01x05 - Community Service

Episode transcripts for the TV show "PEN15". Aired: February 8, 2019 –; December 3, 2021*
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Comedy series that depicts middle school as it really is.
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01x05 - Community Service

Post by bunniefuu »

Wait, look, look.

Mr. O's underwear sticking out. Oh, my God!

I would like put my head in the butt part and I would wear it on my face as a mask to fall asleep.

All right, settle down, settle down, people.

All right, it's Monday. We got a lot to get through.

But first and foremost is signing up for your mandatory community service project.

More like community suck-vice.

I doubt that you will be saying that when you hear these extremely cool options.

OK, Sam's dad is delivering meals to the homeless.

PB&J making party at my house!

Yeah... all right.

There's a river trash pick up.

You can scrape gum off the bridge. That one.

And finally, Heather's mom... is hosting a fashion show at the nursing home. Huh?

OK, now I am so excited.

Sign up sheets are in the hallway.

OK, go now! Go, go, go!

Calmly! No running!

Maya Ishii-Peters, sign it!

No!

No, I'm getting in. I got it, I got it, I got it.

Guys, guys, stop it, stop it. It's my mom, not yours, OK? It's my mom.

Yes!

Personal space. Is it your mom?

I don't think so. Maya, we're gonna be supermodels.

Litter and say bye to nature as we know it.

Here. Pass this around.

She's at that group. Go ask her.

Spending time with the elderly can be so rewarding. Mm-hmm.

Whenever Heather and I visit her grandma in the home, I think to myself, no one else even notices these people besides us.

So true, you guys!

I mean, some of these older people haven't been noticed in 40, 50 years.

Yeah. So let's fix that.

Now what turns heads more than a big, beautiful hat?

Almost nothing.

Oh, my God. That's so true. Wow!

Luckily, I have my own new line of hats...

Deb's Darling Designs. Aw!

Oh, my God! Holy sh*t!

And each of you will be wearing one of my creations as you walk the runway with one of Franklin County's most forgotten old people...

Hey, um, why aren't you in your boyfriend's group?

She can't leave her best friend.

Excuse me. Can you please go back to your own circle?

Go!

Anyway, as I was saying.

The actual fashion show is on Saturday...

...but we'II have two rehearsals before that to make sure you're good at modeling.

The first rehearsal is tomorrow afternoon.

Heather, don't speak over me, sweetie.

So, please. This is essential.

Bring a professional photo of yourself to the rehearsal.

Headshots at the mall after school so we get the best hats. Yay!

So where... where are you guys meeting at the...

Should we meet at the Orange Julius? Or like...

Oh, we actually already have reservations.

Cool, so do we so...

Sorry. Yeah, I know we can't come either.

It's fine.

Well, bye, you guys. Whatever. Bye, see you guys tomorrow.

I have a plan. OK, what?

There's a spot right near my house and I feel like our pictures will look exactly like theirs.

Promise? I pinky promise.

So... what's the plan?

Oh, you are still here?

Oh, my gosh, I knew yours was gonna be beautiful. Great.

Oh, so nice. And you know, tomorrow, our next rehearsal, you'll be meeting your mature partners!

Won't that be fun?

Jeez!

OK... These photos are just incredible. So beautiful.

The zig-zaggy part is so cute and so is your eye shadow.

Oh, my God, you guys. Oh, my God.

I think your mothers knew what they were doing, they got you dressed up.

Oh, my God! That lip-shade!

Can I borrow that? Yes!

Anna, you look so pretty!

Aw. Thanks.

Huh.

Anna, what... what? I don't know what that is in your photo.

That's a fan It's a fan.

OK, you know normally if you want that kind of the airbrush look, you don't keep the fan in.

Um, thank you for the note.

I don't know what you're doing here, Maya.

You know, you almost look like you were missing and I know you're not because you're right there.

But I wouldn't even put that.

Honestly I wouldn't even put that on a milk carton.

Thank you for the note.

So, Terra, you know, she looks like she's from the 1800s.

But it's on modern paper and that... that matters.

I found that dress in the river.

OK, so let's go try out our outfits.

OK? Yay!

I can basically see my reflection in your lip-gloss.

You look so cute! So shiny!

Oh, my God!

Do you have any lip-gloss? What?

Thanks for letting me borrow these shoes, Heather Feather.

Duh, babe.

Oh, my God! What?

Heather's wearing a thong. Oh, my God, no way.

Yeah.

Do I recognize that pink top, Miss Rebecca?

Um, yeah, Heather let me borrow it.

Um, Heather do you have a pink t*nk that I could borrow?

Because I lost mine.

Um... I'm sorry I'm not really allowed to let people borrow my clothes.

You know, sometimes people lose them.

That's cool like we can buy some 'cause we have...

Money. Money.

Yeah.

OK, you three... can... can you come over here for a second, doll?

You three... Yeah?

OK can you, um, look more like the other girls with your outfits?

You know because I'd like the outfits to be more uniform to match the hats.

Uh-huh.

My hats can do a lot of work but they can't, you know, do everything.

So, can we jus... There we go. Like, just... yeah.

Like this? You know, back, back, back, there we go.

Jess, you got the best hat. Oh, thank you, but Heather definitely got the best hat.

It is quite flattering for me.

It's just so... oh, so amazing. Your hat, like, match matched your hair. So cute.

Guys, do you want to see my grandma's room?

Duh, yes! Oh, my God!

There's actually, like, not enough room for everyone so...

Um...

Ooh, how about raise your hand if you've been to Heather's house before?

That's who can come.

When?

Girl Scouts in second grade.

Follow me, guys.

Great idea, Becca. Thanks. I know, right?

Your hat matched your hair.

What?

Look in there.

Oh, my God. I know. This is what they were using.

No!

Oh... my...

Wait. Why did she take that off? I don't know.

Wait, I dare you to try it on.

What? I dare you.

I triple dog dare you.

Yeah! This is... Oh, my God!

Wait. Shh!

I can't say no to a triple dog dare. I can do it.

Wait, block me.

Oh, my... Put it on, put it on.

Put it on, put it on.

Oh, my God! How does it feel?

Crazy. My God. Let me see. Turn around.

Wait, I wanna try it on! Ow!

Wait, I wanna try it on. Let me try it on.

Stop. Stop. No, I wanna try it. Let me!

Oh, my God! Heather, stop!

Put your pants on.

Someone's coming here...

Put your pants on.

Stop moving. Stop.

Stop.

Good one, Heather.

Your mom's honking outside.

OK. Thanks, Becca.

You're welcome. Wait, Anna, Anna, Anna.

Why are your pants off?

They weren't. They weren't.

Oh, here, that was so fun. Yeah.

I had a great time.

OK.

See you tomorrow.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I can't believe that happened.

I didn't mean to steal. I'm gonna give back to her tomorrow after I wash it. Yeah. No, no, no.

No, that's not fair. What do you mean?

You got to try it on and I didn't it.

Fine, you can have it. It's on you then.

OK, fine. OK, then good.

Give it... give it... Give it to me in the car.

I will, it hurts. Have fun.

Hi, girls.

How did the community service go?

I don't know, we learn stuff, Mom, like...

All right.

Seatbelt, girls. OK Let's just drive. OK.

Maya...

I'm washing my hands for a while so no one bother me.

One, two, three.

Freak!

Damn, white lady.

Yo Hi, Shuji, is Maya there please?

Bitch here she be.

Woah, you sound different. Um...

Anyways, I was just thinking I'm just, like, feeling a little, like, guilty.

- Are you feeling the same thing? Yes, bothering me a lot.

You know, I just want to make sure that you wash it and that we give it back to her, like, put it in her bag tomorrow.

Uh-huh. For sure, washing it right now.

We're just not that kind of people, like... we won't take something on purpose, you know.

Bye!

Bye!

Hey.

Hey.

You notice anything different about me?

Baby got back.

You still have... Are you serious?

Maya, no. What?

You promised that we give it back, like, stop.

Right, you seriously need to chill 'cause I'm gonna give it back tomorrow.

Like, nine people have looked at my butt and my boobs for some reason and I've literally only been here for ten minutes.

Nine.

Hey, bowl cut.

I mean Maya.

Don't look at me.

Ten.

OK, you got checked out ten times. Like I do... I do, too.

Like...

Oh, Alex, look. Oh, sh*t.

I need it. What?

It, it, it.

Anna. Maya.

What? No. Give it to me.

Give me the... Give me the thing.

Hey.

Let's make love.

I do it all the time.

What happened to your neck?

OK, I'm sorry. OK.

She almost caught us.

So, now that you've met your Fashion Show partners, it's important between now and Saturday to really bond, OK?

So turn to your partner and ask if you are a hat what kind would you be?

I don't really wear hats.

Oh, Heather, you're so pretty, if I were a hat I'd be you.

You make my hair flat. Oh, your hair is beautiful.

Your hair is beautiful. No, it's not.

I literally already love you.

I'm not kidding.

You're not? Wow. No.

Chew, chew.

If I were a hat I would be of... a kind of like...

Oh, my God. We could get...

I'll give you... I'll give you a manicure.

OK. You give me a foot massage.

OK... now?

Can... can... Hel... Can you... Can you let go?

You're hurting me.


Pu, let go. Let go, Pu.

Pu diddly Pu, Pu diddly Pu, let go, yeah?

Heath, are you OK?

Yeah, I'm fine I just... lost something. My mom is going to k*ll me.

Maybe one of us took it home accidentally.

What is it? Um... it-it's private, you guys.

I can't really tell you, but it's... it's pink.

OK.

Let's look for it. That's all we need to know.

OK, that's a good start.

Look, don't worry.

Can I look in your bag? Yeah.

Pink?

Anna, why aren't you looking? I am.

Someone took it by accident, it's just really important.

Look in your bag.

I literally looked everywhere, you guys. I'm freaking out.

Oh, my God, I feel so bad for Heather.

I mean, like, we should definitely give it back.

Like tonight or like...

Tomorrow, yeah. Tomorrow, yeah.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow Seriously, Anna... give it to me between classes I'm gonna give it to her.

Such a hypocrite!

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Hi, Anna.

Tomorrow. What?

Twenty. 25, 30, I have thirty. Thirty, 35, 40, I have forty.

I have forty.

My tallies are through the roof. My gel pen is basically out of gel.

So, listen to me. I'm listening.

OK, so we have the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We gotta give it back. We gotta give it back.

Tomorrow...

So. To... After the...

After the show. ...the show.

After the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. After the show.

After the show. We are on the same page.

We'll give it back after the show.

OK, great. After the fashion show.

Yeah. Who has show dips?

There, let's...

It's only fair rock, paper, scissor. OK. I don't care.

On 15, go.

Oh, my God.

OK, ladies, listen up.

We don't have much time before the show but as you know something of Heather's was stolen.

A thong.

Please call it underwear, mom.

Shut up, sweetie.

Everybody, stand up and get in a circle please.

And whoever took Heather's thong is going to put it in the middle of the table and no one will know because we're going to just turn around, close our eyes and hum on the count of three. OK?

One, two, three.

OK, open your eyes.

Yeah, yeah, you guys. Really?

Gone. OK, I see.

No one giving back. OK. OK.

Well, I don't have time for this sh*t.

I have to take care of the elderly.

So, Heather, you're gonna just have to wear the panties you have on.

Guys, seriously, this isn't funny anymore. Like, if someone took Heather's thong, just say so. Yeah, you guys...

It must have been Anna, Maya or Terra.

What? What?

The Bible says no thongs.

Anna and Maya, you guys were in the changing room when all of us went to see Grandma Mary's room on Monday.

That's probably when you stole it, just admit it.

That's insane, you're literally crazy. What?

Show me your underwear.

OK, show you our underwear? Show me just the top.

Are you crazy?

Oh, Maya, show her your underwear. OK, show your underwear.

Show me your underwear.

You guys, you guys, you guys, this is getting really out of hand.

I agree and you're perverted.

Can we just let it go, Becca?

Let's do the show, let's do the show, I'm really... I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry you lost it.

Do you guys remember it's about the hats?

Hello, welcome to the Hat Extravaganza.

Thank you so much for coming.

I realized a lot of you were already here so thank you for leaving your rooms.

Also I'd like to thank my pals from my book club/wine club for being here.

So, please just enjoy yourself.

OK, here we go, let's get crazy.

Liar!

She's gonna pull your pants down. Who?

Becca... Becca's gonna pull your pants down.

Oh, no, no, no, stop it. What's wrong with you? Come with me.

Come with me.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, we got away with it.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. We got away with it, Anna.

What are you talking about, we got away with it?

I was embarrassed in front of the entire retirement community.

Oh, my God! Take off the thong. We don't need it.

No. I'm keeping it. "No"?

Anna, stop it, stop it. Take it off, take it off.

Anna, stop it. You're gonna break it. We're not stealers. We're not stealers.

Stop!

Stop!

No!

Are you seriously serious?

You, like, b*rned my assh*le.

I'm freaking seriously dead serious

'cause that thing was ripping everybody apart.

You literally just, like, ruined my life!

That thong ruined you.

Damn it. And my vag*na.

I have to say sometimes things just don't turn out like you planned them, right?

And I apologize for that.

You should be apologizing to me.

I literally can't talk to you right now when you have an attitude like that.

Pu, can you please tell Anna that I'm not speaking to her either right now?

Um, Pu... can you please tell Maya that sometimes you have to right your wrongs in life or karma will get you which is exactly what happened to me today?

Thank you very much. You know what, Pu, you please tell Anna that I'd like a karma to run me over because she destroyed the one thing that actually made me feel pretty like a normal human.

But you're pretty now. No, I am not.

What is this thing? I mean I want one.

We can't talk about it. You know, it's like pink... and it like, it's like, it has, it's like a stretchy.

It wasn't ours.

Yeah, but when it was, it was really amazing.

See, you're overreacting right now. No, I'm not.

Truly... Tru... Maya... Anna...

Truly your reaction is telling me that it's good that we destroyed it.

That is literally the most messed up thing you could ever say because you weren't ugliest girl in school, OK?

No, no, no, no, no, no, not to be corny, but I gotta say this...

All my life I would grow a year older look back and think I was prettier the year before I never got to enjoy my beauty but I kept obsessing over it all the time.

I wish someone had told me when I was younger that I was beautiful because of who I was not what I had.

Is she choking?

"I... am... beautiful."

She's saying "I'm beautiful and I don't need things on my body to make me feel beautiful."

You got that from that? Yeah.

Wow.

How's everybody holding up? Pu?

Something magical just happened.

OK, Pu, stop it.

I get it! OK? Let go.

You know what to do.

Maya? What?

I'm not abandoning you. I'm just letting you go and you're gonna be loved just like I... love you.

Bye.

Bye.

OK, let's go.

Let's go. Are you OK?

Yeah.

Proud of you. Yeah.

Um, do I look OK? Yeah. Do I?

Yeah, but it's what's inside that counts, so...

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Right.

Pu? Pu?

I forgot your grapes, OK?

Gonna get you some purples, OK? Purples. I'll be right back.
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