06x03 - Heart of Darkness

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Xena: Warrior Princess". Aired: September 1995 to June 2001.*
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06x03 - Heart of Darkness

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Xena...

You're gonna love Amphipolis.
It's...

...so full of life...

-Grandmother...
-Did you see her, Eve?

She's trapped in this house.

Mephistopheles... sent evil spirits
to Cyrene's tavern...

-They b*rned her at the stake.
-Whoever kills me...

...must take my place
and reign over Hell.

I am at last made flesh!

So be it.

-What happens now?
-I don't know.

I've got a feeling
it's not over yet.

Xena will never go down to Hell
voluntarily.

When she opened up that portal...

...and k*lled Mephistopheles,
she became him.

You know the rules.
She belongs on that throne.

The last time Xena
was in Hell...

-...she almost captured Heaven.
-Well, we've gotta do something.

We can't just leave her on Earth
with pure evil streaming out of that portal.

Aren't you two inspiring?

Michael and Raphael...
Chief warrior angels of the chief himself...

...quaking like a couple
of frightened children...

You're very sure of yourself,
aren't you?

I'm sure of both my faith
and my devotion...

...which has fueled my speedy ascent
up the hierarchy.

A climb that will continue
with a promotion to Seraphim.

And how do you plan
to achieve that?

By throwing Xena down into Hell
myself.

You realize
Xena has the power to destroy angels.

She will use that power,
unless I send her to Hell.

Very well...

Proceed.

He just may be the right one
for the job.

He may be perfect.

A great evil is coming,
Gabrielle.

I can feel it.

Maybe that's because you're standing
near the portal to Hell.

Maybe...

But there's a reason
it's remained open...

...even after
Mephistopheles' death.

It's waiting for something.

Yes, it is, Eve.

It wants... your mother.

Who?...

Why are you here?

To do what Eve knows in her heart...
must be done.

But since we're both
on the same side...

...I felt that she at least deserved
the courtesy... of a quick goodbye.

Xena...

Get away from my horse.

I was just being friendly.

I've heard that before.

I came to offer my services, Xena.

After everything you've done
for the city and our people...

...I'd like to help restore
your mother's tavern.

Well, thanks.

Xena...

Xena, we've got a problem.

Let me guess...
It's huge and potentially devastating.

An angel...

Well, I'm more than an angel.

I'm an archangel...

...destined to become
a household name...

...especially after I send
Xena to Hell.

So it is huge
and potentially devastating.

Goody...

As Eli's messenger,
I tell you this is wrong.

What's wrong is
your mother's selfish refusal...

...to bow
to the prophecy of Mephistopheles' throne.

Fortunately Heaven's got me
on its side.

Now, if you'll excuse us...

...we have a steaming portal
to get to.

Stay out of this, Gabrielle.
I wish you no harm.

That's surprisingly decent...

...coming from one so guilty
of indecent exposure.

I expose nothing.

Except your abundant pride.

You're obviously not aware
that this pride you accuse me of...

...is a mortal sin.

One of the seven deadlies,
in fact.

So I can understand you wanting
to keep it quiet...

-... being an angel and all.
-You twist my words.

No, I straighten them out.

And you should thank me because
they're the last ones you're ever gonna speak.

Because I am a generous soul,
I'm going to make sure that Gabrielle...

...records your household name
for all of posterity.

Lucifer...

My name's Lucifer.

Has a nice ring...

...kinda like a death knell.

In the time of ancient gods,...

...warlords...

...and kings...

...a land in turmoil
cried out for a hero.


She was Xena.

A mighty princess...

...forged in the heat of battle.

The power...

The passion...

The danger...

Her courage will change the world.

XENA, THE WARRIOR PRINCESS

Mother, don't.

You can't m*rder
a servant of God.

Was he serving God when
he tried to send me to Hell?

-No.
-Yes.

It's not always possible for mankind...

...to understand or interpret
God's will.

Well, well...

Seems you've got
quite a dilemma here, Xena,...

...'cause you know
if you don't k*ll me now, I'll try again.

Well, that's what I'm counting on.

You see, things have been
a little dull around here...

...since Mephistopheles
lost his crown.

Come on, Luci...
I won't bite.

You don't mind
if I call ya Luci, do ya?

No.

Lucifer...

Lucironi...

...Big "L".

Good trick.

Come on, let me buy ya
a drink.

It's all right.
I know the owner.

What was that?

A cancerous evil
has taken root within her heart...

...and is at this very moment
destroying her soul.

As usual,
you two are completely overreacting.

Overreacting?
You don't get it.

Xena, this evil
is seeping up through Hell.

It's coming through that portal
straight to your heart.

You may not be descending
to Mephistopheles' throne voluntarily...

...but obviously it's coming up to claim
its new queen.

You mean,
its rightful ruler.

That would be you.

Not if I can find someone else
to take my place...

Him.

You're gonna turn an archangel
into the king of Hell?

He's less of an angel than I am.

He just doesn't know it yet.

How do you plan on making him see the light?

By showing him
how much he's gonna love the dark.

Eli says...
"To corrupt another is to corrupt yourself."

Eve...

Listen.

Fruit rots
from the inside out.

It's not called corruption
if you just peel away the layers...

...to expose the rotten core.

That is, unless you want
mommy to go to Hell.

Well, then...

Nice place you got here.

Well, that's the last time I let an evil demon
do the redecorating.

Trust me...

The more you drink, the better it looks.

No one's that thirsty.

You'd be surprised.

Come on.

Come on, take a load off.

You know, I've travelled the world...

...and I've never found a place
with such tranquility.

Here's to worldy delights...

Oh, come on.
When on Earth.

You know, the world has many such pleasures
to offer, Lucifer.

Which is why I'm not thinking
of leaving it any time soon.

Despite what you and your friend Michael
might have planned.

You mean,
despite what you promised.

I never promised anything
when I vanquished Mephistopheles.

But you were aware
that came with certain obligations.

Even heroism
comes with a price, Xena.

It also brings
unexpected rewards...

...just like it brought you to me.

You say that like it's a good thing.

It's not often that I meet
an adversary whose...

...other attributes equal his prowess
with a sword.

Eli's love, it's reward enough in itself.

It blesses both the giver
and the receiver. It...

Sounds like a bunch of ox dung to me.

That's because we've been raised
on this ignorant notion...

...that riches and selfishness
can fill the emptiness in our souls.

If that's true, then I say let's leave
the enlightenment and the poverty...

-...to the poets and the prophets.
-No.

You would say that,
you stupid sow,...

...the way you and that lazy husband of yours
have been stealing from us for years.

Please! You don't even know
what you are talking about.

I don't know what's wrong with them.

I do.

Gabrielle, there's a man here
looking for you and Xena.

Have you ever asked yourself
why the denizens of Heaven itself...

...are denied
the most heavenly pleasures?

I don't ask questions, Xena.

I do as I'm commanded.

Well, I don't know why
you're not Seraph yet.

I bet even
on your worst days...

...you're twice the angel
those others are.

If only my superiors were
as perceptive as you.

I do have an eye for talent.

And quick hands.

With these hands...

...I can attain both pleasure and power
for whomsoever I choose.

Let me use them to make you
the envy of all the angels...

...instead of you
being the one who does all the envying.

You make an enticing offer.

Especially when you consider
what an unappealing quality...

...envy is in an angel.

You mean
what a sinful quality, don't you?

Well, if the truth hurts...

-...let me make it better.
-How?

Stay on Earth
and I'll show you.

You can't imagine what it's like,
Lucifer,...

...to sample flesh
in every form.

Despite what you may think,
Xena,...

...it's not the flesh that's appealing.

It's the spirit.
Because...

-...that's where the power...
-That's where the power comes from.

I know.

Who are these travellers?

I don't know, but they've been arriving
in droves all day.

The group your friend Virgil is with
were headed over to the armory.

What interest could Virgil have
with weapons?

You know men
and their toys.

It doesn't sound like the Virgil I know.

Gabrielle, look.

Virgil?

Oh, Virgil... Hey!

You look tastier than I remember.

Virgil? Will you help me?
He's hurt.

Sure.
Anything for you, babe.

What are you doing, Virgil?

He's following his heart...

...just like all these other people.

What are you saying?

The portal is a magnet.
It's drawing people here.

It's feeding their dark side.

It's creating a Hell on Earth,
Gabrielle.

You and I have much in common.

Of course we do.

You're a mortal female
with a lying tongue,...

...savage tendencies...

...and a blonde girlfriend.

I'm a celibate archangel,
in the service of the Lord.

Ah, yes, but we're both
sinners at heart, you and I,...

...trying to walk a path
that we weren't meant to.

Your reputation for wit
is well deserved.

Me, a sinner?

You hit two of the top seven
in your first hour here.

What do you call that?

Beginner's luck?

Red is definitely your color.

You know, I see the same spirit
burning in you.

If we put 'em together
we could rule both Hell and Earth.

Why don't you start by taking me
to Heaven?

Gladly.

What are you doing?

It's egyptian massage.

It's one of the world's greatest
and most sensual pleasures.

It's not exactly
what I had in mind but...

...it'll do for now.

Virgil, I thought you
were off writing poetry.

You've heard the old adage
"Write what you know."?

Well, it turns out that shearing sheep
and shoeing horses...

...provide a pretty shallow well
from which to draw.

There's a difference
between getting life experience...

...and b*ating an innocent man.

No man is innocent...

...or woman.

You don't believe that.

He can't know what he believes.

Not when his heart is lying to him.

No!

It lied to me when it urged that forgive you
for murdering my father.

-Now, is Xena here or not?
-What do you want with her?

Rumor has it that with the gods dead,
she's about to take the reigns of power.

I was hoping that when
I pledged my life to her mission...

...I'd be doing it with you
at my side.

Are you feeling any more relaxed?

Ready for the next phase
of my earthly education.

Well...

Lesson ...

Lose the dagger.

Especially when I know you don't really wanna
send little Xena to Hell.

Ah, you doubt
my resolve...

Oh, no.

Why don't you just k*ll me?

Because wasted potential
is the greatest sin of all.

I wanna be your salvation, Lucifer.

I want nothing from you.

Then how about everything?

That's a gib word.

Oh, it's a big world.

That's what I'm offering.

This is a sign
of my continued commitment...

...to convert this temple and these people
to your ways of love, Eli.

It is a humble reminder
that I cannot do this alone.

What a long-winded way
to ask for help...

-Let's hear your version.
-What for?

I came for some peace and quiet
in which to think...

Not ask for assistance.

You need Eli's assistance.

Although perhaps you're too far gone
even for that.

Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena!
xena! Xena! Xena! Xena!

Let's party!

Come on, ladies!
I am all yours!

Out of the way, Eve.

Mother...

Your purpose will not be served
by subjecting this temple...

...or this town
to further desecration.

It's not desecration, Eve.

We're just throwing a farewell bash
for our celestial guest...

...assuming
that he'll give us the pleasure.

The pleasure's all mine, Xena.

Because the farewell I'll be celebrating
is yours.

You should listen to your mother, Eve.

She knows what she's doing.

I wouldn't be so sure, Gabrielle.

Not anymore.

Eve, sweetheart...

If you can't stand the heat...

...then maybe you should
get the Hell out of my kitchen!


Or stay and put out the fire.

No one likes
a party-pooper.

I've had enough.

Perhaps...

...but it'll help us bridge a gap more quickly
since we last so each other.

You mean it would make me drunk...

...and loose.

No one understands my words
better than you, Gabrielle.

Your friends seem
to be enjoying themselves.

Almost as much as you
seem to enjoy watching them.

I'm an angel, Xena.
That's what I do.

Well, there's nothing to keep you one
forever, is there?

Down here the greatest possession
is free will.

Take your destiny in your hands,
Lucifer.

Stay here.
Rule the world with me.

Or you can go back to Heaven,
become a Seraphim,...

...spend the rest of eternity
taking orders.

Your choice.

You make me feel things, Xena.

A hunger...

It's called lust...

...and the best thing is...

...even when you've sated it,
you can never be too full.

Then allow me
to spend eternity...

...trying to devour you.

Will I get another dagger
in return?

No.

You get to devour me.

Body... and soul.

Fortunately, Lucifer,...

...the soul of an archangel
is not his to give away.

It belongs to his god.

Michael...

Since you, better than anyone
know I have the power to k*ll angels...

...I am very impressed you'd come
to do your own dirty work.

You dare talk of dirty work...

...when you besmirch so many souls...

...with your nefarious filth.

Besmirch...

Is that even a real word?

What does it matter?

When these are real swords.

Michael,
I never thought I would do this.

You won't.

Hey!

You know...

I really hope that the main course
is more satisfying than the appetizer.

Your little magic tricks
won't get me into that portal, Raphael.

I know something that will.

Lucifer...

Come on, you're smarter
than that.

This isn't a matter of intelligence, Xena.

-It's about devotion.
-To whom?

-Your god?
-Yes!

The same god that denies pleasures
to angels?

...But grants them to the lowliest creatures
on Earth?

The same pleasures that I would spend
eternity showing you...

If you want redemption, Lucifer,
now is the time.

I was their hero once too.

Look how they've repaid me.

Lucifer...

Lucifer...

I told you we'd make
one hell of a team!

Yes?

I was kind of in the middle of something,
Gabrielle.

Xena, you were supposed
to throw him in the portal.

Yeah? Well, he wasn't ready.

Xena, no one is ready
to go to Hell.

That's the point.

Really?

Well, you and Virgil were lookin' ready
to burn not long ago.

Yeah?

So?

Evil...

The dark side...

It's intoxicating, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. It's intoxicating.

Lucifer and I need time to work out
the terms of our new partnership.

Partnership?

With no one on the throne of Hell
that portal is gonna burst wide open...

...and the kingdoms of Earth and Hell
are going to merge and...

...She'll need more than a mere mortal
to help her rule it.

Who are you callin' mere?

How's your head?

You need my help, Mother.

I'm the only one that sees
what's happening.

You may have the gift of sight, Eve,
but you should trust I have a vision.

As I feared, it's led you astray.

So what?

You gonna illuminate the way
back home?

Hopefully...

...before the light within
is extinguished.

Where did I go wrong?

You've gotten in mommy's way
for the last time.

I hope you don't mind.
I asked them to ready the room for us.

Thank you, Aliyah.

It was a pleasure to serve you.

And now it'll be mine.

Not now, Lucifer.

-Don't tell me you've got a headache.
-Yes, and her name is Eve.

We won't have any peace
until we've dealt with her.

Peace... Peace is overrated.

It's passsion... that makes one feel alive.

Passion is also unpredictable...

As I learned when you nearly
joined Michael in feeding me to the flames.

Old habits die hard.

Right now, I'd do anything
to make it up to you.

Even tell Michael
and his god...

...that the world is ours
and they better stay the hell out of our way?

What makes you think
they'll listen?

Oh, they'll listen when we k*ll
their messenger.

k*ll Eve?

Eve? Eve!

Eve!

Eve!

Eve?

Eve, there's nothing to be afraid of,
honey.

I just wanna talk to you.

She could 'a gone
in any direction.

Eve?

The sooner
you stop running...

...the sooner we can clear up
this little misunderstanding.

I love the way
you bait a trap.

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

What are you doing here?

Just havin' an old chat with Eli...

...about why he chose my father's m*rder*r
as his messenger.

Really?
What'd he say?

He said "Prayer won't help you now.".

That's why I came for those.

I'm sorry, Eve.

I can't let you do that.

-Gabrielle, please.
-No, listen.

I can't let you discard all your beliefs
because of a crisis.

My beliefs will die with me if I do not
send my mother through that portal.

No.

Look...

The only thing left of my mother
is our memory of her.

If you care anything about that,
you will help me send her through that portal.

I'll help you.

I've got her!

Nice run, Eve.

Made your mom proud.

She came for the swords.

My little pacifist?

How enterprising...
and hypocritical.

Have you learned nothing
from our time together?

I've learned this...

...and this.

And most importantly I've learned...

...that the heart can betray.

But the sword never lies.

Great farewell speech.

Time to go.

Wait!

If anyone deserves
this historic opportunity...

...is Gabrielle.

What...?

Gabrielle?

She's been my partner
for years.

She's shared things with me
you can never understand.

What about our partnership?

You can't expect me to trust
someone so ripe for corruption.

Someone so quick to switch sides...

...and someone who without even realizing it,
has committed...

...every deadly sin but one.

You tricked me!

You tried to k*ll me.

What did you expect?

I swear to you, Xena,...

...I will spend eternity
making sure you feel my wrath.

Wrath?

Congratulations, Lucifer.

You just won
the deadly sin lottery...

...with a perfect score
of seven out of seven.

First prize
is a one-way ticket to Hell.

How dare you be so smug...

...when men sin every day?

That's what makes us human, Lucifer.

But in you, an archangel,...

...to succumb to such temptation,
that's what makes you a monster.

I'm still hot for you, Xena.

Only now I'm bigger, stronger
and more powerful than ever!

That doesn't begin to make up
for the attributes you lost.

What?

What have you done to me?

Only what I suspect
Michael wanted all along.

To put you in touch
with your inner demon.

Your kingdom awaits!

Come, Xena.

You belong to me.

The hell I do.

-Mother!
-Eve...

You're back!

Part of me never left.

I never should have doubted you.

After all you've seen and been through...

...I can't blame you for thinking
the dark side had won.

I just hope that one you'll believe
as strongly as I do...

...in the power of love
to save lives.

Xena, you did more than save lives.
You...

...Saved me from makin'
the mistake of a lifetime.

Right.

Well, I guess I better go clean this mess up.

I'll help.

Thought I'd lost you for a minute there.

Yeah? Which minute was that?

You and Lucifer were looking...

...a little...

Gabrielle, every time I felt myself
start to lose control...

...just thought of you...
led me back home.

Really?

Sure.

Don't go getting all emotional on me, Xena.
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