02x05 - Uncle Eddie's Trust

[bunniefuu]

You ran out of beers with
your pals the other day...

What do ya have, some
kind of drinking problem?

- What's the problem, Dan?
- That's alcohol's abuse.

- Well, to be fair...
- Oh, don't say "to be fair."

I hate when people say "to be fair."

It sounds like, "To be fai-uh."

To be fai-uh.

Well, to be fai-uh.

The bottom inch of a
beer bottle is % spit.

Well, don't be gross.

Bugs could have crawled
down there and d*ed, too.

- You don't know.
- What'd I just say?

Well, it's the same reason you don't eat

the bottom of an ice cream cone.

Not sure how I feels about this talk.

What, do you think they
check for bugs down there

in the cone factory? f*ck, no.

They just throw the cones
in the box. Figure it out.

Can we move past this, please?

What, do ya think they
check for bugs down there

at the cone shop? f*ck, no.

They just throw the ice cream
on there. Have a good one.

This conversation's fast
becoming a confrontation.

Like, here, have some ice cream

and f*cking bugs, likely.

What do you do with the
bottoms of the ice cream cones?

Well, you throw it on
the f*cking ground, Dan.

You let the bugs eat it.
It's the circle of life.

Didn't you never see The Lion King?

You know I love The Lion King.

We're out of beer.

- No.
- No.

Beer store's closed.

f*ck, do I miss MoDean's.

Reason f*cking five million

we need some sort of bar in this town.

Green, blue, and gold?

I don't like where this is headed.

Yeah, it's the leftovers
from the Christmas potluck.

We haven't had that in years.

A half dozen at least.

Well, a half baker's, but
that's splitting hairs.

Creme de menthe, Blue Curacao,
Butter Ripple Schnapps.

Now, what the f*ck am
I supposed to do with

creme de menthe?

Splash of milk, with three
scoops of chocolate ice cream,

you got yourself a Frozen Girl Scout.

Do I look like the type of prick
to have a Frozen Girl Scout, Dary?

What am I supposed to do with

Blue Curacao?

Mix apple juice, pear juice,
garnish with blackberries,

you got yourself a Blue Bijou.

I think I'd rather have a Blue Bijou.

- There's not enough for two.
- Says you.

Well, what am I supposed to do with

Butter Ripple Schnapps?

Well, that's easy,
Katy-Kat. Down the hatch.

I'd be tasting that for days.

(SIGHS)

What's the meaning of this?

- I found it in an old golf bag.
- And why do you get it?

- It's warm.
- It's still a beer.

- Well, to be fair...
- To be fai-uh...

- To be fai-uh...
- To be fai-uh...

- To be fai-uh...
- To be fai-uh...

He is essentially drinking
a bottle of piss right now.

Now, you're no mixologist
but your best bet here

is to mix 'em all together into
what you call "donkey juice".

However, to be fai-uh,

donkey juice will make you spit.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Subtitle by peritta

Well, can't win 'em all.

(SIGHS) Uncle Eddie d*ed.

- Did he?
- Dum-diddy-do.

Well, you can't win 'em all.

Mr. Letterkenny himself.

Longest-standing mayor in
the history of Letterkenny.

And you know that snowbird enjoyed

the homestretch in Fort Lauderdale.

Oh, yeah, just hanging out
down there playing crokinole

and shuffleboard with his good pals.

- He was a good guy.
- He was a real good guy.

He left us a bunch of money.

- Did he?
- Dum-diddy-do.

- How much?
- Five K.

What a great f*cking guy.

He was a real great f*cking guy.

Well, he'd want us to have a party.

He wants us to put it
back into the community.

(SCOFFS) What a great f*cking guy!

He says in his will that
he's fallen out of touch

with the community and
he trusts our judgment

to give five K some legs around here.

Well, sure as God's got sandals.

So, how do you want to f*ck this pig?

Well, you'd better put it
on your f*cking Facebook.

Pitter-Patter.

Let's get at 'er.

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

(INAUDIBLE)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Faster than sh*t through a goose.

Lickety-split.

BONNIE: You've entered the barn,

where ideas come to blossom
or be ridiculed relentlessly.

On one side, two no-nonsense farmers

are looking to give
away their uncle's money.

On the other, savvy entrepreneurs

hoping to acquire it.

First up, three degens from Letterkenny

are hoping to sell the
farmers on their solution

for a common small-town problem.

Hi, Bonnie.

Hi, Katy. Hi, Wayne.

- How are ya now?
- Good and you?

Not so bad.

Say, thanks for the, uh...

Well, the thing you did there.

No problem, Wayne.

Any time.

(STEWART CLEARING THROAT)

Good afternoon, hicks.
We are asking for...

Is it true that you have a massive horn?

- Yes.
- No.

- No?
- (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

I mean, there's no way that
they could possibly know that.

I saw Stewart's penis at the
Elmira pool on my th birthday.

Looked like a -ounce cut of
pork tenderloin hanging there.

Erroneous.

I saw Stewart's penis
when we touched tubes,

as normal, inquisitive, young boys do,

and it looked six pool balls

were stuck inside a
gym sock, hanging there.

Unverified.

- Told ya.
- f*ck!

We are asking for five K

for . % of our company.

Outstanding.

We want to give back to the community

by helping people get sober.

Uncle Eddie got sober

as a birthday present
to himself on his th.

Which was curious, 'cause
he'd come that far, right?

- I should say.
- And we plan on doing this

by getting the biggest
disasters in Letterkenny,

and putting them in a room with cameras.

From there,

we film their friends and family

telling them they must halt
said disastery, posthaste!

Is disastery a word?

It's a band name.

Quantifiable.

Want to know what? It
feels like I might have

seen something like this
on a TV show one time.

We've arranged a demo
of how this might work.

We have?

"Stewart,

"you are such a disastery that sometimes

"you don't even know if it's
a weekday or the weekend.

"It hurts me to see you
being such a disaster.

"I wish you could go back to being

"only a mild disaster.

"Love, Devon."

This antic was not
discussed or rehearsed.

"Stewart,

"I worry that your
disastery is the result

"of when we touched tubes as young boys.

"I think about touching
tubes with you and sometimes

"wish I could go back in time

and not touch tubes.

"Perhaps had we not touched tubes,

"you wouldn't be such a disaster.

"Love, Roald."

(AWKWARD CHUCKLING)

Drollery was to be left
on the cutting-room floor.

Anywho...

Your idea comes from a good place, but

Uncle Eddie always believed that

if a man needs help, he'll ask.

He won't be told.

And for that reason,

I'm out.

Sounds like touching tubes

was a pretty big setback for Stewart,

but your pitch was the real disaster.

I'm out.

So, do we win?

No.

No.

BONNIE: Up next in the barn,

these winners of the genetic lottery

with no more than an ounce
of gray matter between them,

hope the farmers get behind their plan

for young people in Letterkenny.

So, are you just going to do
that every time, then, Bonnie?

Well, if you want me to, Wayne.

Yes, please.

- You got it, Wayne.
- Thank you.

Good afternoon, Wayne,

and she-we-do-not-speak-of.

Oh, piss off.

You both took down your
team's student trainer

on her kinesiology co-op.

- How'd she find out about...
- Shh!

There's hope for you yet, boys.

(CLEARS THROAT)

We are here asking for

five K for % of our company.

KATY: Super.

REILLY: We want to give
back to the community

by investing in the youth, boys.

Really hustle for the youth, boys.

Uncle Eddie loved kids.

His only shortcoming, really.

We want to take the
toughest youth in Letterkenny

and put them into a house together,

with a gym and with a pool.

There, they'll work out together

while receiving
instructions from coaches,

Joint Boy and Tyson.

They will then fight
each other one by one

to find out who is, in fact,

the toughest kid in Letterkenny.

This concept sounds a bit familiar.

No, it's a fresh concept, Ferda.

Ferda fresh.

Well, I'm trying to
wrap my head around this,

so I've got a few questions, here.

So, you want to put a bunch
of dudes in a house together?

Yes. They'll be wearing only gym shorts,

as you can see in the poster.

And then you'll have all
these dudes work out together?

Yes, and they'll always be shirtless

- 'cause there's no AC.
- It's hot.

Then when all these dudes
are done working out together,

they can go swimming together?

Oh, we'll teach them
how to wrestle, too.

Hold downs, full mount, top control.

Throw some booze in the house.
They can have a drink together.

What are you really trying
to accomplish here, boys?

KATY: Great presentation.

I really love the bulletin
board with all the sweaty dudes.

You can just leave that here.

But I don't think that
Uncle Eddie would say,

"Katy, great investment
in sweaty dudes."

And for that reason,

- I'm out.
- You want to know what?

I'm just going to come
right out and say it,

and you can take that
bulletin board with you,

please and thanks.

This idea's a tad fruity-loops.

And for that reason,

oh, I'm out.

What?

BONNIE: Up next in the barn,

this bartender turned dog-breeder

hopes Cupid will find
his way to Letterkenny.

Say, Bonnie, could I get you anything?

A glass of water, or...

I'm okay, Wayne. Thanks, though.

Well, if you change your mind,

you can just run to the
house there, help yourself.

Maybe I will run over then.

Can I get you anything?

Well, no, I'm okay.

Do you want anything from the...

Hmm...

Wet your whistle.

No, I'm good. I got some water.

Okay. No, we're okay. Thank you, Bonnie.

Cool, Wayne.

Good afternoon,

Wayne, Katy.

WAYNE: Gail, how are you now?

- Good, and you?
- Well, not so bad.

I'm asking for five K
for % of my company.

Why ?

Both sides benefit.

Good enough.

I want to give back to the community

by helping people find love.

Uncle Eddie was a notorious matchmaker.

And a real f*cking legend on the D floor

- right up till the bitter end.
- Yeah.

GAIL: And I plan on doing that

by putting women from Letterkenny

into a house with you,

and having 'em all compete
for your hand in marriage.

- Who, me?
- Yeah.

- Well, get after it.
- Isn't this already a reality series?

If it is, no one watches it.

Well, I'd f*cking watch it, boy howdy.

I'll have the girls perform campy tasks

and complete silly challenges
to prove their mettle.

Well, that sounds fun.

Unnecessary, but go on.

Then you'd go on group dates with them

and one-on-one dates with them.

And then you a* them one by one

until you decide

which one you want to marry.

- Okay.
- I'm not sure it's reasonable

that he could choose a
wife based just on that.

I know.

Tastes good,

but where's the cream filling?

Like a Boston cream?

Canadian maple's better.

Well, that's a Texas-sized - .

Here's the kicker.

When it gets down to the
final three girls, deal is,

you get to go to their houses
and meet their families.

See? Now that's reasonable.

And then you get to spend
a night with each of them,

until you decide which
one you want to marry.

Is that... Does she...

- With all three?
- Does she mean...

After the...

WAYNE: Well, maybe it means
that I would have to...

I don't want to talk
about it, just ask her.

Okay, I'll ask her.
You want to know what?

- I got some f*cking questions here.
- Sha-boink!

Now, when you say I spend
the night with three of them,

is it implied I have sex
with all three of them?

- Sure is.
- So, I meet their families.

Then we go have sex.

I do that with three of them,
before deciding which one

- I want to marry?
- Yeah.

And do the girls know
going into the process

that I will be having sex
with them and two other girls

before deciding which
one I want to marry?

Yeah. Maybe more.

And do the girls'
families, who I've just met,

also know, going into the process,

that I will be having
sex with their daughters,

as well as two other girls
who are not their daughters,

before deciding which
one I want to marry?

- Yeah.
- And the girls, and their families,

find this process entirely rational,

despite how self-harming,

health-hazardous, and humiliating

- it very likely will be?
- Yeah.

And do you say
girls, and their families

will happily sign up for this process?

Over and over, I imagine.

Oh, Gail, I don't want
to date a girl like that,

for f*ck's sake.

Comes from a family like that. f*ck...

Gail, could there be a female version

where there's one girl and dudes?

- Yeah.
- I'm in.

No!

Ew!

You're out.

And do you want to know what?

- What?
- I'm out.

Okay.

BONNIE: Up next in the barn,

this husband and wife
pair from RR Letterkenny

wants to go hunting for buried treasure.

Bonnie!

Bonnie!

- Did ya feed the dog?
- Yes!

Oh, well, thank you.

Jim Dickins, how are you now?

- Good, and you?
- Oh, not so bad.

- McMurray, how are...
- Wayne, how are...

- Well, good...
- Well, I'm good and...

- I'm not so...
- Oh, not so... Uh...

- Not so bad...
- Go ahead.

- You, you were first so...
- No, why don't you go ahead?

Oh, I didn't want to be impolite.

- Just start talking, please, McMurray.
- So you can go ahead and start...

If you're going to go first,
then it would be your turn...

Just pretend what I had
to say wasn't important.

You're here to pitch, are you not?

Are you sure you don't
want to say anything?

Jesus, Pitter-Patter, McMurray!

Good enough. Have at 'er. Yip, yip, yip.

Now, we are asking

for five K for % of our business.

- KATY: Okay.
- We want to give back to the community

by helping them cocksuckers get rich.

Uncle Eddie used to buy lottery tickets

for the seniors at the home every week.

MRS. MCMURRAY: And we
want to g*dd*mn do that

by auctioning off other people's sh*t.

Bingo.

Did you know

that there are storage facilities

surrounding Letterkenny

that are filled with
other people's useless

piles of their sh*t, that
they have forgotten about?

Abandoned it, baby.

- They abandoned their sh*t...
- Abandoned their sh*t.

Now, whose knob do I got to polish

to get a cocksucking gin
and tonic around here?

All right. We have secured
the auctioneering right

for these such storage facilities

with the help of our
friend, Jimmy Dickskin.

- Dickins.
- That's exactly what I said.

So, what we want to do is we
want to take people down there

and have them rummage
through all the sh*t

and then buy some of the stuff

and probably, more than likely,

most definitely, find hidden
treasures, gold and jewels.

And I'd settle for a Tom Collins,
if it'll get this rig rolling.

So, you want to sell other people's sh*t

that they left in their storage locker.

- Abandoned.
- Abandoned.

- Things that they abandoned.
- But it's a storage locker

and nobody's got any good sh*t in there.

(CHUCKLES)

You would be surprised.

I'm never surprised.

Well, you will be once we
show you a demonstration

of one such storage locker
that we have brought down

from the tiny town of Tiverton.

Baby, if you will.

Shall I call you Vanna,
for a little role-play?

(LAUGHING)

Uh-huh, baby, you know what I mean?

All right, and a one, and a two,

- and a three, Jimmy Dickskin!
- Got a beautiful set of DVDs.

- To start the bidding...
- DVDs galore, look at that...

- (AUCTION CHANTING)
- One, two, three, four, five.

That's $ guaranteed
for sure for DVDs alone.

Then we got a VCR. That's a vintage VCR.

Guaranteed $ for that
sweet piece of machinery

right then and there.
Maybe , maybe .

No big problem. What
else have we got, baby?

Fishing lures. What
man doesn't want 'em?

What man doesn't need
'em? What man doesn't throw

fishing lures all
over the g*dd*mn place?

Hundreds by the thousands.
Five dollars a fishing lure

guaranteeing it for f*cking sure.

So, you got five, probably times ,

probably $ , right there,
sitting alone in that box.

That microwave was probably
touched by Mahatma Gandhi.

Easy! Maybe even Jesus.

The proper thing, I
guarantee ya, is worth

$ , , no problem.

A bit generous on your
evaluations there, bud.

All right, , might be too much,

but maybe , . What
have we got now, baby?

Looks like we got a handyman
storage locker, baby.

- McMURRAY: Handyman storage.
- (CHANTING CONTINUES)

We got corn silk white.

We got lavender brush white paint.

- We got...
- (WHISPERS) Mint.

Mint cream white paint!

You can cream all over the place!

All over your ceilings!

You can do them! Come in here

and buy all of that paint
and paint your apartment

and give you $ cash in your hands.

Ya hear me? What else we got, baby?

And now we're talking big
money. We got the bits.

We got bits.

Bits coming out of the ass.

Twist bits, drill
bits, f*cking Brad bits.

All over the place.
Baby's putting them in...

Gonna have so many bits,
you can put 'em in your tits.

You can put in your mouth,
you can shake 'em all around,

do a little dance,
and all kinds of sh*t.

Bits all over the place.
You can have so many,

you can lick 'em, suck 'em,
kick 'em f*cking right in...

Not for me, though, but somebody else

who's into that kind of sh*t.

Each one is guaranteed
to be at least $ .

No problem there, for
sure. $ each bit!

- No, they're not.
- Sure God damn are!

No, they're not.

- Jimmy Dickskin!
- Dickins!

I know it's Dickins,
and I meant no offense.

I was just trying to
get you to stop the...

Well, the thing you're doing.

No one keeps sh*t in
their storage locker

that you can rich off of.

Only sh*t like Brad point bits, really.

- Yep, see.
- Uncle Eddie would have wanted

me to take this idea and
put it in a storage locker,

then abandon it.

I'm out!

You want to know what? Whoever
called it the Brad point bit

would have done themselves a favor

by calling it the Brad Pitt bit.

But either way

I'm out.

That's marketing genius
right there, Wayne,

but you snooze, you lose, buggers.

You're looking at three millionaires
walking away from ya in the dust.

Have a good day! On the morrow!

BONNIE: Up next in the barn,
this southern evangelist

turned Letterkenny youth worker
brings the sound of music.

Bonnie, where'd you get your dress?

I don't know. It was
a Christmas present.

Can you find out?

I think so.

- It's so cute.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

Do you like it, Wayne?

Glen, how're you now?

- Oh, good and you?
- Not so bad.

Well, I want your five K.

For what percent?

Uh, at %. That's the Lord's percentage.

- Oh, is that what it is?
- Yes.

Now, what I would like to do,

is to give back to the community

by spreading the word of Christ...

- Okay
- ... through song!

- Uncle Eddie was an atheist.
- Well...

Then he couldn't have been a Boy Scout

because atheism violates our pledge.

- You're a Boy Scout?
- Uh, yeah.

Fastest Boy Scout to
ever earn his badges

in basketing and bugle-Ry.

Hey, ya ever had a Frozen Girl Scout?

Yes! But with three
scoops of chocolate gelato

instead of ice cream.

I'm proudly lactose intolerant.

So am I, but you can power
through that if you really want to.

Wayne!

I'd like to introduce you

to Milo, Levi,

and Finn.

Those sound like stage names.

Oh, they are. Their
actual names are Kennedy,

Cullen, Campbell.

- Those sound like last names.
- They are.

Now I would like to take
these boys to Los Angeles

to audition for a little
show you might have heard of,

called America's Got Talent.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

Why can't you just bring
'em to the local model search

and talent show that's
coming to town soon?

Well, I would prefer
to bring them directly

to the epicenter of everything.

Make 'em super-famous

and then inspire loads of other boys,

all over Letterkenny, to sing.

- What do ya sing?
- Oh, we sing Enya.

We sing Enya-thing.

It's a choir joke.

Anywho, I'm their choirmaster

but I consider myself to be more of a...

A player-coach in the equationatto.

Because, I mean, frankly,

who wants a trio when
you can have a quartet?

- Tick-tock.
- Okay, boys.

Ragazzo!

Grazioso.

Espressivo.

Energetico.

Grandioso!

Finn?

(MELODIC VOCALIZING)

♪ I need you to praise him ♪

- ♪ I want you to praise him ♪
- Finn, find me

♪ I need you to praise him ♪

- ♪ I don't know ♪
- Where you are, Finn

♪ But you're not with me ♪

♪ Praise him I need
you to praise him... ♪

- That'll do, Glen.
- No, wait. You know what?

Sometimes it helps if I
dance. It helps my glissando.

♪ I need you to praise him ♪

♪ I want you to praise him... ♪

- WAYNE: Glen!
- ♪ I'll praise him... ♪

It's the crescendo. Just
wait for the crescendo.

♪ Praise, praise,
praise praise him ♪

(EXHALES)

Well, there was supposed to be

an intermezzo,

but Milo keeps forcing his falsetto

and not accepting the
fact that he is a castrato.

- Okay...
- And Levi

thinks this is madrigals,

and will not allow me my obbligato.

- Uh-huh?
- And then there's Finn.

This is not f*cking Glee.

Now the soul of the piece
is obviously in my ostinato,

in my "praise him."

By the time we get to Los Angeles

the piece will begin with a sonatina,

it will be accompanied by a partita.

It will then accelerando
into a capriccio.

I will play my third
role in the equationatto

as the contralto of the quartet-o.

So?

Some people prefer a trio.

I am one of those people.

- And for that reason, I'm out.
- (SIGHS)

Say, when is Los Angeles?

- It's next weekend!
- Holy f*ck.

What?

Oh, f*ck, bud.

- What?
- I'm out.

Up next, two barn favorites have a plan.

- Hi, Bonnie.
- Hi, Daryl.

DAN: Hi, Bonnie!

Hi, Dan.

- How are you now?
- Good, and you?

- Not so bad.
- Taking a piss?

Just a f*cking pisser, yeah.

Okay.

I yacked from donkey juice.

- Oh, did ya have a spit?
- You meat-sauced.

I was up all night, pretty
near spitting everywhere.

That's pretty near the
whole point of donkey juice.

Like, you know you're
gonna have to spit.

- Had to call Earl.
- I called Huey, too.

Yeah, I solds the Buick.

- Oh, did you all toss a sidewalk pizza?
- Yep.

- Yep.
- Yep.

Well, that's pretty near
the point of donkey juice.

Like, you know you'll have a spit.

We are asking for five K

for % of our business.

f*cking serious?

Oh, we sees everyone else doing it,

figured we'd toss our hats in the ring.

You can borrow some
money if you want to.

No, we've got enough to get by, thanks.

Well, we wants to give
back to the community

by getting jobs for peoples.

Well, Uncle Eddie used to always say...

BOTH: "An idle mind is
the devil's playground."

- - , good buddy.
- Over and out.

So Dary and me been
making these duck calls

and we wants to open up a factory

to manufacture these duck calls.

Well, see now that is
a great, original idea.

And, uh, see Dan has a beard

and I'll grow a beard,
and then the only people

that we'd have working in the factory,

would also have beards.

And that would contribute to
our original and unique brand.

Unique and original.

Yeah. And when we're
not making duck calls

to contribute to our unique brand,

we'd, uh, sh**t g*ns

- and blows up beaver dams.
- Oh.

Will the beavers be out of the dams

before you blow them up?

That's unclear.

But a dam's got to get blowed up.

I'm surprised we're not blowing
up beaver dams right now.

This is a choice idea, boys.

And one that definitely no
one has ever attempted before.

- I think I'm in.
- What could go wrong?

And after we grows our brand

and got a followings,

we could use our influences to

condemn h*m*.

Oh.

No, no, 'cause... It's okay because,

you know, once we've created our brand,

and then condemned the h*m*,

we'll just like go
home with our families

to eat supper and then
hold hands and pray.

Well, see now, that's a wee bit

of a curve ball, super-chieftains.

What do you have against h*m*?

Me? Nothing.

LQBT is all rights with me.

- Daryl?
- Yeah.

- Nothing.
- So, shy do you want to condemn them?

Yeah?

We... We seens it on a TV shows.

- We know.
- We know.

We actually seens it on two TV shows.

One was the TV show,

what we seens it on,

and then the other was
a news program about

what we seens on the TV shows.

BOTH: We know.

But those guys got real popular

and they looked like they
was having lots of fun

so we just figured if
we dids what they dids...

We could have lots of fun, too.

Well, do you still want
to blow up beaver dams?

Oh, can we still blows
up the beaver dams?

Oh, yeah, I kind of thought

this whole conversation was
about us blowing up beaver dams.

I'm surprised you're not
blowing up beaver dams right now.

This idea has lawsuit
written all over it.

This is the worst pitch we've seen.

Ever.

And for that reason,

I'm out.

You want to know what, Dary?
You can't even grow a beard.

- Can too.
- Cannot.

- Can too.
- Cannot.

- Can too!
- Cannot! Figure it out!

(SCREAMING) No, can too!

No, you can't. And for that reason,

I'm out.

But...

Well,

what are you guys doing now?

Me? Nothing.

Do ya want to get hammered?

- Yeah, I'd get hammered.
- Yeah.

I think we're out of beer, though.

Beer store's closed.

ALL: (WHINING) No!

f*ck, do I miss MoDean's.

Well, reason f*cking
five million we need

some sort of bar in this town.

What did you say when I told
you that Uncle Eddie d*ed?

- I say he's a good guy.
- The other thing?

- I say he's a real good guy.
- The other thing?

(GASPS)

BOTH: He'd want us to have a party!

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTING)

(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)

Bonnie, thank you for your help today.

You're welcome, Wayne.

Save me a dance at the next jamboree?

Can do.

Hey!

We all know Uncle Eddie
was a real good guy.

- (MURMURING IN AGREEMENT)
- Oh, he was a great guy!

- He was a really good guy!
- A real good guy.

- He was a really good guy.
- Nice guy.

Here's to Uncle Eddie.

And here's to his five K
put back into the community

in the most appropriate way possible.

ALL: Hear, hear!

Whoo.

This is definitely
what he wanted, brother.

- Did he?
- Dum-diddy-do.

(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)

(ROCK MUSIC STOPS)

- WAYNE: We're out of beer.
- KATY: $ , worth?

- WAYNE: Correct.
- KATY: Beer store's closed.

ALL: (WHINING) No!

(MUSIC RESUMES)