For ages, the Black man has
been seen as many things.
As sketchy, as wild,
as arrogant and insensitive,
but I'm going to let
you in on a little secret
about Black men.
We have a softer, more sensitive side.
That's right. We love.
The flowers are for his mom.
And it ain't even Mother's Day.
We laugh. Trust me.
That dude is a joy to be around.
We care. This guy cares about animals.
That's a bean burrito,
for your information.
And believe it or not, we cry.
My man gets sad
sometimes, and that's okay.
What I'm saying is...
We got layers, y'all.
Our multitudes got multitudes.
It feels so good
- to get this off my chest.
Thank you for letting me share.
Let's explore all of
this a bit more, shall we?
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Hey, here you go, guys. Hey, baby.
Hey.
Okay.
- [GIGGLES]
- [SIGHS]
Damn, homey, I know I said
don't bang where we hang,
but you got her slobbing on the job,
so it must be going well.
- How long's it been now?
- Four months.
The thing about her is,
I've never been in love
with someone more in my entire life.
- What?
- Full stop.
Bro, you out here
looking like a trampoline.
Extra sprung. Boing, boing.
Oh, he's been like this
ever since we were kids.
In elementary school, every Halloween,
he would dress up as a loving husband.
- What?
- What is that costume?
Okay, shut it down for a second, okay?
Because you guys are making
it sound like I'm a sap,
and I'm definitely not, okay?
Lest we forget, I used to
be out on these date streets
running hella game, okay?
Dates on dates on dates
on dates on dates on dates.
It's just with Alicia, you
know, she's... she's special.
Oh, come on, man, every other
girl you meet is special
or one of a kind or had you at hello.
But I know what's really going on.
The sex is b*mb. She must
be breaking that back.
[LAUGHTER]
For the last time,
can we please not talk
about me having b*mb sex
in front of my sister?
For the last time, yes, we can.
My sexuality has always
been key to this group.
For example, I have a Tinder date later,
and I'm hoping it ends with
our crotches getting steamy.
Oh, thanks, Nicky. That reminds me.
I'm throwing an anniversary
party next week,
and I expect all y'all to be there.
What did Nicky just say that
reminded you of your anniversary?
On our honeymoon,
Kristen and I were having
breakfast in bed, and I
spilled mint tea on my crotch.
- Steamy crotch.
- That makes sense.
- Oh, yeah, it does.
- So speaking of anniversaries,
feels like now's as good a time
to tell you guys as any.
I'm gonna ask Alicia to marry me.
- BOTH: What?
- Why would you do that?
Wait, what's... What's with the mumbles?
[BOTH MUMBLING]
Seriously, dude, I've had
almond milk in my fridge
longer than you've been with Alicia.
So maybe you're rushing.
Or maybe you should drink
your almond milk faster.
No, man. He's right.
No Black man should get
married before age .
You still look the same
and you get more time
to sow your royal oats.
- Give me some.
- "Royal oats"?
This isn't "Coming to
America," and even if it was,
Prince Akeem chose love
over the single life.
Nah, I'm all for it.
I love my queen, and I'm excited
that you gon' lock it
down with yours, Noah.
Noah.
Noah.
As I said before, boing, boing.
[LAUGHS] What y'all say?
- BOTH: Whoo!
- [BOTH LAUGH]
- That sex.
- Mm.
Wow, that was a great game out there.
I mean, you really left
it all out on the court.
I know. You... you were on fire.
Hitting buckets from deep.
[BOTH LAUGH]
- [SIGHS]
- Whoo!
_
[LAUGHS]
_
_
- _
- Sup?
Sup, king?
Chilling, man. How you doing?
Good, good, good.
Yo, man, have you been using my Netflix?
Oh, yeah, homey, I've been watching
this Japanese reality show
called "Ainori Love Wagon."
Everyone is so polite,
but there's still palpable tension.
That joint goes hard.
That's great, but now my
algorithm's all confused.
- All my shows are Japanese.
- You're welcome.
Or should I say... [SPEAKING JAPANESE]
- "Million Yen Women."
- Oh, that joint goes hard.
- "Samurai Gourmet."
- That joint goes so hard.
- "Devilman Crybaby."
- That joint goes the hardest.
"Kantaro: The Sweet Tooth Salaryman"?
Ah, correction. That
joint goes the hardest.
- [LAUGHS]
- Okay, cool.
So it would be great
if you could get your
own account at some point.
- Oh, yeah. I know, right?
- Yeah, right.
Also, have you seen my kombucha?
Oh, definitely. I drank those.
The whole case?
Oh, yeah, bro. I was
doing some research.
Turns out kombucha has hella benefits
like reducing your risk of cancer,
promoting mental health.
It's like a liquid shield. Who knew?
Can you buy me another pack, please?
Oh, for sure, my guy.
Just as soon as I
finishing pumping this iron.
[GRUNTING]
And then Vin Diesel said,
"Nicky, we're family now."
Wow. Now that was an amazing story.
- Thank you.
- This is so nice.
Just being on a date
with a funny, intelligent Black woman.
Well, I guess the Lord hath blessed ya.
So tell me more about your job.
Yeah, I-I work at a hedge fund.
It definitely has its ups and downs.
- Mm-hmm.
- But hey,
at least the economy's recovered, right?
Thanks, Obama.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSICAL STING]
- Ah! Intruder! Intruder!
- No, no, no, no.
[BOTH SCREAM]
- Oh, I can't see!
- You picked the wrong one.
Get ready to die. I'll cut you deep.
It's Noah. It's Noah.
- Noah?
- Yes!
Boyfriend Noah. Please don't s*ab.
You scared the crap out of me.
What's with this measuring tape?
Oh, snap, was I... Was
I sleep measuring again?
- Hm?
- Right. Sorry.
I was just trying to
measure your ring finger
to propose marriage.
I love you, Alicia.
And I... I wanna spend the
rest of my life with you.
- Really?
- Yeah.
So what do you think?
[SOFT MUSIC]
No.
Uh...
Okay, so my date with
Davis went really well.
He's got a sexy mind and body
and smells like fresh lavender.
But at one point in
the night, he did say,
"Thanks, Obama."
Wait, how'd he say it?
Like, "Thanks, Obama!"
It was sarcastic. Like, "Thanks, Obama."
Made me wonder if he was,
like, a Black Republican.
But they're not out here in
the streets like that, right?
So what are you gonna do?
I suppose the only way to
figure out what he meant
is to see him again
and have sex with him.
Ow! Thanks, Obama. [LAUGHS]
Yo, this new bar is dope.
Hey, how's that tequila neat?
Looks like they did a good job.
It's a tequila neat, so I guess they did
a pretty good job pouring
tequila in a glass.
Hold up, I sense darkness
in your brightness.
What's going on?
And why aren't we at Dolly Pitchers?
Oh, right. Well, Alicia and I broke up.
She figured out I was gonna propose
and said that she needed some space,
and I was like, "Done."
Whoa, whoa, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
So we can't go to
Dolly Pitchers anymore?
- Damn!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Let's not make him feel bad.
He just had his heart broken.
Man, I just had my heart broken too.
Dolly Pitchers gave out free hot dogs
on Wednesday nights.
I just lost Weenie Wednesdays.
Weenie Wednesdays is
the least of our worries.
Breakup Noah is back.
- Oh, no.
- Okay.
I knew you guys were gonna
bring up how I have reacted...
- ALL: Overreacted.
- In the past to breakups.
But that was the old me,
okay? I can handle myself now.
Man, please.
You gon' wallow, and
then you gonna beg for her
to take you back with your
last-scene-in-a-rom-com ass.
Admit it. You're soft like baby butt.
No. I'm... I'm hard like muscle butt.
Look, okay, I am
totally fine, all right?
I promise you, I'm moving on.
- Yeah, okay.
- Yeah, right.
Guys, I am for real.
I'm good, and we just found ourselves
a new go-to bar, so I'm extra good.
Wait, what's happening?
Don't worry. Everything's fine.
This only happens
every minutes or so.
We should keep searching
for a new bar, yeah?
- ALL: Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
- Sup.
- Sup.
Man, I'm trying to take a little nap
and that's a little loud.
You think you could get
a couple decibels off that joint?
Damn, my bad.
It's just the music really
helps me lock into my work.
- Any chance I could leave it?
- Uh, yeah.
Yeah, all right, cool. Yeah, no problem.
Oh, hey, by the way,
I got new toilet paper
since it was my turn.
I just got the single
ply. It was on sale.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
But you know I like the TP
with the thickness, right?
Preferably the brand
where the bears are
taking a dump in the woods.
Yeah but it's kinda all the same to me
and I didn't think
you'd mind saving money
since you don't have a job-job.
Oh.
You know, that's an interesting point.
I hadn't thought about it
in the way you just put it.
Thank you for your
consideration in this matter.
For sure.
- Sup?
- Sup.
- Nothing, you?
- Nothing.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Yeah, enjoy that nap.
- Thank you.
- I'ma get my Z's on.
- Do that.
- All right.
- All right.
Now a look at the weather with Danielle.
[PHONE RINGS]
- Hey, Wyatt.
- Hey, Noah.
How you doing? How you holding up?
You know, at first, I was like,
sh*t through the heart,
shout-out Bon Jovi.
But now I'm stronger than yesterday.
Shout-out Britney Spears.
We are never, ever
getting back together.
Shout-out Taylor Swift.
Noah, those are the white people
that you listen to when you are saddest.
Are you sure you're good?
Dude, seriously, I'm... I'm fine.
But enough about me.
- Like, how are you?
- Oh, good. Good.
Just putting the finishing touches
on this eighth anniversary party.
You know, I want it to be perfect.
Let me run some titles by you.
"Death Won't Do Us Part Eight."
"The Plus One Year Bash."
"Eight Night with Conan O'Versary."
"Can't Hardly Eight."
Hey, Noah?
Noah, are you sure you're good?
'Cause I'm pitching gold over here.
Huh? Yeah. Yeah.
♪ I could hardly believe it ♪
♪ When I heard the news today ♪
♪ I had to come and get
it straight from you ♪
[MICHAEL BOLTON'S "HOW AM I
SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU"]
♪ They said you were leaving ♪
♪ Someone swept your heart away ♪
♪ From the look upon your face ♪
♪ I see it's true ♪
♪ So tell me all about it ♪
♪ Oh, then tell me one thing more ♪
♪ Oh, then tell me one thing more ♪
- _
- ♪ Before I go ♪
♪ Tell me, how am I supposed
to live without you? ♪
[GLASS CHIMES]
I'd like to thank
everyone for coming out
to Wyatt and Kristen's "Twist of F ,
The Future Looks Gr ."
My wife is the smartest,
kindest person that I know.
And she is so beautiful. I mean, damn.
- Oh, damn you.
- Oh, damn you.
- Ooh, no, damn you.
- No, damn you.
- BOTH: Damn you.
- Damn you, girl.
I want to damn you all day.
You gonna damn you all day?
I'm gonna damn you all night.
I love you so much, baby.
And I love you too.
- Cheers, y'all.
- ALL: Cheers.
Hey, guys. Happy anniversary.
Aw, thanks, girl. So good to see you.
Noah, I'd love to introduce
to some of my friends
now that you're back on the market.
There are some baddies
here, and they're all single.
Well, I mean, as much as I love the fact
that you refer to your
friends as baddies,
I'm actually gonna head
home in a little bit.
Wow, he'd rather go home and ponder
his dead relationship
than stay at the party.
- Mm-hmm. Baby butt.
- Boing, boing.
You know, I was % gonna go home,
but I'm actually feeling a second wind.
So yeah. Let's mingle.
You guys better grab your umbrellas,
because there's about to
be a torrential flirt storm.
- Okay.
- Okay.
That is a beautiful
dress. Is that Cushnie?
- Um, yes.
- I'm Noah. Nice to meet you.
[SMOOTH MUSIC]
- You like kisses?
- Excuse me?
I'm sorry, I meant, quiches.
Noah. Nice to meet you.
I come to bury Caesar, not praise him.
BOTH: The evil that
men do lives after them.
The good is oft interred
with their bones.
So let it be with Caesar.
Noah. Nice to meet you.
So what's the latest with Davis?
- Is he elephant or donkey?
- I think he's donkey.
He's just so kind,
caring, and giving in bed.
Yo, see our boy Noah over there?
Permission to dance up on you?
Permission granted.
[R&B MUSIC PLAYING]
Future's looking quite
great for him right now.
Meanwhile, the future's not
looking so great for this bar.
Couldn't find a coaster, Ray Charles?
[LAUGHS] Ray Charles.
That's funny 'cause he
didn't see the coaster.
And the future's not looking
so great for your facial hair,
over here looking like
a unfinished drawing.
- Ooh, that's a good visual.
- Ha, okay. You're bald.
- Ooh, heyo.
- And you look like you grew up
in a country club, you sellout.
Ooh, this was fun just a second ago.
Is everything okay between you two?
Oh, I'm all good over here.
Oh, we're great. Never better.
- I'ma gonna go this way.
- And I'ma go that way.
The [BLEEP] just happened?
♪ Real love ♪
♪ I'm searching for a real love ♪
Permission to get outta here
and see where
the rest of the night goes?
Permission granted.
♪ Real love ♪
♪ I'm searching ♪
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
You're cute.
[PHONE RINGING]
I have to take this.
Yo, this place is cool, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, it's all right.
All right, well, next round's on me.
- Anybody need anything?
- Actually, I need a tea.
I would like to have
the "how was the rest of
your night with Kim" tea.
- [LAUGHTER]
- It was a great night.
You know, she's a dope person.
It was great getting to know her.
Man, cut the crap.
Did you put some miles
on the mattress or zwhat?
A gentleman does not kiss and tell.
So I guess I'm a bad boy, because yeah.
[LAUGHTER AND CHEERING]
God is good.
So when you gonna see her again, bro?
Oh, you know, we're
hanging out next week.
Oh, that's dope. That's dope.
That's weird, because Kristen said
that Kim is going out
of town all next week.
Oh, right. Right.
I meant two weeks. Dinner.
Little Dom's, little Italian, you know?
- I see.
- Yeah.
That's also weird because Kristen said
that Kim is gluten-free.
I didn't realize how
close Kim and Kristen are.
That's so cool.
So you getting Italian
in two weeks with a girl
that can't eat pasta?
Hold on. [SNIFFS]
You guys smell that?
Smell what? I don't smell anything.
Yeah, because no one can
smell their own lie pie.
You're lying. But why?
Because he did hook
up, just not with Kim.
- Alicia.
- [GASPS]
Okay, yes. Yes, we hung out.
We talked and we're both
cool with the casual thing,
so we're on the same page now.
Those sound like different pages, homey.
So you can claim to be
as casual as you wanna be,
but sooner or later, your
heart is gonna grab your brain
by the shoulders and
scream, "This is wack!"
I disagree. Look, I love Alicia.
And I really wanna make this work.
And all I've gotten from
each of you is judgement.
Except for you, Wyatt. Thank you.
- You've been very cool.
- Thank you.
Look, guys, we have
finally found ourselves
a bar that we actually like.
So can you guys just
lay off me for a second
and just let me enjoy
my drinks in peace?
All right, all right.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the rave has begun.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Noah, this is all your fault, my guy.
Hey, man. It's been a week now.
You need to give me my damn kombucha.
Who do you think you're talking to?
I'll get it when I get it.
- Typical.
- Typical what?
Typical you, taking your sweet time.
And typical you,
always buying single ply toilet paper.
It's like wiping your
butt with cotton candy.
Again with the toilet paper.
- Geez!
- Oh.
Oh, so, wanna slap box now.
Oh, you're too soft for all of that.
Soft? I ain't soft. Let's box then.
- Okay. All right.
- Come on. Whoo!
I'm ready for you, baby. I'm ready.
Oh, okay. That was a quick one.
I didn't know we started yet.
- Yeah.
- All right then.
All, right, come on. What you got?
Give me your best sh*t. Oh, whoa!
Man, okay. All right, okay.
Okay. Whoo!
Oh. Whoo! Whoo! Okay.
Ah! Okay, time out. Time out. Time out.
I'm not... I'm not
stopping because I'm hurt.
I'm stopping because my hands hurt
from hitting you too hard.
- Yeah.
- You got a strong jawline.
- Yeah.
- You should be proud of that.
I am. I am actually.
And I too am stopping
because my hands hurt
and definitely not my face.
Look, man, when Noah introduced us,
I was pumped to be living
with one of his homeys from UCLA.
Yeah, well, I was pumped as well.
My homey's homey from home
was bound to be my homey too.
True.
Sometimes I feel like
you look down on me
because I didn't go to
college like the rest of y'all.
I'm smart too, man.
College wasn't for me, but
I got a , on my SAT.
- Really?
- Yeah, man.
Damn.
I'm a dope-ass test taker, brah.
They used to call me
Bubbles in high school
'cause I was always filling
in the right answers.
And because of my
big, juicy butt cheeks.
[LAUGHS]
Look, man, you one of the
smartest people I know.
I mean, I didn't know you got a , .
- That's just...
- Why, what'd you get?
Huh? Right in that
zone. We both did great.
Point is,
sometimes I feel like you
do things to provoke me.
Yeah, I like big sweaters
and my white-collar job,
but that doesn't make me a sellout
or any less Black than you.
Yo, I... now that I hear
it, I was wilding, man.
I never meant to make
you feel like that.
You're definitely Black.
Sure as hell slap like it.
Yo, man, I didn't mean to
make you feel belittled either.
[SOFT MUSIC]
We cool?
Mm.
[BOTH MOANING]
Oh, you are so good at that.
I'm just trying to make you feel good.
[LAUGHS]
- _
- Oh, no.
[DRAMATIC STING]
Oh, no.
[DRAMATIC STING]
Oh, no.
What is it? What happened?
I'm sorry.
Are you a Republican?
Well, yeah. Is that a problem?
But you seem so normal.
[LAUGHS] I am normal.
Look, why can't we just
put politics to the side?
I don't care that you're a Democrat.
I just care that you're
funny and you're smart.
Damn, you turn me on.
Yeah? You're right.
We shouldn't let politics
get in the middle of this.
You know, with you being
so open-minded and all.
- Excellent.
- Yes.
[MOANS]
What are your thoughts
on reproductive rights?
Nope, nope, nope,
nope, nope. Whoo, nope!
- That was a lot of fun.
- Mm-hmm.
So when can I see you again?
- Maybe next week? Let's text.
- Okay, yeah.
Just so you know, I'll
probably be seeing other people,
since, you know, we're
doing the casual thing.
Yeah, I mean, you know,
it's what's best, right?
Right, and just so we clear,
I will be getting
intimate with said people.
For example, hugging and/or kissing
and/or full-on sexual intercourse
since I'm totally chill
and all the way casual.
Yeah, that sounds pretty casual to me.
- Yeah, okay.
- Yeah.
[BOTH LAUGH]
[RELAXED R&B MUSIC]
It's a de Jean Cab Franc.
Enjoy.
- Thank you.
- Great.
Okay, I know we've
been trying to replace
our old go-to bar,
and I've been thinking,
maybe we should try
something completely new.
So a wine bar?
Yeah. It's a fresh start.
But you're back with
Alicia again, right?
We could just go back to Dolly Pitchers.
- Nah, we can't.
- Really? What happened?
[BOTH LAUGH]
Wait, this is wack.
I'm sorry, what?
Look, I'm sick of pretending
I'm someone I'm not.
Now, was me thinking of
marriage too early insane?
Yes, it was absolutely crazy.
But when I was years
old, my mother passed away.
And my father was never
open to love after that,
and he just seems so miserable.
So I always promised myself
that I would rather go crazy
running toward love than
running away from it.
And I may have watched
one too many rom-coms along the way,
but I'm just a boy,
standing in front of a girl,
telling her I don't wanna
have sex with other people.
It's too much pressure,
and what if I forget
which sex moves are for what person?
[SIGHS]
Goodbye, Alicia.
So is Dad's emotional
barrenness after Mom d*ed
the reason why I try to collect
as many dating experiences as possible
while using humor to keep
my walls up emotionally?
Gulp-boo-da-boo! I
guess we'll never know.
[LAUGHTER]
And yeah, I wasn't just
putting up a front with her.
I-I thought you guys were judging me.
But now I realize
that you all were just trying
to help me through this.
Ah, man, I was judging you a little.
So yes. I am soft like baby butt.
But you know what?
That's just who I am, man.
I gotta keep it with
myself and with y'all too.
To keeping it .
ALL: To keeping it .
This is dope Cab Franc.
It's bold with a medium body.
I think I taste notes of blackberry,
maybe a little cocoa in there.
What? Maybe I read
a couple books on wine.
And LeBron drinks it. Wine is Black now.
I kinda like this place.
Yeah, I think I like it too.
Ooh, if you'll excuse me,
my next adventure awaits.
That man over there in a zoot suit...
Ooh, he looking at me
like a old-timey snack.
- Watch out now.
- All right. I see you.
- I see you.
- Here I come.
Ask him where he got that suit.
Looks like they all discovered
a little more about one another
while also discovering wine.
I told you.
Brothers are out here
feeling things, hmm?
Will they continue to grow together?
What challenges will come along the way?
Let's see where this
grand crew goes, shall we?
À votre santé.