You were trying to figure out
WTF.
with your BFFs
the other day...
-You guys ever sexted?
-No
All the times.
-Do you really?
-Daily.
I'm a bit surprised at you,
Squirrely Dan.
It's all above water,
I assure's you.
I'm on a telephone application's
called Bumble.
It's kind of like Tinder
except only the women's
can initiate conversations.
So, what, they just message you
up on your telephone
to sex talk?
Sex text. Correct.
Terrific.
I think I've been sexting
with a gal, but not too sure.
Well, what did she sext ya?
LOL.
What did you sext her
directly before that?
Well, I asked her if
she wanted to go on a date.
That's not sexting.
-Sure's it is.
-No, it isn't.
Dary asked a gal
to go on the date
and she texted back LOL's.
Yes, so it appears as though
that's what went down,
Squirrely Dan.
Well, that means,
"Lots of love".
-No it doesn't.
-Sure's it does.
No it doesn't. LOL means,
"Laughing out loud".
So?
So one of two things,
super chief.
Number A, she thinks
the very thought
of going
on a date with you is laughable.
Or number B, the fact that
you'd think
she'd want to go
on a date with you is laughable.
Either way you're hooped.
So?
So she's laughing at you, bud.
So it's...not sexting?
Figure it out.
Maybe she meant, "Lots of load".
You wanna know what?
That's the problem
with sexting
and texting
or technology in general.
The world needs less Facebook
and more face-to-face.
More than a bit
f*ckin' embarrassing,
we're all sitting around here
trying decipher what
three letters might mean.
I'm sensing a bit
of hostility here, big sh**t.
Wanna know how my Uncle Ed
met my Aunt Mary?
Walked right up to her,
like a sock hop.
Told her
he thought she was pretty.
Uncle Eddie's was a legend.
Aunt Marian, too.
Then he asked her if she
wanted to dance with him.
Like, if she wanted to twist.
I bet you he swing-danced her.
(SNICKERING)
Before he ballroomed 'er.
And she walks over to her
gal pals and they're all saying,
"How about the balls
on this sailor.
Walks right up to a pretty girl
like you asking for a twist."
Of course they're all
green with envy
because no one's
asked them to twist.
That sounds like
Uncle Eddie's all right.
Yeah, sounds like par for
the course for Uncle Eddie.
Don't you think it ends there.
It doesn't.
Guess who walks into the
sock hop like he owns the place?
Elvis Presley.
King of rock 'n' roll.
Walks right up to Aunt Mary
and says he ain't nothin'
but a hound dog.
Oh. Tight spot
for Uncle Eddie's.
What did Uncle Eddie do?
Uncle Eddie? Walks right over
to the King of Rock 'n' Roll
and puts him on his ass.
-Wow.
-Uncle Eddie.
Next thing you know, in walks
the Rat Pack
with Chuck Berry
and the Beach Boys
who hadn't broken yet but were
making a name for themselves
as California street toughs.
Guess what...
all good buddies with Elvis.
-No.
-He's a goner. Gotta be.
Think again.
Uncle Eddie gets a tap
on his shoulder,
a voice says to him he says,
"Hey, kid. Need a hand?"
Guess who?
You ever heard of Johnny Cash?
Well, now
you're spinning's a yarn.
The Man In Black himself?
You better believe
it's the Man In Black.
He's with his good pals
John Wayne and James Brown
who don't take sh*t off anybody.
Everybody knows that.
You gonna throw hands
at James Brown,
I'm sorry you're a goner.
Everybody knows that.
But they're still outnumbered.
So guess who shimmies over
in a real bad mood?
Who?
Little Richard. Gotta be.
Hey, you better f*ckin' believe
it's Little Richard.
He's with his good pal
Bing Crosby.
That's Pre-White Christmas
when he was still on
the bottle and a nasty drunk.
So you know it's on now.
Number one selling albums
of all-times, White Christmas.
Uh, that's
Pre -White Christmas. Look out.
So f*ckin' Buddy Holly
walks over
and Bertuzzi's
Uncle Eddie, right?
Next thing you know,
Ray Charles has got
Buddy Holly in a rear naked.
Buddy Holly's tappin',
Ray Charles says,
"No way.
It's not how this ends."
Cash is over there
arm-barring Sinatra.
Sammy Davis Jr. switched sides
halfway through the fight,
he's got Dean Martin
in an Omoplata.
Well, where's Uncle Eddie?
Well, what's he gonna do?
He's gotta do something.
Uncle Eddie's
freshly transitioned
from a triangle choke
in favor of a full mount.
He's got Brian Wilson down
ready to serve the final blow
and someone catches his fist.
Guess who?
Johnny Cash.
Says, "Hey, kid.
We got this from here.
Go get your girl."
Uncle Eddie gets up,
John Wayne gives him
a tap on the butt
like they're old
locker room pals.
Well,
what's Aunt Marion's doing?
Did he go over to her?
Tell you what.
She went to him, okay.
He scoops her up in his arms,
fireman carries her out of there
to applause
from the sock hoppers
who clear a path for them.
Takes her for
a f*ckin' milkshake.
Like a real man.
-Wow.
-Uncle Eddie.
So next time you're
thinking about texting a girl
to ask her out on a date,
I want you to stop and think.
About what?
About the glory
you're leaving on the table.
(PHONE BUZZING)
Hey, it's her.
Well, what she says?
(READING) New phone. Who this?
LOL.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
And that's why I never drink
out of Gino Reda's mug again.
These sheets are just jibber...
Oh, hi.
Welcome to Sports Centre.
I'm Dan, he's Jay.
Hello, Dan.
A homegrown feel-good story
to round out the program.
Local hockey stars
Hudson and James Bay
return from a stint in Europe
to Letterkenny, Ontario...
to help their dad do hay.
Now what's not to like
about that?
Oh, boy.
-Toolesy?
-Yeah.
Letterkenny, Ontario.
-Problem, Toolesy?
-No. No problem.
Letterkenny, Ontario.
Home of local hockey stars
Hudson and James Bay.
Yeah. Yeah. You ever been
to Letterkenny, Jay?
I've not had the pleasure, no.
As you're aware by now,
I'm from Peterborough, Ontario.
-Yes, I'm aware.
-Okay.
You're familiar
with brawls in hockey.
Yes, I'm familiar.
Yeah,
they happen all the time.
How about brawls in curling?
That's a new one!
Okay, that's what happened when
Letterkenny's curling team
came to Peterborough.
-A curling brawl?
-Yeah.
A brawl at a curling match.
You ever heard of
a cribbage brawl?
More new territory...
Yeah,
that's what happened routinely
when members
of the Letterkenny Legion
came and played
cribbage tournaments
against members
of the Peterborough Legion.
A cribbage brawl?
Yeah. A brawl
at a cribbage tournament.
Toolesy...
You think I'm making
this crap up?
So what are you
sayin' here, Toolesy?
Okay, just if I were Hudson
and James Bay...
Home to do hay.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd be staying in Europe.
Are you ready for this
old goat to make your day?
Okay.
Guess who's coming
to visit us this weekend?
-No way.
-Way.
-No way. For hay?
-For hay.
-No way.
-All the way.
-Who did they say?
-Well, they didn't, did they?
Well, not yet anyway.
So go ahead and say.
James and Hudson.
-Bay?
-Bay.
James and Hudson Bay.
-No way.
-Way.
-Home to stay?
-Just for hay.
You don't say.
Well, you know, a little bit
of work,
-little bit of play.
-Hooray.
James and Hudson Bay.
Hicks all the way.
ALL: All the way.
Oh, look. There's a stray.
Those guys are LOL.
Legends of Letterkenny.
Good workers, too.
Well, they're great workers.
They put away bales
with the best of them.
Faster than a fox over a fence.
James and Hudson Bay.
You wanna know what?
The brothers Bay home for hay
is a chance for all of us
to come together
and show 'em we're proud
in our own special way.
So, stick with tradition?
Well, you don't
f*ck with tradition.
Puppers and a pig roast
for the brothers Bay.
Puppers and a pig.
All right well, I'm gonna go
talk to Tanis about the pig.
You get them
cheapest on the Rez.
Okay, Katy. Okay.
Okay, Dary. Okay.
Okay, Dan. Okay.
-Okay, stray.
-(CAT MEWING)
But what are we gonna
call the party this year?
-Hay Days.
-No.
-A Bay in the Life.
-We're gettin' warmer.
-Baywatch.
-Almost there.
Wait!
Great day for Bay.
-Yes.
-Yeah.
Yup.
ALL: Great Day for Bay.
Will somebody help me
get that f*ckin' stray?
Oh, sh*t, it's gettin' away.
Come on, yous two,
he just wants to play.
f*ckin' beauties, boys.
Beauties and beasts.
The Brothers Bay.
James and Hudson Bay.
Hockey players all the way.
Bay-ooo-to-ful.
Letterkenny Shamrocks
all-time leaders
in points,
PIMS and plus/minus.
Now they're playing in Europe.
Imagine all the Amserdamsels
in Europe.
Be wheelin' abroad all right.
International ass.
Getting their ass ports stamped.
Oh, they're part of
the European Poonion now, buddy.
Traveling through
Titaly for sure.
Seeing all kind of Vati-cans.
Nice mountains
in Titzerland, too.
Hammerin' all the Croati-ass.
Smashin' all that Romani-ass.
Slam crushin'
all that Albani-ass.
Oh, welcome to Bulge-aria.
Yeah, the Brothers Bay,
hockey players all the way.
All the way.
Droppin' mitts and suckin' tits.
-Titty validity.
-Titty stupidity.
-Home this weekend, buddy.
-Home this weekend, bro.
Gotta do something epic.
How are we going to top All Bay,
All Night from last year?
f*ck! That drew more box
than an architect.
They'll come up with something.
Where there's a will
there's a Bay.
Europe! Europe!
Bay Brothers.
Egotistical egotesticles.
Stewart! They're your family.
-Questionable.
-Undeniable.
Unverifiable.
Stewart, they're your cousins.
There's pictures of you
and the Bays
together as kids
all over your house.
-My mum's house.
-Well, you still live there.
Roald...
Stewart...it is verifiable.
This is not a Bay Pride parade.
Those Baystards never wanted
to hang out with me anyway.
I'm nauseated by their
hokey hockey hickey sh*t.
I do not want to spend more time
down by the Bay.
-Where the watermelons...
-Grow up!
Hi. What's your name?
-Zack.
-Zack.
-Russell Terrier.
-Zack Russell Terrier?
Present.
We're having a Bay-B-Q
this weekend,
'cause the Bay brothers Bay
are coming home.
James and Hudson.
Do you know them?
-We're second cousins.
-Oh.
Their uncle Cal
married my Aunt Sue.
Oh, which one's a Bay?
Aunt Sue was a Bay
before she was a Casa.
So now she's Sue Casa?
Married Calvin Garfield Casa.
Goes by Cal Gary.
You might know their kids,
Sam and Ella.
Salmonella?
Yeah, Sam and Ella
have a half-brother Ty, as well.
Ty Casa.
I said half-brother.
His last name's Food.
Ty Food?
Present.
Jesus.
What's your name?
Katy.
Katy what?
Wait...you know my half brother,
Ash, right?
-Ash who?
-Wednesday.
-Ash Wednesday?
-Mm-Hmm, that's him.
Hangs out with the Books.
-The Books?
-Art and Mac.
-Art Book and Mac Book?
-Yeah.
Know them?
Are you f*cking with me?
No!
Zack Russell Terrier and Ty Food
ain't f*ckin' with you.
What's with the pig?
The brothers Bay
are coming home this weekend,
so Saturday we're going
to Bay Bash. Big Bay-B-Q.
Oh, yeah? What's it called?
Great Day for Bay.
Nice.
Points for Bay Bash as well.
It's too bad, though.
What's too bad?
Well, the Bay Brothers
are coming to the Rez
on Saturday for a party.
They're part native all the way.
But, Great Day for Bay.
Yeah but, we already got
$ , on fireworks.
Thunder Bay. Saturday. Hmm?
Hey, Zack Russell Terrier
and Ty Food are going to come.
Maybe you'll come, too.
-Hey.
-That's barley.
-Okay.
-How are you now?
You should stand down
on Great Day for Bay.
What?
The Bay Brothers are coming
to the Rez for Thunder Bay.
They're part native all the way.
They're full hick all the way.
Plus we already purchased
the pig from your people.
Yeah, but do you's
even know how to cook it?
Throw it on a spit and rotate.
Don't thr*aten me
with a good time.
Okay.
What about when you insert
the thermometer
to check
the temperature inside?
-What about it?
-I don't know. You tell me.
Here's the scoop.
We've already planned the party.
Yeah, but we've already spent
$ , on fireworks.
I don't want to see that
go up in smoke.
-Up?
-(SHRUGGING)
-What?
-Nothing. Go ahead.
Keeping in mind that you once
burnt down the produce stand,
a lot has happened since then.
The Brothers Bay home for hay
is the perfect opportunity
for all of us to come together
and show them we're proud.
So, we would like to invite
you and your friends here
for Great Day for Bay.
Or you can move your party
to the Rez for Thunder Bay.
'Cause the Bay Brothers
are part native...all the way.
They're full hick...
All the way.
So...
You trying to sneak a sunrise
past a rooster, Tanis?
I don't know.
You're the one whose stuck
between a cock and hard place.
You a breast or thigh guy?
-They're full hick.
-Correct.
And only part native.
(SHRUGGING)
Splittin' hairs, but yeah.
-So we host.
-Fair.
But the name...
-Great Day for...
-Uh...
-What?
-What?
-Nothing. You go.
-How's this?
Great Day for Thunder Bay.
Great Day for Thunder Bay!
Puppers, pigs and pyrotechnics.
Puppers, pigs, pyrotechnics
and pepperettes.
Perfect.
-See you there, Wayne or shine.
-Good enough.
There'll be fireworks,
just like old times.
It's been a business doing
pleasure with you, Tanis.
So, what about
that elusive girl of yours?
She gonna show her face
for once?
None of your beeswax.
-People are talkin' you know.
-None of their beeswax.
Doesn't bother you?
Mind your beeswax, Tanis.
Hmm . Later, boo.
We tried to come up
with our own party
for the Bay Brothers, but...
You's are welcome
to come to our party.
Wanna know what?
The Brothers Bay home for hay
is a chance for all of us
to come together
and show 'em we're proud.
Yeah. We know. It was just...
Just that everyone keeps
coming up with cool names
for their Bay parties
and all we could come up with
was Bay There Delilah.
Bay Jude was a runner up.
And honorable mention,
Independence Bay.
Yeah,
Bay the Earth Stood Still
was also a contender.
Shout out to Glory Bays.
But,
credit where credit's due...
Great Day for Bay
cannot be beaten.
So, we'd love to come
to your Bay-B-Q.
We just told you
that you're invited.
f*ck, we just f*ckin' said!
You know what, the Brothers Bay
home for hay
is a chance for all of us
to come together
and show 'em we're proud.
Nice.
We're invited.
-Sick, boys.
-Sick.
How can we help?
Well, I haven't heard
form the Brothers Bay all day
so safe to say
they're behind on hay.
You should head on over.
-Lend us a hand.
-Done.
Just like liftin' hockey bags,
right boys?
On par.
Lift with your legs
not your back, right boys?
Why don't you try both
and see which one
works out betters for ya?
You'll wanna throw on some pants
or else
you carve your legs all up.
Bring some f*ckin' Puppers too.
Pitter patter.
-Not gonna do the pants, man.
-Yeah. Go get beer though.
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
Yes, Stewart you can come
to Great Day for Bay.
-Bay-arf.
-Pardon?
Great day for barf.
So I take it
you won't be coming here then.
Oh, we'll be there.
To laugh
at what losers they are.
(LAUGHING)
Bring some f*ckin' Puppers.
Yeah...
Okay, cool. Bye.
They never wanted
to hang out with me anyway.
Time to make those idiots Bay.
What does that mean?
The expression is,
"make them pay".
I replaced their last name
to be clever.
Oh. Oh yeah, I know.
That's super...super clever.
You try!
Okay. Uh, go ahead, make my Bay!
Satisfactory.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
What's up?
How're you now?
Smokin' darts
and breakin' hearts.
-You bring the fireworks?
-That was the deal wasn't it?
-Can confirm.
-She here?
Have a f*ckin' Puppers.
Hey. You wanna see the pig?
Solid opening.
I checked
and it's my cousin Ed
who knows you.
-Oh, Ed who?
-Ed Monton.
Yeah. Yeah.
He's friends with my buddy Mike.
-Which Mike?
-Check.
For sure.
Ed Monton was Mike Check's
best man at his wedding.
Told you they weren't
f*ckin' with you.
f*ckin' babes, eh?
Great Day
for Thunder Bay, eh boys?
Judging by your arms,
doesn't like it was
that good of a day.
Super great day
for Thunder Bay, boys.
Got an inside look at hick life.
Feels pretty good
to do some hard labor.
-Beats the f*ckin' gym.
-Yeah, gym f*ckin' sucks, boys.
Well, next time you'll know
to wear long sleeves and pants.
Where's the Bays?
Well,
according to their parents...
-George Ian?
-Fanny's?
George Ian Bay and Fanny Bay
said Hudson and James Bay
went into town for a meeting.
A meeting?
Well, according to
George Ian Bay.
Fanny Bay said she couldn't
get a hold of James
or Hudson Bay all afternoon.
You know what, buddy?
I haven't been able to get
a hold of Big City Slams
all afternoon either, buddy.
Hey, you boys seen
those two gym babes?
You know,
the two babes from the gym.
Are they here?
Don't think so boys.
Couldn't get a hold
of those babes all afternoon.
CROWD: It's them. It's them.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Well, Great Day for Thunder Bay,
fellows.
(CHEERING)
-Welcome home.
-Thanks Wayne.
-Welcome home.
-Thanks Wayne.
Brothers Bay home for hay
is a chance for us
to show you guys
how proud we are of you.
Thanks Katy.
You guys made it
all the way to Europe.
Welcome home, Hudson.
Got to tell us all about Europe.
Welcome home, James.
Got to tell us all about Europe.
We will. We will.
In keeping with tradition
as promised, Puppers and pig.
And pyrotechnics this year, too.
Welcome home, pussies.
-Thanks, Tanis.
-Thanks, Tanis.
But say, what were you guys
doin' all day?
BOTH: We had a meeting.
Meeting?
Let's call a bay of pigs.
There's that gym babe.
There's that other gym babe.
More like Guantanamo Bay.
'Cause I didn't know whether
we were gonna get out alive.
Hey, it's Big City Slams.
Felt like I was on
Bays of Our Lives
'cause there were
so many storylines
going on all at once.
Big City Slams , boys.
I don't even know
what Bay it is.
ALL: Angie.
Never thought I'd be
into Bay sex.
Thanks for
the Bay City Roll, boys.
I'll be your Bay-once any day.
Well...
LOL.
(EVERYBODY LAUGHING)
Is Stewart here?
-Hudson?
-Stewart.
-James.
-Stewart.
Can we finally hang out?
Hang out?
Let's have a f*ckin' Puppers.
I'd love a f*cking Puppers.
I just always figured
you didn't want to.
You know, the whole
hicks versus skids thing.
They're hockey players
all the way, boys.
Part native
all the way, too, boys
-We're family.
-All the way.
You guys do rips?
BOTH: Hard no.
-But do you rip Chel?
-'Cause we will rip Chel...
-Oh, Stewart.
-g*dd*mn right I rip Chel.
-You guys got rips?
-We got rips.
They'll do rips.
-No rips.
-But we'll rip Chel, boys.
Are you boys talking about what
I think you're talking about?
-What if we are?
-I'm calling the cops.
ALL: No...
Just kidding. Do some rips.
We're gonna need more rips.
-I got rips.
-Then it's on. Chel.
You god damn right, it's on.
-Chel.
-In rips.
-Chel.
-In rips!
(ALL CHANTING)
Chel. In rips!
Chel. In rips!
Chel. In rips!
(CHEERING)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Hats off to Tanis, boys.
She's certainly a great day
for Thunder Bay.
Tanis has out done's herself.
04x06 - A Great Day For Thunder Bay
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Comedy series showcases the antics of the residents of Letterkenny, a small rural community in Canada.
Comedy series showcases the antics of the residents of Letterkenny, a small rural community in Canada.