01x04 - The $10k Car

[bunniefuu]

- She didn't even consult me.

She just hopped
on the phone like,

"Hey, world, we're gonna
make a $10,000 car

"that I haven't
bothered discussing

with my Head of Communications."

Like, what is the point
of my job?

- Don't start pulling
that thread.

- So is a $10,000 car
even possible?

- Ah, if it is,
it'd be a piece of crap.

We'll have to rename it
the Payne Turd.

- Well, it's my family's name

who's gonna be forever
tied to the turd?

- Pretty sure it's been
tied to worse.

- Like what?
- Blood diamonds.

- Nazis.
- Sex stuff.

- Malcolm X assassination.

- My question is,
who is the market for this?

I mean, who are the people
that only have $10,000

to spend on a car
but refuse to buy pre-owned?

- Okay, so do we tell Katherine

that we don't think
the car is a good idea?

- Oh...
- [chuckles]

Or is everybody too scared?

- Scared? Of Katherine?

- When you say scared,
do you mean...

- I once looked at a rat right
in its eye, like just...

- ♪ Bom bom
bom-bom-bom-bom-bom ♪

♪ Buh buh bom-bom-bom
buh bom-bom-bom-bom ♪

[chorus vocalizing]

- Then we can save
another $74.13

by getting rid
of the passenger-side mirror?

- Ooh, okay.

- Are we allowed to get rid
of a sideview mirror?

- Legally, you only need one.

- Mm-hmm, and safety-wise?

- Legally, you only need one.

- So, if we take these extensive

and, some might even say
questionable, cuts,

we'll be able to retail
the Pika for roughly $11,500.

- Mm. Huh.

Well, I promised that we would
sell the car for $10,000.

- Yes, but $11,500
is the cheapest car

on the market in decades.

- Yeah, I know.
It's so exciting.

So I guess the question is,

how do we get it down
to 10 grand?

- Honestly, I've been
through it a dozen times.

There's nothing left to cut.

- I mean, I hear that,
and you're the expert.

I respect you.

But what I'm asking
is not can you do it,

but how will you do it?

You see the difference?

- Um, we can't.

- Oh, oh.

Let's try not to use the C word.

- Oh, he said "can't," not...

- Can't, yeah.
Oh, I hate that word.

Can we ban that
from the building?

Hey, Dori.
Could you please write a memo?

- Yep, I can do that.

- Nice internalizing.

- Okay, it's just that I ca...

I do not currently see a way

to reduce the price
any more than we already have?

- Well, we're pitching
to the board tomorrow.

So I look forward to seeing how
you rise to meet the challenge.

Good for you.

- Oh, man, giving up your dog?

- Yes. Yeah.

I thought rescuing a dog
from a shelter

would give me
some sense of purpose

or fill some hole in my life,
but turns out, nope.

Just a giant pain in the ass.
So what's the point?

- Unconditional love
and companionship?

- Yeah, well,
you can get an escort

for half of what it costs
to feed this thing.

You interested?

- No, no, no, no, no,
I'm not in market

for an aggressive dog
that has biting issue?

- Well, you can drug it,
you know.

Pop some Dramamine
in its kibble in the morning.

It'll be like a big
sleepy, furry rug all day.

- Think I'm good.

- Well, think about it.

You know, the two of you could
really work well together.

I'm sensing a real connection.

- She can't just say
"figure it out"

as if the problem is
I'm just being stubborn.

Some things can't be done.

It'd be like saying, you know,

"Go and invent time travel
or a perpetual-motion machine."

- What's
a perpetual-motion machine?

- It's a machine that
runs forever... it's impossible.

- Doesn't seem that hard.

- I think she's just
trying to motivate you.

If it's really not possible,
she'll understand.

She is a rational person.

- Is she? I'm not so sure.

- What if you used,
like, a hand crank

or something to keep
the machine going?

- Nope.

Thanks for the backup in there,
by the way.

I appreciate it, friend.
- I didn't do anything.

- Exactly.
You're the closest to her.

If you're not willing to speak
truth to power, no one will.

- Okay, why is it impossible?

- [sighs] It violates the laws
of thermodynamics.

- "The laws?" Okay, narc.

- Shut up.
A, I'm not the closest to her.

Don't even think she likes me.
B, you're the engineer.

It's not like hearing it from
me is gonna change her mind.

- Imagine if someone on
the "Titanic" told the captain,

"I'm not an engineer.

But are we a little short
on lifeboats?"

- Fine. I'll talk to her.
- Thank you.

- Hey, guys.

I know you didn't mean
to do this.

"Titanic" 's a bit of
a sensitive topic for me,

Ten Paynes were on it,
all survived.

- Shocker.

- But two
of their valets didn't, so...

not a nice comment.

- Hey, is this your dog flyer?

- Yeah, yeah, I just
sort of stuck them up.

Do I need a permit or something?

- No, I was thinking about
taking him, but, you know,

a dog's a big commitment.
- Ooh.

No, not this one.

No, he's... he's a... he's
a medium commitment.

Or, actually, he's more of
a small-to-medium commitment.

I think you guys
would get along.

Yeah, I've got a good sense
of these things.

Strong connection, I think.
- How does $800 sound?

- Oh, no, don't worry.
You can have him for free.

- No, I mean, you give me $800.

- No, you want me
to pay you $800 for a dog

that I had to pay
the shelter to adopt.

- Yes, there's expenses.

You got food, vet bills.

And if I'm gonna wake up
every morning and walk him,

I'm going to need to buy
myself a nice watch.

- I don't think that's really...

- Or you can always
send him back to the pound.

You know how they euthanize
dogs nobody wants, right?

They just grab them by the neck

and throw them in the crusher
and just like...

[imitates grinding]

Just so you know
what the stakes are.

- [knocks on glass]
Hello. Got a minute?

- Uh, yeah, sure. Come on in.

Hey, um, which one do you
like better...

The gray or the blue?
- The gray.

- Really? The gray?
- Mm.

Oh, I like the blue, too.

- I was leaning
towards that, actually.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, it's a Bermuda blue.

So it's, you know,
a little touch of island flair.

- So just with this $10,000 car

that we're pitching tomorrow...
- Mm.

- Just wondering how
you're feeling about that.

- I feel great. How do you feel?

- I think it's a very
interesting and ambitious idea.

- Okay.
- But some of us...

And this is not just me...
We're a little worried

that it might be
somewhat impossible to make.

- Sadie, do you know
what my job is as CEO?

- Your job?
It's a lot of thing, isn't it?

- It's pushing people
to do the impossible.

Steve Jobs didn't know
how to program a computer.

Okay? But he had a vision.

And he never took no
for an answer.

Kennedy said, "We would make it
to the moon within the decade."

No one thought
that was possible,

but we did it because we had
a leader that said we could.

- Wow.

I bet that was
really inspiring for you.

- Well, it was 1962,
so I wasn't born yet.

How old do you think I am?
- You look young.

[chuckles] I thought maybe
you'd had worked on.

Not that you look like
you've had to have done...

- Do you want to bail
out of this?

- Yeah.
- Great. Okay.

The point is that this is
how innovation happens.

One person has an idea,

everyone around them
thinks it's a mistake,

but without those mistakes,
we would never reach the moon.

Does that make sense?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, that actually does.

- Good. So you're on board?
- I am.

I am actually on board.
Let's do this.

Should we do like a chant
or something.

No, I'm just gonna go.
[chuckles]

Good chat.

.

- [sighs] Morning.

- Morning.
What are you doing here?

- Katherine asked me to come.
- Oh, yeah.

I figured it would be good
to get his opinion on the car,

since he most closely
represents our target buyer.

- 'Cause I'm poor?
- Uh, oh, no.

- 'Cause I'm Black?
- No.

'Cause you're poor... your words.

Cyrus, proceed.

- All right,
I spent all night with my guys,

but so far, we've managed
to find another $800 in saving.

- Really?

But just yesterday
you were saying

you couldn't find
one dollar to cut.

Guess you just needed to be
pushed a little bit, huh?

- Yep. Guess so.

At any rate,
we took a prototype of the Pika

and roughed in some
of the sacrifices

we'd have to make so you
could get a sense of it.

- Perfect.

- But I have to warn you,
it's not pretty.

- Oh, it's not that bad.

I mean, it's ugly, but what do
you expect for 10 grand, right?

- Oh, no, that's
the Palermo C50.

- It's a $90,000 car.

Voted best midsize luxury sedan.

- Huh.
- Yep.

That's the Pika.

- Yeah. [laughs]
That's interesting.

- Interesting... took the words
right out of my mouth.

- Yeah, it's... you know,
it's smaller than I expected.

- But that would make it

more fuel efficient,
though, right?

- Actually, with the engine
we were forced to use,

it'll get maybe 18 MPG,
like a Hummer.

- Hummers sold well.

People love them. [chuckles]

- If you hate it, Katherine,

we can always go back
to the original,

still overwhelmingly
affordable version.

- I don't know.
What do you think Jack?

Is this something
that you would buy?

- Well, you know...

I guess I'd say if I only had
$10,000 to spend

and I need to buy a car and
I was not willing to buy used,

then this right here
would be an option

that would be one of my options.

- Okay, great. Good, Good.

Well, that's encouraging.
I like that.

- You want to take it
for a test-drive,

get the full Pika experience?

- Uh, is it sa... uh, is it safe?

- Ish.

- [barking]
- Okay.

Sorry, sorry. He's just, uh...
He's just excited.

It's dog for "how you doing?"

- "Shall not be liable
for any injury, death,

or damage caused by dog,
including loss of body parts."

Like he gonna take off
my titty or something?

- It's just a standard
liability release.

If you just, uh... if you could
just initial on the bottom.

So sorry.
- Okay, I'm gonna...

- He just wants to give you
a kiss with is teeth, so...

Great. Okay, fantastic.
Thank you.

And, uh, here is your money.

- Thank you.
- Cash, as requested.

Uh, keep him away from children
and tiny adults.

He's quite blind.
He can't tell the difference.

All right. Great.

- All right, Clarence,
all right.

- [barking viciously]
- Okay. Nope. All right.

[engine rumbling loudly]
- It's a little loud.

- What?

- Loud! It's a bit loud!

- We had to cheap out on the
muffler, the suspension, too!

That's why it's so bumpy!

- You can really feel
the road, though!

Yeah!

- How's the drive?

- Kind of feels like
I'm driving through jelly!

- Is that a good thing?

- I guess, if you like jelly!

- [whispering]
Hey, what happened to you?

Yesterday you're gonna tell her
how bad an idea this was.

Now you're its cheerleader.

- [whispering] She made some
really good points.

- What points?

- What if Steve Jobs
had listened

when people told him
something was impossible.

- Like when his doctor

said you can't cure cancer
with fruit juice?

- No.
[groans] Just...

Look, she was a very successful

CEO of a very
successful company.

So, if she thinks
this is a good idea,

maybe you should try
and support her.

- Okay, so nobody panic,

but I've been trying to brake
for, like, 20 seconds now!

- Okay, it's like
when you crank a radio

and it charges the battery.

So the tires rotate.

That generates energy,
which powers the engine.

That propels the car,
that rotates the tires,

that generates more energy
and on and on,

in perpetuli... lullity.

Goes on forever.
Wouldn't that work?

- My God.
- What?

- You did it.

The brightest minds in history
couldn't cr*ck it,

and Wesley Payne did it
in a day?

- [chuckles]
- This will upend the industry.

Okay? No more petrol,
no more... no more fossil fuels.

- I got the idea...
I saw one of those desk toys

with the clacky balls
and then...

[imitates expl*si*n]
- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- But you know he's
gonna hate this?

The Saudis.
- [gasps]

The Saudis. Yikes.

- Why "yikes, the Saudis"?
- Well, think about it.

They're about to lose
$200 billion worth

of oil revenue every year, just
down the toilet because of you.

- Yeah, but what are
they gonna do... assassinate you?

- Oh, come on, we all
came up with this together.

This was a team effort.

- We had nothing
to do with this, okay?

We're not taking any of the rap

for any of your... your...
Your genius.

- Genius.

- Okay, real funny, dicks.

[laughs mockingly]

- You might...
You should hold on to those.

Your mum might want to put them
on the fridge.

- Well, what about alchemy?
You know, lead into gold?

I'm sure you could
cr*ck that one, Wes.

- Hey, you wanted to see me?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Uh, what do you think
of the slate?

Better than the blue?
- I really like the slate.

- Yeah, I'm leaning
towards the blue.

- Blue would have my vote.
- Yeah, cool.

Thank you. Yeah.

By the way, how are you
feeling about the car?

- The Pika?
- Yeah.

- Uh, great.
It's... it's really exciting.

- Good, yeah, because,
you know, things are a little...

Obviously a little rough
at the moment.

- Yeah. But that... that's normal.

- Yes. Yeah, that is normal.

- Yeah.
- That is normal.

I was gonna say that,
actually, yeah.

So... so just to confirm,

you... you have
zero reservations, though?

- I mean, I do worry a bit
if there's a market for it,

especially
with the low fuel economy,

which means higher gas costs,
plus, aesthetically...

- It's a disaster, isn't it?
- What?

- [scoffs]
I mean, I don't know...

I don't know anything
about cars,

but this... this seems like
a really big mistake.

- But like you said,
without mistakes,

we would have never
made it to the moon.

- Who the [bleep]
wants to go to the moon?

You know what would be different

if we didn't go to the moon?
Nothing.

Not one thing
in this whole world

would be any different
than it is right now.

- Okay, well...
- Why didn't you tell me

what an incredibly bad idea
this was?

- I tried.
You told me to believe in you.

- Believe in me within reason.

I thought that was implied.

You know what?
I need to be able to trust you,

even if that means
telling me the hard truths.

Can you do that?

- Yes.

Sorry. I will try to be better.

- Thank you.

- You know, I think
the blue is tacky

and that the gray carpet
is way better.

- Wow. Okay, I don't know
if you're just lashing out

because you are hurt
that I just yelled at you

or if that is what you really
believe, but either way...

wow.

You've got anger issues.

.

- So let's be honest, guys,
the $10,000 version

of the Pika is terrible.
- Oof, harsh, dude.

- I said we couldn't make one
for that cheap

but I was told I wasn't allowed
to use the C word.

- You're right. It's my fault.

From now on, we can all use
the C word.

- Seriously? Cool.

Do you guys know Janine
in Logistics?

- Okay, here's the problem.

We have to pitch this thing
to the board later.

If they greenlight this,

we actually have to make
this turd-mobile.

- So we cancel the pitch.

- No, I already
announced it publicly.

I can't just turn around
and be like,

"Yeah, I changed my mind.

You know what?
I'm an indecisive lady."

- Uh, yeah, I wouldn't
say it like that.

- Okay, here's what
we got to do, guys...

We got to t*nk the pitch.

- Okay, so you want to make
the car look bad.

- Yeah, but not
so bad that I look stupid

for having thought
it was a good idea before.

- Mm-hmm.
- It's not your fault.

It was Cyrus's crappy design.

- Is this just because I sh*t
down your perpetual-motion car?

- [inhales sharply] No.

- So we need it
to look good enough

that they don't think it's bad,

but bad enough that
they don't think it's good.

- Exactly.
That is the sweet spot.

- Dinner at mine tonight?
[chuckles]

The dog?
No, he... he won't be there.

Yeah, hit by a car.
Obviously terrible.

So I, uh...
I won't be, um... I won't be...

Sorry, one second.

What the [bleep]?

You're selling my dog?

- No, I'm flipping your dog.

- What?

- I'm flipping him... you know,
how they do with houses.

I took your ugly,
broke-down dog, fixed it up,

took some nice pictures,
and relisted it on the market?

- Well... well, you can't do that,

because I paid you
to take the dog, all right?

And for you to then turn around
and sell the dog

and make more money, well,
that's just... it's...

- Smart marketing.

- Look, I could have sold
the dog myself, okay?

If I was comfortable lying

about his many behavioral
issues, all right?

Which I notice you've not
mentioned on here, yeah?

Ever heard
of a duty to disclose?

- It's illegal not to put that
on the flyer?

- I mean, I-I will have to check

the specific Michigan case law,
but it's unethical.

- Well, I'm feeling
okay about it.

- Hey, why doesn't it work?

- Wesley, I'm busy.
- Just explain it to me.

- Fine. The electricity
produced by the tires

will be less than it takes

to push them
an equivalent distance.

It's why we can't end
global warming

by running air conditioners
outside.

The heat generated would
outweigh the cooling effects.

- Even if we use solar.

- [scoffs] I mean, obviously,
that would be better.

But think about
how much electricity

you'd have to generate.

- But if it was solar,
the hotter the day,

the more electricity
we'd have, right?

- Hey... [chuckles]

Becau... See...

[chuckles]

I...

There's a reason.

- Oh, hey, Dori,
which blazer says

"I like her, but I don't want
to buy what she's selling"?

- On the left.
- Great, oh, perfect.

- Uh, "Car and Driver"
is running a story tomorrow

about the 10k Pika.

They sent an advance copy if
you want to take a look at it.

- Oh, God. Ask them to hold off.

With any luck, this whole thing
will be dead by tomorrow.

- Too bad.
It's pretty flattering.

- Really?

What picture are they using?

So listen to this.

"In 1908, Henry Ford
introduced the Model T,

"the first car affordable
to the working class.

"114 years later,

Katherine Hastings is poised
to follow his lead."

- Wow.
- Huh.

- And then look at this section.

- "The Pika will likely be
the first car for many teens,

"who, as they age,

"they return to Payne
for higher-end fare.

"If Payne can maintain
that brand loyalty

Gen Z may have to be renamed
Gen P."

- Gen P.

I mean, is it possible

that we were too quick
to turn on the Pika?

I mean, if we pull
this thing off,

I-I think it may be good.

I-I... Do you guys think
it might be good?

I mean, be honest.

- Are we seriously gonna change
our whole strategy, though,

just based on
one magazine article?

- I mean, they call me
a visionary?

- No, of course, of course.

And it is
a very respected publication.

- All right, guys, let's sell
the crap out of this car.

- [clears throat]
- [groans]

.

- "If you always do
what you've always done,

you'll always get
what you've always got."

Henry Ford.

Henry, who I've been
compared to on occasion,

understood the importance
of affordability.

And that is why I am so excited
to present to you

the newly revised Pika 10k.

This car is...

a real beaut.

[chuckles] I mean, eh,
not really on the outside.

I mean, on the outside,
it's more of a...

More just
sort of an average car.

[chuckles]
But it's inside... inside...

Inside is where
the magic happens.

[laughs] Oh.

You know, it's, uh,
unconventional-looking,

but I think it charms you.

It's just like, um,
Steve "Buskemi" on wheels.

Is it "Buskemi"? Buscemi?

- I think he had it...
"Buskemi," like bruschetta.

- Right. Well, doesn't matter.

Anyway, uh, why don't you
take a moment with these?

And, Sadie, could I please
have a word?

- Yeah.
- Great.

Those graphics are horrible.

I thought we're gonna
spiff them up.

- We did.
Those are the airbrushed ones.

- So those are better
than the actual car?

How much better?
- That's tough.

So subjective.
Four times better?

- See now I'm starting to think
that I was right

when I said
we shouldn't do this.

Is the car good or bad?

- I-I do not know
what you want me to say.

- I want your honest opinion.

- Do you? Do you really?
- Yes.

- Okay, fine. If I was
being chased by wolves

and my only means of escape
was to drive that to safety,

well, okay,
I would take the car,

but it would suck
because that car sucks.

- Thank you.

See? How hard was that?

All right, let's go flush
this turd down the toilet

once and for all.

- I want Clarence back.
I'll buy him back.

I'll go to the nearest ATM.
What was it, $600?

- No, so we actually ran

into a competitive-bidding
situation,

and it's up to $725.

Now, you're more than welcome
to bid $750 or $1,000.

That's our "Buy It Now" option.
I'll give him straight to you.

- You are
a terrible human being.

- Come on, Elliot.

Okay, for an extra 50,

I'll throw in the muzzle
and the chew toys and stuff.

- So you have the specs.

I wish the numbers
were more impressive,

but they are what they are,
and this is how it looks.

So you either like it,
or you don't.

- Katherine, it sounds like
you're underselling the car.

Is this a project
you believe in or not?

- Oh, no, I mean,
I could never pitch something

that I don't believe in.

I-I just want to be up front

about what you're getting,
you know, so...

This is a big swing,
and with big swings,

you get big misses, like,
nine times out of ten, so...

- I'm a bit skeptical.

The numbers are poor, and,
no offense, but it's ugly.

- Oh, no, I respect that.

I mean, honestly, but if this
one doesn't work out,

hey, we'll get them
on the next one.

That's what I think.

- Mark, we brought Katherine
in for a fresh perspective.

If she believes in this,
I say we back her up.

- I have a right
to an opinion, Helen.

- Honestly, Helen, Mark does
have the right to his opinion.

- Sure. It just so happens
that when an idea

comes from a woman,
his opinion is that it's bad.

- Oh, God. Here we go
with the woman stuff.

- Can we discussed
this in private?

- I think private's better.

- Fine, let's do the stupid car

if it's that important to you.
- Mark, don't gaslight her.

- Bill, that's not
what that means.

- I haven't done a lot of these.

Is this how it usually goes?
- Ah, some better, some worse.

- That's the problem.

- You need to check
your privilege, Helen.

- You check
your privilege, Mark.

- So then this idiot says,

"Couldn't we stop global
warming if we all just had

solar-powered air conditioners?"

And I was, like, trying
to explain how dumb that was,

because, like, why...

How... what would you...

If you were explaining,
what would you...

What would you say to...
[chuckles]

Why wouldn't that work?

Right?

- [knocks on glass] Hey.

- Oh, hey. Hear the news?
Greenlight.

- Mm, I heard.

So congratulations?
- Yeah.

Maybe it'll be a good thing.

I mean, it's a risk,
but it could be good.

You think it'll be good?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, good.
- Yeah, I do, yeah.

- Okay. I'll walk you out.

Ooh...

final call...

Slate, right?
- That's what I'd do.

- Yeah. Yeah. Slate it is.

- Cool.
[both chuckle]

- Wait one second.