01x13 - Future-Worm and the 54 Days of Snordfest/Lost in the Mall

[bunniefuu]

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Whoo!

All right, yeah. Pretty fun. Future-Worm.

NARRATOR: The Snords of Snordville

lived happy, peaceful lives, until...

The Gobbler's here, that hungry beast!

And now I fear that we're his feast!

(ROARING)

Oh, no, this frost! We cannot see!

Our lives are lost! What hope have we?

Glow-Worm, with your magic glow,

will you guide us through this snow?

You know it!

(ALL GROANING)

(YELLS)

(SNARLING)

NARRATOR: Learn the true story

behind the Snords'
most treasured holiday.

And see how one brave worm's dancing

saved them all from a gobbling in...

(NARRATOR READING)

FUTURE-WORM: No!

(GRUNTING) I thought I told you
to stay out of my "stuff to burn" box!

Sorry! (CHUCKLING)
I was looking for firewood, and...

You starred in a future musical
holiday movie?

'Course not! Different worm!
Doesn't even look like me!

NARRATOR: Starring Future-Worm.

That's right, the Future...

Why are you freaking out, dude?

You're a movie star!

Pssh, movie joke is more like it.

The picture bombed hard.

So, who cares?
It's not like you made it!

NARRATOR:
Written, directed, edited, scored,

and financed by Future...

(GRUNTS)

-(PANTING)
-Whoa! Take it easy, dude.

I used to love Snordfest.
Exchanging jarps.

Lighting Snord sticks.

Celebrating a worm's selfless sacrifice
for Snordkind.

But it turns out
I started a new Snord tradition.

Making fun of the
Days of Snordfest Musical.

Ah, nuts to the haters, man!

You can love Snordfest again if you try...

No! Everything's tainted now.

I'll never Jubilee Two-Step again!

Snordfest is stupid!

Wait, you'll never what?

-(VOCALIZING)
-(CROWD CHEERING)

(SINGING) Snord

To escape death
we've got to dance!

The Jubilee Two-Step's
our only chance!

Uh, yeah, that sounds pretty wack.

(GRUNTING)
I should've torched this junk years ago.

Also, I'm gonna need
to erase your mind.

Just the last minutes or so.

Whoa, whoa, wait, wait!

How about instead of burning stuff,
we re-ignite your love of Snordfest

with a trip to where it all began!

Mmm, you're right.

We should go back to
the origin of Snordfest

to stop it from happening!

What? No!

What about all the joy
and love and self-sacrifice...

Over it!

Just gotta find Glow-Worm
and send him packing.

No Glow-Worm, no Snordfest, no movie.

But without Glow-Worm's glow
to lead them through the storm,

what'll happen to the Snords?

(CHUCKLES) Gobbled for sure. You in?

No!

Great, let's go.

There he is.

The lowly jarpenter, destined to...

Well, destined for nothing soon.
(CHUCKLES)

Hello!

I snord you are snording a good snord,
my fellow Snords?

Pssh. You even know
what you're saying?

Snord, care for a jarp?

Not even real words.

You know, we'd love some jarps.

Future-Worm here is a big fan of jarps.

-And of you...
-(GRUNTS)

Sorry, Gee-dub, kid's...
Uh, don't listen to him.

Look,
this jarpenter thing is going nowhere.

Just do the world a favor,
and leave town, and go...

Uh, become a dentist.

(EXCLAIMS)

How do you snord my secret dream?

Uh, just a guess.

Not usin' future knowledge
or anything like that.

No! You can't abandon
your jarpenter stand!

Hmm. Perhaps I need time to think, I...

(YELPING)

(GROANING)

(GASPS)

Oh, no!

Boom! (LAUGHS) Have a merry Snordfest!

Hey, you set that up!

I ate a banana.

What happens to the peel
ain't my problem. (LAUGHS)

-Excuse me.
-(GASPS)

Where's Glow-Worm?

Lil' Larry!

From the movie!

And he's even more lovable in real life.

I was told his glow
might warm my broken soul.

Nope.

Now my sadness will be infinite.

(CRYING)

-Aw, don't cry!
-Oh, brother.

-(GASPS)
-Glow-Worm's right here!

Turn on your visor. You'll glow!

-Why would I do that?
-Look how sad he is!

-I'm not bein' Glow-Worm again!
-Dude!

-(BOTH CLAMORING)
-I'll never tell you how it glows!

(GOBBLER ROARING)

What in Snord...

The Gobbler!

(GASPS) What's a Gobbler?

Enjoy your afternoon!

(WHISTLES)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Why is it snowing in the desert?

And why does that monster want to eat us?

I don't know,
that stuff wasn't in the trailer!

Don't worry, Lil' Lar',
Glow-Worm will save us! Fyootch!

(GOBBLER ROARING)

Uh, BRB!

Dude, come on!
We gotta save the Snords!

Making a sacrifice will get
your Snord-spirit levels jacked back up!

Pfft. Snord-spirit's dead, kid.

Now, where'd you park the lunch box?

I can't see a dang thing!

Then you better turn on your visor light,
so we can find our way.

Oh, good idea.

Oh, what's that, Fyootch?
You're a little chilly?

Kinda, yeah, hmm.
Wait, wait, wait. What the...

Do you feel the Snord-spirit
flowing through you yet?

Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!

(GROANING)

(GASPS) Look! It's Glow-Worm!
He's here to save us!

-You bet your snord he is!
-No, I'm not.

Come on, everyone!
Follow Glow-Worm to safety!

Get outta here!

Yeah, get outta here

by following Glow-Worm!

(ALL CHEERING)

(SIGHS)

I think we finally lost the Gobbler.

Yep, yep, that's great.

Thank you, Glow-Worm,
for leading us across the desert.

I'm not leading anybody anywhere.

We just happen to be...

Escaping in the same direction.

But it is awfully Snord-festive of you

to make such a selfless sacrifice,
Glow-Worm.

And I know one Snord
who'd love to meet you.

Lil' Larry's lil' sister, Lil'er Lucy!

Glow-Worm!

Nope, for the last time, I'm not...

Oh, boy.

I love you, Glow-Worm.

Uh... Mmm.

Yeah. Come on, kid. Yeah, all right.
Enough... Enough hugging.

(SIGHS)

(ALL SNORING)

-(GOBBLER ROARING)
-The Gobbler!

Huh?

Fyootch? I mean, Glow-Worm!
Where are you, man?

Glow-Worm left us.

We're doomed!

(ROARING)

No, no, it's okay. It's okay.
He's probably just taking a snord!

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Lil'est Lily. (GRUMBLING)

Pssh. Who needs Snords? Not me.

FUTURE FUTURE-WORM:
Look at yourself.

-What the...
-You! You look like a failure.

You can't even ruin
the events that inspired

the beloved holiday
that you ruined with a terrible movie.

Hey, I'm soul-searching here.

I need advice, not a verbal b*at-down.

Yes, more like that.

-You are a coward.
-What?

You're afraid of the Gobbler.

I'm not afraid of the Gobbler.

You're afraid of the Gobbler.

I'm not afraid of the Gobbler.

I'm afraid of the Jubilee Two-Step,
and being humiliated all over again!

Oh, dang.

Use your love of Snordfest
to conquer your fear.

Yeah, hmm.

How about I use these abs
to conquer your face, sucker!

(LAUGHS)

(SPITS) Dang!

Stupid conscience always bein' right.

Well, at least we figured that out,
before the Gobbler caught up.

(SNORDS SCREAMING)

I'm comin'!

I'm snording!

Run for your snording lives!

(YELLING)

Fyootch, I could really
use some Snordfest spirit right about now!

Aw, dude! Who'd you eat before us?

Rancid-mayonnaise people?

-Here.
-(ROARS)

(YELPING)

Fyootch!

(ALL SCREAMING)

Hey, Gobbler!

It's me, Future-Worm. I mean, uh...

Uh...

Glow-Worm!

It's Glow-Worm!

Glow-Worm!
I knew you had it in you!

Ever hear of the Jubilee Two-Step?

Uh, no.

'Cause it's the last thing
you'll ever hear.

(SHOES CLACKING)

(VOCALIZING)

(CROWD MURMURING)

Uh...

(SINGING) Jubilee Two-Step for you

-What's happening?
-We're all doomed.

(VOCALIZING)

Maybe I should just let him eat me.

-(ROARS)
-Fyootch!

You gotta believe in Snordfest!

(ROARS)

(DANNY SCREAMS)

(EXCLAIMING)

Huh?

-I did it!
-(SNORDS CHEERING)

I saved Snordfest!

-(COUGHING)
-Snord, snord, snord!

Give it up for Glow-Worm!

Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure that
was an unrelated cosmic event, Fyootch.

No way!
That's the magic of Snordfest!

-(SNORDS CHEERING)
-I want to snord it from the rooftops.

I love Snordfest!

You know what?

You're right, you did it, buddy.

No, Danny, you did.

You reminded me of what it's all about.

You're the snordest friend I ever had.

We should celebrate
this every year in a holiday called...

"Jarple-graf Furpin-derp"!

Uh, okay.

Uh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, sounds good.

ALL: Jarple-graf Furpin-derp!
Jarple-graf Furpin-derp!

(ALL CHEERING)

Jarple-graf Furpin-derp!

(GRUNTING)

-You!
-Uh-oh.

(YELLS) There was a banana peel!

What is this? ?

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

It's Holiday Eve!
This is a time for family.

-Not...
-Move it.

-(GRUNTS)
-Let me through!

Get out of the way!

Mindless v*olence, mister!

It's not mindless v*olence, honey.

It's shopping!

Yeah! So, come help push, Doug.

Do we need to be a part of all this?

'Course, it's the last day Coffee att*ck
is servin' their seasonal latte flavor.

(SPITS) I like lattes.

Well, you're in luck, sir,
'cause I make a mean latte.

Yuck! I pass!

Oh, that sounds so nice, honey.

As soon as I see how my new toy,
the Action Figure Chair, is selling,

we can go right home.

But I just wanted a nice night at home
by the fire,

so we could slow down
from this holiday chaos

and just enjoy each other's company.

(GRUNTS) It's no use, Fyootch!

I'm never gonna get a copy
of Lettuce Delivery !

Lettuce Delivery was, like,
the best game of all time.

This has gotta be like, like,
like-like-like-like-like...

Danny! Get a hold of yourself!

I'll get us through this mob.

Hey! (WHISTLES)

They're giving out free, uh...
They're givin' out free money!

Yeah, over there!

ALL: Free money!

(SCOFFS)

ALL: Free money!

(LAUGHS) Dummies don't even know
money's not worth anything.

-(GRUNTS)
-(BOTH GASPING)

(ELVES CACKLING)

Who wants free gingerbread cookies?

(ALL GASPING)

Gross. Who wants gingerbread? Bleh!

ALL: Gingerbread!

-Uh-oh!
-Ahhh!

They're turning back!
Make a break for it!

Danny, hold it!
Wait for your mother!

I'll just go, uh, relax in
the Scented Candle Co-op!

-(GRUNTS)
-ALL: Gingerbread!

Huh?

Hey, he's got the last cookie! Get him!

-(CROWD SCREAMING)
-(YELLS)

One seasonal latte, please!

One gingerbread latte,
coming right up!

(SHUDDERS) Gingerbread?

(SPUTTERS)

(GASPS)

Wha...

No!

You... You're all sick!

(YELLS)

Ahhh!

What kind of monster
drinks bread? Bleh!

(ALL CLAMORING)

(GROANS)

This is taking forever!

-(ALARM BLARING)
-What's happening?

Is it a crazy sale?

Oh, they better
not be marking down Action Figure Chair.

MAN: (ON PA) Warning!
Mall over capacity!

Please stampede the nearest exit!

(ALL SCREAMING)

-(SCREAMS)
-Ah! Ah! Ah!

Look out, everyone!
Look out! I'm coming through!

(GRUNTS)

I lost out on Lettuce, man!

(ELVES CACKLING)

FUTURE-WORM: Cookie Goblin!

(SIGHS)

Doug!

(GRUNTING)

(SIGHS)

Megan, Danny, where are you?

Did they leave me here?

Oh! Maybe I d*ed in the stampede.

But I better call, just in case I'm alive.

Ahhh! A ghost!

-(YELLS)
-(CHUCKLES)

I'm sure their lost-shopper insurance
will cover that...

Why didn't that goofus
answer his cellphone?

I implanted a tracking chip in Dad
for just such an occasion.

According to this GPS,
uh, boom!

He's safe and sound
in the security office lost and found!

Oh, thank goodness, he's safe.

Typical Doug.

Whole place to himself,
and he goes to hang out with mall cops.

Uh, I'm not saying we should stop there,

but Toyasaurus Rex is on the way...

And Doug does love
to rummage through the lost and found.

Do whatever you want.

I'm going to fix myself up a proper latte
with peppermint.

-(GRUNTING)
-MAN: Hey, dude.

(SHRIEKS)

What are you,
some kind of spy or something?

Is that why you had a tracker
embedded in your neck?

What? No!

(CHUCKLING) See, my son
implanted this tracker in me and...

(SHRIEKS)

Did you take it out?

Duh. We put it in
the lost and found.

And that's not all
that's gonna wind up there,

unless you start to talk, spy.

(HESITATES) I'm no spy!

Listen, my family left me
by mistake, I think.

But they'll be back soon.

Yeah, right.
What kind of family forgets someone?

-(LAUGHS)
-(CHUCKLES)

It's true.
They wanted to shop,

but I just wanted a nice night
at home by the fire,

so we could slow down
from this holiday chaos and just...

(SOBS)

Just enjoy each other's company.

That's so sad.

But you're safe with us, lost one.

You can join us in our...

(WHISPERING) Secret mission.

Your what?

(BOTH GROANING)

Ouch. Could've told you,
action figures don't need chairs, Mrs. D.

That's, like, action figure .

Okay, here's the deal.

We formed this group this morning.

Why?

Because we like belonging.

And we like acronyms.

"G.O.T.H.S."?

What is our mission?

To find out who's behind this.

Someone is trying
to replace regular human families

with fake gingerbread ones.

-Uh...
-We're fighting for families,

because ours never fought for us.

Or, I don't know, we could just chill here
and listen to music.

Whatever. (GROANS)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
I certainly respect your, uh, mission,

but I have to go,
my family is worried sick!

I assume.

About that.

As part of our operation,

we also gained access
to the live mall security feed.

(INAUDIBLE)

Shopping?

How... How could they?

Join us, Doug.

Guardians of the Holidays
needs purists like you.

But you have to prove yourself

by kicking them out of the mall.

(WHIMPERS)

What is it? (GRUNTS)

Are you bread, or are you cookie?

'Cause you sure ain't a man.

Come on, dude. Dad's waiting!

-DOUG: But I'm not waiting anymore.
-(ALL GASPING)

-Dad?
-You kiddin'?

That's right, it's, uh...

It is I.

Did you pierce your nose?

We sell clip-ons.

Also, hi, Megan.

Thanks for saving my planet.

P.S., I work at the mall now.

So, yeah. That happened.

Hi, Ennuisha!
It's so nice to see you on Earth!

We'll have to...

No! Doug Douglas, what is going on?

It's true. I'm part of the G.O.T.H.S. now.

That's, um, Guardians of the Holiday...

...s.

All right. That's my cue.
I'll be in the car.

Mrs. D, keys, please?

We're on a mission to protect families
from a gingerbread conspiracy.

Oh, hey, I'm listening.

Sweetheart, did you get brainwashed
into joining a secret society again?

Blink once for yes. Twice for no.

I didn't get brainwashed! You did!

You got so caught up in wanting stuff

that you forgot what
the holidays are all about.

Family and putting other people
before yourself!

We're sorry! We rushed over when...

Rushed? You stopped for a latte!

If I knew it was gonna take this long,
I'd have gotten two.

Just go!

-(BOTH SIGHING)
-(SCOFFS)

Bye, Megan!

Okay, text me.

Hey, snap out of it, dude.

They left, like, a million forevers ago.

And you should have left
when you had the chance!

(SHRIEKS)

-ALL: Mrs. Claus?
-Wait, who?

(CACKLING)

Mom?

Are we really gonna
have holiday morning without Dad?

No.

No!

We let your father down.
We're in the wrong here,

and we're gonna make this right!

Just in time. Need a re-up.

(YELPING)

Oh, my son's gonna have
a gingerbread dad.

That's the point!

Everyone's going
to have a gingerbread dad!

-And gingerbread moms!
-(ELVES CACKLING)

And gingerbread children!

I'm going to tear down
and rebuild every family in this town!

Why would you do that?
I love Megan and Danny! They...

Abandoned you!
They don't care about you.

No one cares about their families!

Everyone just wants stuff!

I'm going to give them something better.

Throw the switch!

(YELPING)

No!

-(GRUNTING)
-Megan?

You came back for me!

Oh, honey, you're the only
holiday present I need.

Gingerbread!

-(POWERS DOWN)
-The jig's up, Santa!

"Santa"?

You think Santa could build
an army of gingerbread elves? (LAUGHS)

(ELVES SHRIEKING)

Wha...

I made gingerbread
the flavor of the season.

I made gingerbread
the official sponsor

of the Shop-A-Lympic Mega-Sale.

I made people trust the brand...

Wait, are you the Bread Baron?

See, he's a nemesis of ours.

Ever see the Old Man Duck Head video?

Long story, anyway...

-Are you?
-What? No!

-Phew.
-I'm the Bread Baroness!

-(CACKLING)
-Huh?

She's got gingerbread
for a head. (LAUGHS)

Indeed!

My ex-husband Bread Baron failed
because he thought too small!

He thought gingerbread wasn't a real bread
and left me for a little French croissant.

But I don't need him.

Or anyone else! (CACKLES)

Whoa, 'cause your marriage collapsed,

you're, like, really lonely, huh?

I'm sorry, man, that's a bummer.

No, I'm just... You're wrong!

I'm doing the world a favor!

They'll be glad to have
new, better families.

Families you can eat, if they upset you!

-(ELVES GROWLING)
-(CACKLING)

No! There's no replacement for family!

And the holiday is about taking the time
to show them you love them,

-flaws and all!
-Huh?

Dad!
We could never have a holiday without you!

(SIGHS) I love you guys so much.

Aw, I love you guys, too.

Let me in on some of that huggin'.

Now let's break some bread!

You, uh...

Suckers!

(ALL YELLING)

FUTURE-WORM: And so,
empowered by their love for each other,

and all the living beings on Earth
and the great beyond,

they pummeled the gol' darn daylights
out of ol' BB's cookie army,

and, well,
they saved the holidays for you and me.

Mmm, old holiday tradition,

always puts him right to sleep.

Happy holidays, y'all.

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)