01x18 - Megan Muck Wars/Porthole to the Spider Hole/Weenie Genie

[bunniefuu]

Whoo!

All right, yeah. Pretty fun. Future-Worm.

This way to the Mecha Muck Mind!

(YELLS)

Guys!

Oh, you came back for me!

Not now, Cregger!

Guys?

Almost there!

It's up to us five.

We're humanity's last hope!

Yippee-doo!

(EXCLAIMS)

(GASPS)

(GROANING)

Uh... Okay, four.

Scrappy, my baby! (GRUNTS)

Uh, three! Three... Three.
It's up to us three!

They were a thing?

Run!

We need you.

So don't do anything stupid,
Neil Degrasse Tyson.

I'm a genius.

I'm physically incapable of stupidy.

Stupid...

I mean stupid-it-y!

Geniuses don't do dumb.

The inner sanctum of the Mecha Muck Mind!

(BEEPS)

We got company!

I'm Bill Nye, the science guy,

and today's as good as any day to... Ah!

I'm in!

(ALARM BLARING)

It's up to you, Future-Worm.

Destroying the Mecha Muck Mind

is the only way

we can ever stop these wars!

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS)

The Muck stops here.

(STAMMERING) Mrs. D!

(LAUGHS MANICALLY)

You're the Mecha Muck Mind?

More of a "Megan Mind," really!

See, my mind got taken
over by my own creation

after I accidentally

(ANGRILY) triggered the Mecha Muck Wars.

The Muck uploaded me to the Muck hive-link

to rule over all Muckdom.

(IN NORMAL VOICE) So. prepare to
get mucked, I guess. (CHUCKLES)

No!

(GRUNTS) D.

We gotta stop your mom from...

-Shh! Listen!
-(BELL RINGING)

Dad's ringing the family meeting bell!

That's right.

Your mother says she has
a big announcement!

(LAUGHS)

Mine's bigger, trust me. Your mom...

Finally got a toy design approved.

Yup. The drought is over, people!

-That's the greatest ever!
-Sweetie, I'm so blown away.

(GROWLING)

(MANIC LAUGHTER)

As you know, I've had a lot of flops.

But I started thinking.

Sometimes, things work better
together than alone.

Like a family.

-That's us!
-Aww, Mom.

We're a family!

Come on, hurry it up.

Sally Six-Legs,
Tickle-Me Erector Set, and Mucky.

All flops.
But together?

(VOCALIZES)

Sweet Muck Angel-babies!

(BOTH EXCLAIM)

(SCREAMING)

When I got the idea,

I screamed for joy, too, Fyootch!

And the company tells me
it'll be a surefire hit!

-(DOUG EXCLAIMING)
-I don't know.

Might have to dig
a little deeper on this one, Mrs. D.

How do you know it's
not gonna like, gain sentience

and, uh, take over the world?

(CHUCKLES) I hope it takes over the world!

'Cause one more rejection

and I'll transfer to the Dullston factory.

(GASPS) We can't move to Dullston!

It's dull there!

Okay, but seriously, what...

And I'll get more vacation time,

which means more family time.

(GASPS) Oh! And a raise!

-(ALL EXCLAIMING)
-MEGAN: Gettin' paid!

I've never seen 'em so happy.

I guess I can tell them tomorrow.

Oh! And my angel-babies
are being fast-tracked

to production for tomorrow!

Yeah!

And I'm receiving an award

from my hero, Neil Degrasse Tyson!

-Let's get in for a hug!
-(ALL WHOOPING)

I had something to say

that's gonna change your guys lives.

I love you guys so much.

This family's finally got its big break.

Now let's fancy ourselves up
and get to the gala!

-(BOTH CHANTING) Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!
-Me! Me! Me!

Save the future, and I break their hearts.

Maybe even ruin their lives.

Or maybe if it's Danny's mom
ruling over everything,

I mean, you know, it's all gonna be great.

(EXCLAIMS)

(WHIMPERING)

(GRUNTING AND STRAINING)

(SCREAMING)

Why didn't someone stop this
from happening?

Whoa! I was wrong.

Danny! I got some bad news, kid!

Hold on, I'm just finishing a card

to congratulate the best mom ever!

(SINGING) I have the finest mother
On all the seven seas

(PARTY HORN BLOWS)

It's more of a parade float,

but I couldn't resist going all out.

This is the best thing
to happen to our family ever!

What were you going to say?

I... You're... Uh, you see...

I guess I forgot!
Couldn't have been important.

Not like the world's ending.

Gimme a sec to get ready?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Poor kid.

Gotta do what I gotta do to save him...

Just can't ever let him
find out what I had to do.

-Find out what?
-What?

-Uh, nothing!
-Okay.

(GRUNTING)

Sorry, Mrs. D...

The Muck stops here.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Yoo-hoo.
There she is.

Toyzo's star designer.

Here are your seats.

I wanted to get you a choice view

of Dr. Tyson's biceps.

(GIGGLES)

What's in the case?

Uh, freeze ray.
Uh, I mean, flute.

-Oh, cool.
-NEIL: Good evening.

When I heard that
Megan Douglas made a new toy,

my first thought was,
"Ah! Evacuate the city!"

(ALL LAUGHING)

No, just kidding.

Some advances change everything.

Kepler's laws of planetary motion.

Einstein's general theory of relativity.

And, now, Sweet Muck Angel-babies.

I promise,

(IN MENACING VOICE)
nothing will ever be the same.

(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Now get on up here, Megan.

-(APPLAUSE)
-(WHISPERS) Isn't this the best?

What?

What is he doing?

Dirty job.

But a small sacrifice
to save the world from mucking.

Oh, yeah.

What the heck, Fyootch?

Ah...

(ALL GASP)

Oh. (CHUCKLES)
Don't worry, guys!

Sometimes my husband gets anxious

about letting a sneeze out all the way.

(ALL SIGH)

You weren't supposed to see this!

See what?

Why are you so cray-cray?

Your mom starts
the Mecha Muck Wars tonight!

It begins with that toy

and ends with her as Megan Mind,

master of all Muckdom!

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

And now you're trying to freeze her?

Believe me. I don't want to,
but it's our only option.

As long as Mrs. D is frozen,
the Muck can't arise.

It's foolproof.

You shall not harm the Muck mother!

-(ALL GASP)
-BOTH: What?

(ALL SCREAMING)

Dang!

See? A Mecha Muckinator dressed as NDT!

Protecting your mom!

Stop!

There's no way she turns bad!

I'm not saying she does it on purpose.

-No.
-(BOTH GRUNTING)

-(DANNY SCREAMING)
-(MEGAN GASPS)

(FUTURE-WORM SCREAMING)

Megan! Your job is on the line here!

Boys! Stop it!

It's all Fyootch, Mom!

Trust me, kid.
You'll understand eventually.

No!

Phew. All right.
Now what do you say we, uh...

Little emotional, huh?

(SNIFFLING)

Well, look,
what you gotta remember is Muck is...

Muck is bad. It's so bad.

(CRYING) You... You destroyed my family.

How could you freeze my parents?

Oh, right. Well...

Look, Doug was partly your fault,

I wasn't trying to do it to him. But look,

I did it to save you, Danny.

The world, too, but mostly you.

(CRYING) No!

You ruined everything!

Go away.

I hate you!

Okay... Whoa!

Easy now.

I know it was worth it.

Probably... Let me just confirm that
real quick. Hold on.

Okay. This is the new , huh?

Decor's, uh...

All right. People seem happy, though.

Looks like I averted that disaster.

But how can I be sure?

Oh, sweet!

All right. Let's check this bad boy out.

FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
There are a number of reasons

our existence is perfect today.

What's it matter?
Don't you like Baby Corn Bradley no more?

Come on, nibble me!

Goo-goo-gaga,
I'm made of baby corn!

Wah!

FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
But no reason is more important

than the aversion of the Mecha Muck Wars

by the hero worm person.

Boom! Gold status achieved! Yeah.

Who's a statue?
I'm a statue!

FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
What makes the worm's act even more heroic

is that to save us,

he gave up his best friend Danny Douglas,

ruining Danny's life forever.

What? No!

It's true.
See for yourself.

No!

Danny! Ah!
What have I done?

This is a perfect world.

But how perfect can it be

if my best bud is my worst enemy?

This is way worse than
the Mecha Muck Wars.

Only one way to make this right.

(ALARM BLARING)

This is gonna get tricky.

What's up, bro?

Come back to relive some
of your Muck-stoppin' glory?

No! It's not worth it!
I checked!

No way.
You've gone soft, worm!

What the heck, Fyootches?

Help me stop him!

Help me stop him!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

BOTH: Oh, yeah?

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Messing around on Mom's big night?

One of you has bad intentions!

But which one?

Listen, kid!
We gotta stop your mom.

She starts the Mecha Muck Wars!

Freeze this chump.

I'm the Fyootch who would
rather help his best bud

than stop some future w*r!

'Cause a future without Danny

ain't a future worth fightin' for.

Wow, that was. that was pretty good.

(SCREAMS)

Yeah!

Aw, I knew you weren't
the evil Fyootch, buddy.

(ALL GASP)

(ALL SIGH IN RELIEF)

How'd you know to sh**t the fake NDT?

I heard him talking about
how Pluto was a planet.

-(BOTH CHUCKLING)
-Yeah.

Thanks for not freezing my mom, Fyootch.

I'm sorry you have
to still fight in those Mecha Muck Wars.

Oh, yeah.
Not too bad, I guess.

If you don't remind me about it.

Hold up. Is this...

Mrs. D!

Is this a blueprint
of all your toy's weaknesses?

Yes.

Then that means...

Aim for the tickle box!

Aim for the tickle box!

sh**t, sh**t!

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

Ah! Beautiful day for a ride.

Maybe I should haul Teeny Tires III

out for a spin.

(SCREAMS)

(BARKING)

There's a...
(GASPING)

-(PANTING)
-A...

A... A...

(SHRIEKS) Spider!

(SIGHS)

Hank! Didn't you hear what I said?

Spider!

(WHIMPERS)

You get back here

and burn that shed down right now, buster!

There's two of them!

(GASPS) I'm outnumbered!

What's crackin', li'l Lady Bug?

There's spiders in the shed

and they've got ol' TT III hostage!

-(BUG INHALES SHARPLY)
-(LAUGHS)

Is our little monster trucker

really afraid of an itsy bitsy spider?

-Yes!
-(GROANS)

And why wouldn't I be?

You named me after something spiders eat!

We're literally born enemies!

(CHUCKLES)

Bug.

Fear pulls the e-brake on your life,

keepin' you from winnin' the race!

Slam, we're doing

the whole "life's not a race"
thing, remember?

Oh, dang, right, right,

Metaphors got away from me.

What your daddy is trying to say is that

you need to face your fear.

Or you could get it for me.

Please!

Sorry, Bug.

This is something
you need to do for yourself.

Please?

(GASPS)

Must. Resist. Cuteness.

(SCREAMS)

(EXHALES)

Okay, how 'bout we take a field trip

to the spider pavilion so you can learn...

What?

You wanna take me
to a building full of spiders?

Don't you want to be independent?

What if there's a spider
in your bed and...

(SCREAMS)
There's a spider in my bed?

-Bug...
-I said "if".

I said "what if".
It was a if.

Bug, baby.

You've got the strength to face your fear,

you just need to find it.

Come on.
For ol' Teeny Tires III?

(SCREAMS)

Here we go, sparkplug,
the kiddie section...

(CHILDREN SCREAMING)

(GASPING)

Ah! (WHIMPERING)

(GASPS)

Well, this isn't so bad, right?

(GASPS)

(BUG SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

Easy, chopper, just take baby steps.

Huh.

(INHALES)

(EXHALES)

For ol' Teeny Tires.

Hmm.

(SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

(PANTING)

(GASPS) Oh, no!
I can't see anything!

Ha! Wait a minute.

I can't see anything, including spiders!

Problem solved!

-Bug! Bug, come on.
-Bug! Bug, over here!

Okay. (GRUNTS)

See that?
It's a common house spider.

Not so bad, right?

BUG: Oh, wow.
Yeah, neat.

Look at its, uh...

Furry legs.

This fella's a tarantula.

Used to have one as a pet.

Even taught it to ride
a mini-four-wheeler!

(CHUCKLES) A spider that drives!

That's definitely not five times scarier

than a regular spider.

Well, lesson learned.

Spiders are totally cool.

Okay, let's go home.
(YELPS)

-That's our brave little Bugster!
-(CHUCKLES)

Now where's the little trucker's room?

-I need to make a pit stop.
-(YELPS)

(WAILING)

(BOTH SCREAM)

Dads? Where'd ya...

(GASPS)

They fell? Oh, no!

They weren't looking
and I wasn't looking...

BOTH: (SCREAMING) Help!

I'm coming for ya, Dads!

(GRUNTS)

Oh, wait, what, if there's...
Spiders! (SCREAMS)

(GASPING)

Chill, Bug.

Just because there's webs,

doesn't mean there's spiders.

Plenty of non-scary things make webs.

Like the, uh... Uh...

Oh, man!
It's totally spiders!

-DAD : Bug! Help us!
-DAD : Bug? Baby?

Your daddies need help.

They need me.

Come on, get a grip, fool!

Yeah!

No spiders, no spiders,

no spiders, no spiders, no spiders!

No spiders, no spiders!

No spiders, no spiders!

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

(MUFFLED SCREAM)

And what of the prisoners?

Oh! Dads!

When Spak-Thok arrives
we will drink their insides.

(BOTH GASP)

Oh, heck no, you won't.

Time to bust out my secret w*apon.

Not seeing stuff good.

(GRUNTING)

Let go of my boot, spider-gunk!

Halt, creature!

I'm scared, but I am still driving.

(NARRATOR READING)

(GRUNTS)

BOTH: Bug!

(GRUNTING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(SCREAMS)

-(EXCLAIMS) Yes!
-DADS: Yeah, baby!

No!

Surrender!

I'll fight every last one of ya

if that's what it takes to save my dads!

SPAK-THOK: Stop!

(GRUNTING)

ALL: (MURMURING) Spak-thok, Spak-thok.

You are wise, wild child.

Courage is the mastery of fear,

not the absence of it.

Okay.

Is this going somewhere?

Indeed.

The prophecy told
of a brave warrior like you

who would join our quest
for the gems of...

No, thanks you.

I got my own quest, sucker!

(GRUNTS)

But, wait.
There is magic armor.

And a crystal tiara.
And a theme song!

Okay.

(INHALES AND EXHALES)

-(SOBS)
-Oh, Slam.

She is growing up so fast.

-(MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVVING)
-(EXCLAIMS)

(DADS CHEERING)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Pop a wheelie, Lady Bug!

(TIRES SCREECH)

Come on, Hank!

Let's go build a spider-bot!

(ENGINE REVVING)

Do you think it's coming back?

Oh, I hope not, sweetheart.

I most certainly hope not.

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

(GRUNTING)

Dude, my stomach
is screaming for a hotdog.

STOMACH: (GRUMBLING) Hotdog!

Don't worry, I've got you covered.

Hotdogs online.

The one stop shop
for all your hotdoggin' needs.

First one free?
Instant delivery?

And. click. Boom!

(WINDOW SHATTERS)

Sweet!

Can't wait to bite into...

Well, how do you do?

Somebody order a hot dog?

-What the heck is this?
-Uh...

I did.

But, I was sorta expecting,
you know, the kind you can eat.

Oh, I'm not an eatin' dog,
I'm a wish grantin' dog.

I'm a weenie that's a genie!

(NARRATOR READING)

Weenie Genie!

Oh, cool!

In that case, one eatin' dog please!

Sorry, but that's the one
wish I can't grant.

What a rip!

You can't do a free hotdog?

I can do a free hotdog.

Yeah, come on, Fyootch!

Let's go get dogs that don't talk back.

Come on!

A-ha!

(WHISTLING)

Um, can I help you?

(GASPS) Uh...

The real question is, can I help you?

You see, Doug, I'm a...

(NARRATOR READING)

You know my name?

It's a gift.

And I was also going through your mail.

Now what'll it be?

Wow! Free wishes?

Well, everything has a price, Doug.

(GASPS)

But if you mean does it cost money?

No, siree, Bob!

Well, let's get to it!

I wish that...

-The dishes were clean.
-(GROANS)

(SIGHS)

DOUG: The lawn was mowed.

(GRUNTS)

The toilet was unclogged.

-I wish that...
-Hold up there, Doug!

Only one wish left.

Make it a good one.

I wish for...

(GASPS)

All of my beloved
golden guy action figures

to be back
in their original, pristine boxes

so that they'll be at
optimal collector's value!

Yes!

By golly!

You did not take very good
care of these at all.

I, I played with them.

Well, Doug.

That's a tall order.

But if you're patient,

you may just get what you wished for!

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! (EXCLAIMS)

Yep, yep! (GRUNTS)

-Put this on and cover your ears.
-Okay. (LAUGHS)

(SNAPS FINGERS)

(WHISTLES)

Okay guys, now, now, now!

Three minutes, in and out! Go, go, go!

Uh, Weenie Genie?

Is it time to...

Everything has a price, Doug!

Hey!

(GASPING)

Punch it!

(GASPS)

My wish!

He granted it!

(SCREAMS) No!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)