel good.
I'm gonna be late for work.
I love you, okay?
I love you. [EXHALES DEEPLY]
Well, I guess that's the one good thing
about him being a stuntman...
Knows how to take a hit.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Keefe ran the tags...
stolen from a Chevy Camaro.
He got fired 'cause of it.
Eh, DMV's a shitty job anyway.
Damn, with the VIN number scratched off,
there's not gonna be any way in hell
we can figure out who
this van belongs to.
So sickening to think about
somebody living in here...
making coffee, clipping toenails.
When'd you get a fried
chicken and soda machine?
The Nancy's gave it to me as a gift
for turning their
daughter's life around.
It's awesome.
It makes like... like every soda.
Pffft. What a stupid present.
No, it's not.
Regular people can't even buy this.
You gotta, like,
own a restaurant to have one.
God, don't be all cocky about it.
You have had a big f*ckin' head lately.
Why don't you come back to reality
and dust this van for prints?
Ah, you know what?
I'd love to,
but I actually have responsibilities.
I have to learn a few words in Swahili.
Daddy has me handing out roses
to the refugees this week.
- [GRUNTS]
- Wait, you're doing
the Refugee Rose Welcome?
Mm-hmm. Ndio.
- What... Ndio?
- What the f*ck is that?
- Ndio.
- What the f*ck is that?
That means "yes" in Swahili.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDING]
- Ndio.
- Ndio.
- Sounds Chinese.
- No, it's not.
- It's Swahili.
- What is it?
"Un-dun-doo-how"?
Oh!
Oh!
[WRENCH CLATTERS, SODA SPLASHING]
- [LAUGHS]
- Not my soda machine gift!
[LAUGHING]
Judy!
Oh, no. Oh, no!
[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]
Tell you that much.
- I'm just...
- Yoohoo.
What the hell's your problem?
I'm just trying to get my head around
how I work my ass off for this family,
but I'm constantly the odd one out.
You wanna talk about it,
or just punch holes in
expensive soda machines?
[SCOFFS] Fine.
I wanted to do the Refugee Rose Welcome.
I sent Daddy a formal
email and everything.
Well, big deal, Judy.
The Refugee Rose Welcoming Ceremony
is a lame gig anyway.
Okay, then why won't he give me a chance
at some low-stakes sh*t like that?
[SIGHS] I don't know, Judy.
Maybe he just thinks that
you ain't ready for it.
Oh, okay. You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna go ahead and go get married
and get the f*ck outta Dodge, then.
I'm gonna move to Malibu Beach,
shave my p*ssy,
- learn to surf.
- Shave your p*ssy?
Why you gonna shave your p*ssy?
So I can surf faster, Jesse!
All y'all trying to suppress me,
tell me I can't shave stuff.
And Daddy is a d*ck.
Ooh, I'm gonna tell Daddy what you said.
- You better not.
- Yeah, I am.
- Off to tell Daddy.
- Jesse.
Jesse! I take it back.
I take it back!
Okay, I won't tell.
Okay, you better not. Gimme a ride.
Fine, hop in.
[ENGINE WHIRS]
- Just let me...
- Get in, what are you doin'?
- Jesse, let me in.
- Come on, get in.
Get in, I'm waiting for you.
- I'm trying to g...
- Go on.
Don't shave your p*ssy.
Your time will come.
Already did it.
f*ckin' tent has holes in it.
Least it's not raining.
f*ck off!
You have never lived a day
of hardship in your life.
You're just some spoiled
little f*ckin' rich kid,
and I am tired of this sh*t.
And I'm tired of your
f*ckin' family, man.
They are rude people.
Look, we were idiots for
driving around in the van,
all right? We got a little careless.
I'm gettin' my van back.
They got it locked up
in my uncle's garage.
They completely ransacked it.
- Scottie...
- f*ck! f*ck!
- f*ck!
- Hey, amigo, Keep it down!
Sorry.
Where's your old man right now?
We have acquired the
van of the blackmailers.
It is in our hands,
currently residing in Kelvin's garage.
We have conducted a very
thorough investigation
and we got a sleeping bag, set of tongs,
L. Ron Hubbard's "Dianetics".
- That's a fake bible.
- Utz Wavy Originals.
- I like those.
- Uh, some beans.
Some chicken noodle soups.
Soiled Q-tips and yellow,
crusty paper towels.
Mm-hmm. There'll be some
diseases living on that.
Basically just a bunch of trash.
It would appear that these folks
are not the sophisticated
crime syndicate we imagined.
- Mm-mm.
- In fact, it would appear
they are nothing more
than f*cking amateurs.
[RINGTONE CHIMING]
[PHONE CLICKS]
Now then, we have their vehicle.
- They were obviously living in it.
- [RINGTONE CHIMING]
- And when... Chad, is that your phone?
- Yup.
Silence it, please.
So we've dusted the
vehicle for fingerprints.
That's where you guys come in.
Who here knows somebody who can, like,
run prints against a database?
- [RINGTONE CHIMING]
- Whose phone is that, god damn it?
- It's mine.
- We're doing a damn g*ng meeting here
and everybody's got
their f*cking phones on
like we're running a
damn party line here!
We're not a g*ng.
- [PHONE CHIMING SOFTLY]
- Are you kidding me?
Levi, who the f*ck is that?
Unknown number.
Hang it up. Decline it.
[RINGING STOPS]
[PHONE BEEPING]
- [PHONE VIBRATING, BEEPING]
- Unknown caller.
[RINGTONE CHIMING]
Is the same person
trying to call all of us?
No, don't be silly. I mean,
who the hell knows that
we're all together here...
[PHONE VIBRATING, CHIMING]
Unknown number?
Let me answer it.
Go on.
[PHONE CHIMING, VIBRATING]
- Hello?
- Who the f*ck is this?
[DARK MUSIC]
♪♪
J. Gemstone. Who am I speaking with?
You forget how to answer?
You and your buddies don't know how to
pick up a f*ckin' phone?
Well, we're in the
middle of a meeting, so
you got us now.
I got something that belongs to you.
Yeah, you do.
You better not touch a f*ckin'
thing in there.
Better put all my sh*t back in there.
Then you're gonna drive that
van to a location I choose
because you just f*cked with
the wrong m*therf*cker, assh*le.
And if we don't, what then?
[LAUGHING MENACINGLY]
[LAUGHING CONTINUES]
You really wanna know?
I mean, that's why I'm asking.
I'ma f*ck yo life in the ass.
I'm gonna release the video.
♪♪
Okay, okay. Well, here's what I think.
I think that if you were
gonna release the video,
you woulda already done it.
I think that whoever you are or
however you got that footage,
you have failed.
I think you got jack squat, son.
- Don't test me.
- Ooh! Don't test you?
[LAUGHS] Why don't you come on down here
and get that f*ckin' van?
- I wish you would.
- [ALL MURMURING, SNICKERING]
Okay, next time I see you,
it ain't gonna be good,
'cause you're gonna f*ckin'
die, mothafucka.
[CHUCKLING]
Them big words coming from
a man living in his van.
Here's what I think.
You're a loser who's got jack sh*t.
You thought you were
gonna get rich from me.
And instead,
you got your f*ckin' ass run over
and your van stolen.
- [LAUGHS]
- If I was you, I'd piss off
and take a seat at the kids' table,
'cause you are gettin'
f*cked up here with the adults.
Do not mess with me!
Do you know the f*ckin' damage I can do?
Do you know what I can do with my body?
You wanna step up to
the f*ckin' Gemstones?
Good luck, bitch. Lose this number.
- [BEEP]
- Oh-ho-ho-ho!
- Whoo!
- He don't have sh*t, guys.
We're in the clear!
- Oh!
- Oh!
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
Oh, yeah! Uhh!
♪♪
The f*ck did he just say?
What the f*ck you smiling at?
Nothin'.
Judy, let's get started now.
Put 'em on, now. Stand up.
[SHOES THUD ON FLOOR]
There she is.
Now show Baby what you got.
Come on.
Well, that is if you feel
like you're up to it.
But maybe Eli pretends like
you can't do nothing 'cause...
well, you can't do nothing now.
Hey, dummy, what can you play?
- Huh?
- What can you play, dummy?
Oh, um, I can play
"This Little Light of Mine"
and "Toxic."
Both great. Pick one.
"This Little Light of Mine."
[JAZZY RENDITION OF
"THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE"]
♪ This little light of mine ♪
♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪
♪ This little light of mine ♪
♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪
♪ This little light of mine ♪
♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪
♪ Let it shine, let it shine ♪
♪ Let it shine ♪
[SHOES CLICKING]
♪♪
Stop!
[PIANO MUSIC STOPS]
- [LAUGHING, CLAPPING]
- [SCOFFS]
[INHALES, STOMPS]
Well, I always wondered
who your mama dripped
the talent juice down to.
There's undeniably something there.
It is undeniable,
which means it can't be denied, now.
I know what that means. I'm just...
I'm not used to people
saying I got talents.
- [LAUGHS]
- Well, you trust me.
I know talent.
[SHOES CLICKING]
I want you to come do a
Wednesday worth of shows
for me right here at Locust Grove.
- [STOMPING]
- We gon' get 'em up
out of their seats.
Feel it, now.
They gon' be screaming,
"Baby Billy, little old Judy Leigh."
Let's f*cking k*ll people.
Ha-ha! We back!
This'll be the last meeting of the g*ng.
We have outmaneuvered those
who wish to cause us ruin.
Mission accomplished.
Are we sure the blackmailers
don't have another
trick up their sleeve?
Matthew, this is about closure,
not about keeping people scared, okay?
- Yes, sir.
- Our secrets are safe.
And nothing bad happened.
- Well, I got sh*t.
- Okay, but you weren't k*lled.
So not that bad.
We assaulted that man at RimTyme.
Levi, come on, man,
nothing bad happened to us.
I can't control what happens
to other m*therf*ckers.
Look, after this moment,
we will never discuss any
of this ever again, okay?
[SOMBER MUSIC]
Each of y'all take one of these coins.
You didn't throw those away?
No, Gregory, I didn't.
Jesse, thank you.
♪♪
Here, boss.
I'm so glad we have these.
I will never forget.
Want you to take your coins
and chuck 'em into the water.
As the tokens sink to the bottom,
- so do our secrets.
- [SIGHS]
♪♪
[COINS PLOPPING]
♪ Hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah ♪
- Come on, Gregory. Throw your sh*t.
- ♪ Hallelujah ♪
♪♪
[SOMBER CHORUS]
♪♪
[SIGHS]
[LOON CALLS]
Now we really have did it.
♪♪
This whole thing is f*cked, Gideon.
Your father, that
assh*le, thinks he won.
And he's laughing at us.
That f*ck!
That fat, fat, fat, f*ck!
You know what?
I'm going over there to cut a bitch.
And then I'm taking my f*cking van back.
Scottie, if you do
that, the heist is off.
You don't get a dime, and he wins.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
[DARK MUSIC]
♪♪
You holding out on me?
Well, you squished yours.
That one's mine.
The f*ck is this?
It's a Slim. Just a smaller sandwich.
Fewer toppings, lower calorie count.
That one's my favorite.
Slim , tuna salad.
My Slim .
Kelvin, how's your Swahili comin'?
It's actually comin'
along pretty beautifully, Daddy.
Uh, I already learned...
[SPEAKING SWAHILI]
and "Karry-boo," so it's gonna be
pretty amazing. I'm excited.
- Hm.
- "Kareebu."
- Karibu.
- Karibu.
- Karibu.
- Yeah, it's kinda fun to say.
- All right...
- Right?
Look, I know everybody's
having fun saying karibu,
- but Daddy?
- Karibu.
Hey, Daddy? I just wanted to ask you,
did you happen to get the very
formal email that I sent you?
It started with "Dear Eli,"
comma, and, uh,
the body of it said a bunch of stuff
about how I was begging
you for a chance. [LAUGHS]
Your father receives many
correspondences, Judy.
Thank you, Martin. I'm talking
to my daddy right now.
I'm not talking to you. Damn!
Can you shut up for
once in your f*ckin' life?
Judy! You will not talk
to Martin that way.
What's gotten into you?
Just why didn't you write me back?
I'm in the middle of a meeting here.
I'm not dealing with this right now.
Yeah, Judy. Sheesh.
We're doing real work here.
Why don't you go restock
the church office supplies
or something, right?
Yeah, I probably should do that.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
- Get on out.
- [ANGRY MUTTERING]
- Ow!
- No...
- Stop it, stop it!
- Dad! Daddy!
- Enough, enough!
- I won't have you idiots
- act like this here.
- Judy. Judy, no!
Judy, this is why you're
not asked to speak.
This right here.
I give you a chance,
and you pull some sh*t like this.
Like uncaging a wild animal.
You're an embarrassment.
Well, Daddy, it's been forever
since you gave me a chance.
You just got one, and you blew it.
I was gonna say
that exact same thing, Daddy.
It's funny you said that.
Like, just now.
Just a second ago... "You had a chance,
- and then you blew it."
- Okay. [LAUGHS]
Okay, you know what? I would like to
make an announcement
before I leave for the day.
Leave for the day? You got work.
Well, I just felt a gush.
So I need to go buy some tamps
and go lay down. How 'bout that?
Put me down for a sick day, Martin.
- Another one?
- I want y'all
to know something.
I have been asked by our dear uncle,
Baby Billy Freeman,
to perform at Locust Grove,
and I have taken him up
on this offer because he
recognized talent in me
that I received from my mama. [LAUGHS]
And he has embraced me. Quite honestly,
it's a new feeling.
Oh, sweetheart.
Baby Billy doesn't think you're good.
He's using you to try to piss me off.
♪♪
Okay, well thank you so
much for your support, Eli.
It means the world coming from you.
Thank all y'all. Good night.
- It's daytime, dummy.
- Kelvin.
Um, look outside. It's bright as hell.
She's saying "good night."
- [GRUNTS]
- [SHRIEKS] Ah!
Oh! She ripped out my hairs.
[SIGHS]
sh*t!
[CLANKING]
Ki-yah, amigo.
- Hey.
- Hey, you got a moment?
Yeah, sure.
Look, I know that you and I have been
going through a pretty rough patch.
But I'm glad you came back.
I've been dealing with some bullshit,
personally,
and it's really made me understand
what's important in my life.
Uh, you're important in my life, Gideon.
[TENDER MUSIC]
- Okay.
- I don't know.
I just want you to know that just
'cause you and I
get into, like, arguments and stuff,
I still like you as a son.
Thanks... thank you. I, um...
I mean, I like you too, so...
Cool. All right, good, yeah.
Yep. Oh, were you going for...
No, I thought that you were gonna...
- We can just do it again.
- Well, I was just-okay.
If you wanted to.
- Okay.
- I was just gonna do
a handshake, but if you wanna do a hug,
- I'll give you a hug, man.
- Well, usually when people
approach you like that,
it's for a hug, so I figured...
Well, I didn't approach you like that.
I was coming in for a handshake.
- You had your arms wider.
- It's okay. I like you.
- I like you too.
- Okay, dope.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
I want to do something
nice for your mom.
Would you mind helping me out?
Sure.
[PLEASANT MUSIC]
Thank y'all for humoring me.
- I knew you'd like it.
- Oh, baby, I love it.
- This is so nice.
- We look like a family
of D-bags. What are these shirts?
- Hey.
- It's beachy.
Y'all stop. You look handsome, 'kay?
We are so blessed.
I just wanted to commemorate
this special time for us.
I mean, we've turned
a corner as a family.
Been through some rough patches,
but look at us now, huh?
Together, laughing, cuttin' up,
the way it's supposed to be.
- I love you guys.
- I love you, too, Daddy.
- Ohh...
- [CHUCKLING] Aww.
Come on, Xavier.
Time is money.
Let's show 'em those
Gemstone pearly whites.
♪♪
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪♪
Jambo. Welcome to America.
- Thanks.
- Welcome to your new church.
Jambo. Welcome to America.
Welcome to your new church.
I like the outfit. Jambo to you.
Welcome to America.
Hey, little one. Jambo!
Welcome to America.
Welcome to your new church.
There's no reason to be scared.
Don't be scared. Jambo.
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪♪
Ugh. I knew I'd find you primping,
you slippery son of a bitch.
Why, Eli Gemstone.
Surprised you made it down.
I know what this is all about,
using Judy like you are.
Oh, kinda like what you
did with Aimee-Leigh?
She had it all, now.
The looks and the brains.
Not to mention the moves.
And then you showed up outta nowhere
from a poor preacher's family.
Such humble beginnings.
And you stole her right
out from underneath me.
But look at you now.
Why, you richer than Lee lacocca.
But what about me, huh?
The man who was with Aimee-Leigh
from the very beginning.
What does ol'
Baby Billy got to show for hisself?
Nothing, that's what. Zero.
If you think you can get back at me
by using my daughter,
you got another think comin'.
I've bided my time, Eli.
Now, I am gon' get what's comin' to me.
If you will excuse me,
got to get in the zone!
♪ Mama told me not to, I did it anyway ♪
♪ Misbehavin' ♪
♪ Daddy said don't,
but I said it anyway ♪
[CAR HORN HONKS]
♪ Children of the corn ♪
♪ Children of the corn ♪
Sounds great, baby.
I'm not even doing songs yet, BJ.
Sure as heck better sound
better than this out there,
- or I'm done.
- You want some of this
- hot tea to help you relax?
- Mmmm.
Or, you know, I could help you stretch
- for the clogging.
- Know what you can help me do?
You can help me out by being good.
- What? I am good.
- Just get that ass out.
- Baby, hey!
- Get over there.
Ah! [GROANING] Ohh, ohh!
- Hey! Hey!
- Make those cheeks red, bitch.
- Settle down.
- What am I supposed to do, BJ?
Just stand in the corner and jack myself
like a f*ckin' monster?
I need a release, dude.
I'm skittish as a squirrel right now.
Come on, Jude, Just breathe, okay?
In. [INHALES] Out. [EXHALES]
That's what I'm trying
trying to get you to do,
go in and out on me with
that snowy white d*ck.
- [INHALES SHARPLY] Ah!
- Give it.
[HISSES] Calm down.
That's not how you're gonna get it.
God dang, BJ.
You're being such a assh*le.
Guess I'll just have to get
somebody from the audience
- to finger me.
- Yeah, okay.
I know you're kiddin', okay
And that's just the anxiety talkin'.
- Is it?
- So I'm gonna let that
slide over me like a fish.
I have something for you.
It's your start gift.
I know you were coveting
Kelvin's new soda machine,
and I wanted you to know you're
just as important as he is.
BJ, The thing is, Kelvin's soda machine
has all the sodas.
Don't worry, girl.
I got you a variety of different syrups.
You're gonna be awesome today, lollipop.
I just know it.
Whatever.
f*ck you. I love you.
I'm sorry, I'm nervous.
I love you.
I'm gonna go out to the car.
Why don't you stay here
and make yourself cum?
[EXHALES]
You are light. You are love.
[CROWD LAUGHING]
It's been a big night for Deacon.
- Can I get an amen out there?
- Amen!
Yes! Praise God today.
Praise Him today. Thank you, God.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
About to get even...
It's about to get even bigger.
You can believe that, 'cause tonight...
Tonight we got a special guest.
A special guest in Jesus Christ.
A Gemstone that shines
brighter than all the rest.
Let's give her a big,
Locust Grove round of applause...
Miss Judy-Leigh!
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- Yes!
Miss Judy-Leigh!
- Hey, y'all.
- Come on, now.
Hit it!
[BLUEGRASS PLAYING]
♪ Mama told me not to, I did it anyway ♪
♪ Misbehavin' ♪
♪ Daddy said don't,
but I said I'm gonna ♪
♪ Misbehavin' ♪
♪ Pies on the windowsill,
swimmin' in the crick ♪
♪ Catchin' crawdads and playin'
with a stick ♪
- ♪ I wore lipstick ♪
- ♪ And I got caught shavin' ♪
♪ Just two little country
kids outside misbehavin' ♪
♪ We thought we was
just messin' around ♪
♪ Till we met that man
in the thorny crown ♪
♪ He told us that tricks and
mischief leads to Satan, Satan ♪
♪ So from now on,
there's no misbehavin' ♪
Here we go, now.
[CROWD CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY]
♪♪
Come on, now. You got it now.
Come on out here, now.
Come on, Judy. Come on, Judy.
Come on,
look at all these people out here.
- Come on, now.
- [CROWD CLAMORING]
What the f*ck? Come on, bitch.
You got this, girl.
♪♪
Yeah!
♪♪
[TENDER PIANO MUSIC]
♪♪
He got it!
[ALL CHEERING, LAUGHTER]
- Y'all, I'm gonna get some dip.
- Okay, Mom.
- Get it, girl.
- Gideon's turn.
All right, Gideon. You're up.
- [PHONE RINGING]
- Give it up.
- Nice work. Nice work.
- Hello?
- Yes.
- Don't blow it.
Gideon, there's somebody
at the front gate for you.
- Come on, what's...
- For me?
- Come on, Gideon!
- What? No!
- That was gonna fall.
- [LAUGHING] Thanks, Ma.
[LAUGHING] Ah, Lord.
Pa, just watch out for the side pieces.
- That's how I messed up.
- Restack 'em.
- Hello?
- Hey, Gideon.
We got a fella out here
who says he's your buddy
all the way from LA.
Scottie, uh...
Steele. Scottie Steele.
We're in the entertainment
business together.
Steele.
You know him?
Gideon!
You knock it down, you gotta rebuild it.
- Them the rules.
- I know, I'll be right back.
- Okay to send him in?
- Um...
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪♪
Hey, Gideon. You there?
Should I let him in?
Okay.
♪♪
Make a right after the lake,
then it's just after the zoo.
- Thank you very much.
- Yeah.
Hey, you're kinda ripped.
You ever think about doing stunt work?
Me? No.
You should think about it.
Okay. He's good.
[GOSPEL VERSION OF "MR. GRIEVES]
♪ What's that floating in the water? ♪
♪ Oh, Neptune's only daughter ♪
♪ I believe ♪
♪ In Mr. Grieves ♪