11x13 - Abner Willoughby's Return

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Bonanza". Aired: September 12, 1959 - January 16, 1973.*
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Set during and after the Civil w*r, "Bonanza" is the story of Ben and his 3 sons on the family's thousand-acre spread, known as the Ponderosa, near Virginia City.
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11x13 - Abner Willoughby's Return

Post by bunniefuu »

Some extra money for you in
case you need it in an emergency.

Yeah, good, those four drovers'll
want a little spending money

to whoop it up before
they head back.

And here's the map with
Remount plainly marked.

I really don't need a map. I
can find it. But I'll take it with me.

From what I heard, you can sneeze
ridin' through it and miss the whole place.

Don't you worry,
brother, I'll find it.

Joseph, this wire's saying that
Captain Price might be delayed.

If he is, you wait for him.
Deliver the horses to him

and get the gold from him.

Don't you worry about a
thing, Pa. I'll take care of it.

Hey, Pa, Little Joe
with all that gold.

Don't you think I ought
to ride along with him?

You have the calf count to
make, Hoss. That starts tomorrow.

And besides, Pa would
like to get the gold back.

What's that supposed to mean?

You seem to have a little
trouble finding your way home.

That's what it means.
Remember Hangtown?

Well, that little old creek
flooded and wasn't no way

I could get across there with a
r*fle b*llet, much less a horse.

What about Reno? You remember
something happening in Reno?

That was an accident. I was
standing on a corner and a fight started.

And you didn't have any
money to bail yourself out of jail.

We had to go all the
way there and get you out.

That's why Pa gives me these
jobs. He knows who he can trust.

Joseph, get on your
way and get back in time.

Yeah, I'm going,
Pa. Don't worry.

All righty, I make it 52 horses.

I get 53.

Yeah, well, that's
not countin' my horse.

I sure do admire that
horse, Mr. Cartwright.

I don't blame you, Captain,
but he's not for sale.

Well, 52 at $25
each, that's $1,300.

Yeah, that's what I get.

In gold, as agreed.

Here's your bill of sale.

Aren't you gonna count it?

I figure if you can't trust the US
government, who are you gonna trust?

Even they can make a mistake.

Well, I'll give 'em the
benefit of the doubt.

We could use a
lot more like you.

Oh, and be careful. That's a lot
of money you're carrying around.

Right.

Don't put your leg
over that saddle.

Stand down.

Back away from that horse.

Go on! Get out of here!

You want that horse, mister,
you better start running,

'cause he ain't gonna
stop till he gets home.

Now, what made you
do a thing like that?

To keep you from
gettin' the gold.

It wasn't any gold I was
after, mate. It was your horse.

- My horse?
- Aye, mate. I lost mine this mornin'.

The ugly beast ran away while I
was tryin' to lash a saddle to its back.

- All right, hold on.
- What's that for?

You're under arrest.
Leave the g*n in the pocket.

Take your hand out slow and
easy. Come on, get 'em up!

Nice end easy. Come on, up.

There's no g*n.

Of course not. What do
you think I am, a bandit?

Sure, you're a bandit.
You tried to steal my horse.

- But I didn't steal it, did I?
- But you tried.

- That's not the same thing.
- Oh, the heck it isn't.

Well, since we're both afoot on the
beach, we might as well start walkin'.

Hey, well, wait a minute, wait
a minute. Where are we going?

Oh, a little town not far from
here, name of Glory Hole.

That's where I was headed when
the ugly beast ran away from me.

Look, I never heard of
any place called Glory Hole.

Oh, probably a
ghost town by now.

Ten years ago it
was a boom town.

Somebody found
gold. People rushed in.

The gold ran out.
And when it did...

I went to San Francisco.

Was shanghaied the first night
there aboard a British merchant ship.

Spent the next eight
years seeing the world.

Now I'm goin'
back to Glory Hole.

Name's Abner Willoughby,
able-bodied seaman.

- Well, my name's Joe Cartwright.
- How do you do?

So, you've seen the world, huh?

Yeah, I been all the
way around, twice.

- What's it like?
- Big. Only the people are small.

No matter who they
are, what they look like.

They're only after one thing, your
property, your money or your life.

It's hard to believe, isn't it?

You realize that some people would
sink so low as to steal a man's horse.

Oh, wait a minute, Joe.

I'm not your common,
ordinary, run-of-the-mill thief.

There's nothing common and ordinary
about you, Abner, but you are a thief.

Anybody ever tell you
you were stubborn?

Mm-hm. But they can't
put me in jail for that.

- When do we get to Glory Hole?
- Well, should be there before noon.

If we get an early start.

Shotgun Springs? I must have
taken a wrong turn somewhere.

- Hmm.
- This should be Glory Hole.

Yeah, well, I don't care what
they call it as long as it has a jail.

Oh, now, be reasonable, Joe.

Since all that happened, now, we've
shaken hands, broken bread together.

You wouldn't wanna turn
your friend over to the law?

- Mm-hm. Yeah, if he was a thief.
- All right, I'll buy you another horse.

- Will that satisfy you?
- It all depends on what kind of horse.

- Any horse you want.
- Any horse I want?

- Got a deal.
- Okay.

- Yeah, that's a good horse.
- $45.

- You got a saddle?
- No.

I got an old one you
can have for another $12.

Good enough. Pay him.

- Don't have any money yet.
- All right, let's go.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Mr. Stokes, I talk to you for a minute?

$50 is as low as I go.

Did you ever hear of a town named
Glory Hole? It's around here somewhere.

- Yeah, there was a town by that name.
- Where?

Well, you're standing
in the middle of it.

Glory Hole. What kind of a name
is that for a respectable town?

- I know where I can get the money.
- Rob a bank?

- What's the matter? Don't you trust me?
- No.

All right, but I trust
you, so I'll tell you.

I struck paydirt here.

When the gold ran out, I
took the money out of the bank,

buried half of it here and took
the other half to San Francisco.

That's what I'm coming
back for, to dig up the money.

And you expect me to believe
a cock-and-bull story like that?

If you want that horse,
you better believe it.

All right, where'd you bury it?

What's the matter?
Don't you trust me?

All right.

It's at the edge
of town. That way.

It better be.

Now, the first thing
we have to find

is a big rock with a
cross cut in the face of it.

- A big rock, huh?
- Yeah. But everything's changed.

There was nothing
but tents here then.

What, no permanent
buildings at all?

Oh, there were some stores
and one brick building, the bank.

Hmm.

Hey, this brick bank?

That's it! All right,
mate, that's it!

This way.

Now, that... the big rock
should be right over there.

Oh, there. Just act natural,
like we're out for a walk.

- There's no rock.
- Should be right here.

It should be, but it ain't.

Lookin' for somethin'?

Yeah, we're... we're
looking for a rock.

- Find... Find anything?
- It's not there.

- Well, will this one do?
- No, we're lookin' for a big rock.

Well, you'll find plenty of
those just outside of town.

No, no, we mean a big, big one.

In that case, I'm
afraid I can't help you.

No, you don't understand.

Was there a rock around
here when you built the store?

Oh, you mean a big rock.

- That's what we said.
- With a cross cut in the face of it?

- That's the one.
- Well, yeah, I remember that rock.

We had to blast it to flinders
so we could build the store.

You remember where it was?

Yeah, I think it was...

Uh...

I guess it... it would have
been right about here.

- Why d'you wanna know?
- Oh, no reason.

I just wondered what
happened to that rock.

Now, from the rock we
go 200 paces straight west.

Which way is west?

Uh, west ought to
be about that way.

About? That's not good
enough. It's gotta be straight west.

- Use your compass.
- I haven't got a compass.

- How do you find your way?
- I don't get lost.

- Everybody's got a compass.
- Well, then, where's yours?

I should have thought of that.

Well, you were pretty close.

- All right, now, just act natural.
- Mm-hm.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten,

11, 12, 13, 14, 15,

16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight,
nine, thirty, one...

Three, four, five, six, seven,

eight, nine, forty.

One, two, three, four, five,

46, 47, 48, 49, 50.

- Can I help you, sir?
- Uh, yeah.

Show me something
in a... in a 12.

Oh, I'll be with
you in just a minute.

Where was I?

- Uh... 50.
- 50?

- 50, 50.
- 50 here. All right.

51, 52...

Oh, sir, you can't go in there.

- I'll tell him, dear.
- Oh, thank you.

58, 59, 60.

- 59...
- Here.

- Let me get that for you.
- 60, 61, 62...

- There.
- Thank you.

Oh, that's funny.

- What, dear?
- Oh, nothing.

Three, four, five, six, seven...

eight, nine, thirty.

One, two, three, four, five...

Wait a minute, will you? Hey,
Abner, will you wait a minute?

Nine, 140, one.

42, 143, 144, 145,

146, 147, 148, 149,

150, 151, 152, 153... 153.

- Just what do you think you're doing?
- Shh. He's counting.

153.153.153.

- Hey!
- I'll fix it for you.

- 57, 58, 59...
- Yeah, I'll get this fixed up for you.

Good as new.

There we go.

There.

Don't you run off
with that hammer!

Oh, yeah.

There. Thank you.

191, 192, 193, 194, 195,

196, 197, 198, 199, 200.

- That's it, huh?
- Aye.

- That's where the gold is.
- No.

Now we have to go 100 paces
straight north to the sycamore tree.

That way.

That...?

All right, just... just act natural,
like you're taking a walk in the park.

One, two...

That's it, just act natural.

Two, three, four...

Eight, nine, ten, eleven...

Oh, excuse... excuse me.

15, 16, 17...

23, 24, 25...

31, 32, 33, 34!

Did you lose count?

Five, six, seven,
eight, nine, forty.

One...

49, 50, 51, 52,

53, 54, 55, 56,

57, 58, 59, 60,

61, 62, 63, 64, 65,

66, 67, 68, 69, 70,

71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76...

- Oh, excuse me, mate.
- That's quite all right.

- Where was I? Where was I?
- Oh, uh, 76, 76.

76, 77, 78,

79, 80, 81...

82, 83, 84, 85,
86, 87, 88, 89, 90,

91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98,

99, 100! That's it!

- That's where the money is.
- That's where the sycamore tree is.

The money's buried 75 feet
straight west of the sycamore tree.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten,

11, 12, 13, 14, 15,

16, 17, 18, 19,
20, 21, 22, 23...

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, sixty.

Minnie. Minnie,
come on out here.

Come on.

65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70.

This is it, Joe! Five more feet.

What are you doing
in my henhouse?

Well, uh, we were just...

We're, well...

- Out for a walk.
- Yeah, we were just taking a walk.

- You always walk like that?
- Like what?

Like you're sneakin'
up on somethin'.

What would I be sneakin' up on?

A big, plump chicken?

Oh, no, ma'am, we didn't know
there was chickens in there.

There are, and they're
gonna stay there,

just as long as I can
keep the coyotes away.

My ma used to be a trick sh*t
artist with the medicine show.

She's good.

You two must be
strangers around here.

Yes, ma'am.

- You married?
- No, no, we're just good friends.

You hungry? I mean, I got
dinner almost ready on the table.

Yes, ma'am.

All right, you're welcome to stay.
If you'll stop calling me ma'am.

My name is Sprague.
The Widow Sprague.

Oh, well, I'm Joe Cartwright.

Abner Willoughby.

OK. Come on.

This here's my ma, Minnie
Mitchell. This is, um, Abner and Joe.

- Ma'am.
- Ma'am.

A chicken thief ain't no
better than an egg-suckin' dog.

Well, ma'am, look, we really
weren't gonna steal chickens.

We were just...

Out for a walk.
Lookin' the town over.

- What's there to look at?
- Ma.

Come on in.

There's a basin right over there if
you wanna wash up before dinner.

- Thank you, ma'am.
- Thank you.

Ma, you leave them
alone. You hear me?

I ain't gonna sit down at
no table with a chicken thief.

Charlie, time for dinner.

Charlie, do you hear me?
It's time for dinner. Come on.

I want you to meet somebody.

This is Mr. Willoughby
and Mr. Cartwright.

- This is my son, Charlie.
- How you doin', Charlie?

You wash your hands, Charlie.

Are you gonna be my new pa?

No. I'm just... just
gonna have a little dinner.

- Oh, just sit anywhere.
- Thank you.

Sure.

Here we are.

Hmm.

Chicken again?

So I figured I'd come back and
see what the town looked like,

you know, see the old sights.

I used to camp right around here. That's
what I was doing out by your henhouse.

- Oh.
- Let me give you a hand with those.

Oh, no, no, it's all right. You
finish your coffee. I can manage.

You know, I'm real sorry that I
accused you two of stealin' my chickens.

But since my husband d*ed five years
ago, well, that's how I support myself,

with the chickens and the eggs.

And lately I've had an awful
lot of trouble with coyotes.

The four-legged kind
or the two-legged kind?

Both.

Four-legged kind, they
don't know any better,

and the two-legged
kind just don't care.

I noticed when I was out there

that the chicken coop was
beginning to lean a little.

If you like, I could get in there with
some lumber and brace it for you.

No, no, I prefer you stay
away from the chicken coop.

I feel like I ought to do something
to repay you for the meal.

Mr. Willoughby, you don't owe
me for a thing, not... not a thing.

Maybe... Maybe I
could clean it for you.

No, thank you, Mr. Willoughby.

- Well, I think we ought to be going.
- Oh.

- Sure wanna thank you for the dinner.
- Well, it's quite all right.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

A pleasure meetin'
you, Mrs. Mitchell.

Ain't nothin' I hate more
than a dog that sucks eggs.

Yes, ma'am.

Well, it's a pleasure
meetin' you, Mrs. Sprague.

It's kind of nice to have
a man around the table.

Well, if you're gonna
be around for a while...

Ma'am...

Well, what I mean is, you're
welcome to come back.

- Well, thank you, ma'am.
- Dinner was just great.

- Well, where do we go from here?
- I don't know. I'm thinkin'.

I reckon I can tell
you where you're goin'.

- Right back in the house.
- Who says so?

Well, Mr. Vinson said he thought
he saw you boys go in there,

so I thought I'd come
along and just tell you

that's where you're
gonna stay for a while.

- What's this all about, Sheriff?
- This house is under quarantine.

- What?
- Smallpox.

Smallpox?

You're goin' the wrong way.

I never had smallpox.

You mean up till now.

Uh, look, could you send
a telegram for me, Sheriff?

Sure. You write it out and I'll
send it. Just slip it under the door.

Now, both of you,
back in the house.

Back in the house.

We just... just ate there.

I... I need a pencil and
a piece of paper, ma'am.

Yes, it's right over here.

- I'll... I'll get it.
- What's the matter?

Keep away from me, lady!

- What is the matter?
- Smallpox, that's what's the matter.

- Oh, that.
- Oh, that? That can k*ll ya!

But there isn't any smallpox.

- What?
- There isn't any smallpox.

Oh! Well, I gotta go
out and tell the sheriff.

- He thinks you got smallpox.
- No! No, no.

Look, you can't
tell the sheriff.

Look, I can explain all this.
You see... I owe the bank $300.

And they were going to come and
take my house because I can't pay it.

So I made up the story about
Charlie, my son, having smallpox,

and unfortunately
they... quarantined us.

Look, lady, I'm sorry
you have a problem,

but I'm not gonna spend the
rest of my life in your house.

Look, don't you see, if
you leave, if you two leave,

then he'll know that there's nothing
wrong in the house, don't you see?

And then he'll tell the bank
and then the bank will come...

Look, there's nothing
I can do about it.

Wait a minute, Joe. Excuse
us for a moment, ma'am.

I'd like to talk to
you, Joe. Excuse us.

- I've got an idea.
- Oh, good.

No, no, no, listen to this.
We're here, the money's there.

We couldn't be closer to it

than if we pitched a tent
right outside that henhouse.

Yeah, and how are we gonna
get to it with Granny around?

That's a tough one,
but I'll work on it.

Ma'am, we've decided to go along
with your story and back you up.

Oh, that is very, very
considerate of both of you.

What are you gonna do
when the sheriff finds out

that Charlie doesn't
have smallpox?

Well, I guess he'll have to come down
with a bad case of the whooping cough.

Whooping cough? How
long d'you think I'm gonna...

Now, I have a very nice
room I can let you have. Cheap.

- Cheap? Are you...
- And it will include your meals.

Oh, I hope you like chicken. I
know 16 different ways to cook it.

Now, wait a minute. I'm...

Just a minute, Joe. We'll take
the room, ma'am. Thank you.

Good. Right this way.

Sheriff?

Well, this is it.

Get this window open here.

It's... It's very
nice. Very nice.

Ma, Mr. Cartwright
and Mr. Willoughby

are gonna be staying
with us for a little while.

I think I'd better get some
clean sheets for this bed.

- Thank you.
- Be right back.

No one's slept in this room
since my husband went on ahead.

Oh, I'm... I'm very sorry,
ma'am. When'd he die?

Oh, he didn't die. He
just went on ahead.

Guess it was silly of me

to think that a man who
traveled with a medicine show'd

ever settle down
and raise a family.

- Oh, let me help you with those.
- Oh, no, really, I can manage.

No, let me do it, please.

Well, all right.

- Dinner is at 5:30.
- Thank you.

How am I gonna get
into that henhouse, Joe?

I don't know. We got
plenty of time to figure it out.

If I go in during the day,

that sweet little old lady's
gone blow my brains out.

If I go in at night, who
knows what'll happen?

Why don't you try something
different? Go down and tell her the truth?

It's her property. What if she
gets greedy and decides to keep it?

Don't judge everybody
by yourself, Abner.

What's that supposed to mean?

You tell me everybody in the
world is mean, ugly and greedy.

Well, I don't happen to see it that
way. I think it's all in the way you think.

You happen to think
mean, ugly and greedy.

I'm tellin' you what I
saw, Joe, not what I am.

Well, how did you convince yourself
it was right for you to steal my horse?

- That was different.
- Why? Because it's you?

Was it right for them
to shanghai me?

Well, what the heck has that got
to do with you stealing from me?

Look, let's face it, Abner, the
money is buried on her property.

- But it's my money.
- All right, it's your money.

She might see it that way
if you give her a chance.

All right.

I'll do that.

Mr. Willoughby, would
you like a cup of coffee?

Thank you, ma'am.

- Sit down, Mr. Willoughby.
- Oh, thank you.

You know, I'm real sorry
about what happened.

Oh, well, that's done.

No, Mr. Willoughby, that
is a lie, 'cause I'm not sorry.

You know, it'll be real nice to
have a man around here to do for.

When my husband,
Frank, was alive,

I was always complainin'
about the chores,

washin' and ironin',
pickin' up after him.

But when you don't have to do, it
just gives you too much time to think.

I guess you must get
used to bein' alone.

No, Mr. Willoughby,
you never get used to it.

You just learn to live with it.

Did you ever stop to wonder...

About what?

Well, if there was any
more gold around here.

If there was gold around here,
there'd be men out there lookin' for it.

I don't know, that's the
funny thing about gold.

Sometimes it has a way of being
where you least expect it to be.

The same thing could be said
for the men who are lookin' for it.

What if one of them men
came back here and found gold?

On my land?

He'd have to fight me for it.

Well, wouldn't it be part his?

If it's on my land,
Mr. Willoughby, it is mine.

- Now, that's the law.
- Does that make it right?

The law isn't concerned with
what's right, Mr. Willoughby,

only what's legal.

Now, the law says that
the bank can come in here

and take this house
away from me,

throw me, my ma and my
little boy right out on the street.

Now, that ain't right.

But it's legal.

- Would you like some more coffee?
- No, thank you, ma'am.

- Mr. Willoughby?
- Hello, Charlie.

Are you gonna be my new pa?

No, I'm afraid not, Charlie.

Mr. Willoughby, is there
something wrong with me?

You don't wanna be my pa?

Oh, no, Charlie, there's nothing
wrong with you, you're a fine boy,

but to be your pa, I'd
have to marry your ma.

Are you sayin' there's
something wrong with my ma?

No, no, she's... she's a
good, hard-workin' woman,

and she's pretty too,

but it's that part about gettin'
married that bothers me.

- Would you have to?
- Oh, that's the law.

It may not be
right, but it's legal.

Charlie, you been
listenin' at the keyhole?

You do a lot of that?

Charlie, listen, you
better be careful,

'cause somebody could shove a
broom straw through that keyhole,

and maybe puncture an
eardrum or put out an eye.

Yes, sir.

Did you tell her?

Round about. I told her.

She said any money on
her land belonged to her.

All right, Stokes.
Thank you very much.

Oh, here, take this for your
trouble. There'll be no reply.

All right, Stokes.

Hey, Pa, Joe's horse just
came in. Saddlebag was in it.

- The money an' all.
- This came in too. Read this.

"I'm in Shotgun Spr..." What's
he doin' in Shotgun Springs?

Well, he says he'll explain
when we get there with his horse.


- Where's Candy?
- He's gone to the barn.

Better saddle up our horses
while I put this money in the safe.

Joseph had better have
a pretty good explanation.

Knowing Joseph, he will.

The only reason I wanna go
along, so I can hear it firsthand.

See who that is, will you?

Hey. Hey, Abner,
will you get that?

- There's someone in the henhouse.
- Are you sure?

Yes, yes, and I thought
maybe you and Mr. Willoughby

better go down and take a look.

Yeah. Why don't we let Abner
sleep? He's had a very hard day.

Any man who'd steal from a
widow woman don't deserve to live.

Let me borrow that.
I'll take care of it.

It's really a man's
work, don't you think?

Well, just remember you
don't have to aim that g*n.

Just point it and
pull the trigger.

Yeah, I... I can see that. Why don't
you two get some sleep? Go on.

Ma, you go back to bed.

- What are you doin' out here?
- Savin' your life.

Grandma was about to come
out and blow your brains out.

- Did you find anything yet?
- There's nothin' here to find.

- Well, you sure this is the right spot?
- Dead sure. I paced it off again.

75 feet straight west from
the sycamore tree is right here.

Joe?

- Is everything all right?
- Oh, yeah, just fine.

Probably just an old dog
runnin' around somewhere

got the chickens
stirred up a little bit.

I'll get 'em calmed
down, be inside.

- You're sure?
- Oh, yeah, fine.

OK.

You sure this is the right spot?
Maybe you didn't dig deep enough.

I know how deep I
buried it. It's not here.

Let's get the hole filled in.

Might as well.

- What are you doin' here?
- I heard a noise.

- I was just out for a walk.
- Why didn't you use the door?

Uh... I... I didn't
wanna disturb anyone.

Charlie, I'd appreciate it if you
didn't mention this to anyone.

It'll be our secret. OK?

OK. If you take me fishin'.

- Are you a good fisherman?
- I don't know.

I never had anybody take me.

Well, if you can
manage one healthy day

between the smallpox
and the whooping cough,

I'll take you
fishing, all right?

Are you a good
fisherman, Mr. Willoughby?

The very best. Now, get to bed.

Well, the whole evening
wasn't a total loss.

- Joe.
- What?

Joe, wake up.

I know where the gold is.

- What?
- I know where the gold is.

- Where is it?
- They've got it.

- Who's got it?
- Them?

Who's them?

The Widow Sprague and
her mother, the old lady.

Oh, come on, Abner.

If they had the money, why
wouldn't they just pay the rent

and forget all the
smallpox business?

That's a good question.

Yeah.

Goodnight, Abner.

Goodnight, Joe.

Joe. Joe. I have it.

Abner, you can't have it. They were
lying when they said Charlie had it.

No, no, I'm not talking about the
smallpox. I'm talking about the gold.

I told you, Abner...

Will you listen to me for just a
minute? I think I've got it figured out.

Now, supposing,
just supposing...

that they found the gold.

Now, being greedy,
they weren't satisfied.

That's when they
made their decision.

What decision?

That's what I haven't
figured out yet.

Goodnight, Abner.

Goodnight, Joe.

Oh, Charlie, please
don't whittle in the house.

Ma, can I get over
the smallpox now?

No, not yet, dear.

- Well, good morning, gentlemen.
- Morning, ma'am.

- Did you sleep well?
- Yes, ma'am, till the rooster woke us.

Well, Mr. Willoughby
said he'd take me fishin'.

- He did? When did he tell you that?
- Last night.

It's funny to look
out the porthole

and not see everything going
up and down and up and down.

You know something, Mr. Willoughby,
you're really a very nice man.

Feel the deck firmly planted,
not shiftin' under your feet.

- Have many people told you that?
- What's that?

That you're a very nice man.

No, most people have
the opposite opinion.

- Does that bother you?
- No, saves me a lot of trouble.

People don't think I'm nice, they don't
expect anything from me, you know.

Like expecting to
be taken fishing?

Well, I mean anything.

Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Willoughby,
but I still think you're a very nice man.

I don't mind, as long as you
don't expect anything from me.

I expect you to take me fishin'.

- Well, I told you I would, didn't I?
- Can I, Ma?

- No - Just for one day.

No, no, no, and
that is final, Charlie.

Oh, please stop whittling in here. Now,
go in and help Grandma. Go on, go on.

You know, Mrs. Sprague,
it's none of my business,

but I think it was wrong of you

to include your boy in
that lie about the smallpox.

Well, you're right on both
counts, Mr. Cartwright.

It was wrong and it is
none of your business.

It's the only way I could
keep a roof over his head.

Wasn't there any other way
you could raise the money?

I tried, I really did, but I
got behind in payments

and, well, Mr. Vinson just
wants this land real bad.

- He has for a long time now.
- Well, why this piece?

Well, there's a
story going around

that a miner buried a fortune
around here years ago, you know,

and took off and
never came back.

- Is that a fact?
- No, it's not a fact.

He just believes it is.

Look at him. There
he is right now.

Every morning
on his way to work,

he stands underneath
that sweetgum tree

and just stands
lookin' at the house.

- Sycamore tree.
- Sweetgum.

- Sycamore.
- Sweetgum.

Sweetgum?

We cut that sycamore
tree down a long time ago.

- Where was it?
- What?

- The sycamore tree.
- Out by the back of the house.

- The back of the house?
- What? For heaven’s sake, Mr...

Back of the house!

What in the world is the
matter with you? I told you...

Where is it? Where is it?

- Where?
- There.

Oh, oh.

This is it. This, this.

- You sure?
- Positive. This is it.

One, one, two, three, four,

five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten...

- One, two, three, four, five...
- Hold it, hold it. Hold it.

- Five. Five.
- Wait. Wait.

Here.

Five, four, four. Four.

Three. Three. Three.

Four...

five, six, seven,

eight, nine.

Two degrees. Two
degrees to port.

- Port.
- Port. Port!

Your other port.
Your other port. Port.

- Now where was I?
- Uh... Eight.

Eight? Eight.

Eight, nine, ten, eleven.

Oh. 12, 13...

One, two, three, four, five.

Get a shovel.

Seven, eight, nine, seventy.

One, two, three.

Five! This is it! Joe,
Joe, give me the shovel.

There you go.

I'm sure it is.

Hey, you're not allowed
to dig on this land.

Keep away from me or
I'll give you the smallpox.

This is going to be my land
and you're not allowed to dig on it.

Charlie, go shake
hands with that man.

You... You just stay
away from me, boy.

You hear me? You get away.

You're trying to k*ll me.

I'll get the sheriff!

This is it, Joe. Here it is. Just
like I left it. Everything's here.

- Willoughby, I can't thank you enough.
- For what?

- For finding the money for me.
- It's my money.

It was on my property.
It belongs to me.

- Over my dead body.
- If that's the way you want it.

OK, all right,
all right, Granny.

Here.

Mean, ugly and greedy. It's
not just me, Joe, it's everybody.

Why, Sheriff, you
can come right on in.

You know, as it turned out,
Charlie didn't have smallpox after all.

Thank you.

Are you... Are you
sure it's all right?

Oh, yes, I'm very
sure. It was just a rash.

All right, Sheriff, you
can serve the papers.

Never mind, Sheriff.

It just so happens
that I have the money.

- Go out and play, Charlie.
- Oh, Ma.

Charlie.

- And here is your money.
- That's my money.

- It was on my property.
- I put it there.

- Is that true?
- Probably.

But it doesn't make any difference,
because it was on my property.

Well, my claim was here
when I buried it, Sheriff.

That means it's
mine, doesn't it?

Well, that's not for me to say.
Gonna have to let a judge decide that.

Till he gets here, it kind of looks
like I'm gonna have to look after it.

Which means that she doesn't
have the money to pay off the loan.

Serve the paper, Sheriff.

I'm gonna have to, Mrs. Sprague.

And since this is
going to be my property

by the time the judge gets here,

I've got a claim on the
money that's in that box.

No, you don't Mr. Vinson.
It belongs to Mr. Willoughby.

He put it there. It's his.

Then you're giving up
your claim to the money?

Yes.

Just a minute. I've got a
claim on that money too.

No, you haven't, 'cause I
haven't served the papers yet.

Then do it.

All in good time,
Mr. Vinson. All in good time.

Mr. Willoughby,
here's your money.

Well, it... it was
on her property.

She says it's yours.

Well, no, no, no, no.
It's... She's wrong. It's hers.

Then you're saying
it's not yours?

Yeah.

All right.

Sheriff, I'd really like to take
it, but it doesn't belong to me.

- I'm saying it does.
- But everybody knows it doesn't.

Not really.

Abner, take the money.

Come on.

Aye.

All right, Sheriff,
serve the papers.

How much does she owe you?

- $300.
- $300?

- Yes.
- All right. There's 100.

There's 200. That's 300.

Mortgage.

Mr. Willoughby, I
can't take your money.

I'm not givin' it to you. I'm
just buyin' the mortgage.

You owe me $300, Mrs. Sprague,
and I'm not leavin' till you pay me.

We don't need you anymore.

Not till next time, when you
need more money. Ladies.

Could have sworn
that was smallpox.

Joe, you were right. I owe
you a horse and an apology.

Both accepted.

- You mean that's all there was?
- I never claimed there was much.

It's just all I had.

Charlie, get your
pole. We're goin' fishin'.

- Yes, sir!
- Charlie can't go fishin' now.

He's got his chores to do.
And he has to feed the chickens!

- You feed the chickens.
- I can't. I have to go fix dinner.

Then tell Granny to load her b*ll*ts
full of bird seed instead of buckshot

and blow it out at the chickens,
'cause we're goin' fishin'.

- How'd you know I was usin' buckshot?
- 'Cause I been to the big city, Granny.

I've seen the elephant.

- Yes?
- Hello, ma'am.

Is there a Joe Cartwright here?

Well, yes, there is.
Would you like to come in?

Thank you.

- Hi, Pa.
- Joseph.

Mrs. Sprague, this is
my father, Ben Cartwright.

Well, how do you do?

- My brother Hoss, and that's Candy.
- How do you do?

- This is Abner Willoughby.
- How do?

- How do?
- Oh, and Mrs. Mitchell.

- Yeah.
- Mrs. Mitchell.

Joseph, there are a couple of
things I'd like to talk to you about.

Yeah. Did my horse
get home all right?

Yes, horse got back all right. That's
one of the things I want to talk about.

- Why don't we talk on the way home?
- We'll talk about it now.

Now.

If there's somewhere round
here we can speak privately?

Oh, you just go right
ahead, right here.

I have to get my
chicken ready for dinner.

Come on, Ma.

Come on, come on.

What's she got that g*n out for?

Oh, she's gonna
feed the chickens.

- Now, Joseph, I want...
- I'll explain. I'll explain everything.

Now, I went and I got the
money like I was supposed to.

Started on back to the ranch.
That's when I ran into these bandits.

Bandits? There was just one.

- That's when I ran into this bandit.
- He was a mean, ugly, greedy man.

- And big.
- Not so big.

- Well, he was medium big.
- About my size.

- Were you there?
- Every minute.

You mean the two of you together
couldn't have taken care of one man?

Well, we weren't
together. I was the bandit.

Yeah. He was the bandit.

You were the mean,
ugly, greedy man?

Aye, sir. But, you see, I
didn't know it at the time.

I thought I was just
like everybody else.

Joseph, you'd better explain
this to me on the way home.

Yes, sir.

Look, I got my horse back.
I don't need another one.

- You might as well take this.
- Oh, thanks, Joe.

You know, Abner, you're not
all good and you're not all bad.

I guess you are just
like everybody else.

- Good luck, man.
- Thank you, Joe.

- You ready to go, Mr. Willoughby?
- Any time you say, Charlie.

Any time you say.

Mr. Willoughby, are you
gonna be my new pa?

Don't whittle in
the house, Charlie.
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