04x02 - Where There's a Will, There's a Way Part 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air". Aired September 10, 1990 - May 20, 1996.*
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Will's mom sends him away from his rough Philadelphia neighborhood to live with wealthy Uncle Phil and Aunt Vivian in Bel-Air.
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04x02 - Where There's a Will, There's a Way Part 2

Post by bunniefuu »

On the last Fresh Prince of Bel-Air:

I cannot believe that you and Carlton
are moving into your own place.

Sorry, Dad, I have to go.

- No, you don't.
- Will says I do.

He says it's time for me to leave
the nest, become independent...

...and have sex with girls.

Okay, everybody, guess what.

I'm getting married.

Will, I've met the woman
of my dreams.

Oh, my God. Will.

No, no, no!

- Baby!
- Oh, man.

Girl, look at you.

That's for not calling me
after you left.

Well, I called you twice times.
The line was busy.

Will, you have not changed,
have you?

Carlton, I'll see you later.

Since I didn't buy a program
on the way in...

...could you please tell me
what the heck is going on?

Man, look, that filly is from Philly.
We grew up together.

What does that mean,
"grew up together"?

What do you want it to mean?

That she hates you
and you have no interest in her.

You saw her smack me, didn't you?

I've seen a lot of girls
smack you, Will.

Then I see the same girls
leaving your room.

Yeah, well,
Jackie is not like most girls.

She's special.

Look at her.

Yo, man, she used to be able
to b*at every brother...

...on the playground in a foot race.

I'll fight you for her, Will.
Any time, any place.

Relax. I got about as much chance
with Jackie as you do.

Hey, Carlton. Did Mr. Gorodetsky
say anything about this building...

...being a landmark or something?

No, why?

Because there's a tour bus
pulling up on the front lawn.

All right, y'all, everybody
in rows one through 15...

... the party's in apartment 206.

- Jazz!
- Jazz!

Everybody in rows 16 through 30.

And have money in your hands.

Senior citizens get
a 10-percent discount.

I do take tips.

So, Will...

...what's on tap for tomorrow?

Daddy, how about
a November wedding?

Nothing extravagant, just 800
of our closest friends and relatives.

Or maybe we could book the Forum.

I'm sure the Lakers
will be on the road by then.

Daddy, is something wrong?

I'm sorry, sweetheart. It's...
This wedding took me by surprise.

I didn't count on losing you
and Carlton on the same day.

Oh, Daddy.

You're not losing me.

You promise?

Look, even though
I'm getting married...

...you'll always be my daddy.

And you'll always be my little girl.

I'm also Trevor's little girl.

No, no, no.

Technically, you're his woman,
not his little girl.

Then why does he make me wear
those outfits?

Excuse me.

I'm scheduled for a heart att*ck.

Go away. Ain't no party.

Open up, it's Mr. Gorodetsky.

Just a second, I'm undressed.

- Carlton, Carlton, wake up.
- Look out, Jerry. Tom's gonna get you.

Wake up, it's the landlord.

We gotta put the furniture back.
Come on.

Open up!

Open up here!

This used to be my lawn.
And this used to be my banister.

- And you used to be my tenants.
- But... But...

I want you out of here by noon.

- But...
- Noon!

He kicked your butt.

Excuse me, that's our butts, Carlton.
We're in this together.

Not anymore, Kemosabe.

I'm going back to my family,
where I belong.

- No, you are not.
- Oh, yeah? Why?

Because that will be like admitting
we can't make it on our own.

I don't have to make it on my own.
I'm rich.

I never wanted
to move out in the first place.

Thanks to you, I've had
my heart broken and I've been evicted.

If this is your idea of independence,
you can have it.

I can be reached by fax.

Carlton. Carlton, come on, man.
I can't make rent without you.

Then come home, Will.

I'll send Geoffrey for my things.

Then go ahead home, you damn baby.

You'll probably be there
till you're in your 30s anyway.

Like all those other serial K*llers.

This is Jazz's mother.

He's not here.

This is Publishers Clearinghouse.
You've already won.

It's about time.

Open the door. Open the door.

Will, I'm so glad it's you.

I heard somebody disguised as me
ran a party scam.

Jazz, you got me kicked out
my crib, man.

Let me make it up to you.

Talk fast, you've only got
a few minutes to live.

- You can stay here with me.
- In this roach motel?

It would only be temporary.
I'm getting thrown out on the 15th.

Jazz...

...give me the money.

Money? What money?

The 25 dollars a head
you charged for my party.

Man, I was sneaking the bus
back to the depot and I got held up.

White dude. He took the bus too.

The money's gone, isn't it?

Like the Jheri curl.

Here you go, roomie.

Get comfy. You're gonna love it here.

That's the Wilsons.
You'll get to know them.

I hate you, Jazz.

I know you don't mean that.

"Roommate wanted.
Minutes from school.

Must love ice hockey,
country-and-western music...

...and Tom Cruise movies."
This is worse than Jazz's.

Whoa, wait, back up, girl.
Wax on, wax off.

I'm sorry I had to clock you last night,
but you know me and my temper.

No, you know, I understand.

That torch you've been
carrying for me all these years...

...suddenly got a little
too hot to handle.

We were friends, Will. Nothing more.

We were more than friends that night
after Alonzo Simmons' party.

I was young and immature then.

I guess you still are, Lobe.

Hey, hey, hey,
don't you be calling me Lobe.

I left that in Philly,
where I thought I left you.

What are you doing out here anyway?

Remember that jump sh*t
you taught me?

Well, I parlayed that
into a basketball scholarship.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.

You mean they're giving
basketball scholarships to girls now?

Lmagine my surprise.

There I was just churning butter,
and the phone rings.

So you and Carlton tight?

He is.

We're cousins.
I've been staying with his family.

- In Bel-Air?
- Yeah, so?

- So beware of the bougieman.
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.

I kept in touch
with everybody from the hood.

Everybody but me.

Why?

Why?

Yeah. Why would you keep in touch
with everybody but me?

I see this really bothers you.
I'm gonna give you a couple of minutes.

Damn you, Will.
Just answer the question.

Why didn't you call me?

Because I missed you too much.
How's that?

I said it. Happy?
That what you wanna hear?

Hey, y'all, I missed the hell out of her.
I missed her. I missed her.

I said it.
That's what you wanted, right?

Everybody know I missed her.

Look, I gotta get up out of here.

Gotta go find me
an apartment and a job.

Don't hit your head on the rim.

One of my people quit this morning.

I'm sorry.
Are you suggesting maybe you...

...and me working together
side by side?

No, it's too tempting.

Before long, you'd be dragging me down
into the storeroom...

...and snatching all my gear off
and everything.

Then I have to nail you
with a sexual-harassment suit...

...like the Anita Hill thing in reverse.
It's too much now.

Look, maybe your transmission's stuck
in junior high or something...

...but mine's not.

I busted my butt to get where I am,
and I'm not about to lose focus...

...just because you're back in my life.

Now, I got me an agenda too.

And it certainly does not include
risking frostbite around you.

- Fine.
- Well, good then.

When do I start?

Next week, when school starts.

I will be here.

Oh, Will.

Wear something warm.

Yo, man, I didn't really miss her.
That was just game I was kicking there.

You know,
that's how you gotta do it.

Hey, man.

Hey, man. I was, man...

I was... I was coming... Coming back...

I was getting the rest of my stuff.

Well, why don't you take
some food too. We have plenty.

Well, if it's gonna spoil.

So things aren't going quite as smoothly
as you planned, are they, son?

Hey, hold up. Not only
do I got me a new place to stay...

...I got me a job on campus.

Adversity is my oyster.

This will go good with my adversity.

Why don't you come home, Will?

No, I can't, Uncle Phil, man.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate you
taking me in and everything...

...but I just feel like
I'm at a point in my life...

...where I need to have
my own space.

Trevor's about to propose.
Where's Carlton?

The last I saw him,
he was in his room kissing the floor.

Will, I just want you to know
that the door is always open for you.

Thanks a lot, Uncle Phil.

There's no place like home.

There's no place like home.

There's no place like home.

Turn it up.

Oh, there's Trevor.

It's a bungee jump.

I asked him to propose in a special way,
but I never expected a bungee jump.

What's a bungee jump?

Well, Hil, he's gonna propose...

...while falling 300 feet
on a giant rubber band.


Isn't it romantic?

Please, whatever happened
to getting down on one knee?

- Daddy, that's for old fogies.
- I got down on one knee.

Sustained.

Look, there he goes.

Hilary Banks...

Yes, Trevor?

Will you marry me...?

I ain't no bungee expert or nothing...

...but I don't think he's supposed
to be slamming into the ground like that.

"Please stand by"?

Great. The president's
about to interrupt my marriage proposal.

Let's just pray that Trevor's okay.

Well, that was a lovely service.

Trevor didn't look so bad for a dude
that had a concrete face-lift.

Fool. Like that was his real head.

Could you two
show a little compassion?

Your sister's right behind you.

I still can't understand.

Sweetheart, the Lord giveth
and the Lord taketh away.

No, I mean technically.
Am I a widow or what?

This is all my fault.

If I hadn't asked
for a special proposal...

...Trevor would be in my arms...

...instead of in my purse.

I love you, Trevor.

Hilary...

...Trevor wasn't cremated.

Then who's this?

I'll see him to the door, Miss Hilary.

Sweetheart...

Now is the time when you should
make use of Reverend Boyd.

Is he single?

I mean you should be spiritual.
After all, Trevor's in heaven now.

Right. He's up there
with my little dog Scruffy.

Yeah, and the bus he rode in under.

Must everything be a joke to you?

My sister's in a fragile condition.
I'm trying to help her bounce back.

Bounce.

Trevor bounced.

Son, go get yourself a milk.

If you go right back to work
as soon as possible...

...maybe it would help you
get your mind off things.

Work? Every inch of that newsroom
reminds me of Trevor.

His desk, his makeup bib...

...the shower in his office.

I just need some time
to find some sense of inner peace.

After all...

...I am alone now.

Oh, no, sweetheart. You have me.

Look, in a few days...

...why don't I take you to the mall
and we can go shopping.

Go to the mall with my father?

Sorry, I forgot.

Must you do that?

I hate to be the bearer
of more bad news, but...

Greetings, mourners.

Hilary.

If there's anything we can learn
from this tragedy...

...that's to live each day
to the fullest.

I know, Jazz.

So with that in mind,
what are you doing later?

Oh, my...

- It's all right.
- Guess y'all need to be alone right now.

Yeah, so do you, Jazz.
I'll meet you back at the palace later.

Oh, yeah, I forgot. There's a hostage
situation back at my building.

SWAT team said it'd be a week
before we could get back in.

Jazz...

Forgive me for what I'm about to do.

Hilary, can I have a word with you?

Look, you know,
I think you got the right idea...

...not going back to, you know,
work so soon.

You're just lucky that there's nothing
around here that reminds you of Trevor.

Of course, there is the pool house.

Never mind,
forget about that, though.

Then, on the other hand...

...that is where you and he
shared countless romantic evenings.

I bet if those walls could talk...

...they'd whisper:

"Trevor."

"Trevor."

Daddy, I can't stay in the pool house.
I'm moving back in here.

Of course, sweetheart, whatever
will make you more comfortable.

I don't know what I would do
without my family.

Mother.

Ashley.

Can you get my things
from the pool house?

Of course. Come on, Ashley.

- Say, Uncle Phil, man.
- Hey, you know what, Will?

I was thinking maybe I could turn
that pool house into a law library.

- Stop playing, listen.
- No, no, well...

A greenhouse. That would work, huh?

I said, stop playing, listen.

- I was wondering...
- You can have the pool house.

- All right.
- At the same rent Hilary was paying.

- And I have a few rules.
- That's cool, because I got demands.

- No loud music after 11.
- Twelve.

- Eleven-thirty.
- Cool.

Check it out.
It's important that I have my privacy.

Say a honey be tiptoeing up my crib.
That's my business, not yours.

- Fine. No skinny-dipping.
- You gotta promise me that same thing.

Done.

Well, son, I guess
you got yourself a pool house.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

How come he gets the pool house...

...and I'm stuck upstairs
with the grieving widow?

Another thing. Keep this person
off my property or I'll sh**t him.

It's my property.

I'm gonna inherit it
after the big guy takes his bungee jump.

Right, big guy?

Well, he does have a point.

I'll tell you what,
why don't you two work it out.

Okay, tallest one gets the bedroom.

I need the big closet
for my peacock suit.

So nice to have my family back.

- You shut up, man.
- Look, you shut up.

And wipe that
damn milk mustache off.

Open the door. Open the door.

Will! So glad it's you.

I heard someone disguised as me
just ran a party scam.

I'm sorry, what?

How many people think
we doing that again?

Some... Somebody started...
Party scam.
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