01x06 - Posh

Episode transcripts for the TV show "PEN15". Aired: February 8, 2019 –; December 3, 2021*
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Comedy series that depicts middle school as it really is.
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01x06 - Posh

Post by bunniefuu »

OK.

They're gonna be here like any minute. I know.

Did you bring your mom's shopping bag?

Oh, yes. Chanel, baby... Oh, perfect.

You want tape, too? Yeah, thanks.

Thank you, madam.

OK, so, we have... the milk cups... OK, yeah, amazing.

Um, what else do we need? OK, we have some clothes.

Stevie's gonna be bringing... camera... Camera.

Connie can bring clothes and I have clothes.

I just hope that they take this project seriously

'cause osteoporosis is not a joke.

Like my grandmother had it and devastated my father.

He hasn't really been the same.

Hey, Butt Lords.

What are you doing? Shuji, go away.

We're working on, like, a serious project. Hello!

Hey, Shuj.

What up?

Hey, Evan.

Hey. What's up with you?

We... we was gonna go see Cast Away again?

I like your hair today.

Um, my mum wanted me to give this to you before we left. Um...

Don't flick me off!

Bye, Evan.

OK, do you, um... Your brother is fine.

Anna, stop, that's disgusting.

Uh, stop! OK, did you bring the snacks?

Hell yeah!

Gushers, cheetos. Perfect.

Just like you requested.

Oh, my God! OK, they're here. They're here.

They're here. We're good. All right, all right, all right.

We're good. We're good. Yeah, we're good.

You look good. Do I? Mm-hmm. You look good. Yeah. Do I? OK.

Um... Chill. Shh. Chill.

Are you ready. One, two, three. You ready?

Do it.

One, two, three.

Hey.

Thanks for, like coming over, you guys.

We had to for school, obviously.

Oh, yeah, of course, yeah. Yeah, obviously.

So...

Is anyone hungry?

You guys hungry, or like... Um...

Anna?

Like...

No, don't... No.

Do you, like, have more food? No.

That's not possible. Uh, can I check the fridge?

Actually my brother ate everything we have, so, like there's nothing in there. Literal... There's...

It's just on the right.

Ew!

Why is there fish heads in here. Close it! Close it.

Maya, have you any ham?

No, do you want me to buy some?

No, it's like... it's like an inside joke.

Yeah, OK. Never mind, I'm not hungry anymore.

Should we, like, start the project or... We'll start. OK. Get the clothes. Yeah, we'll do it, you guys, so...

Um, if you want to choose, like, Spice Girl outfits to be Spice Girls. Oh, yeah.

Let's just pick from what Connie and I brought.

Yeah. Oh, good idea.

So, just to go over it, you guys, so, we're the old Spice Girls and we, like, can't sing or dance 'cause we have osteoporosis so, we need milk, so, that we... And then we drink and we get strong and then we'd fight dance...

OK. I'm Baby.

I'm Posh. I want to be Posh.

Baby. Ginger.

I'm Sporty then. OK.

OK. I'm Baby. Steve's Ginger, Anna's Sporty, and Connie's Posh.

Wait, I called Posh.

My name is Posh and I go to Chanel.

But you look the most like Scary. She does.

Do you have, like a Sporty outfit, or...

This I guess could be Sporty's.

No, I do. Stevie, look.

Look... No.

Guys, did you see that? Guys, guys, you all... OK. That literally touched my face.

Touched my face. Guys, stop.

We're about to record.

So, we have the definition in the dance but who's gonna bring us milk.

Not it. Not it.

Maya's it. I said "Not it" before all of you.

I'll do it.

No it's funny if Maya plays the servant and brings us milk. Yeah.

Wait, why do I have to be the servant?

Because you're like different from us.

Like, so, were the Spice girls, and you are the servant

'cause you're like tan.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, okay that's funny.

No, like, hunch over more. Yeah, like, you're old.

Like bent.

You got to go lower. Hunch over. Like lower.

Like this is not funny. Yeah.

Who wants some milk?

Guido! Guido, bring me some milk!

Who's Guido? What's Guido.

Maya's Guido The Gardener because he's Mexican and she's tan.

Tan!

Guido, do you want the milk?

Get it, get it? Me want milk... Ew! Don't touch us.

You're dirty.

Guys, lets start.

OK, yeah. OK, get in line.

I know. Sorry.

Sorry. OK.

What are you doing? No, you're recording.

Yeah. Guido!

No, I'm... You're on camera duty.

Yeah. I can record. I'll record.

No, no. Let her do it. OK.

Get back...

I can do it. It's... Just push the button.

I know what button it is... She knows.

...you guys.

We're the old Spice Girls and we have osteoporosis.

A condition where, um, your bones almost cr*ck because you didn't get your vitamins. Got milk?

Ooh, I'm so old.

Ooh, my back.

Oh, thank you.

Five, six, seven, eight. One... Five, six, seven, eight.

And then it's kind of doing this at the end.

Yeah, like this. Yeah.

But it was like, sometimes it looked like this, but it was... it was so fun.

And we filmed it, on... And it was like, Stevie, Jessica, Connie. Yeah. Oh, my God, actually Maya did this really funny character... No.

...for that... I'm not doing it.

It was so funny.

I'd want to see it.

OK. I'll do it.

OK. It's really funny, but it was like... So funny.

It's like... They made me do it, and I, like, didn't know what I was... uh, I'll do it. OK. Like...

Oh, Guido, you want the milk for you... I make the cake.

Oh, my God.

It's like... OK, you r*cist.

It's not r*cist. They were, like, joking. I don't know.

Wait, did... did you just make fun of Mexicans?

I wasn't... I didn't say I was Mexican, like, they told me I was and it was like a joke. So, wait, wait, wait. So...

In this video project, you play servant and you're serving all your white friends?

Hmm-hmm.

And she put a blanket over Ojichan's shrine.

You don't mess with Ojichan's shrine.

I didn't.

I just didn't want to scare them. Oh, my God.

Why are you so ashamed of being Japanese?

I'm not.

I'm like barely Japanese, and I'm cool with it.

Guido is f*cked up, too.

Watch your language.

Mom? What?

Anna, you are more f*cked up for making her do that.

Mom?

Good job, racists.

...as a great beacon light of hope, the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

It came as a joyous daybreak

to end the long night of their captivity.

"Brings attention to reality that teenagers are in denial about."

Oh, dude!

I just caught a Psyduck! OK.

You're such an idiot.

Let's see it. I got you. I got you so good.

You do this every single time.

Dude, it's like it's two time.

It's not funny.

I get you every time. It's always funny.

Can we help you?

No, can I help you?

Oh, we don't... we don't speak Japanese.

Me neither.

No! God, you're paying for that.

Hi. Um, is the principal here, please. It's important, please.

The principal isn't in right now.

Is there something I can help you.

Um, yeah, actually I... I've been noticing some, um... racism in society and I would like to report it.

OK, kiddo.

Oh, Principal Ravage. Ah.

Um, I just have a quick thought for you.

Um... Yeah, uh-huh. Sure. What?

Um, I've been noticing a bit of a pattern in this school which is, um... Mm-hmm.

Um, racism.

And also separate se-segregation.

And I just think it needs fixings, so...

Uh-huh. Well, thank you for bringing this to my attention, Anna, but I can't tell kids who to spend time with.

And I hear that. I really do, but... actually asked Jeeves last night for some ideas.

And I'm thinking of like a demonstration or something, you know, like... they do organize drunk driving scenes to show kids, like why not to drink and drive, and I think we can do like the same thing.

Uh, you know what? I hear you, but these tend to work themselves out.

Sometimes they don't and you need a demonstration.

OK.

Great.

I guess it's up to me, you d*ck.

Wake up!

So, it'll just be kind of a favor, um, and it wouldn't interfere with drama rehearsal after school at all.

It actually be like... now-ish.

Um...

So, yeah? Just see, you think of this as a script and if you're him...

Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi! Hey, darling.

Hi, how are you? I'm OK.

I don't know, I'm just a little like... blah, after last night. Yeah.

I know what you mean, it was crazy.

Yeah, it was just weird. It's kind of eye-opening for me.

Yeah, yeah. And I'm sorry.

And I got a little something for you later.

What do you have?

OK, party people... A surprise?

...today we're talking about the late Thomas Jefferson.

What do we know about the great TJ? Yes.

Yeah, he's dead.

That is true. OK.

Yes. Gabe again.

Uh, he loves grilled bananas.

I don't think that's true, Gabe.

Bless you.

You don't know what I know.

OK, I do know that he was a Founding Father.

What...

He was a disgusting sl*ve owner.

Maya is Japanese.

That's so weird.

Yeah, that is weird. I bet she eats...

I bet she eats all kinds of gross foods.

Fish-heads. Ew!

No, I don't.

And this, you guys has been an example of racism.

And I would just like everybody to acknowledge that and I see that happening in our school... I am Japanese.

So, um, where was I?

I was just saying that in America... Maya, me love you long time!

You sound Jamaican... OK.

That's not part of this.

Hey, Lucy Liu, can I get a $5 hand-job?

You're Japanese? No sh*t, Maya, I'm American.

Her eyes are always closed. Hey, hey, what's going on here?

Everyone, everyone, get back to your classes.

What's going on?

Someone put this on my locker.

Who is responsible for this?

Well, it's...

Seriously?

Oh, Miss Kone, come on, come on.

We're going to wait in here till Mr. Ravage comes.

Maya, it was... We're going to have to call your parents, you know, that was a hate crime.

It... Come on, come on, get in there.

Be quiet and sit down.

I thought they were friends.

Anna.

Kone. Mom.

She is my best friend and her name is Maya and just so you know the only reason I did that was to bring attention because Becca and Stevie and Connie were treating her differently.

All right. Let's not point the finger, all right?

This is about you and all this racism.

Honey, I taught you this, no?

I'm disappointed. That's what I'm trying to say.

I'm trying to bring attention to the issue.

Don't be a know it all. You're 13.

I... I think, uh, some... major apologizing is in order.

See, this is why she doesn't take anything seriously.

Why? You just want her to apologize go through the motions of apologizing I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and then you're gonna go home and you'll watch The Simpsons with her later.

The point is, then she doesn't learn... What's wrong with The Simpsons?

...to take it seriously. Jesus f*cking Christ, Curtis.

Mom, we're in school, you can't say... Who gives a f*ck?

OK, uh, I wanna thank you both... so much for coming down here today.

And as for you, Miss Kone, I will see you in detention.

I'm not eating.

I'm not eating until racism is over.

You're going on a hunger strike like Gandhi?


What? Oh, for heaven sakes.

Geez, dummy.

What happened?

Nothing.

Come on. Lets' go.

Here you all go.

You know what?

Take a nice long look at yourself, and your bigotry.

It's your problem.

Anybody else, anybody else wanna test me?

Boom, bitch. Suck my pubes, bitch.

Yo, what up, Shuji? What's up?

What's up, Shuj?

Um, welcome to the park.

Yo, this is my sister, Maya.

Yo, what up, Maya?

What's up, Evan?

Let's sit down. So...

Some f*cked up sh*t happened to her today.

Someone wrote "I'm Japanese" on her locker and a bunch of kids called her a dirty Jap.

Yo, that's f*cked up.

This is Andy Kim. He's in my grade.

What's up?

Yo, you're trying to hit this, though?

This tree is hella tight, dawg. Yeah, let's do it.

Yo, Maya, you wanna hit this?

Hey, yo! No, wait.

I'm just kidding.

Hey, yo, she never hit a pipe though. Yes, I have.

Like freaking dank faded all the time.

Oh!

Um, you know what? On second thought I feel like...

I normally would, but I just, during school, like shouldn't.

You know? Staying sober for school.

I respect that.

Uh, Shuji, you wanna hit this? Yeah. All right.

Oh, God. Hey, Koney. Why aren't you at lunch?

Honey-baked ham day.

I'm just kind of busy, like fixing the school.

Oh, well, actually that's not really a bad idea to take a look at yourself especially when you think something's everybody else's fault.

OK.

Have you seen Maya? She's, like, mad at me or whatever.

Uh, sweetie pie, why don't you sit down and have some lunch.

You don't seem like yourself today.

I'm on a hunger strike until racism is over.

Oh. Uh, you... you want half of this?

Because that other thing's gonna take a sec.

What kind is it?

It's... It's kind of a meat.

Ham. There might be cheese in it.

Just keep it. Just keep it. No, no. It's OK. I'm good.

I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

Yeah, right. Thanks, Jan.

Why'd they switch out Aunt Viv? Think about it.

She got that lighter skin, that's right.

Yo, Maya needs justice, man.

She needs to, like, put her r*cist ass friend in check.

She's not really that r*cist, she's like... a good person.

No, that sh*t that she said to you was some of the most f*cked up stuff that I've ever heard.

I bet my sister doesn't even know what racism is.

That is such bullshit. Yes, I do.

It's like when you're mean to people

'cause of their skin color and like lynch them.

No, it's not always as obvious as that.

Yeah, Maya, think about it.

Use your head.

- Do your parents own the cleaners? You look dirty.

When did you immigrate here?

I've never met an oriental before.

Say something in Chinese. Konnichiwa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the f*ck, dude.

Come on. What? It's disgu...

Ah!

Sorry, it happens sometimes.

You see now.

You got to speak up for yourself.

Yeah.

You got to b*at up your friend.

Yeah.

Hey, let me hit that.

Yeah? Yeah.

Hey, no...

Don't... Maya! f*cking... Jesus.

Let's do it.

I have to b*at you up.

I'm gonna eat you up.

I'm gonna b*at your ass now.

I'm gonna eat your ass.

Hello, 'Na.

May.

Hey, 'Na.

I...

Do it. I, uh...

I have to b*at your white ass up... White ass up.

...now.

Follow me, bitch.

OK.

Oh, yeah, you got this, Maya.

Yeah, come on.

They want you to really punch me, so...

Stand up for yourself.

Go!

Come on! Get angry.

Hit her.

Yeah.

Go! I can't believe you f*cking did that!

I was trying to help.

By telling everyone I'm Asian.

They already freaking know. Am I right?

I know, I mean, duh, like I know I'm Asian, but I'm more than that. I know and that's what I was trying to say, like... Yeah.

You just shouldn't hide it and I just thought that I was... celebrating your heritage.

That is so easy for you to say. You don't know what it's like to be me.

You're right. I don't. You're right.

OK, and I wanna choose which Spice Girl I'm gonna be.

I know, you... you should.

And I should've told them that you are Posh Spice.

I should've, OK? Yeah, yeah.

And Guido's f*cked up.

I don't wanna punch you.

I don't want you to punch me either.

Please.

Yeah, you punch that r*cist.

Hit her.

Five... Six...

Seven... Eight...

What the hell is this?

Boo! Boo!

It's not fighting. You guys are hugging.

Let's get out of here.

They don't even know how to do it.

Like, I feel like I was going so much harder...

That guy... He got so freaked out.

Are you sure, like, that I didn't hurt you at all?

I was, like, rough and tumble.

It's crazy. Ma... Ow!

You know that scares me.

Hey, Shuji.

What's up?

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

And I know that you probably hate me now and I understand why.

I knew she wasn't gonna hit you, so...

That's a lie.

I was so freaking... I was like... Maya.

I was like...

Dude, your Japanese is so bad.

No, it isn't.

That's so mean. I have no idea what you guys are saying but I just literally love you.

I'm Posh. Thank you all for coming tonight.

Girl power.

♪ Oh, say you'll be there ♪

♪ I'm, giving you everything ♪

♪ All that joy can bring, yes I swear ♪

♪ Yes, I swear! ♪
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