01x14 - Devil on Bug's Shoulder/Assassin Parrot/The Never-Ending End of Time

[bunniefuu]

-NARRATOR: One boy...
-Yeah!

NARRATOR: One worm.

You know it.

NARRATOR: These are
their adventures.

(ROARS)

(WHOOPING)

Sweet!

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

And it turned out Fyootch was right!

The parrot really was a robot assassin.

What? So what did you do?

Teamed up to whoop its bird butt
up and down the block, son!

Fyootch saved my life.

What would I ever do without you?

-Get assassinated, probably.
-(BOTH LAUGHING)

(GROANS) It's not fair.

You guys go on all kinds of kooky,
crazy time-travel adventures,

and I'm stuck here
with no one to best bud high five.

(FRUSTRATED GRUNTS)

(PANTING)

Quit it, Hank!
You're messing up my coveralls!

Fetch! (GRUNTS)

(METALLIC BARKING)

I feel bad, man.

Bug is always stuck hanging solo
when we future trip.

What? You wanna bring her?

Remember what future-you said?

ALL: If we ever take Bug
into the future,

the entire universe will collapse
into a black hole.

I know.

But maybe we can get Bug
a best bud of her own.

Do not say Barl to me.

Oh, new idea! Better than Barl.

Yo, Bug!
Got something for ya!

(STRAIN GRUNT)

Go on, Hank. Go and play
with your chew toy.

Ba-bam!

"Good for one free bestest bud."

What am I supposed to do with this?

Give it a second.

Greetings,
I am General Archibald Couponocus

of the Intergalactic Consortium
of Couponery!

Remember me? Coupon Guy?

Yep. That's me. And...

(SNIFFS) I do detect
a phony coupon!

You're a phony!

You phony baloney buster! (GRUNTS)

(GROANS) What are those?

Steel toe?

Fine, fine. Give it here.

I'll authenticate it.

But only because Danny
is such a good friend of mine.

Good looking out, G-Coup.

Wow! My own best bud!

Oh, this rules!

Oh! Thanks, Danny.

(SQUEALS) You're the greatest!

Yep. You're a good friend, Danny.

In fact, you and Future-Worm
are some of my closest bosom pals.

To celebrate me doing
your shin-kicker friend a favor,

what do you say the three of us amigos
have a night on the town!

BOTH: Uh...

-I've got coupons for days, players!
-BOTH: Oh!

Free everything all the time!

-Free, you say?
-Better watch out!

You just ran into the party train!

-Ho-ho!
-FUTURE-WORM: Nice!

-DANNY: Yeah!
-Cupe, coup, and upon!

Finally, a loving buddy pal,

who will watch my back
and take me on crazy adventures!

(GROANS)

Hey! I'm Bug. What's your name?

Want to be best friends?
Good, 'cause we are!

Huh? Where am I?

-(LOW GROWLS)
-(SCREAMS) Get it away!

No! Bad Hank!
This is my new friend.

I got him free from a coupon.

And his name is
Snowpants Haberdash Junior.

Haba-what?

My name is Mr. .

Formally Manchovy's
right-hand snowman.

Currently, freelance hench person.

(STRAINING) Stop being all aggro, Hank.

He's not stepping on your pet status.

He's an innocent little snowfella,

and our new friend!

-(GRUNTS) Stop!
-Yikes!

Uh, look, kid. This isn't exactly
the arrangement I was looking for.

So, I'm gonna mosey on out...

(SCREAMING)

Oh, come on!

Stupid unbreakable magic coupon bond!

I know you don't like the kennel, Hankie,

but you can't eat my new bestest pal

before we've even had one adventure.

Right, Snowpeas Hab-dash?

Couple of things, short stack.

One, I don't do cutesy nicknames.

Two...

But Future-Worm
lets Danny call him Fyootch!

Uh-uh, hold up.

You know the Future-Worm?

Well, why didn't you say so?

I've been trying to get rev...
I mean, catch up with that guy for ages!

(LAUGHS) Can I call you Mr. Twootch?

M-Tweezle? Oh! Twelvis Presley?

(WHIMPERS)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(ENGINES REVVING)

That trophy's ours, Fyootch!

Yeah! This race is gonna rule!

And you know what rules even more?

A free trophy!

(CHEERING)

Uh, still think the actual race
would have been more fun.

Scrub-a-lot!

Think of all the time and effort we saved,

but if you're still upset, have this.

(BOTH GASP)

Mmm! Can you feel the savings, Danny?

(SLURPS)

Okay. So, are you sure
the kid and the worm didn't say nothing

about stashing no gems nowhere?

You know, like, a, "Collect 'em all
and rule the Universe" type of thing?

Yeah, Danny did tell me
about this one time,

his teacher, Mr. Zarlid,
made him go on a quest,

but he said to keep it secret.

Oh, come on!

There's nothing
you can't tell your best pal,

Mr. One-Two Boogaloo Head.

(SCREAMS)

(ALL LAUGHING)

Quit it, Claude!

(CONTINUE LAUGHING)

Hey! Leave the kid alone, will ya?

What are you going to do about it, huh?

You know? I'm glad you asked, meathead.

-(GRUNTS SHARPLY)
-(EXCLAIMING)

Frozen water! My only weakness. (SOBS)

(LAUGHS) You barfed snow all over him!

(CHUCKLES)
Oh, you're the best, Mr. Midnight.

"Midnight?" Not bad, kid. I kinda like it.

All right, where were we?

Oh, yeah.

You were gonna tell me about the gems.

(SCREAMS) No!

Thank you, General.

You saved us from what would have been
a perilous, albeit thrilling, adventure

across space and time.

Looks like you won't have to be deputized

into the Galactic Knight's Watch
after all.

(GROANS)

Can we go home now?

-Yeah, I'm out of coupons anyway.
-Finally!

Psych! (LAUGHS)

(BOTH GROAN)

Why do you care so much
about a bunch of stupid gems anyway?

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

-(LAUGHS)
-(SCREAMS)

Now I can rule
the whole ding-dang universe!

Uh, friendship bracelets.

-Cool!
-Yeah.

Uh, excuse me? Young lady?

I don't believe I've seen you here before.

Are you a student?

Nope. Me and Top Hat Twizzly
are on a gem quest.

But it's super-secret.

So... (SHUSHING)

Oh! Pardon me.
Carry on, carry on. (CHUCKLES)

Wait a second.

You're Mr. !

Manchovy sent you to destroy
the Gem Force Five HQ, didn't he?

Uh, I feel like
there's a lot of backstory I'm missing.

Are there some beans
you're, like, not spilling?

Oh! Glad you asked.

I have been trying to build a team,

led by a Chosen One,

to gather the gems
of mystery and space.

To prevent a catastrophic... Ow!

That ain't a teacher, kiddo.

He's right. I'm not even human!

(STRAINING) Ow!
Hang on a second. Oh, it's stuck.

(SCREAMING)

His face is melting!

He's a monster. Take him out!

Calm down. It's a mask.

It's just too much spirit gum.

-Argh!
-Trash crash!

No! You'll never get past the security...
(EXCLAIMS)

Oh, pizza crusts!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

That was quick thinking, kid.

Friendship gems, here we come!

Eek, what a bust.

Tell me about it.

Who'd have thought having coupons
would be so...

Thrilling!

Wow! What a day.

I've still got a few more -for- portals
to other dimensions...

-We're good, man.
-No!

(IMITATES BEEPING)
Oh! What do you know?

I better be on my way, gentlemen.

A fella in Bovine Goats, Montana,

trying to use expired coups
at the carwash.

(SNAPS FINGERS) Ho! Ha.

(SIGHS)

Wonder how Bug's doing
with her new best bud?

Yo, Bug! Where you at?

-(ROARING)
-It's Hank Flappington's kennel!

(GROWLING)

He's trying to tell us something!

-What's wrong, boy?
-(BARKS)

Trouble at the old mill?

(ROARS)

Whoa! Good thing she got a new bestie,

'cause that dude's a goner.

Better follow him.

What if Bug's the one
in trouble at the old mill?

Enough about the mill!

MR. : Keep looking, Curly.

Gotta be a secret switch
or a safe or something.

You got it, Senor Doce.

(HUMMING)

Oh, hey! Let go!

(WHIRRING)

Whoa!

You did it, kid! Shall we?

(LAUGHS)

-(LAUGHING)
-Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

Come on, Cousin Dozen.

Let's make up
a super bestest bud high five

to celebrate our first... (GASPS)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Quick! Give me the coupon,
it's our only chance!

-Boom!
-(POWERING DOWN)

Hey! What are you doing?

Sorry, kid, hate to be the first one
to teach you life's hard lesson,

don't trust nobody.

Take care, kid.

No!

You're supposed to be my friend!

No wonder Hank tried to eat him.

He knew -Carrot Cold
was a liar right away,

and I didn't listen.

Hank's more than a pet,

he's the best friend I always wanted.

(VOICE BREAKING)
And now I'll never get to tell him.

Can you give me a sec here?
I'm having a moment!

(LASERS POWERING UP)

(GROWLING)

Hank! You came for me!

(YELPS)

Come on! Flame his face off, Hank!

(GROWLS)

Oh, Waggington.

You're the bestest of the best,
best friends a girl could ever have.

What? We missed another adventure?

For being coupon-rich,
we got ripped off a whole lot today.

You and me both, Daniel, the Chosen One.

Told you not to call me that, man.

The gems! They're all gone!

Gone! Oh! Do you have
any idea what this means?

-No.
-Nah, man.

-Don't care.
-Bug!

You got to tell us this whole crazy story!

Yeah! We want to know stuff for fun!

(LAUGHS) Okay.

Gather round. Gather round.

BUG: It all started...

(SIGHS)

Prophecy never said
there'd be days like this.

Oh. Well, I'll be! Hey.

Are those stink lines?

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

-(JACKHAMMERING)
-(DANNY EXCLAIMING)

(EXCLAIMS) Danny! Danny!

'Sup, Pops?

Since I made the rest
of the house all sweet,

I figured I'd put
a little thug in this rug.

Oh! That's kind of you.

Um, well, son?

Any idea why this handsome parrot
was on the doorstep for you?

-(SQUAWKS)
-Whoa, whoa!

-Not so fast, Doug.
-Oh!

This is a bird-free zone.

That's not allowed in here.

I don't make the rules,
I just, uh, you know, get out.

What's the deal, Fyootch?

What's wrong with a boy
having more than one pet?

-Pet! You're calling me a pet?
-(EXCLAIMING)

Aw, Dad was just joshing ya.

But are you going bananials
over this little guy

'cause you think he'd replace you?

No way, bro-sepe.

Huh, what? No, it's 'cause
birds are my mortal enemy!

Thanks, Dadder dude!

Oh! (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

You're welcome.

Dude. (WHISTLING)

Hey, little cutie bird,
you want to give me a hand with this?

-(SQUAWKS)
-Ugh, I'm out.

(POWERING UP)

Huh? Get down!

Huh?

(GASPS) You saved me!

And you stashed a double-barreled
future musket in the couch?

(BLOWS) Always prepared.

For birds!

Gosh! That's no bird!

It's a bot.

Nah, probably just some shiny junk
the bird stole.

Always picking up shiny crud.

Hmm, so you failed.

But no matter.

You will return to the same point in time

and re-live this battle
over and over again

until you destroy Danny Douglas!

(LAUGHS)

(ALL SQUAWKING)

Hey, little cutie bird,
you want to give me a hand with this?

-(SQUAWKS)
-Ugh, I'm out.

(POWERING UP)

Huh? Get down!

Huh?

You saved me!

And you stashed a double-barreled
future musket in the couch?

(BLOWS) Always prepared.

For birds!

Uh, something here feel odd to you?

(BEEPS)

(POWERING UP)

Huh? Get down!

Huh?

(GRUNTS)

(SQUAWKS)

Whoa!

Reminds me, never flick
that light down-up-down.

Triggers a... (CLEARS THROAT)

Electric net that will, um,

destroy him or anybody else.

Gosh! That's no bird!
It's a bot.

(GROANS) Abs...

Abs haven't tingled
like that since...

(YELLS)

Ah, dang!
We're trapped in time loop!

Anti-time looping activated.

Okay, D, now you gotta build

your own anti-time looping thingy.

A time loop? Okay.

But are you sure this isn't
about that pet stuff?

Is that why you're getting all paranoid?

(YELLS) Danny!

Quit rushing me, man.
I'm trying to science.

Ba-bam!

Let's see
if my anti-time looping lid's legit!

(BEEPS)

DANNY: Oh! Save me!

Whoa!

See? So, how 'bout it?

Ready to rotisserize this bird brain?

Oh, I think you know it.

(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYS)

(SQUAWKS)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS)

(SIGHS, EXCLAIMS)

-Dad, have you seen the parrot?
-Whoa!

(SQUAWKS)

(SPITS)

(SQUAWKS)

(SCREAMING)

(SIGHS) Nice.

We forgot to fight the parrot!

(BOTH SCREAM)

Can't take it anymore!

-(SQUAWKS)
-(BOTH GRUNT)

(GRUNTING) Why won't this end?

Stupid parrot!

He's not stupid.

Built that whole mini-copter himself.

(BOTH GRUNT)

Why are you sticking up for him?

Just stating the facts, man.

Copter-building's no joke.

Ah, who cares?

The life we had is gone.

Only loops now.

(GRUNTING)

-(SQUAWKS)
-(CRASHES)

Wait. Something's different.

(GASPS) We haven't looped back yet!

-He's still alive.
-(SQUAWKS)

Yeah, about to fix that right now.

No, Fyootch!

We got to let it live.

What? This guy tries to blast you

and now you want to build
rugs and helicopters with him?

Well, fine!
I hope you have a great life together!

Good!

No, dude. Think about it.
The loops only start only when he dies.

So, unless he lives,
we'll be stuck in loops forever.

Yeah, well, I'd rather be
stuck in endless time loops

that lose my best friend
to a filthy parrot!

Dude, you're my best friend ever!

There no universe
where a pet comes between us.

-For realsies?
-For realsies.

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Check it out. This'll fry his circuits
and turn him pretty non-assassin-y,

but not un-alive him.

-(WHIRRING)
-(SQUAWKS)

So, what do you say?
Can we keep him?

I guess he's not too bad.

For a bird!

(SPITS)

(HUMMING)

Say, Danny, how's your
lovely new parr... (YELLS)

(LAUGHING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

So, Danny Douglas lives another day.

But he will fall just like all the others.

Scuba Danny, Reverse Danny,

Dr. Danny, Donny...

And when he does, I...

Future Granny Danny,

shall be the one true Danny
in the multiverse!

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

That'll be bucks, chief.

Nuh-uh, sucka!
I've got a coupon for that.

Dude, don't you mean, "coupon?"

It's pronounced, "cupe-on."

That would be right,
if it were right, but it's not.

-It's coupon!
-Cupe-on.

-Coupon.
-Cupe-on!

FUTURE-WORM: Coupon.

-Well, actually...
-Cupe-on.

Coupon.

Why don't we just ask
everyone we know?

No, we did that for that fish-pig thing
and it got us nowhere!

We can skip right to the
End Of Time and ask him.

Yeah, except he's always
trying to keep us there.

Can't you just admit you're wrong!

Never! We'll be back in no time.

Hey! Still gotta pay for this!

(SCOFFS) Time travelers.

Oh, omnicient End Of Time.

We require your unparalleled judgment.

Coupon, cupe-on, which is it?

Ah! Coupon, cupe-on.

The age-old question. I'm glad you asked.

(GIGGLES) Oh, you came
to the right place.

(LAUGHS) What I mean is, uh...

(SIGHS) Yeah, that one
just kinda got away from me.

Ho-ho! Then allow me to enlighten you.

-Couponocus!
-Oh, yeah, duh. Why didn't we ask him?

I am General Archibald Couponocus.

Told you!

Of the Intergalactic Consortium
of Couponery!

'Sup now?

Cupe-ons are vouchers
that entitles coupon holders

discounts on whatever product or service
the cupe-on is connected to.

There's even coupons for cupe-ons!

It's a crazy world.

Wow! I got to get me some of those!

You want some cupes?
Here's some coups!

Coups, cupes, cupes, coups...

Hmm. Guess it's pronounced both ways.

-Okay, well, thanks, EOT.
-Yup, thank you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Why are you in such a hurry?

Take a load off.

-Yeah, no, I'm ready to go.
-Oh, huh, uh...

Wait, wait, wait, before you go,

I have got to show you
this hilarious video! (LAUGHING)

Hmm...

It'll just take a second.

Oh, it's super funny.
It is so funny! Just you wait!

(LAUGHS) Oh, it's... It's buffering.

It's buffering. You know
how sometimes it does that.

The connection here is not the best.

(LAUGHS)

Oops! Oh, looks like my media player
is out of date.

Now, this will take a minute.

You can probably skip reading
the terms and conditions there, if you...

What, Oh, no way!

Where have you got to go in such a hurry?

We're outside time, man.

Ugh!

(SNORING)

(GASPS)

Hey, End Of Time?

Yeah, we kinda have to...

(SHUSHING) Here we go! It loaded.

Get on over here, Cubicle!

Get ready to laugh, now. (LAUGHS)

I'm ready. It's so good!

(LAUGHS)

(QUACKS)

That old man doesn't even know
he got a duck on his head!

You got a duck on your hair, man. (LAUGHS)

Dude! We made that video.

I've seen it like a zillion times.

Yeah, even made some jifs out of it.

Uh, I think it's a gif.

Sorry, I'm unfamiliar
with this fancy term.

Then allow me to enlighten you.

(PRONOUNCING BOTH WAYS)
I'm Commandant Zachary Giflington

of the Intergalactic Gif Foundation.
This has been a...

-Never fight again.
-You know it.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)