♪ There's a hundred and
four days of summer vacation ♪
♪ and school comes
along just to end it ♪
♪ So the annual problem
for our generation ♪
♪ is finding a good way to spend it ♪
♪ Like maybe ♪
♪ Building a rocket,
or fighting a mummy ♪
♪ or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪
♪ Discovering something
that doesn't exist ♪
Hey!
♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪
♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪
♪ Creating nano-bots or
locating Frankenstein's brain ♪
It's over here!
♪ Finding a dodo bird,
painting a continent ♪
♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪
Phineas!
♪ As you can see, there's
a whole lot of stuff to do ♪
♪ before school starts this fall ♪
Come on, Perry.
♪ So stick with us, 'cause
Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪
♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas
and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪
Mom, Phineas and Ferb
are making a title sequence!
PHINEAS: It's a mystery, Ferb.
A riddle.
Whispering a secret to an enigma
while driving down a lost
highway in an Escher painting.
How do they get the
toothpaste into the tube?
Sometimes if you're lost it's
best to just go along for the ride.
[HUMMING ALONG TO MUSIC]
New Paisley Sideburn Brothers
Album. Don't make me bust!
And how do they get the red
and blue toothpaste to swirl?
[LOUD THUD]
Whoa.
Hmm. Apparently it just
fell out of the sky.
Well, I guess it's the only one.
Let's open it up and see what's inside.
Wow, it's a day full of questions.
- First the toothpaste, and now this.
- And of course where is Perry.
Yeah, see what I mean? We're
up to our armpits in enigmas.
Ah, Agent P, glad you're here.
Doofenshmirtz has been
incommunicado for far too long.
Either he's up to something big or
he's met with some sort of foul play.
Well, that was rather
abrupt. You know, sometimes I
feel like he just comes
here to get his assignments.
[LOUD CLUNKING]
Aw crud, that's the third battle a*
I've broken on this thing!
- Sorry about that, Dumpy.
- The name is Dumpamir.
Wow, the fact that we cannot open
it makes discovering the contents
- that much more tantalizing.
- I know, right?
Luckily, Ferb has been working on
a special Z-ray machine
that can see through any
substance on the periodic table.
It's highly experimental,
so you might want to
encase yourself in this lead body armor.
[FLASHES]
[BEEPS]
FERB: Well, we can't see into the
capsule, but the second mole has a cavity
and it looks like Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro
is making craploch tortillas.
CHORUS: # Doofenshmirtz
Evil Incorporated! #
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Hey, that's my lunch!
[TRUCK REVERSING] I think I'm
actually running out of ideas here.
And pianos.
Shall I go get a pipe organ?
I know the secret of
how to open that hatch.
- You do?
- I do.
You see, for generations
and generations,
the Van Stomm family has
been the guardian of the
secret knowledge and protectors
of the Mystery Capsule.
We make the th century Templars
look like a bunch of wusses!
And throughout the ages, our
family has pledged our lives
to conceal it from the unenlightened,
and in doing so, we were
entrusted with the only key
that can unlock the capsule's secrets.
- Really?
- Nah, I'm just messin' with you.
I found this on the
other side of the fence.
I saw it fall out of the lock when
the capsule dropped from the sky.
It's worth a try.
[BEEPING] Nice work, Agent P.
Carl is analyzing the
footprint sample you pulled
from Doof's living room
as we speak. [BEEPS]
We've analyzed the mud
and there seems to be a large number
of caffeine molecules in there,
along with some rain water.
So our only leads are
coffee and a rainy climate.
That could be anywhere!
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Uh, hello?
Anyone there?
Marco...
You're supposed to say "Polo."
There better be a satisfying
explanation for this
when it's over or I'm gonna
be merciless on my blog.
- PHINEAS: Yeah, baby!
- What mysteries does it contain?
[GASPS] Perhaps dozens of
stray Schrodinger's cats?
Well, I ain't cleanin' their litter box!
[HISSING]
[GASPING]
Why is it smoking like that?
- And why are we all tilted?
- Whoops, sorry.
You don't understand what you've done!
- Who are you?
- I'm you...
from the future.
[ALL GASP]
[GASPS]
Peter the Panda?
Oh, that was a good sh*t of me!
Oh, and that one. That one too!
Oh, that one, that one was terrible.
My nose looked all crooked,
it needed scribbling on.
MAN: Hello, Doofenshmirtz.
Hello, inky shape
hovering in the darkness.
- What gives?
- It is I, Professor Mystery.
- Okay...
- Peter the Panda never mentioned me?
No, but he doesn't
actually, you know, talk.
So, you gonna tell me
why you kidnapped me?
Uh, hello? I know you're still
out there, I can see your eyeballs.
What's with all the silence?
It's very off-putting.
Mystery is my allure.
Oh, this is gonna be a fun conversation.
Wait a minute, you're
me from the future?
What happened to my nose?
Never mind about our nose-es!
Listen to that!
If that hamster stops
running the black hole
will break containment,
reality will collapse,
and now you've exposed
my hamster to atmosphere!
It's only a matter of
time before he weakens!
Wait... you have a hamster
that's allergic to air?
- You must believe me!
- Why?
Because I'm you from the future!
Wait, I am not Indian in the future?
- Okay, I'm you from the future.
- That doesn't even make sense!
WOMAN: Stop telling people
you're them from the future.
- Who's that?
- That's just Denise, ignore her.
- She's no one from the
future.-e I heard that!
- Hi, kids, sorry for the intrusion.
- There's no time to lose!
Settle down, Bernie.
Remember your blood pressure.
BERNIE: What did I tell you?
It's happening!
- He's slowing down!
- Oh, let him.
I'm so tired of that
hamster running our lives.
[SIREN BLARING]
PHINEAS: What's that flashing?
That cannot be good.
Well, you did hit it
with a lot of pianos.
Seriously though, what's
with the kidnapping?
And why do you have an obsessive
shrine to Peter the Panda?
Because I am
Peter the Panda's nemesis.
- [GASPS] You're surprised?
- Well, yeah, of course.
I mean, come on, if I
knew he had a nemesis,
I would never want to be
the "other" evil scientist.
Ooh, an Inator.
So, what does it do?
I can't divulge that, because mystery...
Is your allure, yeah, yeah,
I know. So, do you tell
Peter the Panda your plans
before or after you trap him?
I just... I'm always
interested in process.
I don't tell him at all,
it would ruin the mystery.
- Which is my...
- But he's your nemesis!
He's got to know what he's thwarting!
I mean, that's just common
courtesy. What, you expect
him to infer it just from
your complicated back-stories?
Wait, don't...
Oh, no, don't tell me
that you've never even
given him a back story!
Well, there's your problem.
There's your problem right there!
- What?
- Lack of communication.
Give me a b*at!
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ You can can it with the mystery ♪
♪ You don't have to be so vague ♪
CHORUS GIRLS: # So vague #
♪ Give your nemesis some history ♪
♪ All the reasons you're a
rotten egg ♪
- # It's not enough just to
show him your device # - Ooh!
♪ You got to tell him what it does ♪
♪ I think you'll be surprised
at his attention span ♪
♪ He's the only one
who's gonna understand ♪
♪ You gotta tell him all of
your evil plans because... ♪
- # You've got to talk to him #
- Ooh!
♪ Tell him every twisted
scheme that's in your head ♪
- # Talk to him #
- Ooh
♪ You've gotta give him
some specifics he can dread ♪
♪ Talk to him ♪
♪ Don't just stand there like a rock ♪
- # He's got two furry ears so use them #
- # Use them #
- # I know you really want to bruise him #
- # Bruise him #
♪ But I think you're gonna
lose him if you don't talk ♪
CHORUS GIRLS: # If you don't talk #
[FLOURISH]
♪ Communication is the key ♪
♪ if you'd just open up you'll see ♪
♪ and maybe he'll stop
thwarting me if you just talk ♪
[MUSIC STOPS]
- How did you get chorus girls in here?
- They're a union, they'll travel.
[PULSATING]
There's only one way to stop this!
Listen carefully! [SQUAWKS]
- Hey, Denise, I found your bird!
- You did? Where was he?
He was in my beard. Anyway,
there's only one way to stop this!
[YELLING]
[ALL SHOUTING] No!
Quick, everyone, grab hold of the tree!
- Now what?
- Of course, this is the one time
an object has not disappeared
from the back yard!
Yeah, that's an annoying
break in the pattern.
Well, actually, that's not the pattern.
The pattern is that
they disappear after...
[ALL YELLING] Candace!
[GASPS]
Mom, Mom, Mom!
You're the last person I'm going to
take advice from, you nemesis stealer!
Even with musical accompaniment
you just don't get it.
Ugh, I'm gonna have to
spell it out for you.
It's not my fault that you
and Peter are having problems,
- it's yours.
- We'll see whose fault it is
once I activate my True Purpose
Shrouded in an Enigma-inator!
Because, in just a few
moments you will be zapped
and my vengeance will be complete!
Uh, yawn. I mean, I'd
be so much more concerned
if I understood what
the stakes were, man.
- You've... [SCOFFS] Man.
- [CRACKLING] Hmm?
Peter the Panda!
Wow, I never thought I'd be
so glad to see my nemesis!
Peter the Panda is not your nemesis!
Ah, you're right, he's
not even my nemesis.
He's more of a thwarty call.
Don't you diminish him like that...
Ooh! [GROANS]
[GRUNTS] See, he's thwarting me!
You mean nothing to him, Doofenshmirtz.
[GRUNTING] Yes, yes!
You see, this is good, isn't it?
What did he give you
that I couldn't give you?
An evil monologue, for one thing.
- What?
- Communication!
Oh, for crying out loud,
at least tell him what your
- Inator does! Huh?
- Oh, yes! It's an un-exist-inator.
What? Well...
Well, now I'm worried.
See? Communication works.
I can't hold on much longer!
The one day my...
[ANNOUNCER READING]
...are in the wash.
[ALL SHOUTING AND GRUNTING]
Hurry, Mom!
Come on, come on... What?
That did not hurt as much as I expected.
Yeah, you're welcome, people.
So my own parents accidentally
created a black hole and became obsessed
with containing it, eventually f*ring
themselves into orbit for fear
that they would jeopardize the planet,
but that even me in the process.
That is what motivated me to
become evil in the first place,
and eventually build
my un-exist-inator
which you destroyed tonight.
Wow, it really feels great
to tell someone all this.
- BOTH: Son!
- Mom, Dad, you're back!
Aw...
I want you guys to meet my
nemesis, Peter the Panda.
- You have a nemesis?
- Our boy's all grown up!
- Why is he a panda bear?
- Bernie!
What?
I was just wondering.
Come on, Perry the
Platypus, let's go home.
I talk to you enough, right?
Yeah, you're right, maybe too much.
Why don't you come in
for some snacks, kids?
And if you see your
dad, tell him to join us.
But, but, but... Fine.
You know, that was pretty intense, Ferb.
We could've blown up the planet,
or ripped open the space-time
continuum or something.
I just hope we didn't cause
any real damage. [ROARING]
Oh, hi, Dad. Mom has snacks
if you want to join us.
[BRITISH ACCENT] Ah, jolly
good, boys, I am a bit peckish.
Maybe there's some pie left.
Whoa, that was weird.
- Was that us?
- Couldn't be.
That Phineas had four white stripes
on his shirt and you only have three.
Good point, not to mention
our dad isn't a polar bear.
Come on, come on Stace, cover me!
We need to find the bridge
across the Dumbledown River
before that stupid gopher!
I've got your back, girl.
- Coin! Come on, come on!
- CANDACE: I'm on it.
[OINKING AND QUACKING]
Next. You did it, Candace!
Yes!
Third on the leader board, baby!
That digital Ducky Momo
trophy will be mine!
- Ours.
- Ours!
Candace, oh, good, you're up.
You have plenty
of time to tackle the list
of chores you left piled up.
But Mom, Stacy and I are
"this" close to kicking
leaderboard butt in
Ducky Momo golden quest.
Well, your chores better be done before
- I get back from running my errands.
- No problemo, Mom!
You're looking at the
queen of multi-tasking!
Just make sure you hit the
whole list, Your Majesty.
- See you later.
- 'Kay.
Ooh, ooh, squirrel bandits!
Ha! You lose, bro!
Eye shifts count! You moved!
Actually, you did too,
since our planet's orbital
speed around the sun is
, miles per hour,
and you are on its surface, and
speeding around the sun as well.
- Quit it!
- Cool hat, Baljeet!
Thank you,
I got it at Astro Camp today!
Quit turbocharging the orbital
speed of my solar system!
What? I'm racing 'em
against each other.
That's it! I know what
we're gonna do today!
- Smack Baljeet's hat around?
- No.
We're gonna build a solar
system and race the planets!
Only if I can still smack
around Baljeet's hat.
Hey, where is Perry?
Only you can make the
decision to succeed.
You've got to dig down deep within
yourself and grab a hold of your dream!
Go ahead, grab it.
I'll wait.
Oh, Agent P! I've been giving a
motivational speech to the interns.
- And by interns I mean Carl.
- CARL: Very inspirational, sir.
Anyway, Doofenshmirtz has rented
out a conference hall at the
Danville Motel Inn and is giving
some kind of motivational lecture.
Who would want motivation
from him is beyond
me, but, well, that's beside the point.
Pick up your credentials
at the front desk.
Good luck, Agent P!
I'm all hooked up and
ready to multi-task.
First on the list, wash dishes.
Now, where did we leave off?
I think we were heading into
the forest of the Grizzly King.
Are you sure you don't want to wait
until you've finish your chores?
Oh, please, Stacy, I've got
everything under control!
Let's tackle the Mountain King's dishes!
ISABELLA: Hey, Phineas, what you doing?
Ferb and I were just heading
up to our solar system speedway.
- We're gonna have a planet race!
- Cool!
The first one to complete laps
around the sun wins the Galaxy !
Technically it should be the Galaxy ,
but, you know, Galaxy
sounds so much cooler.
Ferb is racing Mercury,
the closest planet to the sun.
I'm racing Mars.
I saved Venus for you.
Aw, because Venus is
the goddess of love?
- Actually, I didn't even
think of that, but sure. - Ugh.
All right, racers, status check!
- BALJEET: Saturn, check!
- Yu-rah-noose, check.
Buford, that is not
how it is pronounced.
It is on this channel.
- IRVING: Venus?
- Intergalactic Planetary Racing Patch, check!
- IRVING: Mars?
- All ready!
- IRVING: Earth?
- Earth is ready to go!
- IRVING: Neptune?
- Check.
- IRVING: Jupiter?
- Check.
Pluto is go!
Albert? What are you doing here?
- Pluto isn't even a planet.
- That is still in dispute.
IRVING: Racers, start your planets!
[BEEPING]
Right out of the gate
the Earth is in the lead,
with Jupiter and Neptune
rushing up to the challenge,
but they take each other out!
The Fireside Girls maintain their lead.
Watch out for the falling
fiery marshmallows, Stace!
I'll turn them into s'mores
with my super sugar squeal!
[SQUEALS]
Bye-bye, Wonder Kid!
Okay, I'll go collect the
coins in the Cocoa Campground.
Now to get the laundry started.
CHORUS: # Doofenshmirtz
Motivational Seminar! #
Welcome, you lucky people in attendance.
I am Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz,
and I am here to introduce
you to my eight-step program
for ruling the Tri-State Area!
I... I mean, overcoming obstacles
on the path to self-fulfillment.
[CHUCKLES]
Right, nothing evil there.
Anywho, behold!
The Inator Method!
Hit it, Norm!
[MELLOW GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Maybe you're a loser who's
been sleeping in his car ♪
♪ Or a crazy person saving all
their toenails in a jar ♪ Nice!
♪ There may be many reasons
you can count yourself sub-par ♪
♪ But the biggest one is you
signed up for this here seminar ♪
♪ But I'm the guy who'll
give you all the answers ♪
♪ Sit back, relax and I
will cue my backup dancers! ♪
- # The Inator Method! #
- # It's the method with all the solutions #
- # The Inator Method! #
- # This is the one Don't accept substitutions #
♪ The Inator Method! ♪
♪ Soon you'll see that
the only conclusion is to ♪
♪ follow those impulsive urges ♪
♪ you know that you
want to purchase now ♪
♪ The Inator Method! ♪
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
That's what I'm talking about, yeah!
Perry the Platypus,
what are you doing here?
You're not supposed
to be here till Step .
You'll have to excuse me while
I confer with my visual aid.
I'm on stage so I'm going to
have to forgo the long backstory.
Suffice it to say, there was a
judge's ruling involved, okay?
Anyway, just take a seat in the
back and I'll cue you when you're on.
Perry the Platypus, ladies
and gentlemen. You'll be seeing
more of him later during the
"nemesis" portion of the seminar.
Oh, sweet! We made it to the Golden
Key of the Crumblebum Dwarves.
Candace! It's the Gopher!
I'll put a stop to you, you
gold key swiping go-fare!
Just get the key! Oh, aw...
- Stupid gopher!
- Now we're back to third place!
I guess we'll just have to
get him on the next level.
Did I put the...
Hmm, better clean than dirty.
I'm one totally focused
multi-tasking genius!
IRVING: It's a virtual dead-heat
with a planetary trine between
Mercury, Mars and Venus!
Phineas is out in
front by a pointed nose!
Well, check out the cool
inverted move from Ferb!
- Watch out, boys, Venus
is rising fast! - Whoa!
FERB: She went intra-Venus
right between us.
Okay, so now that we've got
the basics covered, we can
get the fun part. Let's start
with Trapping Your Nemesis!
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Nametag, you're it!
[CHATTERING]
The keys to a good trap
are the element of surprise
and also, if you can work in
a good pun that's always nice.
Uh, what about constraint
and effectiveness?
Yeah, that'll be covered in the
Thwarting Portion of our seminar,
don't... don't get ahead of yourself.
Okay, Step is the big reveal!
Behold, the Motivate-inator!
[MUSIC FLOURISHES]
Music sting, that totally ups the drama.
So what does it do?
I'm glad you asked!
You, come on up here.
I'll show you.
Let's give him a big hand for
being such a sport, shall we?
- All right, what's your name?
- Billy.
Great to meet you, Billy.
Tell me, what do you see over
there in the back of the room?
Uh... I don't know,
a table full of stuff?
Did everyone take note of
his reply? Totally lackluster.
But that's all gonna change.
Okay, Billy, now, hold still.
[zap]
Now what do you see, Billy?
[GASPS]
Inator Method Merchandise!
Tapes, DVD's, books,
audiobooks, now! Now!
T-shirts, hats, that is so cool!
I gotta have 'em!
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Now look
at him. All full of pep.
He's completely motivated.
Wait a second... He's just
motivated to buy your junk!
This is nothing but
a money-making scam!
Exactly! What better
motivation is there?
[AUDIENCE CLAMORING]
Nice work, Stace! That
last Megawallow in the
Razzleberry Swamp put
us back in second place!
What? I can barely hear
you over the vacuum!
Hang on, is that better?
[RIPPING]
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Test of audios, take one.
I came to this seminar with no
intention of buying anything!
And look at all this junk I bought!
Holy cow, I've bought a
lot stuff I don't need.
I just can't stop spending my money on
The Inator Method's
motivational products!
Whoo-hoo! With all
the cash I'm raking in,
I'll be able to take over
the Tri-State Area in no time!
Thank you very much, nice
doing business with you.
- DOOFENSHMIRTZ: And who do I make this out to?
- MAN: Uncle Phil.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: "To Uncle
Phil, wishing you the worst,
"Dr. Heinz Doofen..." Ow!
CANDACE: This is it, Stace! The
Golden Treasure of Utter Momositry!
Oh, no, you don't, leap of doom!
[OINKING AND QUACKING]
[BOTH CHEERING]
Whoo-hoo, we did it!
Oh, it's so beautiful! [BEEPING]
[DANCE b*at PLAYING]
# Awesome, awesome, awesome! #
♪ Awesome, awesome, awesome! ♪
Number one in the Momo Realm!
With time to spare for
an astronomical bust!
Buford is in the lead
with Baljeet close behind!
[LAUGHS] I am going to run
rings around you, Ice Giant!
- BUFORD: Bring it on, dweeb!
- Eat my dust, Buford!
IRVING: Ooh! The silent-but-deadly
planet has left for parts unknown!
[HORN BLARING]
And Baljeet wins the digital trophy!
Victory!
Perry the Platypus, hold still
so I can throw the book at you!
Ow! [BEEPS]
[BRAKES SCREECHING]
- Great race, Baljeet.
- Excuse me!
I don't normally run into
strangers' back yards but I'm
inexplicably motivated to buy your
solar system race track! How much?
- Five bucks.
- Sold!
- I'm home. How did you do on that list of... Ow!
- Mom! Mom, Mom, Mom!
You've got to see what
Phineas and Ferb built in the backyard!
- Candace, the living room!
- I know, I vacuumed.
- CANDACE: Come on, come on!
- The laundry!
- The dishes?
- All done and ready to be put away!
- Look!
- Hi, Mom. Hi, Candace.
Hi, kids. Well, at least
the backyard isn't a mess.
- What?
- Come on, Candace,
- you have a lot of cleaning up to do.
- But... But, but, but...
Well, that was a lot
of interplanetary fun.
- Plus, we made five bucks.
- We should put that in the bank.
At % interest, are you kidding?
- CHORUS: # Perry! #
- Aw!
Aw man, now I'm gonna have
to use the money I made
for repairs and medical bills.
[CROWD CLAMORING]
Now, wait, wait!
Ahhhhh! Perry the Platypus!
[CLAMORING]
♪ Maybe you're a loser who's
been sleeping in his car ♪
♪ Or a crazy person saving all
their toenails in a jar ♪ Nice!
♪ There may be many reasons
you can count yourself sub-par ♪
♪ But the biggest one is you
signed up for this here seminar ♪
♪ But I'm the guy who'll
give you all the answers ♪
♪ Sit back, relax and I
will cue my backup dancers! ♪
♪ The Inator Method! ♪