04x21 - The Harder They Fall

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air". Aired September 10, 1990 - May 20, 1996.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Will's mom sends him away from his rough Philadelphia neighborhood to live with wealthy Uncle Phil and Aunt Vivian in Bel-Air.
Post Reply

04x21 - The Harder They Fall

Post by bunniefuu »

[instrumental music]

- Hey, Will, what's goin' on?
- Uh, Lisa's comin' over.

We're gonna watch a couple of
action-adventure flicks tonight.

Maybe if I get lucky, we'll get
a little action adventure

of our own going,
you know what I'm saying?

So, what movies did you rent,
"Casanova?"

Oh, we got "Terminator 2,"
"Lethal w*apon 3"

and my personal favorite,
"Maniac Cop VII."

Sounds like a romantic evening.
What's Lisa going to do?

Lookie here, lookie here,
spanky.

Now, I'm the man,
you see what I'm saying?

I'm the Man-dingo.

Lisa will watch
what I tell her to watch

and she will enjoy it!

And that, as they say, is that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's
about to get X-rated up in here.

- You know what I mean?
- Hey!

- Hey, baby.
- Hey! What's up, girl?

- Mwah!
- So what movies did you get us?

Uh, "Terms of Endearment,"
"Fried Green Tomatoes"

and "The Joy Luck Club."
Shall I get us some hankies?

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story
all about how ♪

♪ My life got flipped
turned upside-down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all sh**t' some B-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

♪ You're moving with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said Fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about 7:00 or 8:00 ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

♪ I got love ♪

♪ Oh my man ♪

♪ Ta-da da-da da-da da-da ♪

[roaring]

What are you so happy about?

Oh, I just made the weekend
reservations at Palm Springs

for me and Lisa.

Lisa? You've been seeing
a lot of her lately.

Oh, yeah, and if it goes
the way I plan, I'll be seeing

the rest of her this weekend.
You know what I meant? You know?

Have you no shame?

Yeah, I'm ashamed of you.

Well, while you're wallowing
in your sordid filth of a
life

I'll be pursuing some
culture.

I bought tickets to
"The Jeffersons Live On Stage."

It includes
dinner with Sherman Hemsley

and an autographed picture
of both Lionels.

Swell, that will go great with
your Weezy collectible cups.

Hey, Kool-Aid!

I got your Kool-Aid, alright?
You wan--

You look so good, you are
gonna be a hit at the
Bahamas.

[chuckles]
Well, I can't wait to see
your mother down there.

I've been practicing my
limbo.

Huh!

- Oh..
- I don't know, dad.

That limbo bar
gets as low as 13 inches.

Wow, Carlton,
you could just walk right under.

Ah! Will's shacking up
with some girl in Palm Springs.

You're gonna get it now, mister.

Have fun.

[laughing]

Wait, is that all
you're gonna say to him?

Am I paying
for your little trip?

- Well, no.
- Five up top.

Alright.

Uh, Master William,
Ms. Lisa is here to see you.

Oh, sugar-wugar,
now, come on, girl.

Oh, and sir, the limbo bar

is set at three feet
when you're ready.

Excellent!

He couldn't make that
lying flat on his back.

Baby, now, say those words

that you know
send chills up my spine.

I want you to meet my
father.

[imitating sizzling]

Ooh. What you talking about,
girl?

Well, baby, you know,
he and I are very close.

And before
you and I get any closer

I think
that you should meet him.

Ah, alright. Uh..
Well, that's cool, that's cool.

I'll meet him when we come back
from Palm Springs.

Oh, check it out, I got us
the Wilt Chamberlain suite.

[chuckling]

With the electronic scoreboard
over the bed and everything!

Well, before you and I
get into a little one on one

you're gonna have to talk
to the head coach.

Well, I'm saying,
what if he ain't playing off

the same playbook I am, baby?

Well, then we're gonna
have to call a time-out.

Hey, hey, hey, don't be using
my analogy against me.

Come on, baby, I'm just not
gonna be comfortable going

unless I know
that my father approves of you.

As if there's anything
not to approve of.

Hm..

Oh, oh-oh-oh not the ears,
baby, ooh.

Alright,
I-I-I'll talk to your daddy.

You keep doin' that, we're gonna
have to dig up his daddy

I'll talk to him, too.

[instrumental music]

Do you have a non-profit
book

by African-American
photographers?

You mean "Songs Of My People."

It's a very popular book.

Uh, hey, hey, hey,
we're not non-profit.

- Hey.
- Hey, baby.

Hey, hi. Hey, hey, hey,
how are you doing? Alright.

Uh, sorry I'm late,
um, but after I left church

I went down and read some books
to the elderly.

Ah, pfft..

Don't overdo it, honey.

Will, this is my dad.
Daddy, this is Will.

- Hello.
- Whoa!

How you doing?
You hear that deep voice?

Like James Earl Jones,
"This is CNN."

[chuckles]

Well, I gotta get to class.

I want you guys
to enjoy each other.

So how's the grub here, Wilbur?

Well, we've only had
two food-related deaths

in the past month.

I didn't read about that.

You must be doin' a good job
as a manager

to keep something
like that quiet.

Uh, well, actually
my-my cousin, Carlton

is the manager, you know?
I'm-I'm-I'm pretty much just--

Tryin' to score
with my daughter.

- Sir?
- It's a joke.

I'm jokin',
I'm pullin' your leg.

- Oh!
- Ha-ha-ha!

[laughing]

You see these pictures?

That's my baby.

There's nothin' in the world
I won't do for her.

And-and I-I really
respect that, sir.

And-and if you don't
mind me saying so

that is a lovely picture
of your wife.

I see where Lisa
gets her good looks from.

That's not my wife, that's
my sister-in-law, Cecilia.

She's so ugly,
she'd make a-a onion cry.

[laughs]

Okay, actually, I was
being polite. She is a dog.

[growling]

[laughing]

Hey, hey, she's so ugly,
she could make a freight train

take a dirt road.

It'd be like, "Huh? Ah!"

[imitating car engine revving]

[laughing]

You talkin' about
my family, boy?

Um, well, no, I-I just
figured you-you was, um, so..

You know what? I like you.

- You do?
- Yeah.

But I'm out of time,
I got to fly

to San Francisco
on some business.

Why don't we just finish
this interview next week?

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Hey, uh, sir.

Um, you know,
I-I-I actually was hopin'

that I could get your approval
by this weekend.

- What's the rush?
- Oh, no rush.

You know, I-I just hate to leave
things unfinished, you know?

I'm very meticulous like that.

"Meticulous."

Hey, now that's a word
you don't run into every
day.

Say, why don't you fly
to Frisco with me?

You can help me
with my vocabulary. Hm.

[laughs]
F-f-fly?

You ain't scared, are you?

[scoffs]
Me, scared?

Hell, no.

[screaming]

(Adams)
'Hey, Wilbur, you didn't finish
your Buffalo wings.'

Uh, I can't eat anymore.

Sure you can, just put
some hot sauce on there.

Um, no-no-no, thank you.

Boy, I don't know
what you talkin', you better

put some Red Rooster on there.

Look, um, h-h-hey,
do you think you could just

land the plane, you know
and I'll just walk back to LA?

Oh, flying upside-down
makes you a little queasy

doesn't it, boy?

Well, no, I'm not a..

[retching]

I'll take that as a yes.

Now, let's talk about
my daughter.

Look, it's like I told you
on the ground, man.

You know,
I-I just like being with
her.

Wrong answer.

[Will screaming]

(Adams)
'You might as well admit it,
boy.'

You like a squirrel
trying to get a nut.

Let me ask you a question.

How many times did you put
those rusty crusty lips

on my daughter?

With all due respect, sir

I think
that's between me and Lisa.

Wrong again.

[screaming]

Okay, you win.

Well, I'll just cancel
our weekend in Palm Springs.

Why the hell would I want
to go to Palm Springs with you?

Not you, Lisa.

You taking my baby girl
to Palm Springs?

Oh, no, no, no, boy!

- I'm really mad now!
- No, no, no.

[screaming]

Oh-oh. The engine dead.

What?

Yeah.

Oh, so I, uh, I guess
we're going down, huh?

Faster than a bucket of chicken
at Oprah's.

Oh, so I should probably
just
confess all the nasty things

I've done with your
daughter,
huh?

Especially seein'
as how in any second now

we're gonna be splattering all
over those mountains down there.

Let me tell you somethin',
man, I'm from Philly.

You got to wake up
pretty early in the morning

to get me with some old..

[door shuts]

Mr. Adams?

Mr. Adams?

Mr. Adams?

[screaming]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[Will screaming]

[laughing]

I made it!

I'm alive!

- I can't believe it!
- I can't believe it, either.

Your damn chute
wasn't supposed to open.

Yeah, your plane wasn't supposed
to crash neither.

I guess you just havin'
a all-around bad day, huh?

How the hell you land
so close to me?

I guess I'm just lucky.

Mayday! Mayday!

This is Afro-Niner 4-2-3.

We've gone down!

Our precise position
is somewhere

over some trees
and rocks and stuff.

- Give me that thing.
- What you gonna do, man?

- Give it here, give it here.
- What you gonna do?

- Give it, give it to me.
- What you..

- Don't..
- Get..

- Oh-oh-oh.
- Oh.

- You done it now!
- Oh, damn!

Okay, look, look, we just
got
to get down from here, man.

Okay, let me tell you
what you got to do, boy.

You gotta get your mominimum
and knock me out of this tree.

"Mominimum?"

Don't you understand English,
boy? Mominimum.

Now knock me out
of this damn tree, come on!

Alright, alright, here,
here.

Ah.. Oh, get me over, get
me..

Ah! A-alright, here we go.
Here we go.

[screaming]

Alright, I got it,
I got it, I got it.

[screams]

[laughs]

[screams]

I'm Philip Banks.
We got here as soon as we could.

Have you found my nephew
yet?

Good news, we found the plane.

It's totaled.

[gasps]
What?

- 'That's good news?'
- Uh-huh.

- See, your nephew wasn't in it.
- Well, where is he?

If I knew that, I'd be working
for the Psychic Friends Network.

[laughs]

Look, that is my boyfriend

and my father out there!

So you're gonna be twice
as upset if they're dead, huh?

Now, you listen here,
Mr. Park-Ranger

Psychic-Friends-Network-freak
.

You get out there
and find my cousin now!

- Ashley, Ashley, get over here.
- Don't worry.


We've got the best
in modern equipment.

I'll send out a search party
immediately.

Look, a party sounds like
a lot of fun.

But can we please
find Will first? Agh!

Ah-huh, civilization!

Two backpacks.
And, look, a broken radio.

All we gotta do is stay here
until these guys come back.

- They are back.
- They are?

Where? Where?

This is our stuff!
Oh, I don't believe this!

We wasted four hours traveling
around this stupid mountain!

Why don't you quit
bellyaching

and try to come up
with some ideas of your own?

Oh, well,
maybe I'll just do that.

[screams]
Okay, okay, okay, okay, alright.

The-the sun sets
in the west, right?

Okay, alright.

Ah, and moss only grows

on the north side of the trees.

Stop spouting
all that witchcraft!

All we gotta do
is just stay put.

I'm sure they're out there
lookin' for me.

Not if they know you.

You know what, boy?

You've got
a double order of lip.

And I got a short stack
of patience.

What the hell does that mean?

Well, put up your hands,
I'mma
give you a good
butt-whipping!

Look.

Please, you're like
479 years old, right?

And I ain't tryin' to be
out here fightin' no old man.

Oh, fine,
that makes it easier for me.

[groaning]
Oh, my shoulder! Ow!

Yo, you alright, man,
you alright?

Old man, huh?
Oh, I've got you now.

Oh, young blood.

- Yeah, young blood.
- Get off me, man.

Yeah, young blood.

[howling]

What's that?

Um, I don't know.

Coyote?

What do they eat?

[growling]

One of those?

[instrumental music]

What is taking so long?

You have got to find my father!

Don't worry, Ranger Franklin's
our best tracker.

He never comes back
empty-handed.

Oh, this is a tragedy.

Oh, don't worry, Carlton, I'm
sure everything's gonna be okay.

Okay? I'm missing
"The Jeffersons Live On Stage."

Right now I bet George is
calling somebody a jive turkey.

I don't know
what you're complaining about

This is hardly the way
I wanted to spend my weekend.

Sitting around
in some dusty old shack

waiting for Will to show up.

Man, it's tough
findin' people in the woods.

We'll try again in the morning.

Well, no hurry.

[chuckles]

Look, my nephew is a city
boy.

I'm worried that he might not be
able to survive in the woods.

- Oh, where's he from?
- West Philadelphia.

Oh, don't worry,
if he can survive there

a couple of snakes and bears
aren't gonna bother him.

[laughs]

[instrumental music]

What are you doing?

What's it look like I'm doing?
I'm blowin' on the embers.

Uh, you're blowing
the fire out, man.

Look, relax, I got a idea.

What are you doin'?

- Just stand back, please.
- Hey.

What are you doing
with my Red Rooster?

Damn!

And that was just the mild.

Ooh.

Man..

Look at those stars.

You don't see them like that
back in the city.

Yeah, too much light.

You know,
bein' out here in nature

uh, two guys
against the elements

it's like guys just

naturally kind of bond
with each other, you know?

You come together
through a tough situation..

...actually start
to like each other.

That ain't happening with us.

Not even a little.

Man, look at that moon.

♪ Somewhere there's music ♪

♪ How plain the tune ♪

♪ Somewhere there's heaven ♪

♪ How high the moon yeah ♪♪

Hey, what you know
about some jazz, boy?

Oh, man, my grandma
used to play Ella all the time.

Ella, Sarah, Thelonious,
Miles, Bert.

Oh, man, those were the days.

- Before the music d*ed.
- Ah.

Hey, yeah, you can stop there,
the music ain't d*ed.

Now you got Guru,
Digable Planets

A Tribe Called Quest.

"The Defense Rests."

[chuckles]
No, I'm telling you, man,
you know they got

a nice blend
of the old school with the new.

- Lisa likes it.
- Lisa listen to jazz?

Oh, man,
we listen to jazz every time

when we try
to get in the mood..

Is that Orion the Hunter?

Look at that.

You know, Will, about Lisa..

...sometime I am
a little overprotective of her.

But she's my baby girl.

Heck, she's all I got now,
that I lost my plane.

Mm-hmm, I'm saying, I mean,
I-I can dig that and everything.

But don't you care
what she wants?

Nope.

Put some more hot sauce on the
fire, I'm gonna go on to bed.

♪ Somewhere there's music
hey hey hey ♪

♪ How high the moon ♪

♪ Hey hey hey ♪

[groans]

[fire crackling]

[laughs]

[instrumental music]

I mean, I always found it
so incredible

that only I could prevent
forest fires.

I mean,
that's so much responsibility.

You know, I really should be out
there lookin' for your cousin.

Uh, don't worry,
Will likes to sleep in.

- Will!
- Oh, thank God you're alright!

- Hey..
- Oh!

The pool house wouldn't have
been the same without you, Will.

Hey, thanks a lot, Carlton.

There, I said it! You happy?

Will, where's my father?

Oh, hey, it's alright,
baby, he is fine.

- But what happened?
- Well, you know..

We had a little engine
trouble
and we went down.

Well, but, you know, it was
actually the best thing

could have happened to us,
yeah, we landed

kind of in this wooded glade

you know,
near this bubbling brook.

Uh, kind of looked like
the beer commercials.

Except there wasn't
no naked honeys.

Wasn't no beer.

Oh, but you know what,
I don't know if it was

the-the beauty of the area

or-or just being outdoors,
but we-we kind of bonded.

Well, why didn't he come back
with you?

Ah, look, I could not
tear him away, you know?

I told him we could probably
just walk down this brook

take us back to civilization,
but he said

"No, you go on without me,
I wanna stay here

and be at one with nature."

You know, you can't be at one
when you two, so I jetted.

- Really?
- Well, hey, you know what?

I'm telling you,
your father is a changed man.

He-he said we should go to Palm
Springs and enjoy ourselves.

You mean, he actually said
that we could go?

It was he insisted!

Well, now that we know
you're all safe

I can still catch my flight
to the Bahamas.

Come on, everybody,
let's go, we're out of here.

[crickets chirping]

Where's that boy
with that firewood?

Wilbur!

Yo, outside
is a trail of hot sauce.

Light a match,
take you right to him.

[instrumental music]

Wilbur! Ah, Robin Hood,
are you around here?

- Alright..
- Anybody!

Red Rooster? Anybody, give me
a hand. Squirrel! I need..

Give me a piece of cheese,
I'm hungry.

Little Red Riding Hood,
where are you?

Wilbur! Hey!

They leaving me out here
by myself, I'm scared!

(male #1)
We need some more people,
come on in.

The Three Bears, where are you?

- Help me, somebody.
- John, John, the show's over.

Help me, help me, please!
Wilbur, where are you?

The show.. Alright, you can stay
out here if you want.

(Adams)
Wilbur! What the hell happened
to everything?

[instrumental music]
Post Reply