01x45 - Robot Battle Royale

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

- What happened here?
- Can you be more specific?

Oh, the mess. Funny story.

It all began at Meh Burger.

Adequate burgers today.

Yeah, you can barely taste
the shredded newspaper.

Ugh! I said no mayonnaise!

Aargh!

Grrr! Oh, come on!
I don't act like that.

Hey, who's telling this story?

So, where was I? Oh, yeah.

We were so embarrassed
by Amy's uncouth behaviour

that we left Meh Burger.

- Grrr!
- Oh!

Everything OK, miss?

Are you...

Yep, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog,
fastest hero in the world.

Purveyor of justice. Righter
of wrongs. Eater of chilli dogs.

Ohhh!

Calm down, Perci. It's just
all your dreams coming true.

- I'm so sorry.
- Don't worry, I'm used to it.

Just breathe slowly and tell
Uncle Sonic what happened.

Clearly she fell off her bike
and hurt her arm.

Amy, don't be jealous because
I'm paying attention to another.

Don't mind her,
she kind of has a thing for me.

- Who wouldn't?
- Exactly.

Let's see what we can do
about that bicycle.

Knuckles, bring it over here.

That's a boulder.
I said bicycle.

But I'm not angry because
I know you're a simpleton.

Thank you, Mr Sonic.

Oh, my, Perci,
you've been injured.

I know what to do about that.
Lecture you on bicycle safety.

First, never ride a bi...

Amy, what Perci really needs
is a splint for her arm.

Wow, you sure know how to
take charge of every situation.

And voilà!

I couldn't find a bicycle,

but maybe one of us
could ride this to get one.

Sorry about your scarf.

I should have known
I'd mess it up.

I always do when I'm not under
Sonic's direct supervision.

Huh.

As a man I could fix this
with my bare hands.

But it would be quicker
with the proper tools.

To Tails' workshop!

Hey, watch out for that robot.

I'll bet she's a spy,

broadcasting our secrets
to her mechanical overlords.

You know, the ones who
make the microwave blink :

even though
you just set it yesterday!

Aargh!

Don't pay attention to her.
She's actually very nice.

Tails?

I guess he isn't here.

No matter,
I'll heroically repair this bike

with only my bare hands
and a welding laser.

- Amy, tend to Perci's injury.
- Mm-hm.

Knuckles, you clean the scarf
that you so carelessly ruined.

Tails'
industrial-strength lab kiln

seems like the perfect place
to dry a frilly delicate scarf.

This heating pad isn't enough.

Knuckles, get Perci a pillow.

You're not the boss of me.
Sonic is.

But I'm bossy and overbearing

and I need everyone
to do what I say

to compensate
for my insecurities.

Don't throw it at me,
hand it to me nicely.

Kids, behave yourselves!

This is why we can't
have nice things. [Sniffs]

So I stepped into action,
Sonic-style,

and put out the fire

caused by Knuckles
putting that scarf in the kiln.

That's not what happened.
I'll tell you the real story.

It had been days
since I last laid my eyes

upon the elusive white whale.

We're talking about
what happened to my workshop.

I'm getting there.

So, the white whale
had just trashed Meh Burger.

Wait. I'm the white whale?

Shh! We were heading back home
when we came across Perci.

As usual
Sonic made a fool of himself.

Hi, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog.

Never heard of you.

But who's your friend?

I'm just a humble echidna,

which is why I won't brag
about my boyish charm,

unimaginable strength
and ability to think real good.

You know, smartness-wise.

[grunting]

Whoa!

Wow!
Muscles and brain-smartness.

- I know.
- Ugh!

Medic, splint up
this pretty lady's arm.

I hope I can live up to your
expectations, Captain Knuckles.

Oh, Amy,
you've forgotten what an arm is.

This is an arm.

Wow, you are the whole package.

And here's the gift-wrapping.

Ohh!

[grunting]

Ugh!

[gasps]

Sonic, you clumsy oaf.
Perpetual second banana.

Look what you've done.

Come, my lady.

We must go to Casa de Tails
to repair your bicicleta

before Sonic
does any further damage.

Come on, guys, wait for me!

Hey, be careful of that alien.

She'll abduct our livestock,
phone home from our houses

and turn us all into pod people.

It's a cookbook! A cookbook!

Aargh!

Don't pay attention to her.
She's actually very nice.

Ohh! Aargh!

Sonic!
Can't you do anything right?

Your scarf will look brand-new,

but it'll never look
as lovely as its owner.

How does this heating pad work?
[groans]

A pillow for my maiden fair?

Hey, I'm the medic.
I'll give her the pillow.

I want to give her the pillow

so I can be
more like my hero Knuckles.

[both grunt]

Agh!

And so I put out the fire
using my ice-breath.

It started when Amy threw the
heating pad on those newspapers.

She's not very brain-smart.

That's not how it went at all.
I'll tell you what happened.

We all agreed the service at Meh
Burger was terrible, so we left.

That's when we ran into Perci,

with her little
damsel in distress act.

I seem to have fallen from
my bicycle and injured my arm.

If only there were some heroic
gentlemen to rescue poor me.

- [both giggle]
- You're pretty.

Would one of you handsome young
men kindly retrieve my bicycle?

[both panting and grunting]

- Whoa!
- Ugh!

Even with my friends under
the spell of a wicked siren,

I selflessly administered
medical care to the temptress.

Oh, you poor sweet thing.

Allow me to tend to your wounds.

Now, let's see to your bicycle.
I know where to get it fixed.

Watch out
for that government agent!

It starts with jury duty
and zoning ordinances

and before you know it... boom,

our tax dollars are benefiting
others and not us.

Don't pay attention to her.
She's actually very nice.

Aargh!

Sweetie, you rest here.

I'll get a heating pad
to make you more comfortable.

Knuckles, would you please
clean the scarf?

And, Sonic, maybe it'd be best
to just wait for Tails.

No way. I can totally fix this.

Watch this, babe.

My poor little arm
is aching so.

If only I had a cushion
on which to rest it.

[both grunting]

Let me give it to her!

She wants me to give it to her!

[both] Aargh!

As the only mature one in the
room, I extinguished the fire,

which started when Sonic forgot
to turn off his welding laser.

You're making that up!

- Reckless!
- A scarf in a kiln?

I can't help being attractive.
It's a blessing and a curse.

You'd think with three stories
one of you would get it right.

Now, let me tell you
how it really happened.

I had a minor accident
with my bicycle when...

Hi, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog,
hero extraordinaire.

You don't have a wrench
I could use to fix my bike?

No, but maybe I could interest
you in some gift-wrapping?

- That's OK.
- I can fix your bike.

No, I will.

You're just loving this, aren't
you? Having men fight over you.

A modern woman
could take care of herself.

I can take care of myself,

but like I said,
I don't have any tools.

And I hurt my arm.

I suppose you need me
to bandage that up for you?

No, it's just a bruise.

[groans]

[both grunting]

- Whoa!
- Ugh!

I need to get moving. Do you
know where I can find tools?

- Brrr!
- Nice to meet you.

Aargh!

She seems nice.

Allow me. You sit back and
relax while Sonic saves the day.

OK, I'll just wash my scarf.

Please, the honour is all mine.

Well, then,
I'll just rest my arm.

All right, all right!
I'll get you a heating pad.

Talk about a drama queen.

Would you like a pillow?

No! I'll get Perci a pillow.

Oh, now the princess
wants a pillow.

[all grunting]

[Tails] Hold it!

How did you get in here
in the first place?

We just walked in.

And there weren't lasers
or cages or anything like that?

Nope. Just a popping sound
and some electrical buzzing.

[sighs] I know what happened.

My new defence system
must have short-circuited,

which means I'm the one
responsible for the fire.

Classic Tails.
So irresponsible.

- Guess we're off the hook!
- Who's up for Meh Burger?

I like a guy who's handy.