01x44 - It Wasn't Me, It Was the One-Armed Hedgehog

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

Agh!

Ohh!

We've never faced
an enemy so powerful.

Looks like
we've finally met our match.

We should never have doubted
the awesome skills and power

of... Dave the Intern?

[laughs]

And now my wrath
shall rain down upon you like...

um... like rain!

But painful rain!

Like when you're not
expecting it and then bam! Rain!

Now prepare to meet your doom!

Ohh!

[growling]

Aargh!

Agh! Please, Dave,
I'm begging you for mercy.

I have no mercy.

I work
in the fast food industry.

[laughs]

[woman] David,
what are you doing down there?

Nothing, Mother.

Are you gonna play
with your dollies all day

or are you gonna go out
and try to be a villain?

They're action figures.

And I am a villain, remember?

I'm a founding member
of the Lightning Bolt Society.

A bunch of losers! Why can't you
be more like that Dr Eggman?

He is such a wonderful
horrible person.

I'm horrible too.

You don't know what I can do
or what I'm gonna be.

You don't know. I'm bad!

I have bad things
that you don't know about.

I'll be evil, you'll see!

This may very well be
our most devious scheme yet.

Yeah, when people try to pick up
these coins we've glued down,

they'll be terribly
disappointed.

[all laugh]

Dave, you want in
on this sweet action?

Sorry, but my mom says I can't
hang out with you guys any more.

You're not a bad enough
influence on me.

[groans]

Ooh, a quarter!

Let me grab that
before the owner comes back.

Evil schemes...
dastardly plots... I've got it!

I may not have
super villain powers,

but maybe
I can replicate them.

Once I activate this freeze ray,

Sonic and his friends will be
immobilised in ice forever.

[laughs]

[all sigh happily]

Now, that's what I call
a cool summer breeze.

[sighs]

With this magnifying glass

I'll harness the power
of the sun to fry those fools.

[laughs]

Cool!

[disco music]

[sighs]

Minions of the jungle,

I command you
to att*ck and destroy!

[squeaking]

Yes! Nibble!

Nibble with... vengeance...

[happy squeaking]

- [groans]
- [clapping]

Wow. That's some A+ villainy
you got there, kid.

Did you learn nothing
as my intern?

Step aside, son,
and watch a master at work.

Feast your eyes on my brand
spanking new electro-cage,

a sure-fire way to capture Sonic
and his dingus friends.

Ooh! Villainy!

To be a super villain, you need
super villain technology.

What do you have?

A dinky cardboard helmet and an
employee discount at Meh Burger?

That's not true.

You don't get a discount
unless you're management.

I'm sick of everyone
saying I'm worthless.

- Ohh!
- [squeals]

Aargh!

Uh... what's going on?
Where am I?

[heavy breathing]

You're in
my evil underground lair.

Looks like a finished basement.

I said it was underground,
didn't I?

You'll never get away with this.

I bet Orbot and Cubot
are on their way to rescue me.

Do you get the feeling
something's missing?

- I don't know.
- Wait! I know.

My cup and ball toy.

Now I think about it,
I'd better get comfy here.

Breaking news
from the world of villainy.

Perennial powerhouse Dr Eggman

is no longer
the top villain in town.

We've received
this shocking video

from that loser who always gets
my order wrong at Meh Burger.

Dr Eggman
has been replaced by me,

the newest King of Villainy,
Dave the Intern.

No, wait. Dave the In-vincible!

Sonic,
as your new arch-nemesis,

I challenge you to battle.

Cower in fear before me!

[mother] David! Come upstairs
and try on your new pyjamas.

I got the ones
with the race cars you like.

Mom! You're embarrassing me
during my manifesto.

With me is Sonic the Hedgehog.

Sonic, what do you make of this?

Well, to be frank, I'm happy
to have Eggman out of the picture.

Ha! Hear that, Dave?

Sonic's happy
I can no longer att*ck him.

I win!
Oh, wait, I'm in a cage.

As for Dave... honestly,
he's never really been a thr*at.

Unless you consider serving
under-cooked beef a thr*at.

[both laugh]

Food-borne illnesses
are not to be laughed at.

- But Dave the Intern is.
- [both laugh]

- [laughs]
- Silence!

I'll show Sonic
not to laugh at me.

Oh, you get used to it.

All I need is a little muscle.
And I know just where to get it.

Don't even think
about going to my lair

and taking control
of my evil technology.

I was just gonna join a gym
and work on my biceps.

But stealing your technology
is a way better plan.

[laughs]

Why did I disrespect Dave? Why?

Vengeance shall be...
Come on, you stupid thing, turn!

Whoa!

Vengeance shall be...
Whoa!

He seems to think
vengeance shall be something.

I'm just not clear what.

This is really hard to watch.

Whoa!

- We got to stop that thing.
- I'm on it.

Stay here and keep Dave from
hurting himself and/or others.

I'm gonna heroically leave
to get help.

[grunting]

Grrr!

No wonder Sonic hates being
captured. This is unpleasant.

Next time I design a trap,
I should include some amenities

like magazines, a beverage
dispenser, shuffleboard...

Stuff to make the prisoner
feel welcome and appreciated.

Eggman, Dave is running rampant
with your Octopus-Bot.

He's not using the ink, is he?
Those cartridges cost a fortune.

That's how they get you.

Can I rescue you first?

Rescue me? I'm not getting
rescued by my arch-nemesis.

My friends
won't let me forget it.

- What friends?
- I got friends!

I don't need
to prove anything to you.

Just let me
break you out of here.

I can break myself out,
thank you very much.

- What's going on down there?
- Nothing, Mrs Dave's Mom.

- You almost got us in trouble.
- You started it.

Quit being a baby.
Let me rescue you.

- I'm not a baby!
- Don't make me come down there.

Oh, no. She's coming.

Fine, let me out.
The controller's over there.

Just don't tell anyone
you rescued me.

- Hey, guys, I rescued Eggman.
- Oh, jeez! Come on!

Whoa!

So, Egghead,
how do we shut this thing down?

Like I'm gonna tell you how to
shut down one of my robots.

Be careful!
I just had him waxed.

Ha-ha!
Yee-ha, I'm Billy the Echidna!

Ouch! Right in the tentacles.

You got to tell us
how to shut it down.

I don't got to tell you squat!

Oh, come on!

If you're gonna use the ink,
at least hit the guy.

Oh, man,
this is so gonna cost me.

Why don't you get
the off-brand refill kit?

Why don't I just flush my money
down the toilet while I'm at it?

Those things never work.

Fine,
I'll help you shut it down.

There's a switch between
the upper and lower beak.

Where's that?

On the undercarriage,
near the siphon.

It's basic Octopus anatomy.

You're not getting
anywhere near my undercarriage.

Whoa!

I'm finally gonna make Mom proud

by destroying
Sonic the Hedgehog.

I should capture this moment
for posterity.

Whoa!

Oh, he moved the mirrors
and changed all my presets.

And the change cup is empty.

I know I had money in there.

- [woman] Get me out of here!
- Mother?

David, are you responsible
for destroying my house?

[sighs] Yes, Mother.

That's a terrible thing
you did.

I am so proud of you!

So I'm not a loser?

No. You're... a villain.

I think our work here is done.
Come on, g*ng. Let's go home.

Hey! A quarter!

Ugh!

[all laugh]