01x10 - Steak Starmom/Lemonade's Last Stand/This Week in Future Science

[bunniefuu]

-NARRATOR: One boy...
-Yeah!

NARRATOR: One worm.

You know it.

(GROANS)

(BEEPS)

NARRATOR: These are their adventures.

(ROARS)

(WHOOPING)

Sweet!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

-Whoo!
-All right, yeah. Pretty fun. Future-Worm.

Thanks again for giving me
the day off from work

to spend time with Danny, Karen.

KAREN: (OVER PHONE)
Actually, we really need you here today.

Yep, you gave me the day off.

Can't wait to surprise Danny

with tickets for Neil deGrasse Tyson!

-(SQUEALING)
-I did not give you the day off

and I'm not gonna say
I gave you the day off.

Megan...
please come in to work...

BOTH: Steak! Steak! Steak! Steak! Steak!

-Danny.
-Danny!

Heyo! Hi!
Earth to Danny!

(STUTTERING) I got us...

(SIGHS) ...Tyson tickets.

FUTURE-WORM AND DANNY:
Steak! Steak! Steak!

-Danny. I took today off work...
-You did?

Us too! You know how Fyootch and I

have been searching all over the future

for the virtual reality
Steak Starbolt game?

Uh, no, but...

We finally found it!

And we're gonna spend the day

kicking it with virtual Steak Starbolt!

MAN: (ON TV) Steak Starbolt!

STEAK STARBOLT: (ON TV)
I'm the best in virtual reality.

Nothing in all of space-time is gonna stop
this Steak-kick sesh.

You hear me?

Nothing!

(CHUCKLES) All right.

What're you gonna do, Mom?

Actually, I got tickets
to a special science talk with...

Aw, you love science! That's perfect.

We're both gonna have perfect days!

Have the most fun, Mom-o-Mom-atron!

(SIGHS)

Come braise the steaks
with me, Steak Starbolt,

onto a journey, with me,

through my beautiful space!

-Here we go!
-Oh, yeah!

Let's braise the steaks!

Oh. That's a cleaver play
on "raise the stakes."

This looks fun.
How about I join you?

Sweet!

COMPUTER: Please select avatar.

-FUTURE-WORM: Nah. Already got this guy.
-Nope.

Next.
What's that all about? Nope. (CHUCKLES)

There's not much there either.

Yeah, no, pass.
Eh, come on, what is this?

Wait, whoa, whoa...

What's he do? (SPITS)

Heck with this!
I wanna play as myself!

COMPUTER: "Future-Worm" avatar selected.

Yeah, why'd we be anybody else?

COMPUTER: "Danny" avatar selected.

Wait. This isn't like one of those

die-in-the-game-
die-in-real-life type things, is it?

COMPUTER: You have selected

Die-In-The-Game-Die-In-Real-Life mode.

BOTH: Undo, undo!

Deselected
Die-In-The-Game- Die-In-Real-Life mode.

(GROANS) Can we just play already?

Reckless and hostile.
Just how I like my crew.

Remember, Danny and Future-Worm,

the only way out of the game is to win.

That doesn't sound ominous at all.

-Let's rage with steak.
-Oh, yeah!

COMPUTER: Loading...

Cool, I'm in -D!

Hmm... No one here.

Steak! Yo, Steak, where you at?

Can you hear me?

Danny, can you hear me?

Hi, it's your mom.

Come with me, Steak Starbolt,

onto a journey, with me.

Well, if it's the only way
to spend my one day off with Danny...

Ah! (SIGHS)

COMPUTER: Please select avatar.

Danny wanted to hang out
with Steak Starbolt, huh?

Oh, which one's Steak? Hmm...

Not you.
Ugh, a wall.

Who would pick that?

(GASPS) There he is!

COMPUTER:
"Steak Starbolt" avatar selected.

Loading game.

(IN STEAK'S VOICE) All right!

(GIGGLES) Whoa!

My voice...

Smart move, choosing
the best person for every job, me.

Remember, the only way out
of the game is to win.

Now that doesn't sound ominous at all.

Time to go hang with my son.

Ah. Cool!

Operating this should be

a piece of virtual cake!

Whoa!

Whoa!

(GRUNTING)

Oh! Curse word!

COMPUTER:
Mission: Rescue the Scientist activating.

-Whoa! There he is!
-All right, finally!

(HUMMING)

Danny! Fyootch!
This will be so much fun!

Can you see who I am?

Steak sounds weird.

Uh-oh. Maybe that
Bezonian merchant on Tau Ceti sold us some

cruddy bootleg version!

Aw, man! If Steak's
not exactly accurate to the show,

it defeats the whole purpose of the game!

But, Danny, I'm...

I'm...

I'm Steak Starbolt!

Give me a hug, officer!

-Really?
-Uh, okay...

Oh, come on, Megan, you can do this.

Oh, dear...

Time to tenderize.

COMPUTER: Finishing Move!

(GRUNTING)

You k*lled Fyootch!

Uh...

(LAUGHS) All right!

That's the Steak I know and love!

Ha, you got me
real good, Steak! I deserved that.

This rules!

Yes! I can do this!

-(ALARM BLARING)
-We're receiving a distress signal

from starship Fatemaker.

We need to rescue
the scientist, Dr. Laboratorius Cytoplasm.

Your orders, Steak?

Anything could be in there.

Let's probe the ship for monsters.

No. Wait. Let's try
to communicate with them.

No. Wait.

Let's call home base for help!

Aw! Game's a knock-off after all!

No! It can't be!

I've waited too long for this.

Maybe it just needs to get warmed up?

No! I can do this!

COMPUTER: Finishing move!

FUTURE-WORM: Oh, man!

Ow, no!

The real Steak would only k*ll me once.

This is a phony!

Oh, boy.

Me? No! I'm just gonna go freshen up.

Uh, use the powder room.
I'll be right back!

-(HUMMING)
-Rip-off!

I don't wanna mess up
my one day of fun with Danny.

Hmm. What would Steak Starbolt do?

Computer, upload Steak's
personality to my brain!

COMPUTER: Warning! Command could corrupt
your game system.

And your brain system.

Danny wants Steak,

then Steak he'll get.

Braising the steaks!

Whoa!

Time to tenderize!

Listen up!

We're gonna ride
a turbo-pedo into that ship.

Then we're gonna tenderize
anything with a butt. Butt, dead. Got me?

Doesn't matter.
We're doing it,

so shut up and let's go.

Cool!

Boom! Now we're talking!

So, Steak Starbolt, are we gonna rescue
that scientist or what?

(GRUNTING)

Yes! We're going to
spend the day together.

(LAUGHING)

I'm Steak Starbolt.

-Uh...
-Huh?

That was a little weird,

but, uh, ridin' in turbo-pedos sounds fun!

All right, let's go!

I always wanted to ride

-in one of these things.
-DANNY: Cool!

Computer system. Launch turbo-pedo.

DANNY: Yeah!

Whoo! This is the best day ever!

Because we're spending it together.

What now, Steak?

Split up to search, then meet back here?

No! We're spending
the day together, remember!

Whoa, momma!

Momma? I'm Steak! Steak Starbolt!

-Oh!
-Yikes!

-(FAINT WHOOSHING)
-(GASPS)

STEAK STARBOLT: Parasitic emu morphs.

(GRUNTING)

In your face! Eat meat!

All done.
No need to split up.

(GRUNTING)

This game's kinda
weirding me out, Fyootch.

Let's just rescue
Dr. Cytoplasm and end it.

No, that would ruin
our perfect day together.

We're going to stay here.

Together, forever.

-Uh...
-Oh, that's never good.

(CRACKLING)

Uh-oh. There's something
wrong with the game.

-It's glitching out!
-Blast 'em!

Lasers aren't working!
Stupid cheap rip-off game!

Follow me!

I should've listened to Dad

when he said videogames were gonna be
the end of me.

-Yeah.
-Oh, man!

Don't worry, fellas.

I got this.

How many lives I got left?

One left.
You gotta work something out.

Okay, that didn't work.

I hope Mom's day off
isn't as doomed as ours.

Oh.

(SIGHS)

Oh, Danny,
what have I done?

I'm sorry, Danny.

I just wanted
to be with you because I love you.

Uh, Fyootch, Steaks getting
really weird over here.

You gotta fix this, Megan. (GRUNTING)

(YELLING)

Mom?

Yeah. It's me. I'm...

I'm sorry I ruined your game, Danny.

I just wanted to spend time with you.

I'm always at work

and, gosh, I don't know...

Maybe I'm not the best mom.

Are you kidding? No way!

You are the best mom!

I love spending time with you!

Danny!

Uh, don't want to sour the sentimental
stew brewin' on here, but...

We can't leave the game till we win

and, uh, in case you didn't notice,

uh, we're not winning.

DANNY: The game's gone full-glitch!

There's gotta be a hack
or a cheat code or...

Oh... What did Steak say?

(GASPS) Oh. Computer, braise the steaks!

Congratulations.
You've just braised the steaks, soldier.

(COMPUTER SYSTEM SPEAKING)

Ba-bam! Good call, Mom.

Let's rock n' roll!

Yeah, come on!

Ooh, bite on that.

-Yeah!
-Yeah, I'm k*lling aliens with my son.

(DANNY AND FUTURE-WORM YELLING)

Sick sh**t', Mrs. D!

Boom! Dr. Laboratorius
Cytoplasm, here we come!

This is awesome!

DR. CYTOPLASM: Help!

Help...

(SHOUTING)

He's a glitch too!

(GROANING)

It's not working!

I'll help you real good,

with my titanium abs, sucker!

(GROANS)

Uh, glitch update.
The game actually hurts you now.

Mom, use your finishing move!

Finishing move?
I don't know how to.

I know!
Give me a hug, Mom.

Uh, guys, it's getting closer.

(YELLING)

(COMPUTER SYSTEM SPEAKING)

(YELLS) Help!

-We did it!
-(ALL CHEERING)

-Yay!
-Best mom ever!

Way to go, Danny.

-Way to go, wall.
-(BOTH CHEERING)

(COMPUTER SYSTEM SPEAKING)

COMPUTER: You will now be returned
to the computer-simulated hologram

you perceive as reality.

(ALL GROANING)

-Dad!
-Doug?

Were you in the game?

Uh, yeah,

I was just doing
some vacuuming, and next thing I knew,

I was a wall.

What? The wall that k*lled the scientist?

Big whoop.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

You saved us!

(CHUCKLES) Oh, well,
only because you sh*t me, honey.

You're the real hero!

(GASPS) Oh, Danny,

I got us tickets to see
Neil deGrasse Tyson speak,

but we missed the lecture.

Aw, Mom! That's so cool!

But don't sweat it.
We see NDT all the time!

-You know Neil deGrasse Tyson?
-Duh.

I couldn't help
but telepathically-overhear

of your virtual reality experience.

Professor Jim Gates
discovered computer code

-embedded within string theory--
-Oh, my God!

I'm your biggest fan.

COMPUTER: Future-Worm!

Whoa, hey!

It's me, Professor Gigglesnorp.

Check me out.

Hey, whoa!

You like video games,
playin' 'em, fun times?

Get this, a new...
The best game!

Quest Venture . !

Only $ . !

It's so good you'll be like, "What?"

Ooh, ooh!
I wanna be like, "What?"

Here's to months of pinchin' pennies
and quarantinin' quarters.

Unleash dat stank, piggy bank!

Ba-bam!

I owe you, dude.

Aw, man. Now how am I gonna
buy that game from the TV

and be like, "What?"

(DOUG WHISTLING)

Oh. Hello, boys!
You know, when I was a kid,

the best way
to make money was with a lemonade stand.

Great idea, Dad!

Yeah, let's get rich!

(KIDS CHEERING)

Man, if we're gonna
get mad cash,

we need an original take
on this hacky trope!

I know just the thing.
Follow me!

All right, quick rundown.

It's the year . You got toxic
death clouds, dystopian governments,

and, fun fact, no lemons.

We got a lemonopoly!

-Ka-ching!
-Ka-ching.

Lemons are illegal,
human scum! Prepare for pain!

What?

What do you got against lemons anyway?

As if you don't know,
subversive human scum.

There's the last lemon.
Get it!

You the scoundrels that's got them lemons?

Yup! Got one left.

Hop in!

Let's blow this lemonade stand, Fyootch!

It's your lucky day, tailwaggers.

(GROWLING)

Whoops!

They've got the last lemon!

After them!

That was sweet!
Uh, I'm Danny and this is Future-Worm.

And were those dogs wearing pants?

(STAMMERING) And, um...
Also, yeah, who are you?

Excavator Angrita.

Toughest gal in New Dog City.

(FUTURE-WORM SCOFFS)

Nice to b*at you! (GRUNTING)

Dude, she saved us.

Wha... You mean she's tougher than me?

Those dogs were Canine
Aggression Troop Soldiers, or CATS.

With the help of CATS, which are dogs,

they seized control of the planet.

They only got one weakness.

How dumb they look when they lick lemons.

(SNIFFING)

(GRUNTING)

(DANNY AND FUTURE-WORM LAUGHING)

DANNY: He's freaking out.
Look at him!

I know, right?
I can't even... (CLEARS THROAT)

That's why dogs banned them.

With the help of your lemon,
dogs will look so stupid

their government will collapse.

I'll give you anything for it.

Does "anything" include future-bucks?

Think bigger, kid.

Plus tax.

Final offer!

-Deal.
-Kid, you're gonna get to say, "What?"

Whoo-hoo!

I can pay you when we get to The Farm,

our hideout where we farm and hide out.

Sweet! New video game
that makes me say, "What?"

-Here I come!
-Uh-oh.

DANNY: Oh, no.

More dogs, I mean CATS!

(BARKING)

Halt!

This looks like a job for...

ROBO-CARP: Robo-Carp!

Sit. Stay.

We're looking for a contraband lemon.

Have you seen one?

(SNIFFING)

A family and their so-called baby.

We'll see. (GROWLS) You're the mother?

Affirmative.

And you're... (SNIFFS)
And you're the father?

(MIMICS ADULT) Uh, yes.

Can't you see the resemblance?

What's this, a tiny snake?

Yeah, we got a zoologist on our hands.

(SNIFFING)

Is that...

(BOTH GROANING)

...a lemon?

(LAUGHS)

I'm just kidding!
Coochie-coochie-coo!

I got two of my own.
Is it a boy or a girl?

Aw, weak.

(BARKING) We got a lemon over here!

Hey, dog! Go fetch!

FUTURE-WORM: (CHUCKLES) Dumb dogs.

But, uh, seriously, where'd it go?

Your kindness will usher in

a new era of refreshing lemonade for all,

and also no dog overlords.

Or scurvy.

Totally welcome.

Now, if there isn't
anything else... (CLEARING THROAT)

Oh, yeah. Here's your
very specific reward, Danny.

(DOGS BARKING)

It was only a matter of time
before they found our secret hideout.

Join our last stand, Danny!

Oh, brother.

Without your help, humanity is doomed!

(DOGS BARKING AND GROWLING)

Yeah, I don't know.

Listen to your heart.
It knows the right thing to do.

(VIDEO GAME PLAYING ON TV)

They'll be fine, right?

(DOGS BARKING)

(MAN SCREAMING)

We fight till the last human!

-You came back!
-Yeah, and here's the plan.

Let them destroy the tree.

-What?
-Trust me.

We can't let them destroy the tree,

it's humanity's last hope!

Wait for it!

Wait for it!

Sheesh, Louise!
Where'd all my lemons go?

Squeeze it, Fyootch!

When life gives you lemons,

squeeze 'em at dogs!

Huh?

Oh!

(GAGGING)

(SQUEALING)

(DOGS YELPING)

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

-It worked!
-Yeah!

(ALL CHEERING)

MAN: Take that, canines!

(SCREAMING) It burns!

My eyes!
Shut it off, shut it off!

Ow, my eyes!

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

(HUMMING)

Hmm...

(CONTINUES HUMMING)

(GASPS) Oh.

Hmm.

(CRACKLING)

Oh, my.

Oh. Yo, Brad.
Scope it.

(MACHINE BEEPING)

Whoa, Rad, that's rad.

Wicker's sick! Okay.

BRAD: "Madeline Madison."

Okay. Legit.

Oh, let's see what's for lunch, Maddy!

NARRATOR: This week in Future Science!

(GRUNTING)

Whoa! A simple slug!

We should put it through...

BOTH: The genetic escalator!
Whoo-hoo!

COMPUTER: Saccharine Sweetness.

Yeah.

COMPUTER: Acid Slime.

Indestructible rubber-enforced body.

NARRATOR: This is Strawberry Slug!

(GIGGLES) Indeed!

Whoa! We haven't done
anything this dumb in weeks.

(GIGGLING)

Sick!

Super sick!

We'll send him back in time

to make sure Maddy never has

a boring day again!

Oh! Oh! Yeah!

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

(HUMMING)

(WHIRRING)

Are you from the future?

(GIGGLING) Indeed!

What a lovely little beast you are.

I shall call you Strawberry Slug.

Oi!

I'll be havin' that
pic-a-nic basket now, lass.

Hmm, no.

What? You wanna
take a tumble down that well?

No, but I think you ought to.

Oh, you're gonna be sorry.

Old Jack'll see to that!

Stand your ground, Madeline!

Huh?

You're a slow, lazy nitwit,

and you'll be sorry
you ever crossed Mad Maddy Madison.

Yeah! Use your words to show... Oop!

-Ha!
-(GRUNTS)

Good night, Old Jack.

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING) I'll be back!

-Huh?
-BRAD AND RAD: Whoa!

(CHUCKLES)

Sure you will, you daft old wally.

-(STRAWBERRY SLUG GIGGLES)
-(MADELINE HUMMING)

(ROBOTIC VOICE) I'll have me revenge
on you, Strawberry Slug!

NARRATOR: Future Science!

(MUSIC PLAYING)