01x09 - Robo-Carp-Alypse/The Reemen/Dr. D, Ghost Hunter

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: One boy...

Yeah!

NARRATOR: One worm.

You know it.

(GROANS)

(BEEPS)

NARRATOR: These are their adventures.

(ROARS)

(WHOOPING)

Sweet!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Whoo!

All right, yeah.
Pretty fun. Future-Worm.

(ALL CHEERING)

Yeah! Go, go, go!

-Go, go, go.
-Yeah, Bug!

(ALL CHEERING)

A tie!
It's all up to you, Ruby!

Go get him, Love-Not-w*r Machine.

It's all down to Robo-Carp, man.

You sure he's not gonna blow it?

No way he's gonna lose!

-(BEEPS)
-Robo-Carp!

I souped him up
and now he's ready to own these suckas!

You say that every time,
but he still blows up!

This time, he's sure to win.

And if he doesn't,

I'll put him in permanent retirement!

At least then you could start
winning some matches.

Tell me about it.

Whoa, mama!

Blast 'em, Carp!

Make me proud, RC!

Do you feel lucky, punk? Do you?

(SNIFFS)

(SNEEZES)

-Weak.
-Eh, consistency.

The winners are Paco and Ruby!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Whoo!
Peace wins the w*r.

BOY: Yay, Ruby!

(SIGHS) Sorry, Bug.

Looks like Robo-Carp blew it again.

That's loses in a row!

Has he really failed that many times?

I guess I had too much faith in Robo-Carp.

With all my improvements,

I really thought he was going to win.

And now, it's permanent retirement time.

Robo-Carp.

Don't worry, D.
Not your fault he stinks.

Or maybe it is.
I dunno.

Just throw the signal beacon in there,

so we can make sure he never comes back.

(SIGHS)

Look, we both tried
our hardest to make this work,

but I'm afraid it's over, Robo-Carp.

I failed to make you stop failing.

It's just not meant to be.

Affirmative!

Goodbye forever, Robo-Carp.

(SNIFFLES)

(SOBS) Weak.

Only one way to numb the pain

of k*lling your own creation...

TV.

Lousy lightning rods. (GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING) Stupid dark magic.

Wretched vengeance idol. (GRUNTS)

Robo-Carp!

MIRA FAYE: (ON TV) How could
you give up on us, Steak?

You're on your own, sister.
You failed me first.

We'll have our revenge on you

for giving up on us, Steak Starbolt!

(LAUGHS) Sorry there.

Thought this TV would, uh, cheer you up.

But, whoa...
Oops.

-(DOOR BELL RINGS)
-Huh?

-Did we order pizza?
-(SCREAMING ON TV)

I don't know. Maybe.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Incoming!

Or, uh... (CHUCKLES)

I mean, nothing!

-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
-(BOTH GASPING)

Robo-Carp!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Revenge!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

ROBO-CARP: Revenging. Revenging.

Oh, no!
It's locked!

Revenging. Revenging.

He's back from the dead to destroy me

for failing him in life!

I've dealt with this kind of thing before.

Only one way to stop 'em!

-(GRUNTS) Eat wicker, fool!
-Yeah. Eat chair!

(SIGHS) Glad that's over.

-(THUNDER RUMBLING)
-Huh?

(BOTH SCREAMING)

-That was probably nothing, right?
-(GROUND RUMBLING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Revenging! Revenging!
Revenging! Revenging!

Revenge!

It's a Robo-Carp-alypse!

ROBO-CARPS: (CHANTING)
Revenging! Revenging!

Whoa! What do you say we travel
back in time and undo this whole thing?

Great idea!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Or not.

(CHANTING CONTINUES)

There must be some kinda
robo-zombie disease

that's re-aliving all the Robo-Carps!

Hey, zombie apocalypses
are like forest fires.

Sometimes nature's just gotta
clean house and rebuild. Whoa!

Yeah... No, we should stop this.

Abracadabra. I'm cleaning the cabinet.
I'm cleaning the...

(SCREAMS)

Revenge! Revenging! Revenging!

Oh, pick a fight with me, will ya?

Eat stick, car!

(ALL GRUNTING)

-Robo-Carp!
-(ALL SCREAMING)

Revenging!

-(ROARING)
-(SCREAMING)

-Whoa, Paco!
-Yes!

-Your fear feeds my...
-Shh. Did you hear that?

-(RATTLING)
-It sounds like...

BOTH: Tap dancing!

Time to... Revenging!

-(BOTH SCREAMING)
-(PACO SPEAKING SPANISH)

(ALL SCREAMING)

ROBO-CARPS: Robo-Carp, revenging!

Why are you after me, man?

Danny's the one you want!
Go saw Danny!

-Revenging!
-It's Danny's fault.

It's Danny, I tell you!
Danny! Look for Danny!

Revenging!

Oh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Hey, Danny. What's up?

Nothing good, man.

Robo-Carp hates me
and I doomed the whole town.

(LAUGHS) At least you're not Bug.

She's probably stuck in a junkyard,

drowning in ticked off Zombie-Carps.

-Oh, no!
-Oh, yeah.

Get in, Presto.

Listen up, everybody.

If undead Robo-Carps are
trying to mosh your face,

meet at the junkyard ASAP!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

ROBO-CARPS: (CHANTING)
Revenging. Revenging.

You wanna piece of me?

Well, you ain't gonna get it, fool!

Fyootch, we gotta save Bug!

(SPITS) Watch me!

(GRUNTING)

-Take that.
-Oh, man!

I was gonna smash those.

There's plenty more, Bug.

And I got a plan
you're gonna like. To the school bus!

No way, I hate school!

-(GRUNTING)
-(PACO SPEAKING SPANISH)

(SCREAMING)

Preparing to tap-dance...

On your graves!

-Revenge!
-(SCREAMING)

ROBO-CARPS: Revenging! Revenging!

Hey, Zombie-Carps,
you want revenge on me for failing you?

Bring it on!

(CHANTING) Revenging!
Revenging! Revenging!

Now, Fyootch! (GRUNTS)

D is clear.
Blow it, Bug!

Yay! Take those Carps down!

You did it!
D, you're my hero!

Beautiful, man!

-(RUMBLING)
-Oh, brother!

(ROBOTIC VOICE READING)

Revenging!

Aw, come on!
Again?

Oh, well, zombies.
What do you want?

Revenging!

(ALL SCREAMING)

-(ALL SCREAMING)
-BUG: To the Bug Bunker!

Revenging!

Revenging!

Revenging!

Okay. This time we're doin' my plan.

The bigger the carp, the bigger the boom.

Revenging!

(SNARLING)

Light him up, Hank Flappington!

(SCREECHING)

No!

My poor lil' baby!

Hank's a lot more aerodynamic
than I gave him credit for. (LAUGHS)

Revenging!

Oh! This is all my fault.

Kinda ironic, huh?

Robo-Carp never won
a single match, but now he's unbeatable.

You're right, Presto,

he's exactly what I
always wanted him to be...

Danny, no!
What're you doing?

-Revenging!
-(ALL GASPING)

Yo! Mega-Carp!

Revenging!

Look, man.
I was wrong about you, RC.

You can kick major butt.

You KO'ed Hank Flappington!

You came back from the dead
like two or three times already!

I'm sorry I quit on you.

-Revenging!
-(DANNY GROANS)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Huh?

Put my maker down.

I am Robo-Carp Infinity.

Whoa! That ruled!

(DANNY SCREAMS)

Whoo!

Past-Danny, over decades, you learned from
my mistakes and perfected me.

My existence is proof
you do not give up on me.

And today, I return the favor.

How exactly did that work?

'Cause you did
give up on him. I was there.

Maybe 'cause I apologized, brah.

But, anyway, who cares?
Giant robot fight!

Oh, okay.

Whoo! He's doing it!
Robo-Carp Infinity is gonna win!

No, past-Danny.

He will continue to regenerate...

Unless I fly us both into the sun.

Uh, I mean the moon.

No! You can't!

But I will

to save the boy
who refused to give up on me.

No! Come back!

(SOBBING) Weak!

Wow! That was baller.

I think it's time
to put your boy back in the ring.

I think you're right, bug.

Robo-Carp.

(ALL CHEERING)

(NARRATOR READING)

DANNY: Halloween rules!

Jack-o'-lanterns, piles of candy,

-costumes...
-Scaring people!

-(YELLS)
-(SCREAMS) Monster!

Ah! Monster!

Your pops scares way too easy, Danny.

Man, I miss getting scared on Halloween.

We've seen so much crazy stuff

that ghosts and goblins
just don't cut it anymore.

We could go to Halloween .

Whole world
is pretty much a giant spider web

full of clowns that sneeze knives.

-Sweet!
-No candy though.

Eh, nah. Let's just
focus on getting these sacks fat, son!

Right on!

Hmm, pretty squishy.

But is it sticky enough?

What do you think, Doug?

Does this pasta feel
like bloody brains to you?

-(WHIMPERING)
-Oh, right. Sorry, sweetie.

You wanted the sleeping bag.

Are you sure you wanna
hide up in the attic again this year?

Yep! No reason
to break tradition. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

But you'll miss
the newest addition to Megan's

maze of the macabre...
A theremin!

(SHRIEKS) What's that?

An instrument you play...

(IN A GHOULISH VOICE)
...without touching it!

(HOWLS)

(SCREAMS)

Love you, too!

(THEREMIN PLAYING)

Okay. You got this, Doug.

Halloween is not that bad.

-(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
-Okay.

Oh, yeah.

This is like a new record.

We only had to visit,
like, three houses to fill up.

There's only
one true constant in this universe, bud,

-old ladies love old ladies.
-(CHUCKLES)

(YELLS) Boogie-woogie oogie-oogie!

Hey, Paco.
What's up?

Wait, that did not scare you?

I wish it did.

Don't get me wrong, it was awesome.

I just don't think
I can get scared anymore.

Yeah, and I never did in the first place

'cause, you know, I rule.

Come on!
Everyone's scared of something!

Like the dark, or snakes,
or when your mom turns out the light

before she tucks you in,
even though you tell her a million times,

tuck first, then light.

So what's you end game here?

You're gonna, like, make a bet

you can scare us
before midnight or something like that?

Indeed, worm.

Before the clock strikes : ,

you will know fear like never before.

So says Paco Colas, king of all monsters!

Paco, if you can scare me
and Fyootch tonight,

you can have both our sacks of candy.

-(BOTH CHUCKLE)
-Yeah. What?

Our whole haul?

What's wrong?
Scared you'll lose?

Bring it on, son!

I can't believe this only cost a penny.

They have such great deals at

Black Heart and Blood Stains
Asylum-slash-Music Supply.

(MOANING)

(MOANING CONTINUES)

-(GROWLS)
-(HISSES)

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

Behold, human!

We are the Reemen.
We have come to...

-(INAUDIBLE)
-(CHEERFUL MUSIC CONTINUES)

We will soon take over your universe.

We feed on fear!

-(INAUDIBLE)
-(CHEERFUL MUSIC CONTINUES)

We shall be unstoppable!

Open your ears.

-(SCREAMS)
-Ah!

Yes!

Your fear gives us power.

(SCREAMING)

(PANTS)

(SCREAMS)

FUTURE-WORM: (SCOFFS)
Well, look who it is.

(CHUCKLES) Pretty weak, Paco.

We saw you from outside.

(LAUGHS) Yeah,
you better step up your scare game, kid.

(REEMEN SNARLS)

(SARCASTICALLY)
Oh, no! Please don't hurt us, Paco!

(GIGGLES)

(GROWLS)

-Watch out.
-Oh, scared me.

We better run really fast away.

FUTURE-WORM:
Yeah. Well, he's about to get you.

(SNARLS)

(LAUGHING)

(BOTH GASP)

(MEGAN MOANING)

Mom?

-(PACO YELLS)
-(BOTH SCREAM)

Gotcha! (LAUGHS)

I am the winner!

(REEMENS GROWLING)

Um, I still get to keep your candy, right?

-(REEMEN SNARLS)
-(ALL SCREAM)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(GROANS)

(SCREAMING)

(STAMMERS) Where are my keys?

(SCREAMS)

Yes!

Mom! Can you hear me?

Where's Dad?

He ran away.

And his fear has made us stronger.

Doug, always uses his fear

to make monsters more powerful.

(STAMMERING) This is the car.

(SHRIEKS)

(ENGINE STARTS)

Oh, dear.

(SCREAMING)

Yes!

Now more of us can enter your world.

(GROWLING)

Turns out there is something I'm scared of

and it's happening right now.

And that's not all.

You will be our...

Whoo! Yeah, Dad!

(CHUCKLES) All right.
The car did most of it.

Danny? Megan?
I heard screams.

DOUG: You can scare me,

but nobody scares my family.

(ALL SNARL)

And I'm not scared to use this.

-(YELLS)
-(VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING)

Fyootch, the theremin
is keeping the portal open.

We gotta smash it.

Okay.
Up you go, bro.

(GRUNTING)

And I'm not afraid to use this attachment.

You want some of this?
I'll give it to you.

(GRUNTS)

No!

(PACO GRUNTS)

(GASPS)

-Mom!
-What's happening?

(SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

Slingshot me in, Fyootch.

You got this, Danny.

(SCREAMING)

Mom!

Danny!

-(PACO CHEERS)
-All right!

I did it?
I did it!

I saved everybody!

Take that, Halloween!

You did do it, honey.

And Danny, too.

Mostly Danny, really.

Yeah.
Calm down, Doug.

You waved the vacuum at 'em.

If anything, you made 'em
more clean and presentable.

(NARRATOR READING)

Greetings.

I'm Spooky Jenkins.

And you're watching Future Ghost Hunters.

Today I'm hunting the ghost of the mascot

of the cereal known as Captain Cakerz.

(SHRILL SCREAM)

I'll be assisted by
two leading Cakerz experts from the past.

Captain Cakerz rules!

All right, ghosts. That's cool.

Speaking of other annoying things

my producer forced on me,

let's bring out my partner.

The future's favorite
dino physician,

and TV phenomenon,

Dr. D.

Dr. D is on this show?
I love that guy!

Dr. D is sick!

I bet he'll crash
through the wall looking all scary,

but actually, like,
he's a super nice dude.

(ROARS)

(DISTANT HOWLING)

-(DR. D SQUEALS)
-(THUNDER CRASHES)

Wait, what's wrong with Dr. D?

Are you scared, buddy?
It's only lightening.

Yeah. That's just
the sky's way of being totally metal.

Hey, you cured my brain freeze,

so let me cure your bravery freeze.

Come on!

(GROWLS SOFTLY)

(DISTANT CREAKING)

Wait. You hear that?

-(TEETH CHATTERING)
-Don't worry, Doc.

When wood gets old it warps and creaks.

Think of it as a building beatbox.

Oh, really?

Well, if that's
not a ghost, then explain this.

Ectoplasm.

Nah. It's milk.

(SPITS) Skim milk.

You see, Doc?

Everything has a scientific explanation.

(SCREAMING)

Whoa!

All right, kid.

Wanna give us the science rundown
on that one real quick?

Maybe a draft from an open window

carried him away.

(BULBS SHATTERING)

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

(ALL SCREAM)

♪ After spring, it's summer ♪

♪ After summer, it's fall ♪

♪ After fall, it's winter ♪

♪ Now we've named them all ♪

♪ Those are all the seasons ♪

♪ That you get in a year ♪

♪ Then we get the equinox ♪

♪ So let's start again my dear ♪

Now let's see who's behind all of this.

Old Man Jenson?

It's Jenkins.
Spooky Jenkins!

Called it.

Ratings were in the t*nk

and this dumb dino doc was forced on me.

I thought if I could scare him away

everything would go back to normal.

Well, he's not scared anymore.

But he does look pretty hungry.

Ever try Captain Cakerz?

-(DR. D ROARS)
-(JENKINS SCREAMS)

(ROARS)

Like I was saying,

there's no such thing as ghosts.

You haven't seen the last of me!

(CLANGS)

Can't move through walls?
What a rip-off!