10x17 - Mrs. Wharton and the Lesser Breeds

[bunniefuu]

Candy.

May I have my lunch now?

Candy.

My lunch, please.

Yeah, sure.

- Thank you.
- I sure could do with a bite.

Offer it to the gentlemen,
Candy, then you may help yourself.

Thank you, ma'am.

- You work for the lady, huh?
- Yeah.

Don't touch the chicken leg.

How about you, Mister?

Whoa!

- Whoa!
- Get your head back in.

What's going on?

Some sort of a robbery.

Everybody out! Come on,
get out of there! Come on!

Leave that here, on the floor.

Move it. Keep 'em up.
Keep 'em up. Over there.

- Over there. Get going.
- Okay. Hurry up, folks.

- Come on!
- We ain't got all day.

Keep 'em up. Over
there. Get those hands up.

Throw down that strongbox.

Go search the lady.

The bag has nothing of value.

You can't have those.

Do tell.

Be satisfied with my
money. Candy, stop him.

- Stand right where you are.
- I am.

Okay. Let's move out.

I'm not at all satisfied
with your behavior.

Yeah, sometimes I'm not
too thrilled with it myself.

When you're in my employ, I
expect both courage and loyalty.

Well, getting myself k*lled
comes higher than 75 cents a day.

Recovering my jewels is going
to be no end of trouble, I imagine.

- Mm-hm.
- Nevertheless, it must be done.

Hey, Pa, Candy's back!

- Candy.
- Mr. Cartwright.

I, uh, want you to
meet Mrs. Wharton.

- How do you do, Mr. Cartwright?
- Mrs. Wharton. Pleasure.

They got robbed on the
stagecoach not 15 miles from here.

- No.
- Cleaned us out.

That's terrible news.

I... I had the stage drop
us off at the Vernon's.

We borrowed a rig. I ran into
Joe and Hoss on the way in.

I figured... you could
put Mrs. Wharton up here.

Well, of course. Come in. Sit
down, Mrs. Wharton, please.

- That's very kind of you,
Mr. Cartwright, - Make yourself at home.

But Candy practically
dragged me here.

I must get into Virginia
City to notify the authorities.

I keep telling you, the
stage driver will do that.

- Is there a British consul hereabouts?
- A British... No.

An Army unit?

Really, now, you're much better off here
tonight. Just make yourself comfortable.

There's nothing you can do
until daylight anyway. Joseph,

Hoss, why don't you take Mrs.
Wharton's bags up to the guestroom.

- All right, Pa.
- This is your home, Candy?

Yeah.

You led me to believe
you were a servant.

No, ma'am, it was
you that told me I was.

Perhaps I did. Do you think
I might have a cup of tea?

- Yes, ma'am, we'll fix it right up.
- Oh, and do lace it with a tot of rum,

- won't you?
- Yes, ma'am.

That's... that's quite a lady
there. Where'd you meet her?

- Mm. That's a long story.
- Oh?

First of all, I finished
the job you sent me to do.

- Mm-hm.
- There's the contract,

- signed and sealed.
- Good.

Now... the lady. Hm?

Well, when I finished the job, I decided
to take a look around San Francisco.

- I met her on the Barbary Coast.
- Did you?

Well, I can understand why you might
have been there, but what about her?

Yeah, well, she was there
to find a steamer office.

- Oh.
- So I took her over.

She called me her good man, said
that virtue should not go unrewarded

and offered me a job. My
fare back to Virginia City

and six bits a day to fetch and
carry. Seemed like a good deal.

Yeah, sure. Where's she going?

- Around the world.
- By herself?

Believe me, Mr. Cartwright,
she doesn't need anybody else.

- Have any trouble?
- None at all.

Now, I hired you as
far as Virginia City.

No. No, Mrs. Wharton, you paid my
way and I was coming this way anyway.

Four days, $3. That
was our arrangement.

Although you are
largely incompetent.

Cows are more my line. I
think Sheriff Coffee's back now.

You want to go check, see
if he has any news for you?

Oh. Excellent.

Very interesting village
you have here, Candy.

Yeah. Pretty, isn't it?

Ah.

English, isn't it?

Ah. Oh.

- What is this?
- It's a branding iron.

Ah, yes.

To identify the livestock.
Barbarous. Cruel.

It's right up the street.

Mrs. Wharton.

Mrs. Wharton!

Ladies don't come in here.

I shouldn't wonder.

It's quite picturesque, though.

Don't gawk. Go
about your business.

Don't gawk.

I'll see your five
and raise you ten.

- What are they playing?
- Draw poker.

What is the object of the game?

Well, they're betting to see
who has the highest cards.

- Knaves, queens, kings?
- That's right.

Then why is he
continuing to wager?

Um, he was what
you call bluffing.

It's one of the finer points.

Could we go outside now?

You, girl.

Come here.

That brooch belongs to me.

- It don't neither.
- Are you sure?

Perfectly. What is your name?

- Laura Mae Mears.
- Mine's Candy.

The initials on the
back are E.C.H.

Elizabeth Catherine
Hewlett. My maiden name.

You've had it no
longer than last night.

It was probably given you
by a man. I want it back.

I don't know nothing about
that. Now, leave me alone.

Miss Mears, I'll
call the sheriff.

It'll be your word against mine.

Which one of you do
you think he'll believe?

I have no doubt you accepted
the brooch in good faith.

I'll give you $10 for it.

I didn't mean no harm. I
mean, I had no way of knowing...

And the name of the
man who gave it to you.

Well, now...

I... I can't say as
I know for sure.

You got that from a stranger?

No.

I don't want no trouble.
Just take it and that's all.

There is a penalty in this
country for receiving stolen goods?

Yep.

We won't tell anybody
where we heard it.

It was last night
over in Millburg.

Billy Buckman.

- Is that where he is now?
- No.

He was talking about
going back to Vallejo.

All right, thanks.

My husband gave me this.

Daniel.

It was a Sunday afternoon.

One of those dismal,
dreary, rainy days.

But he was so anxious to be alone
with me, he dragged me out of doors

and we ran into
the summer house.

I was 16.

He was 18, and so shy.

All he could say was, "Here,
I want you to have this,"

and he shoved it into my hand.

I'm sure he had a much more
flowery speech all planned.

So sweet.

He passed away four years ago.

I'm sorry.

And they have the locket Daniel
gave me for our first anniversary.

The ring my children
gave me for my birthday.

Their pictures,

the miniature
of little Jonathan.

He d*ed at seven,
it's all I have of his.

And there are other things.

Each one means
something, an occasion.

The world's changed, and
the Lord knows I have too.

But these things haven't.

When I see them, each
occasion is very close again.

You're too young for the
past to be important to you.

Yes.

It's what they stole from me.

A hundred pounds would buy the
lot, unless you're a sentimental old fool.

Well, come along, Candy.

Well, Vallejo is about a
half a day's ride from here.

Well, Sheriff Coffee
said he couldn't go there.

- It's out of his jurisdiction, ma'am.
- Well, who has jurisdiction?

The United States Marshal when
he's there, which isn't very often.

And when he isn't there,
that's a wild and wooly place.

Ha! Sounds fascinating.

- Um, Mr. Cartwright?
- Hm?

I got an idea.

You and Joe and Hoss have
to be over the Johnson place

for that roundup, but you
don't need me there, right?

- No.
- Why don't I ride into Vallejo

in the morning, kind of nose
around and see what I can find out.

- I might come up with something.
- That's a good idea.

Mrs. Wharton, I'm terribly sorry we
have to be away at this particular time,

but it can't be helped.
Anyway, it's only two days.

Meanwhile, you make
yourself comfortable here,

- and Hop Sing'll take good care of you.
- Very kind of you, Mr. Cartwright.

And by the time we get
back, Candy should be back,

and we'll figure out
what we'll do then.

- Have a pleasant journey.
- Thank you.

Thank you, ma'am.

All right...

Mrs. Wharton! Wait a minute!

Hi, Candy.

- Good morning.
- Mrs. Wharton.

- How did you find me?
- Hop Sing told me your bed

hadn't been slept in
and the buggy was gone,

so I figured you were
on your way to Vallejo.

- How perceptive.
- What are these two for?

I met them on the road and
engaged them as guides.

They couldn't guide
a dog across a street.

Charley, Al, get
back in your holes.

Aw, come on, Candy.

You men, stay
right where you are.

No easy pickings
today. Get moving.

- Now, see here, sir.
- You heard me, move!

Those men were quite competent
and extremely courteous.

And along around nightfall
they'd cr*ck you over the head,

very courteous,
and pick you clean.

And you are unmannerly
and highhanded.

No need to thank me, ma'am.

- I suppose you want me to turn back?
- Yeah.

Under the circumstances,
that's the only sensible thing to do.

- Fiddlesticks.
- Mrs. Wharton, that town is dangerous

and there's nothing
there worth looking at.

We'll see. In any case,
my mind is quite made up.

Mrs. Wharton, let
me reason with you.

You're gonna barge into Vallejo,
right? What do you intend to do?

Tell them you want your jewelry back
and expect them to roll over and play dead?

I have a plan.

You see, I found myself
in a similar situation

in Wazirabad about
18 months ago.

I gave some backsheesh to a
Pathan mullah, it worked wonders.

I don't think I got more
than about half of that.

Wazirabad is a
town in Afghanistan.

- Very wicked, I might add.
- Wicked.

Mrs. Wharton, this
town, whatever you call it,

it don't hold a
candle to Vallejo.

Half the men in that town'd k*ll
their brothers for 50 cents cash

- or a dollar credit.
- We'll see.

Backsheesh is a bribe.
It works anywhere.

Maybe. The chances are
your stuff's not even in Vallejo,

it's scattered
around most likely.

The only way to
find out is to go there.

I've a good mind to throw a rope
around you and get it over with.

I might remind you that I'm
old enough to be your mother,

and as such am entitled to
a certain freedom of decision.

All right.

I figure I've done just about
everything a reasonable man can do.

I appreciate that.

There's no need for you
to involve yourself further.

All right. All right. All right!

- Good day.
- Good day.

Wait up, Mrs. Wharton!

Wait!

- This money, do you have it on you?
- Uh, yes.

How much?

Slightly in excess of $5,000.

You're a bigger
fool than I thought.

- Sir.
- It's all right.

I'm an even bigger
one. I'm going with you.

I was right.

Vallejo's just
past the next hill.

- Now, I want you to give me that money.
- Whatever for?

Because I want to
hide it under that rock.

- Unless you have an argument.
- No.

The idea has merit.
Turn your back.

I don't know what the record
is for bamboozling a lady,

but if you go into Vallejo
with that much money

- somebody's gonna set a new one.
- Here.

Thank you.

I want you to mark this spot in your
mind just in case something happens to me.

- Well, it's the best in town.
- It will serve.

Marvelous. Marvelous!

Is it some sort of an
occasion or holiday?

No, just another day in
the middle of the week.

- Well!
- Hey, hey!

Mrs. Wharton,
you gotta stay here.

I am not.

Mrs. Wharton I'm gonna
try to get your jewelry back,

but I can't do a thing if you're
gonna worry me to death!

Mrs. Wharton, as a favor,

let me try by
myself first. Please?

Very well.

I'll show you the high spots
and points of interest later.

Don't go out of this room
alone, on any account.

Keep the door locked.

I'll be back as quick as I can.

You stay there!

The man who robbed that bank...

Somebody here named Candy?

- I'm Billy Buckman.
- Howdy. Sit down.

- Where's the girl?
- What girl?

Everywhere I
been, all over town,

people been telling me Candy
wants to see me real bad.

Well, that's me. And I do.

You ain't my idea of no Candy.

I've seen you before.

I bet you have.
As a matter of fact,

I did leave word here
and there around town.

I figured you for quite
a devil with the ladies.

I can't take credit for
that. It's kind of a gift.

I got a proposition for you.

Couple of days ago, some jewelry
was stolen off the San Francisco stage

- for Virginia City.
- Is that a fact?

I've got a buyer for it, if I can find
out where to lay my hands on it.

I don't know anything
about that, mister.

That's too bad. Somebody had
told me you might be able to help me.

- I'll pay $2,500.
- Cash?

On delivery, yeah.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Do we have a deal?

Deal.

Let's go.

Hey, how long you
gonna be in town?

I'd like to wrap it
up before morning.

- Where can I find you?
- At the hotel.

- I don't have that money on me.
- Not that I don't believe you.

Give me the name
of the buyer. That'll do.

- Can't blame me for trying, can you?
- Stick to your gift, boy.

You sure ain't a fighter.

- We still got a deal, don't we?
- Yeah.

But now you got two hours
to scurry yourself around

if you still want that money.

Two hours.

Mrs. Wharton?

Mrs. Wharton!

Oh, no.

Oh, no!

I don't want a drink.

- You're standing there, ain't you?
- Yeah...

Two bits.

Um, has there been
an English lady in here,

about middle-aged, kind
of high-falutin' and bossy?

- In here?
- Yeah. Let me ask you this.

Supposing I was such a lady

and I kind of had a half-wit
notion to bribe somebody

to buy some information
about some stolen property.

- Who would I go see?
- John Carmody, the druggist.

Thanks.

Why, yes, I spoke to Mrs.
Wharton about an hour ago.

Fine woman.

You don't see strength of
character like that much anymore.

Go on, Mr. Carmody.

She wanted my assistance
in getting back some jewelry.

I thought I could put her in
contact with the right party,

so I asked her to wait
in the back room there.

Got ahold of Ed Horn.

They had a little conversation
and went off together a while ago.

- You sold her to him?
- No!

No.

Well, I did charge Ed

a trifle for the information.

But that's only
fair and fitting.

- Where'd they go?
- That's hard to say.

That's all the
easier it's gonna get.

Ed runs with Billy
Buckman and that bunch.

- We're a tolerant community.
- So I've noticed.

But they can get a little
rambunctious and noisy for our taste.

So they got a cabin
out the south of town.

I don't guarantee it,
but they might be there.

That's to keep your mouth
shut about talking to me, okay?

It's a pleasure to do
business with you, sir.

Uh, I'll throw something else
in. Won't cost you a nickel.

Don't get caught
with them after dark.

Thanks.

You ought to stick to fighting.
You don't sneak worth a darn.

Most of the time I do. I
guess I got a lot on my mind.

Do you want to see our place?

Go ahead.

- Found him thrashing around outside.
- What's he want?

Looking for her.

Well, he found her. Tie him up.

Sit down, boy.

Figured I'd find you here.

I believe I owe you an apology.

Yes, ma'am, I believe you do.

Mr. Horn agreed to return
my jewels for $5,000.

I could've gotten
them for half that.

He wanted a thousand in advance.

I went to get it, and
they followed me.

- Hold on to him.
- Yeah.

Now they got the jewels
and the money and you.

- Yes.
- And me.

Just once, sometime,
will you do like you're told?

I know I can be
willful, rather difficult.

- Yes, ma'am.
- Unfortunately, at my age,

I'm not at all likely to change.

Besides, I'm usually right.

Hey, lady.

Let's us get back to business.

Now, what's in the money belt,

it stands to reason you got
a lot more somewheres else.

Do you get my drift?

You're holding me for ransom. I
concluded that over an hour ago.

Well, that's fine.

Now, I expect you're gonna give me
some big hoop-te-doo about the amount.

There'll be no discussion of
money until we talk about my jewels.

- We are gonna talk about money.
- After you return my jewels.

Do you want me to have Billy
boy here carve off one of your ears?

Well, if I were younger,

the prospect of disfigurement
might carry some weight.

Well, now, it
hurts considerable.

A gentleman in the Sudan who
had had first-hand experience

told me the pain is
vastly exaggerated.

Go ahead.

Have you considered
the possibility of shock?

I might not survive and
then you get nothing.

At her age and all,
she might be right, Ed.

This man, he's your chieftain
or leader, whatever you call it?

- Yeah.
- He's not overly intelligent, is he?

Watch your tongue.

You know, we can always
toast his feet on the fire.

It would have to be for your
own enjoyment. He has no money.

I'm not about to lose my
jewels to save his feet.

Don't pay too much
attention to her.

Oh, all right. You can
have the stuff back.

Thank you.

- Now, about the money.
- I want my jewels

- physically here in front of me.
- Sure. Fetch 'em.

The money is in a bank in San
Francisco. How can we get it to you?

Well, you just send a telegram.

Tell 'em you want that much
put in the bank here in Vallejo

and then you just write us a
note that says hand it over.

Well, I didn't know you were
capable of anything more complicated

than waving a g*n
in somebody's face.

Lady, you're beginning
to get me mad.

Wait till you've been
around her for a while.

- Well, are you satisfied now?
- They're all here.

- How much is the ransom?
- Um...

$25,000?

Splendid.

With that amount at your disposal,
you'll probably debauch yourselves

into early graves and
the world will be rid of you.

That's our worry.

I keep these.

- And he goes free as well.
- Oh, sure.

I'll also want the
freedom of this cabin.

Well, anything you want.

What's that?

A note from Candy
written yesterday morning.

"Mrs. Wharton left in
the middle of the night.

- I've gone looking for her."
- Where'd she go?

- How do I know?
- Maybe Virginia City, huh?

Well, this was written yesterday
morning. They'd be back by now.

You know, I'd give you
odds she went to Vallejo.

That's where her jewels are.
She seems like the kind of woman

- that'd go after them.
- I wouldn't be at all surprised.

It was yesterday morning,
probably ran into trouble.

All right, boys, let's
saddle up again.

Oh, boy. I was planning
on spending the day

as far away from a
saddle as I could today.

Yeah.

Candy?

Do you think they'll
release us alive?

- Well...
- The truth.

My conclusion exactly.

They're going to
k*ll us in any event.

Mrs. Wharton...

Any telegram I send
requesting money

has to include the
code word "Absolom."

I didn't include it.

Thanks for telling me.

Mr. Cartwright will
come looking for us.

- But we can't count on him.
- Yes, we can.

- He's our only chance.
- No. No.

Hey, no talking over there!

We'll have to try to escape.

Hey, that was my mirror!

- Oh, I'm very sorry.
- That's bad luck.

I don't like it. No, sir.

Oh, it's not bad luck for us, only
for the one that bust the mirror.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah. That's the way it works.

Breakfast is ready. Now, come on
and get it or I'm gonna throw it out.

I betcha we'd be
better off if you did.

Oh! Disgraceful.

Why, old Dunne got his whole life
story packed under them fingernails.

Oh!

- Hey, what do you think you're doing?
- Untying him so he can eat.

I say let him swill
it up like a dog.

- What are you doing?
- I have a plan.

Now, don't you get no ideas now.

With four of you here?
I wouldn't think of it.

Well, now it's time for us to go
into Vallejo and get our $25,000.

- Now, you write that note to the bank.
- Very well.

What you gonna say, lady?

"Pay to the bearer on demand

the sum of $25,000.

Being placed on
deposit at my order...

by the Golden Gate
Bank of San Francisco.

Signed, Mrs.
Elizabeth H. Wharton."

- Should I read it to you again?
- I can make it out.

Come on, let's go get it.

- Lady, what are you doing?
- I'm going to wash the dishes.

Well, now, you just leave
them dishes be right there.

Whether you like it or not,
I'm going to wash them.

By myself if I have to.

Well, I ain't gonna
help you, lady.

They could do with a good
scrubbing. We ain't gonna be gone long.

Lady, how long are you
gonna keep up that clattering?

Until they're clean.

You there at the table,
I need more water.

Well, go fetch it yourself.

She ain't supposed
to go outside the cabin.

Boy, if there's one thing I can't
stand, it's an uppity, bossity female.

Well, let's get on with it.

This is foolishness. If we'd
just waited for the Cartwrights...

Come on.

Go!

Come on, let's get out of here.

- No, the buggy!
- Hang the buggy! Come on!

- A lady does not ride astride.
- I don't care how you ride! Come on!

Hold it.

Take your g*ns out with your
fingertips and drop them on the ground.

All right, get down.

Hold it.

Get to your feet.

Drop that p*stol on
the ground, you ruffian.

Just use your fingertips.

Now, get into the house.

Yes, ma'am.

Close the door.

And keep it closed.

Mrs. Wharton, I'm grateful for the
thought behind what you did just now.

- You're welcome.
- But...

if I ever said anything good
about you, I take it all back.

If I was not bathed in luck,

you could have sh*t
me just as easy as them.

You're a wild, reckless woman!

Shoulder sh*t. Leg sh*t.

Luck had nothing to do with it.

I am, by common agreement back
home, the best wing-sh*t in the county.

They need tending to.

After that, we'll get my jewels.

Yes, ma'am.

I do want to thank you gentlemen
again for all you've done for me.

Mrs. Wharton, there's
no thanks due to us.

We got here too late
to help, unfortunately,

but Candy did all the helping.

If ever you should come to
Hertfordshire, Mr. Cartwright,

- do come and stay with me.
- Well, thank you very much.

I shall be home
again in about a year.

Special thanks to you, Candy.

Any time, Mrs. Wharton.

Well, goodbye, Joseph.

I sure wish you'd spend
some time with us at the ranch.

No. No. I'm going
into the Dakotas.

The Dakotas?

Yes. I've long wanted to see some
red Indians in their natural environment.

Particularly the
Blackfeet or the Sioux.

And I've met a gentleman
who will guide me there.

Well, again, goodbye all.

- Goodbye, Mrs. Wharton.
- Bye, Mrs. Wharton.

Hey, Pa, don't you think
we ought to try to stop her?

There's no use.

Them Indians are just gonna
have to look out for themselves.

I know what you mean.